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The Place Between Our Pains: A Memoir of What Joy Can Survive
Not yet published
Expected 19 May 26A poetic, darkly funny memoir of one woman’s trip across the national parks straight into life-threatening illness and the joy that still holds us, no matter how much life hurts.
After over a decade of fighting chronic illness, trauma therapist and beloved author K.J. Ramsey was the healthiest she’d been in her life. She packed up her Jeep and set out on a summer of road trips, returning to the places where she first glimpsed joy as a kid. More than adventure, her aim was a personal dare to discover that joy is more trustworthy than trauma.
The plan was simple but Drive. Write. Heal. What could go wrong?
It turns out, everything.
The woman who just wandered through Redwood forests and ran naked into the Pacific suddenly found herself in the hospital fighting to stay alive. A mysterious illness struck like lightning, splintering the best days of her life into the absolute scariest. Ramsey went from being afraid of dying to afraid of living the life she was left with—losing both her mobility and the language of her faith, medically gaslit, with no map out of her misery. Was joy actually a trick? Or was joy still possible—even in inescapable pain?
Told with unhinged humor, lyrical honesty, and zero patience for toxic positivity, The Place Between Our Pains is a true story that reaches past our expectations of what joy can survive. From banana slugs to bedpans, mushrooms to the Mayo Clinic, hospitals to holy rage, Ramsey invites us into the unlikely places where joy lives. Through a full year of recovery, she encounters love that doesn’t leave—even when life doesn’t get easier. This is a love letter to every life seared by pain or autoimmune disease and a fierce permission slip to show up in the stories we never would have written for ourselves.
After over a decade of fighting chronic illness, trauma therapist and beloved author K.J. Ramsey was the healthiest she’d been in her life. She packed up her Jeep and set out on a summer of road trips, returning to the places where she first glimpsed joy as a kid. More than adventure, her aim was a personal dare to discover that joy is more trustworthy than trauma.
The plan was simple but Drive. Write. Heal. What could go wrong?
It turns out, everything.
The woman who just wandered through Redwood forests and ran naked into the Pacific suddenly found herself in the hospital fighting to stay alive. A mysterious illness struck like lightning, splintering the best days of her life into the absolute scariest. Ramsey went from being afraid of dying to afraid of living the life she was left with—losing both her mobility and the language of her faith, medically gaslit, with no map out of her misery. Was joy actually a trick? Or was joy still possible—even in inescapable pain?
Told with unhinged humor, lyrical honesty, and zero patience for toxic positivity, The Place Between Our Pains is a true story that reaches past our expectations of what joy can survive. From banana slugs to bedpans, mushrooms to the Mayo Clinic, hospitals to holy rage, Ramsey invites us into the unlikely places where joy lives. Through a full year of recovery, she encounters love that doesn’t leave—even when life doesn’t get easier. This is a love letter to every life seared by pain or autoimmune disease and a fierce permission slip to show up in the stories we never would have written for ourselves.
- GenresMemoirNonfiction
320 pages, Hardcover
Expected publication May 19, 2026
7 people are currently reading
5395 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews
October 30, 2025
** ARC Review **
A must-read for anyone who has ever known pain—which is to say, everyone.
K.J. Ramsey has written a book that feels less like a memoir and more like a lifeline. In a world full of toxic positivity, her raw, honest, and often darkly funny account of enduring a life-threatening illness is a stunningly refreshing breath of air. This book doesn't offer pat answers or empty reassurances. Instead, it offers something far more valuable: a companion for the long road of suffering and a fierce permission slip to be fully human, messiness and all.
Ramsey’s lyrical prose invites you into her most vulnerable moments, from the highs of a cross-country road trip to the crushing lows of hospital beds and medical gaslighting. She tackles the difficult questions about faith, healing, and whether joy can truly survive the deepest trauma. The honesty with which she approaches these topics is both courageous and deeply comforting.
This is a book that validates, uplifts, and shows you that even in the most painful spaces, joy and love can be found. It’s a testament to the power of embodied experience and a powerful rebuke of any ideology that insists on a tidy resolution to suffering. For anyone who has felt lost, misunderstood, or abandoned in their pain, The Place Between Our Pains is a profound and essential read.
A must-read for anyone who has ever known pain—which is to say, everyone.
