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The Place Between Our Pains: A Memoir of What Joy Can Survive
A poetic, darkly funny memoir of one woman’s trip across the national parks straight into life-threatening illness and the joy that still holds us, no matter how much life hurts.
After over a decade of fighting chronic illness, trauma therapist and beloved author K.J. Ramsey was the healthiest she’d been in her life. She packed up her Jeep and set out on a summer of road trips, returning to the places where she first glimpsed joy as a kid. More than adventure, her aim was a personal dare to discover that joy is more trustworthy than trauma.
The plan was simple but Drive. Write. Heal. What could go wrong?
It turns out, everything.
The woman who just wandered through Redwood forests and ran naked into the Pacific suddenly found herself in the hospital fighting to stay alive. A mysterious illness struck like lightning, splintering the best days of her life into the absolute scariest. Ramsey went from being afraid of dying to afraid of living the life she was left with—losing both her mobility and the language of her faith, medically gaslit, with no map out of her misery. Was joy actually a trick? Or was joy still possible—even in inescapable pain?
Told with unhinged humor, lyrical honesty, and zero patience for toxic positivity, The Place Between Our Pains is a true story that reaches past our expectations of what joy can survive. From banana slugs to bedpans, mushrooms to the Mayo Clinic, hospitals to holy rage, Ramsey invites us into the unlikely places where joy lives. Through a full year of recovery, she encounters love that doesn’t leave—even when life doesn’t get easier. This is a love letter to every life seared by pain or autoimmune disease and a fierce permission slip to show up in the stories we never would have written for ourselves.
After over a decade of fighting chronic illness, trauma therapist and beloved author K.J. Ramsey was the healthiest she’d been in her life. She packed up her Jeep and set out on a summer of road trips, returning to the places where she first glimpsed joy as a kid. More than adventure, her aim was a personal dare to discover that joy is more trustworthy than trauma.
The plan was simple but Drive. Write. Heal. What could go wrong?
It turns out, everything.
The woman who just wandered through Redwood forests and ran naked into the Pacific suddenly found herself in the hospital fighting to stay alive. A mysterious illness struck like lightning, splintering the best days of her life into the absolute scariest. Ramsey went from being afraid of dying to afraid of living the life she was left with—losing both her mobility and the language of her faith, medically gaslit, with no map out of her misery. Was joy actually a trick? Or was joy still possible—even in inescapable pain?
Told with unhinged humor, lyrical honesty, and zero patience for toxic positivity, The Place Between Our Pains is a true story that reaches past our expectations of what joy can survive. From banana slugs to bedpans, mushrooms to the Mayo Clinic, hospitals to holy rage, Ramsey invites us into the unlikely places where joy lives. Through a full year of recovery, she encounters love that doesn’t leave—even when life doesn’t get easier. This is a love letter to every life seared by pain or autoimmune disease and a fierce permission slip to show up in the stories we never would have written for ourselves.
320 pages, Hardcover
Published May 19, 2026
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 94 reviews
October 30, 2025
** ARC Review **
A must-read for anyone who has ever known pain—which is to say, everyone.
K.J. Ramsey has written a book that feels less like a memoir and more like a lifeline. In a world full of toxic positivity, her raw, honest, and often darkly funny account of enduring a life-threatening illness is a stunningly refreshing breath of air. This book doesn't offer pat answers or empty reassurances. Instead, it offers something far more valuable: a companion for the long road of suffering and a fierce permission slip to be fully human, messiness and all.
Ramsey’s lyrical prose invites you into her most vulnerable moments, from the highs of a cross-country road trip to the crushing lows of hospital beds and medical gaslighting. She tackles the difficult questions about faith, healing, and whether joy can truly survive the deepest trauma. The honesty with which she approaches these topics is both courageous and deeply comforting.
This is a book that validates, uplifts, and shows you that even in the most painful spaces, joy and love can be found. It’s a testament to the power of embodied experience and a powerful rebuke of any ideology that insists on a tidy resolution to suffering. For anyone who has felt lost, misunderstood, or abandoned in their pain, The Place Between Our Pains is a profound and essential read.
A must-read for anyone who has ever known pain—which is to say, everyone.
K.J. Ramsey has written a book that feels less like a memoir and more like a lifeline. In a world full of toxic positivity, her raw, honest, and often darkly funny account of enduring a life-threatening illness is a stunningly refreshing breath of air. This book doesn't offer pat answers or empty reassurances. Instead, it offers something far more valuable: a companion for the long road of suffering and a fierce permission slip to be fully human, messiness and all.
Ramsey’s lyrical prose invites you into her most vulnerable moments, from the highs of a cross-country road trip to the crushing lows of hospital beds and medical gaslighting. She tackles the difficult questions about faith, healing, and whether joy can truly survive the deepest trauma. The honesty with which she approaches these topics is both courageous and deeply comforting.
