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Being Ellen: A Second Chance at Life
How often does anyone get a second chance at life?
Ellen—“Ellie”—Krug got that kind of second chance. After living five decades presenting as a self-absorbed man, she finally transitioned to live as her true self, an open and kind woman with a mission to change the world for the better.
In Being A Second Chance at Life, Ellie shares about an arduous journey of self-discovery following her gender transition at age fifty-two. As Ellie learns the hidden rules of womanhood, she’s also reminded of what love and allyship truly mean. The journey also includes finding her chosen family centered around Thap, her best male friend from eighth grade.
Finally able to live as her true self, Ellie becomes an advocate for human inclusivity, traveling North America with a message about having greater compassion for all, and how almost everyone has a good, empathetic heart.
Being Ellen continues the story told in Ellie’s earlier book, Getting to A Memoir about Love, Honesty and Gender Change, in which she documents her struggle to come out as a woman.
This second installment of her memoir series, Being Ellen, is about all the challenges and joy that come with finally finding one’s authentic voice. This book is for everyone, regardless of identity, life station, or anything else that separates us.
“In a brand-centric age when true authenticity is in short supply, Ellie Krug’s raw rendering of her journey to become her true self is a breath of fresh air. Telling her story with equal parts intimacy, humor and heartbreak, Krug’s tale transcends the typical coming-of-age memoir and delivers a fearless tale that brings a dose of empathy to a politically divided world.”
— Reid Forgrave, author of Love, Small-Town Football and the Life and Death of an American Boy
Ellen—“Ellie”—Krug got that kind of second chance. After living five decades presenting as a self-absorbed man, she finally transitioned to live as her true self, an open and kind woman with a mission to change the world for the better.
In Being A Second Chance at Life, Ellie shares about an arduous journey of self-discovery following her gender transition at age fifty-two. As Ellie learns the hidden rules of womanhood, she’s also reminded of what love and allyship truly mean. The journey also includes finding her chosen family centered around Thap, her best male friend from eighth grade.
Finally able to live as her true self, Ellie becomes an advocate for human inclusivity, traveling North America with a message about having greater compassion for all, and how almost everyone has a good, empathetic heart.
Being Ellen continues the story told in Ellie’s earlier book, Getting to A Memoir about Love, Honesty and Gender Change, in which she documents her struggle to come out as a woman.
This second installment of her memoir series, Being Ellen, is about all the challenges and joy that come with finally finding one’s authentic voice. This book is for everyone, regardless of identity, life station, or anything else that separates us.
“In a brand-centric age when true authenticity is in short supply, Ellie Krug’s raw rendering of her journey to become her true self is a breath of fresh air. Telling her story with equal parts intimacy, humor and heartbreak, Krug’s tale transcends the typical coming-of-age memoir and delivers a fearless tale that brings a dose of empathy to a politically divided world.”
— Reid Forgrave, author of Love, Small-Town Football and the Life and Death of an American Boy
421 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 4, 2025
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12 people want to read
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September 5, 2025
Let’s start at the beginning before I talk about Being Ellen.
Getting to Ellen is the first of a three-book series published 02/01/2013, and for some reason, despite discovering Ellie Krug in 2020, I did not read her first book until 2024. I gave it 5 stars and it also had the “could-not-put-down” tag of a limited number of books on my shelf.The first book shares her story from childhood through her eventual transition from a married male attorney in Iowa to a woman now residing in Minnesota.
When Ellie announced pre-orders for her second book, Being Ellen, I immediately signed up. I am so proud to be the first reviewer on Goodreads! Yet another could-not-put-down five-star with a 5 star rating. The more I read about Ellie and her life the more she awes and inspires me.
Being Ellen picks up where her first book left off with this book focusing on her life from her transition in 2010 (I didn’t read on a Kindle so not taking the time to search) through 2024. This book’s focus is how Ellen is getting a second chance at life. What will you do with this one precious life? For those of us born female and who still identify as female, we learned what it meant to become a woman in our teens and 20s. How does one go about this when you are in your 50s?
I enjoyed the realizations she had about subtle things she may not have noticed when she was a man. I could totally relate to and am very much aware of how women speak differently. From my point of view, I communicate the way i do because it works. However, it works because women are expected to speak differently than men. It is a learned behavior. Ellie talks about “hedging” and I know for sure I use a lot of hesitancy when I speak. “I’m not sure if you will agree with this…” or “I could be wrong but…” In my head, I believe I do this because I don’t like to tell people what to do or think. I know what I believe but I don’t have a desire to force my beliefs or ideas on others. I’d rather inspire. Yet how much of this is due to my being raised female in America?
This book has so much love, compassion, hope, and joy despite also including so much devastation. Thank you to her loved ones for allowing her to share your incredible stories as part of her story..
My notes were handwritten in a notebook as I read. I became so absorbed in the book that I abandoned taking notes for a while. I will apologize in advance for not giving the complete review and highlights as I might prefer to do. I guess you must read it for yourself!
Early on she claims not being a good writer which is clearly false. I did write down a few words I needed to look up! Page 28 Nascent. Page 73 Coruscating. Um ok got it – the first means just coming into existence (nascent = new) and the second means brilliant, flashing, sparkling. Coruscating is a fancy word.
