Free to Weep: Finding the Courage to Grieve and Embracing the God Who Heals

by Brittany Lee Allen

You and I are free to weep because the Savior wept first.Suffering is good. God is teaching you to be content. At least you don’t have cancer. Have you ever heard—or maybe you’ve said—sentiments like these in the face of suffering? Without being able to put our finger on why, thoughts like these can leave us feeling confused, lonely, and disoriented.Is God frustrated by our tears and weakness? Does He weep with us or is He aloof and uncaring? In Free to Weep, Brittany Allen looks to biblical texts to reveal the God who is “near to the brokenhearted” (Psalm 34:18). In each chapter, Brittany combats and corrects lies and half-truths women (including herself) tend to believe about suffering, is shameful.If you’re suffering well, you won’t be downcast.You’re suffering because you sinned.Suffering is good.Experiencing sadness means you’re discontent.Once you learn God’s lesson, your suffering will end.Anxiety and depression are always rooted in sin.And more.
What does it look like to suffer well—to grieve life’s losses, big and small? How does God grieve? Looking to the example of Jesus, our Suffering Savior, readers grow in empathy, truth, and grace for themselves and others. God is with you in your pain. When you’re suffering, He invites you to draw near and rest in Him. Join Brittany in discovering the beauty of God’s heart in Free to Weep.

Genres: Christian

176 pages, Paperback

Published April 7, 2026

Reviews

[Brittany Lee Allen]

👀

[Ashlee Schmidt · Rating 4 out of 5]

In Free to Weep, Brittany gently and wisely explores God’s Word for the answers to ten common questions we ask in the midst of grief and suffering. You will find this book a compassionate and vulnerable companion for those learning to bring their tears to the Lord. I especially appreciated how she ended each chapter examining how Christ perfectly modeled what it looks like to walk through sorrow.

[Lynette · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a sweet invitation to those who suffer to grieve what is grievous, with a Saviour who understands our grief, for he suffered for us.

Brittany has suffered much, but humbly speaks to all, no matter what kind of suffering each of us might have endured. God doesn't turn away from any suffering.

I hope this book will be a balm to many a soul.

[Holly Mackle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Accessible and comforting- Brittany Allen has done a great job of illuminating Christ’s comfort to those who weep over the big and (seemingly) small sorrows of life.

[Linda Maynard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Seen, heard, and loved in our suffering

Through personal story, expert advice, and most importantly, the example of Jesus Christ, Brittany Lee Allen not only comforts readers in their own sorrows, but also points out the crucial reasons for us to do likewise. Ms. Allen eloquently spoke truths that I have yearned for God’s people to understand. If you are suffering, let God encourage you through this book. If you want to understand how to truly comfort others in their sorrows, please read this book as well.

[Amber Thiessen · Rating 4 out of 5]

How free are you with your tears?

Some of us are much more comfortable with them than others. But even as they flow, we apologize, we're stricken with shame and vulnerability, thus hiding ourselves away, as though they're a signal of weakness, a banner of defeat or a judgment of immaturity.

In Free to Weep: Finding the Courage to Grieve and Embracing the God Who Heals, Brittany Allen shows us there's no need to minimize our tears, for when we do we're robbing "ourselves of the comfort and peace found through running to Christ in our weeping." Lament is a part of our faithful worship and the Lord Jesus invites us, beckons us even to turn toward Him in our pain and suffering.

If you've had questions through seasons of hardship and grief, you'll find a helpful resource in this new book!

She writes this book to address questions many Christian women in the church have about suffering. We’ve all heard them, probably asked them and have received them at times as uncharitable attempts at encouragement. So she helps us develop a theology of suffering, reminding us that we are free to weep, because our Saviour did first.

Brittany explores grief, lament, and emotional honesty through a biblical lens. Rather than treating tears as weakness, she encourages us to see sorrow as something God welcomes and redeems.

Each chapter addresses common questions about suffering as she weaves together Scripture, personal experience, and insights from theologians like Tim Keller to help us think biblically about suffering and bring our grief before the Lord.

If you browse the table of contents and find yourself nodding at questions you’ve asked and curious about the answers, you’ll find this a very helpful encouragement.

If you have friends struggling with these questions and you’re walking alongside them, read this to equip you for the conversations you’ll have. The weary, suffering sojourner might not have the capacity to read a book about suffering, but your words of wisdom and encouragement can be a balm for their soul.

