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Le voile de la douleur (Témoignage, document)
Abandonnée par ses parents, Sameem passe les sept premières années de sa vie dans un foyer en Angleterre : des années heureuses et insouciantes.
Tout bascule avec le retour de sa mère,qui arrive du Pakistan avec le reste de sa fratrie. Lorsqu'on lui dit que sa famille désire la retrouver, Sameem est d'abord impatiente à l'idée de commencer une nouvelle vie. Cependant, elle ne trouve qu'une maison insalubre où elle est assignée à des corvées et se sent étrangère : la culture et la langue pakistanaises lui sont inconnues. Surtout, elle devient le souffre-douleur de la famille et son malheur la mène à l'automutilation.
Aussi quel n'est pas son enthousiasme lorsqu'elle prend l'avion avec sa mère pour le Pakistan. Elle a 13 ans. Cependant, les prétendues vacances virent au cauchemar. Sameem est mariée de force à un parfait étranger, qui abuse d'elle. Deux mois plus tard, enceinte, elle retourne à Glasgow où elle est de nouveau maltraitée par sa famille.
Ce n'est qu'après avoir rencontré le grand amour que Sameem décide de se libérer de ce cauchemar en s'enfuyant vers Manchester accompagnée de son jeune fils. Mais elle ignore alors les représailles qui l'attendent - elle a bafoué l'honneur familial...
Tout bascule avec le retour de sa mère,qui arrive du Pakistan avec le reste de sa fratrie. Lorsqu'on lui dit que sa famille désire la retrouver, Sameem est d'abord impatiente à l'idée de commencer une nouvelle vie. Cependant, elle ne trouve qu'une maison insalubre où elle est assignée à des corvées et se sent étrangère : la culture et la langue pakistanaises lui sont inconnues. Surtout, elle devient le souffre-douleur de la famille et son malheur la mène à l'automutilation.
Aussi quel n'est pas son enthousiasme lorsqu'elle prend l'avion avec sa mère pour le Pakistan. Elle a 13 ans. Cependant, les prétendues vacances virent au cauchemar. Sameem est mariée de force à un parfait étranger, qui abuse d'elle. Deux mois plus tard, enceinte, elle retourne à Glasgow où elle est de nouveau maltraitée par sa famille.
Ce n'est qu'après avoir rencontré le grand amour que Sameem décide de se libérer de ce cauchemar en s'enfuyant vers Manchester accompagnée de son jeune fils. Mais elle ignore alors les représailles qui l'attendent - elle a bafoué l'honneur familial...
292 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2008
36 people are currently reading
735 people want to read
About the author
Sameem Ali
2 books6 followersAbandoned by her parents, Sameem Ali spent six and a half years growing up in a children home. When she was told that her family wanted to take her back she couldn't wait to start her new life with them. Instead, she returned to a dirty house where she was subjected to endless chores. Her mother began to beat her and her unhappiness drove her to self-harm. So Sameem was excited when she boarded a plane with her mother to visit Pakistan for the first time. It was only after they arrived in her family’s village that she realized she wasn't there on holiday. Aged just thirteen, Sameem was forced to marry a complete stranger. When pregnant, two months later, she was made to return to Glasgow where she suffered further abuse from her family. After finding true love, Sameem fled the violence at home and escaped to Manchester with her young son. She believed she had put her horrific experiences behind her, but was unprepared for the consequences of violating her family’s honour … Belonging is the shocking true story of Sameem’s struggle to break free from her past and fight back against her upbringing.
Sameem Ali was elected as a Labour councilor in Moss Side, Manchester, in May 2007 and now strives to make a difference in her community. Sameem regularly speaks at conferences to raise awareness of forced marriage and to support victims of forced marriage.
If you have any questions for Sameem about her story or just to see what she has planned for the future please do not hesitate to contact her by email or visit her website http://www.sameemali.com
If anyone would like any advice,support or information on forced marriage please visit the forced marriage sites listed in the “posted items” section of the facebook group
If anyone has links that they would like to post about forced marriage topics or other awareness groups/organizations please do!! These will never be deleted. It is important to raise awareness and offer anyone who needs it support on the topic.
Visit or join the facebook group at http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid...
Sameem Ali was elected as a Labour councilor in Moss Side, Manchester, in May 2007 and now strives to make a difference in her community. Sameem regularly speaks at conferences to raise awareness of forced marriage and to support victims of forced marriage.