This is a book that validates, uplifts, and shows you that even in the most painful spaces, joy and love can be found. It’s a testament to the power of embodied experience and a powerful rebuke of any ideology that insists on a tidy resolution to suffering. For anyone who has felt lost, misunderstood, or abandoned in their pain, The Place Between Our Pains is a profound and essential read.
January 15, 2026
It is funny to write a review of a book that really made me Feel things, because it seems like none of my words will be good enough. But let me get the most mundane thing out of the way first: the American healthcare system is a fucking disgrace. Phew. Glad that’s off my chest.
If you follow K.J. Ramsey on the internet, you know what is coming in the second section of the book, which is actually what took me so long to read it. I had to put it down and mentally be in a place where I could handle the pain that was coming. Ramsey’s ability to connect makes you ache for what is about to happen.
What most moved me about her memoir is the fierce hold onto joy and silliness and community. Yes there is pain. To be human is to have pain. Sometimes mundane pain and sometimes catastrophic pain. Psychic pain, physical pain, moral injury pain. At one point while reading, I thought of The Princess Bride: Life is pain, highness. Any one who says differently is selling something. (And if that’s not a metaphor for the evangelical church, I don’t know what is)
Anyway. I’ve never read something that so accurately describes how I experience prayer. My desire after reading is to push into the limits of my own aliveness even with the limits my body places on me.
If you follow K.J. Ramsey on the internet, you know what is coming in the second section of the book, which is actually what took me so long to read it. I had to put it down and mentally be in a place where I could handle the pain that was coming. Ramsey’s ability to connect makes you ache for what is about to happen.
What most moved me about her memoir is the fierce hold onto joy and silliness and community. Yes there is pain. To be human is to have pain. Sometimes mundane pain and sometimes catastrophic pain. Psychic pain, physical pain, moral injury pain. At one point while reading, I thought of The Princess Bride: Life is pain, highness. Any one who says differently is selling something. (And if that’s not a metaphor for the evangelical church, I don’t know what is)
Anyway. I’ve never read something that so accurately describes how I experience prayer. My desire after reading is to push into the limits of my own aliveness even with the limits my body places on me.
February 12, 2026
What a gift for KJ to share the story of hope and enduring joy even in her darkest of days. I’m so grateful for the way she models embracing the lives we’re given and fighting to show up each day.
I remember following along as the story of this book was unfolding in real time and how much of a gift KJ and her words were to me during a season of seeking answers to what was going on with my body, waiting on test results, scheduling appointments, getting referred around, and lots of waiting (mostly impatiently). KJ is a doula for our pain, and she knows how to advocate and encourage because she has walked through her own valley of the shadow of death. May we always remember that hope is a team sport and that beauty shared is beauty multiplied.
I remember following along as the story of this book was unfolding in real time and how much of a gift KJ and her words were to me during a season of seeking answers to what was going on with my body, waiting on test results, scheduling appointments, getting referred around, and lots of waiting (mostly impatiently). KJ is a doula for our pain, and she knows how to advocate and encourage because she has walked through her own valley of the shadow of death. May we always remember that hope is a team sport and that beauty shared is beauty multiplied.
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January 30, 2026Thank you NetGalley and Convergent for accepting me as arc reader💗🫧
I’m so sorry but this book isn’t for me. The author’s writing is beautiful, but I couldn’t immerse myself into the story at all. I can feel the author is strong, and I really admire her courage writing about her experiences.
I did not finish the book and only read 11.5% of it, so I won’t be giving my rating.
I’m so sorry but this book isn’t for me. The author’s writing is beautiful, but I couldn’t immerse myself into the story at all. I can feel the author is strong, and I really admire her courage writing about her experiences.
I did not finish the book and only read 11.5% of it, so I won’t be giving my rating.
May 29, 2026
“We cannot heal our way out of being human.”
I’ve followed KJ on instagram for a few years now, and so am familiar with the chronic illness journey she’s been on over the last few years. KJ’s memoir is a gift to all those that have dealt with chronic illness or health issues. She reminds us with such tenderness what it means to be human, and knows what it means to hold grief and pain alongside joy and hope. You will feel held by a safe space reading this book. KJ knows what it means to live through immense pain and sorrow, but tells her story with a lot of dark humor and grace. The stories of pain that we all experience deserve to be told, even as we are still living them.
“From the forest to my own fragility, I have been shown that love is like mycelium, the web beneath all we see, and joy is simply the sense that we are woven, never truly isolated but ever interdependent. Joy is not the opposite of sorrow nor the absence of grief, but the surprise, sensed over and over, that the truest fact about who we are is that we are connected. Joy is the feeling of finding that underneath your life, no matter how far you’ve fallen nor how much you hurt, the web of love still holds.”
Thank you to NetGalley and Convergent Books for the arc.
