Bargaining for Advantage: Negotiation Strategies for Reasonable People

by G. Richard Shell

BRAND NEW FOR 2019: A fully revised and updated edition of the quintessential guide for learning to negotiate effectively in every part of your life
 
"A must read for everyone seeking to master negotiation. This newly updated classic just got even better."--Robert Cialdini, bestselling author of  Influence  and  Pre-Suasion

As director of the world-renowned Wharton Executive Negotiation Workshop, Professor G. Richard Shell has taught thousands of business leaders, lawyers, administrators, and other professionals how to survive and thrive in the sometimes rough-and-tumble world of negotiation. In the third edition of this internationally acclaimed book, he brings to life his systematic, step-by-step approach, built around negotiating effectively as who you are, not who you think you need to be. Shell combines lively stories about world-class negotiators from J. P. Morgan to Mahatma Gandhi with proven bargaining advice based on the latest research into negotiation and neuroscience. This updated edition includes :

This updated edition
· An easy-to-take "Negotiation I.Q." test that reveals your unique strengths as a negotiator
· A brand new chapter on reliable moves to use when you are short on bargaining power or stuck at an impasse
· Insights on how to succeed when you negotiate online
· Research on how gender and cultural differences can derail negotiations, and advice for putting relationships back on track

Genres: Business, Nonfiction, Communication, Psychology, Self Help, Management, Personal Development

304 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1999

About the author

G. Richard Shell is the Thomas Gerrity Professor of Legal Studies, Business Ethics, and Management at the Wharton School of Business. His latest book, The Conscience Code: Lead with Your Values. Advance Your Career, is the essential guide to creating and maintaining ethical, speak-up cultures at work. His Springboard: Launching Your Personal Search for Success (Penguin/Portfolio 2013), was named Business Book of Year for 2013 by the largest business bookseller in the United States. Shell is the Director of Wharton’s Executive Negotiation Workshop and its Strategic Persuasion Workshop and has taught everyone from Navy SEALs, UN diplomats, and Fortune 500 CEOs to FBI hostage negotiators, emergency room nurses, and front-line public school teachers. His earlier works include the award-winning Bargaining for Advantage: Negotiation Strategies for Reasonable People (2nd Edition, Penguin 2006)and (with co-author Mario Moussa) The Art of Woo: Using Strategic Persuasion to Sell Your Ideas (Portfolio/Penguin 2007). His books have sold over 500,000 copies and are available in over seventeen languages.

Reviews

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this really insightful, and it provides a strong foundation for how to negotiate in professional and personal contexts. What I really liked about this book is that there are no tricks: Shell's theory of bargaining is that you must (1) prepare through goal-setting and information gathering, (2) listen intently to your counterparts, and (3) respond appropriately to the signals that your counterparts are sending during the bargaining process. He also brings in psychology research that supports his framework.

Key lessons:

* Setting achievable but optimistic goals is vital: Your goals set the upper limit of what you will ask for, so you rarely will exceed that benchmark. The more committed you are to your goal, the more likely you are to obtain it. Write it down! You want to focus on your goal instead of your bottom line, because it will be your key reference point in the negotiation. This also prevents you from making rash decisions during a negotiation that do not serve your ultimate purpose. The fear of loss is a powerful motivating factor, so you have to frame certain aspects of your negotiation as important (through your goal) and be willing to concede on others. Focus in on your goal, and don't let the fear of loss drive your strategy.

* Gain normative leverage through preparation: It rarely works to attack others' standards or accepted norms. If possible, you should research as much as possible to understand those standards, and fit your proposal within them - your counterpart is more likely to be amenable to a framework that they agree with and understand. Data can help when you have qualitative norms that you are working with (for example, "quality care"), because these can be interpreted in different ways.

* Focus on common ground to find additional value: Most of a negotiation is about listening to your counterpart and understanding what their primary interests are. The more information that you can draw out, the more opportunity you will have to increase the total value or complementary interests that exist within the negotiation framework. There is a tendency to jump right to the areas of conflict, but this precludes you from learning about what is most important to your counterpart.

