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Broken Boys of Cirque #3
Catcher's Lock
Josha
Don’t fall in love with the boy next door.
Not when he’s the prodigal son of the family you’ve always wanted. Especially not when he’s straight, damaged, and hell-bent on ripping your heart out and running away. When lines get crossed and he disappears, I vow I’m done chasing an impossible dream. So why am I answering his call two years later and letting him drag me back into his games? And how can I resist when the lure he’s dangling is the one thing I’ve always wanted—him?
Gem
Don’t break your best friend’s heart.
Not when he’s the only perfect thing that’s ever loved you. Especially not when he makes you question everything you thought you knew about yourself. But all I do is drag him down with my addictions and the only way to save him is to let him go. So I run—only to realize the missing pieces of myself I’m chasing are shaped like him.
I haven’t earned another chance, but I’m begging for one anyway. It’s time to shed my shackles and swim in the sun, because becoming the man he deserves is the only way I’ll ever find my home.
Catcher's Lock is an 18+ MM childhood best friends-to-lovers romance with with a slow burn, a lot of angst, and mature content. Expect 1st person present tense, dual POV, and material that some readers may find sensitive. Full content notes included in the book and on my author website.
This is the third book in a series of interconnected standalones following a group of elite aerial circus athletes through their struggles to find unconventional love in unexpected places. It can be read on its own but includes minor spoilers for book 2, Unlocked Dive. Catcher's Lock ends with a HEA.
Don’t fall in love with the boy next door.
Not when he’s the prodigal son of the family you’ve always wanted. Especially not when he’s straight, damaged, and hell-bent on ripping your heart out and running away. When lines get crossed and he disappears, I vow I’m done chasing an impossible dream. So why am I answering his call two years later and letting him drag me back into his games? And how can I resist when the lure he’s dangling is the one thing I’ve always wanted—him?
Gem
Don’t break your best friend’s heart.
Not when he’s the only perfect thing that’s ever loved you. Especially not when he makes you question everything you thought you knew about yourself. But all I do is drag him down with my addictions and the only way to save him is to let him go. So I run—only to realize the missing pieces of myself I’m chasing are shaped like him.
I haven’t earned another chance, but I’m begging for one anyway. It’s time to shed my shackles and swim in the sun, because becoming the man he deserves is the only way I’ll ever find my home.
Catcher's Lock is an 18+ MM childhood best friends-to-lovers romance with with a slow burn, a lot of angst, and mature content. Expect 1st person present tense, dual POV, and material that some readers may find sensitive. Full content notes included in the book and on my author website.
This is the third book in a series of interconnected standalones following a group of elite aerial circus athletes through their struggles to find unconventional love in unexpected places. It can be read on its own but includes minor spoilers for book 2, Unlocked Dive. Catcher's Lock ends with a HEA.
411 pages, Kindle Edition
Published November 6, 2025
61 people are currently reading
539 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 149 reviews
October 17, 2025
THIS BOOK WAS SO GOOD! Y'all, Catcher's Lock was one of my most anticipated reads of the year and IT DID NOT DISAPPOINT. I first came across A.K. Blythe last year when I read Unlocked Dive, the second in her Broken Boys of Cirque series and I was FLOORED. That book is SO freaking good - the writing is incredible, I loved the characters, and the spice is AMAZING. Catcher's Lock takes all of that to the next level with a tightly plotted storyline, some of my FAVORITE tropes (years of mutual pining YES PLEASE), and some absolutely unforgettable moments. This book will have you kicking your feet, sobbing, and Googling what a Chinese pole is - a MUST READ for sure.
There's nothing like childhood friends to lovers that will get me INVESTED in a story - and Josha and Gem's journey to being together was EVERYTHING I could have asked for. Josha's long term crush on his best friend HURTS, as we get to see him falling for Gem through a series of backstory vignettes. However, in the present, Gem's struggle with addiction and trying to get Josha to trust him again hurts even more. Their journey to each other is long and hard, but I think that makes their romance feel so much more real. I loved sweet Josha for trying to hold everything together by himself for so long, but honestly y'all, Gem had my heart. He's an absolute mess, but he's also so freaking funny and once he realizes that he really needs to TRY to win Josha back, he's all in for him. Tearing up right now just thinking about it.
Once again, A.K. Blythe can write some REALLY good spice y'all. And it's not gratuitous either - this is spice that moves the plot along, beautiful moments that bring the characters closer to their HEA. And Gem's willingness to experiment AND make things comfortable for Josha's first time was so sweet too - this is what I want from the spice I read.
I am SO grateful to have had the opportunity to read this one early (even though I'm posting late!). It's an incredible read, definitely something unique in the mm romance space. I'm a total A.K. Blythe fangirl, this book will be on my end of year lists and I cannot wait to see what she does next!
There's nothing like childhood friends to lovers that will get me INVESTED in a story - and Josha and Gem's journey to being together was EVERYTHING I could have asked for. Josha's long term crush on his best friend HURTS, as we get to see him falling for Gem through a series of backstory vignettes. However, in the present, Gem's struggle with addiction and trying to get Josha to trust him again hurts even more. Their journey to each other is long and hard, but I think that makes their romance feel so much more real. I loved sweet Josha for trying to hold everything together by himself for so long, but honestly y'all, Gem had my heart. He's an absolute mess, but he's also so freaking funny and once he realizes that he really needs to TRY to win Josha back, he's all in for him. Tearing up right now just thinking about it.
Once again, A.K. Blythe can write some REALLY good spice y'all. And it's not gratuitous either - this is spice that moves the plot along, beautiful moments that bring the characters closer to their HEA. And Gem's willingness to experiment AND make things comfortable for Josha's first time was so sweet too - this is what I want from the spice I read.
I am SO grateful to have had the opportunity to read this one early (even though I'm posting late!). It's an incredible read, definitely something unique in the mm romance space. I'm a total A.K. Blythe fangirl, this book will be on my end of year lists and I cannot wait to see what she does next!
November 26, 2025
I'm usually not a fan of when the timeline of a story jumps around because my brain struggles with comprehending time, but this book really worked for me and I found it easy to follow because it used the character's ages rather than just saying how many years we'd gone forward or back - super helpful for my dyscalculic brain!
Is the relationship between Gemiah and Josha healthy? Not really, but they fit together and they're willing to put in the hard work to finally have what they've both always wanted - albeit, Gem never accepted he wanted Josha until he couldn't escape it anymore. They have a solid bond built on friendship and they've seen each other at their absolute worst and still want to be together, and I did really like them together.
The addiction aspect isn't something I can comment on as to authenticity or realism, but I did like that we got to see Gem's mindset and understand the why behind his choices. I usually prefer to see the MC through their rehab programmes, but I actually was ok with that being off page in this book because it was clear what Gem's issues were and what triggered him, plus he was communicating with Josha really well. A lot of the time we don't get to see that information, just that the character is an addict, so I definitely liked this approach and felt like I got to know who Gem really was.
I loved the whole circus element again and I'm glad we got appearances from Echo and Byrd too. I was hopeful that Ellis was getting a story too, but it seems like the series is finished so maybe not?
Is the relationship between Gemiah and Josha healthy? Not really, but they fit together and they're willing to put in the hard work to finally have what they've both always wanted - albeit, Gem never accepted he wanted Josha until he couldn't escape it anymore. They have a solid bond built on friendship and they've seen each other at their absolute worst and still want to be together, and I did really like them together.
The addiction aspect isn't something I can comment on as to authenticity or realism, but I did like that we got to see Gem's mindset and understand the why behind his choices. I usually prefer to see the MC through their rehab programmes, but I actually was ok with that being off page in this book because it was clear what Gem's issues were and what triggered him, plus he was communicating with Josha really well. A lot of the time we don't get to see that information, just that the character is an addict, so I definitely liked this approach and felt like I got to know who Gem really was.
I loved the whole circus element again and I'm glad we got appearances from Echo and Byrd too. I was hopeful that Ellis was getting a story too, but it seems like the series is finished so maybe not?
October 8, 2025
4 Stars for Josha and Gem
From heartbreaking to heartwarming — the patience of Josha, the force of Gem. I love the back-and-forth in time, giving us a solid view of the before and how everything unraveled into the now. The way their story rebuilds itself piece by piece is painfully beautiful.
"It's always been you"
The family dynamics ebb and flow right alongside the drama, showing how love, loyalty, and resentment can coexist in messy, human ways.
The ending and epilogue were absolutely fantastic — the kind that leaves you with a full heart and a satisfied sigh. A perfect close to a story about loss, forgiveness, and finding your way back to where you truly belong.
From heartbreaking to heartwarming — the patience of Josha, the force of Gem. I love the back-and-forth in time, giving us a solid view of the before and how everything unraveled into the now. The way their story rebuilds itself piece by piece is painfully beautiful.
"It's always been you"
The family dynamics ebb and flow right alongside the drama, showing how love, loyalty, and resentment can coexist in messy, human ways.
The ending and epilogue were absolutely fantastic — the kind that leaves you with a full heart and a satisfied sigh. A perfect close to a story about loss, forgiveness, and finding your way back to where you truly belong.
October 26, 2025
Check the tw-list with this one before reading.
Not gonna lie, this one, as predicted, hurt 🤧But: it's so worth it, pushing through. Like boy, is this book worth it.
Josha and Gemiah have been best friends since their childhood, and Josha has had feelings for Gem since forever. And Gem is.. he is a bit of a broken boy with lots of things to deal with and lots of problems, which make his life extremely difficult for him and everyone around him.
The story is told in two different time-lines, the 'then' and the 'now', which means we learn about the MCs in different stages of their lives.
The pining in this book? Exquisite. I'm always a big fan of lots of yearning and pining, of course only when it ends in a happy ending 🤭
Gem and Josha are one of these couples I won’t forget about. These author truly writes amazing, oustanding characters.
Not gonna lie, this one, as predicted, hurt 🤧But: it's so worth it, pushing through. Like boy, is this book worth it.
Josha and Gemiah have been best friends since their childhood, and Josha has had feelings for Gem since forever. And Gem is.. he is a bit of a broken boy with lots of things to deal with and lots of problems, which make his life extremely difficult for him and everyone around him.
The story is told in two different time-lines, the 'then' and the 'now', which means we learn about the MCs in different stages of their lives.
The pining in this book? Exquisite. I'm always a big fan of lots of yearning and pining, of course only when it ends in a happy ending 🤭
Gem and Josha are one of these couples I won’t forget about. These author truly writes amazing, oustanding characters.
November 7, 2025
Catcher's Lock got off to a really great start for me, with beautiful writing from A.K. Blythe and so much tension and pining, I was sure my heart would break before the book ended. I love the childhood friends-to-enemies-to-lovers trope, and thought that the flashback structure worked well to really build the sense of longing between Josha and Gem. Seeing their history really heightened all of the emotions in the present timeline, and I was so eager to find out what had gone wrong between them.