{full review here: https://www.amberthiessen.com/post/su...}
*A big thanks to Moody publishers for the complimentary copy and the opportunity to post an honest review

[Courtney · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Brittany Lee Allen's book, Free to Weep, she gives deep reverence to holy suffering. I think there is a gap in discipleship around the topic. Lamenting and weeping before the Lord is not complaining or belittling to His goodness. I am also reading Dark Clouds Deep Mercy and I found reading them together to be complementary. Allen even quotes Mark Vroegop in the chapter about lamenting. Her perspective around suffering revitalizes how I perceive grief and sorrow. I had never considered Jesus as our Suffering Savior, the part about His fasting for 40 days gave me pause. I am thankful that there are talented writers who are pressing into these hard subjects to help us humble ourselves in this area. May we be a friend who weeps with those who weep; moreover, may we be the believer who considers the heart of the Father in our sorrow.

[Candace Heurion · Rating 4 out of 5]

A balm to my soul. As I walked chapter by chapter, I felt like I was entering into each question I faced in my own grief. A beautiful example of how Scripture speaks to our own lives today.

[Lauren DuPrez · Rating 5 out of 5]

This review contains affiliate links.

I received Free to Weep compliments of the author in exchange for my honest review.

Free to Weep is the second title by author Brittany Lee Allen. This book was written to address some of the common questions and misconceptions that arise as Christians navigate suffering. The tone of the book is gentle, and I appreciate how Brittany constantly points readers to Jesus and reminds them that becuase He wept, we are free to weep too. Free to Weep feels like a necessary and timely course correction for the church when it comes to trials and suffering.

The book explains that while many are quick to quote Bible verses to sufferes, this is often like applying bandages to a broken bone. Soul wounds often require extensive care and time to heal. While the intention to bring Scripture to bear on suffering is good, the ways in which Christians tend to do so are not always helpful and what's needed in the moment. Brittany helps readers distinguish that while God is ultimately working all things, including suffering, for good, it doesn't necessarily mean that our suffering itself is good. I found this to be a wise, astute, and desperately needed observation.

I appreciate that the book is saturated with Scripture and includes the gospel message repeated throughout. If you are a Christian who wants to love people well as they suffer, or who wants to be encouraged with Christ's heart for you in your suffering, I highly recommend reading and learning from this book!

[Cara Daniel · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a systematic theology of lament and grief in a memoir-style, easy-to-read format. It is a strictly Christian book. Christ is intertwined in the entire story, someone who is looking for a self-help book without doctrine will not find this book suitable. (No complaints here)

The author walks the readers through her own experiences, and those of others, in a discreet yet satisfying way. We are able to glimpse into her life without the book becoming a biography. The title "Free to Weep" is repeated throughout the book in word or sentiment. Brittany Lee Allen showcases the lament of arguably the most well-known kings of Judah, David and Jesus. Throughout the journey of scripture, she illustrates examples of healthy and reverent discussion with God in seasons of difficulty and painful moments. Ultimately, these things bring God glory.

Although it seems the audience would be a woman, this book would be useful for either gender of multiple ages/stages. I would not recommend to a younger audience due to the graphic nature of abuse detailed in the book - albeit a small portion of the text included this type of content. The discussion of her grief after the death of three of her children also focuses the audience on women, even particularly of child-bearing age.

I am a fairly quick at reading/comprehension, so I read it in a couple of hours. I assume others would not struggle with getting through it either. It was clearly quite rooted in scripture. Each story referenced from the Bible likely will be a familiar one to anyone who has known God for over a year or two. There is opportunity for anyone who wishes to go deeper in the study to commit the verses to memory or write out all the references the author quotes. She uses the m-dash well on page 32.

Favorite Quotes From the Book
" After all, hating ourselves is just another form of pride." page 22
"I look back with regret, knowing how desperate I was for help, yet I didn't pray like a desperate woman." page 23
"Pain can be a sign that goodness is on the horizon." page 33

Cons -
1. For those who would choose to listen - not sure if there is an audio version - would struggle to intake the verses when they are listed many in a row.
2. The book is full of quotes from other books. Though they can be for clarity, I personally get distracted when the writing styles and voices change often.
3. I would coin the term "righteous discontentment", rather than holy. That may just be personal preference.

Pros -
1. The author was concise, there was minimal rambling. Her personal stories did not drag on causing the reader to lose interest.
2. She addressed hot topic issues such as; anxiety and sin, needing not being happy to experience suffering, serving/being served and comparison.
3. Brittany advocates for the reader to draw near through prayer. To draw near to the throne. She does not offer excuses for prayerlessness.
4. With compassion (I am convinced this must be one of her spiritual gifts) the author illustrates what it looks like to empathize with those who suffer, including yourself.
5. She points to Christ, His humanity, divinity and sinless nature multiple times. Never so entangled in her own story does she neglect that of superior importance, the Messiah.