* Leverage is dynamic: Leverage derives from the balance of needs within a negotiation, and it can shift over the course of a conversation. It is also dependent on perception, not on actual facts. You can gain leverage through, again, gaining more information - if you know more about your counterpart's needs, you may discover leverage you did not know you previously had.

* Conflict and concession making drive better outcomes: It is tempting to think of "one fair offer" as a good solution for a negotiation - less time, hassle, and conflict. But you can actually drive more value through engaging in conflict, because it will allow you (again) to uncover additional interests or a solution that works better than compromise. And making concessions makes people feel good! You avoid the winner's curse (that sinking feeling you get when someone accepts your first offer right away), and you build your relationship with the other party. Shell's rule of thumb is to make your biggest concession first, and then reduce them in size until you reach your bottom line.

[Sharon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book made me wonder why I've wasted so much time reading article-length advice on negotiation. Lots of the truisms out there don't apply to every situation, and articles don't usually equip you with enough fundamental understanding to know when to make exceptions and why. Not only does this book explain the concepts so that you can see exceptions for yourself, it also tailors the advice to different personality dispositions.

The most valuable part of this book for me was the quadrant of high- and low-stakes negotiations where relationships do and don't matter -- which, yes, is a little cliched in a business-y way. But the chapter on ethics reassured me that I was reading the right book. The author explains ethics as a personal framework for articulating limits, and discloses that he falls firmly in the camp of idealism (as opposed to the "poker" end of the spectrum), but acknowledges that there are different legitimate conclusions that a reasonable person can draw and describes strategies that work well for both idealists and pragmatists.

This mission statement by the author sums up why I'm glad I read this book: "Many reasonable people have a nagging, uneasy feeling about negotiation. They are anxious about it. The interpersonal conflicts, the possibility of 'leaving money on the table,' the chance they could be 'taken,' and even the thought that they have done 'too well' are all unsettling. Knowledge about the negotiation process and bargaining strategy helps reduce this anxiety and puts you on the road to improved negotiation results."

In the preface, the author acknowledges that gender and race, among other things, can greatly affect how we approach negotiation and which strategies are most effective for each of us to use in the real world. I don't think that he does a very good job of addressing this, but I think the rest of the book is solid enough that I'm willing to look to other books for more socially conscious guidance on those topics.

[Chintushig Tumenbayar · Rating 4 out of 5]

Зөв үедээ энэ номыг олж уншлаа. Наймаалцана гэдэг нөгөө талынхаа хэрэгцээг мэдэрч харилцан ашигтай үйл ажиллагаа явуулах арга барил аж. Энэ явцад мэдэх ёстой хэдэн хэдэн ухагдахуун байгаагаас дурдвал харилцаа хүйтрээд ирвэл яаж сэргээх, хэрхэн аль саналыг нь дэмжиж байгаа нь сонирхолтой мэдүүштэй санагдлаа.

[Courtney · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the best negotation book I've read - it really focuses on maximizing your position in a negotiation while maintaining relationships.

[Bakunin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Do not be so sweet that people will eat you up, nor so bitter that they will spit you out (old Pashto folk saying).

I have always been interested in negotiating as it always seemed like a game you entered into and as long as I kept to that perspective it seemed fun. I lived in Shanghai (when I was 15) and used go to the market each day to negotiate. It seemed impossible to lose (seeing as how I didn't really have anything to lose but everything to learn from the experience). This year however I started my own company and found myself in tough negotiating positions. This forced me into thinking more carefully about strategy and how I should conduct myself in a bargaining situation. What is the optimal outcome?

This is a book about just that. The author basic premise is that you should first know yourself before you can start negotiating with other people. Based on your personality type you can then decide what the best strategy is. There are 5 personality types according to mr. Shell - competitive, cooperative, accommodating, compromising and avoiding. This can be seen as a spectrum where you have a competitive person who likes to win and enjoys conflicts to achieve that goal on one side and a person who will avoid conflict at any cost on the other. (I found my personality type somewhere between competitive and compromising).

