It’s Okay Not to Get Along with Everyone

by Dancing Snail, Sandy Joosun Lee (Translator)

RSVPing yes to an event even though you don't want to go; feeling drained responding to text messages; networking with colleagues that you can't stand. You need to hear that it's okay not to get along with everyone.

We live in an era of constant communication and obligation - messages, calls, meet-ups, events - and sometimes it's just too much. The No.1 bestselling author and illustrator Dancing Snail explores the necessity of maintaining a healthy distance in relationships, prioritising your needs and surrounding yourself with people you are comfortable with. Whether it's learning to say no, embracing solitude without guilt or focusing on personal wellbeing over pleasing others, this book serves as a guide for those seeking balance in their everyday interactions. Written in short-form chapters and with delightful illustrations, It's Okay Not to Get Along with Everyone is a must-read for anyone looking to cultivate healthier and more fulfilling connections in their lives.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Mental Health, Asian Literature, Ebooks, Emotional

256 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 6, 2025

Reviews

[emma]

words to live by

[Keya · Rating 3 out of 5]

rtc.

***
Pre-read: My people pleasing ass needs to read this.

[Reading_ Tamishly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Needed this book! A perfect 5 star read!

I came across this new release book by chance and I fell for it there and then!

I picked up the book without thinking twice and I love it when such picks turn out to be absolute favs!

The book I am taking about is “It’s Okay Not To Get Along With Everyone” by @dancing.snail

Pick up this book when you need to rest/relax; when you need some reassurance and some self care in all aspects of your life or simply when you feel overwhelmed. This book will do a lot for you.

The illustrations are subtle, cosy and cute. I will say the translation is perfect!

A perfect book to keep with you and yes, it’s a perfect book to gift to someone you care. Amazing book! Will help you discard whatever you really do not need in your life.

[Irina Cosovan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Relatable and real: she writes in a way that feels so personal and compassionate making you feel seen and welcome in this crazy world, trying to share with us some hard-won wisdom from her own experiences. The kind of book you keep re-reading because through the different phases of your life you might find yourself in the need of a reminder, her gentle advice to be be patient with yourself through the good and the bad times, share our hearts with the people around us in any way that feels right to us. To you whatever feels reals, is true and there is love in trying to understand and offering each other the space to be ourselves and listening to our feelings without rationalizing them. I can summarize this book with one sentence but I have learned so much more from her, such an enjoyable reading, cozy like a warm winter night, pure like the shared connection with another human being: it's okay not to get along with everyone, but people need people.
I strongly recommend reading this in order to find more peace and fufillment in our relationships, especially our relationship with ourselves.

[Cherry · Rating 1.5 out of 5]

so glad it's over

[Aria · Rating 4 out of 5]

Also on Snow White Hates Apples.

For the overthinkers, people-pleasers, those who want to be likeable to everyone, who are burning out, socially exhausted, emotionally drained. It’s Okay Not to Get Along with Everyone is a read akin to an understanding pat on the shoulder or a kind, empathetic hug.

Illustrated and written by Dancing Snail, this book is filled with anecdotes of the author's own experience with burnout in professional and personal settings, and her journey toward building a healthier relationship with herself again. It's a reflective and reassuring reminder that we need not to be loved by everyone to be at peace and happy with ourselves. That it is okay to breathe out and step back from situations when we want to. To not stay because we feel obliged to for it is not set in stone that our wavelength with others will forever be matching.

So yeah, It's Okay Not to Get Along with Everyone isn't an attempt to fix or get the reader to fix themselves. Rather, it sits with you, sharing your curves and edges as a quiet little reminder that all will still be okay when you choose to step back, set boundaries, and simply be.

[Cherlynn | cherreading · Rating 4 out of 5]

✨ "Fate is nothing but the meaning we place on a single coincidence in a sea of many."

