Spousal Prayer: A Way to Marital Happiness

by James Keating

Deacon James Keating's book Spousal Prayer: A Way to Marital Happiness, affirms that the sharing of hearts is a necessary commitment in both marriage and prayer. If we can learn what the key elements to sharing the heart are and equally what the key elements to receiving the heart of another are, then we will know the greatest of intimacy in both prayer and marriage. The mingling of the love of spouse with and in the love of God is and has always been the foundation for a life of peace, creativity, and vibrancy, not to mention sanctity. In fact, we cannot even understand what marriage is unless we look at how Christ loved His Bride, the Church, till the end (Jn 13:1). For the baptized, Christ has joined His love for the Church to the Sacrament of Marriage and Marriage, to His love for the Church.

Each couple is called to allow Jesus to bring them into this great love of His. The couple is not supposed to do all the "work" of love; they are called to let Jesus gift them with His own spousal love. In other words, couples should let Jesus live His spousal love for the Church over again in their own love for one another. They do this by simply asking Him in prayer to do so and by sharing their needs and desires with Him. Marriage is not a "self-help" relationship; it is a deep partnership with Christ.

Genres: Catholic, Marriage, Religion, Spirituality

39 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 20, 2013

Reviews

[Bailey L. · Rating 4 out of 5]

An excellent little book (almost a treatise) that speaks so well to listening as a virtue and the vital importance of the death of the ego in a fruitful marriage.

Also speaks well to how to work with a spouse in a place of desolation, and how culture and distraction are used to keep us away from God and our spouse.

Wish it had gotten a bit more specific about ways other couples pray with their spouse. Maybe some quotes from couples at the end would be nice. Matt and I have some good rhythms now but would love to try some new ones!

[Patti · Rating 4 out of 5]

The title was a little misleading. I think you pick this book up and are likely to conclude that it is filled with practical, action-oriented suggestions about how to deepen your prayer life with your spouse. It is not. I think it would more appropriately be titled "Prayer Within the Vocation of Marriage." The majority of the book is about developing the disposition for prayer in light of the fact that you are married and therefore your path to holiness includes that person. As such, the book is beautiful, and has three main themes to developing that disposition within your marriage and with God: behold, listen, forgive/repent. A short read, but lots of fodder for reflection and growth.

[Laila · Rating 5 out of 5]

EXCELLENT! Only took such a long time to finish because I misplaced the bag I placed this book in.

It really is a great book. I took away a lot of nuggets and truths from it. I would highly recommend reading it WITH your spouse so you BOTH can be challenged and transformed!

It’s originally written (I believe) for engaged couples going through marriage prep, but I think it makes a wonderful spiritual book for couples at any place in their marriage. 

It is definitely dense and you have to go through it slowly to make sure you really are understanding it and allowing the words to soak in.

One of my favorite lines of the whole book: “Christ further says, ‘take good care of your spouse for he is meant to live with Me in Heaven. His relationship with Me is in his hands, but I have given you to him so that you can help him reach holiness. Use every grace that marriages gives you to assist Me in welcoming him into eternity.”

[Ella Lightner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you Rainee for gifting me this highly recommended book(-ito), it really is amazing!! I will be rereading it for years to come.

[Maureen Budd · Rating 3 out of 5]

Would have appreciated a more practical exploration of spousal prayer.

[Trinity Carff · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book offered beautiful reflections on the sacrament of marriage as a mirror to our relationship with God. There is a heavy emphasis on how prayer both independently and in communion with your spouse is a way of deepening intimacy and holiness within the marriage. I found the book to lead to more meditative practices rather than practical guidance.

[Antonio · Rating 5 out of 5]

My wife and I read this book together and it contained great advice for growing in the spiritual dimension of our marriage. I particularly appreciated the parallels drawn between love of the spouses and love of God. The 2 are never in conflict.

[Jen Finke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just the kind of 2x4mation I needed right now. One should expect nothing less from IPF. I feel like I need to read it every month.

[Lindsay Funderburk · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely loved the connection between intimacy with God and intimacy with spouse. This book challenged me and inspired me.

[Rich · Rating 3 out of 5]

Underwhelming.

There was a lot of great material in here about prayer in general. Stuff that I can use in my personal prayer. That's right, I said personal prayer. There is surprisingly little in this book called Spousal Prayer on spouses praying together. Was hoping to get some practical advice. Hope not realized.

[Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great primer on prayer for married couples. Easy to read, yet with profound depth and attention to the thoughts, feelings, and desires of the heart. Prayer, like any relationship, is not simply about technique, but above all concerns receptivity to God and hence to others. I recommend this short book to anyone looking to deepen their own personal prayer, to couples seeking to strengthen their prayer with and for one another, and to any priest, deacon, or catechist who is charged with preparing couples for marriage. Deacon Keating's book on Spousal Prayer is a rich treasure for the Church.