However, the story kinda lost me in the second half, especially when the flashbacks ended and Josha and Gem had reconciled. It felt like all the tension left the room, and we were left with nothing but spice (some very good spice, I might add), and going through the motions. I also wanted more flashbacks to illustrate exactly how/why Gem became an addict, as I felt like that wasn't properly addressed in the story, despite being a huge part of it.
One of the major issues I had with this story was Shilo, and the fact that she abandons her entire family as a result of her bi-awakening to have a relationship with a woman. In a society that stigmatises bisexual women in particular, it just felt like an insensitive way to write her character, especially because we aren't given any context for her decision other than falling in love. It reinforces negative connotations around bisexuality, and I spent the whole story waiting for there to be some other explanation, only, there wasn't.
I enjoyed this story overall, and especially loved the writing and some of the early tension between the main characters. However, it kind of fell flat for me in the end, and I would have liked to see some issues explored with more depth and sensitivity.
*I was given an advanced copy of this book, but I am leaving a review voluntarily*
However, the story kinda lost me in the second half, especially when the flashbacks ended and Josha and Gem had reconciled. It felt like all the tension left the room, and we were left with nothing but spice (some very good spice, I might add), and going through the motions. I also wanted more flashbacks to illustrate exactly how/why Gem became an addict, as I felt like that wasn't properly addressed in the story, despite being a huge part of it.
One of the major issues I had with this story was Shilo, and the fact that she abandons her entire family as a result of her bi-awakening to have a relationship with a woman. In a society that stigmatises bisexual women in particular, it just felt like an insensitive way to write her character, especially because we aren't given any context for her decision other than falling in love. It reinforces negative connotations around bisexuality, and I spent the whole story waiting for there to be some other explanation, only, there wasn't.
I enjoyed this story overall, and especially loved the writing and some of the early tension between the main characters. However, it kind of fell flat for me in the end, and I would have liked to see some issues explored with more depth and sensitivity.
*I was given an advanced copy of this book, but I am leaving a review voluntarily*
October 13, 2025
I loved this book SO much! The characters, the plot, the spice, the writing…everything was amazing. If you’re a fan of MM romance (or just romance in general), you NEED to add this to your TBR!
First of all, this was SO beautifully written, from beginning to end, and I have so many amazing quotes from this!
I loved reading about Josha and Gem’s friendship/relationship throughout the years. The flashbacks to their teenage years was so helpful in understanding them as a character. In addition to reading about their friendship/relationship, it was also interesting to read about their family dynamics and those issues.
The second half of the book is all in the present and the spice was *chef’s kiss* perfect. If you’re looking for well-written spice AND an amazing plot, I HIGHLY recommend this! Even through the spicy scenes, you see how their relationship is changing. I’m usually pretty good at keeping a straight face while reading spicy scenes, but some of them had me like 😳.
This was definitely an EMOTIONAL read so make sure you read the trigger warnings. There are some heavy topics, including addiction. I don’t have any experience with this with anyone I know personally, so it was interesting to read from that perspective. Trust me, it’s worth it in the end and you’ll be crying happy tears ❤️
First of all, this was SO beautifully written, from beginning to end, and I have so many amazing quotes from this!
I loved reading about Josha and Gem’s friendship/relationship throughout the years. The flashbacks to their teenage years was so helpful in understanding them as a character. In addition to reading about their friendship/relationship, it was also interesting to read about their family dynamics and those issues.
The second half of the book is all in the present and the spice was *chef’s kiss* perfect. If you’re looking for well-written spice AND an amazing plot, I HIGHLY recommend this! Even through the spicy scenes, you see how their relationship is changing. I’m usually pretty good at keeping a straight face while reading spicy scenes, but some of them had me like 😳.
This was definitely an EMOTIONAL read so make sure you read the trigger warnings. There are some heavy topics, including addiction. I don’t have any experience with this with anyone I know personally, so it was interesting to read from that perspective. Trust me, it’s worth it in the end and you’ll be crying happy tears ❤️
November 13, 2025
"I have no idea how this boy ended up in my yard, but he feels like the answer to a question I didn’t even know I was asking."
I do not have enough superlatives for the absolutely divine Broken Boys of Cirque series by the fabulous A.K. Blythe! Catcher's Lock is book 3 in the series and this is Josha and Gem's story.
This is a high-angst love story between childhood best friends, who catch feelings early on in their friendship, but with neither of them being on the same page at the same time.
Both men are broken in their own way, with family trauma and addictions featuring highly, along with other dark themes.
The writing is superb and I absolutely adored every part of the boys' story.
What To Expect:
❥ MM romance
❥ Circus setting
❥ Childhood best friends
❥ Bi-awakening
❥ Dark themes
❥ Addictions and self-harm
❥ Hurt/comfort
❥ First times
❥ ALL THE ANGST
❥ ALL THE STEAM
❥ Hard won HEA
"His head thunks against the frame, shoulders stiff with tension, and the next words are quiet, almost pleading. “Why me?” And isn’t that the million-dollar question. Because it’s always been you. Because I wanted to see if you’d come. But I’m not sure my face can take any more abuse today, so I wisely keep that nugget to myself and offer a gentler truth. “Who else would I call?”"
ALL THE STARS! 🌟
I do not have enough superlatives for the absolutely divine Broken Boys of Cirque series by the fabulous A.K. Blythe! Catcher's Lock is book 3 in the series and this is Josha and Gem's story.
This is a high-angst love story between childhood best friends, who catch feelings early on in their friendship, but with neither of them being on the same page at the same time.
Both men are broken in their own way, with family trauma and addictions featuring highly, along with other dark themes.
The writing is superb and I absolutely adored every part of the boys' story.
What To Expect:
❥ MM romance
❥ Circus setting
❥ Childhood best friends
❥ Bi-awakening
❥ Dark themes
❥ Addictions and self-harm
❥ Hurt/comfort
❥ First times
❥ ALL THE ANGST
❥ ALL THE STEAM
❥ Hard won HEA
"His head thunks against the frame, shoulders stiff with tension, and the next words are quiet, almost pleading. “Why me?” And isn’t that the million-dollar question. Because it’s always been you. Because I wanted to see if you’d come. But I’m not sure my face can take any more abuse today, so I wisely keep that nugget to myself and offer a gentler truth. “Who else would I call?”"
ALL THE STARS! 🌟
November 3, 2025
I need a minute… maybe an hour… maybe a week 😭 because holy hell, this book wrecked me in the best possible way. I’ve been dying for Gem and Josha’s story since Unlocked Dive, and wow — AK Blythe did not hold back. From page one, she came swinging with the emotional punches and never let up. My eyes were basically waterfalls for the first 30%, and after that… let’s just say the tissues never left my side. 💔
This wasn’t just a love story. It was two boys clawing their way toward something real — through pain, relapse, guilt, and every kind of heartbreak imaginable. It’s messy. It’s vulnerable. It’s raw. And I felt every single second of it.
Gem… my chaotic, beautifully broken boy 🖤 He wore his pain like armour — always deflecting, always performing — but underneath it all? Just a hurting kid trying to survive, numbing everything with alcohol. Watching him spiral, drowning in addiction, guilt, and feelings of inadequacy, was gutting. I saw so much of myself in Gem, and that made every moment of his struggle hit even harder. But seeing him fight his way back? To finally believe he could be enough for Josha? Absolutely soul-crushing in the most beautiful way. 😭
And Josha. Sweet, dependable Josha — the boy who’s known heartbreak since childhood. Growing up in a home where love felt conditional, only to find his safe place in Gem and his family. The pining, the quiet devotion, the heartbreak of loving someone who keeps slipping away… Blythe captured it so perfectly it hurt to read. 💔
And when these two finally come together? HOT. AS. FUCK. 🔥 Every glance, every argument, every breath between them — electric. But what really destroyed me was how they saw each other, even in the darkest moments. Despite the fear, the guilt, the pain — they kept reaching. Always choosing each other.
AK Blythe’s writing? Phenomenal. 🌪 She doesn’t just tell a story — she makes you live it. Every emotion hits like a punch to the chest, every scene pulls you deeper in. I knew this book would shatter me, but I wasn’t ready for how much it would heal me too. The ending and epilogue were everything — raw, hopeful, and beautifully full-circle. The kind that leaves you with a full heart and a shaky smile. 🥹
This isn’t a gentle kind of love story. It’s raw, devastating, and completely consuming. Catcher’s Lock belongs on your “beautifully broken but worth every tear” shelf — because this book? Absolute fucking perfection. 💔🔥
*I received a complimentary copy of this book but this is my honest and voluntary review!*
This wasn’t just a love story. It was two boys clawing their way toward something real — through pain, relapse, guilt, and every kind of heartbreak imaginable. It’s messy. It’s vulnerable. It’s raw. And I felt every single second of it.
Gem… my chaotic, beautifully broken boy 🖤 He wore his pain like armour — always deflecting, always performing — but underneath it all? Just a hurting kid trying to survive, numbing everything with alcohol. Watching him spiral, drowning in addiction, guilt, and feelings of inadequacy, was gutting. I saw so much of myself in Gem, and that made every moment of his struggle hit even harder. But seeing him fight his way back? To finally believe he could be enough for Josha? Absolutely soul-crushing in the most beautiful way. 😭
And Josha. Sweet, dependable Josha — the boy who’s known heartbreak since childhood. Growing up in a home where love felt conditional, only to find his safe place in Gem and his family. The pining, the quiet devotion, the heartbreak of loving someone who keeps slipping away… Blythe captured it so perfectly it hurt to read. 💔
And when these two finally come together? HOT. AS. FUCK. 🔥 Every glance, every argument, every breath between them — electric. But what really destroyed me was how they saw each other, even in the darkest moments. Despite the fear, the guilt, the pain — they kept reaching. Always choosing each other.
AK Blythe’s writing? Phenomenal. 🌪 She doesn’t just tell a story — she makes you live it. Every emotion hits like a punch to the chest, every scene pulls you deeper in. I knew this book would shatter me, but I wasn’t ready for how much it would heal me too. The ending and epilogue were everything — raw, hopeful, and beautifully full-circle. The kind that leaves you with a full heart and a shaky smile. 🥹
This isn’t a gentle kind of love story. It’s raw, devastating, and completely consuming. Catcher’s Lock belongs on your “beautifully broken but worth every tear” shelf — because this book? Absolute fucking perfection. 💔🔥
*I received a complimentary copy of this book but this is my honest and voluntary review!*
October 26, 2025
Words honestly fail me.
This book broke me, healed me, and left me clinging to every emotion in between. The cirque background, the pining, the angst, the struggle with addiction, the heartbreak, and that hard won happily ever after. It’s all written with such raw beauty.