Overall a great read, and worth my dollars and time spent reading it.

[Kayla · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brittany begins this wonderful work with an important and necessary question- What does it look like to suffer well? And boy does she bring the answer home. To suffer well as a believer in Christ Jesus encompasses much more than a single act. It is a way of living, a way of worship as she argues, maybe even a gift back to our Heavenly Father for the way He first suffered for us. This book teaches its readers just that. It leaves you knowing, through the truth of scripture and easy to read application, that we are not only free to weep, but that we have a Savior waiting to bring our woes-big and small, to His feet in surrender.

Brittany says, “The Godly response to tragedy is deep sadness,” and also argues clearly that nobody gets to compare what a tragedy is or what level of difficulty deserves weeping and sadness. Yes and amen!

As someone who has grieved and lamented, and also argues the importance of grieving well to anyone who will listen..I still learned and grew from what Brittany has to offer in Free to Weep. It convinced me even more so to bring every care and concern to the Lord. Although my story doesn’t include church hurt, or even overt “emotional prosperity gospel” (love that name!) I found myself connecting dots about my profound irritation with my weaknesses in life are actually a form of prosperity thinking. I’m reminded of how important it is to be needy for my God and ask for help.

I could go on and on, but frankly my purpose here isn’t to write Cliff Notes on her book so you won’t read it yourself …therefore, I’ll stop here and simply say, this is a must buy/must read for everyone who grieves, ever grieved, or knows someone who is grieving; anyone experiencing chronic pain, anxiety, depression, or the every day difficulties of life ..

…. yes, this book is for EVERYONE who is a believer in Jesus. Or perhaps you aren’t a believer but you’re curious about why us Christians have joy in suffering .. this is a good place to start.

Thank you Brittany for this important work of art!

Some noteworthy quotes:

Maybe our pursuit of self-sufficiency reveals itself in our lives by our belief that we should be able to do everything on our own…. Our goal should not be to feel sufficient in ourselves, but to know Christ as all-sufficient. Pg 24

Turns out, suffering isn’t a gift at all. Yet, in His kindness, God gives us fits amid the suffering. Pg 38

Bad theology about suffering, even if subtle, crushes image-bearers of God. Pg 63

The most harmful part of locking up our grief in a coffin is that it keeps us from communing with God in suffering. Pg68

Sadness can coincide with contentment. Pg 90

What a precious gift it is to be secured by the faithfulness of God. In our suffering, God gives us the best gift He could give: more of Himself. Pg 109

[Panda Incognito · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read many books about suffering, and this stands out as one of the best. Brittany Lee Allen gives a stirring defense of why it is both acceptable and biblically faithful for Christians to feel and express great pain over their difficult life circumstances and personal losses. Lee Allen writes from experience with church cultures that minimize grief, make hurtful comparisons, and imply that if you truly had faith in Jesus, then your traumas and tragedies wouldn't hurt so badly. She challenges these harmful beliefs and presents a biblical vision for what it looks like to faithfully mourn your sorrows.

Lee Allen's experience with multiple miscarriages, physical health issues, chronic pain, and debilitating OCD shape her life perspective, showing that Christians are not immune to both intense suffering and the emotional pain that it causes. In Free to Weep, she presents theological perspectives on suffering and gives vulnerable personal examples, showing that skewed beliefs about suffering misrepresent God and cause harm to people. She encourages Christians to be honest with themselves, God, and others about their pain, and she challenges church communities to become safe places for people to open up about their suffering.

Each chapter debunks a different myth about suffering. Lee Allen emphasizes that even when there may be a kernel of truth to these beliefs, they do not align with biblical teaching or the reality of our experiences, and they add to people's pain. Each chapter concludes with examples of how Jesus responded to suffering, showing that because he wept, mourned, and lamented, we can follow in his steps, knowing that it is not sinful to experience emotional torment over the brokenness in the world and our own lives. I found this book very insightful, and I often stopped and reread especially excellent paragraphs. If I had been highlighting, I would have marked up most of the book!

Free to Weep is a much-needed corrective to common ideas in Christian communities. The author assumes a female readership throughout the book and makes occasional references to the reader being a woman, but her message is much-needed for everyone. I highly recommend this thought-provoking, well-written book to Christians who are dealing with suffering, and to the people who support them.

I received a free copy from the publisher, and am voluntarily leaving an honest review.

[Dee Reads · Rating 3.5 out of 5]

This happens to be my 5th book on grief and suffering this year alone, which definitely shaped how I experienced it. Coming off some heavier, more academically dense, and emotionally grueling reads on the subject, Free to Weep felt distinctly different. It’s probably the most "juvenile" of the stack I've read.