A book that you'll want to slowly sit with... but still finish in a day ♡

Might be because of my mood or where I am at in life, but I found this a lot more relatable and relevant for me than I'm Not Lazy, I'm on Energy Saving Mode.

The lovely illustrations interspersed with small excerpts of text made this a breezy yet helpful and engaging read. The author discusses healthy boundaries and relationships, solitude and loneliness, and plenty of other topics that left me thinking.

Much needed and definitely a book I'll come back to.

✨ "Love and intimacy don't give you permission to say or do whatever you want. No freedom - however personal - should come at the cost of hurting others."

[Lish · Rating 2 out of 5]

It could be that I’ve read much better versions of what this book talks about, but I really feel like it’s just a published diary. The advice also didn’t make sense enough to be made into generalised statements. No judgement and no offence to the author, but I’ll be looking elsewhere for actual guidance on self-improvement/relationships. It’s great for solidarity though, if you’ve never come across these topics before and are interested in learning more, then it could be a worthwhile read? It’s very fast-paced at least

[Joel Choong · Rating 2 out of 5]

I felt like I was reading a personal blog more than anything else. Not that it was bad but it just wasn’t very good.

[Christine · Rating 4 out of 5]

On the surface this book looks like a simple picture book but I must say, the writing style and concepts are soooo deep, especially for those in their late 20s and into their 30s. A validating read for those navigating the depth of their relationships with their friends, partner and themselves ❤️

[April · Rating 4 out of 5]

Comfortable book

[Elvina Zafril · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dancing Snail does it again with It’s Okay Not to Get Along with Everyone, and honestly, it’s the big hug my socially exhausted self really needed. As usual, the illustrations are absolutely darling, but they carry such a relatable punch. It perfectly captures that specific drain we all feel from constant pings, over committing to plans we don't actually want to attend, and the guilt that comes with "networking" with people who just don't vibe with us.

Reading this felt like a total permission slip to finally stop people-pleasing. It really made me realize that saying "no" isn't being rude, it’s an act of survival. The short, punchy chapters make it so easy to digest, and the main takeaway is loud and clear which is choosing yourself first is the only way to find actual balance. If you’ve ever felt guilty for wanting to stay in or for not "clicking" with everyone you meet, you definitely need to pick this up. It’s a gentle reminder that your peace of mind is way more important than a polite RSVP.

[Hannah Jung · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was sweet and wise.

It was beautifully made - I liked the colour scheme and design, and the illustrations were adorable.

I think it is best suited to a young person feeling a little lost in life, who hasn’t really been in a serious relationship or who finds it hard to make friends. It offered reassurance that it’s ok to feel anxious.

It does kind of say the same thing over and over for the whole book though - I feel it was a little repetitive.

[Anna (Ink of Books) · Rating 4 out of 5]

very cute, very kurzweilig, very beautifully illustrated

[Annabel · Rating 4.5 out of 5]

"A broken bowl will likely break again. Some connections simply aren’t meant to last - maybe they were never truly mine to begin with".

Dancing Snail's It's Okay Not to Get Along with Everyone feels like a caring pat on the shoulder, particularly for those of us who spend far too much time worrying about what other people think of us.

Sometimes you just need to read something that makes you feel seen and a little less alone in the world. Through its short chapters, the book offers gentle reminders that not every relationship is meant to last, not every disagreement needs resolving, and not everyone has to like you. It normalises conflict and emotional distance without villainising anyone.

I particularly appreciated the reassurance that choosing yourself doesn't make you selfish or unkind. I think there is something comforting and powerful about being reminded that it's okay to let go.

Some of the ideas aren't particularly revolutionary and I did find certain sections quite brief, occasionally wishing there was more depth or exploration. However, I do think that's part of its charm. Each chapter offers something to reflect on and the writing is infused with a warmth and compassion that makes the advice feel reassuring.

