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Life Is Short, Laundry Is Eternal
Life Is Short, Laundry Is Eternal provides a rare glimpse into the natural habitat of this most mysterious and splendid of creatures, the North American Stay-at-Home Father
230 pages, ebook
First published March 12, 2013
10 people are currently reading
679 people want to read
About the author
Scott Benner
1 book17 followersScott Benner is a stay-at-home father, a diabetes advocate, and a keen observer of the human condition. He has spent the last twelve years raising his two children at their family home in New Jersey.
Scott shares his triumphs and challenges in parenting a child with type 1 diabetes on ArdensDay.com, an inspirational blog for parents and caregivers of children with diabetes. His first book, Life Is Short, Laundry Is Eternal, is a perfect blend of Scott’s passion for parenting, his knack for positivity in the face of adversity, and his exceptional skill at spinning a yarn.
Scott finds wisdom, love, and a deeper understanding of life by paying close attention to the pauses in between the moments that make up our lives. He enjoys those pauses—and the busy times that intervene—with his wife Kelly, son Cole, and daughter Arden.
Scott shares his triumphs and challenges in parenting a child with type 1 diabetes on ArdensDay.com, an inspirational blog for parents and caregivers of children with diabetes. His first book, Life Is Short, Laundry Is Eternal, is a perfect blend of Scott’s passion for parenting, his knack for positivity in the face of adversity, and his exceptional skill at spinning a yarn.
Scott finds wisdom, love, and a deeper understanding of life by paying close attention to the pauses in between the moments that make up our lives. He enjoys those pauses—and the busy times that intervene—with his wife Kelly, son Cole, and daughter Arden.
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
May 9, 2013
This book is NOTHING like what I expected. What did I expect? I don’t know but I should have been warned of a few things before starting.
First I should have been warned NOT to read this book in public. There are too many times that Scott’s writing evokes either tears or laughter or both. This can be embarrassing and hard to explain when reading in public places. Second, I should have been warned that this dichotomy of emotions would start within the first 20 pages and continue for the entire book!
Because this book came in a package with a diabetes how-to book, I very much expected a book about diabetes. I was wrong. Diabetes is huge because his daughter has diabetes but diabetes is secondary to the book’s wisdom and insight. I quickly went from…what sort of diabetes peeps should read this? To…my cousin and her husband should read this because they live this same life and I bet they can relate! To…my sons should read this. To…everyone should read this.
To read my complete review please go to http://wp.me/p3oVNb-D
First I should have been warned NOT to read this book in public. There are too many times that Scott’s writing evokes either tears or laughter or both. This can be embarrassing and hard to explain when reading in public places. Second, I should have been warned that this dichotomy of emotions would start within the first 20 pages and continue for the entire book!
Because this book came in a package with a diabetes how-to book, I very much expected a book about diabetes. I was wrong. Diabetes is huge because his daughter has diabetes but diabetes is secondary to the book’s wisdom and insight. I quickly went from…what sort of diabetes peeps should read this? To…my cousin and her husband should read this because they live this same life and I bet they can relate! To…my sons should read this. To…everyone should read this.
To read my complete review please go to http://wp.me/p3oVNb-D
March 21, 2013
This was a fantastic book from start to finish. Anyone with kids or planning to have kids should read this book, as it will put a lot of things into perspective for you. Obviously, this book is also a must-read for anyone in the diabetes community as well. The individual stories are well put together and the book has a tremendous flow to it. You will laugh, you may cry and you'll definitely take a hard look at some things after reading this book.
March 26, 2014
When I made the decision to stay home and take care of our daughter Anna, I had no real guide to what I was doing. In 2006, the image of a stay-at-home dad had not progressed much beyond the Hollywood portrayal of the laughably incompetent “Mr. Mom” cliche.
Well, a lot has changed in the first seven years of my daughter’s life. Stay-at-home dads are more commonplace and more accepted as people see we actually can care for our children most of the day without losing them, starving them, or seriously injuring them. There are stay-at-home dad groups, both local and national, that provide support, and there are a growing number of books that take on some aspect of the at-home dad experience.