K.J. Ramsey has written a book that feels less like a memoir and more like a lifeline. In a world full of toxic positivity, her raw, honest, and often darkly funny account of enduring a life-threatening illness is a stunningly refreshing breath of air. This book doesn't offer pat answers or empty reassurances. Instead, it offers something far more valuable: a companion for the long road of suffering and a fierce permission slip to be fully human, messiness and all.
Ramsey’s lyrical prose invites you into her most vulnerable moments, from the highs of a cross-country road trip to the crushing lows of hospital beds and medical gaslighting. She tackles the difficult questions about faith, healing, and whether joy can truly survive the deepest trauma. The honesty with which she approaches these topics is both courageous and deeply comforting.
This is a book that validates, uplifts, and shows you that even in the most painful spaces, joy and love can be found. It’s a testament to the power of embodied experience and a powerful rebuke of any ideology that insists on a tidy resolution to suffering. For anyone who has felt lost, misunderstood, or abandoned in their pain, The Place Between Our Pains is a profound and essential read.
January 15, 2026
It is funny to write a review of a book that really made me Feel things, because it seems like none of my words will be good enough. But let me get the most mundane thing out of the way first: the American healthcare system is a fucking disgrace. Phew. Glad that’s off my chest.
If you follow K.J. Ramsey on the internet, you know what is coming in the second section of the book, which is actually what took me so long to read it. I had to put it down and mentally be in a place where I could handle the pain that was coming. Ramsey’s ability to connect makes you ache for what is about to happen.
What most moved me about her memoir is the fierce hold onto joy and silliness and community. Yes there is pain. To be human is to have pain. Sometimes mundane pain and sometimes catastrophic pain. Psychic pain, physical pain, moral injury pain. At one point while reading, I thought of The Princess Bride: Life is pain, highness. Any one who says differently is selling something. (And if that’s not a metaphor for the evangelical church, I don’t know what is)
Anyway. I’ve never read something that so accurately describes how I experience prayer. My desire after reading is to push into the limits of my own aliveness even with the limits my body places on me.
If you follow K.J. Ramsey on the internet, you know what is coming in the second section of the book, which is actually what took me so long to read it. I had to put it down and mentally be in a place where I could handle the pain that was coming. Ramsey’s ability to connect makes you ache for what is about to happen.
What most moved me about her memoir is the fierce hold onto joy and silliness and community. Yes there is pain. To be human is to have pain. Sometimes mundane pain and sometimes catastrophic pain. Psychic pain, physical pain, moral injury pain. At one point while reading, I thought of The Princess Bride: Life is pain, highness. Any one who says differently is selling something. (And if that’s not a metaphor for the evangelical church, I don’t know what is)
Anyway. I’ve never read something that so accurately describes how I experience prayer. My desire after reading is to push into the limits of my own aliveness even with the limits my body places on me.
February 12, 2026
What a gift for KJ to share the story of hope and enduring joy even in her darkest of days. I’m so grateful for the way she models embracing the lives we’re given and fighting to show up each day.
I remember following along as the story of this book was unfolding in real time and how much of a gift KJ and her words were to me during a season of seeking answers to what was going on with my body, waiting on test results, scheduling appointments, getting referred around, and lots of waiting (mostly impatiently). KJ is a doula for our pain, and she knows how to advocate and encourage because she has walked through her own valley of the shadow of death. May we always remember that hope is a team sport and that beauty shared is beauty multiplied.
I remember following along as the story of this book was unfolding in real time and how much of a gift KJ and her words were to me during a season of seeking answers to what was going on with my body, waiting on test results, scheduling appointments, getting referred around, and lots of waiting (mostly impatiently). KJ is a doula for our pain, and she knows how to advocate and encourage because she has walked through her own valley of the shadow of death. May we always remember that hope is a team sport and that beauty shared is beauty multiplied.
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January 30, 2026Thank you NetGalley and Convergent for accepting me as arc reader💗🫧
I’m so sorry but this book isn’t for me. The author’s writing is beautiful, but I couldn’t immerse myself into the story at all. I can feel the author is strong, and I really admire her courage writing about her experiences.
I did not finish the book and only read 11.5% of it, so I won’t be giving my rating.