This is a gentle little reminder that you are allowed to outgrow people, protect your peace and most importantly, stop feeling guilty for not getting along with everyone. Sometimes, that's all you need to hear ❤️

[Ary アリ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dancing Snail is the same illustrator who draws for I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokbokki. This time she writes and draws, but still within the similar themes of self-love, loneliness and social relationship. Her illustrations and colour scheme are simple but eye catching and appealing.

Her proses are quite subtle that you can interpret it in your own ways and probably isn’t what the author intends to. It seems like an insight of the author’s self consolation, rather than a self-help book. though in some parts, it can be relatable especially if you’re a single introvert person.

Worth noting is how in some earlier pages, she writes/draws about the things we love about someone can be the reasons we hate them when we are no longer in a relationship. It reminds me of 500 Days of Summer. And when she mentions the movie in a later chapter, it just clicks.

Apart from the illustrations, I don’t think I can say much about the writing as the main reason enticing me to the book was merely the outer appearance.

[WishingTree · Rating 3 out of 5]

An introspective read. You can sense that the author has been hurt deeply in the past and spent a lot of time reflecting, processing, and drawing wisdom from those experiences.

The chapters on love and friendships may not all resonate with me, our lives and cultural experiences are probably very different, but every now and then a passage would hit unexpectedly, almost like looking into a rear-view mirror and wondering… have I been the difficult person in a similar situation before?

Another theme that stayed with me was how friendships can quietly fade with time. I’ve always been the one who holds on tightly to old friendships and memories… so that hit close to home. Maybe part of growing older is learning that not every relationship is meant to last forever, and that it’s okay to let go and invest in the people who are more present in your life now.

I also loved the simple 2D illustrations. Nothing elaborate, but effective, and somehow they make the emotions land even more. A gentle book, but one that leaves you reflecting along the way.

[Aliesha's_lit_life · Rating 3 out of 5]

This illustrated Korean non-fiction bestseller follows Dancing Snail’s own journey through burnout, social fatigue and the quiet work of rebuilding a healthier relationship with herself. Through short comics, reflections and gentle humour, she unpacks the pressures of always being “on,” the guilt of cancelling plans, and the liberation of recognising that not every connection needs to be nurtured and that’s okay.

As someone juggling a busy corporate role, fitness goals and hobbies that already fill my limited free time, I found so many moments in this book deeply relatable. It felt like a soft reminder that my energy is finite, and choosing rest or solitude isn’t selfish it’s necessary.

If you’re craving something comforting, validating and honest about the messiness of modern life, this little book is worth it.

[It’s Beautifully Bookish · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall Rating: 4⭐️

Format: hardback

Favourite Quote: “Chasing relationships just to be seen as a 'good person' in others' eyes is nothing but a waste of precious energy. The sooner you realise that, the wiser - and freer - your life becomes. Before trying to get along with everyone else, never forget: what matters most is getting along with yourself.”

Tropes: self help, boundaries, social expectations, perspective, short form chapters

This is the second book I have read by this author. I would say personally book one that I read called I’m not lazy. I’m on energy saving mode was a book I have related to more however I bought them together and reading this book. I was picking up bits and pieces but it just maybe wasn’t as relatable to myself.

I liked the easy rhythm of the book the simple illustrations and short chapters. It made it easy to read rather than long and difficult and boring. It was simple lighthearted but covering deep topics with the respect and gentleness they needed to be conveyed with.

Quotes I liked:

“The most dangerous thing about comparison is that it becomes a habit.”

“If someone in your life is draining your self-worth and shows no sign of changing, give yourself permission to take some space, at least until you're able to reconnect with what you truly want. Sometimes, what we really need isn't fixing or advice, but quiet respect and heartfelt support.”

“Because someone who's never there when you need them might as well not be there at all.”

“unless you speak up and show what you genuinely need, no one will ever know.”

“Before we get into relationships, maybe we should take a moment to ask ourselves one simple question: What are the values absolutely cannot give up on?”

