University of British Columbia psychopathy expert Leanne ten Brinke draws on the latest science to help you identify and manage dark personalities—from the difficult to the deadly—and dramatically reduce their impact on your relationships, workplaces, and society at large.
Everyone knows how much damage one bad apple can do. One bully in a classroom can create a culture of fear. A controlling spouse can crush an entire family’s sense of stability, security, and independence. A domineering boss can tank a team’s performance. A ruthless, shameless politician can set a whole country on edge. But who are these poisonous people? How much harm and misery do they really cause? And what can the rest of us do to stop them from ruining our homes, workplaces, and communities?
In Poisonous People, award-winning psychologist Dr. Leanne ten Brinke offers a brilliant new perspective on dark personalities. Weaving together personal stories and pathbreaking research, she depicts a surprising a small portion of the population causes most of the world’s suffering. People with psychopathic and related personality traits commit a disproportionate amount of crime, with an economic cost estimated in the trillions of dollars. They also poison communities by spreading negativity, violating trust, and eroding norms. Fortunately, science offers powerful solutions. By understanding the harm dark personalities cause, identifying them when we see them, making informed decisions about whether to exit relationships with them, and knowing how to manage them when we decide to stay, we can dramatically reduce the pain we and others around us suffer.
In Poisonous People, ten Brinke gives us powerful, science-based tools for navigating dark personalities in a range of everyday contexts. As she argues, we have the power to reduce their power over us, whether at home, at school, at work—even in the political realm. PoisonousPeople shows us how to use that power to improve our lives—and the world.
This is a clearly written discussion of psychopathology and what the author refers to as “dark personalities” in our midst and their impact on us in our personal and professional lives and how they can use their financial and political power to make the world a worse place.
The author suggests that these personalities rarely change much and thus it’s best to stay away from them and not allow them into positions of power if possible. She also describes a phenomenon where these callous and empathy-lacking folks are applauded by those who see them as “successful” but assures us that research shows they are actually poor leaders.
She provides some guidance on how to handle those with these traits when you have to although her stance is basically try not to be around them.
Further, she suggests doing some reflection on our own darker tendencies.
Despite including some research, this is an easy read and seems aimed at a non-academic audience.
Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for my honest review.
This book is well-written and filled with great examples to demonstrate the various ways poisonous people may infiltrate your life. It serves as a great introduction to the topic and breaks it down in an easily digestible way for readers. Because it was straightforward, I find I don't have many thoughts. This isn't a bad thing, simply shows that the book did its job. As a mental health counselor, this is a book that I could use to supplement my therapy sessions, a book to give clients for further reading. While I didn't come away learning anything new, there were great quotes to share and I love adding new material to my toolbox.
“Toxic” people, gaslighting narcissists, and now “poisonous” people—whatever term we use, the idea is the same: certain individuals seem to wreak havoc on the lives of others. They disrupt workplaces, fracture families, and dominate public life in ways that feel wildly disproportionate to their numbers.
How much damage do they really cause? And what, if anything, can the rest of us do about them? In Poisonous People, psychologist Leanne ten Brinke argues that a relatively small segment of the population—those high in traits like psychopathy, narcissism, and manipulation—accounts for an outsized share of human misery. These are not just difficult personalities. They are people who erode trust, manufacture conflict, and use others as tools for personal gain.
Her advice—set boundaries, recognize red flags, limit exposure—will be familiar to anyone who has read popular psychology.
Using real-life cases (names and locations altered for privacy), she takes us from toxic workplaces to dysfunctional relationships to politics. She uses Donald Trump as a Poster Boy for dark personalities operating on a large scale.
Readers may wonder where the line falls between a difficult personality and a truly destructive one—and how often we might mislabel others (or even ourselves). Ten Brinke reminds us that if we fixate on the darkness of others, we may overlook or deny our own defects, telling ourselves, “I may not be perfect but I’m better than *that* person.”
