What do you think?
Love Your Neighbor: How Psychology Can Enliven Faith and Transform Community
Discover how science can shed new light on one of Scripture's greatest commands—and transform your community one relationship at a time.
The biblical call to "love your neighbor" echoes through centuries, yet remains one of Christianity's most profound—and challenging—practices. In this innovative synthesis of practical theology and psychological science, professors Katherine M. Douglass and Brittany M. Tausen bring ancient wisdom from Scripture and cutting-edge research into a conversation that can revolutionize how you build meaningful connections.
Pulling from their respective areas of expertise, Douglass and Tausen illuminate the psychological pathways and spiritual practices that activate neighbor love. Through engaging stories and evidence-based insights, they reveal why human connection often falters—and provide actionable strategies to overcome these barriers.
Each chapter pairs illuminating research with practical exercises that readers can implement immediately, creating ripples of connection that extend far beyond their immediate circles.
Love Your Neighbor doesn't just explain the biblical command—it empowers you to live it. Ideal for personal growth, small groups, or community-wide initiatives, this essential resource will help you love better and cultivate more Christlike ways of living in community.
- GenresSpirituality
240 pages, Paperback
Published January 15, 2026
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
January 17, 2026
Practical, accessible, and insightful. I appreciated the emphasis on real-life application throughout the book and I think anyone, especially small groups and Christian leaders, looking to be encouraged and challenged to love their neighbor more effectively will benefit from reading and reflecting.
May 14, 2026
The second of the greatest commandments speaks of loving our neighbors. But what does that mean in practice? How might we actually love our neighbors, who might include people who don't live next door or share much in common with us? What might psychology have to say about all of this? These are the questions that often arise and can prove challenging. Nevertheless, these are questions worth attending to.
Katherine Douglass and Brittany Tausen, both of whom have backgrounds in psychology and ministry, address the question of how we might love our neighbors and how that love might enliven our faith and transform the communities we inhabit. In other words, Douglass and Tausen bring science into the conversation of our relationships as Christians. Douglass brings her background as a professor of educational ministry and practical theology to the conversation, while Tausen brings her background as a professor of social psychology, seeking to answer the questions of why we struggle to love our neighbors and how we might love better. In organizing the fourteen chapters of their book, the authors start with a section focused on "Learning with Psychology," followed by a section titled "Thinking Theologically." Finally, they offer a section on "Living Faithfully." With these three sections providing structure to the discussion, we hear from psychology and theology, before putting things together so we can think about how we might live into the call to love our neighbors. As good teachers, the authors invite readers to test out ideas and concepts along the way. They even include a brief quiz in the Introduction to test our knowledge of the psychology of helping behaviors and social connections.
Douglass and Tausen divide the fourteen chapters in the book into three parts. In Part One, which they title "When Circumstances Get in the Way of Loving Your Neighbor," they invite us to consider the challenges that face us as we seek to love our neighbors. They start by addressing the need of "Noticing Your Neighbor" (Chapter 1). One of the points here is a reminder that not only might the neighbor not live next door, but the neighbor we're called to love may not be similar to us. Chapter 2 is titled "Hurrying Less." They remind us that one of the reasons we fail to notice our neighbors is that we are hurrying about, incapable of noticing others. The third chapter is titled somewhat interestingly: "Decluttering Mental and Physical Space." The focus here is on the many distractions that get in the way of our relationships, including constant meetings, phones, and even watches. So, we're invited to set things away so we can attend to who is important. The final chapter in this section is titled: "Assuming Responsibility, Even When It's Not Your Fault." Here, they focus on the "bystander effect," where people stand by assuming they are not responsible for addressing situations before them. Perhaps it is our responsibility.
