This Is Not About Us

by Allegra Goodman

A kaleidoscopic portrait of a modern American family—steadfast, complicated, begrudging, and loving—from the bestselling author of Isola

Was this just a brief skirmish, or the beginning of a thirty-year feud? In the Rubenstein family, it could go either way.

When their beloved sister passes away, Sylvia and Helen Rubinstein are unmoored. A misunderstanding about apple cake turns into a decade of stubborn silence. Busy with their own lives—divorces, dating, career setbacks, college applications, bat mitzvahs and ballet recitals—their children do not want to get involved. As for their grandchildren? Impossible.

With This Is Not About Us, master storyteller Allegra Goodman—whose prior collection was heralded as “one of the most astute and engaging books about American family life” (The Boston Globe)—returns to the form and subject that endeared her to legions of readers. Sharply observed and laced with humor, This Is Not About Us is a story of growing up and growing old, the weight of parental expectations, and the complex connection between sisters—a big-hearted book about the love that binds a family across generations.

Genres: Fiction, Literary Fiction, Family, Family Drama, Contemporary, Jewish, Adult Fiction

336 pages, Hardcover

Expected publication February 10, 2026

About the author

Hello, Good Readers!

My new book "This Is Not About Us" will be published in February! You can order it here.

https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/bo...

My novel "Isola" is now in paperback. This is a historical novel based on the true story of a young woman who sails from France to the New World in 1542 and is marooned on an island in the Gulf of Saint Lawrence.

I am also the author of several other books including, "Sam," a novel about a young girl's exuberance, wonder, and ambition as she comes of age.

Jenna Bush Hager picked "Sam" for her Today Show book club and said, "Sam is about as perfect of a coming-of-age story as I have ever read."

About me: I was born in Brooklyn, but I grew up in Honolulu where I did not have to wear shoes in school until fifth grade.

I now live in Cambridge, MA and I own boots. In addition to writing fiction, I read a lot and teach on occasion. In my free time, I swim and walk around the city.

I have four children, now getting pretty grown up. My oldest son (an economist) reads everything. My second son (a law student and grad student in political theory) reads mostly non-fiction. I'm working on this! My third son (an aspiring chemist) loves science fiction, fantasy, and history. My daughter (a user experience designer) enjoys biography and YA novels--but only if they have exceptionally beautiful covers.

I read fiction, biography, history, poetry, and books about art. I also enjoy discovering authors in translation.

When I was a seven-year-old living in Hawaii, I decided to become a novelist--but I began by writing poetry and short stories.

In high school and college I focused on short stories, and in June, 1986, I published my first in "Commentary."

My first book was a collection of short stories, "Total Immersion."

My second book, "The Family Markowitz" is a short story cycle that people tend to read as a novel.

Much of my work is about family in its many forms. I am also interested in religion, science, the threats and opportunities of technology, and the exploration of islands, real, and imaginary.

My novel, "Kaaterskill Falls" travels with a group of observant Jews to the Catskill Mountains.

"Intuition" enters a research a lab, where a young post-doc makes a discovery that excites everybody except for one skeptic--his ex-girlfriend.

A rare collection of cookbooks stars in my novel, "The Cookbook Collector."

A girl named Honor tries to save her mother in my dystopian YA novel, "The Other Side of the Island."

With Michael Prince, I have co-authored a supercool writing textbook. If you teach composition, take a look at "Speaking of Writing: a Brief Rhetoric."

If you'd like to learn more about me and about each of my books, check out my website:

http://allegragoodman.com/

Find me on Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/AllegraGoodman

Or on Instagram:

@allegragoodmanwriter

And of course, you can check out the reviews I post here on Goodreads. Generally, I use my Goodreads reviews to spotlight books I love and recommend.

