Now That I Know You by Heart: A Novel

by Amy Hagstrom

A young widow embraces a life-changing new start on San Juan Island in a joyful and redemptive novel about closure, self-discovery, chosen family, and the courage it takes to live truthfully.

Newly widowed Shelby Wright has left the Portland suburbs for a new life on Washington’s San Juan Island to fulfill her late husband’s dying wish. Running the shuttered Captain Merrick Inn, where they’d honeymooned twenty years before, is also a chance for Shelby to prove she can go it solo. Miles from home and her young adult son, Shelby is ready to finally acknowledge to herself that she is gay. But becoming the person she’s hidden away for so long isn’t going to be easy.

As Shelby renovates and rebrands the inn, she meets charismatic winemaker Holly Caster. Their fast connection challenges Shelby to confront her emerging identity and lingering attachment not only to her husband, whom she loved, but to the best friend she left behind. When Shelby is welcomed by a supportive group of local queer women dubbed “the San Juan Sisters,” she’s on her way to making a professional venture—and a long-awaited personal quest—come true.

Both she and the inn may be in need of a little TLC, but Shelby is about to find love and purpose in the most unexpected places.

Genres: Lesbian, LGBT, Contemporary, Audiobook, Romance, Fiction, Womens Fiction

280 pages, Kindle Edition

Expected publication January 20, 2026

Reviews

[Heather~ Nature.books.and.coffee · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this heartfelt story about healing, and your true self. Shelby Wright is newly widowed. She leaves her home in Portland and moves to San Juan Island in Washington for a fresh start and to fulfill her husband's dying wishes of running the Captain Merrick Inn, where they spent their honeymoon. While there, Shelby meets winemaker Holly and they develop quick feelings for each other, and she also meets a wonderful community of queer women that she bonds with. I enjoyed reading about Shelby and her personal growth and journey of accepting herself and finding happiness again. A really sweet and uplifting read.


Thank you to the publisher, author, and Suzy approved book tours for the gifted copy. All opinions are my own.

[lirissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Now That I Know You By Heart isn’t my usual read, but I ended up enjoying it. It’s a quiet, character-driven story about loss, second chances, and rebuilding a life later on, and it takes its time with those themes.

The romance is present and important, but overall it doesn’t feel like the main focus. What stood out more for me was Shelby’s journey, the small-town setting, and the sense of chosen family that develops around her. The story doesn’t spell everything out, especially toward the end, which I appreciated.

The audiobook narration is a huge highlight. Lori Prince brings the characters and setting to life beautifully, and performance-wise this is one of my favourite narrations from her.

Overall, a gentle, warming read I’m glad I picked up.

Thank you to the author and NetGalley for providing an ALC in exchange for an honest review.

[Pujashree · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a gentle story about loss, grief, and learning to move on. I've read many small town extreme business makeover sapphic romances, but this one hits different. I'm glad to see that this isn't being marketed as a romance, because while there's a love interest, the focus of the story isn't that. The budding romance is only one element of a coming of age story, specifically a late in life queer awakening. I love late bloomer stories, being one myself. There is no rosy sheen to this kind of journey. There is mountains of internal conflict and guilt and a harrowing but necessary path to learning self-love. If this was primarily a romance, I would be annoyed that it's a single POV, but this story is rooted in Shelby's journey of widowhood and self-acceptance. I identified with so much of the grief journey, rooted in some guilt, which extends to wanting to fulfill the dying wish of someone you feel you wronged in life, at the expense of your own self. And yet grief journeys tend to be rather illuminating and liberating of one's most unacknowledged self, and finding people and community and exercises in self-love that sustain you for the rest of your life.
I received an advance audiobook for this from Netgalley, and the narrator hit just the perfect note for a character who is deeply vulnerable yet resilient, and charting a new path of truth, after years of marriage and parenthood. This is just the kind of POV that is the sweet spot as a queer millennial reader. I'm looking forward to what the author writes next.

[Madalynne Bridge · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75⭐️ I would describe this as Hallmark movie romance meets LGBTQ+ set in the San Juan Islands. Shelby’s journey of self discovery buoyed by remodeling a historic inn was fun to read about.