Now, I want to be really clear: I don't say "juvenile" as a slam or a negative criticism at all. What I mean is that it is written in an extremely accessible, simplified, and easy-to-digest way.

Where other books on grief can feel heavy-handed, deeply philosophical, or bogged down in complex theological jargon, Allen keeps things brief, relatable, and remarkably straightforward.

Each chapter zeroes in on toxic half-truths and well-meaning but hurtful phrases people throw around during hard times (things like "at least it’s not worse," "weakness is shameful," or "if you're downcast, you aren't suffering well".) She unpacks why these phrases disorient us and gently dismantles them.

The writing style is simple enough that anyone can pick this up, regardless of where they are mentally or emotionally. This book meets you right where you are without overwhelming you.

She gives clear permission to feel pain, cry, and sit in lament without forcing fake cheerfulness or hiding behind self-sufficiency.

Because I’ve already spent so much time reading about this topic this year, a lot of the material felt like foundational groundwork I had already covered. The chapters move very quickly, and at times I caught myself wishing she had dug just a little deeper into the nuances rather than keeping things at an introductory level.

While it didn't completely blow me away intellectually, I think books like this are incredibly important. It takes a heavy, uncomfortable topic and strips away the barrier to entry. Anyone; from a seasoned reader to someone who rarely opens a book; can pick this up, easily understand it, and glean genuine comfort and truth from its pages.

[Lianna Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book had an argument to make, and it made it clearly and definitively: it is okay to be sad. It is okay to weep. It is okay not to have everything resolved in this life; full healing from grief will only come in glory.

I will forever be grateful to the author for impacting me deeply with this book. After a Sunday sermon that I don’t think intended to make this point, but that seemed to suggest my anxiety should go away if I am trusting the Lord enough, this book affirmed that some anxiety is not chosen but physiological. Sometimes healing from that, too, will only come in glory.

It is okay to be weak, to mourn, to cry. And Jesus himself wept. He fully shared in human weakness, even experiencing what we might describe as anxiety in Gethsemane.

This book is highly needed in Christian circles, and I highly recommend it.

[Brianna Lambert · Rating 5 out of 5]

For all those who grew up being taught to "always look on the bright side" and who experienced the sting of a poorly timed "God works all things together for good" this book is a breath of fresh air. It not only gives us permission to grieve, it demonstrates how our honest grief is actually welcomed by our Father. Brittany hits many different lies we take on about how God views grief, making it accessible to so many situations. I haven't experienced them all, but I've certainly experienced some. This book will be a balm to those who need it for their wounds as well as a teaching tool for those of us who will become the comforters of others in their sorrows.

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was such a gift during a difficult season of life for me. Brittany is a wonderful writer, and she took many complex questions and passages of scripture about grief and suffering and made it easy to understand. Her writing is filled with biblical truth, personal transparency, empathy and compassion. Reading this book felt like I had a friend sitting by my side holding my hand, sharing God’s love with me and reminding me that there is no shame in my tears.

[Bethany Broderick · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brittany writes with a rare combination of clarity and vulnerability, gently but firmly addressing the weak theology of suffering that often shapes how we speak to one another as Christians. She doesn’t shy away from hard questions, but instead grounds her reflections in rich, thoughtful engagement with Scripture. This is a deeply helpful book for anyone in a season of suffering—but even more so for those who want to care well for others in it. You’ll walk away better equipped to offer comfort that is not only sincere, but truly rooted in biblical truth.

[Lynnelle Peters · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gentle, full of biblical truth and honest storytelling...Brittany has written a book that offers many reminders of the hope we have because of the sovereign tenderness of our good God. I'm grateful for each and every encouragement to wholeheartedly seek the freedom available to us through the expression of our true grief.

[Luminous Reads · Rating 4 out of 5]

“You and I are free to weep because our Savior wept first.”


This book invites readers to learn how to grieve well, to find empathy in the heart of Jesus, and to receive grace for ourselves as believers when we face suffering and sadness.

Exploring important topics such as false beliefs that our suffering is due to sin or the condemnation we often feel when experiencing emotions like sadness or loneliness, Brittany reveals truth through biblical wisdom and personal stories of her own suffering. I love how she points readers to find hope in Jesus, who suffered the most, and shows us what it looks like to experience suffering rightly positioned with God.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher. My review reflects my honest opinion.

[Jenna Tardiff · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought this book was really great. The writing was very good and easy to follow. The author was theologically sound. Very firm in truth and yet gentle and delivery. A great theology of suffering, and a must read for anyone who desire to go into biblical counseling.