Reviews

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

A story about a Jewish American family, the Rubenstein’s.
Helen, Sylvia, and Jeanne are elderly sisters, Jeanne, the youngest is dying of cancer at the start of the novel , at her funeral gathering, Sylvia bakes an apple cake and Helen is furious saying that is her own cake recipe. This argument keeps them from talking to each other again.
The following chapters each follow a different extended family member.. sons, daughters, and grandchildren… their conflicts, grudges, special events, job troubles, relationship troubles, etc..
Through all the madness in life they all still want to connect with each other.
I enjoyed these stories of the family members and even though some times were trying…there was a lot of humor too.

Thank you to Netgalley and Random House/ The Dial Press for the gifted ARC, in exchange for my honest review.

[Betsy Robinson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a saga of an extended family—Jewish Americans—that will appeal to people who live by the maxim, explicit or implicit, that "family is everything."

It is beautifully written and each chapter is as cohesive as a short story, so if you can't remember who everybody is in relation to the others, no problem: it will become clear.

Very well done.

[theliterateleprechaun · Rating 4 out of 5]

This contemporary story, highlighting three generations of Rubinsteins, a Jewish-American family, is set between 2015 - 2017 and gives readers a peek behind the curtain at the ‘blessings’ of family.

When the youngest of the Rubinstein sisters passes away, the remaining sisters struggle to hold the multi-generational family together. Jeanne, at 74, was definitely the glue that held the family together.

I found myself smiling at the cause of sibling grievances, about how the different generations dealt with grief and the importance each placed on different things. Sylvia and Helen soon learn that life goes on despite their radio silence…it’s not just about them!

Goodman has written a quiet, unassuming novel that becomes a mirror for readers to see the value in enjoying the diversity of each other and the precious time we spend together.

I was gifted this copy and was under no obligation to provide a review.

[Erin · Rating 3 out of 5]

ARC for review. To be published February 10, 2026.

3 stars

A story about three Jewish sisters, their children and grandchildren (I mention they are Jewish only because it is central to some of the story.) All of the lives seem melancholy or worse, and, honestly, reading this infected me and made me feel a little down myself. It’s not that it’s a bad book; maybe I just read it at the wrong time.

[Ellen Ross · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so relatable. Family feuds, grief, and all of the big events in life - everything is included in this story. I loved the characters and saw parts of myself in each of them. Loved the humor sprinkled throughout and the banter between characters. There were so many relatable themes especially ageing and the pressure of parental expectations but really this book is nostalgic for any reader because it’s about the ties that bind us as family.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Robin · Rating 5 out of 5]

In the opening story of This is Not About Us, sisters Helen and Sylvia become estranged after the funeral of their younger sister, Jeanne, in a dispute over an apple cake. Told in a series of interconnected stories about this extended family, Goodman explores the ties that bring them together and the history and emotions that keep them apart. There is Phoebe, the granddaughter who busks with Jeanne's priceless violin, the Nutcracker dancing obsession of granddaughters, a visit to Tanglewood, and many family celebrations. Occasionally very funny (as in the dueling seders held by Jeanne's sons,) often very moving, and always absorbing, I loved this novel.

[Kiersten Hardy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is, categorically, about us. A giant mirror to the inner workings of an imperfect family - this book reflects emotional, illogical and raw relationships fueled by grief and clashing personalities. You will find a piece of yourself staring back at you while reading. Consider yourself warned.

Like I would gravitate towards a favorite cousin or steer clear of an overbearing aunt, I connected with some povs deeply and found others to be less compelling. My absolute favorite is Lily; my heart shattered while reading Ambrose and I was rooting for her every step of the way.

Referencing the family tree is a must during the first few chapters… I did not (due to reading the digital copy) and have mild regrets.

[Kasa Cotugno · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although billed as a novel, this could be classified as linked short stories in that each chapter, focussing on various members of a large family, could be read as a standalone. But given together, they form a rich, cohesive whole with much humor and sadness, with a family torn apart by small differences but held together by large situations. Many characters are given more attention than others, appearing as walk-ons in subsequent stories. Not particularly original, but readable.