Having lifted up the circumstances that get in the way of loving our neighbor, we move in Part Two to "When Thoughts and Feelings Get in the Way of Loving Your Neighbor." So, here the focus is on our inner person and how that gets in the way of loving our neighbors. They begin by discussing "Giving Others the Benefit of Doubt" (Chapter 5). Feelings about actions on the part of others can inhibit our engagement with them, so giving a person the benefit of the doubt can help move past those kinds of barriers. In an age when we've become increasingly polarized, Chapter 6 is important: "Recognizing Everyone's Full Humanity." Affirming the premise that our neighbors near and far are created in the image of God can ameliorate some of the barriers we erect. So can "Letting Go of Contempt" (Chapter 7). Contempt often leads to dehumanizing others, so addressing this can help move toward loving others, since, as they note, "Contempt toward others predicts how likely you are to harm them" (p. 103). Following up on that feeling, we move to "Letting Go of a Scarcity Mindset" (Chapter 8). When we fear that there is not enough to go around, we close ourselves off to the needs of others. Letting go of that fear allows us to imagine God's abundance, which is necessary to love others. They conclude this section on feelings and thoughts that hinder love of neighbors with a chapter titled "Being Open to Thinking Again" (Chapter 9). In this chapter, they invite us to examine our core beliefs about life, ourselves, and others, as well as God. They write that "for Christians, our beliefs are held deeply, so deeply that we sometimes prioritize them over the command to love" (p. 137). So maybe we will need to change our priorities, even if that requires thinking again about our core beliefs.
The final Section is titled "Choosing to Love Better." Now it's time to begin putting into practice the command to love our neighbors. Douglass and Tausen start with a chapter titled "Treating Every Place Like Home" (Chapter 10). If we're going to love our "neighbors," then expanding what we consider home will be necessary. This is becoming increasingly important in the age of residential mobility, such that connection to place influences how we view our neighbors. The next step involves "Strengthening Your Empathy Muscles" (Chapter 11). This is an interesting chapter since in some Christian circles empathy has become a dirty word, but if we're to embrace Jesus' command to love, we'll need to strengthen our empathy for others. As they point out, "empathy is really all about love, letting our hearts hurt or break with the pain of others, not just our own pain" (p. 169). The Epistle of James calls on us to "Be Quick to listen, slow to speak." This is not easy for some of us, but in Chapter 12, they call on us to embrace "Talking Less and Listening More." Following up the call to listen rather than talk, they speak of "Embracing the Power of Your Presence" (Chapter 13). That is, there is power in showing up and being with people, which can reduce the pain that others suffer. This is an act of love, just showing up and being present. The final chapter is titled "Persisting When You Are Being Treated Poorly" (Chapter 14). This does not mean being a doormat, but pushing through obstacles will be necessary to truly love our neighbors.
They conclude their book addressing "Being Who God Made You to Be." Here, they affirm the gifts and calling that we each have as members of the body of Christ. Bringing who we are to our relationships is important. As we learn in this book, drawing on psychology and theology, loving our neighbors can be challenging, but there are ways of mitigating those challenges, even if we don't follow through perfectly. Part of the process involves affirming the premise that we are all created in the image of God.
Katherine Douglass and Brittany Tausen, both of whom have backgrounds in psychology and ministry, address the question of how we might love our neighbors and how that love might enliven our faith and transform the communities we inhabit. In other words, Douglass and Tausen bring science into the conversation of our relationships as Christians. Douglass brings her background as a professor of educational ministry and practical theology to the conversation, while Tausen brings her background as a professor of social psychology, seeking to answer the questions of why we struggle to love our neighbors and how we might love better. In organizing the fourteen chapters of their book, the authors start with a section focused on "Learning with Psychology," followed by a section titled "Thinking Theologically." Finally, they offer a section on "Living Faithfully." With these three sections providing structure to the discussion, we hear from psychology and theology, before putting things together so we can think about how we might live into the call to love our neighbors. As good teachers, the authors invite readers to test out ideas and concepts along the way. They even include a brief quiz in the Introduction to test our knowledge of the psychology of helping behaviors and social connections.
Douglass and Tausen divide the fourteen chapters in the book into three parts. In Part One, which they title "When Circumstances Get in the Way of Loving Your Neighbor," they invite us to consider the challenges that face us as we seek to love our neighbors. They start by addressing the need of "Noticing Your Neighbor" (Chapter 1). One of the points here is a reminder that not only might the neighbor not live next door, but the neighbor we're called to love may not be similar to us. Chapter 2 is titled "Hurrying Less." They remind us that one of the reasons we fail to notice our neighbors is that we are hurrying about, incapable of noticing others. The third chapter is titled somewhat interestingly: "Decluttering Mental and Physical Space." The focus here is on the many distractions that get in the way of our relationships, including constant meetings, phones, and even watches. So, we're invited to set things away so we can attend to who is important. The final chapter in this section is titled: "Assuming Responsibility, Even When It's Not Your Fault." Here, they focus on the "bystander effect," where people stand by assuming they are not responsible for addressing situations before them. Perhaps it is our responsibility.