I should know. I’ve written one myself and I’ve read many others, most recently the witty memoir Life is Short, Laundry is Eternal: Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Dad by author, blogger, and twelve-year at-home dad Scott Benner.
This is a funny, moving, and inspiring book by a man who’s been an at-home dad for almost twice as long as I have. It is filled with hilarious anecdotes, great advice, and touching moments that ring true throughout. I quickly lost track of the number of times I nodded along with some story that paralleled a memorable event in my own life.
Benner also has a great ability to pull both humor and wisdom out of so many mundane situations. Most notably, laundry. The Sisyphean task that is his personal bête noir and the bane of his existence. You get the sense in the first chapter how he has planned not just each day, but his whole life around laundry.
When our home was redesigned, I only asked for one improvement. It wasn’t a media room or a man cave. I asked if it was possible to put the laundry room on the second floor . . . The architect remarked at the time that I was the only who had ever shown an interest in where the laundry room would be. I asked him how many of the men he met were stay-at-home dads, and he couldn’t think of one.
But once you have to haul laundry up a flight of stairs (and up is worse than down thanks to gravity) you care. I drop four to five big bags of dirty laundry down the steps on the way to our apartment’s laundry room every week. Hauling those same bags filled with clean laundry back up the stairs is the worst part. And though proximity of the laundry room to our apartment wasn’t a huge selling point at the time, I am glad in retrospect that we chose a unit within twenty steps of a bank of washers and dryers.
So as you can see, I identify with his struggle. All at-home parents will. And the parents who are out of the house will better appreciate what we do during all those hours we’re at home. They might even hold up their underwear and say thank you (and yes, that’s also a line from the book, and yes my wife Julia—who is now two-thirds of the way through the book herself—really did this).
It’s not just laundry either. Benner describes the daily tasks of parenting with a sharp eye to the ridiculous situations we all stumble into. He talks about the three times he almost “broke, lost or otherwise ended (his son) Cole’s life”—and all three incidents end well. He takes Cole to the zoo and sees things he took for granted through his son’s eyes, teaches him to play baseball and saves his first “practice home run ball,” and searches with him through numerous toy stores for the perfect doll. He even touches upon his continuing romantic relationship with his wife Kelly in the chapter cleverly titled “I Remember Having Sex . . . and the Baby Proves It!”—a sentence all parents have said in some form or other.
But what sets this book apart and takes it from a fun self-deprecating look at parenting to a moving story you will never forget is the chapter on his daughter Arden’s type-1 diabetes diagnosis. The chapter, with the deceptively understated title “Her Breath Smells Funny,” takes the reader almost minute-by-minute through a harrowing middle-of-the-night journey to the E.R., a night in which a two-year-old girl almost loses her life. This is the chapter that takes this book from good to great.
Benner also addresses his broken relationship with his own father, who through most of Benner’s life serves as a model of the kind of dad not to be. In another poignant chapter toward the end of the book, he describes how on the last day of the old man’s life, he is finally able to reconcile with him. The lost opportunity he describes is tragic, and reading about it made me appreciate my own dad that much more.
Life is Short, Laundry is Eternal is a fast-paced, witty, and ultimately poignant book that is hard to put down and easy to finish in a couple of days. Filled with great advice, it is a great introduction to at-home parenting suitable for any parent, and a familiar take on a life that more and more dads are leading. Someday soon, when (God willing) my own book is published, I would take it as an honor and a compliment for it to be mentioned in the same sentence as this exceptional book.
Well, a lot has changed in the first seven years of my daughter’s life. Stay-at-home dads are more commonplace and more accepted as people see we actually can care for our children most of the day without losing them, starving them, or seriously injuring them. There are stay-at-home dad groups, both local and national, that provide support, and there are a growing number of books that take on some aspect of the at-home dad experience.
I should know. I’ve written one myself and I’ve read many others, most recently the witty memoir Life is Short, Laundry is Eternal: Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Dad by author, blogger, and twelve-year at-home dad Scott Benner.