Josha and Gem’s story is unforgettable. The way Josha’s always loved Gem, even when it hurt, even when it wasn’t enough...it was heartbreakingly beautiful.
And Gem…god, that man. The way he’s broken, lost, drowning in guilt and addiction, but still fighting for the one thing he thinks he doesn’t deserve - Josha’s love. My heart ached for him every single page.
This isn’t a love story for the faint of heart. It’s messy, heartbreaking, and utterly consuming.
Add this book to your “emotionally ruined but smiling through tears” shelf, because it’s pure fucking perfection.
This book broke me, healed me, and left me clinging to every emotion in between. The cirque background, the pining, the angst, the struggle with addiction, the heartbreak, and that hard won happily ever after. It’s all written with such raw beauty.
Josha and Gem’s story is unforgettable. The way Josha’s always loved Gem, even when it hurt, even when it wasn’t enough...it was heartbreakingly beautiful.
And Gem…god, that man. The way he’s broken, lost, drowning in guilt and addiction, but still fighting for the one thing he thinks he doesn’t deserve - Josha’s love. My heart ached for him every single page.
This isn’t a love story for the faint of heart. It’s messy, heartbreaking, and utterly consuming.
Add this book to your “emotionally ruined but smiling through tears” shelf, because it’s pure fucking perfection.
October 11, 2025
4.5 stars. These boys went through hell and back to finally be together. Gem was so broken but Josha was always there to pick up the pieces. The way the author talked about addiction and the struggles with yourself to get sober and then stay sober felt so real. The feelings of self doubt, hate, and being unworthy of everyone and anything. Josha was there to help Gem fix himself and they finally got their happy ending after 13 years of longing and struggles. I love them so much but also getting some Echo in the book was an added bonus. lol
"No regrets, Rocket. Only firsts and forevers.”
🖤❤️
"No regrets, Rocket. Only firsts and forevers.”
🖤❤️
October 4, 2025
Don’t mind me. I’m just over here sobbing. Sad tears. Happy tears. All the feels. This book was an emotional roller coaster of the best kind. Loving an addict is hard. Living with addiction is hard. But Gem & Josha’s story is a hopeful one. And hot. Definitely hot. AK Blythe know how to write a love story that is both emotionally compelling and swoon worthy.
November 9, 2025
What a heartbreakingly but BEAUTIFUL story. I absolutely loved Byrd and Echo but there is also nothing that hits me more than a “it’s always been you” story. When they were 13, they met love of their life. They didn’t know where it would take them, how long it would take, and the pain it would take to get there… but they made it. Against all odds they made it 🥹 I’ve had my fair share of books I’ve read with addiction and they all affect me in different ways, but main point is always the same. While the people around you want to do everything they can to support you, love you, be your strength, it’s you who has to want to get better. It’s only you who’s responsible for your addiction. The people you love can be your reason but it’s up to you to WANT that. This book was no different to me.
Gemiah was so loved by Josha and still it wasn’t enough. Still, he felt like he had to run away and disappear because he thought he’d never be able to be the person he deserved. But something that wasn’t his choice, was how people love and show up for you. How no matter what happens to Gem, no matter how many times he screws up, Josha will always be there to help him. A bond like theirs was a bond not everyone gets to experience in their lifetime and Josha knew that it didn’t matter what Gem would do, or how many times he would do it, he would still fight for him, love him, and remind him that he’s worth showing up for. That his mistakes don’t define him. That just because he’s going to fuck up, doesn’t mean he isn’t any less worth loving. It was so beautiful watching Gem slowly realize that about Josha. While his actions may hurt him, he loves him enough to fight through that hurt. He loves him enough to do what whatever it takes to KEEP him. Once Gem finally realizes this, is when their relationship starts truly growing again. Gem goes to his meetings and so does Josha (not only for Gem, but himself too).
They have PLENTY of moments physically sharing their love that is both so spicy but so monumental for both of them. Josha was able to have his firsts with the boy he’s always loved, and Gem was finally able to experience what it meant to be with someone who loves you, not just uses you. Someone who would do anything and everything to keep you. Someone who would follow you to ends of his Earth if even if they had to keep picking you up along the way. Someone he who loves you so hard and so deep that you can’t help but feel it in every moment you share together. The intimacy in which they shared that wasn’t physical was the most important, but that intimacy and true connection makes those physical moments better, knowing that you can trust who you’re with to always take care of you. I just loved and appreciated every single aspect of this book. While it was painful to go through, its outcome was so rewarding. Not only was Gem able to fight for himself, he let the people he loved be there alongside him. He didn’t make them carry all the pain, but knew if he fell, they would always be there to help him back him. To once again show him worth, and that his life individually, was worth fighting for.
It was even more so beautiful at the end where Gem told Josha that he didn’t need to be strong all the time too. That while he can be Gem’s strength, Gem could be his too 🥹 Josha needed to know that Gem would be by his side every step of the way, fighting to be the best person he can be not only for himself and the man he loves. He knows the toll it takes on the people who have relationships with addicts, so it was important for Josha to know that he didn’t have to hold onto that pain all alone. I just can’t stop crying because I love them and their journey to an HEA so much. In books like these, the happy ending seems so impossible. But the hard work and steadfastness on not giving on the people you love and who love you, makes that result so worth it. It was SO SO worth it to see Josha and Gem get to where they are.
It was so worth it to see Rocket and Quill live a life they both deserve, surrounded by people who love them. That at the end of day, Gem will still have his battles, but Josha will always be there right beside him through it all. I’ll stop before I bawl my eyes out because I basically cried throughout all of this 🥺 I just love these two to pieces.
— so many quotes bc i love them sm
“I’m transfixed by the impossible perfection of him, abruptly certain for the first time in my life. I’m definitely, definitely gay. And I’m pretty sure I just met the love of my life.”
“Why me?” — And isn’t that the million-dollar question. Because it’s always been you. Because I wanted to see if you’d come.
“Am I planning to freak out and run again? Not exactly. But for two years, my insistent idea of “home” has been completely wrapped up in him. My brain never really ventured past the Josha of it all.”
“The truth is, I don’t have a name for what I feel about him, if one even exists. Whatever it is, it’s certainly not clarity. Not when my life feels like it’s slipping further out of my control every day. If I ever had any control to begin with.”
“I don’t want someone else. I’ll wait forever if you let me.”
“I’m a star drop, Rocket. Something that appears flashy if you don’t know what you’re looking at, but ultimately unremarkable.” — “Ninety-nine percent of the world would never attempt a star drop. You only think it’s easy because you grew up in the circus. Don’t try to tell me you’re not remarkable.”
“Everything is different with you. It always was.”
“Why is it always this razor’s edge with him? A tightrope strung taut between torment and rapture.”
“Can I touch you now?” — “As the weight of the last hour crashes over me, I realize I don’t have the strength left to fight the truth. “Always.””
“Don’t make me watch someone else touch you like that again, Rocket. I won’t survive it a second time.”
“But I can’t separate the symptoms from the disease anymore. All that shit’s so fucking tangled I don’t have a clue where to begin unraveling it.” — “I started with you, Rocket. Because you’re the only thing I can see clearly.” (😭😭)
“His lips are warm and soft, parting effortlessly under my questing tongue, and he tastes like Tic Tacs and tequila, danger and desire. He tastes like destiny.”
“You’re not some chick. You’re Rocket. You’re the only good thing in my life, and I won’t fucking wreck you.”
“What were you ever jealous of?” — “The guy who’d finally deserve you. The guy who’d come after me. The guy you’d fall in love with. I hated them all.”
“I want all of it,” he says, and his voice is wrecked. His eyes find mine, and a shudder runs over his body, ricocheting through the invisible cords connecting us and begging me to believe. “All you have to say is yes.”
“And his Neptune eyes are the same as the boy on the surfboard. The boy who backflipped off my chicken coop and brought me soup and spent a thousand nights with his hip pressed to mine on a narrow twin bed while the glow from my laptop painted superhero shadows over his face. Quill. I still want him. I’ve never really been able to say no.”
“The kiss is tires on gravel and fiberglass on the sea. It’s hotel sheets and hammocks and snowmelt in the Sierra Mountain sun. He still tastes like destiny.”
“I’ve been in love with you since I was thirteen, Quill. I couldn’t even protect myself from it, no matter how much crap you pulled.” — “What I needed was for you to see what I saw. To fucking love yourself enough to stop with all the self-destructive crap and be my fucking Star-Lord.”
“I can’t guarantee there’s anything left in here worth saving, but I promise to fucking fight like hell to salvage whatever you’ll have of me.” (Crying)
“Look at me. Look at me. You are not a piece of shit. You’re worth something. You’re worth something to me. I need you to hear that.”
“You’re the fucking sun, Rocket. Shine bright and slay my creatures from the deep. I’m ready to be rid of them.”
“I want you all the fucking time. I ache for you.” — “No one else, Quill. Only you.”
“I don’t need you to get it right on the first try,” I tell him. “I need you to talk to me when it gets dark. I can’t—I don’t know how to handle being terrified every time you’re out of my sight. I’m so fucking sick of being scared for you all the fucking time.” (Ugh sobbing😭)
“The smile that blooms on his lips, warming his eyes with affection, makes everything worth it. He makes everything worth it.”
“I was a gay virgin lusting after my supposedly straight best friend. It’s the premise of a hundred romance novels. I was hardly original.” — “And what happens in those novels?” I whisper, dragging my teeth along his jaw. “Does the gay boy get epically railed by the best friend?” — “Every time.” (LMAO iktr!!)
“I didn’t know how to handle it, okay?” he cries. “Everyone always told me love was supposed to make you want to be a better person. How was I supposed to recognize it when every impulse was telling me I’d only let you down?” (Seriously stop it rn😭)
“You make me crazy,” I tell him. “You make me sane.”
“Look at me.” — “He shifts again, minutely, and I groan over his lips, but I open my eyes. He’s everywhere. So much blue. His body tugs at me like gravity. He’s the edge of the world, and I’m falling free.”
“I forgave you as soon as I heard your voice on the phone and knew you were alive.”
“What about me?” he asks. “Do I have to love you?” Taking my face in his hands, he kisses me once, soft and sweet. “Because I do. I love you. I always have. In all the ways a person can be loved.” (Crying pls help)
“I love you too,” I tell him. “In all the ways you want, for as long as you’ll let me.” (Like i seriously cant)
“We’ve shared a myriad of kisses in the last week—from hateful to hungry to heavenly sweet. This one tastes like a promise.”
“He’s Josha. He’s mine.” — “I’m pretty sure that’s always been true.”
“This new skin of yours, it looks good on you. You seem more comfortable in it than I’ve ever seen you before.” — “Because Josha loves this skin. To be fair—against all the odds—he loved the patchwork version too. The one made up of faults and flaws and messy fumbles. But this skin has tasted his—has opened up and let the man who loves it share space with all its dark and desperate innards. This skin loves someone back, and that someone is called us.”
