I Don't Want To Settle: Words for a lost generation

by Dan Whitlam

If you feel like you're running out of time, if you're grieving a relationship or worried you haven't yet experienced one, if you're falling in love, if you're unsure what to do with your life or if you're making the right decisions, if you find yourself comparing your milestones to everyone else's, if you feel weighed down by the pressure to succeed, if you feel like you're growing one day but feel stuck the next, if you're finding yourself or if you feel lost...

this is a poetry collection for you.

Featuring an array of personal reflections, illustrations, never-before-seen poems and much-loved viral hits, I Don't Want To Settle is a candid and relatable companion for growth and healing.

Genres: Poetry, Self Help

175 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 4, 2025

Reviews

[aleena]

Really needed to read this book right now, thank you Sazzy ❤️

[Beatriz Bruxelas]

Cute book. A diary of a young man in poems.

[Belle]

A few of my fav lines:

“Further along than you thought, even if it’s just a step or two
A better you
who lets you do whatever’s best for you”

-

“I don’t want to settle.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and speak it slow that I’m special.”

-

“I want the type of self-love
where you can look in the mirror and say:
I want to grow old with you.”

[Francisco Valente]

4.5*

It’s always fascinating and intriguing - almost uncanny - when someone can describe what you’re feeling in a way you could never yourself, especially when they do so with such beautiful words.

[Frida Sjöberg]

Truly loved this one.

Dan Whitlam is truly a wordsmith, he’s got a way with words that just hit right where it should.

Randomly stumbled upon him a few months ago and have had periods I’ve listened to his spoken poetry on Spotify for days straight. Can highly recommend!!

5 stars

[angelpompom]

There’s nothing better than poetry you feel in your bones🤍


I hate that photographs
now tell me all I've lost

rather than all I've had.📸

[Beatriz Artilheiro]

Honestly such a good read. I’ve fallen in love with spoken word and Dan Whitlam over a year ago. He never fails to put into words what I feel and think in such a beautiful and kind way. Recommend!

[Chrissy]

There are no words for my love for Dan's writing. It hits, it hurts but it also heals.

[Lieke Bisschops]

“But then everyone says it will get better with time
A cruel irony cos
The thing about time is
It takes time.”

“I want you to love me
But
Tell me how you love yourself first.
I want you to ask my about my day
But first
Tell me about yours.”

“You like to stand in rain.
No one there can see you cry.

Sometimes the darkest skies
Comfort the hardest goodbyes.”

These are just a fraction of quotes from a combination of poems written about love, growing up, grief and healing. Dan Whitlam is a true wordsmith and the words in his poems carry a sense of warmth and intimacy.

[Ineke]

4.5 stars, rounded up to five when considering this is the author's first book.

I discovered Dan Whitlam on Instagram as I was going through some, ah, emotional turmoil of my own. I was absolutely moved by his voice but also by the way he manages to captures such profound emotions within his poems.

I wasn't quite sure how his words would work on a page, without his voice to accompany them, but I needn't have worried. It is so easy to imagine him saying those words out loud to you and even if you don't do that, most poems easily hold their own. There were a few poems that didn't manage to move me like the others but that's the great thing about poetry; I could imagine them moving someone else who has different life experiences.

I also loved the bits of prose that gave some insight into the author, his life, and what drives him. Absolutely recommended even if you, like me, weren't that much into poetry before.

[Yoyo]

Some reflections:

I like that he says his poetry is by no means close to perfect - not as a criticism, but because I think the imperfections are what give this collection its humanness. Some pages sound less poetic than others, but perhaps it is the life they are written about that makes them poetic.

I like how he illustrates love, longing, grief, and hope in a way that isn’t particularly profound, but that highlights our shared thoughts and feelings as both strangers and fellow human beings.

I like that the thoughts are penned in a way that feels fleeting, as if they themselves know they will change over time as we grow.

The overwhelming feeling is one of being lost and sad, yet slowly finding yourself within that, and learning to hold onto comfort and joy in the smallest of things. It reflects a deeply relatable sense of incompleteness. A sense of chasing the approval of family, friends, romantic partners, and society in an attempt to fill that emptiness, only to eventually settle into something quieter and more inward. Perhaps this is a reflection of the undeniable way human hearts were created with eternity set within, needing something far greater than ourselves. The final poem concludes with him describing himself as very lucky, which reminds me of how very blessed I am.

Miscellaneous observations (in no particular order):
- White wine is mentioned twice - both in relation to women drinking it.
- He either drinks far too much Beaujolais or spends too much time thinking about drinking it because of how the word rolls off the tongue. Like Taylor Swift rhyming ‘car’ with ‘bar’!
- He watches ‘Friends’ often - same.

[Michelle Harrington]

AUDIO BOOK BORROW BOX

Throughly enjoyed, again listening too on waking in the night, however rewound frequently so feel certain I heard most of it.

He has a lovely lyrically voice which I enjoyed. The subject matters made me think of my in their 20’s daughter, and anticipating this is how they sometimes feel.

Will look out for more spoken word

[Amy]

I was expecting to love this one. I follow the author on IG, and his spoken poetry is amazing. And a couple of the poems in this book did indeed really speak to me, but in general, it fell flat for me.

[Ciara]

Devoured this in a day - loved how he wrote explanations and anecdotes to why he wrote certain parts. Not just a pretty TikTok worthy book, very deep writing too

[Sophie]

Dan Whitlam’s beautiful words are the most soothing melody

[Jade]

Gorgeous book, everything about it is immaculate. If anybody should read a book it’s this one because we can all relate

[Irena Ivanova]

Touching. Comforting book in every one sadness.

[Kira Drake]

a comfort read to feel a little less alone in your 20s

[Shan]

3.75

[King Hadgo]

Quote “Maybe it’s not about improvement
Maybe it’s about the continuation.”

[Antonina]

"It's a false thought to young minds
Irony of being in your twenties
But feeling like you're running out of time"

[Douglas Kendyson]

Moving.

[Savannah Stuermer]

3.5 stars

[Jess]

I really liked this. It had some powerful moments & quotes that resonated with me. This is definitely a book I would buy and gift to others

[Janette Chung]

i'll read anything written by dan