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688 pages, Paperback
First published September 2, 2025
"In whispered nights where shadows sigh,
Their hearts ignite, and sparks fly high."ּ⭑







"It’s the love. The loyalty. The unfailing, undying, unblistered power of family. It’s how there’s light in each of my siblings so bright that it’s not a question of whether they can illuminate the night sky. They just do. Being around them is like finding a way out of darkness, a way home."

˖⊹ "For anyone who has ever felt like they don’t
quite belong. You belong here." <𝟑 .ᐟ
- ⤿ "Stay? I need to stay, but how can I when staying just hurts everyone around me. Either way, I inflict some kind of pain. There is no victory inside my head. But I can’t be here. I can’t stay and destroy them. It’s a nagging, suffocating panic I can’t shake. I will never be rid of this monster looming over me until I’m miles away. Until I’m certain they’re all safe."
“Ensemble.” Together. My eyes sting, and there is no question, no hesitation, no reluctance inside me. I grab Charlie’s hand— my oldest brother; the brother I might always disagree with but will always love. “Toujours,” I promise. Always. My smile ignites my whole soul on fire. “Ensemble.”
- ⤿ “Maybe I'll finally be a part of a family.”
- ⤿ "The truth about Charlie? He has no real empathy for anyone outside of his twin. His unconditional love for Beckett is the best thing about him. It’s the only thing I relate to, but it’s never been enough."
- ⤿ "Charlie stares so deeply into me; it almost overwhelms me to sudden, scalding tears as he says, “You feel everything. I feel nothing.”"
- ⤿ "Charlie says, “One last thing. For Beckett.” It’s irritating that he can’t just be nice to me without doing it for Beckett. But I’m too drained to say something about it."
- ⤿ "There is something so devastating about his blue eyes, about the way he looks at you. Like you’re his whole entire world, when I know it’s not true. His world is massive and illustrious. I’m small and dull inside it."
- ⤿ "Why am I obsessed with the idea of him practically suffocating me?"
Soaked by Shy Smith was randomly playing during this scene, and I found it so fitting, I couldn’t get the moment out of my head! 🙂↕️
- ⤿ “No one is dying tonight or tomorrow or ever.” She points a matte black painted nail around at us. “You all shall live for centuries.” “In mind and spirit,” Dad clarifies. “For the world will forever know your names alongside ours.” “In body,” Mom argues with him. “For I’ll make sure they are all immortal.” We drum the table together.
My loves 🥹 You could crack open my heart right now and you’d probably find this book and the Cobalts nestled inside (literally) 🫶🏼
- ⤿ "I am so deeply in love with her. She’s become the quiet rustle of leaves. She’s become the soft soil beneath my feet. She’s the cold air that awakens my lungs. The gorgeous light bending through the trees. She is the planet I’ve adored and tried to care for, and when I look ahead and see her, I see my entire world. In all its peaceful beauty."
- ⤿ "“Je t'aime comme les arbres aiment la terre, ma petite sœur,” I murmur from the depth of my soul. I love you like the trees love the earth, my little sister. “Toujours.” Always. “Toujours,” she repeats. “Et je t’aime comme les étoiles aiment la nuit, mon frère préféré.” And I love you like the stars love the night, my favorite brother."
- ⤿ "“Your heart is your strength,” Jane says fiercely. “It also may be the very thing that brings you to your knees, but it can be the very thing that makes you stand. Don’t give up on yourself, Pippy.” She hugs me closer to her side with warmth I crave."
- ⤿ “I’d rather sit on this rooftop with you for a billion years than not have you in this world at all.”
- ⤿ "Courage doesn't exist without fear. We all have to confront things that scare us at some point."
- ⤿ “The existence of me is more harmful than the absence,” I say what has kept cycling in my head for so long. Charlie’s eyes redden. “The loss of you is the most catastrophic event our family will ever endure. You could explode on another planet, and we’d all still feel the impact like you’re a single inch away. We will grieve you for the rest of our lives. You will have irreparably changed us all.”
- ⤿ “I’m irrational. Sensitive. Naïve. Overly emotional." I say. “Passionate, vulnerable, generous, self-sacrificing. These aren’t flaws, Ben. My life—it would be dull and gray without you, mon fils courageux.” My brave son. “You paint my world with color, and I could not bear to lose you. Just as I couldn’t bear to change who you are.”
- ⤿ “You can give me the entire rainforest, your entire family, your money, your clothes—but nothing will ever compare to you. Just you, Ben.”
⤿ ♯ "𝙄'𝙫𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩. 𝙒𝙖𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙨𝙝𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙙? 𝙒𝙖𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙄 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙𝙣'𝙩 𝙚𝙭𝙘𝙞𝙨𝙚 𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙢𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙨? " <𝟑 .ᐟ
"I don't know how to dim when I love you, Harriet. I only know how to burn bright."
Sometimes life isn't about where you go but who's going with you, and where I want to be at the end of the world is beside her.
“For anyone who has ever felt like they don’t quite belong. You belong here.”