This is a funny, moving, and inspiring book by a man who’s been an at-home dad for almost twice as long as I have. It is filled with hilarious anecdotes, great advice, and touching moments that ring true throughout. I quickly lost track of the number of times I nodded along with some story that paralleled a memorable event in my own life.
Benner also has a great ability to pull both humor and wisdom out of so many mundane situations. Most notably, laundry. The Sisyphean task that is his personal bête noir and the bane of his existence. You get the sense in the first chapter how he has planned not just each day, but his whole life around laundry.
When our home was redesigned, I only asked for one improvement. It wasn’t a media room or a man cave. I asked if it was possible to put the laundry room on the second floor . . . The architect remarked at the time that I was the only who had ever shown an interest in where the laundry room would be. I asked him how many of the men he met were stay-at-home dads, and he couldn’t think of one.
But once you have to haul laundry up a flight of stairs (and up is worse than down thanks to gravity) you care. I drop four to five big bags of dirty laundry down the steps on the way to our apartment’s laundry room every week. Hauling those same bags filled with clean laundry back up the stairs is the worst part. And though proximity of the laundry room to our apartment wasn’t a huge selling point at the time, I am glad in retrospect that we chose a unit within twenty steps of a bank of washers and dryers.
So as you can see, I identify with his struggle. All at-home parents will. And the parents who are out of the house will better appreciate what we do during all those hours we’re at home. They might even hold up their underwear and say thank you (and yes, that’s also a line from the book, and yes my wife Julia—who is now two-thirds of the way through the book herself—really did this).
It’s not just laundry either. Benner describes the daily tasks of parenting with a sharp eye to the ridiculous situations we all stumble into. He talks about the three times he almost “broke, lost or otherwise ended (his son) Cole’s life”—and all three incidents end well. He takes Cole to the zoo and sees things he took for granted through his son’s eyes, teaches him to play baseball and saves his first “practice home run ball,” and searches with him through numerous toy stores for the perfect doll. He even touches upon his continuing romantic relationship with his wife Kelly in the chapter cleverly titled “I Remember Having Sex . . . and the Baby Proves It!”—a sentence all parents have said in some form or other.
But what sets this book apart and takes it from a fun self-deprecating look at parenting to a moving story you will never forget is the chapter on his daughter Arden’s type-1 diabetes diagnosis. The chapter, with the deceptively understated title “Her Breath Smells Funny,” takes the reader almost minute-by-minute through a harrowing middle-of-the-night journey to the E.R., a night in which a two-year-old girl almost loses her life. This is the chapter that takes this book from good to great.
Benner also addresses his broken relationship with his own father, who through most of Benner’s life serves as a model of the kind of dad not to be. In another poignant chapter toward the end of the book, he describes how on the last day of the old man’s life, he is finally able to reconcile with him. The lost opportunity he describes is tragic, and reading about it made me appreciate my own dad that much more.
Life is Short, Laundry is Eternal is a fast-paced, witty, and ultimately poignant book that is hard to put down and easy to finish in a couple of days. Filled with great advice, it is a great introduction to at-home parenting suitable for any parent, and a familiar take on a life that more and more dads are leading. Someday soon, when (God willing) my own book is published, I would take it as an honor and a compliment for it to be mentioned in the same sentence as this exceptional book.
May 14, 2013
Scott's hilarious. This book is really approachable -- it feels like Scott's sitting down with me and complaining and celebrating and just sharing. I'm not married and I don't have kids, but I can only imagine how much it'd resonate with readers that did, and even for me, I found myself laughing and crying as I read. When Scott talks about Arden's diagnosis of T1 diabetes, or about playing baseball with Cole, I really felt what he was feeling -- he's a great storyteller. More than anything, though, his love for his family shines through, which is truly inspiring.
April 20, 2013
Being a fellow 'stay at home', this book validated my feelings on so many levels! I found myself saying out loud, YES! THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT! I rode a roller coaster through out loud laughter, head shaking sadness, and tears of empathy. I've recommended this book to so many people and I highly recommend it to you!