“It's never too late to worry - when there's actually something to worry about. Don't let fear take over for things that haven't even happened yet.”

“Looking back, most of the people I worked hardest to keep around - those I stretched myself thin for - are no longer in my life. If a relationship only survives by being constantly curated, it will eventually dissolve on its own. If I could tell my early twenties self just one thing, it would be that simple truth.”

“People who disregard your needs or speak carelessly should be filtered out early, before you get used to calling that kind of relationship normal. Any connection that requires your constant self-sacrifice isn't equal - and it's not meaningful, either.”

“When you clear out the space taken up by relationships that don't respect you, the emptiness that follows can become the very opening through which better people find their way in.”

Very happy I read this book and I would definitely keep an eye on this author to see what else they do because it’s very likely I will buy it also!

[Livia · Rating 2 out of 5]

Title 10/10 the book itself 2,5 ✰ I was annoyed with it most of the time and read it more like a chore😭 so idk why I didn’t dnf.

The illustrations were cute and some things were relatable, but most of it was just basic stuff you already know. I didn’t really feel comforted or self helped. It read more like those superficial TikTok self-help slideshows you get sometimes, common sense stuff with not really any depth. I guess based on the title I was just expecting something else from this book, so no hate toward the author.

[Elin · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 Stars

[chloe · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book found me at the right time, and felt like a piece of my soul
i made so many annotations, but it's things i will look back upon and smile

[Yana C. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Final rating: 3.5

[Liezl · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bite-sized tips for every soul. No matter what form you take - a cat, a dog, a tree, or a bird, this book is for you.

"Depending on the moment, let’s become relationship nomads – drifting gently into whatever kind of closeness feels right at the time." 🙂‍↕️

[Sue · Rating 4 out of 5]

What an adorable excellent little book - subtle, but perceptive.

[Eh_bie_see · Rating 3 out of 5]

I find this book easy to read and quite relatable. The simple illustrations add charm and encourage reflection, making it natural to connect the themes to your own circumstances. What stood out to me is how it gently shifts perspective, allowing readers to see situations from another person’s point of view. The book serves as a gentle reminder and guide when things get socially overwhelming.


Overall, it’s a thoughtful yet light read. I’d recommend it if you’re easing back into reading after a break or just want something reflective without being heavy.

[Wei · Rating 4 out of 5]

The world isn't divided into 'good saints' and bad jerks'. And I, too, can't be a good person to everyone I meet. But maybe if I can accept that truth, I'll be able to understand the relationships I never quite could before - with a little more grace.

In striving to fulfil the duties of adulthood and chasing reassurance by keeping myself in check, had I, without even knowing it, become used to measuring myself against the world's endless comparisons? Had my heart grown harsher, gripped by the fear that unless I pushed someone else aside to climb higher, my own existence would be at risk? The most dangerous thing about comparison is that it becomes a habit. It becomes second nature, regardless of how much you're already accomplishing. But true self-confidence doesn't come from being ahead of others - it comes from embracing who you are, objectively and without judgement. And once you remember that, you begin to offer people you love the kind of comfort that doesn't need comparison, the kind of congratulations that's free from anxiety.

The only person capable of embracing me unconditionally is myself.

Let those who come, come. Let those who go, go.

The heart isn't something you can move with force. It's beyond your control. Instead of pouring energy into someone else's feelings, start with your own. When things don't go the way your heart wants, maybe it's time to follow where the heart can go.

If you can be at peace on your own, you can be at peace with others too.

But relationships aren't something you can build alone. No matter how much effort I put in, I can't control what the other person wants when it comes to closeness, and I certainly can't go deep with everyone. That's why, sometimes, a quiet kind of skill is require: the ability to maintain a connection that's neither too close nor too far. Because if the thread between us is pulled too tight, it might snap. And if it's too loose, it might tangle beyond repair.

Because no matter how things end, every relationship
leaves behind a lesson to learn.