Mr. Shells other key tips are: focus on your expectations, use your relationships, probe the other side's interests, and work on your leverage. This is key to achieving the optimal outcome out of any negotiation. This may seem like common sense but you would be surprised how often people forget to use it once they are put in that situation. I have tried to use these tips in order to not become so emotionally involved in the process as to lose sight of my own values. If one is ready to get a few bruises here and there, then I find negotiation a most rewarding experiences as it forces you to lean just beyond your edge.

I will end this review with a quote from John K- O'Loughlin (from some insurance company):
"Most people I play cards with I trust, but I still want to cut the cards"

[Van-Anh Nguyen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some key points I've taken away from this book:
- Better negotiating starts with embracing your authentic strengths

- The best negotiators set optimistic but justifiable expectations

- Appealing to norms helps win negotiations

- Fair, reciprocal relationships are conducive to negotiating, but be careful! Don't let small gifts from the other side lure you into much larger concessions

- You need to know what motivates the other side in a negotiation

- Leverage (all of the particular advantages you have over the other side) is critical to negotiation -> relying on you BATNA

- A little objectivity and one small step can get you out of an impasse (or dead-end). When things aren't going so well and both sides are running out of patience, it's time to find some objectivity.
(1) Pause for a mommet and step outside yourself. Without becoming inexpressive, check your emotions. Are they appropriate in a professional context?
(2) Examine your perceptions. The other side's behavior has nothing to do with their innermost character
(3) Make a small, unambiguous move in the other side's direction. This could be a concession to one of their needs or an acknowledgment of past mistakes. If the response is positive, keep going until tensions have eased, and you'll be back in business.

- 3 different schools of bargaining ethics:
(1) Poker School: negotiation is a game, there are some certain rules to adhere, but deception is acceptable, even, is admired, as long as it's effective
(2) Pragmatist School: Lying is still acceptable, but is avoided as much as possible, and trying to find better alternatives is top-prioritized.
(3) Idealist School: Negotiations are serious, consequential acts, not to be treated like a game. People should never lie , whatever the circumstance.

Small but very powerful tool: To get things off to a good start, you could place an object on the table that signifies your commitment to - and understanding of - the other side. Perhaps that's a cuddly toy that mirrors the company logo, or a food offering that is also a clever pun on their name. This will preemptively defuse any negotiation that promises to be a tense affair.

[Victoria Zabuzova · Rating 5 out of 5]

How comfortable are you to bargaining? Me - not so great. But this book inspired me to push myself feeling more comfortable with this inevitable, very human activity. It is really profound, structured, and practical, suggesting guidance into negotiation process - from preparation to closure and even some ethics.

[Hanna Newby]

i want to thank my multi-party negotiations professor for assigning this. excellent reading challenge padding

[Tal]

I read this book for law school and if I didn't have a reading challenge to meet it would not be added here, but a girls got to do what a girls got to do.

[Kayleigh Cowan · Rating 2 out of 5]

had to read it for class and yup its a book

[eloiza]

the author self-reportedly became a pacificist during the Vietnam War, which “literally severed the narrative thread of [his] life, leading [him] to a prolonged search during which [he] traveled overland across the Middle East and Asia seeking the secure anchor [he] had lost when [he] broke with [his] family and its traditions.” this admission shocked me when juxtaposed with the several examples used in his book that implied support for Zioinism. while the expertise on negotiation is clear, I ended up skimming the last half as I found myself increasingly frustrated with the framing and examples used.

this is still probably the most actual impactful text I’ve read on negotation and persuasion, after many years of speech and debate

[Katie Yang · Rating 2 out of 5]

Had to read this for class. Not sure why this book needed to be written...

[Taylorann · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this for my negotiations class in law school.

Shell’s approach to negotiations iss largely personality-based, which I really enjoyed. He emphasized that no matter your background, whether introvert or extrovert, or your career field, negotiation was an important skill that you are capable of cultivating. I enjoyed his overall philosophy, which seemed to be “if you treat people right, they’ll treat you right”. It's less adversarial than most negotiations books. He used the example of the business relationship of Carnegie and Morgan as an example as they became friends when Morgan saved Carnegie from a business mistake, rather than capitalizing on it.

