My Bipolar Backpack: To The Bottom Of Mental Illness And Back -- A Memoir

by Susan Ralphe

In this powerful memoir Susan Ralphe employs sharp storytelling skills honed over a
long, newspaper-reporting career to tell her own story of long-term, heart-wrenching bipolar
madness.
My Bipolar Backpack begins shortly before the first of two stays in mental hospitals and
ends as she serves in elective office. Sandwiched in between are incidents from a troubled
childhood, a brain that regularly froze during her college years, employment nightmares,
misdiagnosis, suicide attempts, a marriage rocked by mental illness in Susan and alcoholism
in her husband, and mothering failures.
The first chapter gives readers a snapshot view of how it feels to be under the grip of a
manic attack.
“Without warning invisible bands inside my head often tightened until the pressure
became unbearable. It sometimes worsened almost to the point that I thought my head was
going to explode.
“Simultaneously my thoughts raced as though my brain were continually in fast-forward
mode, while my ability to think decelerated. I vividly pictured my brain curling up
into a fetal position…”
Susan recounts how telling staff at the first mental hospital that her husband was the
one who was “crazy,” landed her in a locked unit, the end of the line for the mentally ill.
Terror greeted her at the door in the form of a young woman wearing a football helmet who
hit and kicked Susan as she walked in, and the nurse behind a tall, plastic enclosure who
ignored what was going on. The author describes her unwillingness or inability to talk about
what was troubling her and her resultant discharge with the wrong diagnosis and red-hot
bipolar disorder boiling under the surface, ready to erupt again.
This is a story of soaring accomplishment alternating with black periods of tenseness,
brain freeze, and despair. A little girl who ran home from kindergarten daily during recess
because she feared her mother was going to die, is transformed into valedictorian of her high school
graduating class, then into a college student who was seriously mentally ill. The next
character is a happy bride and new mother who subsequently falls apart under the weight of
her husband’s alcoholism and her younger son’s asthma.
For most of her life, Susan explains, she carefully hid her bipolar disorder from
anyone she could, fearing the stigma that could deliver a second punch to someone already
reeling from illness itself.
In the pages of this memoir the author summons the strength to share her experiences,
confident that other bipolar individuals can find hope and healing in her tale and that their
families, as well as mental health professionals, can gain knowledge and understanding.
She says she dreams of the day when bipolar sufferers will no longer think they must
carry the heavy “bipolar backpacks” in which they hide their disease.
The author grew up in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, graduated from Northern
Michigan University, and worked as a reporter for newspapers in Minnesota and Arizona
including The Duluth Herald and The Phoenix Gazette. She was married for 38 years to her
late husband, Roger, and has two grown sons and nine grandchildren. She presently resides in
the Portland, OR, area.

Genres: Memoir

220 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 25, 2014

Reviews

[Stacey · Rating 5 out of 5]

My Bipolar Backpack was an eyeopener for me. I'm not familiar with with bipolar disorder so everything Susan Ralphe described was a new door opening. She is very resilient in her quest for healing. I appreciated her frankness and honesty. I think putting thoughts and feelings to paper is a form of therapy and clarity. I wanted to throttle her husband for his selfish behavior and contributing to her spiral out of control.

The narrator's voice was calming and soothing. A very easy listen. At first I didn't think she captured the frantic sense of the narrative, but after finishing, her voice was the perfect elixir to the chaos.

I would recommend this book if you or someone you know is suffering from bipolar disorder and if, like me, you have no connection. It's an honest recollection of Susan Ralphe's experiences.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the complimentary audio.

[Natalie all_books_great_and_small · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received an advance reader copy of this book to read in exchange for an honest review via netgalley and the publishers.

***AUDIO BOOK VERSION***
My Bipolar Backpack is an eye-opening memoir by Susan Ralphe about her experiences and life with bipolar disorder. The author combines her mental health battles and journey with bipolar disorder along with her relationship to her husband and children and her career as a newspaper reporter within this memoir told with brutal honesty. This book would be very helpful and insightful to anyone who has bipolar, knows, and supports someone with it or believes they may have it themselves or someone just wanting to learn more about it in general. My heart ached for Susan with the lack of support she received from her husband during some of the darkest points in her life. I also found the author to be a source of inspiration to all with her constant persuit for help and recovery in her persuit for mental wellness.

[Tara Cignarella · Rating 4 out of 5]

My Bipolar Backpack by Susan Ralphe
Narration: C
Content: B+
Best Aspect: Good mental health memoir. Great for anyone who need a personal account of someone living with bipolar disorder.
Worst Aspect: The narration was robotic.
Recommend: Yes.

[Cindi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to the author, narrator, publisher and Net Galley for providing a free e-audio copy of this title in exchange for my honest review.