“Maybe normal is whatever we want it to be. Maybe all that matters is us.”
“Seeing you succeed isn’t subverting my expectations.” — “It’s proving I was right about you all along.”
“Because my Rocket never cared about technical difficulty or the complexity of my skills. He saw the uncommon in everything I did, and I don’t just want that back—I want to bring him into the magic with me. Where he belongs.”
“Whatever he sees is already part of me, and it’s enough.”
“Look at me. Look at me, Rocket. I—” And then, from someplace naked and hopeless with longing: “See me.” “I see you.”
“Now, I am perfectperfectperfect, and I am with him, and I… am home.”
“Why is it so easy for you to be serious when you’re tearing yourself down, but impossible when I’m trying to build you up? You tell me every day how smart I am, and I love you. If you insist on the one, you have to believe you’ve earned the other.”
“And I love you. You believe me, right? That I mean it the way you do? That this is real?”
“And yet, I know I’ll do it as many times as it takes, because he’s my life, and I’ll never give up on him again.”
“We didn’t promise each other easy, Quill. No one can. We promised to stay, and to keep trying. We promised to love each other, and here we are, keeping those promises. This isn’t our third-act breakup. You might be scared, but you reached out for help when you needed it, and that makes you so fucking brave. I’ll give you whatever you need, whatever that looks like.”
“You are everything, Rocket. I’m the one who’s not enough.” — “You make me believe in magic and remind me to let it in. You taught me that it’s okay to want things for myself, and that I don’t need to limit my dreams to other people’s expectations. Every day I get to wake up next to you is a miracle, and you’re so, so fucking beautiful. You take my breath away.”
“You’ve been doing CPR ever since you brought me home.” — “I don’t care. All I want is a life with you, and I’ll never, never stop doing what it takes to have it. If that means keeping you alive until you can breathe on your own, I’ll gladly be your life support.” (Like seriously i cant stop crying)
“I’m never giving up on you. As long as you stay alive, I’ll keep giving us another chance. Nothing you could do will ever convince me you’re not worth it.” (Still crying)
“I don’t want to promise I’ll never fall, but I do promise that as long as you’re standing next to me, I’ll get back up. I’ll stay alive because the thought of you living without me is a thousand times more terrifying than the thought of staying sober. We’re gonna be good together, Rocket, and I’m ready to carry my own weight.”
“I’m hopelessly in love with you, you know.” “Not hopelessly.” He pulls our hands back and places them over his heart. — “We’re madly, irrevocably, eternally in love. With each other. You don’t get to claim all the romantic declarations for yourself.”
“No regrets, Rocket. Only firsts and forevers.” (🥺🥺)
“Who’s gonna top?” “You are.” — “Tell me why,” he says. “Because I’ve never seen you like this before—sure of yourself and…” “Acting like a grown-up?” “Hopeful. I want it inside me. I want you to drive it beneath my skin so that I carry it around for the rest of the day. The rest of our lives.”
“Enough, Quill. I already know you love me. Take me like you own me. Fuck me like a god.”
“I am safe with him, for the first time since he walked his bicycle into my backyard. How long has it been since I was unafraid?”
“I like being your hero. And you know you’ve always been mine.” — “That doesn’t mean you have to be strong all the time. You can fuck up or be selfish or let yourself be carried when life gets heavy. You’re the one who taught me those things don’t make you unworthy of love.”
“Why no rings?” — “Because I’m not marking our marriage with something that comes off. You’re stuck with me forever.” I lace my fingers with his. “I’m good with forever.”
“Anything for my sexy, brilliant husband.” — “Anything. He means it, and he’s proven it again and again. Sometimes I still can’t believe I caught the one person in my life who saw past the broken to the boy underneath—a man who crawled into purgatory to climb out at my side. Thank fuck I was smart enough to keep him.”
Gemiah was so loved by Josha and still it wasn’t enough. Still, he felt like he had to run away and disappear because he thought he’d never be able to be the person he deserved. But something that wasn’t his choice, was how people love and show up for you. How no matter what happens to Gem, no matter how many times he screws up, Josha will always be there to help him. A bond like theirs was a bond not everyone gets to experience in their lifetime and Josha knew that it didn’t matter what Gem would do, or how many times he would do it, he would still fight for him, love him, and remind him that he’s worth showing up for. That his mistakes don’t define him. That just because he’s going to fuck up, doesn’t mean he isn’t any less worth loving. It was so beautiful watching Gem slowly realize that about Josha. While his actions may hurt him, he loves him enough to fight through that hurt. He loves him enough to do what whatever it takes to KEEP him. Once Gem finally realizes this, is when their relationship starts truly growing again. Gem goes to his meetings and so does Josha (not only for Gem, but himself too).
They have PLENTY of moments physically sharing their love that is both so spicy but so monumental for both of them. Josha was able to have his firsts with the boy he’s always loved, and Gem was finally able to experience what it meant to be with someone who loves you, not just uses you. Someone who would do anything and everything to keep you. Someone who would follow you to ends of his Earth if even if they had to keep picking you up along the way. Someone he who loves you so hard and so deep that you can’t help but feel it in every moment you share together. The intimacy in which they shared that wasn’t physical was the most important, but that intimacy and true connection makes those physical moments better, knowing that you can trust who you’re with to always take care of you. I just loved and appreciated every single aspect of this book. While it was painful to go through, its outcome was so rewarding. Not only was Gem able to fight for himself, he let the people he loved be there alongside him. He didn’t make them carry all the pain, but knew if he fell, they would always be there to help him back him. To once again show him worth, and that his life individually, was worth fighting for.
It was even more so beautiful at the end where Gem told Josha that he didn’t need to be strong all the time too. That while he can be Gem’s strength, Gem could be his too 🥹 Josha needed to know that Gem would be by his side every step of the way, fighting to be the best person he can be not only for himself and the man he loves. He knows the toll it takes on the people who have relationships with addicts, so it was important for Josha to know that he didn’t have to hold onto that pain all alone. I just can’t stop crying because I love them and their journey to an HEA so much. In books like these, the happy ending seems so impossible. But the hard work and steadfastness on not giving on the people you love and who love you, makes that result so worth it. It was SO SO worth it to see Josha and Gem get to where they are.
It was so worth it to see Rocket and Quill live a life they both deserve, surrounded by people who love them. That at the end of day, Gem will still have his battles, but Josha will always be there right beside him through it all. I’ll stop before I bawl my eyes out because I basically cried throughout all of this 🥺 I just love these two to pieces.
— so many quotes bc i love them sm
“I’m transfixed by the impossible perfection of him, abruptly certain for the first time in my life. I’m definitely, definitely gay. And I’m pretty sure I just met the love of my life.”
“Why me?” — And isn’t that the million-dollar question. Because it’s always been you. Because I wanted to see if you’d come.
“Am I planning to freak out and run again? Not exactly. But for two years, my insistent idea of “home” has been completely wrapped up in him. My brain never really ventured past the Josha of it all.”
“The truth is, I don’t have a name for what I feel about him, if one even exists. Whatever it is, it’s certainly not clarity. Not when my life feels like it’s slipping further out of my control every day. If I ever had any control to begin with.”
“I don’t want someone else. I’ll wait forever if you let me.”
“I’m a star drop, Rocket. Something that appears flashy if you don’t know what you’re looking at, but ultimately unremarkable.” — “Ninety-nine percent of the world would never attempt a star drop. You only think it’s easy because you grew up in the circus. Don’t try to tell me you’re not remarkable.”
“Everything is different with you. It always was.”
“Why is it always this razor’s edge with him? A tightrope strung taut between torment and rapture.”
“Can I touch you now?” — “As the weight of the last hour crashes over me, I realize I don’t have the strength left to fight the truth. “Always.””
“Don’t make me watch someone else touch you like that again, Rocket. I won’t survive it a second time.”
“But I can’t separate the symptoms from the disease anymore. All that shit’s so fucking tangled I don’t have a clue where to begin unraveling it.” — “I started with you, Rocket. Because you’re the only thing I can see clearly.” (😭😭)
“His lips are warm and soft, parting effortlessly under my questing tongue, and he tastes like Tic Tacs and tequila, danger and desire. He tastes like destiny.”
“You’re not some chick. You’re Rocket. You’re the only good thing in my life, and I won’t fucking wreck you.”
“What were you ever jealous of?” — “The guy who’d finally deserve you. The guy who’d come after me. The guy you’d fall in love with. I hated them all.”
“I want all of it,” he says, and his voice is wrecked. His eyes find mine, and a shudder runs over his body, ricocheting through the invisible cords connecting us and begging me to believe. “All you have to say is yes.”
“And his Neptune eyes are the same as the boy on the surfboard. The boy who backflipped off my chicken coop and brought me soup and spent a thousand nights with his hip pressed to mine on a narrow twin bed while the glow from my laptop painted superhero shadows over his face. Quill. I still want him. I’ve never really been able to say no.”
“The kiss is tires on gravel and fiberglass on the sea. It’s hotel sheets and hammocks and snowmelt in the Sierra Mountain sun. He still tastes like destiny.”
“I’ve been in love with you since I was thirteen, Quill. I couldn’t even protect myself from it, no matter how much crap you pulled.” — “What I needed was for you to see what I saw. To fucking love yourself enough to stop with all the self-destructive crap and be my fucking Star-Lord.”
“I can’t guarantee there’s anything left in here worth saving, but I promise to fucking fight like hell to salvage whatever you’ll have of me.” (Crying)
“Look at me. Look at me. You are not a piece of shit. You’re worth something. You’re worth something to me. I need you to hear that.”
“You’re the fucking sun, Rocket. Shine bright and slay my creatures from the deep. I’m ready to be rid of them.”
“I want you all the fucking time. I ache for you.” — “No one else, Quill. Only you.”
“I don’t need you to get it right on the first try,” I tell him. “I need you to talk to me when it gets dark. I can’t—I don’t know how to handle being terrified every time you’re out of my sight. I’m so fucking sick of being scared for you all the fucking time.” (Ugh sobbing😭)
“The smile that blooms on his lips, warming his eyes with affection, makes everything worth it. He makes everything worth it.”
“I was a gay virgin lusting after my supposedly straight best friend. It’s the premise of a hundred romance novels. I was hardly original.” — “And what happens in those novels?” I whisper, dragging my teeth along his jaw. “Does the gay boy get epically railed by the best friend?” — “Every time.” (LMAO iktr!!)
“I didn’t know how to handle it, okay?” he cries. “Everyone always told me love was supposed to make you want to be a better person. How was I supposed to recognize it when every impulse was telling me I’d only let you down?” (Seriously stop it rn😭)
“You make me crazy,” I tell him. “You make me sane.”