“I’d thought that I was the runt they dragged along because they loved me, because they wouldn’t cut any of us loose, but I never thought my father valued me. Not for my beliefs, not for my vulnerabilities, not for my differences—I thought, if anything, I was a negative cost. A sort of liability of the Cobalt Empire.”
“I never believed I could be an asset or a gift. I simply made peace with the fact that I was the worst of us.”
“So many times, I feel like I’m too many conflicting things at once.”
“There is so much agony inside my body, and I can’t verbally translate even an ounce.”
“what if they judge me? Hate me? What if I do something wrong to mess it all up? Or worse, what if they’re amazing friends, and they start wanting more from me? So I’d have to start sharing about my life and get into my past, and all that sounds so incredibly taxing that I’d like to just fling myself into a dilapidated cabin in the South Pole where no one can find me.”
“I don’t know how to dim when I love you, Harriet. I only know how to burn bright.”
“I am so deeply in love with her.
She’s become the quiet rustle of leaves. She’s become the soft soil beneath my feet. She’s the cold air that awakens my lungs. The gorgeous light bending through the trees. She is the planet I’ve adored and tried to care for, and when I look ahead and see her, I see my entire world. In all its peaceful beauty.”
“How do you even describe someone who’s become your best friend, the person you ache to share every aspect of your life with because their mere presence just fills your soul?”
“Your heart is your strength. It also may be the very thing that brings you to your knees, but it can be the very thing that makes you stand. Don’t give up on yourself, Pippy.”
❝People talk about them like they’re spawns of Zeus—godly, some full of hubris, but so unbelievably mighty. Like if you run into one, your whole world will spin on its axis. You’ll be changed.❞
❝“How long have you been the sun?”
He cups my cheek. “I’m not the sun.”
“You are, Ben. Life can’t wither and die when you’re around. Nothing can go cold. Out of an entire Empire of stars, you’re the brightest in the sky.”❞
❝My family’s fierce devotion—it’s everything she’s never had growing up, and I want her to experience love that never leaves you cold. To not just look up and see a constellation, but to be among those eternal stars.❞
❝She’s become the quiet rustle of leaves. She’s become the soft soil beneath my feet. She’s the cold air that awakens my lungs. The gorgeous light bending through the trees. She is the planet I’ve adored and tried to care for, and when I look ahead and see her, I see my entire world. In all its peaceful beauty.❞
❝ It’s the love. The loyalty. The unfailing, undying, unblistered power of family. It’s how there’s light in each of my siblings so bright that it’s not a question of whether they can illuminate the night sky. They just do. Being around them is like finding a way out of darkness, a way home. ❞
“The sun isn’t the brightest star. It’s not even the hottest, but I still burn.” His thumb caresses my cheek. “Because I’m mad. Maddened for those I love. Maddened by their pain. Maddened by life. Your agony is my plight. Your torment, my war. Your love, my triumph. I don’t know how to dim when I love you, Harriet. I only know how to burn bright.”
“You aren’t responsible for the creation of everything,” he says. Emotion stings my eyes. “The same way that you won’t be responsible for its destruction.”
“I really must be your son,” I say. “Believing I have the power to impact the whole world. I, alone, am the cause of bad things happening around me.” I nod strongly to myself and laugh lightly. “Then in the reverse, I can’t even accept my self-importance. I am a real conundrum.”
“A paradox,” he grins. “You don’t have to fit into any box, mon fils. Ordinary is boring.”
“Fuck you for thinking I’m Hope. I’m not her. I’m not even you. I am Harriet fucking Fisher. I’m the girl who was smart enough to skip fifth grade. The girl who’s brilliant enough to get a full ride to an Ivy. The girl who’s proud enough to say I don’t need you. I never needed you to succeed one single day of my life, and I won’t need you to become a doctor. I will do that with the support of people who actually care about me, and thank you for reminding me it’s not you. So fuck you.” I wipe an angry tear away. “And you might hate Hope. You might think she’s the worst person in the world. But look in the fucking mirror. Because you’ve never been any better.”
“You can give me the entire rainforest, your entire family, your money, your clothes—but nothing will ever compare to you. Just you, Ben.”
“I am so deeply in love with her. She’s become the quiet rustle of leaves. She’s become the soft soil beneath my feet. She’s the cold air that awakens my lungs. The gorgeous light bending through the trees. She is the planet I’ve adored and tried to care for, and when I look ahead and see her, I see my entire world. In all its peaceful beauty.”
“The existence of me is more harmful than the absence,” I say what has kept cycling in my head for so long.
Charlie’s eyes redden, his gaze tunneling in me. “The loss of you is the most catastrophic event our family will ever endure. You could explode on another planet, and we’d all still feel the impact like you’re a single inch away. Our parents will never recover. Our mom will grieve you for the rest of her life. You will have irreparably changed us all.”
“I grab my oldest brother’s hand—the brother I might always disagree with but will always love—and I rise with him.
“Toujours,” I promise. Always. My smile ignites my whole soul on fire. “Ensemble.”