One of the most interesting parts of this book was the – albeit, small – section on Gender and Culture. I will admit that when choosing a book for this class, I first looked to see if any were authored by women and, when none were, had no preference. While this section obviously was written by a man, he incorporated studies and perspectives from women which I really appreciated. The largest takeaway from this section was the impact of stereotypes on women in negotiations. As women are often perceived as empathetic and nurturing, being assertive or aggressive in a negotiation contradicts that stereotype and negatively impacts them. While it was nice to see the inclusion of such studies in the book, Shell ruins it by inserting his own advice. I found his advice to be rather weak and, frankly, just as disappointing as any advice given to women by men about gender discrimination typically is. Shell gives four different suggestions for negotiators who feel that gender-based stereotypes are getting in the way: 1) Move beyond stereotypes in your own personal development agenda, 2) Negotiate as an advocate to others, 3) Pause before you act, and 4) to preempt potential bias, mention a non-stereotypical interest or activity. They all avoid the situation in which a woman is advocating for herself, suggest the best course of action is to minimize femininity to appease biased negotiators, and suggest that by identifying the potential bias in an opponent, women often self-sabotage by acting to oppose those biases. Could be a lot better here.

[kareem · Rating 4 out of 5]

We all negotiate every day. Where to go to the movies, what to eat for dinner, how much to sell your $50M revenue company for, how much your salary will be at your new job, etc. This is a very useful read, focused on breaking down how you can approach negotiations. Most of the advice you will apply only in the higher-stakes negotiations, but it gives you a good framework for how to approach any negotiation. For example, it tells you how to discern situations when you should make the first offer, and when you shouldn't, when to be ruthless, and when not to be, etc. I'd bet that it's one of the best bang-for-the-buck books you'll read all year... I'd bet it'll help you make a few more $$$ the next time you have to negotiate a salary.

[Ishan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good to read for anybody interested in making most of their money they have earned. If you are interested in negotiations improving your negotiation skills this is a great read; skip if you are indifferent to the price you pay.

[Peter Arsenault · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Getting to Yes" calls the concept "Principled Negotiating", while "Bargaining for Advantage" calls it "Integrative Bargaining". They both promote the same idea of negotiating, which is basically: Always look for creative ways to expand the negotiation beyond mere price, or another single issue. But this book goes further than "GTY" in incorporating research into its findings, and delves into the psychology behind why people behave in certain ways while negotiating.

This book has a test in it which supposedly tells you which type of a negotiator you are instinctively, which is very interesting. Are you an accommodator ("We can see the movie you want to see tonight.")? Fiercely competitive (think: used-car salesman and zero-sum games)? Do you prefer to avoid negotiations? Do you look for creative ways to collaboratively solve the problems? Or do you prefer to compromise on most issues ("Let's meet down the middle")?

Shell says that the best negotiators exhibit four habits:
A willingness to prepare. They do their homework, essentially. They seek to understand what the other side truly wants, not just their position or bottom line. Put yourself in the other side's shoes. Why would they reject your proposal? What may make them accept it? What issues may be important to them but are unimportant to me? What can I trade them for?

High expectations. After preparing for any number of possibilities, keep your maximum reasonable position in mind as your goal. Know your bottom line, but DON'T focus your attention on that. Believe in your goal. Arm yourself with reasons to explain this position and why you deserve it. Focus your efforts on getting as close as possible to this goal. Research on negotiation reveals a striking fact: People who expect more generally get more.

The patience to listen. Ask the other side good questions which spring from your preparation. They should be open-ended, and you should really listen to their answers. If they are evasive about a question, you'll glean that they are sensitive about that particular issue. Remember that and what it says about their interests. People generally like to talk, and especially like to talk about themselves. Don't be afraid of remaining silent.