There’s only so much time, energy and emotional space one person can offer. So, all we can really do is accept that relationships shift with each season of life and pour our hearts into those who are still here, by our side.

[Prerna Shambhavee · Rating 5 out of 5]

I used to think being a good person meant everyone liked you. That if someone was upset with you, you must have done something wrong. That saying no was rude. That stepping back made you selfish.

This book sat next to me on the couch and gently said: maybe not.

It's called It's Okay Not to Get Along with Everyone, and it's by Dancing Snail. The same person who wrote those other quiet little books that feel like they were made just for tired people. This one is about relationships. But not the romantic kind. The everyday kind. Coworkers. Relatives. That friend who drains you but you've known them since school so you feel trapped.

The book has drawings on almost every page. Simple ones. A person sitting alone, looking peaceful. Two people walking away from each other, both okay. A small snail curling into its shell without apologizing.

Each chapter is only a few pages. You could read it in an hour. But you won't want to. You'll want to sit with it. Let some pages sink in. Put it down, think about that one person you've been struggling with, pick it back up.

What got me was how it never tells you the other person is bad. It just says: sometimes your energy and their energy don't match. And that's not a crime. You don't have to declare war. You don't have to hate them. You just don't have to keep showing up until you feel empty.

I didn't realize how much I needed permission to step back quietly. No explosion. No dramatic goodbye. Just... less. With kindness. For both of us.

This book is for people who feel everything. Who replay conversations in their head. Who stay in rooms they want to leave because leaving feels rude. It won't fix you. It will just sit with you. And after a while, you might believe it: you are allowed to protect your peace. Even from good people. Even from people you love. Even when no one else understands why.

That alone is enough.

[Rahul Vishnoi · Rating 5 out of 5]

-Have You Learned To Say No?-
Review of 'It's OK Not to Get Along With Everyone'

Quote Alert
"𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐚 𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐩𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐥𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐭, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐣𝐨𝐛. 𝐒𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬. 𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐬 - 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝, 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲'𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝. 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬 𝐦𝐞, 𝐈'𝐦 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐦, 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐡𝐨𝐰, 𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝."

Have you learned the importance of saying no? Of not getting along with everyone? The cardinal rule of being happy is that you can't make or keep everyone happy. But do you know who can you make happy? Yourself! Give yourself the priority you deserve.

So what's the book about?
We live in an era of constant communication and obligation - messages, calls, meet-ups, events - and sometimes it's just too much. Dancing Snail explores the necessity of maintaining a healthy distance in relationships, prioritising your needs and surrounding yourself with people you are comfortable with.

Whether it's learning to say no, embracing solitude without guilt or focusing on personal wellbeing over pleasing others, this book serves as a guide for those seeking balance in their everyday interactions. Written in short-form chapters and with delightful illustrations, It's Okay Not to Get Along with Everyone is a must-read for anyone looking to cultivate healthier and more fulfilling connections in their lives.

Pick it up today.

[Booknerdo.O · Rating 4 out of 5]

Being an introvert, I usually find books about socializing pretty annoying, but this one is actually the opposite. It's a really pretty book, honestly the illustrations inside are so cute and they make the whole thing feel way less intense than a typical self help book. You can just flip to any page and it feels like a little break for your brain.

I spent a lot of time feeling like there was something wrong with me because I didn't want to be out there all the time, or because I found certain people just draining to be around. This book basically told me that it's fine to just not vibe with everyone. It talks about how we're constantly forced to be on because of our phones and constant invites, which is honestly exhausting. It basically made me feel so much better about needing space. I used to think I was just being weird for saying no to things, but now I get that it's just how I refuel.

The best part is that it's short, simple and the drawings make it feel really cozy. It's the kind of book you want to keep on your nightstand just to look at when you've had a long day and need to remember that your peace of mind matters more than being popular. If you're someone who gets social burnout easily, you'll definitely get it. It's just a nice, quiet reminder that it's okay to have boundaries and stay true to your introverted self