November 11, 2016
I have mixed reactions to this book, arising partly from its own identity crisis. It's marketed as a humor book, and unfortunately it's simply not that funny. Never was I tempted to laugh out loud, and many of the familiar themes (the Sisyphean housework, the minute-by-minute breakdown of a harried parent's day) I've seen handled much better elsewhere. It's not really one of those instructional parenting books either (even though he has that awkward paragraph where he claims to offer mothers "pearls of wisdom from a straight man who is living a life that is almost entirely that of a woman. You are going to get the best relationship advice here that anyone could ever hope to receive." No. Please just stop.) So I wasn't sure why or what I was reading there for a while. He does his best to redeem it halfway through, when he to some extent shifts away from his "Look at the hilarious antics and heroic emotional skills of a stay-at-home-father. Yes, I said father!" shtick and into the quieter and more personal stories like his young daughter's diabetes and his issues with his own father. They weren't what I went into this book expecting, but they ended up being its best sections and had some really well-described and meaningful moments. He is right about what really matters, and he is clearly a loving and focused father. I can see why his blog would have attracted followers, especially other families grappling with juvenile diabetes. I just don't think there's enough style and cohesion here to justify asking readers to invest their time and money in a full book. After all, life is short.
November 15, 2014
What an absolutely wonderful book. There are moments that make you laugh, moments that make you go "Aww," and yes, moments that in a way make you sad. In those moments though, the author provides a larger perspective on the situation that removes the initial sadness (and there are only a handful of moments). The author has a great perspective at the larger picture. I can't select a specific moment in the book as my favorite. Although the making of his children was a little tmi, I still smiled and chuckled and didn't feel awkward reading it. The part that hit home the most to me were the chapters about Arden's diagnosis of type 1 diabetes. It was great to see it from a parent's perspective. I've had type 1 for nearly 25 years (diagnosed at the age of 8) but unfortunately have never thought about how my parents must of been feeling at that time and the time since. Although I know their story would be different from the author's story, his made me think and appreciate that much more about the role my parents and family have had in the management of this disease. I do wish he had written a little bit about how Cole handled this change as well as just fun stories of the kids interacting because I'm sure they have some humorous interactions.
July 8, 2013
I won this book through the Goodreads Givaways. And I'm SOOO glad that I did! I loved the way the author gave a real insight at his life and the everyday struggles that parents go through, even with perfectly healthy children... But I can only imagine what it must be like with a diabetic child. As a parent, it broke my heart to read of Arden's diagnostic, and I will definitely be following Scott's blog from now on! A MUST-READ for everyone who have, or plan on having children.
a little constructive criticism : I was under the impression that the book was going to read kind of like a story, from beginning to end, but it jumps in certain places, and although you know from reading the back cover that he has a daughter with type 1 diabetes, he mentions a night of staying up to check her BG.... before he mentionned her birth. I kind of had to go back a few pages to make sure I hadn't skipped ahead, but in the end, it all works out.
Overall, I loved it, and i will be recommending it to everyone! :)
a little constructive criticism : I was under the impression that the book was going to read kind of like a story, from beginning to end, but it jumps in certain places, and although you know from reading the back cover that he has a daughter with type 1 diabetes, he mentions a night of staying up to check her BG.... before he mentionned her birth. I kind of had to go back a few pages to make sure I hadn't skipped ahead, but in the end, it all works out.
Overall, I loved it, and i will be recommending it to everyone! :)
January 15, 2014
I would actually give this a 3.75. (I don't round things up. It's a weird defect I have.) The title of this book caught my eye at the library and I thought it would be a fun read. I figured a stay-at-home dad would have a different perspective on staying at home and I hoped that he would be funny. He was funny, but he was also much more open and emotional than I expected.
The last part of the book deals with how he and his wife cope with their daughter's Type I diabetes. I knew that this type of diabetes is serious, but I didn't realize just how serious and life-changing it is until I read about their experiences. He keeps the book from being depressing by being matter of fact about the impact.
I read the book for one reason, but am glad on a whole other level. I think any parent would enjoy this book.