“Look at me.” — “He shifts again, minutely, and I groan over his lips, but I open my eyes. He’s everywhere. So much blue. His body tugs at me like gravity. He’s the edge of the world, and I’m falling free.”
“I forgave you as soon as I heard your voice on the phone and knew you were alive.”
“What about me?” he asks. “Do I have to love you?” Taking my face in his hands, he kisses me once, soft and sweet. “Because I do. I love you. I always have. In all the ways a person can be loved.” (Crying pls help)
“I love you too,” I tell him. “In all the ways you want, for as long as you’ll let me.” (Like i seriously cant)
“We’ve shared a myriad of kisses in the last week—from hateful to hungry to heavenly sweet. This one tastes like a promise.”
“He’s Josha. He’s mine.” — “I’m pretty sure that’s always been true.”
“This new skin of yours, it looks good on you. You seem more comfortable in it than I’ve ever seen you before.” — “Because Josha loves this skin. To be fair—against all the odds—he loved the patchwork version too. The one made up of faults and flaws and messy fumbles. But this skin has tasted his—has opened up and let the man who loves it share space with all its dark and desperate innards. This skin loves someone back, and that someone is called us.”
“Maybe normal is whatever we want it to be. Maybe all that matters is us.”
“Seeing you succeed isn’t subverting my expectations.” — “It’s proving I was right about you all along.”
“Because my Rocket never cared about technical difficulty or the complexity of my skills. He saw the uncommon in everything I did, and I don’t just want that back—I want to bring him into the magic with me. Where he belongs.”
“Whatever he sees is already part of me, and it’s enough.”
“Look at me. Look at me, Rocket. I—” And then, from someplace naked and hopeless with longing: “See me.” “I see you.”
“Now, I am perfectperfectperfect, and I am with him, and I… am home.”
“Why is it so easy for you to be serious when you’re tearing yourself down, but impossible when I’m trying to build you up? You tell me every day how smart I am, and I love you. If you insist on the one, you have to believe you’ve earned the other.”
“And I love you. You believe me, right? That I mean it the way you do? That this is real?”
“And yet, I know I’ll do it as many times as it takes, because he’s my life, and I’ll never give up on him again.”
“We didn’t promise each other easy, Quill. No one can. We promised to stay, and to keep trying. We promised to love each other, and here we are, keeping those promises. This isn’t our third-act breakup. You might be scared, but you reached out for help when you needed it, and that makes you so fucking brave. I’ll give you whatever you need, whatever that looks like.”
“You are everything, Rocket. I’m the one who’s not enough.” — “You make me believe in magic and remind me to let it in. You taught me that it’s okay to want things for myself, and that I don’t need to limit my dreams to other people’s expectations. Every day I get to wake up next to you is a miracle, and you’re so, so fucking beautiful. You take my breath away.”
“You’ve been doing CPR ever since you brought me home.” — “I don’t care. All I want is a life with you, and I’ll never, never stop doing what it takes to have it. If that means keeping you alive until you can breathe on your own, I’ll gladly be your life support.” (Like seriously i cant stop crying)
“I’m never giving up on you. As long as you stay alive, I’ll keep giving us another chance. Nothing you could do will ever convince me you’re not worth it.” (Still crying)
“I don’t want to promise I’ll never fall, but I do promise that as long as you’re standing next to me, I’ll get back up. I’ll stay alive because the thought of you living without me is a thousand times more terrifying than the thought of staying sober. We’re gonna be good together, Rocket, and I’m ready to carry my own weight.”
“I’m hopelessly in love with you, you know.” “Not hopelessly.” He pulls our hands back and places them over his heart. — “We’re madly, irrevocably, eternally in love. With each other. You don’t get to claim all the romantic declarations for yourself.”
“No regrets, Rocket. Only firsts and forevers.” (🥺🥺)
“Who’s gonna top?” “You are.” — “Tell me why,” he says. “Because I’ve never seen you like this before—sure of yourself and…” “Acting like a grown-up?” “Hopeful. I want it inside me. I want you to drive it beneath my skin so that I carry it around for the rest of the day. The rest of our lives.”
“Enough, Quill. I already know you love me. Take me like you own me. Fuck me like a god.”
“I am safe with him, for the first time since he walked his bicycle into my backyard. How long has it been since I was unafraid?”
“I like being your hero. And you know you’ve always been mine.” — “That doesn’t mean you have to be strong all the time. You can fuck up or be selfish or let yourself be carried when life gets heavy. You’re the one who taught me those things don’t make you unworthy of love.”
“Why no rings?” — “Because I’m not marking our marriage with something that comes off. You’re stuck with me forever.” I lace my fingers with his. “I’m good with forever.”
“Anything for my sexy, brilliant husband.” — “Anything. He means it, and he’s proven it again and again. Sometimes I still can’t believe I caught the one person in my life who saw past the broken to the boy underneath—a man who crawled into purgatory to climb out at my side. Thank fuck I was smart enough to keep him.”
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 4, 2025
oh yes, this was way better than the two other books. they slayed 🤌
October 22, 2025
A.K. Blythe has quickly become one of my new favorite authors, as soon as I finished Unlocked Dive I was running to her page to sign up for this ARC and I’m so glad I did. Gem + Josha were so beautifully broken together and I loved their story so much, even if it hurt a lot of the time. She makes up for it in all the best ways, I promise.
October 12, 2025
I honestly don’t know if I have ever read a book with so much sexual tension. This book isn’t even just a mountain it’s a whole range. It is so complex and yet so simple. The two main characters in this book are so intertwined with each other I’m surprised their bones haven’t fused together. This is by far the best second chance romance book I have ever read, because despite being apart for extended periods of time, it still felt like they were sharing the same oxygen, they we’re both equally surviving off the memory of the other. It’s messy, it’s beautiful, it’s dragging yourself to the finish line where you might get knocked into the gutter, death tapping you on the shoulder, yet you persist.
Let’s start at the beginning. Gem and Josha meet when Gem’s family travelling Big Top move in to the next lot to Josha’s family trailer. They instantly become best friends. Gem seemly has it all, his family are happy, his parents are thriving running the big top together with him and his siter Milla are training to become future acts. Josha is an theoretical ocean away, He lives in a mobile home with his alcoholic father, absent mother, older twin sisters and younger brother who he is responsible for a lot of the time. Josha start’s spending all his free time at the big top with Gem and learning the stage hand trade from Gem’s dad Hals.
The two’s lives become instantly intertwined, connected in a way which I think is obvious to everyone but them. They are very co-dependent, a fact that become very clear when Shilo, Gem’s Mum leaves his dad to be with a women who she has fallen in love with. This is pretty much the first domino of Gems life descending into darkness and the beginning of him starting to lean heavily on Josha. At the same time Josha is struggling with the fact that he is yet to tell his best friend that he is gay, and that Gem is straight and that on some level he knows he’s in love with Gem but continues to write this off as teenage feelings. Due to the circumstances from both their families, they both end up travelling with big top and become more reliant on one and other than ever before.
“I’m gay” I blurt. “After one kiss? I didn’t even use my tongue.”
Let’s start on Gem because he is the most obvious problematic creature in this book. I think it’s safe to say he is an unreliable narrator at some points at least. Even when Shilo initially leaves, I don’t feel like this was a brisk as it felt to him. She gave him the option as she knew he would prefer to stay with Hals and with Josha but Gem frames this as more ‘My mum claimed Milla but not me’. I’m not saying I would not be furious at her in his shoes but this is very much the perspective of an angry upset and confused teenage boy. This continues into his older years. He can acknowledge that he likes flirting and is jealous of Josha’s romantic interests, even him losing his virginity out of spite but in the same breath writes it all off because he knows he isn’t gay or bi. Is this just a lack of understanding himself? Is there so much going on in his head that he has little time to think about anything that isn’t happening in the right here and now? Does he think he isn’t allowed to have more of Josha because he does not fit into the correct category?
His continues confusion was very apparent on the page. I don’t think Gem can be considered cogent in his reasoning until his final return. For this reason, I really enjoyed the parallels between the two timelines, they more often than not giving Gem a dose of his own medicine. While I love Gem, this is really something he needed. His mum returning to big top with Cheyanne and Milla in line with him returning to the very same place, Him leaving for college as Josha is preparing to move to Colorado. This is very much not something that goes over his head, by the current timeline Gem is very aware of everything. He is lucid to everything he has done and everything that was done to him.
As for Josha, I think he is contradiction within himself. He is so strong and such a staple but at the same time you can plainly see the emotion within him, everything he is not saying, his fears, his wants, his needs, everything that he repressed. I think part of why they become so intertwined is because Josha is desperate for proper parental figures and when he gets them in the form of Hals and Shilo, he will do all he can to stay there. Gem’s family absorbed Josha in a way that I think is probably common on Big Top culture but also, they would do this in any line of work because their son loves him.
Regarding Josha’s actually parents. His dad, I expected nothing from. He got what he deserved in the end and that was that but the mother. Why is she not on her knees beginning for forgiveness? She may not have been the catalysis for this mess but she neglected her children point blank. I get she became what she did in order to survive but that not how it is anymore and she just stayed the same emotionless wall. The fact the Josha is a fully fledged, contributing member of society is something he does not get enough credit for. He is by far my favourite characters in this entire series. Even the thought of him pulls at my heart strings. He didn’t deserve to suffer in silence for all those years, walking on eggshells, terrified of disappointing anyone and everyone. I could not be happier for his happiness.
“Who is he to you, Gem?” “He’s Josha”.
I have a million more things to say about this book in no specific order so forgive me while I bounce around and ramble for a bit. I would have loved more time with Hals. Everything we hear about him is second hand, We hear of all these wonderful acts of service and his perseverance (a trait in which I think has been passed down to Josha) yet we rarely see it first hand like we do with Shilo and Cheyanne. Despite this, he just shines through on the page, he is very clearly the best type of man and I wanted to see more of that. The lack of information from him during his and Shilo’s split says a lot. Yes, it does seem like Shilo is treating Hals like dog shit but at the end of the day, he is an adult man who has agreed to these circumstances. We have no idea if he felt like this was his only choice or if this is something he truly wanted. We don’t know this because parents shield kids from the inner turmoil of their relationship breaking down.
I can’t really land on a specific emotion on how I feel about Jeremy. I’ve gone back and forth on him about 25 different times. Being ‘twitchy’ about someone’s sexuality just doesn’t sit right with me, especially when that someone gave up a big chunk of their life to raise you when they were still a child themselves. In the end, him standing up to Gem did give him a lot of ground but for me I think he’s sitting in the category of ‘Douche’. I feel like I need to mention Josha’s sisters but Hannah and Rachael we’re very interchangeable, they didn’t really have their own standing – They were tertiary characters, They moved the plot forward a little in parts but that was it really.