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for providing a copy of the e-book ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Nicole Lasnicki · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25 stars

Young widow Shelby Wright left the Portland suburbs to start anew on Washington’s San Juan Island to fulfill her late husband’s dying wish to reopen the Captain Merrick Inn where they honeymooned . As she reflected upon their life, recalling their honeymoon on the island and their relationship, she also revealed that she had come to the realization that she has always been gay and that she had hidden the truth from herself and others.

As Shelby worked tirelessly to renovate and revamp the inn, she met new friends on the island which reinvigorated her to not only restart her life there but to claim her true identity and live an authentic life.

This was an excellent and poignant novel about loss, love and reinventing a life. I appreciated the author’s care for each character as Shelby was able to come to terms with her second chance at a new life, other characters were able to be their authentic selves. I loved the cast of characters Shelby meets - men and women who gave her a new reason to live as she truly wished and who supported her success in all ways.

This was a well written story about second chances and I could not put it down. The setting of San Juan Island is vibrantly described, and I hope to visit there someday. A beautiful story in a beautiful setting.

[Lei · Rating 3 out of 5]

I went into this book with hesitation, and I want to be upfront about that. Stories centered on late-in-life self-discovery especially around identity aren’t usually my go-to. Because of that, it took me a little while to settle into this one.

What ultimately kept me reading was the setting and the quiet, steady rhythm of the story. San Juan Island felt warm and lived-in, and I genuinely enjoyed the process of reopening the Captain Merrick Inn. Watching Shelby figure out the logistics of restoring a place, building community ties, and leaning on the people around her was my favorite part of the book.

The emotional core of the story is very gentle and introspective. Shelby is flawed, sometimes frustrating, but clearly written as someone navigating grief, change, and long-suppressed truths all at once. While I didn’t personally connect to every aspect of her internal struggle, I appreciated how thoughtfully the author portrayed chosen family, especially through the San Juan Sisters and the idea that healing doesn’t happen in isolation.

This wasn’t a book I loved, but it was one I respected. It’s warm, light, and sincere, and I can see it resonating deeply with readers who enjoy character-driven stories about starting over, community, and living more honestly.

[Carol · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you @amyhagstromwrites and @amazonpublishing for the #gifted book.

Shelby is newly widowed and moves to Washington's San Juan Island to fulfill her husband's dying wish of running the Captain Merrick Inn where they honeymooned 20 years ago. Shelby arrives in San Juan after recently acknowledging she is gay. She has a hard time fulfilling her husband's wish while wanting to forge a new path and stay true to herself.

This is a heartfelt story of love and self discovery. The description of the island is vivid and had me wanting to learn more about the island. There are wonderful and relatable characters. Holly is a wine maker who helps Shelby with renovating the Inn. There is an immediate connection and there is a slow blossoming romance. Holly also introduces Shelby to a wonderful group of queer women that call themselves "the San Juan Sisters.

I enjoyed Shelby's journey from grief, to becoming an inn keeper, to rediscovering herself, to living authentically and finding a chosen family. If you like character driven stories about self discovery and second chances, you will enjoy Now That I Know You By Heart

[Kathleen Basi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amy Hagstrom’s sensitive story of self-discovery simply shines. In “Now That I Know You by Heart,” a widow and mother moves to San Juan Island in the Pacific Northwest to fulfill her husband’s dying wish: that she revitalize the inn where they stayed on their honeymoon.

Monumental a task as this is, Shelby’s biggest struggle is to honor her husband’s request while being true to herself. Shelby comes to San Juan Island having only recently acknowledged her same-sex orientation. The saga of reopening the Captain Merrick Inn is complicated by her need to blaze her own path, not passively drift along the one she’s been following on inertia her whole life.

Hagstrom's lyrical prose and her gift for capturing the beauty of a place shine in this story. In every book she writes, the setting is evoked so vividly, with such love and appreciation, that it stirs the heart with desire to experience all that is beautiful and transcendent in the world. "Now That I Know You by Heart" is no exception. This book is a feast for the heart, the senses, and the imagination.

