Afterthoughts: or Some Pistachios Won't Open – Wisdom for the Unreflective

by Richard Ayoade

THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER

Richard Ayoade has set down his most enormous thoughts for the benefit of all those who dare read them. Thoughts like . . .

TV detectives need a gimmick. Mine would be not caring who did it.

If, when one door shuts, another door opens, there's something wrong with your doors. They shouldn't be doing that.

Where's the box to tick if you ARE a robot?

My mother used to say Manners Maketh the Man, but I didn't think it was very mannerly of her to make fun of my lisp.

Plato, Aristotle, Montaigne. Men who have searched for meaning with, let's face it, mixed results. Whither the one who can solve it? Cometh the hour, cometh the Ayoade. He brings wisdom distilled from a life lived in relentless pursuit of Truth.

Afterthoughts goes beyond rumination, past pondering, probing further than ever before, drawing from a deeply private pool of a reservoir so refreshing you may never need to think again.

Afterthoughts was a Sunday Times bestseller w/e 13 June

Genres: Nonfiction, Comedy, Humor, Essays, British Literature

86 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 21, 2025

About the author

Richard Ellef Ayoade is a British comedian, film director, screenwriter, television presenter, actor, and author best known for his role as the socially awkward IT technician Maurice Moss in Channel 4 sitcom The IT Crowd, for which he won the 2014 BAFTA for Best Male Comedy Performance.

Reviews

[Allan Claydon · Rating 2 out of 5]

Feel like I'm being brutal, I find Ayoade a really funny actor and comedian. But this was bad.

I like the aphorism style of content, but there's maybe two or three in the entire book that I found interesting, and I found far fewer funny

Sorry :(

[Gary Ashdown · Rating 2 out of 5]

So this is what pays for Christmas presents at the Ayoade household?

[Enfys Joy · Rating 3 out of 5]

“Clapping is basically just hitting yourself. That’s how much we dislike the success of others.”

[Matt Tapp · Rating 2 out of 5]

Oh to be famous enough to be able to shit out a compilation of tweets and charge a tenner for it

[Ria · Rating 4 out of 5]

Made me laugh out loud repeatedly, and some surprisingly astute observations amidst the dry humour.

[rosie king · Rating 2 out of 5]

boringness and diarrhoea apparently!

love you richard but i laughed at about 8 of these im sorry

2/5💫

[Brittney Gonzalez · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ll read whatever this guy puts out.

[Alana · Rating 3 out of 5]

38. I asked Dad for a fish, but instead of giving me a fish, he said that he would teach me to fish; that way I'd always be able to feed myself. 'When?' I said. 'Now,' he said. 'Where?' I said. "The sea,' he said. 'But the sea is so far away,' I said. 'Get in the truck,' he said. ‘I'll explain the basics as we go.’ I was so hungry I found it hard to concentrate, and by the time we were on the water it was getting pretty dark, but he said he wasn't going to let either of us leave the catamaran until we caught something. It was the next morning before we snagged a tiny eel that looked like it had emerged from Satan's own anus. I was delirious with hunger and ready to eat it raw, but Dad said we couldn't: eel blood is poisonous. Then he said I would never amount to anything because I didn't understand people. He wasn't always the best dad, come to think of it.

i have such an unrepentant crush on him

[Kiera · Rating 3 out of 5]

pretty funny and classic ayoade humour

[babygoblin · Rating 3 out of 5]

I got this book signed by Richard, he was a really kind guy and took a photo with me 🥲

[Courtney Scales · Rating 4.5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this! If you thought you were going to laugh out loud at every turn, then no, it isn’t the book for you. But getting an insight into such a literal, unfiltered mind scratches an itch in a primitive part of my brain. It was unapologetic. An insight into his mind and it might not be for everyone’s enjoyment.

[Francesca Pashby · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am more than tickled by Richard Ayoade, but this is taking the piss!

Although it gave me something to read during a 45 minute pedicure, which was nice.

[Maaike]

Het schuurt om Ayoades werk niet goed te vinden want dat is het, ongetwijfeld. Maar dit format... Daar had ik meer van verwacht.
Al zitten er dan verdorie goede oneliners bij.