The overall conundrum of this book is that Josha and everyone else has come to conclusion that while Gem cherished Josha as a friend, everything else about their relationship was due to Gem’s boredom and loneliness. Even Gem believed this at the time but the thing was this strictly wasn’t true. He had talked himself up into a frenzy so much that he wasn’t allowing himself to be who he truly was and for him Josha is really tied up into his identity as a human being. By the time Gem has come to the conclusion that he is genuinely in love with this man, he has been scared away by his mother, he has dived into addiction and self-loathing and has nothing left to give. He hit his rock bottom. This story started with Gem dying at the bottom of gutter and finally asking for help.
Thankyou so much to A.K.Blythe for providing me with an ARC copy of this book. This series has been an absolute joy and if you’re asking this one has definitely been my favourite (they just get better and better). Your characters are so complex and yet pure and I have been so happy to come along with you on this journey of releasing your first series! I can’t wait to see what you write for us next!
Let’s start at the beginning. Gem and Josha meet when Gem’s family travelling Big Top move in to the next lot to Josha’s family trailer. They instantly become best friends. Gem seemly has it all, his family are happy, his parents are thriving running the big top together with him and his siter Milla are training to become future acts. Josha is an theoretical ocean away, He lives in a mobile home with his alcoholic father, absent mother, older twin sisters and younger brother who he is responsible for a lot of the time. Josha start’s spending all his free time at the big top with Gem and learning the stage hand trade from Gem’s dad Hals.
The two’s lives become instantly intertwined, connected in a way which I think is obvious to everyone but them. They are very co-dependent, a fact that become very clear when Shilo, Gem’s Mum leaves his dad to be with a women who she has fallen in love with. This is pretty much the first domino of Gems life descending into darkness and the beginning of him starting to lean heavily on Josha. At the same time Josha is struggling with the fact that he is yet to tell his best friend that he is gay, and that Gem is straight and that on some level he knows he’s in love with Gem but continues to write this off as teenage feelings. Due to the circumstances from both their families, they both end up travelling with big top and become more reliant on one and other than ever before.
“I’m gay” I blurt. “After one kiss? I didn’t even use my tongue.”
Let’s start on Gem because he is the most obvious problematic creature in this book. I think it’s safe to say he is an unreliable narrator at some points at least. Even when Shilo initially leaves, I don’t feel like this was a brisk as it felt to him. She gave him the option as she knew he would prefer to stay with Hals and with Josha but Gem frames this as more ‘My mum claimed Milla but not me’. I’m not saying I would not be furious at her in his shoes but this is very much the perspective of an angry upset and confused teenage boy. This continues into his older years. He can acknowledge that he likes flirting and is jealous of Josha’s romantic interests, even him losing his virginity out of spite but in the same breath writes it all off because he knows he isn’t gay or bi. Is this just a lack of understanding himself? Is there so much going on in his head that he has little time to think about anything that isn’t happening in the right here and now? Does he think he isn’t allowed to have more of Josha because he does not fit into the correct category?
His continues confusion was very apparent on the page. I don’t think Gem can be considered cogent in his reasoning until his final return. For this reason, I really enjoyed the parallels between the two timelines, they more often than not giving Gem a dose of his own medicine. While I love Gem, this is really something he needed. His mum returning to big top with Cheyanne and Milla in line with him returning to the very same place, Him leaving for college as Josha is preparing to move to Colorado. This is very much not something that goes over his head, by the current timeline Gem is very aware of everything. He is lucid to everything he has done and everything that was done to him.
As for Josha, I think he is contradiction within himself. He is so strong and such a staple but at the same time you can plainly see the emotion within him, everything he is not saying, his fears, his wants, his needs, everything that he repressed. I think part of why they become so intertwined is because Josha is desperate for proper parental figures and when he gets them in the form of Hals and Shilo, he will do all he can to stay there. Gem’s family absorbed Josha in a way that I think is probably common on Big Top culture but also, they would do this in any line of work because their son loves him.
Regarding Josha’s actually parents. His dad, I expected nothing from. He got what he deserved in the end and that was that but the mother. Why is she not on her knees beginning for forgiveness? She may not have been the catalysis for this mess but she neglected her children point blank. I get she became what she did in order to survive but that not how it is anymore and she just stayed the same emotionless wall. The fact the Josha is a fully fledged, contributing member of society is something he does not get enough credit for. He is by far my favourite characters in this entire series. Even the thought of him pulls at my heart strings. He didn’t deserve to suffer in silence for all those years, walking on eggshells, terrified of disappointing anyone and everyone. I could not be happier for his happiness.
“Who is he to you, Gem?” “He’s Josha”.
I have a million more things to say about this book in no specific order so forgive me while I bounce around and ramble for a bit. I would have loved more time with Hals. Everything we hear about him is second hand, We hear of all these wonderful acts of service and his perseverance (a trait in which I think has been passed down to Josha) yet we rarely see it first hand like we do with Shilo and Cheyanne. Despite this, he just shines through on the page, he is very clearly the best type of man and I wanted to see more of that. The lack of information from him during his and Shilo’s split says a lot. Yes, it does seem like Shilo is treating Hals like dog shit but at the end of the day, he is an adult man who has agreed to these circumstances. We have no idea if he felt like this was his only choice or if this is something he truly wanted. We don’t know this because parents shield kids from the inner turmoil of their relationship breaking down.
I can’t really land on a specific emotion on how I feel about Jeremy. I’ve gone back and forth on him about 25 different times. Being ‘twitchy’ about someone’s sexuality just doesn’t sit right with me, especially when that someone gave up a big chunk of their life to raise you when they were still a child themselves. In the end, him standing up to Gem did give him a lot of ground but for me I think he’s sitting in the category of ‘Douche’. I feel like I need to mention Josha’s sisters but Hannah and Rachael we’re very interchangeable, they didn’t really have their own standing – They were tertiary characters, They moved the plot forward a little in parts but that was it really.
The overall conundrum of this book is that Josha and everyone else has come to conclusion that while Gem cherished Josha as a friend, everything else about their relationship was due to Gem’s boredom and loneliness. Even Gem believed this at the time but the thing was this strictly wasn’t true. He had talked himself up into a frenzy so much that he wasn’t allowing himself to be who he truly was and for him Josha is really tied up into his identity as a human being. By the time Gem has come to the conclusion that he is genuinely in love with this man, he has been scared away by his mother, he has dived into addiction and self-loathing and has nothing left to give. He hit his rock bottom. This story started with Gem dying at the bottom of gutter and finally asking for help.
Thankyou so much to A.K.Blythe for providing me with an ARC copy of this book. This series has been an absolute joy and if you’re asking this one has definitely been my favourite (they just get better and better). Your characters are so complex and yet pure and I have been so happy to come along with you on this journey of releasing your first series! I can’t wait to see what you write for us next!
November 16, 2025
Woah. Okay. There’s just something magical about friends-to-lovers it gets me every time, but this one, this one right here owns me now. It’s attached to my soul and is lingering in my heart. It didn’t just break me. It unrevealed me deliberately and beautifully. Every single thread that was unrevealed was stitched back together in the most heart-wrenching way.
This book highlights struggles of addiction, recovery, growth, healing, self-discovery, redemption and unconditional love. The depth in these pages was breathtakingly beautiful. The writing was stunning, and the character development was absolutely flawless.
Gem and Josha’s journey is difficult, Yet, against all odds everything aligns like two magnets drawn inevitably toward each other after too long on different wave lengths. Josha always believed the version of gem he first saw from the beginning had never truly disappeared he was waiting for him to find his way home.
Highly recommend reading this book. It will break you, fix you and have you more addicted page by page. One of my top reads ever.
This book highlights struggles of addiction, recovery, growth, healing, self-discovery, redemption and unconditional love. The depth in these pages was breathtakingly beautiful. The writing was stunning, and the character development was absolutely flawless.
Gem and Josha’s journey is difficult, Yet, against all odds everything aligns like two magnets drawn inevitably toward each other after too long on different wave lengths. Josha always believed the version of gem he first saw from the beginning had never truly disappeared he was waiting for him to find his way home.
Highly recommend reading this book. It will break you, fix you and have you more addicted page by page. One of my top reads ever.
October 14, 2025
MM Romance
Addiction/Recovery
Docking/C*ckwarming
Circus life
Virgin MMC
Found Family
‼️ PLEASE CHECK TRIGGERS. THIS BOOK COVERS TOUGH TOPICS‼️
1️⃣ **Overall Rating:** ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
2️⃣ **Overview/Synopsis:**: Josha is in love with his childhood best friend since 13. His straight and broken best friend who only knows how to break his heart and run away. Gem doesn’t want to ruin the one perfect thing in his life; Josha. Even if all he does is break him a little more every time he runs.
3️⃣ **Favorite Character:**: I really loved Gem and all his beautiful brokenness. And he has killer tattoos.
4️⃣ **Most Memorable Scene:**: The club scene with Benji. Or the last Truck scene. I can’t be forced to choose.
5️⃣ **Favorite Quote or Line:**: “Sure. But seeing him in your house still makes me want to wrap my fist in your hair and face-fuck you into submission.”
6️⃣ **Overall Review Summary:**: THIS BOOK. Holy cow I knew this would be a great book, but I didn’t think it could over take Unlocked Dive. This is absolutely a top 5 for the year, Blythe deserves medals for this.
I seem to be on a kick for broken boys with addiction struggles. Gem is struggling with the past he left behind and tries to drown it or snort it away. We get to see him at his lowest and we get to see him grow and want sobriety for himself. Even if I think he should have had to work harder for Josha’s forgiveness. Blythe did a wonderful job writing a believable and inspiring tale of addiction and its demons. But also what recovery can look like, it isn’t all roses and sunshine.
I loved the past vs present chapters. You get to see the glimpses of how they grew up, you felt the way Josha falls in love with this chaotic boy and all that he is. You also see how Gem is so oblivious to the fact that he’s his own worst enemy and he never needed to run.
The SPICE IS SPICIN’. Please be warned, you need puppy pads for this book! Blythe writes some of the hottest smut I have read. There’s a scene in a club that I absolutely had to pause and fan myself as I read it. And there’s a wetsuit scene, and a…..you get the point. It’s absolutely delish. You will not be dissatisfied with this read. And if you haven’t read Unlocked Dive, well you need to read that as well.
Addiction/Recovery
Docking/C*ckwarming
Circus life
Virgin MMC
Found Family
‼️ PLEASE CHECK TRIGGERS. THIS BOOK COVERS TOUGH TOPICS‼️
1️⃣ **Overall Rating:** ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
2️⃣ **Overview/Synopsis:**: Josha is in love with his childhood best friend since 13. His straight and broken best friend who only knows how to break his heart and run away. Gem doesn’t want to ruin the one perfect thing in his life; Josha. Even if all he does is break him a little more every time he runs.
3️⃣ **Favorite Character:**: I really loved Gem and all his beautiful brokenness. And he has killer tattoos.