A commitment to personal integrity. In the real-world, you may be tempted to lie. You may even get away with it! But, there's a difference between lying about a fact and lying about an opinion. If I'm selling a car I could say, "I think this year is the best model ever produced of this vehicle! I've loved every second driving it." This is different than responding "no" to the buyer after she asks if the car has ever been in an accident. She can verify that information using car facts. If you are caught in a factual lie, your reputation will suffer, and the relationship with the other party will be soured. Why should they believe any other claims you make? Understand your ethical framework, internalize it, and stick with it through all of your negotiations. You are not required to be an idealist (basically, a saint). Even if you are a saint, you are not required to give up all of your private information. Protect yourself and remain vigilant.

Anyway, this is a fantastic book backed by lots of research and full of citations.

[Kevin Bessey · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books I've ever read on negotiating.

I found "Bargaining for Advantage" most appealing on the basis that Shell wasn't writing to provide you with a tool kit that you can incorporate into your negotiating tool box, but rather he was writing about using the tools you already have to make the best deals and improve your current negotiating abilities.

The book is split into two parts: Negotiation Foundations and Negotiation Process. Part I (Neg. Foundation) was very interesting in how Shell identified five types of negotiators. He also provides an assessment at the back of the book that helps you identify your own personal style. With each type he then offers a profile identifying the strengths and weakness of each style so that you can identify the style(s) that best suits you and then also understand where you're weak in other styles. I found this section of the book to be both enlightening (about my self) and fascinating (about others).

Part II (Neg. Process) is familiar to anyone who has read books on negotiating. He walks through the various types of negotiation and how they relate to relationships, stakes, settings, etc. There wasn't anything groundbreaking here except for the areas where he would link people's negotiating type into the process.

The end of the book dealt with Ethics and implementation of the skills that he discussed throughout the book. This last section was very interesting to better understand the various schools of thought on negotiating: Idealist, Pragmatist, and Poker Player, on how they interact with one another and capture a wide audience of people that you've probably negotiated with in the past. Understanding your own style while learning about other people's style was very insightful and interesting to read about.

Pros: Part I and Ethics sections in learning about your own style of negotiating and how to become a better negotiator with your core beliefs and position.
Cons: Not any major ones, the book felt well edited and organized in a meaningful way.
Bottom line: Highly recommended for anyone to read, especially those that are in the business world or have to do a fair amount of negotiating in your your work and private life.

[Jay Stark · Rating 3 out of 5]

"The best negotiators play it straight, ask a lot of questions, listen carefully, and concentrate on what they and the other party are trying to accomplish."
"In general, your credibility as an influencer comes from people's perceptions of four things: your authority, knowledge, competence derived from real-world experience, and thrustworthiness."
"Do your homework on the culture you're about to negotiate with and use cultural liaisons to help you avoid cross-cultural mistakes."
"The best negotiators follow the next practice: they ask questions, test for understanding, summarize discussions, and listen, listen, listen."
"Effective negotiators are reliable. They keep their promises, avoid lying, and do not raise hopes they have no intention of fulfilling."
"High achievement comes from high goals." - King Ching of Chou
"What is the difference between a simple goal and something that has matured into a genuine expectation? Basically one thing: your attitude."
"When you believe in your goal, you communicate commitment."
"Visualization engages your mind more fully in the achievement process and also raises your level of self-confidence."
"Be prepared for the arguments other parties will advance."
"The party that thinks they have the least to lose has the most leverage."
"The goal of perspective taking is not to increase your empathy for the other side, but to better understand how they perceive the situation, including what they need and perhaps fear."
"Open your ears before you open your mouth."
The anchor effect: make the first opening offer at the highest price on the market, based on your research, support it with good arguments and then lower from that.
"Buyer: Do you have another offer?
Answer: I treat all offers with the greatest respect. I will not discuss an offer you make to me with another buyer, and I would not discuss any offer I received from someone else with you."
"Do not be so sweet that people will eat you up, nor so bitter that they will spit you out." - Pashto Folk Saying
"Effective negotiation is 10% technique and 90% attitude."
"The thief thinks everybody steals."
SYSTEMATIC PREPARATION: Consult appendix C - pag. 227

[Sherri · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Bargaining for Advantage" by G. Richard Shell has been on my to-read list for quite some time, particularly due to its repeated recommendations on CEO Reads for the years 2008, 2009, and 2012. I recently listened to the audiobook version, and it certainly delivered some valuable insights.