[Sophie Gowers · Rating 3 out of 5]

13 year old me would have LOVED this and the proceeded to write 60% of it on post it notes for my wall.

[Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

"I prefer the reality of fiction."

Witty and insightful!

[Molly · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn't find it funny enough to plan on picking it up again. Just not my taste.

[Jed Richardson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Two words Very weird.

[Rosa · Rating 1 out of 5]

I bought this with a distinct discount, fairly confident that this rating would be the result... It will be gifted on, have no fear. This is an absolute pile of tosh, and I don't know what infuriates me more about it: is it that he clearly doesn't give a toss? Is it that the publishers went for such an easy cash grab? Is it that this is such a waste of materials that could have happily been used to create an actually good book? Is it that people will buy this thinking it will be good because of who it's by, be disappointed, and thus be put off buying books again in future? Truly, I cannot. There are maybe three or four funny lines in this. But they are surrounded by so much dross that you might miss them, and the dark irony of some of them being so bad... I shall stop there, lest I waste any more precious time.

[Kathryn · Rating 2 out of 5]

To quote the author himself, maybe the book is letting the cover down.

[Imaan Iddir · Rating 2 out of 5]

Richard Ayoade is funny, but this is a dressed-up collection of tweets, not a book. They included everything that seemed mildly relevant just to pad it out a bit.
Picture a bag of pistachios, 90% of them unopenable.

[Jake Parkman · Rating 3 out of 5]

That is some light comedy my friend, expect to chuckle every so often

[Dee · Rating 4 out of 5]

A four-star read, and hilariously silly with it. I haven't read anything written in this sort of way before — I'm not sure I've read anything by a comedian at all. Well, that's a lie: I've read a lot of Russell Brand, but the less said about that, the better.

This is a charming, funny, genuinely thought-provoking collection of statements, musings and ponderings, if you will. Essentially it's a book of little observations on society and how we work, how we think, how we operate. I'm a big fan of Ayoade and have recently watched him on Last One Laughing — his delivery is impeccable in everything he does. What I love about him is that you never quite know which is the persona put on for television and stand-up and which is the man, and this book doesn't uncover that either. If anything, I came out of it thinking the two are far more closely related, less a performance than I'd assumed.

It's utterly charming and completely hilarious, and in places quite biting. It did provoke a few moments of reflection — the odd oh, that was a sharp observation. He's witty, he's acerbic, and he's silly and daft, which are my favourite sorts of comedian. I'd recommend it to anyone who needs pulling out of a slump: a few pages of joy each day. Thoroughly enjoyed.

[Ricardo Shimoda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book to read and re-read - and maybe underline some of the reflections - while all of them are humorous in nature, showing another surprising perspective of mundane life - some can lead to thoughts that trigger changes, transforms the reader and the way they see the world.

The dry and sarcastic nature of some thoughts helps a lot to infuse the normal drama of everyday life with some comedic wit thus making even queueing in the cold, freezing rain for an undesired event (such as I had to do recently) an opportunity to observe and enjoy the shared suffering of everyone in that instant community in the same line with the same purpose.

That said, I really recommend that this book should be read in small sprints - using more than 10 minutes at a time might transform the reader so much that, all of a sudden, instead of seeing things with the lively lens of comedy, they might start seeing everything with the dark lens of tragedy - or maybe that's my transitions lenses that are finally working.

[Gavin Felgate · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's easiest to copy the blurb on the back of this book:

"Richard Ayoade has set down some of his most enormous thoughts for the benefit of all who dare to read them.

Thoughts like...

TV decectives need a gimmick. Mine would be not caring who did it.

If, when one door shuts, another door opens, there's something wrong with your doors. They shouldn't be doing that.

Where's the box to tick if you are a robot?

My mother used to say, 'Manners maketh the man', but I didn't think it was very mannerly of her to make fun of my lisp."

This book almost feels like a list of footnotes detached from the main text, but I enjoyed reading this. Most of the points were very relateable, though I'd maybe disagree with his agnostic views when the subject of God comes up.

Most people will recognise Richard Ayoade from the IT crowd, and this is the type of often self-deprecating humour that I've come to expect from him.