I’ve followed KJ on instagram for a few years now, and so am familiar with the chronic illness journey she’s been on over the last few years. KJ’s memoir is a gift to all those that have dealt with chronic illness or health issues. She reminds us with such tenderness what it means to be human, and knows what it means to hold grief and pain alongside joy and hope. You will feel held by a safe space reading this book. KJ knows what it means to live through immense pain and sorrow, but tells her story with a lot of dark humor and grace. The stories of pain that we all experience deserve to be told, even as we are still living them.
“From the forest to my own fragility, I have been shown that love is like mycelium, the web beneath all we see, and joy is simply the sense that we are woven, never truly isolated but ever interdependent. Joy is not the opposite of sorrow nor the absence of grief, but the surprise, sensed over and over, that the truest fact about who we are is that we are connected. Joy is the feeling of finding that underneath your life, no matter how far you’ve fallen nor how much you hurt, the web of love still holds.”
Thank you to NetGalley and Convergent Books for the arc.
June 7, 2026
KJ has a beautiful way with words, and this book is no exception. With raw honesty she shares what it is like to have one’s life take a scary, unexpected turn. She shares the grieving process and how she fought for joy amidst the pain and uncertainty and healthcare frustrations. It resonated with me at many points, and would provide good insight to those who have not also personally experienced chronic illness and/or health crisis.
I’m giving this book only three stars because I would have preferred a few less details on some of her clothing-optional swimming experiences (definitely TMI), and there is a unfortunately generous sprinkle of strong language throughout. And while I don’t want to rate books lower simply because I disagree with the author, I would be hesitant to recommend it due to the author’s slipping away from orthodox Christian beliefs and the way that comes out through her story.
I’m giving this book only three stars because I would have preferred a few less details on some of her clothing-optional swimming experiences (definitely TMI), and there is a unfortunately generous sprinkle of strong language throughout. And while I don’t want to rate books lower simply because I disagree with the author, I would be hesitant to recommend it due to the author’s slipping away from orthodox Christian beliefs and the way that comes out through her story.
May 15, 2026
This book is a gift to anyone who has experienced suffering. KJ tells the truth about the hard parts of life from the midst of the pain, refusing to hide behind platitudes, and yet she highlights the joy and the hope that are available even from the darkest places. KJ has cultivated a true gift for finding beauty, and her words are true art. From the sweeping vistas of the national parks to the confinement of a hospital bed, the words of this book point the reader towards the sun, towards hope, and towards celebrating survival of the hardest days.
May 16, 2026
KJ has a story the world needs. Each of her books, but especially this one, are raw and real. She says the hard stuff out loud and lets you sit with it. In this book, KJ tells you the harrowing journey of her health crisis over a single year as if you’re sitting together in cozy chairs, in the car on a mountain drive, or maybe even in a hospital bed. As she shares her pain, her grief, her joy, she makes room for yours too. You won’t find platitudes or manufactured positivity as a response to pain, but you will be encouraged by KJ’s true joy that can only come from one place.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
May 19, 2026
This is a story of joy and endurance, wonder and grief. It is deeply human and deeply honest. It is absurdly hilarious; it is breathtakingly tender. It is a testament to the body as sacred, a substrate—original matter. It will make you smile; it might make you weep. Every word is illuminated by love—love of body, of place, of memory, of community.
January 9, 2026
Gosh, this story 🤯
This book felt like a privilege to read. It came to me at the right time, in the middle of a medical crisis in my family. While reading about someone’s traumatic illness while things are hard in your own life doesn’t sound ideal, it was actually very reassuring - someone is telling the truth about just how awful things can be.
The author starts the book on a high, touring national parks with a friend, pointing to the beauty of nature and friendship. But a catastrophic allergic reaction to a medical procedure kicks off a horrific journey of sickness and at times appalling, at other (fewer) times compassionate medical treatment.
It really blows your mind what some people have to walk through, this journey felt deeply unfair in a lot of ways. I appreciate the level of honesty and think it will help a lot of people feel seen.
Thank you so much to NetGalley and the publisher for the digital arc.
This book felt like a privilege to read. It came to me at the right time, in the middle of a medical crisis in my family. While reading about someone’s traumatic illness while things are hard in your own life doesn’t sound ideal, it was actually very reassuring - someone is telling the truth about just how awful things can be.
The author starts the book on a high, touring national parks with a friend, pointing to the beauty of nature and friendship. But a catastrophic allergic reaction to a medical procedure kicks off a horrific journey of sickness and at times appalling, at other (fewer) times compassionate medical treatment.
It really blows your mind what some people have to walk through, this journey felt deeply unfair in a lot of ways. I appreciate the level of honesty and think it will help a lot of people feel seen.
Thank you so much to NetGalley and the publisher for the digital arc.
July 6, 2026
"Sometimes I wonder how much of the pain of chronic illness is my child self crying out for a witness."
Chronic illness is not one of comparison; but you've likely never read a story like K.J.'s.
"I've feared being left behind, but lament can locate us — letting others find us with care in the midst of loss."