The last part of the book deals with how he and his wife cope with their daughter's Type I diabetes. I knew that this type of diabetes is serious, but I didn't realize just how serious and life-changing it is until I read about their experiences. He keeps the book from being depressing by being matter of fact about the impact.
I read the book for one reason, but am glad on a whole other level. I think any parent would enjoy this book.
April 16, 2013
I am a little biased. I have known Scott for over 20 years. I was amazed with his talent as a writer. I always know that he was a creative person, but never in a million years thought he would be a published author. There were stories in this book that I knew, and others that I didn’t. I enjoyed them more knowing what was going thru Scott’s head as they happened. I don’t think that I could have the dedication and determination that it takes to be a stay at home dad, and I work from home. This is a truly inspiring story,. Spend the money and buy his book, so he can get to write another, because there are more stories and adventures out there are even more entertaining. Maybe then he can afford to get someone else to do his laundry.
August 16, 2013
A fast read filled with wonderful stories of parenthood and the many challenges/joys that go with the territory. The author writes a very moving auto-biography from a mostly lighthearted perspective. Loved that there were so many laugh-out-loud sections. I was most captivated by the chapters surrounding his daughters diagnosis of Type 1 diabetes. Having worked with pts/families that manage this disease for 15+ year, I am always touched and in awe of the home challenges that we clinicians don't see and often don't hear about. Nice job Scott!
May 23, 2013
Right from the opening chapter I was hooked. It felt like we were sitting down together on the sofa chatting…..about our mutual dislike for laundry. And this was the tone for the rest of the book, like old friends chatting about life, work, family, values and history.
To me, his underlying messages are to learn from your mistakes, communicate, and just love your family. Don’t just walk away if the going gets tough, that “if you stay until the end, the good parts will far outweigh the bad ones”.
To me, his underlying messages are to learn from your mistakes, communicate, and just love your family. Don’t just walk away if the going gets tough, that “if you stay until the end, the good parts will far outweigh the bad ones”.
October 25, 2014
Started off weak but ended so very powerfully.
I picked up this book never even knowing it was in anyway related to Type 1 Diabetes, and was startled to find it to have such a powerful description of life with the disease. The book measured as a whole only discusses diabetes briefly, but the effect of those relatively brief sections influence profoundly the book as a whole. I'm sure there's a metaphor there somewhere.
I picked up this book never even knowing it was in anyway related to Type 1 Diabetes, and was startled to find it to have such a powerful description of life with the disease. The book measured as a whole only discusses diabetes briefly, but the effect of those relatively brief sections influence profoundly the book as a whole. I'm sure there's a metaphor there somewhere.
January 25, 2016
Very honest look into parenting. I can relate to every bit of it as a stay at home parent myself, but especially enjoyed his chapters about Arden and her diagnosis. He was able to put into words what every parent of a type 1 diabetic feels upon diagnosis and then every day thereafter. I hope I can learn to function on 4-5 hours of interrupted sleep, too! Laundry does suck, no matter how you slice it.
October 28, 2013
I've just spent the last 6 hours or so reading what I consider to be one of the best non-fiction books ever written. Once I opened it up and began reading, I couldn't put it down until I reached the end - even while I was cooking my dinner I had it in my hand. What an absolute pleasure to read. I don’t think I can put into words just how much I enjoyed this book.
April 16, 2013
This book is entertaining, informative, funny and powerful. It is great for both men and women. I read it in one day, I couldn't put it down. I am recommending it to all my friends. Can't wait for the next one!
May 13, 2013
This was such a joy to read! I love the humor, the respect for both moms and stay at home parents, and the honesty of what that means and to have a child with T1D. I look forward to your blog and future books!
June 4, 2013
This book was AMAZING! I couldn't put it down. I can't even find enough good words to say about it. Scott is funny, honest and straight forward. Buy this book and read it so we can support Scott in being able to write more books just like this!
July 2, 2013
LOVED IT! Felt like I was sitting with Scott and having a chat. He made me laugh, but most of all he made me reflect on my own family.