If you have any questions for Sameem about her story or just to see what she has planned for the future please do not hesitate to contact her by email or visit her website http://www.sameemali.com
If anyone would like any advice,support or information on forced marriage please visit the forced marriage sites listed in the “posted items” section of the facebook group
If anyone has links that they would like to post about forced marriage topics or other awareness groups/organizations please do!! These will never be deleted. It is important to raise awareness and offer anyone who needs it support on the topic.
Visit or join the facebook group at http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid...
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 66 reviews
July 8, 2014
This book is a true story first person narrative about a British Asian girl. It is a survivor tale that opens a world that is unseen to most of the British public. Follow Sameem as she grows up and is treated so horribly by people she should have been able to trust. This is a gripping story that deals with difficult cultural issues faced by British children of Pakistani parents.
This book is easy to read and understand. Sameem talks the reader through British Asian family life in the same way as she had to learn about her new family when she left the Children's Home. Sameem is frequently beaten and treated like a slave. At the age of 13, she is taken to Pakistan, forced to marry a complete stranger and 2 months later falls pregnant. As if things can't get any worse, Sameem returns to Britain and her abuse and torments continue. More drama happens but right at the end of her story, there is a happy ending.
I am pleased that Sameem has written and published her story. She is not alone and her circumstances are not unique. It is good that her tale is now in the public domain as nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors. Perpetrators of abuse are very good at hiding their actions from the public and know how to hit so it does not show.
I really enjoyed reading Belonging because it allowed me to enter a very private world. It was great to look at the world through the eyes of Sameem and learn about different cultural and family roles. I developed an empathy for Sameem right from the very start. She does not tell her story in a sweet, slushy way but in a frank, matter of fact manner. I felt that things could have been so very different if there had been a good follow up when Sameem left the Children's Home.
The editing of Belonging is very good and the story is told in a professional manner. You are not left with any gaps and everything makes sense. The timeline is strictly adhered to and the story does NOT have those annoying flashbacks found in so many books.
This book is so well written and is very easy to relate to. I am a 55 year old, white skinned English Atheist man, yet her writing is so good that I so easily dropped into the shoes of a brown skinned, British Asian/Pakistani Muslim girl. This shows the quality of her writing AND how this book should appeal to everyone. I read this book whilst on holiday and when I finished reading it I felt both refreshed and enlightened. For me there is only one vote I can give Belonging, the maximum score of 5 stars. Sameem has done well to survive her upbringing and when I read on page 280 that in May 2007 she was elected as a Labour Party councillor for Moss Side, Manchester, I thought "well done girl!".
Belonging was written in 2008 and has 281 pages.
This book is easy to read and understand. Sameem talks the reader through British Asian family life in the same way as she had to learn about her new family when she left the Children's Home. Sameem is frequently beaten and treated like a slave. At the age of 13, she is taken to Pakistan, forced to marry a complete stranger and 2 months later falls pregnant. As if things can't get any worse, Sameem returns to Britain and her abuse and torments continue. More drama happens but right at the end of her story, there is a happy ending.
I am pleased that Sameem has written and published her story. She is not alone and her circumstances are not unique. It is good that her tale is now in the public domain as nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors. Perpetrators of abuse are very good at hiding their actions from the public and know how to hit so it does not show.
I really enjoyed reading Belonging because it allowed me to enter a very private world. It was great to look at the world through the eyes of Sameem and learn about different cultural and family roles. I developed an empathy for Sameem right from the very start. She does not tell her story in a sweet, slushy way but in a frank, matter of fact manner. I felt that things could have been so very different if there had been a good follow up when Sameem left the Children's Home.
The editing of Belonging is very good and the story is told in a professional manner. You are not left with any gaps and everything makes sense. The timeline is strictly adhered to and the story does NOT have those annoying flashbacks found in so many books.
This book is so well written and is very easy to relate to. I am a 55 year old, white skinned English Atheist man, yet her writing is so good that I so easily dropped into the shoes of a brown skinned, British Asian/Pakistani Muslim girl. This shows the quality of her writing AND how this book should appeal to everyone. I read this book whilst on holiday and when I finished reading it I felt both refreshed and enlightened. For me there is only one vote I can give Belonging, the maximum score of 5 stars. Sameem has done well to survive her upbringing and when I read on page 280 that in May 2007 she was elected as a Labour Party councillor for Moss Side, Manchester, I thought "well done girl!".