What bravery. Simply to be alive. To decide that life is worth fighting for. To weather and sustain and grow and heal and be able to tell others about it. With humour and weirdness to boot.
"If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, qhat you do not bring forth will destroy you." (saying from the gospel of Thomas). Stories are shovels - they can dig a grave or plant a garden." >>> This will stay with me for a long time.
I find memoirs can verge on using too many quotes, but this one chose amazing ones at least, such as the eternal Gibson:
"Even when the truth isn't hopeful, the telling of it is." (Andrea Gibson)...Tell yourself your own story. The telling strips the trauma of power to hold you back from your own joy."
Go, go out and live.
Audiobook: 9h 16m
Chronic illness is not one of comparison; but you've likely never read a story like K.J.'s.
"I've feared being left behind, but lament can locate us — letting others find us with care in the midst of loss."
What bravery. Simply to be alive. To decide that life is worth fighting for. To weather and sustain and grow and heal and be able to tell others about it. With humour and weirdness to boot.
"If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, qhat you do not bring forth will destroy you." (saying from the gospel of Thomas). Stories are shovels - they can dig a grave or plant a garden." >>> This will stay with me for a long time.
I find memoirs can verge on using too many quotes, but this one chose amazing ones at least, such as the eternal Gibson:
"Even when the truth isn't hopeful, the telling of it is." (Andrea Gibson)...Tell yourself your own story. The telling strips the trauma of power to hold you back from your own joy."
Go, go out and live.
Audiobook: 9h 16m
May 23, 2026
I shed more than a few tears while reading this. As someone also facing health uncertainty, chronic illness, and medical trauma, it's comforting to share that pain with someone else (even if I don't know the author). I feel a little less alone in this time of waiting.
June 13, 2026
What a beautiful book. I believe that this should be required reading for anyone going into healthcare. Her essays are honest, beautiful, full of lament and joy in each one.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
KJ has a way with words. There really isn't any more to be said.
As a medical provider, her perspective and POV as a patient is something to remember. I never want a patient to feel dismissed, calling me Dr. Dick! I was disappointed by those who didn't bother to help. And inspired by those who kept advocating and searching for answers.
Would like an update on the medical condition..somehow.
As a medical provider, her perspective and POV as a patient is something to remember. I never want a patient to feel dismissed, calling me Dr. Dick! I was disappointed by those who didn't bother to help. And inspired by those who kept advocating and searching for answers.
Would like an update on the medical condition..somehow.
January 26, 2026
Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for this ARC.
What a beautifully written memoir. The descriptions of the author’s visits to National Parks was poetic and descriptive, but reading her difficult journey through her health issues was heartbreaking. What a strong determined woman she is. It vividly describes the problems with the health system and issues with insurance headaches. Hearing about her health struggles makes my minor health problems bearable.
If you do not want to follow along with her during her autoimmune disorder journey I would not suggest reading this book. But if you want to to find strength in a poetic, heartfelt, openly honest memoir of a woman’s life then I would recommend.
What a beautifully written memoir. The descriptions of the author’s visits to National Parks was poetic and descriptive, but reading her difficult journey through her health issues was heartbreaking. What a strong determined woman she is. It vividly describes the problems with the health system and issues with insurance headaches. Hearing about her health struggles makes my minor health problems bearable.
If you do not want to follow along with her during her autoimmune disorder journey I would not suggest reading this book. But if you want to to find strength in a poetic, heartfelt, openly honest memoir of a woman’s life then I would recommend.
January 25, 2026
KJ- my sweet, sweet, SWEET friend you have done it again. This memoir I’m sure was not only helpful and pivotal to you in remembering to find hope amidst the arduous health battle you went through, but that it’s okay and takes a community to experience it alongside you. I’ve had to stop and pause during a lot of parts because I am chronically ill and disabled myself, and relate a lot to your stories, especially the horrific hospital admissions and ER ones.
I’m so glad you didn’t let those dismissals or insurance rejections for your IV treatments and medications harden you, because wow! What a well-written and beautiful memoir this is. I highlighted something or some quote on every page because it was all too relatable to me who lives in a sick and pain riddled body.
It is remarkable how you survived the anaphalaxis attacks, the denials, the Lupus, and the literal necrosis of your bones- especially in your knees and hips.
I am so sorry for all you’ve endured- but like you’ve repeated on many occasions within your memoir- you wouldn’t change it for the world because it’s made you who you are today and definitely a person who can find joy amidst the pain and in all of the spaces in between.
Lastly- I enjoyed learning about your adventures with your husband and friends at National Parks. I have never been to even one but feel like I’ve learned a lot of history through you and from you. I am so glad you didn’t let pain of your chronic illnesses stop you from living the life you want.
It’s important to not let our trauma harden us, but I always say… hey, it made me more funny and maybe a little cynical.
Reading your ARC of this book was an absolute privilege. Thank you, thank you, thank YOU.
