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Filthy Fairy Tales
THREE erotic fairy tales in one volume! A mermaid ready to trade her fin for legs she can spread. A life-size artificial hunk with a member that grows whenever he lies. Innocent Snow White, who flees her castle to bunk with seven little perverts. This is the best erotica you've never read, where every fairy tale has its own "happy ending." Ready to get down and dirty with your happily ever after? Storybook romance has never before been so filthy.
This three-book adult fairy tales collection by the modern queen of erotic comedy contains:
The Slutty Little Mermaid
Bianca is a young mermaid princess, habitually naked from the waist up, and devilishly intrigued by the dirty goings-on she sees amongst humans on the handsome prince's party boat. The lucky women aboard all have something Bianca doesn't: an new hole between their odd legs, which both males and females on the boat seem to enjoy.
Curious, Bianca seeks out the old sea witch, who grants her legs -- and what lies between -- for just long enough to get her toes (and everything else) wet on dry land. But when she falls in love with the prince and her newfound sexuality just as the clock is running out, what's a horny sea creature to do after discovering the truth: that you can only get truly wet after leaving the ocean?
Picockio
Sexbot artisan Giganto has created his best work to date in the hot and chiseled life-sized doll Pickockio, but his triumph is hollow without the true sexuality that comes with the spark of life. So he wishes upon the Smoking Hot Fairy for his creation to become "a real man."
At first, newly sentient Picockio takes "being a real man" at face value and begins scouring the land for adventure … keenly noting a quirk to the fairy's work that causes his dick to grow every time he tells a lie. But his pursuit quickly turns hollow as he's tempted by hotness (and succumbs) again and again. As with all fairy tales, there's a lesson for Picockio to learn … but this time, it's that there's a limit to just how much shaft a man should wield, and that "a real man" always puts his woman's pleasure first.
Snow White and the Seven Kinky Dwarves
Fair and innocent Snow White's wicked stepmother used to be the fairest of them all. But when her magic mirror informs her that Snow White's 18th birthday heralds the dawn of a new hottest piece of ass in all the land, the queen sends a huntsman to put an end to the competition.
The huntsman, though, is a man, and even the most stalwart assassin's boner is not immune to Snow White's naive charms. So Snow White, cast out, wanders the forest until she stumbles upon a shack owned by seven small-scale perverts: Furry, Flashy, Cornholey, Gimpy, Footie, Gropey, and C**k.
But the wicked queen hasn't forgotten her hot young nemesis … so when Snow White (who, let's face it, is naive and innocent enough to fall for anything) falls victim to a witch's poison, there's only one thing that can save her.
This three-book adult fairy tales collection by the modern queen of erotic comedy contains:
The Slutty Little Mermaid
Bianca is a young mermaid princess, habitually naked from the waist up, and devilishly intrigued by the dirty goings-on she sees amongst humans on the handsome prince's party boat. The lucky women aboard all have something Bianca doesn't: an new hole between their odd legs, which both males and females on the boat seem to enjoy.
Curious, Bianca seeks out the old sea witch, who grants her legs -- and what lies between -- for just long enough to get her toes (and everything else) wet on dry land. But when she falls in love with the prince and her newfound sexuality just as the clock is running out, what's a horny sea creature to do after discovering the truth: that you can only get truly wet after leaving the ocean?
Picockio
Sexbot artisan Giganto has created his best work to date in the hot and chiseled life-sized doll Pickockio, but his triumph is hollow without the true sexuality that comes with the spark of life. So he wishes upon the Smoking Hot Fairy for his creation to become "a real man."
At first, newly sentient Picockio takes "being a real man" at face value and begins scouring the land for adventure … keenly noting a quirk to the fairy's work that causes his dick to grow every time he tells a lie. But his pursuit quickly turns hollow as he's tempted by hotness (and succumbs) again and again. As with all fairy tales, there's a lesson for Picockio to learn … but this time, it's that there's a limit to just how much shaft a man should wield, and that "a real man" always puts his woman's pleasure first.
Snow White and the Seven Kinky Dwarves
Fair and innocent Snow White's wicked stepmother used to be the fairest of them all. But when her magic mirror informs her that Snow White's 18th birthday heralds the dawn of a new hottest piece of ass in all the land, the queen sends a huntsman to put an end to the competition.
The huntsman, though, is a man, and even the most stalwart assassin's boner is not immune to Snow White's naive charms. So Snow White, cast out, wanders the forest until she stumbles upon a shack owned by seven small-scale perverts: Furry, Flashy, Cornholey, Gimpy, Footie, Gropey, and C**k.