[hannah ⊹ ࣪ ˖ · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have been on the hunt for a good women’s fiction book (I haven’t been having the best luck lately), but this was sooooo good! It felt refreshing, redemptive, and full of hope and self-discovery.

You have Shelby, who is young, newly widowed, and full of grief and fear. She decides to move to San Juan Island to fulfill her husband’s dying wish: renovate and run the inn that they spent their honeymoon in two decades ago. This is Shelby’s chance to prove she can do life alone, but along the way, she also knows it’s time to grapple with something she’s always known but has never dealt with or accepted: she’s a gay woman.

This was such a beautiful, breathtaking novel. I loved every single character, and following Shelby’s journey from heartbreak, to rediscovering herself, to finding her chosen family, and finally, truly accepting herself fully was such a joy to experience. This was absolutely stunning and the prose is lyrical and raw and full of so much vulnerability. I absolutely recommend checking this out.

A huge thank you to NetGalley and Lake Union Publishing for this eARC!

[Asia Macdonald · Rating 5 out of 5]

Now That I Know You By Heart by Amy Hagstrom was so emotionally rich and touching. It was felt very personal but still universally resonant in a lot of ways. I really enjoyed reading about Shelby’s emotional journey and healing, and as a queer woman, these conversations are important to have, so I loved the representation. It was eye opening to read about her journey of self rediscovery not only as a queer woman but as a grieving widow, and mother. I love the most how nothing felt rushed, from the romance to her healing, and it felt very authentic and truly well done. The chemistry and connection between Holly and Shelby felt natural, steady and grounding which added to that feeling of this book being realistic and relatable. Lastly, I loved the setting, it felt super vivid and cozy, so I literally have no complaints about this book. I will be recommending this to my friends, family and everyone for their next read, it was truly touching. Thank you Amy Hagstrom, Lake Union Publishing and NetGalley for the opportunity to read this ARC in exchange for an honest review!

[Maria · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a nice listen, but I had hoped for more. The story about Shelby, trying to find her true self after the death of her husband is interesting but also a bit boring at times, not that much drama at all. I never really get how she could stay with her husband for two decades living a lie and then when he dies feel obliged to make sure his dying wish is fulfilled. I suppose she feels guilty for her life lie with him, she didn’t deserve his love. Then at the island she tries to both live her truth and make sure the inn will become a success. The budding love story with Holly has a way to small role in the book unfortunately, if more of that I would probably have liked the story more.

I normally like Lori Prince as a narrator, but I was a bit disappointed with her performance in this one, some of the voices done by her are downright cringe unfortunately.

I received a free ALC and leave an honest review voluntarily.

[Coca · Rating 4 out of 5]

This review is for the audio version of the book, provided by NetGalley, and narrated by Lori Prince.

Following the death of her husband of 20 years, Shelby is following his dying wish and moving to an island where they had their honeymoon, to buy and renovate the inn where they stayed.

This is more bitter than sweet for Shelby. Still reeling from the loss, she's also beset by the guilt of having come out as gay to her husband, right before the cancer diagnosis that took his life.

Grief is complex and messy and never the same for 2 people, but it's often easier to manage when you're not alone.

This was a sad and charming story.

The story of grief and guilt was so well done and the characters were so endearing. Shelby tackling her grief and identity are just heartbreaking in places. The self-doubt and need for recognition can really hit home.

If you want a lovely, but sad story, this will be worth your time to read.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a lovely story that will ease your heart. It's like a cozy cup of tea. It's about Shelby who buys an inn to fulfill her husband's dying wish, only to find out the inn is in dire state and rumored to be haunted. Shelby is in the process of coming to terms with who she is and how she's been trying to come back to herself finally after living a full life in denial. She's new in town. She has no idea how to fix or rescue the inn. She is trying to honor her husband and also step into her own. Can she do both at the same time? Is it possible to look back and look forward? Is it possible to do something for others and also yourself at the same time? Loved this sweet story.

the audio was phenomenal. highly recommended.

with gratitude to netgalley and Brilliance Audio for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review

[Miss W Book Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

Now That I Know You by Heart by Amy Hagstrom is a heartfelt novel that I really enjoyed reading.