The most significant takeaway for me was the emphasis on creating win-win scenarios while maintaining your ethics throughout the negotiation process. Shell’s approach encourages negotiators to seek solutions that benefit all parties involved, which aligns with my belief in fairness and integrity.

However, one aspect that didn't sit well with me was the recognition that lying or deceit is often used as a tactic to gain the upper hand. While this may be common, I firmly disagree with it as a strategy. It's a practice I've long suspected when negotiating with others, and it reinforces the unfortunate reality that many people are more focused on getting their way than genuinely listening to what you have to say.

In the workplace, this issue is further compounded when managers leave negotiations in the hands of employees. This often results in the strongest personality or the craftiest player coming out on top, rather than the best idea or the fairest outcome. It's a disheartening aspect of negotiation that Shell's book helped to clarify, even as it provided tools to navigate these challenges more effectively.

Overall, "Bargaining for Advantage" is a thought-provoking read that offers both practical advice and a deeper understanding of the dynamics at play in negotiations. While I don't agree with all the tactics discussed, the book serves as a valuable resource for anyone looking to improve their negotiation skills while staying true to their values.

[A. J. Shuck · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bargaining for Advantage by G. Richard Shell. This has been the most difficult book I've read /listened to this year. Not because the content itself was boring or that the narration was uninspiring. On the contrary both were very well done! Rather what made this book difficult for me to read was the subject itself. I'm not a very business-minded person (which is why this book is especially good for me) and I have a tendency to feel that all of this is out of my depth. Early on in the book Shell has you take a self-assessment about what kind of a negotiator you are. I wasn't surprised to find myself scoring very high on the avoidance and accommodating factors. I don't like confrontation and I don't like heavy-handed business deals. I don't like selling and I don't like to be sold.

With that as a backdrop to my perspective, it's not surprising that the first part of this book that deals with the principles of negotiation was difficult for me to read. I did much better in the second half of the book that deals more with the "how to" of negotiation. I found it insightful and helpful. Especially with mind to my own business dealings. It helped me see that other people have very different perspectives on negotiation than I do. And it equipped me on how to deal with them to the benefit of both parties.

Overall I would recommend this book to anyone who is looking to do any business of any kind. Business of necessity will have negotiation as part of it. You can't run a business in a vacuum. This is another book that I will be returning to for reference, and guidance in the future I'm sure!

[Chris Boutté · Rating 5 out of 5]

A lot of these older, insanely popular business books are ridiculous, but this one is not that. This is a classic. It reminded me a lot of How to Make Friends and Influence People. It has a ton of practical advice that’s hard to argue with, but in addition to that, the author actually uses some super valuable research to back his arguments. While on it’s surface, it may seem like this is just a book about negotiating to make deals, it’s much more than that, and the author showcases that within the first few pages.

This book starts with a story of how a neighbor girl asked him to buy some cookies or something like that, and he negotiated with her to have her take care of their pet while they were out of town in exchange for buying some cookies. The point being, we’re bargaining and negotiating every single day, and this book has a ton of great strategies that can help. I loved every minute of it and will most likely read it again.

My only issue with the book is how the author references Trump as this amazing deal maker a few times in the book. It’s not excessive, but each time it happened, I rolled my eyes. The book was originally published in 1999, so I won’t fault the author too much. He also ends the book with some important discussions around ethical negotiating, and while I don’t 100% agree with his views, he gives the reader some interesting things to consider when making a deal.

[Adrian Curtin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Without having read too many books on the subject, Bargaining for Advantage is a book which delivers exactly what it claims to. It is a useful tool in understanding aspects of the bargaining and bartering process. The main advantage to this book is that it doesn't portray the negotiation process as a simple problem with one solution, but rather as a complex one with many moving parts and many considerations but no preordained method. In general encouraging the reader to seek two party solutions where mutually beneficial results can be found outside of simply battling for the middle-ground on divisive issues.