4️⃣ **Most Memorable Scene:**: The club scene with Benji. Or the last Truck scene. I can’t be forced to choose.
5️⃣ **Favorite Quote or Line:**: “Sure. But seeing him in your house still makes me want to wrap my fist in your hair and face-fuck you into submission.”
6️⃣ **Overall Review Summary:**: THIS BOOK. Holy cow I knew this would be a great book, but I didn’t think it could over take Unlocked Dive. This is absolutely a top 5 for the year, Blythe deserves medals for this.
I seem to be on a kick for broken boys with addiction struggles. Gem is struggling with the past he left behind and tries to drown it or snort it away. We get to see him at his lowest and we get to see him grow and want sobriety for himself. Even if I think he should have had to work harder for Josha’s forgiveness. Blythe did a wonderful job writing a believable and inspiring tale of addiction and its demons. But also what recovery can look like, it isn’t all roses and sunshine.
I loved the past vs present chapters. You get to see the glimpses of how they grew up, you felt the way Josha falls in love with this chaotic boy and all that he is. You also see how Gem is so oblivious to the fact that he’s his own worst enemy and he never needed to run.
The SPICE IS SPICIN’. Please be warned, you need puppy pads for this book! Blythe writes some of the hottest smut I have read. There’s a scene in a club that I absolutely had to pause and fan myself as I read it. And there’s a wetsuit scene, and a…..you get the point. It’s absolutely delish. You will not be dissatisfied with this read. And if you haven’t read Unlocked Dive, well you need to read that as well.
November 7, 2025
A love letter to persons with addiction and the people who love them.
It was my utmost honor and privilege to have a front row seat for the writing and birthing of this book.
There are no words adequate to describe the depth of feeling and emotion and compersion I feel over the depiction of what is one of the hardest challenges to a relationship...loving someone with addiction.
Catcher's Lock is a love letter not just to those who love someone with addiction, but also to the person battling it...like any other chronic condition, persons who live with addiction are worthy and deserving of love and care and a life of good and beautiful things amidst the hard and the hurt.
A.K. Blythe has written a gut-wrenching, heart-aching, soul-rending portrayal of a lifelong friendship that over the years turns into something lasting and beautiful, not in spite of hardship, because of it.
Is it incendiary level spice? No question. Are there "I love yous"? Most definitely. Will you cry? If you don't, I question your humanity. Is there an HEA? YES. Gods yes.
Run, do not walk, to have your heart shattered and mended back together again. I promise it is worth the hurt.
It was my utmost honor and privilege to have a front row seat for the writing and birthing of this book.
There are no words adequate to describe the depth of feeling and emotion and compersion I feel over the depiction of what is one of the hardest challenges to a relationship...loving someone with addiction.
Catcher's Lock is a love letter not just to those who love someone with addiction, but also to the person battling it...like any other chronic condition, persons who live with addiction are worthy and deserving of love and care and a life of good and beautiful things amidst the hard and the hurt.
A.K. Blythe has written a gut-wrenching, heart-aching, soul-rending portrayal of a lifelong friendship that over the years turns into something lasting and beautiful, not in spite of hardship, because of it.
Is it incendiary level spice? No question. Are there "I love yous"? Most definitely. Will you cry? If you don't, I question your humanity. Is there an HEA? YES. Gods yes.
Run, do not walk, to have your heart shattered and mended back together again. I promise it is worth the hurt.
November 6, 2025
This one hurt is the best way. I just love me a broken boy. Josha and Gem are best friends and Josha has been in love with Gem forever. Both are fighting demons but Gem turns to drugs, alcohol and sex to numb the pain. He runs out on Josha and his family for two years without a word of how he's doing. He finally wants to come back and show Josha that he wants to be with him. He just never felt good enough for him. Gem has a rough go at sobriety but Josha supports him all the way. Their happily ever after was hard fought but they loved and supported each other fully throughout everything.
October 17, 2025
These two!
Broken men finding wholeness is one of my favorite tropes. I think it’s the emotional depth and realness of people finding healing that I’m attracted to. It feels like real life, they are real people because it’s how real people feel: unworthy, like they don’t measure up, hopeful, stubbornly forgiving, secretly in love..
Or maybe that’s just me.
They felt like real people. I connected with them both.
No 3rd act break up!
And the spice! One of theses fellas has a dirty mouth and I loved it.
Broken men finding wholeness is one of my favorite tropes. I think it’s the emotional depth and realness of people finding healing that I’m attracted to. It feels like real life, they are real people because it’s how real people feel: unworthy, like they don’t measure up, hopeful, stubbornly forgiving, secretly in love..
Or maybe that’s just me.
They felt like real people. I connected with them both.
No 3rd act break up!
And the spice! One of theses fellas has a dirty mouth and I loved it.
October 27, 2025
Just when i thought A.K couldn't make me love a book more, she whirls in like a tornado and wreacks havoc on my emotions. This book has me sobbing at my workplace, wanting to curl into a ball and refusing to do my work. Josha and Gem have imprinted a special part in my heart and i am NOT OK. Even with the PERFECT HEA, i am BROKEN from their heart lurching story. I love them so much 😭😭😭😭😭
if you haven't read A.K Blythes work yet, you are sorely missing out.
if you haven't read A.K Blythes work yet, you are sorely missing out.
November 12, 2025
My god. Stop what you are doing right now and RUN to pick up this book. It is amazing - SO beautifully written, 3 dimensional characters that you can’t help but love and an amazing heartbreaking (but puts it back together again) story. Ten million stars. Can’t wait to see what is next from this author!
October 11, 2025
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️
Oh god I’m gonna throw up that was so beautiful and I don’t want it to ever be over. I could read about these two until the end of time. Give me a million stories just like this one and I could die happy. This was heartbreaking, healing, and just absolutely everything I needed it to be. Full RTC when I get my feelings in check 🥲
—————————
I’ve been an ARC reader for every book in this series, and they have just gotten better and better.. if you were here when I read Unlocked Dive, you’ll know that book RUINED me and put me back together. Well, I did NOT see Catcher’s Lock coming in as my new favourite, but here we are. IM SORRY BYRD, I LOVE YOU STILL!
I have a tough time with books where an MC struggles with addiction / recovery.. but of course AK could write one that had me swooning, loving, hurting, and healing. And I’m so happy. Gem quickly stole my heart and put it back together, and his full circle moment? Had me in tears.
I could go on and on about these two for ages. But please, just pick it up. You won’t regret it. It was beautiful, it was painful, and it was stunning (and spicy as heck). Wetsuits? I’ll never look at them the same again 😅
I ate up every word of this story, and I’m so sad it’s over. I could reread a book like this over and over and never get sick of it. Give me 10 more Gem’s and Josha’s and I’m a happy girl. No notes. No complaints. All love.
Please check TWs as there are some heavy topics and your mental health matters.
🎪 childhood friends to lovers (eventually)
🎪 bi-awakening
🎪 addiction / recovery
🎪 hurt / comfort
🎪 cat daddies
🎪 “it’s always been you”
🎪 virgin MMC
🎪 somno
🎪 🍑🔌
🎪 pining forever
🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️
Oh god I’m gonna throw up that was so beautiful and I don’t want it to ever be over. I could read about these two until the end of time. Give me a million stories just like this one and I could die happy. This was heartbreaking, healing, and just absolutely everything I needed it to be. Full RTC when I get my feelings in check 🥲
—————————
I’ve been an ARC reader for every book in this series, and they have just gotten better and better.. if you were here when I read Unlocked Dive, you’ll know that book RUINED me and put me back together. Well, I did NOT see Catcher’s Lock coming in as my new favourite, but here we are. IM SORRY BYRD, I LOVE YOU STILL!
I have a tough time with books where an MC struggles with addiction / recovery.. but of course AK could write one that had me swooning, loving, hurting, and healing. And I’m so happy. Gem quickly stole my heart and put it back together, and his full circle moment? Had me in tears.
I could go on and on about these two for ages. But please, just pick it up. You won’t regret it. It was beautiful, it was painful, and it was stunning (and spicy as heck). Wetsuits? I’ll never look at them the same again 😅
I ate up every word of this story, and I’m so sad it’s over. I could reread a book like this over and over and never get sick of it. Give me 10 more Gem’s and Josha’s and I’m a happy girl. No notes. No complaints. All love.
Please check TWs as there are some heavy topics and your mental health matters.
🎪 childhood friends to lovers (eventually)
🎪 bi-awakening
🎪 addiction / recovery
🎪 hurt / comfort
🎪 cat daddies
🎪 “it’s always been you”
🎪 virgin MMC
🎪 somno
🎪 🍑🔌
🎪 pining forever
October 13, 2025
Josha an Gemiah 😍
I absolutely loved this book! the hurt both men have... the connection they found again after years apart, the up and downs
I adored it! my heart felt so much for these men!
AK blythe just knows how to write a good hurt/comfort book 😍
I absolutely loved this book! the hurt both men have... the connection they found again after years apart, the up and downs
I adored it! my heart felt so much for these men!
AK blythe just knows how to write a good hurt/comfort book 😍
November 6, 2025
I got an arc, but my rating/review are my own!
review coming soon...
review coming soon...
November 8, 2025
Oh wow, this book! As you know, "friends to lovers" is one of my favorite topic. And this story offers me everything I need! Emotions, pain, suffering, love ❤️, trust, second chances, and spice🔥🌶️! Seeing how Josha, despite all his mistakes and shortcomings, chooses Gemiah wholeheartedly without giving up on himself—and seeing how Gemiah struggles to find himself again and thus his way back to Josha—is simply incredibly moving! Difficult topics such as addiction, self-love, and family trauma are treated with great sensitivity and touch me deeply! The story is captivating and stays with you for a long time. The circus setting enchants you and transports you to another world! I absolutely loved reading this book and can only recommend it to you 🎪!
November 7, 2025
Watch me, love me, give me everything, Rocket.
I’ve been impatiently waiting this book since finishing Unlocked Dive. Quietly stalking A.K. Blythe socials, eating up every tease and scrap she dropped along the writing journey. I knew we were going to be shattered and put back together in this book, but I was not ready for the emotional turmoil Blythe put us through with these broken boys. I just need a hug or I need to give hug? Wrap these sweet babies in a burrito and keep them safe and whole. Protect both of them at all cost, and let them heal each other and become the men they want to be.
Phew Gem you truly were a disaster. A tornado of emotions you didn’t know how to deal with, so you hid, buried, and wiped them out. Never believing you were enough for Josha or your family. It was a lot, reading his downward spiral into addiction, and watching him struggle to get clean. For himself, but also for Josha his best friend and boy he has loved for longer than he allowed himself to acknowledge.