Belonging was written in 2008 and has 281 pages.
February 12, 2010
What a sad true story, about Sameem who began life living ain a childrens home till the age of 7ys. Until her mother who had only visited her a few times decided she wanted her home. This is a terrible story of abuse she suffered and being slave almost to her family cooking cleaning and being physically hit for no reasons. At the age of 13 her mother took her to Pakistan where Sameem thought she had finally gained her mothers approval only to find she was there to be married to a man she did not like or know. Her mother planned for her to become pregnant and then brought her home to the uk again with the only explaination being to bring her new husband back to uk and have him become a british citezen.
Now pregnant Sameem was still beaten regularly and still expected to work in the home, to the point she was exhausted. Not knowing what childbirth entailed she was in the dark about what was going on right until her baby boy was born. The family ignored her son and as she was made to work for the family buisinesses she had to leave him with her mother during the day to find he was starving hungry when she got home.
The final straw coming when she noticed fresh bruises to her sons body. She planned to run away but where could she go....
Now pregnant Sameem was still beaten regularly and still expected to work in the home, to the point she was exhausted. Not knowing what childbirth entailed she was in the dark about what was going on right until her baby boy was born. The family ignored her son and as she was made to work for the family buisinesses she had to leave him with her mother during the day to find he was starving hungry when she got home.
The final straw coming when she noticed fresh bruises to her sons body. She planned to run away but where could she go....
July 4, 2013
So Sad:< Nearly Bought a Tear To My Eye
December 2, 2009
This was such an inspiring book to read. The childhood she endurded made her stronger and shaped who she is today and that says a lot about her! I was horrified that a mother could treat her child in the manner that hers did, I guess what really impressed me was how Sam handled her mother later in life, after she was grown and out of her reach. I must say she is a brave young woman and a true inspiration!! I wish her and her family all the best!
HUGE thanks to Sabrina for letting me borrow this book to read!!
HUGE thanks to Sabrina for letting me borrow this book to read!!
August 18, 2012
This book made me laugh, cry and want to punch a wall at the same time.
I enjoyed this because of its a basic triumph story a child given nothing enduring everything to making it .
If i begin to talk about this book i will give it away. So i do want everyone to read this because it does bring you into the world half knowing about by the rest of the world. Also, the authors voice was beautifully written into the story. Its like she's telling you her life while sharing coffee. it by no means pleasant but its something that should be heard and shared.. So, read this book it was amazing
I enjoyed this because of its a basic triumph story a child given nothing enduring everything to making it .
If i begin to talk about this book i will give it away. So i do want everyone to read this because it does bring you into the world half knowing about by the rest of the world. Also, the authors voice was beautifully written into the story. Its like she's telling you her life while sharing coffee. it by no means pleasant but its something that should be heard and shared.. So, read this book it was amazing
August 26, 2010
“In Belonging, Sameem Ali describes her experience of forced marriage, a subject that is rarely written about by those who have been involved in it. It is a powerful and courageous account and offers a unique perspective on this important issue
(Lord Ahmed of Rotherham, Co-Chairman of the HM Government’s working group on forced marriage 2001 )”
An interesting read. Definitely worth reading.
(Lord Ahmed of Rotherham, Co-Chairman of the HM Government’s working group on forced marriage 2001 )”
An interesting read. Definitely worth reading.
June 23, 2017
This was a thought provoking story. It is very sad that this sort of stuff still happens in todays time. Just can't imagine going through something such as this.
Read
September 22, 2024isto é uma história real. não quero comentar a vida de Sameem, que é uma mulher corajosa e, pela escrita, talentosa. o livro vai-vos fazer sentir muitas emoções. leiam e admirem
February 10, 2020
I wonder what happened to aunty Peggy.
January 7, 2025
J’ai lu cette autobiographie au collège/lycée et j’ai ADORÉ. Je me rappelle que j’avais été très attristé par l’histoire et surtout que ça m’avait ouvert les yeux sur le monde. Ça m’avait sensibiliser à ce que la femme peut subir dans ce monde. J’avais aussi énormément admiré le courage de cette dame (de cette petite fille).
Il faudrait que je le relise pour redonner mon avis en 2025.
Il faudrait que je le relise pour redonner mon avis en 2025.