For those unfamiliar with negotiation, the book offers some inoculation against strategies that may be used by more experienced parties and generally encourages an ethical approach to both communicating your needs and securing advantageous results. There is nothing outrageous in this book, just reasonable suggestions.

[André La Crout · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good guide with many tips, strategies, and examples

3.5 stars rounded up to 4.

This book is a pretty good guide that helps you understand many strategies and tactics you can use OR that will be used against you in negotiations. Shell gives many examples of the strategies in tactics in action to help drive the points home.

There’s a “personality test” of sorts you can take to understand the type of negotiator you are, which helps guide how you would use the different strategies and tactics.

In many ways, this books almost feels like a watered down version of Robert Cialdini’s Influence book, but with a focus on negotiations. In fact, Shell even says in the beginning that his writing of this book was inspired by Influence.

I’m not entirely sure this book truly lives up to all its promises, but it is still an informative read.

[Nicholas · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good primer.


Quotes:

"He became successful not by overcoming his negotiation weaknesses, but by accepting them."

"This is the collaborative or problem-solving strategy. Instead of trying to figure out how to divide $1,000 two ways, the person using this approach has the insight to see that there is a way for both parties to get $1,000 out of the situation."

"The act of writing a goal down engages our sense of commitment much more effectively than does the mere act of thinking about it. The act of writing makes a thought more "real" and objective, obligating us to follow up on it...There is something magical about writing things down."

"To commit yourself even further to your goal, tell another person about it and show him or her your written goal. If other people know about the goal, you begin to feel subtly accountable to them, and research indicates that negotiators bargain harder when they must explain to someone why the failed to achieve a goal."

"A man always has two reasons for the things he does - a good one and the real one." [J. P. Morgan:]

"The goal of a consistency trap is to precommit you to a seemingly innocent standard and then confront you with the logical implications of the standard in a particular case - implications that actually turn out to run against your interests."

"People assume negotiations center on dividing a fixed pie.However, by looking for common ground and nonconflicting interests, there is often a chance to make the pie bigger."

"Locate the decision maker. How might it serve the other party's interests to help you achieve your goals? Why might the other party say "no"? What low-cost options might remove the other party's objections?"

"To gain real leverage, you must eventually persuade the other party that he or she has something concrete to lost in the transaction if the deal falls through."

"Potential losses loom larger in the human mind than do equivalent gains. Making even subtle threats is like dealing with explosives."

"Ask yourself, as of the moment when yo make the assessment, which party has the most to lost from no deal. The party with the most to lose has the least leverage; the party with the least to lost has the most leverage."

"Leverage is based on the other party's perception of the situation, not the facts."

"Intensity, particularly if it is coupled with expertise, gets people's attention."

"Which side has the most to lose from no deal. For whom is time a factor. Can I improve my alternatives or make the other party's worse? Can I gain control over something the other party needs? Can I commit the other party to norms that favor my result? Can I form a coalition to improve my position."

"This chapter has introduced you to the basics of good preparation. First, use the Situational Matrix, you should determine the basic situation you face. What strategies are best suited to deal with the situation? Next, you need to combine your situational analysis with the knowledge you have about your own stylistic preferences to determine how well suited you are to negotiate the problem. If you are basically nonconfrontational, you will have a hard time doing well in a Transaction unless you are negotiating against someone just like yourself. If you are aggressively competitive, you will lack some of the tact needed to handle a Relationship situation that calls for delicate diplomacy. Third, try to imagine how the other party views the situation. Do they see the relationship as important? Do the stakes matter as much to them as they do to you? The situational analysis prepares you to anticipate the range of strategies the other side can be expected to use. Fourth, decide how best to communicate with the other side. Does it makes sense to use an agent? If you negotiate directly, should you meet face to face or rely on telephone or e-mail? Finally, combine the information you have gathered on the situation with your insights into the Six Foundations to develop a specific bargaining plan. Use this plan to formulate a list of questions to ask the other side early in the discussion phase to test your assumptions."