And poor baby Josha, like he didn’t go through enough with an alcoholic father and emotionally unavailable mom. For fall for his childhood best friend and watch as he fell to the same destructive patterns he grew up with. Blythe did an amazing job capturing what this looks like. Wanting nothing more than to be with your person even as they self destruct. Letting go, but never actually being able to move on. Hope the person you love the most can see the other side, but preparing your heart for the possibility that you will loose them. IT. WAS. ROUGH. Of course we are given their HEA it just takes a lot of work and patience.
And yes in case you are wondering it’s not all heartbreak. We are blessed with emotionally charged dirty talk and all the spice we know and love from this series. Now I am left to ponder who will be book 4?
November 6, 2025
I signed up for this book as an ARC because I was curious about the entire storyline so I read the previous book (Echo and Bryd) and I loved those two characters.
These two precious boys have my heart. Gem and Josha were the perfect example of young love heartbreak finding each other again at different stages in life and then FINALLY getting their hard fought win.
We got to see some other characters from the previous books and I loved the little portion of echo and Jim when they were out.
I think the epilogue was perfectly written it summed up all of the loose ends and gave you the happily ever after that you wanted for Gem and Josha.
I honestly could read another series with these characters and the unique setting of circus life.
These two precious boys have my heart. Gem and Josha were the perfect example of young love heartbreak finding each other again at different stages in life and then FINALLY getting their hard fought win.
We got to see some other characters from the previous books and I loved the little portion of echo and Jim when they were out.
I think the epilogue was perfectly written it summed up all of the loose ends and gave you the happily ever after that you wanted for Gem and Josha.
I honestly could read another series with these characters and the unique setting of circus life.
December 16, 2025
If you are looking for angst, with a side of angst, pick up a book by Blythe.
Of course I loved this and of course it made me feel the feels. My babies Josha and Gem deserve the world, and they'll get it...just after that world has tossed them around four or five times.
Blythe is a master at creating broken characters who want a special broken someone, while they really shouldn't be wanting anyone at all because they need to heal. And yet, it always just works.
You can feel the history and easy friendship between Gem and Josha while also choking on the sexual tension. These two complement one another so well, and boy are they hot together.
Let yourself feel all the emotions whilst reading, and just trust Blythe, because the ending is always well worth the heartache. (also, the cameo was so fun!)
Also, with each book, I grow more in love with Blythe's actual writing, which is beautiful and evocative.
I highly recommend this book and the series.
Thank you to the author for the opportunity to read an ARC.
Of course I loved this and of course it made me feel the feels. My babies Josha and Gem deserve the world, and they'll get it...just after that world has tossed them around four or five times.
Blythe is a master at creating broken characters who want a special broken someone, while they really shouldn't be wanting anyone at all because they need to heal. And yet, it always just works.
You can feel the history and easy friendship between Gem and Josha while also choking on the sexual tension. These two complement one another so well, and boy are they hot together.
Let yourself feel all the emotions whilst reading, and just trust Blythe, because the ending is always well worth the heartache. (also, the cameo was so fun!)
Also, with each book, I grow more in love with Blythe's actual writing, which is beautiful and evocative.
I highly recommend this book and the series.
Thank you to the author for the opportunity to read an ARC.
October 7, 2025
Where do I even begin? I’m reeling and in my feels, so this may take a moment. First, let’s start with: I’ve had the honor and privilege to be able to ARC read this book in exchange for my honest review. Let’s just dive headfirst.
♾️⭐️’s!!!!!! (YOU READ IT RIGHT - INFINITY MOTHER EFFIN’ STARS).
This book was absolutely BEAUTIFUL. You can TELL the care, the thought, the emotions, and the heart this author put into their story. She didn’t “shy away” from the brutality that is/was addiction and recovery. She didn’t try to put a pretty little bow on their story and say “oh. Well, this man’s love (Josha) is going to fix it all for him (Gem) because love conquers all.” NOPE. AK Blythe gave you raw, gritty, REAL experiences, with a realistic, tangible romance and ALLLLLLL the feels. So, STANDING OVATION AK because that was PERFECTION.
Josha…our beautiful Rocket.. what can I say about him? Growing up as a child of an addict, he saw firsthand and had to live through it all, on how addiction can truly harm a family and the individuals it affects. I loved how many layers of Josha there was. Yes, he didn’t like his dad and didn’t have the best relationship with him at times. He had an innate fear of “becoming his dad” and refused to “be like his parents.” But it didn’t take away that he loved his dad. He felt guilty for thinking (when he was younger) how fun his dad was when he was drunk because he had created memories with a version of his dad he could keep forever. It doesn’t negate the addiction or the hurt and pain, but man…Josha admitting it was beautiful. Then for him to fall for his best friend, and watch the same signs and red flags appear…ugh it broke my heart. The guilt he felt about going along with some of it when he was younger, tore me open. Josha went through so much heartbreak and hurt…I just wanted to wrap him up in my arms and tell him he was doing his best.
Gem…”Star-Lord”/Quill…my beautiful fighter… he had me in a chokehold. He never believed he was enough. He always felt “less than” and like the “family eff up.” He felt like he wasn’t deserving of all the love and attention Josha gave him, but he couldn’t let him go either. He had a really hard life and a lot of things happened that pushed him to find “solace” in drinking/drugs. There were so many times I found myself wanting to shake his parents (as a mom myself) because there were so many missed opportunities. There were so many times they could have intervened, paid more attention, and give Gem the love and reassurance he needed. But as a parent, I know this doesn’t come with instruction manuals. I know how tough it can be, especially living the busy life they lived. I loved how Gem’s mom took accountability. I love how Gem recognized what was “hurt teenage childish behavior” and where he went wrong. Accountability in this book was STRONG and I loved it. I found myself wanting to koala hug Gem so tight and tell him over and over again how much he is loved, how deserving he was, and how much he mattered.
*Cue tears*
Loving an addict is hard. Watching someone you love destroy themselves is hard. BEING an addict is hard. There are so many multi-faceted layers that others who have never experienced it, don’t get. AK Blythe showed the mental burden, the spiral, the physical symptoms, etc. she showed this illness in its truest form and I can’t thank her enough. Gem recognizing that Josha can’t fix him; that HE would need to put in the work to be the very best version of himself… the fact that he called Josha for help???? TEARS. The vulnerability in the scene where Gem asked Josha to “trust him” when doing the catchers lock!? And what that vulnerability and significance meant?????? SOBBING!!!!!!
The epilogue was even more beautiful because it showed the reality of addiction/recovery. It’s not without relapses and hard times/spirals. It’s about “getting back on the wagon” and continuing to fight. It definitely helps that Josha remained a constant figure in Gem’s life. I truly don’t know what else to say except that this book was perfection. It’s by far my favorite in the series. AK did amazing at balancing the spice and the raw emotions/story. I didn’t want to put this book down and let me tell you…there’s something so satisfying about a hard fought/earned HEA. 🥹
This book is now my favorite in the whole series. I have Gem and Josha wedged into my heart. I will still be thinking about this book many months later (I’m sure). This has been promoted to my comfort read.
I wish the author nothing but the absolute BEST on her upcoming release! You made magic with this one AK!! 💜💜💜💜
♾️⭐️’s!!!!!! (YOU READ IT RIGHT - INFINITY MOTHER EFFIN’ STARS).
This book was absolutely BEAUTIFUL. You can TELL the care, the thought, the emotions, and the heart this author put into their story. She didn’t “shy away” from the brutality that is/was addiction and recovery. She didn’t try to put a pretty little bow on their story and say “oh. Well, this man’s love (Josha) is going to fix it all for him (Gem) because love conquers all.” NOPE. AK Blythe gave you raw, gritty, REAL experiences, with a realistic, tangible romance and ALLLLLLL the feels. So, STANDING OVATION AK because that was PERFECTION.
Josha…our beautiful Rocket.. what can I say about him? Growing up as a child of an addict, he saw firsthand and had to live through it all, on how addiction can truly harm a family and the individuals it affects. I loved how many layers of Josha there was. Yes, he didn’t like his dad and didn’t have the best relationship with him at times. He had an innate fear of “becoming his dad” and refused to “be like his parents.” But it didn’t take away that he loved his dad. He felt guilty for thinking (when he was younger) how fun his dad was when he was drunk because he had created memories with a version of his dad he could keep forever. It doesn’t negate the addiction or the hurt and pain, but man…Josha admitting it was beautiful. Then for him to fall for his best friend, and watch the same signs and red flags appear…ugh it broke my heart. The guilt he felt about going along with some of it when he was younger, tore me open. Josha went through so much heartbreak and hurt…I just wanted to wrap him up in my arms and tell him he was doing his best.
Gem…”Star-Lord”/Quill…my beautiful fighter… he had me in a chokehold. He never believed he was enough. He always felt “less than” and like the “family eff up.” He felt like he wasn’t deserving of all the love and attention Josha gave him, but he couldn’t let him go either. He had a really hard life and a lot of things happened that pushed him to find “solace” in drinking/drugs. There were so many times I found myself wanting to shake his parents (as a mom myself) because there were so many missed opportunities. There were so many times they could have intervened, paid more attention, and give Gem the love and reassurance he needed. But as a parent, I know this doesn’t come with instruction manuals. I know how tough it can be, especially living the busy life they lived. I loved how Gem’s mom took accountability. I love how Gem recognized what was “hurt teenage childish behavior” and where he went wrong. Accountability in this book was STRONG and I loved it. I found myself wanting to koala hug Gem so tight and tell him over and over again how much he is loved, how deserving he was, and how much he mattered.
*Cue tears*
Loving an addict is hard. Watching someone you love destroy themselves is hard. BEING an addict is hard. There are so many multi-faceted layers that others who have never experienced it, don’t get. AK Blythe showed the mental burden, the spiral, the physical symptoms, etc. she showed this illness in its truest form and I can’t thank her enough. Gem recognizing that Josha can’t fix him; that HE would need to put in the work to be the very best version of himself… the fact that he called Josha for help???? TEARS. The vulnerability in the scene where Gem asked Josha to “trust him” when doing the catchers lock!? And what that vulnerability and significance meant?????? SOBBING!!!!!!
The epilogue was even more beautiful because it showed the reality of addiction/recovery. It’s not without relapses and hard times/spirals. It’s about “getting back on the wagon” and continuing to fight. It definitely helps that Josha remained a constant figure in Gem’s life. I truly don’t know what else to say except that this book was perfection. It’s by far my favorite in the series. AK did amazing at balancing the spice and the raw emotions/story. I didn’t want to put this book down and let me tell you…there’s something so satisfying about a hard fought/earned HEA. 🥹
This book is now my favorite in the whole series. I have Gem and Josha wedged into my heart. I will still be thinking about this book many months later (I’m sure). This has been promoted to my comfort read.
I wish the author nothing but the absolute BEST on her upcoming release! You made magic with this one AK!! 💜💜💜💜
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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