November 6, 2025
I read this when I was still in high school and it is by far one of my favourite books. It’s full of cultural conflict, heartbreak, courage and had me in disbelief. Mostly in a negative way. It’s a heavy read, but so, so worth it. I really encourage everyone to read it - my only book suggestion of worth and outside my usual book genre.
Real world issues that you never think about in your day to day life. Cannot stop thinking about this book and so sad I lost my paperback version.
Real world issues that you never think about in your day to day life. Cannot stop thinking about this book and so sad I lost my paperback version.
November 7, 2011
It was a good read but I must say I was annoyed by the main character a lot. Didn't see it mentioned in other reviews but what I noticed is that she wrote a lot of times that she would not give in to her mother but she did give in all the time. even when she had her child and he was about 3 years old, she said she wouldn't let him suffer as she had, but what did she do? She did go to her brothers shop to work for him every day even once she knew her son was not fed while she was gone and was beaten!. Okay if you do not have the strenght or the abilities to escape but do not constantly say you are standing up against them then.
She finally did leave but only because she was lucky that a nice man came in to her life. I think if that would not have happened she would still be there.
Another thing that annoyed me is again how it is shown in this book that a lot of immigrants do not want to mix with westerns. They make sure there children have to marry someone from there old country and than those men, women also receive a visum and can live in Europe. So I was not so in awe of this book as many other reviewers were. She did make me laugh when as a child, she was a muslim, she had the idea of going to houses and sing Christmas songs. So glad they were not caught. lol.
As a child she did have fight in her but they managed to beat it out of her. Still with all this said a quick read.
She finally did leave but only because she was lucky that a nice man came in to her life. I think if that would not have happened she would still be there.
Another thing that annoyed me is again how it is shown in this book that a lot of immigrants do not want to mix with westerns. They make sure there children have to marry someone from there old country and than those men, women also receive a visum and can live in Europe. So I was not so in awe of this book as many other reviewers were. She did make me laugh when as a child, she was a muslim, she had the idea of going to houses and sing Christmas songs. So glad they were not caught. lol.
As a child she did have fight in her but they managed to beat it out of her. Still with all this said a quick read.
February 26, 2013
O Paquistão possui uma rica e singular cultura que preserva tradições estabelecidas ao longo da história. Infelizmente, são essas tradições que muitas das vezes servem de justificação para a violência exercida contra as mulheres, violência essa que pode assumir diferentes facetas ao longo da sua vida.
Até que ponto alguém que não foi amado e respeitado, tem a capacidade de o fazer? Até que ponto são importantes os laços familiares? A distância destrói esses laços? uma mãe que é forçada a se separar de um filho, seja lá por que motivo for, será incapaz de o amar? que formas tem o amor?
Esta história não nos fala unicamente da violência, mas do que está por detrás dela, a cultura e a falta de afectos.
Até que ponto a cultura é desculpa para actos hediondos, até que ponto os afectos recebidos nos primeiros anos de vida, tem a capacidade de modular um caracter ensinando-o a amar e ser amado.
Um livro que retrata uma dura realidade, vivida por muitas mulheres, que não desistem de lutar pelos seus direitos e pela felicidade dos seus filhos, mostrando que essa luta vale a pena.
Até que ponto alguém que não foi amado e respeitado, tem a capacidade de o fazer? Até que ponto são importantes os laços familiares? A distância destrói esses laços? uma mãe que é forçada a se separar de um filho, seja lá por que motivo for, será incapaz de o amar? que formas tem o amor?
Esta história não nos fala unicamente da violência, mas do que está por detrás dela, a cultura e a falta de afectos.
Até que ponto a cultura é desculpa para actos hediondos, até que ponto os afectos recebidos nos primeiros anos de vida, tem a capacidade de modular um caracter ensinando-o a amar e ser amado.
Um livro que retrata uma dura realidade, vivida por muitas mulheres, que não desistem de lutar pelos seus direitos e pela felicidade dos seus filhos, mostrando que essa luta vale a pena.
December 9, 2008
This is from a cuurent downpour of books dealing with abuse or heart break stories avaialable in cheap paperback form. I chose to read this book because although everyone has s story to tell, this one was being told from a perspective of a totally different culture. The story itself is heartbreaking, as is any story of the abuse of a child. The story intertwined nicely through her early years of abuse. I felt her pain which is the point of writing, to feel what another wants you to feel. But as the book progressed I felt she was wrapping things up a little quickly, not taking the care to explain the joy and comfort from escaping.