I’m so sorry but this book isn’t for me. The author’s writing is beautiful, but I couldn’t immerse myself into the story at all. I can feel the author is strong, and I really admire her courage writing about her experiences.
I did not finish the book and only read 11.5% of it, so I won’t be giving my rating.
January 9, 2026
Gosh, this story 🤯
This book felt like a privilege to read. It came to me at the right time, in the middle of a medical crisis in my family. While reading about someone’s traumatic illness while things are hard in your own life doesn’t sound ideal, it was actually very reassuring - someone is telling the truth about just how awful things can be.
The author starts the book on a high, touring national parks with a friend, pointing to the beauty of nature and friendship. But a catastrophic allergic reaction to a medical procedure kicks off a horrific journey of sickness and at times appalling, at other (fewer) times compassionate medical treatment.
It really blows your mind what some people have to walk through, this journey felt deeply unfair in a lot of ways. I appreciate the level of honesty and think it will help a lot of people feel seen.
Thank you so much to NetGalley and the publisher for the digital arc.
This book felt like a privilege to read. It came to me at the right time, in the middle of a medical crisis in my family. While reading about someone’s traumatic illness while things are hard in your own life doesn’t sound ideal, it was actually very reassuring - someone is telling the truth about just how awful things can be.
The author starts the book on a high, touring national parks with a friend, pointing to the beauty of nature and friendship. But a catastrophic allergic reaction to a medical procedure kicks off a horrific journey of sickness and at times appalling, at other (fewer) times compassionate medical treatment.
It really blows your mind what some people have to walk through, this journey felt deeply unfair in a lot of ways. I appreciate the level of honesty and think it will help a lot of people feel seen.
Thank you so much to NetGalley and the publisher for the digital arc.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
KJ has a way with words. There really isn't any more to be said.
As a medical provider, her perspective and POV as a patient is something to remember. I never want a patient to feel dismissed, calling me Dr. Dick! I was disappointed by those who didn't bother to help. And inspired by those who kept advocating and searching for answers.
Would like an update on the medical condition..somehow.
As a medical provider, her perspective and POV as a patient is something to remember. I never want a patient to feel dismissed, calling me Dr. Dick! I was disappointed by those who didn't bother to help. And inspired by those who kept advocating and searching for answers.
Would like an update on the medical condition..somehow.
January 26, 2026
Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for this ARC.
What a beautifully written memoir. The descriptions of the author’s visits to National Parks was poetic and descriptive, but reading her difficult journey through her health issues was heartbreaking. What a strong determined woman she is. It vividly describes the problems with the health system and issues with insurance headaches. Hearing about her health struggles makes my minor health problems bearable.
If you do not want to follow along with her during her autoimmune disorder journey I would not suggest reading this book. But if you want to to find strength in a poetic, heartfelt, openly honest memoir of a woman’s life then I would recommend.
What a beautifully written memoir. The descriptions of the author’s visits to National Parks was poetic and descriptive, but reading her difficult journey through her health issues was heartbreaking. What a strong determined woman she is. It vividly describes the problems with the health system and issues with insurance headaches. Hearing about her health struggles makes my minor health problems bearable.
If you do not want to follow along with her during her autoimmune disorder journey I would not suggest reading this book. But if you want to to find strength in a poetic, heartfelt, openly honest memoir of a woman’s life then I would recommend.
January 25, 2026
KJ- my sweet, sweet, SWEET friend you have done it again. This memoir I’m sure was not only helpful and pivotal to you in remembering to find hope amidst the arduous health battle you went through, but that it’s okay and takes a community to experience it alongside you. I’ve had to stop and pause during a lot of parts because I am chronically ill and disabled myself, and relate a lot to your stories, especially the horrific hospital admissions and ER ones.
I’m so glad you didn’t let those dismissals or insurance rejections for your IV treatments and medications harden you, because wow! What a well-written and beautiful memoir this is. I highlighted something or some quote on every page because it was all too relatable to me who lives in a sick and pain riddled body.
It is remarkable how you survived the anaphalaxis attacks, the denials, the Lupus, and the literal necrosis of your bones- especially in your knees and hips.
I am so sorry for all you’ve endured- but like you’ve repeated on many occasions within your memoir- you wouldn’t change it for the world because it’s made you who you are today and definitely a person who can find joy amidst the pain and in all of the spaces in between.
Lastly- I enjoyed learning about your adventures with your husband and friends at National Parks. I have never been to even one but feel like I’ve learned a lot of history through you and from you. I am so glad you didn’t let pain of your chronic illnesses stop you from living the life you want.
It’s important to not let our trauma harden us, but I always say… hey, it made me more funny and maybe a little cynical.
Reading your ARC of this book was an absolute privilege. Thank you, thank you, thank YOU.
I’m so glad you didn’t let those dismissals or insurance rejections for your IV treatments and medications harden you, because wow! What a well-written and beautiful memoir this is. I highlighted something or some quote on every page because it was all too relatable to me who lives in a sick and pain riddled body.
It is remarkable how you survived the anaphalaxis attacks, the denials, the Lupus, and the literal necrosis of your bones- especially in your knees and hips.
I am so sorry for all you’ve endured- but like you’ve repeated on many occasions within your memoir- you wouldn’t change it for the world because it’s made you who you are today and definitely a person who can find joy amidst the pain and in all of the spaces in between.
Lastly- I enjoyed learning about your adventures with your husband and friends at National Parks. I have never been to even one but feel like I’ve learned a lot of history through you and from you. I am so glad you didn’t let pain of your chronic illnesses stop you from living the life you want.
It’s important to not let our trauma harden us, but I always say… hey, it made me more funny and maybe a little cynical.
Reading your ARC of this book was an absolute privilege. Thank you, thank you, thank YOU.
March 6, 2026
This book inspired me so much. It showed me that even if I am going through a hard time, it it’s important to not give up because there is so much life out there to discover. I may not be going through the same thing as the author but it still showed me that it is okay to feel weak at times. When you feel like that, that is when you have to try your hardest to prove to yourself that you will not give up. And in the long run it will be worth it and you will feel so proud of yourself and your strength to keep fighting. This book opened my eyes to so much and I’m really got I got the chance for read it.
Review of advance copy received from Edelweiss+
*I read an advance copy and was not compensated
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
I couldn't help but reach out to author K.J. Ramsey as I began her latest book, "The Place Between Our Pains: A Memoir of What Joy Can Survive."
I had to tell her that this would be my latest "hospital" book, my latest book to be read while enduring yet another hospitalization during my sixty-year long journey with Spina Bifida. This journey, to be honest, was rather simple. Months in the planning, this was to be an overnight stay to remove yet another kidney stone to be followed by a week of recovery.
I was only a few pages into "The Place Between Our Pains" when I cried for the first time.
Okay. Okay. I sobbed. There, are you happy?
I laughed. I cried. I grieved. I remembered. I felt lonely. I felt fear. I dreamed. I even felt a little envy, yes envy.
"The Place Between Our Pains" is unapologetically raw. It is a memoir, a bit of a change of pace for Ramsey who often dwells within the spaces of lyrical self-help and poetry with a rich, more progressive theology layered in. "The Place Between Our Pains" is, however, K.J., still inherently helpful because that's in her bones (Sorry, K.J. Dark humor won.). However, the mission at hand here is less about self-help and more about establishing a body-centered way of living so rebellious and so defiantly committed to joy that not even the deepest, darkest hurts can snag it away.
If you know Ramsey, and you should, you know her as this deeply nature-committed soul who thrives on trails, practically orgasms with wildflowers, and embraces truth-telling. Most of us who follow Ramsey know the framework of this story -at one of the healthiest points she's had in recent years, Ramsey went off on a journey across national parks only to return and be thrust straight into a harrowing and life-threatening journey.
There's a question that seems to radiate throughout every trial, every tribulation, and every moment of despair - is joy still possible in this place?
Time and again, Ramsey answers with defiantly dark humor and twisted sarcasm "Yes. Yes, it is." This doesn't mean we're bathed in toxic positivity.We're not. About the only thing I'd call toxic to be found in "The Place Between Our Pains" would be the medications that hurt, the medical professionals that gaslight, and the systems that too often keep us grasping for a joy that seems ever so elusive.
If you know anything about my own story, you know that I'm a now sixty-year-old adult with Spina Bifida having long outlived my life expectancy along with the expectations for the quality of that life. I've had right around 100 surgeries. I'm also a paraplegic, double amputee, and two-time cancer survivor. I'm a survivor of sexual abuse and someone whose life has been filled with grief in a myriad of expressions.
I'm not K.J. Ramsey nor is this my story, however, Ramsey writes with such intimacy and universality that one cannot help but feel the truth of her words in our own life experiences.
And yet, time and again Ramsey's experience has been similar to my own. Yes, joy can survive and thrive through our darkest valleys and fights to stay alive.
"The Place Between Our Pains" doesn't sugarcoat the journey nor minimize the pain whether it's disbelieving doctors, bodies we can't control, medical debt, or the unfathomable truth of learning how to love the person we have become through all of our challenges.
I've long adored both Ramsey and her writing. In "The Place Between Our Pains," I couldn't help but fall in love with this husband of hers, Ryan, whose presence, grace, steadfastness, and occasional fits of brutal honesty are sublime. While it's hard for us who know Ramsey through her online presence to imagine anything but quirky humor and therapeutic insights, you don't go through these experiences unscathed and without moments of raw truths, absolute rages, shaking fears, and uncomfortable vulnerability.
"The Place Between Our Pains" is a memoir as much of joy as it is of pain. It is a memoir filled with Ramsey's twisted humor, lyrical storytelling, and vulnerable wonderings. We hear of those weeks and months when we heard less from Ramsey, knowing only bits and pieces of her journey whether she was enduring bedpans (NOTE: I will confess I wondered how she'd gotten this far in the journey without having this experience.), Mayo Clinic visits, uncommon intimacy with in-laws, friends who just kept showing up, and a medical system far too often more interested in perpetuating itself than actually healing its patients.
Why did I cry that first day? And several times after? Because this IS what joy can survive. "The Place Between Our Pains" doesn't just say "show up" in this life you'd never choose - it shows you with aching vulnerability and honesty someone who's doing it and those around her who are doing it and who are living into this idea that love doesn't leave, at least not easily, and that love actually grows when we show up, become village, and experience these things together. Again, that's not toxic positivity (for which Ramsey has little tolerance). It's a recognition that joy survives. Love survives. We are stronger together.
There were times as I read "The Place Between Our Pains" that I ached. Yes, I felt envy. During my cancer journey almost three years ago, I had one particular day when I felt, with absolute conviction, I was dying.
Of course, I didn't. An insightful nurse saw what was going on and took actions that I remain convinced saved my life that day. And yet, I was alone.
I was dying and alone. That still haunts me. I swore to myself I'd not let that happen ever again. Ramsey's storytelling me reminded me of my misguided efforts to be so fiercely independent that I blocked everyone out. I longed for people who visited, who touched, who helped, and who were part of a more hands-on village. I longed for that clinical, impersonal touch to not be the only touch I experience in my life.
And I wept. I wept a lot.
"The Place Between Our Pains" is, indeed, a memoir of what joy can survive. It's a reminder that our stories matter - the entirety of our stories. With refreshingly raw honesty and vulnerable humanity, Ramsey has crafted a lyrical memoir needing to be read by everyone from medical professionals to pastors to those living with chronic illnesses. It left me asking the question for myself "Where has joy survived in my own life?"
I had to tell her that this would be my latest "hospital" book, my latest book to be read while enduring yet another hospitalization during my sixty-year long journey with Spina Bifida. This journey, to be honest, was rather simple. Months in the planning, this was to be an overnight stay to remove yet another kidney stone to be followed by a week of recovery.
I was only a few pages into "The Place Between Our Pains" when I cried for the first time.
Okay. Okay. I sobbed. There, are you happy?
I laughed. I cried. I grieved. I remembered. I felt lonely. I felt fear. I dreamed. I even felt a little envy, yes envy.
"The Place Between Our Pains" is unapologetically raw. It is a memoir, a bit of a change of pace for Ramsey who often dwells within the spaces of lyrical self-help and poetry with a rich, more progressive theology layered in. "The Place Between Our Pains" is, however, K.J., still inherently helpful because that's in her bones (Sorry, K.J. Dark humor won.). However, the mission at hand here is less about self-help and more about establishing a body-centered way of living so rebellious and so defiantly committed to joy that not even the deepest, darkest hurts can snag it away.