Having lifted up the circumstances that get in the way of loving our neighbor, we move in Part Two to "When Thoughts and Feelings Get in the Way of Loving Your Neighbor." So, here the focus is on our inner person and how that gets in the way of loving our neighbors. They begin by discussing "Giving Others the Benefit of Doubt" (Chapter 5). Feelings about actions on the part of others can inhibit our engagement with them, so giving a person the benefit of the doubt can help move past those kinds of barriers. In an age when we've become increasingly polarized, Chapter 6 is important: "Recognizing Everyone's Full Humanity." Affirming the premise that our neighbors near and far are created in the image of God can ameliorate some of the barriers we erect. So can "Letting Go of Contempt" (Chapter 7). Contempt often leads to dehumanizing others, so addressing this can help move toward loving others, since, as they note, "Contempt toward others predicts how likely you are to harm them" (p. 103). Following up on that feeling, we move to "Letting Go of a Scarcity Mindset" (Chapter 8). When we fear that there is not enough to go around, we close ourselves off to the needs of others. Letting go of that fear allows us to imagine God's abundance, which is necessary to love others. They conclude this section on feelings and thoughts that hinder love of neighbors with a chapter titled "Being Open to Thinking Again" (Chapter 9). In this chapter, they invite us to examine our core beliefs about life, ourselves, and others, as well as God. They write that "for Christians, our beliefs are held deeply, so deeply that we sometimes prioritize them over the command to love" (p. 137). So maybe we will need to change our priorities, even if that requires thinking again about our core beliefs.
The final Section is titled "Choosing to Love Better." Now it's time to begin putting into practice the command to love our neighbors. Douglass and Tausen start with a chapter titled "Treating Every Place Like Home" (Chapter 10). If we're going to love our "neighbors," then expanding what we consider home will be necessary. This is becoming increasingly important in the age of residential mobility, such that connection to place influences how we view our neighbors. The next step involves "Strengthening Your Empathy Muscles" (Chapter 11). This is an interesting chapter since in some Christian circles empathy has become a dirty word, but if we're to embrace Jesus' command to love, we'll need to strengthen our empathy for others. As they point out, "empathy is really all about love, letting our hearts hurt or break with the pain of others, not just our own pain" (p. 169). The Epistle of James calls on us to "Be Quick to listen, slow to speak." This is not easy for some of us, but in Chapter 12, they call on us to embrace "Talking Less and Listening More." Following up the call to listen rather than talk, they speak of "Embracing the Power of Your Presence" (Chapter 13). That is, there is power in showing up and being with people, which can reduce the pain that others suffer. This is an act of love, just showing up and being present. The final chapter is titled "Persisting When You Are Being Treated Poorly" (Chapter 14). This does not mean being a doormat, but pushing through obstacles will be necessary to truly love our neighbors.
They conclude their book addressing "Being Who God Made You to Be." Here, they affirm the gifts and calling that we each have as members of the body of Christ. Bringing who we are to our relationships is important. As we learn in this book, drawing on psychology and theology, loving our neighbors can be challenging, but there are ways of mitigating those challenges, even if we don't follow through perfectly. Part of the process involves affirming the premise that we are all created in the image of God.
January 19, 2026
"Consider how you are being called to invest wherever you are by getting to know the names of neighbors, spreading flower petals, or digging deep wells... And if, or more likely when, you begin to think about moving to the next place, you might even stop to ask yourself the questions, 'What would it look like to stay?' and 'What can I do to dig a deep well if I go?'" (pp 157-158)
This book was a deeply thought-provoking and inspiring read for this moment in our increasingly polarized and hyper-mobile nation. Whether you are a part of a small community or a large one, urban or rural, you will find something to challenge your understanding of how we are called to see, care for, listen to and love our neighbors. I found the psychological and theological perspectives provided balance and clarity to each chapter, giving two sides of the "why" before a brief section called Living Faithfully gave practical application for the "how" of loving those around us. I am still pondering what it means to see and engage with the people I encounter daily, how I can be a better neighbor and more intentional about putting myself in places where I can show care, hospitality and the humanizing love of Christ to others.
Thank you, Douglass and Tausen, for this incisive and timely book!