Shelby Wright is a new widow who leaves Portland, Washington to travel to San Juan's Island to grant the wish to her dying husband. That wis is to run Captain Merrick Inn, where they had taken their honeymoon some 20 years earlier.

Shelby meets Holly who is a winemaker and has an instant connection. Shelby also meets and is taken in by a group of wonderful queer women, "The San Juan Sisters".

This was such an incredible story. I loved these characters living their authentic selves.
As a queer woman myself, I loved this story so much.

It is never too late to find out who you are.

A story of finding yourself, found family, and resilience.

Highly recommend !

[Debbie Rozier · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is all about a woman on her journey to connect to her true self after her husband dies.

The main character has suppressed her sexual preference all of her life. The read does a beautiful job of her finding her way at the same time she makes a newly purchased inn her own.

There is a wonderful secondary character that is the inn’s groundskeeper. He is young and is trying to find his identity in the world. His story is a highlight for me.

Shelby leaves her home and goes to San Juan Island, Washington. She buys an inn where she and her husband spent their honeymoon. That’s her husband’s last wish.

The inn isn’t exactly as Shelby remembers it. She
finds herself at a crossroad and we get a richly told story of her progress.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

A recently widowed woman, Shelby, comes to the San Juan Islands, to fulfill her husband's wish to run the Inn where they had honeymooned. She has recently acknowledged that she is gay and is determined to find herself even though she's not pursuing a dream she ever wanted. But this island and its people, I felt, helped her discover all that she truly is and helps her to embrace that part of herself.

I love the people of the island. Holly and her "San Juan Sisters" are integral to the new life that Shelby longs for. Ezra is the young, old soul groundskeeper/tour guide who has interesting ways to try and contact his long gone grandfather. I felt the sea and the history of the inn come off the page and made me feel that I was really there.

[Jacqueline · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author did a great job with character development and the backstory of each. The flow of the book was steady and worked well, making for a quick read. It was nice to see a story written with grief handled well and watching the main character move on in her life and work through her issues and moving forward while maintaining her sense of self. I found the character of Ezra to have an interesting way about him and how he was able to use his grief and finally move on and find the good in life thanks to Shelby helping him understand there are ways to do so without forgetting the person you loved and feeling them here without actually having to summon them from the dead.

[Dawn (noladawnreads) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed Amy Hagstrom’s debut adult book last year so when she asked me if I’d like to read her newest I jumped at the opportunity. Amy has a way of eliciting the most emotional and sincere moments within her characters.

NOW THAT I KNOW YOU BY HEART is a heartfelt journey for Shelby, newly widowed, as she fulfills her late husband’s dream of renovating the inn where they celebrated their honeymoon on San Juan Island in the PNW. Shelby is also in the midst of a late in life queer awakening and has an instant connection with wine bar owner Holly. This was beautifully written and emotional.
I loved the side characters, especially the groundskeeper, Ezra, and the queer woman who call themselves the San Juan Sisters.
The audio was narrated by Lori Prince and she gave an emotional performance.
Thank you, Amy Hagstrom, for the gifted print arc and Brilliance Publishing for the alc.
4.5

[Holly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Now That I Know You by Heart is a heartfelt and emotionally engaging story that explores love, vulnerability, and the quiet moments that shape relationships. Amy Hagstrom’s writing feels warm and sincere, drawing you into the characters’ inner lives with ease. The audiobook narration adds an extra layer of intimacy, making the emotions feel especially authentic and lived-in. While the story unfolds at a gentle pace, it allows the relationships to develop naturally, resulting in a deeply satisfying and thoughtful listening experience.

A touching and immersive audiobook that lingers after the final chapter.

Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC audiobook in exchange for an honest review.

[Tory Lindberg · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75 stars rounded up.

I was immediately drawn to this book as it had a lot of the themes I like to read about. LGBTQ+, grief, finding yourself, found family, etc. However, to me this felt more Hallmark-y as opposed to a deep dive into identity. I really wanted an intense conversation between Shelby and Beth or even one between her and Alex. Beth was supposed to be her best friend and it felt more like they were just neighbors or friends through their kids when they spoke.