[Helen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This multigenerational family story has many family members. I took a screenshot of the family tree so that I could keep track of each character featured in the individual chapters. I found the beginning a bit slow but once I got into the story I became quite invested in this novel.
Most families have some dysfunctional members and this strong Jewish family certainly had some issues. I enjoyed reading about the various generations and how they attempted to understand, and sometimes tolerate, each other. In the end their family love, compassion and forgiveness seemed to bring a nice closure to the story.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for this advanced reader’s copy. This is my own opinion.

[Sue · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thanks to NetGalley and the Publisher for the ARC of This Is Not About Us by Allegra Goodman.

This one really got me thinking about family — the ties that hold us together, the misunderstandings that push us apart, and how little things can fester into years of distance. Sylvia and Helen’s story is messy, real, and sometimes funny in the way only family can be. Goodman captures the small moments that carry so much weight — a word said, a silence kept, a memory revisited.

It made me reflect on my own family, on grudges and love, and how the people closest to us shape our lives in ways we don’t always notice.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5
Perfect for readers who enjoy character-driven stories about family, connection, and the complexity of human relationships

[Emily Poche · Rating 2 out of 5]

Thank you to Random House for providing this ARC for review consideration via NetGalley. All opinions are my own.

This is Not About Us by Allegra Goodman is a story of a large, interwoven family in the days and months following the death of a member. In the immediate wake of Jeanne’s death, her sisters stop speaking to one another seemingly over an apple cake. The book is told in a series of vignettes each centering on a different family member.

The great irony of this book, is that in one of the chapters, a character bemoans how the book he’s ghostwriting is too soft, too bland, without tension or bite. This, unfortunately, is the exact criticism I’d levy towards This is Not About Us. This story is a portrait of a family, told without any criticism. It’s presented in such a straightforward manner that even when you think a character might reflect, they stay very much the same. Additionally, while the book is very much a character study, there’s very little in the way of stakes. The plots are benign and sometimes plodding. There’s a great amount of internal fretting but very little by way of action.

The stories of Phoebe and Lilly are bright spots. The characters aren’t necessarily “good” or “bad” but they’re on the whole pretty similar; anxious, self important, and deeply unhappy. It’s a weird feeling to wish hardship on the characters to match just how miserable they’ve already presented themselves. While as a reader i don’t yearn for constant optimism in a story, but in a character showcase, i do crave variety. The characters have a way of blending together.

For the positives, for there are some; the author does have a very beautiful way of writing. She crafts her sentences well, and it’s clear that she has great talent. Her meanings are clear and crisp, and her word choice is really excellent.

I think that not every reader will have the experience I had. I think that if you can see your family reflected in this story, you’ll find an affinity that increases your enjoyment. But as a random reader of the author’s work, I was not particularly moved by the book. 2/5.

[Brooklyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Advance copy from #Netgalley and #PenguinRandomHouse Bittersweet set of stories around a large New England Jewish family - spread out from Boston to Providence. Sylvia and Helen are the matriarchs of the family. The book begins with Jeanne’s death - the third sisters - and ends with a birth. Beautifully written - each chapter is a self contained story focusing on different members of the family. The two older surviving sisters have created a family feud over - of all things - apple cake. The apple cake smells wafts throughout the book. I felt some parts / stories were more interesting than others - but also some stories are incredibly moving. I was very moved by the stories around Debra - her ex husband Richard *a wonderfully realized character) and his new girlfriend Heather. Old traditions are laid to rest and new traditions are created - a new family grows out of the ashes of the older traditional family. Yet not all traditions are dashed. Very different from her other books including Isola- it’s a smaller story but the details are right and much of it is moving. A family learning how to deal with change and parenting and sistering.

[Patty Ramirez · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this novel so much that I had a hard time putting it down! This had everything that I love: So many characters that we needed a family tree, sisters mad at each other, and everyone else just trying to go through life, but still entangled in this feud somehow.

Loved Goodman’s writing, the names of the chapters, and how almost everyone got a POV.

Read this!

Thank you to Dial Press and the author for providing a free copy of this book through NetGalley.

[Bonnie Goldberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Put this one on your pre-order or TBR shelves!

Allegra Goodman is known for offering literate well written and compelling family stories. This is Not About Us is no exception. This is a sprawling tale about the Rubinstein family - three sisters, their offspring, spouses, in-laws and grandchildren. While chapters are told from a different perspective of a family member or someone adjacent to the family, the novel feels extremely cohesive and each chapter moves the various plots and subplots along at a compelling clip. Goodman absolutely nails the life of an east Coast Jewish American family - the guilt, the wry and sarcastic humour, the generational divides, the recriminations and the feuds - oy! the feuds! Indeed a feud about an apple cake brought to a shiva sets off an epic battle. My only complaint is that this book ended - I fervently hope Goodman will bring back the Rubinsteins in another novel. Thank you to Random House, the Dial Press and NetGalley for this DRC. Highly recommend!

[Jackie · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75 ⭐️

Some stories quietly sneak up on you, and this was one of them. This was my first book by Allegra Goodman, and I really enjoyed it. It’s a heartfelt story about family, growing up, and growing old—told with warmth and insight. This timeless story follows two sisters whose small misunderstanding over an apple cake turns into years of silence, affecting their whole family. It’s a warm, witty story about family, forgiveness, and how tiny conflicts can leave lasting marks.

Goodman’s writing feels warm, insightful, and easy to connect with. She captures family dynamics with quiet humor and emotion, making her characters feel real and relatable.

In the end, I’d recommend This Is Not About Us to readers who enjoy quiet, character-driven stories about family, forgiveness, and the passage of time. It’s the kind of book that sneaks up on you and leaves you thinking about the people you love.

Thank you to Net Galley and Random House for this advance copy in exchange for my honest review.

[Keely · Rating 2 out of 5]

While there’s no denying Allegra is a talented writer, this one just didn’t do it for me. The story moves slowly through various family dynamics, with each chapter focusing on a different member and their personal struggles. Unfortunately, I never felt truly pulled in or invested in any of them. The pacing dragged, the tension I expected from a family rift never really landed, and by the end, nothing seemed to come together in a satisfying way.

[Sacha · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars

I kept coming back to the same simultaneous thought throughout this read: (1) this content is so relatable and (2) literary fiction is not. This paradox made me enjoy the beauty and complexity of the central situation, but I also think it will challenge some readers.

This is my second book by this author, and I really appreciate what Goodman achieves across genres and with developmental innovations. In this case, a particularly gripping part of the work is in the ever evolving (and sometimes devolving) family relationships. Many readers will relate to the challenges of being bound to fallible people throughout their lives. It's chilling to watch a feud develop and go strong, and it's even more fascinating to observe the ripple effects throughout the generations, as well as the endless desire, for some, to magically heal the rift. Many of us have lived this, and Goodman captures both the painful awkwardness and surprising humor that can arise from these situations.

While these characters are bound by familial and religious ties, I wanted to feel more connected to them - and to their outcomes - consistently. I did find myself more engaged with certain characters and observably less invested in others. Similarly, the pacing worked for me usually but not always, which is not an experience I had with my previous (and completely different) read from this author.

Overall, I loved the concept and enjoyed how this content unfurled. I'm looking forward to more from Goodman.

*Special thanks to NetGalley and Madison Dettlinger at Random House Marketing for this widget, which I received in exchange for an honest review. The opinions expressed here are my own.

[Maddy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved Allegra Goodman’s “Sam” that was a Read With Jenna pick a few years ago, so was very excited to receive this ARC!

This is exactly the kind of novel I devour. I have always been drawn to family sagas and the drama of everyday life and this one did not disappoint. I was hooked from the very first page.

This book follows a Jewish-American and family over the course of several years following a death and subsequent estrangement of the remaining siblings. I loved the format of this novel - each chapter took us into the point of view of various family members in each branch of the family. I found out after I finished this book that the author released many of the chapters in a magazine over time. Despite this, it does not feel disjointed or confusing to read.

I loved all of the characters and their little quirks and idiosyncrasies. My ONLY complaint is that I could’ve read on and on, I wanted more.

I will definitely be reading more from Allegra Goodman - I somehow missed “Isola” this year and so I just ordered it for myself for Christmas!

Many thanks to NetGalley as always and to Madison Dettlinger at Dial Press for the advanced digital copy! “This Is Not About Us” will be published on February 10, 2026 and I can’t wait to add the hardcopy to my shelf!

[Mimi · Rating 4 out of 5]

17 chapters long, each chapter a short glance at the three generations of the Rubinstein family. It starts with a funeral and ends with a birth. In between relationships fall apart and new relationships develop. A disagreement between two formerly close sisters results in an irreparable rift. Parents and children often agree to disagree. Siblings experience various ups and downs. Divorced parents have joint custody of their children and the ensuing problems that entails. Others manage to have long-lasting marriages. Children work towards figuring out what they want in life. The families celebrate religious ceremonies and Jewish holidays together: A Passover Seder; a Bat Mitzvah; a visit to the cemetery; a Brit Milah (circumcision ceremony); even Yom Kippur with its lengthy service. And lots of memories and reminiscing. In other words, life!

Thank you to NetGalley and Madison Dettlinger of Dial Press for the opportunity to read a free ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Allison · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to the author and publisher for this advanced reader copy!

I am grateful to have had another Allegra Goodman book to read, I have loved her style of writing ever since I read Kaaterskill Falls and this was very reminiscent of that same style. I love a good dysfunctional family trope, especially a Jewish family which Goodman captures their nuances pretty well.

I will sometimes get frustrated by this trope (just communicate better!) but this wasn't that way for me. I think it's because all the characters knew how to show that they really were good on the inside, and just didn't know how to always show it, put down their ego, etc. But you really got a good glimpse of how good every character was, and that made me want the family to succeed, and made me want to have the same family!

[Alicia · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 stars. This was really good writing and enjoyable but a little unsatisfying? About three sisters and their families, written in each of their perspectives of what’s going on in their life at the moment. It jumped around from character to character each chapter and was mainly just little stories about their life, and once I found that out and knew I wasn’t gonna get a juicy plot or something crazy, I found myself not as excited to read. As always, thank you Random House Publishing Group for the earc.

[Harleen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was expecting This is Not About Us to be a linear story, but it turned out to be a collection of short stories focusing on various members of a large, multigenerational family. I enjoyed getting to know each family member and seeing life through their eyes, but I didn't feel particularly connected to many of the characters.

Overall, I enjoyed the concept and writing.

Thank you to Netgalley and Random House for the arc! All opinions are my own.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

A death and apple cake is all it takes to destroy the relationship of two sisters. Though these two sisters have stopped talking, their family’s lives must keep going. Told through interconnected stories spanning across multiple years and family members, Goodman captures the beautiful, messy, and chaotic joy of being part of a family.

There was something satisfying reading about these messy characters and their roles within this family. Although I really enjoyed the book, I found the end to fall flat and left many plot lines unfinished.

Thank you NetGalley for the arc!

[Calli · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is Not About Us was more like a collection of short stories than a novel - there didn't seem to be a common thread running through the story, other than the fact that the characters were all related to one another. I do enjoy reading about dysfunctional families, and I did like specific chapters, but I felt like we didn't get enough depth on any of the characters, which left me feeling like I barely knew them. The start of the book was promising, with the two women losing their sister and then becoming estranged after a misunderstanding involving an apple cake. I thought the story would pick up from there, but I was bored at several points as there was so much mundane dialogue. I thought there would be more of a pay-off at the end, but it kind of just ended...

Thank you to NetGalley and Random House for an advanced copy of the book!!

[Mayleen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love family dramas and this didn’t disappoint. There were times my anxiety level went up when reading these stories. Isn’t that what happens in family? I saw a review that claimed “poor character development”. I feel the opposite. Often times I felt like I was sitting in the living room with them.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very quick read about an extended family and their lives, inter-connectedness, and struggles. I really enjoyed it and liked learning about their Jewish customs as well. Highly recommend! Thank you to Net Galley for this digital ARC.

[Cynthia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn’t realize this book was made up of loosely interconnected stories. I kept wondering why the author jumped around so much. Good writing, good characters, but ultimately unsatisfying.

[Bridget Fitzpatrick · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this! This Is Not About Us is more of a collection of stories about a Jewish American family's drama, with each chapter centering around a different family member, but it all fit together really cohesively. Honestly, who among us hasn't had family drama around an apple-centered baked good? Solid 4/5 stars!

Thank you to NetGalley and Random House for sending me this book!

[Megan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received an ARC of this novel through NetGalley. Thank you to Random House for approving me!

This story follows a large family led by three sisters, Helen the oldest, Sylvia the middle child, and Jeanne the youngest. This story begins with the three sisters in their old age. Jeanne, the baby of the sisters, passes away. An event (a possibly trivial one) occurs during her funeral services that leads to the remaining sisters, Helen and Sylvia, becoming estranged. The children and grandchildren of the sisters remain in each other lives, and refuse to get involved in their "feud". We follow the lives of Helen's two daughters, Jeanne's two sons and three grandchildren, and Sylvia's only son and his two daughters. Humorous, sarcastic, and heartwarming, Goodman takes the reader in the chaos of each interpersonal relationship of the family members and leaves them wanting just another chapter with their current POV.

WOW. Goodman is a STORY TELLER. This novel reminds me of Fredrik Backman's 'Anxious People', and Zadie Smith's, 'On Beauty', in both the bitter sweet tone throughout, and the messiness of an unfiltered view of any family. This was so relatable in the little arguments that would be created from seemingly nothing, but that's just how family can be sometimes. They know just the right way to set you off. Yet, at the end of the day, you want it to be your family versus everyone else. All of the characters emanate this resolve. So many quippy pieces of dialogue that I had to highlight. I was laughing out loud at the judgmental thoughts of some of the older characters about the younger characters. They're, of course, judging out of love and concern, but they still judge. It is all so uniquely modern-day family chaos. With each of the characters we followed, although flawed, like any human, I cherished them. This family was a great collection of characters to write about. Overall, a great time was had. Hopefully it has mentally prepared me for all of the following family time throughout the upcoming holidays ;)!

4.25/5 stars!

This will be published on February 10, 2026 and highly recommend checking it out when it releases!

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a devoted admirer of Goodman’s Isola, I approached This Is Not About Us with high expectations, and found a novel that is entirely different yet equally brilliant. Instead of the moody, atmospheric precision of her earlier work, Goodman turns here to a sweeping family saga told through a series of interrelated short stories. The structure is ambitious, but it pays off: what begins as something fragmented slowly gathers itself into an unexpectedly cohesive whole.

The novel’s format becomes its most revealing tool. Each chapter operates like a private room in a shared house, showing how often we believe we’re navigating life in isolation even as we remain tethered; tightly and tenuously by family and tradition. The shifting perspectives allow for real intimacy with individual characters while also granting a broad, almost aerial view of the family as a collective organism. The tensions that move through the book, including old grudges and parental expectations, arrive with a lived-in authenticity.

Among an already vivid cast, Lilly stands out. Her gentle curiosity and deep-feeling nature make her a kind of emotional compass for the entire story, a beacon of hope, perspective, and forward motion.

Goodman’s prose here is more observational than in Isola, with a clear eye for small gestures, shifting loyalties, and the undercurrents that shape family life. Despite its “slice of life” sensibility, the book is compulsively readable, propelled less by plot than by recognition. Readers of all backgrounds will recognize pieces of their own family stories within the Rubensteins.

Funny, moving, and deeply absorbing, This Is Not About Us is a raw look at the ways families wound and fortify us. It’s a novel of connection disguised as disconnection, and Goodman handles that paradox with remarkable grace.

Thank you to NetGalley and The Dial Press for the e-arc copy of this book. Opinions are my own.