But the wicked queen hasn't forgotten her hot young nemesis … so when Snow White (who, let's face it, is naive and innocent enough to fall for anything) falls victim to a witch's poison, there's only one thing that can save her.
331 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 1, 2013
4 people are currently reading
96 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
April 3, 2015
Kinky Group Giggle Fest with my MacHalo Girls starting March 28, 2015.
► Don't look at us, this is all Angela's fault.
Disclaimer: contrary to popular belief I do not aim to corrupt unspoilt minds and to lure innocent bystanders into my evil ways. Nuh-uh, not me. To prove how well-intentioned I am I will be using spoilers for most of this review. I am sadly aware that some of my dear friends are the mushy romance/fluffy bunnies/HEA type and I wouldn’t want them to fall into a filth-induced coma. I do have a heart. Sometimes. For those who decide to read the spoilers, don’t come blaming me for destroying your childhood dreams after you finish reading this review. You have been warned. I am denying all responsibility should you feel offended by what follows.
● The Slutty Little mermaid ★★★
● Picockio ★★ ½
● Snow White and the Seven Kinky Dwarves ★★★ ½
►►► Overall rating: ★★★
As a whole, the three stories were pretty hilarious but as my Fellow Filthy Girl Shelly mentions in her review, this collection would have been much enjoyable if the stories had been half as long. I mean, there’s only so much I can read about before I get bored.
But, I have to admit this was surprisingly well thought-out and not badly written at all. I was expecting silly non-stories with lots of sex and got entertaining, fairly original stories with lots of sex instead. Had it not been for the lack of editing, this could have easily gotten a four-star rating.
▧ The Slutty Little mermaid: ★★★
▧ Picockio: ★★ ½
▧ Snow White and the Seven Kinky Dwarves: ★★★ ½
A final word to the author: you’re not fooling us Lexi Maxwell, we all know that you’re a guy and that the undressing blonde chick on your Amazon author page is too suspicious to be you. But that’s okay, we kind of like you anyway.
We're the MacHalo Freaks. We put the fun in dysfunctional.
► Don't look at us, this is all Angela's fault.
Disclaimer: contrary to popular belief I do not aim to corrupt unspoilt minds and to lure innocent bystanders into my evil ways. Nuh-uh, not me. To prove how well-intentioned I am I will be using spoilers for most of this review. I am sadly aware that some of my dear friends are the mushy romance/fluffy bunnies/HEA type and I wouldn’t want them to fall into a filth-induced coma. I do have a heart. Sometimes. For those who decide to read the spoilers, don’t come blaming me for destroying your childhood dreams after you finish reading this review. You have been warned. I am denying all responsibility should you feel offended by what follows.
● The Slutty Little mermaid ★★★
● Picockio ★★ ½
● Snow White and the Seven Kinky Dwarves ★★★ ½
►►► Overall rating: ★★★
As a whole, the three stories were pretty hilarious but as my Fellow Filthy Girl Shelly mentions in her review, this collection would have been much enjoyable if the stories had been half as long. I mean, there’s only so much I can read about before I get bored.
But, I have to admit this was surprisingly well thought-out and not badly written at all. I was expecting silly non-stories with lots of sex and got entertaining, fairly original stories with lots of sex instead. Had it not been for the lack of editing, this could have easily gotten a four-star rating.
▧ The Slutty Little mermaid: ★★★
▧ Picockio: ★★ ½
▧ Snow White and the Seven Kinky Dwarves: ★★★ ½
A final word to the author: you’re not fooling us Lexi Maxwell, we all know that you’re a guy and that the undressing blonde chick on your Amazon author page is too suspicious to be you. But that’s okay, we kind of like you anyway.
We're the MacHalo Freaks. We put the fun in dysfunctional.
August 5, 2016
I got this free at Amazon a little while back but now, it seems, they've made it "unavailable". WTH is up with Amazon pulling all of the fun books?
Now that I've read a little of this I can honestly say that it's everything I hoped it would be ;) There are three stories in this book and the first is a pervy take on The Little Mermaid. After watching humans go at it, this mermaid wants in on the fun and wishes for some genuine lady parts so she will able to do some very unlady-like things. The writing is light-hearted and fun and doesn't take things seriously.
So far? Totally worth what I paid for it ;)
A little later: Hmmm, this was not bad at all for a freebie but it became very repetitive, very quickly. One can only take so much anonymous screwing before one's brain goes numb.