I always appreciate authors who write memoirs, sharing parts of their lives, being honest with readers and opening themselves up to comments, ratings and reactions. I couldn't do that. Those who share experiences with mental health - either a personal account or a family member or loved one - I am amazed by. Not only are they tapping into personal experiences and emotions, but describing symptoms, explaining conditions.

In my experiences with and life with mental heath issues - and the various stigmas that go along with them - I have read about bipolar disorder, and have witnessed it in others close to me. Reading this account was very insightful. I felt brought into her life and experiences and at the end, I felt like I had more of an understanding of the condition.

I would recommend this to others who are interested in mental health, memoirs or those who have experiences with bipolar disorder.

4.5 stars, rounded up to 5.

[Sue Jack · Rating 4 out of 5]

“My Bipolar Backpack” is a well written, unwaveringly honest and insightful memoir highlighting the extreme difficulties when living with bipolar disorder. The author details her own personal journey navigating the highs and lows that are part and parcel of the condition and offers readers true insight into the challenges the condition poses.
Ralphe shares the coping strategies she has used to manage her condition and offers her thoughts on medication, therapy and other sources of support in order to help others understand how they might help themselves or others living with bipolar.
I am grateful to the publisher and NetGalley for an advanced listener copy of this audiobook and am leaving my honest review voluntarily.

[Bargain Sleuth Book Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who suffered with undiagnosed bipolar disorder until I was 35 and worked in print and broadcast journalism, I found many parallels to the author's story with my life, albeit 15 years later. Ralphe writes with honesty (sometimes too honestly, but to each their own), and I believe books like this are important to help break the stigma that mental illness still brings in the United States. It was well-written and thought-provoking, and I also commend the bravery it took to write about one's struggles.

Thanks to NetGalley and Author's Republic for the digital audiobook. I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[adam Kearney · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a decent book. I really enjoyed the descriptions of what it is like to experience mania and related to the descriptions of depression. It was a fairly quick read, but I don't know what to say about it, other than that it was a memoir. I felt like it kind of ran on at the end, as the author talked about her accomplishments.

It would be a good book for someone who is curious about bipolar disorder, but I feel there are more insightful and intriguing memoirs out there.

Trigger warnings: hospitalization, aggression, paranoia, stigma, internalized ableism, medication.

This book was provided to me by net galley in exchange for a fair and honest review.

[Megan · Rating 4 out of 5]

The title of this one is somewhat over-limited - while the author focuses quite a bit on her bipolar diagnosis at age 40 and its effect on her life, she also details her many experiences and achievements as a reporter, politician, volunteer, wife of an alcoholic, mother of two boys, and more. She makes the valid point that her mental health is a constant consideration in all of those roles, and that we as a society are not great at recognizing and meeting the needs of those living with mental illness.

The author’s writing experience shows in the way that events are documented and presented, but some of the time jumps in the first part of the book are a bit abrupt. Other than that, it’s an interesting story and well told.

Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

My Bipolar Backpack, written by Susan Ralphe, is a memoir written based on the authors own experiences with Bipolar Disorder and Mental Health. In the book, the author discusses her experiences with mental health issues, having a family member with alcoholism, and things that she discovers about herself looking back on her life.
I greatly enjoyed this book, and the way the author looks at her life, and recognizes the parts that Bipolar Disorder and her mental health struggles have manifested, from an early age. I think she did a wonderful job describing her time growing up, going to college, and her married life with her two boys. I also feel that she did a beautiful job describing the way she came back to religion. She recognized that although she wishes she were closer to God during the times she was really struggling with Bipolar Disorder, she still knew that she needed medication to cope with the hand she has been given. I feel that when it comes to religion it can be very easy to "give it up to God" and think he wouldn't give us anything we couldn't handle, but the author was very careful to not fall into this trap.
Thank you to NetGalley, and to the author, publisher, and narrator of this ALC in exchange for an honest review.

[Jerry Woburn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well written

[Lori · Rating 3 out of 5]

My BiPolar Backpack, written by Susan Ralphe, is a memoir of the author’s experience with bipolar disease and a reflection on her life and mental health experiences. While it was fairly well written, as the author had been a journalist, I did not find it very insightful. She does discuss some of her struggles, such as brain freeze. However, the book seemed to be mostly about her accomplishments and her transition to a new career as a politician. She also spent quite a bit of time discussing her husband’s alcoholism, to which she attributed some of her mental health struggles. In the book, which was not totally religious in nature, the author states that God and Jesus helped her with her struggles, and she wished she could have been closer to both. While I appreciate that her religion was important in her recovery, the lithium she took certainly did more for her recovery than prayer alone.

The audiobook version was competently narrated by Janice McNally. Unfortunately, she used the same tone and inflections throughout the book, even when there were conflicts and Ralphe was experiencing mania.

This autobiography is more about perseverance in the face of adversity, which can instill hope. If you truly want to learn more about bipolar disease and other mental health issues, there are more informative books.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the opportunity to listen to this audiobook. The opinions offered are my own.

This is a review of the audiobook.