I’m so glad you didn’t let those dismissals or insurance rejections for your IV treatments and medications harden you, because wow! What a well-written and beautiful memoir this is. I highlighted something or some quote on every page because it was all too relatable to me who lives in a sick and pain riddled body.
It is remarkable how you survived the anaphalaxis attacks, the denials, the Lupus, and the literal necrosis of your bones- especially in your knees and hips.
I am so sorry for all you’ve endured- but like you’ve repeated on many occasions within your memoir- you wouldn’t change it for the world because it’s made you who you are today and definitely a person who can find joy amidst the pain and in all of the spaces in between.
Lastly- I enjoyed learning about your adventures with your husband and friends at National Parks. I have never been to even one but feel like I’ve learned a lot of history through you and from you. I am so glad you didn’t let pain of your chronic illnesses stop you from living the life you want.
It’s important to not let our trauma harden us, but I always say… hey, it made me more funny and maybe a little cynical.
Reading your ARC of this book was an absolute privilege. Thank you, thank you, thank YOU.
July 6, 2026
Reviewing memoirs is weird. But here we go.
I really enjoyed this book. It challenged me, made me laugh, cry, made me want to travel out west, or heck just see beauty that is around me in Birmingham, and gave words to some shifts I've seen in my own spirituality. It's a brutal story that bears witness to the broken American healthcare system, as well as the difficult experience of living with chronic illness. It is also a beautiful story of hope and joy and love in the midst of extremely crappy circumstances. I laughed many times and cried many times. Not sure what else you could want in a book of this sort.
This book helped me put language to some ways I want to better support my patients and families as a hospice chaplain. It also inspired me to help those in my life who go through health crises, or any crises for that matter.
I also love that I noticed that one of the people KJ mentions is someone I know! So naturally I reached out to her friend that I know, and to KJ herself! She responded and even gave me writing advice. (I asked, to be clear) Wild. Still shook about that.
Spectacular book. Not everyone will resonate of course, but I do think anyone and everyone should read it.
"We do not merely heal from trauma to prevent future pain; we heal so that we can be present in the midst of any pain that comes." (112)
I really enjoyed this book. It challenged me, made me laugh, cry, made me want to travel out west, or heck just see beauty that is around me in Birmingham, and gave words to some shifts I've seen in my own spirituality. It's a brutal story that bears witness to the broken American healthcare system, as well as the difficult experience of living with chronic illness. It is also a beautiful story of hope and joy and love in the midst of extremely crappy circumstances. I laughed many times and cried many times. Not sure what else you could want in a book of this sort.
This book helped me put language to some ways I want to better support my patients and families as a hospice chaplain. It also inspired me to help those in my life who go through health crises, or any crises for that matter.
I also love that I noticed that one of the people KJ mentions is someone I know! So naturally I reached out to her friend that I know, and to KJ herself! She responded and even gave me writing advice. (I asked, to be clear) Wild. Still shook about that.
Spectacular book. Not everyone will resonate of course, but I do think anyone and everyone should read it.
"We do not merely heal from trauma to prevent future pain; we heal so that we can be present in the midst of any pain that comes." (112)
June 25, 2026
summer reading challenge: a memoir
“when I say “I’m praying for you,” what I mean is I’m imagining you standing in the light of a setting sun, smile stretched across your face. I’m visualizing love like a mycelial web, threaded beneath you in joy and in sorrow, pulsing electric with kindness and strength you couldn’t create. I’m gathering up the grace that has carried me through my hardest griefs and letting it travel from my lungs to my lips, breath deep and slow, bridging the miles between us. I’m picturing the pain in my body and soul like a storm, lightning splintering energy across a giant sky, and hoping you, too, will face your squalls with feral awe. I’m naming the reality of evil and naming you as good. I’m saying your name aloud multiple times a day — with a huge smile, and sometimes with tears. I’m stopping to smell the lilacs, pressing my face into their soft mounded petals, willing you to pause. I’m chopping green onions and popping in a bite, blessing what is sharp as the bringer of flavor, trusting you will taste it. Now, when I say “I’m praying for you,” what I mean is, I’m holding you as beloved in the hidden imagination of my heart.”
“when I say “I’m praying for you,” what I mean is I’m imagining you standing in the light of a setting sun, smile stretched across your face. I’m visualizing love like a mycelial web, threaded beneath you in joy and in sorrow, pulsing electric with kindness and strength you couldn’t create. I’m gathering up the grace that has carried me through my hardest griefs and letting it travel from my lungs to my lips, breath deep and slow, bridging the miles between us. I’m picturing the pain in my body and soul like a storm, lightning splintering energy across a giant sky, and hoping you, too, will face your squalls with feral awe. I’m naming the reality of evil and naming you as good. I’m saying your name aloud multiple times a day — with a huge smile, and sometimes with tears. I’m stopping to smell the lilacs, pressing my face into their soft mounded petals, willing you to pause. I’m chopping green onions and popping in a bite, blessing what is sharp as the bringer of flavor, trusting you will taste it. Now, when I say “I’m praying for you,” what I mean is, I’m holding you as beloved in the hidden imagination of my heart.”