This book was a deeply thought-provoking and inspiring read for this moment in our increasingly polarized and hyper-mobile nation. Whether you are a part of a small community or a large one, urban or rural, you will find something to challenge your understanding of how we are called to see, care for, listen to and love our neighbors. I found the psychological and theological perspectives provided balance and clarity to each chapter, giving two sides of the "why" before a brief section called Living Faithfully gave practical application for the "how" of loving those around us. I am still pondering what it means to see and engage with the people I encounter daily, how I can be a better neighbor and more intentional about putting myself in places where I can show care, hospitality and the humanizing love of Christ to others.
Thank you, Douglass and Tausen, for this incisive and timely book!
February 13, 2026
I appreciate the format, the structure in which the content is presented. Easy to read. Interesting tasks and invitations for self-reflection are included. Like having a workbook or mini journal all in the pages of one book.
I most enjoyed the "Thinking Theologically" section of each chapter. I was enticed to open my Bible and reread passages and stories as I read through the material presented in the book.
The personal stories the authors share give good real-life examples that help the topic of each chapter sink in deeply.
The concluding chapter is a thoughtful call to action to love our neighbors better.
I most enjoyed the "Thinking Theologically" section of each chapter. I was enticed to open my Bible and reread passages and stories as I read through the material presented in the book.
The personal stories the authors share give good real-life examples that help the topic of each chapter sink in deeply.
The concluding chapter is a thoughtful call to action to love our neighbors better.
September 6, 2026
Summary: The psychological pathways and spiritual practices informed by scripture that activate neighbor love.
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these. (Mark 12:30-31, NIV)
Two simple commands that sum up the life of a Christian disciple. Clear. But challenging enough to engage us for a lifetime in keeping them. This book focuses on the second of these, how we love the real neighbors in our lives. It addresses the gap between our aspirations and the reality of our practice. Written by a social psychologist and a practical theologian, it brings together both psychological and biblical insights that help us turn aspirations into action, potential into practice.
The book is broken into three parts. The first explores the circumstances that get in the way of loving neighbors. Some of this is knowing who our neighbors are, which I appreciated. I recently realized I don’t even know the names of many of our nearby neighbors. Then we are often in too much of a hurry, not unlike the two religious leaders with the man by the side of the road. Likewise, we may be on overload from both physical activity and mental distractions like our devices. So, we may need some silence and stillness in our lives. Finally, when there are many others who could love, we fall prey to “the bystander effect” instead of taking personal responsibility when we see a need.
But sometimes what we think and feel about our neighbors gets in the way of loving them. The second part addresses this challenge. Firstly, practicing giving the benefit of the doubt helps us deal with negative first impressions. Often, we pigeonhole and dehumanize people. So, personal encounters help us discover the full humanity of others. But sometimes our dehumanizing leads to contempt. This chapter reminded me of the young man in our neighborhood whose loud exhaust and fast driving disturbs me day and night. At the authors’ suggestion, I’ve begun praying for him each time I hear his car. It helps!
Then sometimes our sense of scarcity keeps us from loving. We start seeing life as a zero sum game, where whatever I give is loss for me and gain for another. Instead, we are invited to learn to trust God’s care for us and that there will be enough to go around. Finally, our unquestioned beliefs may get in the ways of helping others in the form of confirmation bias. The authors challenge us to question and explore and think about our unquestioned beliefs about others.
The third section gets into ways we may choose to love better. In a mobile society, they encourage us to treat every place we live as home, a place where we invest. They invite us to grow in listening with empathy, as well as talking less in order to listen. Then, there are many times where simply being present, especially to someone in pain is the most loving thing we can do. Finally, despite our efforts, people may still treat us poorly. Rather than retaliate, the authors explore how we might keep showing up, sustained by prayer and affirmations of our worth.
Each chapter consists of three parts including insights from psychology, theological insights that parallel these, and very practical strategies for living these out faithfully. What I appreciated is that the parallel insights do not seem forced, as has been the case at times when writers try combine psychology and scripture. And they offer very practical strategies.
Our church, a neighborhood church, has been learning to know and love our neighbors, beginning with knowing them by name. I’m going to suggest that our governance team get the book and read it to think about going deeper into neighbor love. I’d recommend it for other leaders groups as well. And any individual or group may profit from reading and practicing what’s here. After all, it just takes us into deeper obedience to the command of Jesus to love our neighbors.
_____________
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher for review.