The Little Mermaid story was decent (3 1/2 stars). Picockio (2 stars) was meh and the most repetitive for me. I just didn't dig the storyline, I guess. It's about a wooden sexbot and his wish to become a real man who gets sidetracked by sexy times and lakes of body fluid. The Snow White story was probably the best with a twisted up plot that was evil and sarcastic but, like the rest, repetitive. All of them could've been cut by quite a few pages, if you ask me.
Now that I've read a little of this I can honestly say that it's everything I hoped it would be ;) There are three stories in this book and the first is a pervy take on The Little Mermaid. After watching humans go at it, this mermaid wants in on the fun and wishes for some genuine lady parts so she will able to do some very unlady-like things. The writing is light-hearted and fun and doesn't take things seriously.
So far? Totally worth what I paid for it ;)
A little later: Hmmm, this was not bad at all for a freebie but it became very repetitive, very quickly. One can only take so much anonymous screwing before one's brain goes numb.
The Little Mermaid story was decent (3 1/2 stars). Picockio (2 stars) was meh and the most repetitive for me. I just didn't dig the storyline, I guess. It's about a wooden sexbot and his wish to become a real man who gets sidetracked by sexy times and lakes of body fluid. The Snow White story was probably the best with a twisted up plot that was evil and sarcastic but, like the rest, repetitive. All of them could've been cut by quite a few pages, if you ask me.
March 29, 2015
Hilarious! I don't really read much erotica but this was one fun ride. (he he, do you see what I did there?)
Want to read
November 5, 201512 February 2015: $0.00 FREE on Kindle
Don't ask me why I couldn't resist one-clicking this. I don't know. I really don't.
Don't ask me why I couldn't resist one-clicking this. I don't know. I really don't.
April 6, 2015
I put this book aside to focus on some buddy reads and I've never come back to it. I think I will cut my losses and just DNF it. I only read the first story and it was just meh for me.
April 12, 2015
Buddy read with the MacHalo Girls
I don't even have the words to do this justice, two of these stories were absolutely hilarious, one didn't quite work for me but overall this was well worth a read. They're utterly filthy, full of inuendo and dirty sex and so, so funny that you won't know what to do with yourself. You'll never look at Disney princesses in quite the same way again!
Sarah said it way better than I ever could so please make sure you read her review HERE
My rating for each story:
The Slutty Little Mermaid - 3 stars
Picockio - 1 star
Snow White and the Seven Kinky Dwarves - 3 stars
Thoughts before reading:
Oh Ange & Sarah, what the hell are you getting me into this time? Was it not enough that I have suffered through yeti & t-Rex porn, not to mention the princess and a giant penis - now you want me to read this one too?
Screw it, I'm game if you are LMAO
I don't even have the words to do this justice, two of these stories were absolutely hilarious, one didn't quite work for me but overall this was well worth a read. They're utterly filthy, full of inuendo and dirty sex and so, so funny that you won't know what to do with yourself. You'll never look at Disney princesses in quite the same way again!
Sarah said it way better than I ever could so please make sure you read her review HERE
My rating for each story:
The Slutty Little Mermaid - 3 stars
Picockio - 1 star
Snow White and the Seven Kinky Dwarves - 3 stars
Thoughts before reading:
Oh Ange & Sarah, what the hell are you getting me into this time? Was it not enough that I have suffered through yeti & t-Rex porn, not to mention the princess and a giant penis - now you want me to read this one too?
Screw it, I'm game if you are LMAO
January 19, 2015
These short stories contain some of my favorite lines I've ever read in erotica. I would name a few, but I don't want to spoil any of the jokes. They're so much funnier when you don't see them cumming. Filthy Fairy Tales is such a nice break from the "intense" erotica out there. You know the kind—it's so serious and unimaginative and you should take it seriously because sex is never, ever, ever funny. I don't want to make it sound like this is just a joke book. There's a lot of heat and horniness contained herein, but each story is also a great reminder that yeah, there are emotions and baggage that go with sex, but there are also sticky, messy laughs, too. I tried to pick out one of these stories as my favorite, but I couldn't. They're all five-star awesome.
February 28, 2015
This free short story had three parts. The first is the story of the Little Mermaid. If you can imagine Ariel wanting legs, not for the ability to walk, but because they will come - how can I put this - with female sex organs? That’ll do… Prince Eric is actually the son of the guy who owns half the city (the ‘king’) and he moors his enormous boat out in international waters (so that they don’t break any laws) and mermaid Bianca hangs over the side and watches them. You get the idea. Eric also has other enormous assets.
Pinocchio is renamed Picockio and I will give you one guess which part of his anatomy grows when he lies.