We all harm others in various ways–we just don’t do it as much as poisonous people do. Still, we should look at the Dark Behavior Scanner from chapter 4 and ask ourselves the same questions. Can we say “never have I ever” done the things toxic people do?
In a book that seems to be treading a lot of familiar ground, one suggestion stands out from the rest. Ten Brinke suggests that “poisonous” individuals often need the very attention and validation they demand, and that offering measured affirmation might sometimes be an effective strategy for managing them.
“The Case for Goodness” in chapter 8 is compelling, with examples of children who actually overcome their dark traits with the help of a caring, compassionate mentor.
In the same chapter, the section titled “Be Good . . . Even When They’re Not” issues a challenge we may find daunting: we “should try to muster more empathy for dark personalities of all ages.”
Showing compassion and empathy for dark personalities is in our own self-interest, ten Brinke asserts. Canceling others does not help. Being ostracized makes rude people even ruder. People with pyschopathic traits might actually need more empathy and warmth than the rest of us do. They’re awful at giving it but they “actually do need validation.”
What does that really mean? How do we affirm and validate these people without enabling them? Perhaps we need a follow-up to this book.
I applaud her conclusion: “The antidote to poisonous people isn’t some magical drug or transformative therapy. It’s the benevolent majority. It’s you.”
There is a particular genre of human we’ve all encountered—the charm-forward, accountability-averse, faintly unnerving operator who leaves you wondering if you imagined the whole interaction. Poisonous People is, in essence, a field guide to exactly those people. And reader, it is excellent.
Leanne ten Brinke approaches the subject with the kind of cool, forensic intelligence that suggests she could dismantle your personality in under ten minutes, but chooses, generously, to simply explain it instead. The result is a book that feels both rigorously researched and eminently readable; no small feat when dealing with the murkier corners of human behaviour.
What’s particularly striking is its refusal to descend into melodrama. There are no grand declarations that everyone in your orbit is secretly toxic. Instead, it offers something far more useful: clarity. The kind that arrives mid-chapter and has you pausing, tea in hand, thinking, well… that explains a great deal.
It is, at its core, a book about discernment. About recognising patterns, trusting instincts, and, perhaps most radically, accepting that not every confusing person is yours to figure out or fix.
Fiercely smart and quietly devastating in its accuracy, this is the sort of book that makes you feel both better informed and slightly more formidable.
Our society is accustomed to using pop psychology flippantly in everyday dialogue or throughout social media platforms. What Dr. Leanne ten Brinke offers in her work, “Poisonous People,” is the hard work, dedication, research, experience and wisdom into the depths of dark personalities. She helps the reader to truly distinguish, identify, and understand these dark personalities that are often mentioned throughout casual conversation.
Her writing is both engaging and accessible to the reader. She is able to put her research into the hands of every reader which is truly a gift to the general public. Every person encounters some level of a dark personality in everyday life and this book is an incredible tool and resource to rely upon when dealing with such people.
I highly recommend everyone to have a copy of this book in their library. Thank you, Dr. Leanne ten Brinke for what you’ve offered the world in your dedication, energy, research and work.
Lo mas importante es que las personas venenosas, al final, también son seres humanos, y que todos tenemos algo de venenosos, unos mas que otros. El segundo punto que creo es muy importante, es el pensamiento generalizado de que las personas prepotentes, egocentricas, narcisistas, que hacen lo que sea para lograr sus objetivos son buenos líderes, y los proponemos para posiciones de poder, el mejor caso es Trump, y el tremendo daño que hacen estas personas desde el poder.
I couldn’t put this book down from the moment I started reading it. The author achieves the perfect balance between presenting her research-backed guidance and hooking the reader with fascinating stories from both her personal experience and the interviews she has conducted. Despite the seemingly dark topics covered, this book is an enjoyable read that will shed light on how to deal with even the darkest of personalities - Highly recommend!
3.5. Pretty good book, easy to read. It explains dark personalities in people in a clear way with some research. Not super new or mind-blowing, but the stories are the best part. Real examples of toxic people, makes you go "wow, these people really exist" and feel less alone but also want to slap them.