Did I learn anything different than what I suspected? Did I discover that this ethnicity subjects there children to any worse pain than other ethnicities. No - pain is universal.
Did I learn anything different than what I suspected? Did I discover that this ethnicity subjects there children to any worse pain than other ethnicities. No - pain is universal.
June 29, 2009
I would give this book 10 stars if I could!
I can't believe a mother would put her own child through the things that Sameems mom put her through. This is one of the most heartbreaking books I have ever read. She was given more love from the staff at a childrens home than she recieved from her owm family.
I don't want to say to much about the book and spoil it for others, but I will tell you, once you pick this book up you wont want to put it down!
I can't believe a mother would put her own child through the things that Sameems mom put her through. This is one of the most heartbreaking books I have ever read. She was given more love from the staff at a childrens home than she recieved from her owm family.
I don't want to say to much about the book and spoil it for others, but I will tell you, once you pick this book up you wont want to put it down!
May 6, 2010
This is a real life story. The author is now an elected councillor in moss side. As she tells the desperately sad story of her childhood where only the memories of her life in a childs home were the ones that gave her happiness, and those of the time spent with her family nightmares, you come to respect how much she fought to remain good despite so much evil being imposed on her from the people who should have loved her most. I spent most of this book holding back the tears
May 23, 2012
Wat een prachtig emotioneel meeslepend en meelevend boek! Onbegrijpelijk wat zij heeft meegemaakt en toch nog zo trouw kan zijn aan haar familie. Waargebeurde verhalen weten mij zowiezo altijd wel te prikkelen. Ontheemd is zéker een aanrader voor diegene, die ook graag boeken lezen wat waargebeurd is...
February 23, 2015
Poignant!! Angoissant même!! C'est l'histoire vraie d'une petite fille pakistanaise vivant en Angleterre, maltraitée et battue par sa famille, mariée de force à l'âge de 13 ans, et qui par miracle, arrive à se sauver de cet enfer familial et à écrire un roman pour dénoncer les abus et le poids des traditions d'une société pakistanaise mal intégrée, conservatrice et misogyne!!
March 1, 2016
I would like to thank everyone who has taken their time to read my mums book and review it.
If you would like to find out more news, future signings or just like to ask questions you may have then please feel free to join Sameem Ali's facebook group https://m.facebook.com/groups/8592057379
Many thanks
Az
If you would like to find out more news, future signings or just like to ask questions you may have then please feel free to join Sameem Ali's facebook group https://m.facebook.com/groups/8592057379
Many thanks
Az
March 22, 2010
If anyone thinks their life was hard, they shld read this book. Talks abt the physical abuse a girl has to undergo at the hands of her mother and brother. FaScinating insight into a Pakistani immigrant's life in UK.
May 28, 2012
Wat een boek. Ik heb ervan genoten. Het is wel een verschrikkelijk verhaal natuurlijk, wat zij allemaal heeft moeten doorstaan zeg, niet normaal. Maar toen ik dit boek aan het lezen was, vergat ik alles en iedereen om me heen en dan is het voor mij een boek goed. Zeker vijf duimpjes dit boek!
February 6, 2013
I loved this book to bits I just finished it today I suggest to everyone to read this sad story and understand the whole concept of the book. I hope there's a book to read same like this because I love to read about people's opinions
December 18, 2019
Difficult story but was frustrated by the style of writing sometimes that it was too simple so lost impact. Glad she finally managed to break free, shows how easy it is to become almost brainwashed into accepting a situation.
September 8, 2012
A True life story. Made me cry, laugh and want to reach out to the author. Hard to put down book as at every page the reader is left in shock at what happened to the main character.
October 14, 2012
What a strong and brave little girl she was! Her childhood was so awful, she suffered so much and today she is a great mom, woman and wife :) An example of life, strong and love!
March 22, 2014
It took a lot of courage to tell her story! heartbreaking and honest.
July 19, 2014
This is the best book I've ever read. It opened my eyes to so many things and omg it's just amazing especially because it's a true story and the ending is just amazing
December 15, 2014
Hard hitting, tear jerking true story. This book was truly inspiring for me and I really couldn't put the book down. A must read.
March 4, 2016
This is such a sad story! It's heartbreaking to read what Sameem went through in her life! Gxd bless her.
May 8, 2014
felt so sorry for her when she went pakistan
Displaying 1 - 30 of 66 reviews