Snow White… well, the dwarves have been renamed too… there’s Furry, Flashy, Gimpy and yeah - I can’t actually list the dwarves’ names here… trust me. And the Mirror just loves watching women.
***
This was a free download from the Sterling & Stone website when you join their mailing list. In fact, they give away the first volume of all their series and believe me, that’s a lot of series.
The stories are funny, cleverly written and pretty damn sexy.
Pinocchio is renamed Picockio and I will give you one guess which part of his anatomy grows when he lies.
Snow White… well, the dwarves have been renamed too… there’s Furry, Flashy, Gimpy and yeah - I can’t actually list the dwarves’ names here… trust me. And the Mirror just loves watching women.
***
This was a free download from the Sterling & Stone website when you join their mailing list. In fact, they give away the first volume of all their series and believe me, that’s a lot of series.
The stories are funny, cleverly written and pretty damn sexy.
February 10, 2016
this is a one maybe two star for me even thought it's quite long and three stories. to me the author spent too much time in each story I could only read so much about each character without getting bored. there was a creative touch to each story but top lengthy if each story was less than 100 pages I actually think it would of worked better or if the author chose the genre of paranormal romance and just told the story without it having to be a Disney spin off I think it would of played out better.
April 4, 2015
Lexi Maxwell has managed to make some old favorite fairy tales into new ones for me. In this volume she re-tells three stories: the little mermaid, Pinocchio and Snow White in a VERY sexy and horny way that Disney never would have dreamed.
I always thought the little mermaid was sexy, but the author has turned her into an absolute skank, and I loved reading every word. She does the same for Pinocchio and everyone's favorite gangbang girl, Snow White.
These are not short stories; each one is its own novella with lots of sex of every kind thrown in liberally.
This book is a fun read and a great new take on the bed time story.
I always thought the little mermaid was sexy, but the author has turned her into an absolute skank, and I loved reading every word. She does the same for Pinocchio and everyone's favorite gangbang girl, Snow White.
These are not short stories; each one is its own novella with lots of sex of every kind thrown in liberally.
This book is a fun read and a great new take on the bed time story.
June 23, 2016
I read this months ago, and forgot to add a review. All that comes to mind right now is there's erotic and then there's filth. The title "Filthy Fairy Tales" is very fitting.
Free on Amazon at the mo (Feb 12) - http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00O...
EDIT to above - no longer available on amazon.
Free on Amazon at the mo (Feb 12) - http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00O...
EDIT to above - no longer available on amazon.
December 22, 2015
This book was really funny and surprisingly well-written. But that is about all it had going for it. It was way longer than it needed to be and quite reptitve. While I did find myself laughing to myself every so often, overall I was just bored.
Little Mermaid Parody- the worst of the bunch. 1 star
Pinocchio- 2 stars
Snow White- the best of the bunch. This one didn't drag out nearly as long as the other two and had the best pacing and humor in my opinion. 2.5- low 3 stars
Little Mermaid Parody- the worst of the bunch. 1 star
Pinocchio- 2 stars
Snow White- the best of the bunch. This one didn't drag out nearly as long as the other two and had the best pacing and humor in my opinion. 2.5- low 3 stars
February 23, 2015
Wonderful story telling
I had often wondered what the fairy tales would be like if written for adults and now I know. I hope the author continues adjusting these stories for us grown-ups so that we can enjoy the new telling today.
I had often wondered what the fairy tales would be like if written for adults and now I know. I hope the author continues adjusting these stories for us grown-ups so that we can enjoy the new telling today.
February 14, 2015
Hilarious
I have to say that is book is hilarious. I loved the naughty retelling of classic stories. It was sexy, funny and rain at the same time. Ms. Maxwell has found a new fan. Good job.
I have to say that is book is hilarious. I loved the naughty retelling of classic stories. It was sexy, funny and rain at the same time. Ms. Maxwell has found a new fan. Good job.
June 28, 2015
Pretty good
Of the three snow wires retelling was my favorite, then Pinocchio, and then the little mermaids. I happen to love twisted adult fairytales and these are worth the read. I'd love to see goldilocks, rupunzel, red riding hood, and or beauty and the beast in that order.
Of the three snow wires retelling was my favorite, then Pinocchio, and then the little mermaids. I happen to love twisted adult fairytales and these are worth the read. I'd love to see goldilocks, rupunzel, red riding hood, and or beauty and the beast in that order.
July 25, 2016
This book was a little over the top cheesy, which I'm guessing was intentional given it's fairy tale nature, but it was fun and humorous.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews