I Don't Want To Settle: Words for a lost generation

by Dan Whitlam

If you feel like you're running out of time, if you're grieving a relationship or worried you haven't yet experienced one, if you're falling in love, if you're unsure what to do with your life or if you're making the right decisions, if you find yourself comparing your milestones to everyone else's, if you feel weighed down by the pressure to succeed, if you feel like you're growing one day but feel stuck the next, if you're finding yourself or if you feel lost...

this is a poetry collection for you.

Featuring an array of personal reflections, illustrations, never-before-seen poems and much-loved viral hits, I Don't Want To Settle is a candid and relatable companion for growth and healing.

Genres: Poetry

175 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 4, 2025

Reviews

[Beatriz Bruxelas · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cute book. A diary of a young man in poems.

[Francisco Valente · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5*

It’s always fascinating and intriguing - almost uncanny - when someone can describe what you’re feeling in a way you could never yourself, especially when they do so with such beautiful words.

[Frida Sjöberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Truly loved this one.

Dan Whitlam is truly a wordsmith, he’s got a way with words that just hit right where it should.

Randomly stumbled upon him a few months ago and have had periods I’ve listened to his spoken poetry on Spotify for days straight. Can highly recommend!!

5 stars

[Chrissy · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are no words for my love for Dan's writing. It hits, it hurts but it also heals.

[Lieke Bisschops · Rating 5 out of 5]

“But then everyone says it will get better with time
A cruel irony cos
The thing about time is
It takes time.”

“I want you to love me
But
Tell me how you love yourself first.
I want you to ask my about my day
But first
Tell me about yours.”

“You like to stand in rain.
No one there can see you cry.

Sometimes the darkest skies
Comfort the hardest goodbyes.”

These are just a fraction of quotes from a combination of poems written about love, growing up, grief and healing. Dan Whitlam is a true wordsmith and the words in his poems carry a sense of warmth and intimacy.

[Ineke · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars, rounded up to five when considering this is the author's first book.

I discovered Dan Whitlam on Instagram as I was going through some, ah, emotional turmoil of my own. I was absolutely moved by his voice but also by the way he manages to captures such profound emotions within his poems.

I wasn't quite sure how his words would work on a page, without his voice to accompany them, but I needn't have worried. It is so easy to imagine him saying those words out loud to you and even if you don't do that, most poems easily hold their own. There were a few poems that didn't manage to move me like the others but that's the great thing about poetry; I could imagine them moving someone else who has different life experiences.

I also loved the bits of prose that gave some insight into the author, his life, and what drives him. Absolutely recommended even if you, like me, weren't that much into poetry before.

[Yoyo · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some reflections:

I like that he says his poetry is by no means close to perfect - not as a criticism, but because I think the imperfections are what give this collection its humanness. Some pages sound less poetic than others, but perhaps it is the life they are written about that makes them poetic.

I like how he illustrates love, longing, grief, and hope in a way that isn’t particularly profound, but that highlights our shared thoughts and feelings as both strangers and fellow human beings.

I like that the thoughts are penned in a way that feels fleeting, as if they themselves know they will change over time as we grow.

The overwhelming feeling is one of being lost and sad, yet slowly finding yourself within that, and learning to hold onto comfort and joy in the smallest of things. It reflects a deeply relatable sense of incompleteness. A sense of chasing the approval of family, friends, romantic partners, and society in an attempt to fill that emptiness, only to eventually settle into something quieter and more inward. Perhaps this is a reflection of the undeniable way human hearts were created with eternity set within, needing something far greater than ourselves. The final poem concludes with him describing himself as very lucky, which reminds me of how very blessed I am.

Miscellaneous observations (in no particular order):
- White wine is mentioned twice - both in relation to women drinking it.
- He either drinks far too much Beaujolais or spends too much time thinking about drinking it because of how the word rolls off the tongue. Like Taylor Swift rhyming ‘car’ with ‘bar’!
- He watches ‘Friends’ often - same.

[Michelle Harrington · Rating 4 out of 5]

AUDIO BOOK BORROW BOX

Throughly enjoyed, again listening too on waking in the night, however rewound frequently so feel certain I heard most of it.

He has a lovely lyrically voice which I enjoyed. The subject matters made me think of my in their 20’s daughter, and anticipating this is how they sometimes feel.

Will look out for more spoken word

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was expecting to love this one. I follow the author on IG, and his spoken poetry is amazing. And a couple of the poems in this book did indeed really speak to me, but in general, it fell flat for me.

[Ciara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Devoured this in a day - loved how he wrote explanations and anecdotes to why he wrote certain parts. Not just a pretty TikTok worthy book, very deep writing too

[Sophie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dan Whitlam’s beautiful words are the most soothing melody

[Jade · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gorgeous book, everything about it is immaculate. If anybody should read a book it’s this one because we can all relate

[Irena Ivanova]

Touching. Comforting book in every one sadness.

[Kira Drake · Rating 2 out of 5]

a comfort read to feel a little less alone in your 20s

[Shan · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75

[King Hadgo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quote “Maybe it’s not about improvement
Maybe it’s about the continuation.”

[Janette Chung · Rating 5 out of 5]

i'll read anything written by dan