"Who are they? Why are they here? What is important to them? What are they prepared to negotiate? What is their view of the situation? Do they have authority to close?"

"Your strategy and tactics should be determined by three main elements: the situation, your leverage, and your own and your counterpart's style."

"Scarcity enhances the value of anything that can be possessed, is useful to its possessor, and is transferable from one person to another. When we think something we want is or is about to become scarce, we push an imaginary panic button labeled "Act Now" to avoid feeling regret that we missed an opportunity."

"Overcommitment derives from our human desire to avoid admitting failure or accepting loss when we have invested heavily in a prior course of action or decision. The more time someone invests in an initially sensible activity, the more committed he or she becomes to seeing it through, even though the decision may no longer make sense."

"Don't be satisfied with an agreement. Get a commitment."

"Telling a lie is easy. If a lie works well in small consumer matters, why not lie in situations where the stakes matter a bit more, such as employment? Pretty soon, a measurable portion of a person's success may depend on using lies. Truth telling becomes an optional, expensive luxury."

"One way of getting around fraud, therefore, might be for the speaker to avoid direct contact with information that would lead to a "knowing" state of mind."

[Rachael · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was participating in a reading group at work for this book, I came close to finishing it, so I'm just going to call it done because without anything to hold me accountable I'm not going back.

It was interesting, it is a topic I knew absolutely nothing about, and it was very helpful to have the group leader talk us through scenarios and create exercises for us. A great book for someone, like me, who thinks that the slightest bit of negotiation at a flea market is absolutely terrifying and will avoid the entire situation just to avoid having to barter. A great introduction to the topic for the completely ignorant and written at a level that is open to even the least experienced of us.

[Dana · Rating 5 out of 5]

My graduate school instructor who taught negotiation recently recommended this book to me. I found it to be a much better book than Getting to Yes, another classic in the field which seems to be better known. Shell writes extremely well, provides many concrete examples, lays out a detailed and methodical strategy for improving your negotiation skills, and provides a nifty assessment in the appendix to determine your own unique style and preferences. This is a very practical book, of course, but it is also interesting and a pleasure to read. I heartily endorse my professor's recommendation and suggest that others will benefit from this book

[Jarmaine Alcantara · Rating 3 out of 5]

With Never Split The Difference as Sherlock Holmes, this book is Mycroft. The boring, intelligent brother of Sherlock. Yes, this book does contain valuable and practical information, perhaps even more useful and comprehensive than Chris Voss' book, but who cares if one can't push through with reading it. Why? Because I find the writing bland. Reading it felt like a chore. It sounded like a dad trying to lecture you about life. It wasn't a page turner and I'm at a phase of my book-reading journey where I don't push myself to read books that maybe helpful but doesn't interest me. It's my definition of self-care.

[ziyuan ʚɞ Reads Dark Smut. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Information-based bargaining focuses on three primary tactics: preparation, listening, and attentiveness.

While understanding the psychology of the other party is important, skilled negotiators must have a clear understanding of their own psychology and limits.

Reciprocity is crucial to crafting a successful agreement.

Creating leverage requires conceptualizing the negotiation process in terms of perceived versus actual strengths.

The scarcity effect and overcommitment are among the most effective psychological closing strategies.

[Mikhail Filatov · Rating 2 out of 5]

The subject is quite interesting and also every chapter contains 1-2 stories about famous people negotiating - Gandhi with train conductor about first class ticket, JP Morgan with Rockefeller about iron ore field, etc. But at the same time the book is so dull, it's just 200 pages but I can't complete it for weeks, while reading several other books in parallel. Overall, the message is too basic - know yourself, know your opponent, etc.

[Quinns Pheh · Rating 3 out of 5]

Anyone could become a good negotiator when they are themselves, whether they are super-competitive or more cooperative. However, there are a number of strategies that could improve anyone’s bargaining skills. We should approach negotiation with high expectations and by fostering strong relationships through mutual respect and reciprocity. But that does not mean being a pushover. For the author, the power of leverage is also crucial for us to understand at the negotiating table.