May 9, 2013
A quick read that has something to offer everyone. I could relate on many levels and even took away some good advice. Thanks Scott for a great read.
July 25, 2013
It was an easy read - different to read the stay at home dad's view - especially in a crisis!
January 31, 2017
I enjoyed reading this book from beginning to the end. Scott has a way of making you laugh and cry.
December 31, 2013
Hilarious and poignant look at life with spouses, children...
October 8, 2015
A very fast read...funny and full of some good advice. The only thing I didn't care for were the couple of chapters that he chose to kind of slam his wife a little. I mainly read this book because the author's daughter has diabetes (and so does my son.) My favorite quote: "Being diagnosed with type 1 diabetes presents an immediate and monumental shift in a caregiver's focus. It doesn't allow for you to get acquainted with your new life. You can't decide to start on Monday, like a diet." Well said.
April 16, 2019
I read this book because I knew Scott Benner from his podcast and I always loved how he explained things and joked around.
So I did have some pretty high expectations going in to this and they were more than met! I cried and laughed and sometimes did that at the same time.
I don't think that I'd be the target audience for this book (as I'm 18) but even though I didn't have to deal with all those adult things or the love (or responsibility) you feel for your own kids, I still enjoyed it a lot. And I probably learned some things for my future life (or at least got some ideas on what I want and don't want any future husbands or kids (or pets) to experience).
Thank you for writing this. Thank you for being honest and real and I really hope that you'll publish some more:)
So I did have some pretty high expectations going in to this and they were more than met! I cried and laughed and sometimes did that at the same time.
I don't think that I'd be the target audience for this book (as I'm 18) but even though I didn't have to deal with all those adult things or the love (or responsibility) you feel for your own kids, I still enjoyed it a lot. And I probably learned some things for my future life (or at least got some ideas on what I want and don't want any future husbands or kids (or pets) to experience).
Thank you for writing this. Thank you for being honest and real and I really hope that you'll publish some more:)
October 4, 2019
Life Is Short, Laundry Is Eternal: Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Dad (Paperback)
I'm a part-time stay at home dad. I spend Mondays and Fridays with my 4-year-old daughter. There are three points that stuck out to me.
1. Enjoy the pauses ... enjoy every last second of the personal discoveries as they grow into adults (pg 56).
2. Life does get in the way of living, but most everything life requires of you can wait long enough for you to refocus and kiss your kid (p 165)
3. Communication, sharing, chatting with a friend, it doesn't matter what you call it or what vehicle you use to accomplish it - just do it (p 212).
I found this book provided a fresh perspective on what's important as a stay at home dad. I'm not alone. This alone was extremely helpful. Thank you for writing this!
I'm a part-time stay at home dad. I spend Mondays and Fridays with my 4-year-old daughter. There are three points that stuck out to me.
1. Enjoy the pauses ... enjoy every last second of the personal discoveries as they grow into adults (pg 56).
2. Life does get in the way of living, but most everything life requires of you can wait long enough for you to refocus and kiss your kid (p 165)
3. Communication, sharing, chatting with a friend, it doesn't matter what you call it or what vehicle you use to accomplish it - just do it (p 212).
I found this book provided a fresh perspective on what's important as a stay at home dad. I'm not alone. This alone was extremely helpful. Thank you for writing this!
January 27, 2021
3.5 stars. I bought this book for my husband to commemorate his first year as a stay-at-home Dad. It is touching, funny, emotional, and relatable. There are a few chapters / sections that disappointed me, though, like the one where he tells wives to suck it up and have sex with their husbands even if they don't feel like it. Ugh. Sometimes it felt like he was defensively writing the book to other men who might judge his role, instead of the most probable audience: other stay-at-home parents. Overall, though, I liked the book and the section about his daughter's type 1 diabetes diagnosis made me cry.
November 3, 2023
Easy to read, offers a variety of undertones and would definitely diverge from your expectations.
February 7, 2022
As someone that is part of the DOC, I kind of wish there was a little more about life with Type1, but I know that wasn’t the premise of the book and can’t be too disappointed.
Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews