Afterthoughts: or Some Pistachios Won't Open – Wisdom for the Unreflective

by Richard Ayoade

Richard Ayoade has set down his most enormous thoughts for the benefit of all those who dare read them. Thoughts like . . .


TV detectives need a gimmick. Mine would be not caring who did it.

If, when one door shuts, another door opens, there's something wrong with your doors. They shouldn't be doing that.

Where's the box to tick if you ARE a robot?

My mother used to say Manners Maketh the Man, but I didn't think it was very mannerly of her to make fun of my lisp.


Plato, Aristotle, Montaigne. Men who have searched for meaning with, let's face it, mixed results. Whither the one who can solve it? Cometh the hour, cometh the Ayoade. He brings wisdom distilled from a life lived in relentless pursuit of Truth.

Afterthoughts goes beyond rumination, past pondering, probing further than ever before, drawing from a deeply private pool of a reservoir so refreshing you may never need to think again.

Genres: Nonfiction, Humor

86 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 21, 2025

About the author

Richard Ellef Ayoade is a British comedian, film director, screenwriter, television presenter, actor, and author best known for his role as the socially awkward IT technician Maurice Moss in Channel 4 sitcom The IT Crowd, for which he won the 2014 BAFTA for Best Male Comedy Performance.

Reviews

[Allan Claydon · Rating 2 out of 5]

Feel like I'm being brutal, I find Ayoade a really funny actor and comedian. But this was bad.

I like the aphorism style of content, but there's maybe two or three in the entire book that I found interesting, and I found far fewer funny

Sorry :(

[Ria · Rating 4 out of 5]

Made me laugh out loud repeatedly, and some surprisingly astute observations amidst the dry humour.

[Gary Ashdown · Rating 2 out of 5]

So this is what pays for Christmas presents at the Ayoade household?

[Francesca Pashby · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am more than tickled by Richard Ayoade, but this is taking the piss!

Although it gave me something to read during a 45 minute pedicure, which was nice.

[rosie king · Rating 2 out of 5]

boringness and diarrhoea apparently!

love you richard but i laughed at about 8 of these im sorry

2/5💫

[Sophie Gowers · Rating 3 out of 5]

13 year old me would have LOVED this and the proceeded to write 60% of it on post it notes for my wall.

[Matt Tapp · Rating 2 out of 5]

Oh to be famous enough to be able to shit out a compilation of tweets and charge a tenner for it

[Rosa · Rating 1 out of 5]

I bought this with a distinct discount, fairly confident that this rating would be the result... It will be gifted on, have no fear. This is an absolute pile of tosh, and I don't know what infuriates me more about it: is it that he clearly doesn't give a toss? Is it that the publishers went for such an easy cash grab? Is it that this is such a waste of materials that could have happily been used to create an actually good book? Is it that people will buy this thinking it will be good because of who it's by, be disappointed, and thus be put off buying books again in future? Truly, I cannot. There are maybe three or four funny lines in this. But they are surrounded by so much dross that you might miss them, and the dark irony of some of them being so bad... I shall stop there, lest I waste any more precious time.

[Gavin Felgate · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's easiest to copy the blurb on the back of this book:

"Richard Ayoade has set down some of his most enormous thoughts for the benefit of all who dare to read them.

Thoughts like...

TV decectives need a gimmick. Mine would be not caring who did it.

If, when one door shuts, another door opens, there's something wrong with your doors. They shouldn't be doing that.

Where's the box to tick if you are a robot?

My mother used to say, 'Manners maketh the man', but I didn't think it was very mannerly of her to make fun of my lisp."

This book almost feels like a list of footnotes detached from the main text, but I enjoyed reading this. Most of the points were very relateable, though I'd maybe disagree with his agnostic views when the subject of God comes up.

Most people will recognise Richard Ayoade from the IT crowd, and this is the type of often self-deprecating humour that I've come to expect from him.

[Louna Stone · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great little book from an awesome human. Some of the things I didn't understand or took literally and had my fiancé explain to me 😅 but overall I giggled, felt validated and also had my mind opened at some of the thoughts Richard Ayoade had shared.

One I'd recommend for certain, but I'd definitely say it's not for everyone. know what to expect before buying. I knew and loved it from beginning to end.

[Oscar Dent · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some fantastic thoughts in here, but few and far between. I think I expected more.

The trouble with a book of quotes from one person is that it is nearly impossible for it not to be frequently repetitive.

Short and sweet, with some great stuff, but by no means is this brilliant or a must read. Other Ayoade publications are far better.

[Kiki · Rating 4 out of 5]

"I'll tell you what really is 'all form and no content': a form."

If this statement made you laugh, you will enjoy this book. If this statement made you groan or roll your eyes, it's not for you. I love Richard Ayoade's silly humor, but I recognize it's not for everyone. I really enjoyed the absurdity of it. 😆

[Mr Keith · Rating 2 out of 5]

why do I do this to myself?

it was a gift, but it's the sort of "book" you could spin out yourself in about 30 minutes. not especially funny, not well crafted or written.

A short waste of time with a few decent lines.

[Sophia | Chaiteasophia · Rating 2 out of 5]

a short and sweet book of quotes, a lot shorter than I expected but a nice afternoon read. Maybe not what I expected - only a select few made me pause and ponder, maybe made me chuckle and most were just rather silly.

[Emma Pite · Rating 1 out of 5]

1. I bought this because Richard Ayoade wrote it. He & his publishers are banking on you doing the same.

2. To call this phoned in is an insult to Alexander Graham Bell.

3. There are 9 blank pages at the end of this book. Why? Nobody knows and certainly nobody cares. An afterthought indeed.

[Lauren Ariail · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hilarious! Dry sense of humor, but that’s some of my favorite comedy. The best collection of thought provoking thoughts and “wisdom for the unreflective” as plainly stated. Completely off the wall yet entirely relatable at the same time.

[Tracey · Rating 3 out of 5]

I usually find Ayoade's musings funny, but this short book of thoughts didn't quite hit the mark. I wanted to find that sweet spot of belly laugh after belly laugh, but only a handful had me guffawing. sadly disappointed but won't put me off reading others.

[Imaan Iddir · Rating 2 out of 5]

Richard Ayoade is funny, but this is a dressed-up collection of tweets, not a book. They included everything that seemed mildly relevant just to pad it out a bit.
Picture a bag of pistachios, 90% of them unopenable.

[Miriam Schwellnus · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some pistachios won't open – unfortunately, a self-fulfilling prophecy that sums up this book. The best parts are the ones used to advertise it.

[Daniel Thompson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quick palate cleanser, nothing to challenging and often amusing.

[Katharina Christenson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Richard’s wit is great but I can’t help recognising Raven Smith is so much better.

[Alex Clark · Rating 2 out of 5]

I love Ayoade, but this isn't his best work.

[Kulsum · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not sure why I read this tbh?
I think Richard Ayoade is a champion of absurdist comedy, but he's just not that funny in this book.

[Leah · Rating 4 out of 5]

A laugh out loud funny book of classic Ayoade quips.

[Hannah]

"For as long as ice cream is for sale, i refuse to accept that money can't buy you happiness."

[Cat · Rating 1 out of 5]

I’m just not sure who would enjoy this?

[Takealookinsideabook · Rating 3 out of 5]

"To demean a tree is to mock on wood." 🌳

[Nashwa Shah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Chocolate, especially when melted, reminds us of the thin line between food and diarrhoea.

[Anthony Buck · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some pretty funny lines, but that really is all

[Christine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Live laugh loves quotes but from a comedian

Too more effort to read than expected but a few statements I really did love