June 30, 2026
"The trail between health and illness is thin, and the only way home is through" (pg269)
As someone who also struggles with lupus and past traumas, KJ's words are always a welcome breath of fresh air. Her poetic prose holds space for the beauty that shows up in the midst of suffering while not at all diminishing the fact that suffering sucks. When I read her books, including this one, I feel like she is a big sister guiding me back to what is true.
I have long pondered a good definition of "joy" as it has oft felt elusive in my own health care journey but KJ finally provided me with one that I think can stick: "Joy is not the opposite of sorrow nor the absence of grief, but the surprise sensed over and over, that the truest fact about who we are is that we are connected. Joy is the feeling of finding that underneath your life, no matter how far you've fallen or how much you hurt, the Web of Love still holds." (Pg 289)
As someone who also struggles with lupus and past traumas, KJ's words are always a welcome breath of fresh air. Her poetic prose holds space for the beauty that shows up in the midst of suffering while not at all diminishing the fact that suffering sucks. When I read her books, including this one, I feel like she is a big sister guiding me back to what is true.
I have long pondered a good definition of "joy" as it has oft felt elusive in my own health care journey but KJ finally provided me with one that I think can stick: "Joy is not the opposite of sorrow nor the absence of grief, but the surprise sensed over and over, that the truest fact about who we are is that we are connected. Joy is the feeling of finding that underneath your life, no matter how far you've fallen or how much you hurt, the Web of Love still holds." (Pg 289)
March 6, 2026
This book inspired me so much. It showed me that even if I am going through a hard time, it it’s important to not give up because there is so much life out there to discover. I may not be going through the same thing as the author but it still showed me that it is okay to feel weak at times. When you feel like that, that is when you have to try your hardest to prove to yourself that you will not give up. And in the long run it will be worth it and you will feel so proud of yourself and your strength to keep fighting. This book opened my eyes to so much and I’m really got I got the chance for read it.
June 5, 2026
In the last two weeks, driving back and forth between the hospital, having multiple surgeries and spending my time at home on mandatory bedrest, I read this book. Ramsey’s words held me up through most of it, encouraging me to have hope and find joy when all I wanted to do was crumble. I am so very grateful for this book. I loved the connections she makes between the natural world, the cycles of life and death, and the human body—both the physical and spiritual sides. What a gift she has given to the chronic illness and pain communities. *Advance copy provided by the publisher in exchange for my honest review.
July 5, 2026
Simply breathtaking. The narrative of the soul and the body are deftly woven together, showing the journey they took together through beauty and pain. This is a chronic illness memoir that won’t dismiss or patronize you. It speaks exactly to KJ’s experience, which includes never shying away from the hope she found in unexpected places. I want everyone I know who has dealt with chronic illness and medical trauma to read this.
May 26, 2026
Part 1 wasn’t for me but I LOVED parts 2-5. Her beautifully written story of finding joy amidst grief and loss and in between spoke to my soul. I am passing my copy to a friend but imagine I’ll borrow the audiobook from the library to listen again.
June 15, 2026
“Joy is the feeling of finding that underneath your life, no matter how far you’ve fallen nor how much you hurt, the web of love still holds.” WOOF. I will read everything KJ writes forever. Her story and her words are a gift and a buoy for the soul.
Review of advance copy received from Edelweiss+
*I read an advance copy and was not compensated
May 19, 2026
DANG. What a memoir. Pain and suffering and the joy that rises from them. Sometimes the most beautiful souls are the ones who grieve so deeply.
Read
June 8, 2026An excellently written memoir, I found myself sucked in as I’ve never been with another. So, so much pain and yet, somehow so much joy and beauty.
May 30, 2026
I laughed. I cried. I marveled at the words that K.J. so generously shared with us. ❤️ This book will be a balm to anyone who has suffered deep pain in this life.
June 3, 2026
An utterly incredible memoir. KJ's book is a story of hope, a story of leaning into life and remembering that joy will find us. Must read.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
What happens when the summer of your dreams —a healing Jeep road trip across the country’s stunning National Parks—instantly collides with a terrifying, life-threatening medical emergency?
Intro
In The Place Between Our Pains A Memoir of What Joy Can Survive, celebrated trauma therapist and counselor K.J. Ramsey returns with a breathtakingly vulnerable, fiercely protective personal memoir. After a long decade navigating chronic illness, Ramsey felt she was finally in the healthiest season of her life. She packed up her Jeep to rediscover her inner child across America's wilderness. Instead, lightning-fast medical devastation struck, landing her in a hospital bed, fighting to live.
An unapologetically raw, defiantly humorous look at finding genuine connection when the life you expected turns into a nightmare.