I did enjoy Ezra’s character and found him to be endearing. Overall this was an easy read and one I think people will enjoy.

Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC.

[Allison · Rating 3 out of 5]

Now That I Know You by Heart is a gentle, heartfelt read that explores themes of identity, courage, and starting over. Amy Hagstrom’s writing captures the quiet beauty of personal transformation and the importance of finding your truth, even later in life. The setting adds warmth and atmosphere, and the story has an uplifting tone overall.

For me, it was solid but not extraordinary — thoughtful and tender, yet a bit predictable and slower than I hoped. Still, it’s a meaningful book for readers who enjoy character‑driven stories about self‑discovery and second chances.

[dianas_books_cars_coffee · Rating 4 out of 5]

I absolutely love this author! I fell in love with her outdoorsy thrillers and will read anything she writes! This one was different from her others and more women's fiction, but it was still really good!

Shelby Wright recently lost her husband to a brain tumor. She's moving to the San Juan Islands to fulfill his dying wish of buying and running the Captain Merrick Inn, the place where they honeymooned 20 years ago. This is a chance for her to have a fresh start and to be open about her sexuality. The feelings she's harbored her entire life are now free, but is she ready to embrace her new self, especially with all the things that need to be done to get the Inn ready to open?

A beautifully written, engaging story of one woman's journey with grief, self-discovery, healing, and belonging. It was a captivating, heartfelt, and emotional read. I really enjoyed reading Shelby's story and loved the setting of the San Juan Islands in Washington State. There were a lot of lovable characters and lots of drama, keeping me very entertained. If you're a reader of women's fiction, I most definitely recommend adding this one to your TBR🩷

[Christy Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love a good 'starting over' story, and this was a perfect book for me to kick off the new year.  I thoroughly enjoyed being along for the journey as Shelby created her new chapter. I've always loved the idea of running an inn or B&B and devoured the details as Shelby rebranded the Captain Merrick Inn. The San Juan Island was a fabulous setting, and Shelby's story made me want to visit.  Of course, the winery on the island was an added bonus for this wine lover!  The title was perfection, and Lori Prince was a great narrator.  

[Laura Prindable · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shelby has been married for 20 years when she tells her husband she is gay. Shortly after, he gets diagnosed with cancer and passed away. She decides to relocate to where they had honeymooners and actually buy the inn. This was her husband's dream. She is dealing with a lot of guilt. Almost from the start, she meets Holy and she is more than a little interested.

I loved this. 5 stars

Many thanks to Net Galley and Brilliance Publishing for an audio ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Minna Perälä · Rating 3 out of 5]

Now That I Know You By Heart was a good read (listen). Rather light despite telling a story of a young widow a year after her husband died of brain tumor. ARC/ALC received via Netgalley.

The novel is not a romance. It's a literary fiction novel about finding yourself after loss with a bit of sapphic romance on the side.

Lori Prince does excellent job narrating the novel. Her narration style works clearly really well with litfic, too.

3.5⭐

[Kitty Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

A heart-warming story about a recent widow finding her true path and gaining the self-confidence to give herself permission to follow it. Along the way we discover, along with Shelby, the joys and frustrations of building a business and get to know the community Shelby lives amongst. An enjoyable, absorbing read.

[Dawn H. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Now That I Know You By Heart is a sweet women’s fiction novel about grief, loss and healing. The themes of found family, small town and starting over are handled well. It’s an enjoyable cozy read that picked up considerably in the second half of the book. I look forward to reading more by this author.

3.5 out of 5 stars rounded up

Thanks to Netgalley and Lake Union Publishing for the eARC in exchange for my honest feedback.

[Murphy Hall · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received a free copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for a honest review.

Hold onto your hearts! The characters in this story are relatable and have just the right amount of depth and backstory. The author encompasses what it feels like to “come out”.

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the copy. I enjoyed Shelby’s story and watching her rebuild her life and find herself with a fresh start on San Juan Island. A pleasant, character-driven read.

[J R · Rating 5 out of 5]

gorgeously lyrically written book with some fantastic plotting throughout. would recommend this one. 5 stars. tysm for the arc.