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Not Refusing, Just Overloaded: A Neuroaffirming Guide to School Resistance in Autistic Kids with a PDA Profile
Your child isn’t defiant. They’re overloaded. And you’re not alone.
If school mornings feel like meltdowns, shutdowns, or total gridlock, and you're constantly being told your autistic or demand-avoidant child “just needs more structure,” this book is for you.
What looks like refusal is often a nervous system saying “I can’t.”
In this short, powerfully validating guide, neurodivergent advocate Avery Grant shows you what’s really going on beneath the surface of school resistance, especially for kids with a PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) profile.
✔️ Understand the difference between defiance and distress
✔️ Learn why typical advice backfires with PDA kids, and what actually helps
✔️ Get real-life scripts, sensory-aware strategies, and pressure-reducing accommodations
✔️ Learn how to advocate for appropriate supports through IEPs, 504 Plans, or EHCPs
✔️ Reflect with guided prompts to explore whether homeschooling, unschooling, or alternative education might better meet your child’s needs
✔️ Shift from panic to clarity, and rebuild trust with your child
This is not about forcing your child to comply. It’s about creating safety.
Whether your child is five or fifteen, newly diagnosed or struggling silently through the school day, this guide offers calm, compassionate tools to reduce overwhelm, restore connection, and support learning on their terms, not the system’s.
Perfect for families navigating school resistance, demand avoidance, anxiety, burnout, and shutdowns in autistic kids of all ages. You’re not failing. You’re responding to your child’s real needs. Each page offers practical support to help you move forward with confidence.
You don’t need to read hundreds of pages to start making a difference.
This book is short, to the point, and designed to give you immediate support that actually works.
Part of the Autism and PDA Support Series by Avery Grant, this guide joins a growing collection of short and compassionate resources designed for real-life struggles, written for parents who need real-world, neurodiversity-affirming support.
If school mornings feel like meltdowns, shutdowns, or total gridlock, and you're constantly being told your autistic or demand-avoidant child “just needs more structure,” this book is for you.
What looks like refusal is often a nervous system saying “I can’t.”
In this short, powerfully validating guide, neurodivergent advocate Avery Grant shows you what’s really going on beneath the surface of school resistance, especially for kids with a PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) profile.
✔️ Understand the difference between defiance and distress
✔️ Learn why typical advice backfires with PDA kids, and what actually helps
✔️ Get real-life scripts, sensory-aware strategies, and pressure-reducing accommodations
✔️ Learn how to advocate for appropriate supports through IEPs, 504 Plans, or EHCPs
✔️ Reflect with guided prompts to explore whether homeschooling, unschooling, or alternative education might better meet your child’s needs
✔️ Shift from panic to clarity, and rebuild trust with your child
This is not about forcing your child to comply. It’s about creating safety.
Whether your child is five or fifteen, newly diagnosed or struggling silently through the school day, this guide offers calm, compassionate tools to reduce overwhelm, restore connection, and support learning on their terms, not the system’s.
Perfect for families navigating school resistance, demand avoidance, anxiety, burnout, and shutdowns in autistic kids of all ages. You’re not failing. You’re responding to your child’s real needs. Each page offers practical support to help you move forward with confidence.
You don’t need to read hundreds of pages to start making a difference.
This book is short, to the point, and designed to give you immediate support that actually works.
Part of the Autism and PDA Support Series by Avery Grant, this guide joins a growing collection of short and compassionate resources designed for real-life struggles, written for parents who need real-world, neurodiversity-affirming support.
68 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 28, 2025
17 people are currently reading
24 people want to read
About the author
Avery Grant
24 books2 followersAvery Grant is a writer, researcher, and neurodiversity advocate who creates clear, compassionate, and practical guides for families, educators, and individuals navigating autism and PDA.
Avery never planned to write parenting books. But when their child was identified as autistic with a strong PDA profile, everything shifted. That journey opened the door to understanding their own neurodivergence and revealed how hard it can be to find respectful, accessible support. Most resources felt too long, too expensive, or too focused on “fixing” kids instead of understanding them — so Avery began writing the guides they wished they’d had.
Writing under the pen name Avery Grant allows for honesty and vulnerability while protecting their family’s privacy. Each guide blends lived experience with research, drawing from years of collaboration with psychologists, occupational therapists, speech-language pathologists, developmental pediatricians, and neuropsychologists.
Representation matters. Avery intentionally chooses inclusive images and examples so more families can feel seen and understood. At the heart of these guides is a simple belief: every child and every family deserves compassionate, neuroaffirming support.
The mission behind these books is simple: make support more accessible. These guides are for the burned-out parents, the overwhelmed educators, the late-diagnosed adults piecing things together, and every family who hasn’t always seen themselves reflected in autism resources but deserves understanding and validation. Avery believes that emotional neglect lies at the heart of so much harm in the world — especially for neurodivergent kids whose needs are so often misunderstood. When children grow up feeling respected instead of shamed, they are more likely to become adults who lead with empathy and help create a kinder, safer world. Parenting with less shame and more connection has the power to change lives.
Avery never planned to write parenting books. But when their child was identified as autistic with a strong PDA profile, everything shifted. That journey opened the door to understanding their own neurodivergence and revealed how hard it can be to find respectful, accessible support. Most resources felt too long, too expensive, or too focused on “fixing” kids instead of understanding them — so Avery began writing the guides they wished they’d had.
Writing under the pen name Avery Grant allows for honesty and vulnerability while protecting their family’s privacy. Each guide blends lived experience with research, drawing from years of collaboration with psychologists, occupational therapists, speech-language pathologists, developmental pediatricians, and neuropsychologists.
Representation matters. Avery intentionally chooses inclusive images and examples so more families can feel seen and understood. At the heart of these guides is a simple belief: every child and every family deserves compassionate, neuroaffirming support.
The mission behind these books is simple: make support more accessible. These guides are for the burned-out parents, the overwhelmed educators, the late-diagnosed adults piecing things together, and every family who hasn’t always seen themselves reflected in autism resources but deserves understanding and validation. Avery believes that emotional neglect lies at the heart of so much harm in the world — especially for neurodivergent kids whose needs are so often misunderstood. When children grow up feeling respected instead of shamed, they are more likely to become adults who lead with empathy and help create a kinder, safer world. Parenting with less shame and more connection has the power to change lives.
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