There is a great analogy Ellen used to described why being born one gender but needing to transition to another is not a choice. She used the example of thinking of something you absolutely love to do. Let’s take writing, for example. You have always loved to write, and it makes you feel peaceful and authentic and whole. What if I then told you that you can never write again. Never. But writing is a part of me! I could not live my life as me without being able to write! Oh, but writing is a choice! You don’t need to write. Just don’t make the choice to write. Being a write is not a choice but who you are. I have seen her speak so I know her to always have really kind ways of explaining things to help people understand without shame or judgment.
I don’t want to put in any spoilers but once you read it, you can come back and agree with me that here were some good parts- either funny or heart breaking:
1. Screw Henry.
2. Every woman knows to break in a new pair of shoes.
3. Emily and The Monster
4. Nisty’s story
5. Thap’s son
6. Kelly
7. Girl – what were you doing during those riots!?
8. Memorabilia bins – same
9. Schoolboard story
And Ellen, if you read this, a few things I would love to say to you…
You are so stubborn! I think you and Thap are good for each other – he balances out your idealism even though I am sure it is frustrating at times. I love how you still do you anyway. You are unstoppable!
Starting the Ripple in 2016 with 200 subscribers and if I recall, you are now up to over 6000? I had no idea. Amazing work.
I loved how you were so forthcoming about things you did where you can now write about it with the humility to say “gosh, what was I thinking?”
It was really neat to read the story of how you ended up in Waconia. I always wondered why you made that switch, and it makes total sense now.
I also love how you are seeing that more often than not, you are welcome and people love you.
And last but not least, I love Cape Cod chips too.
WELL DONE! I look forward to what the next book will be about, yet we all have to wait because the work is not yet done. Thank you for making a difference and bringing your positivity and compassion to us all.
Getting to Ellen is the first of a three-book series published 02/01/2013, and for some reason, despite discovering Ellie Krug in 2020, I did not read her first book until 2024. I gave it 5 stars and it also had the “could-not-put-down” tag of a limited number of books on my shelf.The first book shares her story from childhood through her eventual transition from a married male attorney in Iowa to a woman now residing in Minnesota.
When Ellie announced pre-orders for her second book, Being Ellen, I immediately signed up. I am so proud to be the first reviewer on Goodreads! Yet another could-not-put-down five-star with a 5 star rating. The more I read about Ellie and her life the more she awes and inspires me.
Being Ellen picks up where her first book left off with this book focusing on her life from her transition in 2010 (I didn’t read on a Kindle so not taking the time to search) through 2024. This book’s focus is how Ellen is getting a second chance at life. What will you do with this one precious life? For those of us born female and who still identify as female, we learned what it meant to become a woman in our teens and 20s. How does one go about this when you are in your 50s?
I enjoyed the realizations she had about subtle things she may not have noticed when she was a man. I could totally relate to and am very much aware of how women speak differently. From my point of view, I communicate the way i do because it works. However, it works because women are expected to speak differently than men. It is a learned behavior. Ellie talks about “hedging” and I know for sure I use a lot of hesitancy when I speak. “I’m not sure if you will agree with this…” or “I could be wrong but…” In my head, I believe I do this because I don’t like to tell people what to do or think. I know what I believe but I don’t have a desire to force my beliefs or ideas on others. I’d rather inspire. Yet how much of this is due to my being raised female in America?
This book has so much love, compassion, hope, and joy despite also including so much devastation. Thank you to her loved ones for allowing her to share your incredible stories as part of her story..
My notes were handwritten in a notebook as I read. I became so absorbed in the book that I abandoned taking notes for a while. I will apologize in advance for not giving the complete review and highlights as I might prefer to do. I guess you must read it for yourself!
Early on she claims not being a good writer which is clearly false. I did write down a few words I needed to look up! Page 28 Nascent. Page 73 Coruscating. Um ok got it – the first means just coming into existence (nascent = new) and the second means brilliant, flashing, sparkling. Coruscating is a fancy word.
There is a great analogy Ellen used to described why being born one gender but needing to transition to another is not a choice. She used the example of thinking of something you absolutely love to do. Let’s take writing, for example. You have always loved to write, and it makes you feel peaceful and authentic and whole. What if I then told you that you can never write again. Never. But writing is a part of me! I could not live my life as me without being able to write! Oh, but writing is a choice! You don’t need to write. Just don’t make the choice to write. Being a write is not a choice but who you are. I have seen her speak so I know her to always have really kind ways of explaining things to help people understand without shame or judgment.
I don’t want to put in any spoilers but once you read it, you can come back and agree with me that here were some good parts- either funny or heart breaking:
1. Screw Henry.
2. Every woman knows to break in a new pair of shoes.
3. Emily and The Monster
4. Nisty’s story
5. Thap’s son
6. Kelly
7. Girl – what were you doing during those riots!?
8. Memorabilia bins – same
9. Schoolboard story
And Ellen, if you read this, a few things I would love to say to you…
You are so stubborn! I think you and Thap are good for each other – he balances out your idealism even though I am sure it is frustrating at times. I love how you still do you anyway. You are unstoppable!
Starting the Ripple in 2016 with 200 subscribers and if I recall, you are now up to over 6000? I had no idea. Amazing work.
I loved how you were so forthcoming about things you did where you can now write about it with the humility to say “gosh, what was I thinking?”
It was really neat to read the story of how you ended up in Waconia. I always wondered why you made that switch, and it makes total sense now.
I also love how you are seeing that more often than not, you are welcome and people love you.
And last but not least, I love Cape Cod chips too.
WELL DONE! I look forward to what the next book will be about, yet we all have to wait because the work is not yet done. Thank you for making a difference and bringing your positivity and compassion to us all.
Displaying 1 of 1 review