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these. (Mark 12:30-31, NIV)
Two simple commands that sum up the life of a Christian disciple. Clear. But challenging enough to engage us for a lifetime in keeping them. This book focuses on the second of these, how we love the real neighbors in our lives. It addresses the gap between our aspirations and the reality of our practice. Written by a social psychologist and a practical theologian, it brings together both psychological and biblical insights that help us turn aspirations into action, potential into practice.
The book is broken into three parts. The first explores the circumstances that get in the way of loving neighbors. Some of this is knowing who our neighbors are, which I appreciated. I recently realized I don’t even know the names of many of our nearby neighbors. Then we are often in too much of a hurry, not unlike the two religious leaders with the man by the side of the road. Likewise, we may be on overload from both physical activity and mental distractions like our devices. So, we may need some silence and stillness in our lives. Finally, when there are many others who could love, we fall prey to “the bystander effect” instead of taking personal responsibility when we see a need.
But sometimes what we think and feel about our neighbors gets in the way of loving them. The second part addresses this challenge. Firstly, practicing giving the benefit of the doubt helps us deal with negative first impressions. Often, we pigeonhole and dehumanize people. So, personal encounters help us discover the full humanity of others. But sometimes our dehumanizing leads to contempt. This chapter reminded me of the young man in our neighborhood whose loud exhaust and fast driving disturbs me day and night. At the authors’ suggestion, I’ve begun praying for him each time I hear his car. It helps!
Then sometimes our sense of scarcity keeps us from loving. We start seeing life as a zero sum game, where whatever I give is loss for me and gain for another. Instead, we are invited to learn to trust God’s care for us and that there will be enough to go around. Finally, our unquestioned beliefs may get in the ways of helping others in the form of confirmation bias. The authors challenge us to question and explore and think about our unquestioned beliefs about others.
The third section gets into ways we may choose to love better. In a mobile society, they encourage us to treat every place we live as home, a place where we invest. They invite us to grow in listening with empathy, as well as talking less in order to listen. Then, there are many times where simply being present, especially to someone in pain is the most loving thing we can do. Finally, despite our efforts, people may still treat us poorly. Rather than retaliate, the authors explore how we might keep showing up, sustained by prayer and affirmations of our worth.
Each chapter consists of three parts including insights from psychology, theological insights that parallel these, and very practical strategies for living these out faithfully. What I appreciated is that the parallel insights do not seem forced, as has been the case at times when writers try combine psychology and scripture. And they offer very practical strategies.
Our church, a neighborhood church, has been learning to know and love our neighbors, beginning with knowing them by name. I’m going to suggest that our governance team get the book and read it to think about going deeper into neighbor love. I’d recommend it for other leaders groups as well. And any individual or group may profit from reading and practicing what’s here. After all, it just takes us into deeper obedience to the command of Jesus to love our neighbors.
_____________
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher for review.
January 21, 2026
We know intellectually and in our hearts that the world needs more love and less hate, but how do get started practically? The authors take a realistic view of how our communities are formed and how people behave to offer very reasonable and practical "hacks" to spreading more love in our daily, busy lives. When you know why you're not friends with certain people, what effects dehumanization has on a society, and the benefits of setting your alarm five minutes earlier - suddenly being a better neighbor seems attainable. I'm grateful for this faithful and actionable book and will continue to recommend it to people who want to do a little better at bringing more joy into the world.
January 22, 2026
I pride myself on being a "rapid responder" to virtual communications. And yet. I have been increasingly aware that the nonstop, haptic feedback of my phone, watch, and headset was interrupting my ability to work and be fully present with others. The chapter "Decluttering Physical and Mental Space" was compelling such that spent a few minutes with my devices to "turn down the squelch" so that I can better attend to the person (or task) that is in front of me.
January 29, 2026
This book, written by two of my colleagues, is one I will return to again and again. It's part workbook, with helpful images, charts to fill out, and questions to answer. It's part devotional and discipleship resource, with biblical texts and illustrative stories from the real world. The authors' are so honest about how and why it is hard to love, without shaming, and they also encourage and exhort us to love better, believing that loving our neighbors is something we can and must do.
January 23, 2026
This book explores the possibility of a better world. It is a well-written guide offering practical ways we can all make simple changes in our daily lives to better recognize and embrace our communities. It is concise, relatable and inspiring.
August 12, 2026
The authors provided a great balance between psychology and theology.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews