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This Is Not About Us
A kaleidoscopic portrait of a modern American family—steadfast, complicated, begrudging, and loving—from the bestselling author of Isola
Was this just a brief skirmish, or the beginning of a thirty-year feud? In the Rubenstein family, it could go either way.
When their beloved sister passes away, Sylvia and Helen Rubinstein are unmoored. A misunderstanding about apple cake turns into a decade of stubborn silence. Busy with their own lives—divorces, dating, career setbacks, college applications, bat mitzvahs and ballet recitals—their children do not want to get involved. As for their grandchildren? Impossible.
With This Is Not About Us, master storyteller Allegra Goodman—whose prior collection was heralded as “one of the most astute and engaging books about American family life” (The Boston Globe)—returns to the form and subject that endeared her to legions of readers. Sharply observed and laced with humor, This Is Not About Us is a story of growing up and growing old, the weight of parental expectations, and the complex connection between sisters—a big-hearted book about the love that binds a family across generations.
Was this just a brief skirmish, or the beginning of a thirty-year feud? In the Rubenstein family, it could go either way.
When their beloved sister passes away, Sylvia and Helen Rubinstein are unmoored. A misunderstanding about apple cake turns into a decade of stubborn silence. Busy with their own lives—divorces, dating, career setbacks, college applications, bat mitzvahs and ballet recitals—their children do not want to get involved. As for their grandchildren? Impossible.
With This Is Not About Us, master storyteller Allegra Goodman—whose prior collection was heralded as “one of the most astute and engaging books about American family life” (The Boston Globe)—returns to the form and subject that endeared her to legions of readers. Sharply observed and laced with humor, This Is Not About Us is a story of growing up and growing old, the weight of parental expectations, and the complex connection between sisters—a big-hearted book about the love that binds a family across generations.
336 pages, Hardcover
First published February 10, 2026
193 people are currently reading
21402 people want to read
About the author
Allegra Goodman
21 books1,740 followersHello, Good Readers!
My new book "This Is Not About Us" will be published in February! You can order it here.
https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/bo...
My novel "Isola" is now in paperback. This is a historical novel based on the true story of a young woman who sails from France to the New World in 1542 and is marooned on an island in the Gulf of Saint Lawrence.
I am also the author of several other books including, "Sam," a novel about a young girl's exuberance, wonder, and ambition as she comes of age.
Jenna Bush Hager picked "Sam" for her Today Show book club and said, "Sam is about as perfect of a coming-of-age story as I have ever read."
About me: I was born in Brooklyn, but I grew up in Honolulu where I did not have to wear shoes in school until fifth grade.
I now live in Cambridge, MA and I own boots. In addition to writing fiction, I read a lot and teach on occasion. In my free time, I swim and walk around the city.
I have four children, now getting pretty grown up. My oldest son (an economist) reads everything. My second son (a law student and grad student in political theory) reads mostly non-fiction. I'm working on this! My third son (an aspiring chemist) loves science fiction, fantasy, and history. My daughter (a user experience designer) enjoys biography and YA novels--but only if they have exceptionally beautiful covers.
I read fiction, biography, history, poetry, and books about art. I also enjoy discovering authors in translation.
When I was a seven-year-old living in Hawaii, I decided to become a novelist--but I began by writing poetry and short stories.
In high school and college I focused on short stories, and in June, 1986, I published my first in "Commentary."
My first book was a collection of short stories, "Total Immersion."
My second book, "The Family Markowitz" is a short story cycle that people tend to read as a novel.
Much of my work is about family in its many forms. I am also interested in religion, science, the threats and opportunities of technology, and the exploration of islands, real, and imaginary.
My novel, "Kaaterskill Falls" travels with a group of observant Jews to the Catskill Mountains.
"Intuition" enters a research a lab, where a young post-doc makes a discovery that excites everybody except for one skeptic--his ex-girlfriend.
A rare collection of cookbooks stars in my novel, "The Cookbook Collector."
A girl named Honor tries to save her mother in my dystopian YA novel, "The Other Side of the Island."
With Michael Prince, I have co-authored a supercool writing textbook. If you teach composition, take a look at "Speaking of Writing: a Brief Rhetoric."
If you'd like to learn more about me and about each of my books, check out my website:
http://allegragoodman.com/
Find me on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/AllegraGoodman
Or on Instagram:
@allegragoodmanwriter
And of course, you can check out the reviews I post here on Goodreads. Generally, I use my Goodreads reviews to spotlight books I love and recommend.
My new book "This Is Not About Us" will be published in February! You can order it here.
https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/bo...
My novel "Isola" is now in paperback. This is a historical novel based on the true story of a young woman who sails from France to the New World in 1542 and is marooned on an island in the Gulf of Saint Lawrence.
I am also the author of several other books including, "Sam," a novel about a young girl's exuberance, wonder, and ambition as she comes of age.
Jenna Bush Hager picked "Sam" for her Today Show book club and said, "Sam is about as perfect of a coming-of-age story as I have ever read."
About me: I was born in Brooklyn, but I grew up in Honolulu where I did not have to wear shoes in school until fifth grade.
I now live in Cambridge, MA and I own boots. In addition to writing fiction, I read a lot and teach on occasion. In my free time, I swim and walk around the city.
I have four children, now getting pretty grown up. My oldest son (an economist) reads everything. My second son (a law student and grad student in political theory) reads mostly non-fiction. I'm working on this! My third son (an aspiring chemist) loves science fiction, fantasy, and history. My daughter (a user experience designer) enjoys biography and YA novels--but only if they have exceptionally beautiful covers.
I read fiction, biography, history, poetry, and books about art. I also enjoy discovering authors in translation.
When I was a seven-year-old living in Hawaii, I decided to become a novelist--but I began by writing poetry and short stories.
In high school and college I focused on short stories, and in June, 1986, I published my first in "Commentary."
My first book was a collection of short stories, "Total Immersion."
My second book, "The Family Markowitz" is a short story cycle that people tend to read as a novel.
Much of my work is about family in its many forms. I am also interested in religion, science, the threats and opportunities of technology, and the exploration of islands, real, and imaginary.
My novel, "Kaaterskill Falls" travels with a group of observant Jews to the Catskill Mountains.
"Intuition" enters a research a lab, where a young post-doc makes a discovery that excites everybody except for one skeptic--his ex-girlfriend.
A rare collection of cookbooks stars in my novel, "The Cookbook Collector."
A girl named Honor tries to save her mother in my dystopian YA novel, "The Other Side of the Island."
With Michael Prince, I have co-authored a supercool writing textbook. If you teach composition, take a look at "Speaking of Writing: a Brief Rhetoric."
If you'd like to learn more about me and about each of my books, check out my website:
http://allegragoodman.com/
Find me on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/AllegraGoodman
Or on Instagram:
@allegragoodmanwriter
And of course, you can check out the reviews I post here on Goodreads. Generally, I use my Goodreads reviews to spotlight books I love and recommend.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 299 reviews
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
⭐️ 4 ⭐️ This is a nonlinear story about a Jewish American family that follows three generations post a family feud, exploring multigenerational dynamics, estranged relationships, exhausting expectations while simultaneously capturing their profound love and enduring legacy through an intimate and emotional writing that feels very relatable. It’s so well written, very poignant and deeply character driven. Goodman simply nails the “fragments” of daily life with grace and sharp observations of ties that bind a family.
The story begins with Jeanne who is dying from cancer. She’s one of the three sisters and the glue that holds the family together. With her passing, a family feud divides the remaining sisters apart and the story then follows years of grief, grudges, curveballs and celebrations. The storytelling captures the realities and expectations of domestic life and partnerships as well as the imperfections that make us unique in our own ways.
This book is perfect for anyone who loves reading about messy and complicated dynamics of a family life. Each chapter was like a slice of cake, a different point of view, told from a perspective of different family members. It carried a lot of weight that felt very familiar to me. From its quiet moments and the ‘in-betweens’, I loved the silence and its simplicity. I think this is what makes the novel outstanding.
I’ve been a fan of Allegra Goodmans’ writing since I’ve read Isola, which I can’t stop recommending enough! I can’t wait and see what else she has in store for us.
Many thanks to NetGalley, Random House Publisher and the author, Allegra Goodman for an early ARC.
Publication date: February 10, 2026
The story begins with Jeanne who is dying from cancer. She’s one of the three sisters and the glue that holds the family together. With her passing, a family feud divides the remaining sisters apart and the story then follows years of grief, grudges, curveballs and celebrations. The storytelling captures the realities and expectations of domestic life and partnerships as well as the imperfections that make us unique in our own ways.
This book is perfect for anyone who loves reading about messy and complicated dynamics of a family life. Each chapter was like a slice of cake, a different point of view, told from a perspective of different family members. It carried a lot of weight that felt very familiar to me. From its quiet moments and the ‘in-betweens’, I loved the silence and its simplicity. I think this is what makes the novel outstanding.
I’ve been a fan of Allegra Goodmans’ writing since I’ve read Isola, which I can’t stop recommending enough! I can’t wait and see what else she has in store for us.
Many thanks to NetGalley, Random House Publisher and the author, Allegra Goodman for an early ARC.
Publication date: February 10, 2026
December 13, 2025
A story about a Jewish American family, the Rubenstein’s.
Helen, Sylvia, and Jeanne are elderly sisters, Jeanne, the youngest is dying of cancer at the start of the novel , at her funeral gathering, Sylvia bakes an apple cake and Helen is furious saying that is her own cake recipe. This argument keeps them from talking to each other again.
The following chapters each follow a different extended family member.. sons, daughters, and grandchildren… their conflicts, grudges, special events, job troubles, relationship troubles, etc..
Through all the madness in life they all still want to connect with each other.
I enjoyed these stories of the family members and even though some times were trying…there was a lot of humor too.
Thank you to Netgalley and Random House/ The Dial Press for the gifted ARC, in exchange for my honest review.
Helen, Sylvia, and Jeanne are elderly sisters, Jeanne, the youngest is dying of cancer at the start of the novel , at her funeral gathering, Sylvia bakes an apple cake and Helen is furious saying that is her own cake recipe. This argument keeps them from talking to each other again.
The following chapters each follow a different extended family member.. sons, daughters, and grandchildren… their conflicts, grudges, special events, job troubles, relationship troubles, etc..
Through all the madness in life they all still want to connect with each other.
I enjoyed these stories of the family members and even though some times were trying…there was a lot of humor too.
Thank you to Netgalley and Random House/ The Dial Press for the gifted ARC, in exchange for my honest review.
October 19, 2025
This is a saga of an extended family—Jewish Americans—that will appeal to people who live by the maxim, explicit or implicit, that "family is everything."
It is beautifully written and each chapter is as cohesive as a short story, so if you can't remember who everybody is in relation to the others, no problem: it will become clear.
Very well done.
It is beautifully written and each chapter is as cohesive as a short story, so if you can't remember who everybody is in relation to the others, no problem: it will become clear.
Very well done.
January 17, 2026
3.5 rounding to 4
Expect a meandering family saga with a lot of characters and not much “plot.” It was good, but not great.
Expect a meandering family saga with a lot of characters and not much “plot.” It was good, but not great.
September 27, 2025
ARC for review. To be published February 10, 2026.
3 stars
A story about three Jewish sisters, their children and grandchildren (I mention they are Jewish only because it is central to some of the story.) All of the lives seem melancholy or worse, and, honestly, reading this infected me and made me feel a little down myself. It’s not that it’s a bad book; maybe I just read it at the wrong time.
3 stars
A story about three Jewish sisters, their children and grandchildren (I mention they are Jewish only because it is central to some of the story.) All of the lives seem melancholy or worse, and, honestly, reading this infected me and made me feel a little down myself. It’s not that it’s a bad book; maybe I just read it at the wrong time.
October 31, 2025
This contemporary story, highlighting three generations of Rubinsteins, a Jewish-American family, is set between 2015 - 2017 and gives readers a peek behind the curtain at the ‘blessings’ of family.
When the youngest of the Rubinstein sisters passes away, the remaining sisters struggle to hold the multi-generational family together. Jeanne, at 74, was definitely the glue that held the family together.
I found myself smiling at the cause of sibling grievances, about how the different generations dealt with grief and the importance each placed on different things. Sylvia and Helen soon learn that life goes on despite their radio silence…it’s not just about them!
Goodman has written a quiet, unassuming novel that becomes a mirror for readers to see the value in enjoying the diversity of each other and the precious time we spend together.
I was gifted this copy and was under no obligation to provide a review.
When the youngest of the Rubinstein sisters passes away, the remaining sisters struggle to hold the multi-generational family together. Jeanne, at 74, was definitely the glue that held the family together.
I found myself smiling at the cause of sibling grievances, about how the different generations dealt with grief and the importance each placed on different things. Sylvia and Helen soon learn that life goes on despite their radio silence…it’s not just about them!
Goodman has written a quiet, unassuming novel that becomes a mirror for readers to see the value in enjoying the diversity of each other and the precious time we spend together.
I was gifted this copy and was under no obligation to provide a review.
February 11, 2026
I loved Isola, but I'm so disappointed with this one.
Pre-Read Notes:
Allegra Goodman wrote Isola, which was probably my favorite read of 2025. So I requested this arc and probably would have sold a toe to get a copy.
I tend to be interested in stories about silences in families, so the title of this book grabbed me. From the opening moment, the reader can feel the complicated separation between the members of this family. Goodman is pretty great with opening up a story.
"So, this was freedom. Perfect emptiness. This was what he had been waiting for. What did it say about him that his first impulse was to buy something?" p160
Final Review
(thoughts & recs) Well I loved Isola but I did not like this. I don't recommend it because of the many expressions of ableism and the fact that I can't tell if the author is calling them out of not. I think the book is well-written and I was enjoying it before the stuff about childhood trauma. TW for child abuse for the rest of this review.
And for everything I had to say about it on my way through, I come away with no real idea what I read or if it had a point.
I'm quite sorry I didn't like this one more.
A Few Things:
✔️ "Their living doll with her blond curls and round blue eyes. [...T]hey’d pulled her in their wagon over grass bumpy with apples from the apple tree. Later, ... Helen and Sylvia had walked their little sister to school. Now it was dreadful to approach her— hair just wisps, voice nearly gone, her cough breaking every sentence. Horror, pity, shame. Jeanne’s older sisters felt all that at once, to see her now and to remember her as she had been." p10 Goodman impeccably depicts both sisterhood and death anxiety in one short passage. Dang this author blows my mind.
✔️ Allegra uses big clots of adjectives, like three or four at once in their own sentences. This creates a potent effect. Sometimes I like it. Others? Slow. Clunky. Annoying.
✔️ "Yes, you had a difficult childhood, but do you have to traumatize everybody else too? Haven’t you heard of food banks?" p I resent the suggestion that surviving trauma in childhood makes someone abusive. Some of us get therapy and turn out real nice. Also, people who grow up in stable homes can turn into absolutely terrible people. Violence and abuse are not reliable indicators of childhood trauma and many perpetrators report stable or non-abusive upbringings. Additionally, childhood trauma is extremely common. As for abuse, according to UNICEF, 60% of children under 5 around the globe have experienced corporal punishment or psychological harm, which means childhood abuse is the norm, not the exception. Child abuse is the most common form of domestic violence and the least researched and least resourced. I encourage fiction writers to hesitate before suggesting or saying that violence follows trauma in their characters. The reality doesn't bear that idea out. This book contains other instances of ableism also. I'm calling it out here because I can't tell if the author is calling out these (regrettably common) prejudices, or if she agrees with them. If she is calling them out, it's not clear that she is and so she's just proliferating the stigma.
✔️ Experimental elements such as mid-scene POV switch from third to second person and back fall flat.
Content Notes: ableist language, ableism, anti-trauma sentiments, pathologizing violence, divorce, depression,
Thank you to the author Allegra Goodman, Random House, and NetGalley for an accessible digital arc of THIS IS NOT ABOUT US. All views are mine.
Pre-Read Notes:
Allegra Goodman wrote Isola, which was probably my favorite read of 2025. So I requested this arc and probably would have sold a toe to get a copy.
I tend to be interested in stories about silences in families, so the title of this book grabbed me. From the opening moment, the reader can feel the complicated separation between the members of this family. Goodman is pretty great with opening up a story.
"So, this was freedom. Perfect emptiness. This was what he had been waiting for. What did it say about him that his first impulse was to buy something?" p160
Final Review
(thoughts & recs) Well I loved Isola but I did not like this. I don't recommend it because of the many expressions of ableism and the fact that I can't tell if the author is calling them out of not. I think the book is well-written and I was enjoying it before the stuff about childhood trauma. TW for child abuse for the rest of this review.
And for everything I had to say about it on my way through, I come away with no real idea what I read or if it had a point.
I'm quite sorry I didn't like this one more.
A Few Things:
✔️ "Their living doll with her blond curls and round blue eyes. [...T]hey’d pulled her in their wagon over grass bumpy with apples from the apple tree. Later, ... Helen and Sylvia had walked their little sister to school. Now it was dreadful to approach her— hair just wisps, voice nearly gone, her cough breaking every sentence. Horror, pity, shame. Jeanne’s older sisters felt all that at once, to see her now and to remember her as she had been." p10 Goodman impeccably depicts both sisterhood and death anxiety in one short passage. Dang this author blows my mind.
✔️ Allegra uses big clots of adjectives, like three or four at once in their own sentences. This creates a potent effect. Sometimes I like it. Others? Slow. Clunky. Annoying.
✔️ "Yes, you had a difficult childhood, but do you have to traumatize everybody else too? Haven’t you heard of food banks?" p I resent the suggestion that surviving trauma in childhood makes someone abusive. Some of us get therapy and turn out real nice. Also, people who grow up in stable homes can turn into absolutely terrible people. Violence and abuse are not reliable indicators of childhood trauma and many perpetrators report stable or non-abusive upbringings. Additionally, childhood trauma is extremely common. As for abuse, according to UNICEF, 60% of children under 5 around the globe have experienced corporal punishment or psychological harm, which means childhood abuse is the norm, not the exception. Child abuse is the most common form of domestic violence and the least researched and least resourced. I encourage fiction writers to hesitate before suggesting or saying that violence follows trauma in their characters. The reality doesn't bear that idea out. This book contains other instances of ableism also. I'm calling it out here because I can't tell if the author is calling out these (regrettably common) prejudices, or if she agrees with them. If she is calling them out, it's not clear that she is and so she's just proliferating the stigma.
✔️ Experimental elements such as mid-scene POV switch from third to second person and back fall flat.
Content Notes: ableist language, ableism, anti-trauma sentiments, pathologizing violence, divorce, depression,
Thank you to the author Allegra Goodman, Random House, and NetGalley for an accessible digital arc of THIS IS NOT ABOUT US. All views are mine.
January 11, 2026
This is Not About Us takes a deep dive into the multigenerational Rubenstein family who come together after the death of their sister. The story explores the intricacies and complexities of each familial relationship.
This is Not About Us is written uniquely, and each chapter tells the story of a different family member. I really enjoyed the humorous moments and how the story was written with so much heart.
Allegra Goodman is clearly a brilliant author. Her prior work, Isola, was one of my top reads of 2025. However, I did find This is Not About Us to be a bit too slow moving. I typically love books about families but I had a difficult time getting invested in the story. But even though This is Not About Us wasn't a favorite of mine, I still see a lot of readers who will absolutely love this one.
I listened to the audiobook format which is read by Kimberly Farr who did an excellent job narrating.
This is Not About Us by Allegra Goodman will be available on February 10. Many thanks to Penguin Random House Audio for the gifted audiobook!
This is Not About Us is written uniquely, and each chapter tells the story of a different family member. I really enjoyed the humorous moments and how the story was written with so much heart.
Allegra Goodman is clearly a brilliant author. Her prior work, Isola, was one of my top reads of 2025. However, I did find This is Not About Us to be a bit too slow moving. I typically love books about families but I had a difficult time getting invested in the story. But even though This is Not About Us wasn't a favorite of mine, I still see a lot of readers who will absolutely love this one.
I listened to the audiobook format which is read by Kimberly Farr who did an excellent job narrating.
This is Not About Us by Allegra Goodman will be available on February 10. Many thanks to Penguin Random House Audio for the gifted audiobook!
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
3.75 stars rounded up
"A kaleidoscopic portrait of a modern American family—steadfast, complicated, begrudging, and loving—from the bestselling author of Isola."
Sisters Helen and Sylvia haven't spoken for a decade over an apple cake. This family saga of a Jewish American family introduces us to each of the sister's children and grandchildren. Each chapter seems like a separate story rather than flowing as one story as much as I would have preferred. What it does a great job at is showing how small things in a family can tear us apart but the love always brings us back. It also explores parental expectations for their children regarding academics and extracurricular activities. It is beautifully written and relatable. If you enjoy family sagas this is a good one.
The audiobook performance by Kimberly Farr is excellent and adds to story. It was a great companion to my digital copy.🎧
Many thanks to NetGalley, The Dial Press, PRH Audio and Allegra Goodman for an advance reader's copy and advance listening copy. All opinions are my own.
"A kaleidoscopic portrait of a modern American family—steadfast, complicated, begrudging, and loving—from the bestselling author of Isola."
Sisters Helen and Sylvia haven't spoken for a decade over an apple cake. This family saga of a Jewish American family introduces us to each of the sister's children and grandchildren. Each chapter seems like a separate story rather than flowing as one story as much as I would have preferred. What it does a great job at is showing how small things in a family can tear us apart but the love always brings us back. It also explores parental expectations for their children regarding academics and extracurricular activities. It is beautifully written and relatable. If you enjoy family sagas this is a good one.
The audiobook performance by Kimberly Farr is excellent and adds to story. It was a great companion to my digital copy.🎧
Many thanks to NetGalley, The Dial Press, PRH Audio and Allegra Goodman for an advance reader's copy and advance listening copy. All opinions are my own.
Read
February 11, 2026Thank you, Random House | The Dial Press, for sending me this ARC. This one looks interesting.
This is definitely a book that invites readers into a lively and chaotic family gathering. You may feel unsure about being there (it feels a bit messy at times), yet you can’t help but stay engaged. There is surely tension, but also tenderness and humor. A bittersweet story for sure. I really enjoyed the range of emotions this book encompasses.
I liked how the book is written, following an "episode" like structure. Each part focuses on a different family member. I did struggle at times to remain interested. It is a slow burn, and usually, I am okay with that, but this would lack the connection I desire. Perhaps because it spans three generations, each chapter features extended relatives. It just felt like a little too much for me. Perhaps listening to the audio version would have helped me.
If you enjoy family sagas, this oen is for you! 3 Stars for me!
Pub Date: Feb 10, 2026
As always, all thoughts are my own. 🖤💫
This is definitely a book that invites readers into a lively and chaotic family gathering. You may feel unsure about being there (it feels a bit messy at times), yet you can’t help but stay engaged. There is surely tension, but also tenderness and humor. A bittersweet story for sure. I really enjoyed the range of emotions this book encompasses.
I liked how the book is written, following an "episode" like structure. Each part focuses on a different family member. I did struggle at times to remain interested. It is a slow burn, and usually, I am okay with that, but this would lack the connection I desire. Perhaps because it spans three generations, each chapter features extended relatives. It just felt like a little too much for me. Perhaps listening to the audio version would have helped me.
If you enjoy family sagas, this oen is for you! 3 Stars for me!
Pub Date: Feb 10, 2026
As always, all thoughts are my own. 🖤💫
August 22, 2025
This book is so relatable. Family feuds, grief, and all of the big events in life - everything is included in this story. I loved the characters and saw parts of myself in each of them. Loved the humor sprinkled throughout and the banter between characters. There were so many relatable themes especially ageing and the pressure of parental expectations but really this book is nostalgic for any reader because it’s about the ties that bind us as family.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
January 19, 2026
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an ARC of this novel. All my thoughts and opinions are my own.
Real rating: 1.6 stars
Everybody in this book is miserable and so am I.
This Is Not About Us is Not About Anything Remotely Interesting, unfortunately. This is not a story; this is a collection of stories about one large family told from various points of views.
I had to fight for every page I read and, even then, I genuinely cannot tell you a single thing about this book other than the fact that they’re Jewish and religious. There’s way too many family members and POV switches, none of whom have even a sprinkle of personality.
Nobody likes each other or themselves and I don’t like any of them either. More than once, I found myself scratching my head in wonder and contemplating what exactly was the author’s purpose in writing this novel. Now that I’ve finished it, I can confidently say I do not have an answer to this question.
Real rating: 1.6 stars
Everybody in this book is miserable and so am I.
This Is Not About Us is Not About Anything Remotely Interesting, unfortunately. This is not a story; this is a collection of stories about one large family told from various points of views.
I had to fight for every page I read and, even then, I genuinely cannot tell you a single thing about this book other than the fact that they’re Jewish and religious. There’s way too many family members and POV switches, none of whom have even a sprinkle of personality.
Nobody likes each other or themselves and I don’t like any of them either. More than once, I found myself scratching my head in wonder and contemplating what exactly was the author’s purpose in writing this novel. Now that I’ve finished it, I can confidently say I do not have an answer to this question.
September 4, 2025
In the opening story of This is Not About Us, sisters Helen and Sylvia become estranged after the funeral of their younger sister, Jeanne, in a dispute over an apple cake. Told in a series of interconnected stories about this extended family, Goodman explores the ties that bring them together and the history and emotions that keep them apart. There is Phoebe, the granddaughter who busks with Jeanne's priceless violin, the Nutcracker dancing obsession of granddaughters, a visit to Tanglewood, and many family celebrations. Occasionally very funny (as in the dueling seders held by Jeanne's sons,) often very moving, and always absorbing, I loved this novel.
September 26, 2025
This is, categorically, about us. A giant mirror to the inner workings of an imperfect family - this book reflects emotional, illogical and raw relationships fueled by grief and clashing personalities. You will find a piece of yourself staring back at you while reading. Consider yourself warned.
Like I would gravitate towards a favorite cousin or steer clear of an overbearing aunt, I connected with some povs deeply and found others to be less compelling. My absolute favorite is Lily; my heart shattered while reading Ambrose and I was rooting for her every step of the way.
Referencing the family tree is a must during the first few chapters… I did not (due to reading the digital copy) and have mild regrets.
Like I would gravitate towards a favorite cousin or steer clear of an overbearing aunt, I connected with some povs deeply and found others to be less compelling. My absolute favorite is Lily; my heart shattered while reading Ambrose and I was rooting for her every step of the way.
Referencing the family tree is a must during the first few chapters… I did not (due to reading the digital copy) and have mild regrets.
October 28, 2025
Although billed as a novel, this could be classified as linked short stories in that each chapter, focussing on various members of a large family, could be read as a standalone. But given together, they form a rich, cohesive whole with much humor and sadness, with a family torn apart by small differences but held together by large situations. Many characters are given more attention than others, appearing as walk-ons in subsequent stories. Not particularly original, but readable.
October 4, 2025
Thank you to Random House for providing this ARC for review consideration via NetGalley. All opinions are my own.
This is Not About Us by Allegra Goodman is a story of a large, interwoven family in the days and months following the death of a member. In the immediate wake of Jeanne’s death, her sisters stop speaking to one another seemingly over an apple cake. The book is told in a series of vignettes each centering on a different family member.
The great irony of this book, is that in one of the chapters, a character bemoans how the book he’s ghostwriting is too soft, too bland, without tension or bite. This, unfortunately, is the exact criticism I’d levy towards This is Not About Us. This story is a portrait of a family, told without any criticism. It’s presented in such a straightforward manner that even when you think a character might reflect, they stay very much the same. Additionally, while the book is very much a character study, there’s very little in the way of stakes. The plots are benign and sometimes plodding. There’s a great amount of internal fretting but very little by way of action.
The stories of Phoebe and Lilly are bright spots. The characters aren’t necessarily “good” or “bad” but they’re on the whole pretty similar; anxious, self important, and deeply unhappy. It’s a weird feeling to wish hardship on the characters to match just how miserable they’ve already presented themselves. While as a reader i don’t yearn for constant optimism in a story, but in a character showcase, i do crave variety. The characters have a way of blending together.
For the positives, for there are some; the author does have a very beautiful way of writing. She crafts her sentences well, and it’s clear that she has great talent. Her meanings are clear and crisp, and her word choice is really excellent.
I think that not every reader will have the experience I had. I think that if you can see your family reflected in this story, you’ll find an affinity that increases your enjoyment. But as a random reader of the author’s work, I was not particularly moved by the book. 2/5.
This is Not About Us by Allegra Goodman is a story of a large, interwoven family in the days and months following the death of a member. In the immediate wake of Jeanne’s death, her sisters stop speaking to one another seemingly over an apple cake. The book is told in a series of vignettes each centering on a different family member.
The great irony of this book, is that in one of the chapters, a character bemoans how the book he’s ghostwriting is too soft, too bland, without tension or bite. This, unfortunately, is the exact criticism I’d levy towards This is Not About Us. This story is a portrait of a family, told without any criticism. It’s presented in such a straightforward manner that even when you think a character might reflect, they stay very much the same. Additionally, while the book is very much a character study, there’s very little in the way of stakes. The plots are benign and sometimes plodding. There’s a great amount of internal fretting but very little by way of action.
The stories of Phoebe and Lilly are bright spots. The characters aren’t necessarily “good” or “bad” but they’re on the whole pretty similar; anxious, self important, and deeply unhappy. It’s a weird feeling to wish hardship on the characters to match just how miserable they’ve already presented themselves. While as a reader i don’t yearn for constant optimism in a story, but in a character showcase, i do crave variety. The characters have a way of blending together.
For the positives, for there are some; the author does have a very beautiful way of writing. She crafts her sentences well, and it’s clear that she has great talent. Her meanings are clear and crisp, and her word choice is really excellent.
I think that not every reader will have the experience I had. I think that if you can see your family reflected in this story, you’ll find an affinity that increases your enjoyment. But as a random reader of the author’s work, I was not particularly moved by the book. 2/5.
October 23, 2025
This multigenerational family story has many family members. I took a screenshot of the family tree so that I could keep track of each character featured in the individual chapters. I found the beginning a bit slow but once I got into the story I became quite invested in this novel.
Most families have some dysfunctional members and this strong Jewish family certainly had some issues. I enjoyed reading about the various generations and how they attempted to understand, and sometimes tolerate, each other. In the end their family love, compassion and forgiveness seemed to bring a nice closure to the story.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for this advanced reader’s copy. This is my own opinion.
Most families have some dysfunctional members and this strong Jewish family certainly had some issues. I enjoyed reading about the various generations and how they attempted to understand, and sometimes tolerate, each other. In the end their family love, compassion and forgiveness seemed to bring a nice closure to the story.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for this advanced reader’s copy. This is my own opinion.
January 19, 2026
✨Oh, the beautiful, messy, glorious, heartbreaking reality that is family. The author brings all of it to life in these pages with remarkable insight. She writes about an imperfect family with all the love and conflict of it all – and in a way that feels so very familiar. I found myself laughing out loud at some point and tearing up at others. So relatable.
✨What really hit home for me was the way the storytelling captured both the triumphs and heartbreaks of family life – along with all those the quiet moments in between that tend to shape who we eventually become. I loved the authenticity, and I couldn’t help but see myself and my own family at times.
✨I definitely recommend.
🌿Read if you like:
✨Family sagas
✨Multiple perspectives
✨Character-driven stories
✨Multigenerational dynamics
✨Good humor
🎧I truly love the voice of narrator Kimberly Farr, and she was phenomenal in her performance for this book. With so many characters to portray, she brought each one to life with distinctive flair and authenticity. Beautifully done.
✨What really hit home for me was the way the storytelling captured both the triumphs and heartbreaks of family life – along with all those the quiet moments in between that tend to shape who we eventually become. I loved the authenticity, and I couldn’t help but see myself and my own family at times.
✨I definitely recommend.
🌿Read if you like:
✨Family sagas
✨Multiple perspectives
✨Character-driven stories
✨Multigenerational dynamics
✨Good humor
🎧I truly love the voice of narrator Kimberly Farr, and she was phenomenal in her performance for this book. With so many characters to portray, she brought each one to life with distinctive flair and authenticity. Beautifully done.
September 2, 2025
Thanks to NetGalley and the Publisher for the ARC of This Is Not About Us by Allegra Goodman.
This one really got me thinking about family — the ties that hold us together, the misunderstandings that push us apart, and how little things can fester into years of distance. Sylvia and Helen’s story is messy, real, and sometimes funny in the way only family can be. Goodman captures the small moments that carry so much weight — a word said, a silence kept, a memory revisited.
It made me reflect on my own family, on grudges and love, and how the people closest to us shape our lives in ways we don’t always notice.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5
Perfect for readers who enjoy character-driven stories about family, connection, and the complexity of human relationships
This one really got me thinking about family — the ties that hold us together, the misunderstandings that push us apart, and how little things can fester into years of distance. Sylvia and Helen’s story is messy, real, and sometimes funny in the way only family can be. Goodman captures the small moments that carry so much weight — a word said, a silence kept, a memory revisited.
It made me reflect on my own family, on grudges and love, and how the people closest to us shape our lives in ways we don’t always notice.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5
Perfect for readers who enjoy character-driven stories about family, connection, and the complexity of human relationships
December 7, 2025
Advance copy from #Netgalley and #PenguinRandomHouse Bittersweet set of stories around a large New England Jewish family - spread out from Boston to Providence. Sylvia and Helen are the matriarchs of the family. The book begins with Jeanne’s death - the third sisters - and ends with a birth. Beautifully written - each chapter is a self contained story focusing on different members of the family. The two older surviving sisters have created a family feud over - of all things - apple cake. The apple cake smells wafts throughout the book. I felt some parts / stories were more interesting than others - but also some stories are incredibly moving. I was very moved by the stories around Debra - her ex husband Richard *a wonderfully realized character) and his new girlfriend Heather. Old traditions are laid to rest and new traditions are created - a new family grows out of the ashes of the older traditional family. Yet not all traditions are dashed. Very different from her other books including Isola- it’s a smaller story but the details are right and much of it is moving. A family learning how to deal with change and parenting and sistering.
February 10, 2026
If you know me, you know I love books centered on family relationships, especially those that highlight the messiness and emotional complexity of sibling dynamics. This story, about a Jewish American family, beautifully captures love, legacy, and imperfection in the aftermath of a feud between sisters. It’s a multigenerational novel told from several family members’ perspectives. Although it can be a quiet read at times, I appreciate stories that feel realistic and prompt self-reflection. Filled with nostalgia, humor, and relatable insights about family and the bonds that connect us, it resonated deeply. If you enjoy character-driven stories about family, relationships, and human connection, I highly recommend this book.
January 5, 2026
I didn’t want this story to end. Pubs Feb 10, 2026.
Three sisters of a Jewish American family live their lives surrounded by family members whom they love and love arguing with. Traditions are important but oft times silly involving more, ‘we always do it this way.’ The grandchildren typically get impatient with their elders.
To me this family seems totally normal. Squabbles between generations no matter your culture. Having grown up in a large Italian American family so similar.
The youngest sister dies of cancer after a gallant fight as the book opens at her funeral. The older sisters compete with apple cake, a revered family recipe. One brings it to the catered post funeral meal and the riff begins.
Love, humor and pettiness abound within the families. Divorce, estranged kids, new lives merge with tradition. It’s all of us, all families. I loved it.
Thanks Netgalley and Dial Press.
Three sisters of a Jewish American family live their lives surrounded by family members whom they love and love arguing with. Traditions are important but oft times silly involving more, ‘we always do it this way.’ The grandchildren typically get impatient with their elders.
To me this family seems totally normal. Squabbles between generations no matter your culture. Having grown up in a large Italian American family so similar.
The youngest sister dies of cancer after a gallant fight as the book opens at her funeral. The older sisters compete with apple cake, a revered family recipe. One brings it to the catered post funeral meal and the riff begins.
Love, humor and pettiness abound within the families. Divorce, estranged kids, new lives merge with tradition. It’s all of us, all families. I loved it.
Thanks Netgalley and Dial Press.
October 29, 2025
Put this one on your pre-order or TBR shelves!
Allegra Goodman is known for offering literate well written and compelling family stories. This is Not About Us is no exception. This is a sprawling tale about the Rubinstein family - three sisters, their offspring, spouses, in-laws and grandchildren. While chapters are told from a different perspective of a family member or someone adjacent to the family, the novel feels extremely cohesive and each chapter moves the various plots and subplots along at a compelling clip. Goodman absolutely nails the life of an east Coast Jewish American family - the guilt, the wry and sarcastic humour, the generational divides, the recriminations and the feuds - oy! the feuds! Indeed a feud about an apple cake brought to a shiva sets off an epic battle. My only complaint is that this book ended - I fervently hope Goodman will bring back the Rubinsteins in another novel. Thank you to Random House, the Dial Press and NetGalley for this DRC. Highly recommend!
Allegra Goodman is known for offering literate well written and compelling family stories. This is Not About Us is no exception. This is a sprawling tale about the Rubinstein family - three sisters, their offspring, spouses, in-laws and grandchildren. While chapters are told from a different perspective of a family member or someone adjacent to the family, the novel feels extremely cohesive and each chapter moves the various plots and subplots along at a compelling clip. Goodman absolutely nails the life of an east Coast Jewish American family - the guilt, the wry and sarcastic humour, the generational divides, the recriminations and the feuds - oy! the feuds! Indeed a feud about an apple cake brought to a shiva sets off an epic battle. My only complaint is that this book ended - I fervently hope Goodman will bring back the Rubinsteins in another novel. Thank you to Random House, the Dial Press and NetGalley for this DRC. Highly recommend!
January 18, 2026
I loved this novel so much that I had a hard time putting it down! This had everything that I love: So many characters that we needed a family tree, sisters mad at each other, and everyone else just trying to go through life, but still entangled in this feud somehow.
Loved Goodman’s writing, the names of the chapters, and how almost everyone got a POV.
Read this!
Thank you to Dial Press and the author for providing a free copy of this book through NetGalley.
Loved Goodman’s writing, the names of the chapters, and how almost everyone got a POV.
Read this!
Thank you to Dial Press and the author for providing a free copy of this book through NetGalley.
February 11, 2026
Six FREAKING stars.
This book is about nothing and yet, it is about everything.
Let me start with what this book is NOT. Readers shouldn’t come into this expecting a traditional plot or neatly shaped character arcs. There are no tidy resolutions, no grand narrative payoff. I suspect that the structure of this book will frustrate some readers. But for a certain cohort of us readers with a love for untraditional literary fiction, This Is Not About Us will be magic.
So let me tell you what this book IS.
It’s an immersive portrait of quirky, deeply human characters. It’s laugh-out-loud funny. It’s a charming and painfully relatable family drama that gently nudges you into reflecting on your own family — your role, your grudges, your love. The characters feel full, the dialogue is witty, and the family dynamic is chaotic in the most recognizable way.
Although some situations that occur in the book are beyond ridiculous, there is eery familiarity with the small catastrophes. When Helen hijacks Jeanne’s nonreligious celebration of life with a religious tangent, Sylvia resists interrupting her because “this is not about her.” When Sylvia brings a “contraband” apple cake to the wake that creates a decades long estrangement between her and Helen, it captures that bewildering yet recognizable phenomenon where one small moment becomes the straw that breaks the camel’s back (especially with siblings, especially with sisters). When Phoebe, heartbroken and lost after a breakup, spends her summer playing violin in Penn Station, you’re left wondering whether she’s earning money, escaping her parents stuffy household, or trying to find herself. The book is filled with these vignettes.
There was something utterly unputdownable about this book. Not because of a twist or a mystery that kept me on the edge of my seat, but because I simply wanted to stay with these people. I actually tried to stay up past midnight to finish it and failed; I woke up the next morning with my Kindle still beside me.
I don’t know that I can describe This Is Not About Us any better than that. The familial world Goodman creates is so vivid and alive that I didn’t want to leave it. I loved being there as a witness. My love for this book is in the simplicity, not the overly poetic prose or obscure and profound themes. Much like reading The Correspondent by Virginia Evans, this was a book where I simply grew to love being…there.
This book was genuinely special—eccentric, quirky, strange, and laugh-out-loud funny. I was hooked from the very first pages and remained fully engaged through the final chapter. I laughed often, sometimes unexpectedly. If I’m lucky, I hope I’ll continue to find—and read—unconventional fiction like this for the rest of my life.
This book is about nothing and yet, it is about everything.
Let me start with what this book is NOT. Readers shouldn’t come into this expecting a traditional plot or neatly shaped character arcs. There are no tidy resolutions, no grand narrative payoff. I suspect that the structure of this book will frustrate some readers. But for a certain cohort of us readers with a love for untraditional literary fiction, This Is Not About Us will be magic.
So let me tell you what this book IS.
It’s an immersive portrait of quirky, deeply human characters. It’s laugh-out-loud funny. It’s a charming and painfully relatable family drama that gently nudges you into reflecting on your own family — your role, your grudges, your love. The characters feel full, the dialogue is witty, and the family dynamic is chaotic in the most recognizable way.
Although some situations that occur in the book are beyond ridiculous, there is eery familiarity with the small catastrophes. When Helen hijacks Jeanne’s nonreligious celebration of life with a religious tangent, Sylvia resists interrupting her because “this is not about her.” When Sylvia brings a “contraband” apple cake to the wake that creates a decades long estrangement between her and Helen, it captures that bewildering yet recognizable phenomenon where one small moment becomes the straw that breaks the camel’s back (especially with siblings, especially with sisters). When Phoebe, heartbroken and lost after a breakup, spends her summer playing violin in Penn Station, you’re left wondering whether she’s earning money, escaping her parents stuffy household, or trying to find herself. The book is filled with these vignettes.
There was something utterly unputdownable about this book. Not because of a twist or a mystery that kept me on the edge of my seat, but because I simply wanted to stay with these people. I actually tried to stay up past midnight to finish it and failed; I woke up the next morning with my Kindle still beside me.
I don’t know that I can describe This Is Not About Us any better than that. The familial world Goodman creates is so vivid and alive that I didn’t want to leave it. I loved being there as a witness. My love for this book is in the simplicity, not the overly poetic prose or obscure and profound themes. Much like reading The Correspondent by Virginia Evans, this was a book where I simply grew to love being…there.
This book was genuinely special—eccentric, quirky, strange, and laugh-out-loud funny. I was hooked from the very first pages and remained fully engaged through the final chapter. I laughed often, sometimes unexpectedly. If I’m lucky, I hope I’ll continue to find—and read—unconventional fiction like this for the rest of my life.
February 11, 2026
Goodman’s book is a collection of 17 short stories about three generations of the fictional Rubinstein family. In my opinion, the book is good, but not great; I think the book would have been better if it had been reworked into a novel because it just did not feel coherent enough for me.
However, I did enjoy much of Goodman’s language. Here are a few examples:
Wendy said that she had always loved women but had been closeted—a word Helen found strangely offensive. She had great closets. She’d organized them long before closet organizing became a sport and a profession. The thought of her own daughter closeted seemed an insult not only to Helen’s intelligence, but to her housekeeping.
“Helen never listens to me,” Sylvia declared in front of the entire family assembled at Jeanne’s bedside. “I’m invisible to her.”
Amazed at this mixed metaphor, Helen said, “Obviously I see you.”
At the end of the week, Richard picked up his new glasses. Nora was there, and all the displays, just as he had left them, but he came alone. The errand was ordinary, gray—until he left the store with his new lenses. Then the world changed. The train, the streets, the smallest details were precise. Revelation. Upgrade! At work he recognized his colleagues all the way down the hall. In restaurants he no longer mistook every pear-shaped woman for Debra. With his new prescription, he could read street signs. Walking through Old City he could discern individual red bricks. At Lily’s orchestra concert, he could pick her out playing her half-size cello, way up on the risers. There was a downside to such clarity. He noticed thick dust covering his shelves, a faint water stain on his kitchen ceiling. Outside he saw rotting leaves shellacked to sidewalks. Peeling paint. Wires wrapping tree branches, not just twinkling lights.
Thanks to the publisher for providing a copy via NetGalley; all opinions are my own.
epub. 336 pgs. 10 February 2026.
However, I did enjoy much of Goodman’s language. Here are a few examples:
Wendy said that she had always loved women but had been closeted—a word Helen found strangely offensive. She had great closets. She’d organized them long before closet organizing became a sport and a profession. The thought of her own daughter closeted seemed an insult not only to Helen’s intelligence, but to her housekeeping.
“Helen never listens to me,” Sylvia declared in front of the entire family assembled at Jeanne’s bedside. “I’m invisible to her.”
Amazed at this mixed metaphor, Helen said, “Obviously I see you.”
At the end of the week, Richard picked up his new glasses. Nora was there, and all the displays, just as he had left them, but he came alone. The errand was ordinary, gray—until he left the store with his new lenses. Then the world changed. The train, the streets, the smallest details were precise. Revelation. Upgrade! At work he recognized his colleagues all the way down the hall. In restaurants he no longer mistook every pear-shaped woman for Debra. With his new prescription, he could read street signs. Walking through Old City he could discern individual red bricks. At Lily’s orchestra concert, he could pick her out playing her half-size cello, way up on the risers. There was a downside to such clarity. He noticed thick dust covering his shelves, a faint water stain on his kitchen ceiling. Outside he saw rotting leaves shellacked to sidewalks. Peeling paint. Wires wrapping tree branches, not just twinkling lights.
Thanks to the publisher for providing a copy via NetGalley; all opinions are my own.
epub. 336 pgs. 10 February 2026.
January 30, 2026
I didn’t think a central character in this story would actually be an apple cake, but here we are. To be honest though, the food descriptions in this book made me so hungry, said apple cake especially!
This book reads like a series of interconnected short stories, following one family and their extended family. I was not expecting that, but it ended up being my favorite thing about this book. (Side bar: definitely bookmark the family tree at the beginning, that’s going to be super helpful when getting to know everyone!)We start with the family as a whole and then branch out to individual members and their personal struggles and connections within this family. While this group of people is flawed, yes, I think that is what also makes them extremely lovable and relatable. I really found myself connecting and rooting for this family! So much so that when I reached the end, I kept scrolling for more!
One thing I wanted was a bit more resolution. I felt like many things were left unanswered, but at the same time, isn’t that life in general? My favorite “short story” in this book for sure was Sheba! That could be because there were no lingering questions from this story, beyond how these characters ended up playing into the family!
Overall, this book was well detailed and very realistically told. I loved the family and found family connections. This book does not hesitate to show the bad too, but how family can also help build each other back up. It’s a strong family saga and I found myself throughly enjoying reading it. This story is published on February 10th!
Another side note, I wish I had that apple cake recipe!
***Thank you so much to NetGalley and Random House Publishing Group for an eARC in exchange for an honest review!
This book reads like a series of interconnected short stories, following one family and their extended family. I was not expecting that, but it ended up being my favorite thing about this book. (Side bar: definitely bookmark the family tree at the beginning, that’s going to be super helpful when getting to know everyone!)We start with the family as a whole and then branch out to individual members and their personal struggles and connections within this family. While this group of people is flawed, yes, I think that is what also makes them extremely lovable and relatable. I really found myself connecting and rooting for this family! So much so that when I reached the end, I kept scrolling for more!
One thing I wanted was a bit more resolution. I felt like many things were left unanswered, but at the same time, isn’t that life in general? My favorite “short story” in this book for sure was Sheba! That could be because there were no lingering questions from this story, beyond how these characters ended up playing into the family!
Overall, this book was well detailed and very realistically told. I loved the family and found family connections. This book does not hesitate to show the bad too, but how family can also help build each other back up. It’s a strong family saga and I found myself throughly enjoying reading it. This story is published on February 10th!
Another side note, I wish I had that apple cake recipe!
***Thank you so much to NetGalley and Random House Publishing Group for an eARC in exchange for an honest review!
February 10, 2026
4 / 5 stars -
"This is Not About Us" pleasantly surprised me in more ways than one! When it comes to multi-generational family plots, I am a little hesitant because it can often feel formulaic or you may only be a fan of one perspective but not the other. I loved how each perspective weaved into another seamlessly, I couldn't stop reading the book. Now off to the synopsis...
We start with Jeanne, a beloved sister of the Rubinstein family, who passes away. During this difficult time, Sylvia and Helen have a disagreement (misunderstanding) over an apple cake which spirals into a decade(s)-long grudge between the two.
Dealing with the aftermath of the "apple cake incident", we get to visit the other family members' lives and how it all intertwines with another. My favorite perspective was Lily - I had a soft spot for her and how innocent her life seemed compared to her chaotic family. I like how simple yet effective the storytelling is.
The beginning of the novel was a little shaky but the second we shifted to the other family member's perspectives, I couldn't put the book down! The way the book is written is to introduce us to the children/grandchildren to build up for how Sylvia and Helen could potentially reconcile at the end. Very clever!
Thank you to NetGalley, Random House Publisher and the author, Allegra Goodman for the advanced copy!
"This is Not About Us" pleasantly surprised me in more ways than one! When it comes to multi-generational family plots, I am a little hesitant because it can often feel formulaic or you may only be a fan of one perspective but not the other. I loved how each perspective weaved into another seamlessly, I couldn't stop reading the book. Now off to the synopsis...
We start with Jeanne, a beloved sister of the Rubinstein family, who passes away. During this difficult time, Sylvia and Helen have a disagreement (misunderstanding) over an apple cake which spirals into a decade(s)-long grudge between the two.
Dealing with the aftermath of the "apple cake incident", we get to visit the other family members' lives and how it all intertwines with another. My favorite perspective was Lily - I had a soft spot for her and how innocent her life seemed compared to her chaotic family. I like how simple yet effective the storytelling is.
The beginning of the novel was a little shaky but the second we shifted to the other family member's perspectives, I couldn't put the book down! The way the book is written is to introduce us to the children/grandchildren to build up for how Sylvia and Helen could potentially reconcile at the end. Very clever!
Thank you to NetGalley, Random House Publisher and the author, Allegra Goodman for the advanced copy!
February 10, 2026
I love family dramas but this one didn’t do it for me. I learned a lot about Jewish traditions and culture which was neat but there were too many characters, and too much flipping back and forth to the family tree for me to really get all the dynamics without working for it, and I didn’t really feel like working for it.
Told in disjointed perspectives as we jump around the family over a few years, it felt jarring. I’d just figure out whose perspective we’re in before being transplanted to a new family. There were points of interest but just when I’d start to care, I’d be ripped into a new person and find out what happened in an offhand way that made me care less overall. I get it, no one cares about your own stuff like you do but when I read I want to care.
I’ll still try another by this author as Isola was soooooo good - that’s the book you should be picking up if you haven’t already!
Told in disjointed perspectives as we jump around the family over a few years, it felt jarring. I’d just figure out whose perspective we’re in before being transplanted to a new family. There were points of interest but just when I’d start to care, I’d be ripped into a new person and find out what happened in an offhand way that made me care less overall. I get it, no one cares about your own stuff like you do but when I read I want to care.
I’ll still try another by this author as Isola was soooooo good - that’s the book you should be picking up if you haven’t already!
December 7, 2025
3.75 ⭐️
Some stories quietly sneak up on you, and this was one of them. This was my first book by Allegra Goodman, and I really enjoyed it. It’s a heartfelt story about family, growing up, and growing old—told with warmth and insight. This timeless story follows two sisters whose small misunderstanding over an apple cake turns into years of silence, affecting their whole family. It’s a warm, witty story about family, forgiveness, and how tiny conflicts can leave lasting marks.
Goodman’s writing feels warm, insightful, and easy to connect with. She captures family dynamics with quiet humor and emotion, making her characters feel real and relatable.
In the end, I’d recommend This Is Not About Us to readers who enjoy quiet, character-driven stories about family, forgiveness, and the passage of time. It’s the kind of book that sneaks up on you and leaves you thinking about the people you love.
Thank you to Net Galley and Random House for this advance copy in exchange for my honest review.
Some stories quietly sneak up on you, and this was one of them. This was my first book by Allegra Goodman, and I really enjoyed it. It’s a heartfelt story about family, growing up, and growing old—told with warmth and insight. This timeless story follows two sisters whose small misunderstanding over an apple cake turns into years of silence, affecting their whole family. It’s a warm, witty story about family, forgiveness, and how tiny conflicts can leave lasting marks.
Goodman’s writing feels warm, insightful, and easy to connect with. She captures family dynamics with quiet humor and emotion, making her characters feel real and relatable.
In the end, I’d recommend This Is Not About Us to readers who enjoy quiet, character-driven stories about family, forgiveness, and the passage of time. It’s the kind of book that sneaks up on you and leaves you thinking about the people you love.
Thank you to Net Galley and Random House for this advance copy in exchange for my honest review.
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