DRIVE. WRITE. HEAL. WHAT COULD GO WRONG?
POETIC. DEFIANT. LUMINOUS. POWERFUL.
"An exquisitely raw, vulnerable masterpiece that completely redefines how we find joy in the dark."
My Thoughts
This book will break your heart open, but it will also give you the tools to put it back together with a deeper, more resilient kind of joy. Ramsey has written a survival guide for the weary, proving that even when our bodies or our beliefs break down, we are never fully broken.
This stunning memoir left me utterly transformed. Having previously delved into Ramsey's exquisite spiritual poetry, I was already aware of her remarkable talent for language, but the depth of vulnerability articulated in this work is nothing short of breathtaking. The pacing is masterfully crafted, evoking the jarring and disorienting experience of joyfully enjoying nature fully, only to find oneself abruptly waking up confined within an unyielding body.
It’s a rare treasure to encounter an author capable of eliciting tears of sorrow on one page and spontaneous laughter from a cleverly placed bedpan joke on the next. This is not just a memoir; it is an absolute masterpiece within its genre.
I particularly enjoyed Ramsey's quotes and mantras. "Hope is a team sport." The book challenges the reader (and patient) to stop trying to be hyper-independent and instead allow themselves to be loved and held by the community. Aren't we all guilty of this?
The Medical Gaslighting: If you have a chronic illness, as I do with multiple autoimmune diseases, you will relate to and appreciate her brutal honesty about the healthcare system. It validates anyone who has ever had their physical symptoms dismissed by professionals.
🏆 Verdict 5 / 5 Stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
The Bottom Line: "Unapologetically raw, defiantly humorous, insightful, and deeply lyrical. A must-read for 2026! My favorite memoir of the year."
Recs
~Perfect Pairing: Regular readers know how deeply I was undone by the monumental bestseller When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi. This memoir belongs on your immediate shelf. It shares that same stunning, medical-insider perspective mixed with a deeply profound, life-affirming look at human mortality.
~Read-Alikes: Also highly recommended for readers who treasure the deep, unflinching human exploration of authors like Cole Arthur Riley and Kate Bowler.
~The Author: Check out the books by the author in particular. This Too Shall Last: Finding Grace When Suffering Lingers.
🎧 Audio Standout
Narrated by K.J. Ramsey herself, I am looking forward to listening. I am sure it will be remarkably intimate, like hearing the actual catch in her voice during moments of medical frustration, and the defiant humor in her delivery will make the production an unforgettable audio experience.
Special thanks to Convergent Books and NetGalley for providing an advanced reading copy in exchange for my honest thoughts.
blog review posted @
JudithDCollins.com
@JudithDCollins | #JDCMustReadBooks
Host/Creator of #LitLiftMiniAuthorChats
#AuthorElevatorSeries | #AudioElevatorSeries
My Rating: 5 Stars +
Pub Date: May 19, 2026
May Newsletter
May 2026 Must-Read Books
"Top Books of 2026!"
Intro
In The Place Between Our Pains A Memoir of What Joy Can Survive, celebrated trauma therapist and counselor K.J. Ramsey returns with a breathtakingly vulnerable, fiercely protective personal memoir. After a long decade navigating chronic illness, Ramsey felt she was finally in the healthiest season of her life. She packed up her Jeep to rediscover her inner child across America's wilderness. Instead, lightning-fast medical devastation struck, landing her in a hospital bed, fighting to live.
An unapologetically raw, defiantly humorous look at finding genuine connection when the life you expected turns into a nightmare.
DRIVE. WRITE. HEAL. WHAT COULD GO WRONG?
Setting
The memoir beautifully shifts between the expansive, awe-inspiring tranquility of the Redwood forests and the Pacific coast, and the sterile, exhausting realities of hospital rooms and the Mayo Clinic.
Vibe
Lyrical, brutally honest, fiercely emotional, and deeply resilient. It strips away hollow platitudes and toxic positivity, replacing them with a dark, sharp wit and a beautiful, grounded wisdom.
Genre
Memoir / Medical Narrative / Spiritual & Psychological Non-Fiction
"Joy is not the absence of suffering; it is the presence of love.
Themes
~The Reality of Medical Gaslighting: Fighting for validation inside a complex healthcare system.
~Trauma vs. Trust: Unlearning the instinct of constantly fearing the worst.
~Holy Rage: Allowing room for anger, grief, and raw emotion in a healing journey.
~Unyielding Love: The power of community and partnerships that refuse to walk away.
Metaphor
The Metaphor of the National Parks: Ramsey brilliantly utilizes the enduring, scarred landscape of the American wilderness to mirror human suffering. Just like forests that require fire to regenerate, our bodies and souls possess an innate, quiet architecture designed to withstand immense structural trauma and still cultivate life.
👤 Standout Characters
~K.J. Ramsey: An increasingly feral, deeply thoughtful narrator who refuses to wrap her suffering in a neat bow.