[Charlie St-St · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a gorgeous book for my bookshelf (actually it’s probably more of a coffee table feature) & I’m very happy to have a signed copy, but it’s difficult not to agree with other reviews that it seems like a quick “cash in” project. There are a few repeated points which makes me think it was thrown together quite quickly, & also the structure of these hundreds of random thoughts could be so much better.

I giggled quite a few times (see below) & there were some great insights to Ayoade’s brilliant mind. But ultimately I just can’t justify more than 3 stars, especially comparing it with other recent reads.

“There's something pessimistic about progressivism. To say things can keep getting better might be to imply nothing is ever good enough.”

“The word 'mostly' emphasises the exception.”

“No one has a crueller master than the self-employed.”

“Never, in my whole life, have I met a circle that's even slightly vicious.”

[Isabella Reeves · Rating 3 out of 5]

My favourites (aka the only ones I chuckled at):
• “a thought is as real as a bullet, and even harder to remove from your head”
• “it’s such a privilege to live in this country, but it’s not the kind of privilege that feels good to share” :(
• “cold hands can also mean a stopped heart”
• “just remember: 'The pen is mightier than the sword' is just something someone wrote.
Probably some nerd whom you could crush like a cheese puff.”
• “medical check-ups should be called pre-mortems” admittedly, this one got me more than it should have
• “the word ‘mostly’ emphasises the exception”
• “in fact, we should call famous people the celebritariat” the sociology student in me appreciated this

I love Richard, and pistachios, hence why I picked up this boom. I needed something light after reading Cosmos.

[Martyn Perry · Rating 2.5 out of 5]

1. This is the first time I’ve ever had the privilege of being able to select a half star, and it’s glorious!
2. The book isn’t quite as glorious
3. They say when you find yourself in darkness, instead of complaining, light a candle. But what if you were trying to tell people you could smell gas?

Recommended?: if you can enjoy reading 100 pages numbered statements, some humorous, some less so, then this will be an interesting and quirky read.

I’m not sure what I was expecting, but after reading Ayoade’s superb cinematic odyssey and a view from on top books, this one unfortunately pales in comparison. The first 5 pages are the strongest where there’s actually some narrative, and it’s funny. But then it becomes relentless bullet points with more misses than hits. Overall It’s ok. But a very light word count and no rhythm make this more a curio-so than essential reading.

[David Catney]

“It’s important to give back, but not so much that we lose our position of dominance.”


“Just remember: ‘The pen is mightier than the sword’ is just something someone wrote. Probably some nerd whom you could crush like a cheese puff.”


“Before he died, I just wanted my father to acknowledge that I didn’t need his approval, and that that ought to count for something, but they couldn’t resuscitate him in time.”


“If I were a singer, I’d start each new song by saying, ‘If music is the food of love, love’s going hungry.’ And then I’d make the sound of a power sander.”


“Nowadays, the word ‘crazy’ carries an understandable stigma. But how else can we describe the sheer scale of these discounts?”


“Simply put, racism places unnecessary parameters on one’s misanthropy. Why limit your hatred?”


“Why isn’t everyone else panicking on my behalf?”

[Lauren Quebedeaux · Rating 5 out of 5]

Richard Ayoado can make me laugh out loud (in a way that really annoys my husband) with wry pearls (turds?) of "wisdom for the unreflective." His proverbs can be silly or sincere, or occasionally both. These upside-down axioms are a quick and frankly funny read with gems such as...

#36 - It's very important to listen to people, but we must never underestimate the joy of ignoring them.

#107 - Being early is a waste of my time.

#24 - It's hard to say 'sorry', especially with a straight face.

#25 - 'Sorry' isn't hard to say, it's just hard to mean.

And so on.

The brilliant bastard

[Becky Nelson · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was such a fun compilation of ruminations, packed with an exquisite assortment of dry humor combined with genuine philosophical provocations. The speedy read and accessible format make it remarkably easy to dive in and out of at leisure.

​Having purchased this at Richard Ayoade's book tour, I feel that the overall live experience greatly elevates the book itself, which, if read in total isolation, might have had less of an impact. Hearing his distinct voice in my head ensured that every line of his signature delivery truly landed!