~Ryan: Her steadfast husband—a hospice chaplain who models what it means to anchor someone through the dark.
~The "Spoonie" Community: The invisible network of chronic illness patients who understand the language of shared pain.
Author Writing Standout
Because Ramsey is a licensed professional counselor, her clinical understanding of trauma gives her prose a sharp, unique intellectual edge. Yet, her poetic voice and refusal to hide behind academic language make her feel like a close friend talking to you from a bedside chair.
"My body was not failing me; it was fighting for me."
Takeaway
Joy is not the absence of pain; it is the stubborn, untamed presence of life persisting right in the middle of it.
"Hope is a team sport."
Title Significance
"The Place Between Our Pains" captures the narrow, sacred threshold where we live when a medical crisis permanently alters our mobility and reality—the literal gap where human suffering meets unexpected, beautiful survival.
Why You Should Read
If you were deeply moved by When Breath Becomes Air or The Choice: Embrace the Possible, this memoir belongs on your immediate TBR! It provides fierce permission to show up authentically in a story you never would have willingly written for yourself. I loved it!
Tone
You will enjoy her "unhinged humor" and poetic prose. She beautifully balances the clinical grimness of hospital stays with the wild, mystical beauty of the Pacific coast and the Redwoods.
POETIC. DEFIANT. LUMINOUS. POWERFUL.
"An exquisitely raw, vulnerable masterpiece that completely redefines how we find joy in the dark."
My Thoughts
This book will break your heart open, but it will also give you the tools to put it back together with a deeper, more resilient kind of joy. Ramsey has written a survival guide for the weary, proving that even when our bodies or our beliefs break down, we are never fully broken.
This stunning memoir left me utterly transformed. Having previously delved into Ramsey's exquisite spiritual poetry, I was already aware of her remarkable talent for language, but the depth of vulnerability articulated in this work is nothing short of breathtaking. The pacing is masterfully crafted, evoking the jarring and disorienting experience of joyfully enjoying nature fully, only to find oneself abruptly waking up confined within an unyielding body.
It’s a rare treasure to encounter an author capable of eliciting tears of sorrow on one page and spontaneous laughter from a cleverly placed bedpan joke on the next. This is not just a memoir; it is an absolute masterpiece within its genre.
I particularly enjoyed Ramsey's quotes and mantras. "Hope is a team sport." The book challenges the reader (and patient) to stop trying to be hyper-independent and instead allow themselves to be loved and held by the community. Aren't we all guilty of this?
The Medical Gaslighting: If you have a chronic illness, as I do with multiple autoimmune diseases, you will relate to and appreciate her brutal honesty about the healthcare system. It validates anyone who has ever had their physical symptoms dismissed by professionals.
🏆 Verdict 5 / 5 Stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
The Bottom Line: "Unapologetically raw, defiantly humorous, insightful, and deeply lyrical. A must-read for 2026! My favorite memoir of the year."
~Faith/Spiritual
Final Verdict: 5/5 stars.A breathtakingly honest, mystical, and deeply comforting read for anyone who has been medically gaslit, spiritually wounded, or left wondering if God is still good in the dark. Ramsey is the companion we all need in the wilderness.
~Chronic Illness/Grief
Final Verdict: 5/5 stars. This book is a lifeline. Ramsey fiercely protects the reality of ongoing pain while aggressively defending our right to experience joy alongside it. A definitive must-read for anyone living with chronic illness or grief.
~Memoir/Prose/Lyrical/Literary
Final Verdict: 5/5 stars. Visceral, poetic, and fiercely funny. Ramsey writes with the precision of a therapist and the soul of a poet. It’s a stunning debut memoir that will stay with you long after the final page.
Recs
~Perfect Pairing: Regular readers know how deeply I was undone by the monumental bestseller When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi. This memoir belongs on your immediate shelf. It shares that same stunning, medical-insider perspective mixed with a deeply profound, life-affirming look at human mortality.
~Read-Alikes: Also highly recommended for readers who treasure the deep, unflinching human exploration of authors like Cole Arthur Riley and Kate Bowler.
~The Author: Check out the books by the author in particular. This Too Shall Last: Finding Grace When Suffering Lingers.
🎧 Audio Standout
Narrated by K.J. Ramsey herself, I am looking forward to listening. I am sure it will be remarkably intimate, like hearing the actual catch in her voice during moments of medical frustration, and the defiant humor in her delivery will make the production an unforgettable audio experience.
Special thanks to Convergent Books and NetGalley for providing an advanced reading copy in exchange for my honest thoughts.
blog review posted @
JudithDCollins.com
@JudithDCollins | #JDCMustReadBooks
Host/Creator of #LitLiftMiniAuthorChats
#AuthorElevatorSeries | #AudioElevatorSeries
My Rating: 5 Stars +
Pub Date: May 19, 2026
May Newsletter
May 2026 Must-Read Books
"Top Books of 2026!"
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