If you know Ramsey, and you should, you know her as this deeply nature-committed soul who thrives on trails, practically orgasms with wildflowers, and embraces truth-telling. Most of us who follow Ramsey know the framework of this story -at one of the healthiest points she's had in recent years, Ramsey went off on a journey across national parks only to return and be thrust straight into a harrowing and life-threatening journey.
There's a question that seems to radiate throughout every trial, every tribulation, and every moment of despair - is joy still possible in this place?
Time and again, Ramsey answers with defiantly dark humor and twisted sarcasm "Yes. Yes, it is." This doesn't mean we're bathed in toxic positivity.We're not. About the only thing I'd call toxic to be found in "The Place Between Our Pains" would be the medications that hurt, the medical professionals that gaslight, and the systems that too often keep us grasping for a joy that seems ever so elusive.
If you know anything about my own story, you know that I'm a now sixty-year-old adult with Spina Bifida having long outlived my life expectancy along with the expectations for the quality of that life. I've had right around 100 surgeries. I'm also a paraplegic, double amputee, and two-time cancer survivor. I'm a survivor of sexual abuse and someone whose life has been filled with grief in a myriad of expressions.
I'm not K.J. Ramsey nor is this my story, however, Ramsey writes with such intimacy and universality that one cannot help but feel the truth of her words in our own life experiences.
And yet, time and again Ramsey's experience has been similar to my own. Yes, joy can survive and thrive through our darkest valleys and fights to stay alive.
"The Place Between Our Pains" doesn't sugarcoat the journey nor minimize the pain whether it's disbelieving doctors, bodies we can't control, medical debt, or the unfathomable truth of learning how to love the person we have become through all of our challenges.
I've long adored both Ramsey and her writing. In "The Place Between Our Pains," I couldn't help but fall in love with this husband of hers, Ryan, whose presence, grace, steadfastness, and occasional fits of brutal honesty are sublime. While it's hard for us who know Ramsey through her online presence to imagine anything but quirky humor and therapeutic insights, you don't go through these experiences unscathed and without moments of raw truths, absolute rages, shaking fears, and uncomfortable vulnerability.
"The Place Between Our Pains" is a memoir as much of joy as it is of pain. It is a memoir filled with Ramsey's twisted humor, lyrical storytelling, and vulnerable wonderings. We hear of those weeks and months when we heard less from Ramsey, knowing only bits and pieces of her journey whether she was enduring bedpans (NOTE: I will confess I wondered how she'd gotten this far in the journey without having this experience.), Mayo Clinic visits, uncommon intimacy with in-laws, friends who just kept showing up, and a medical system far too often more interested in perpetuating itself than actually healing its patients.
Why did I cry that first day? And several times after? Because this IS what joy can survive. "The Place Between Our Pains" doesn't just say "show up" in this life you'd never choose - it shows you with aching vulnerability and honesty someone who's doing it and those around her who are doing it and who are living into this idea that love doesn't leave, at least not easily, and that love actually grows when we show up, become village, and experience these things together. Again, that's not toxic positivity (for which Ramsey has little tolerance). It's a recognition that joy survives. Love survives. We are stronger together.
There were times as I read "The Place Between Our Pains" that I ached. Yes, I felt envy. During my cancer journey almost three years ago, I had one particular day when I felt, with absolute conviction, I was dying.
Of course, I didn't. An insightful nurse saw what was going on and took actions that I remain convinced saved my life that day. And yet, I was alone.
I was dying and alone. That still haunts me. I swore to myself I'd not let that happen ever again. Ramsey's storytelling me reminded me of my misguided efforts to be so fiercely independent that I blocked everyone out. I longed for people who visited, who touched, who helped, and who were part of a more hands-on village. I longed for that clinical, impersonal touch to not be the only touch I experience in my life.
And I wept. I wept a lot.
"The Place Between Our Pains" is, indeed, a memoir of what joy can survive. It's a reminder that our stories matter - the entirety of our stories. With refreshingly raw honesty and vulnerable humanity, Ramsey has crafted a lyrical memoir needing to be read by everyone from medical professionals to pastors to those living with chronic illnesses. It left me asking the question for myself "Where has joy survived in my own life?"
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
K.J. Ramsey has authored several books in the past, but this is her first memoir. In "The Place Between Our Pains: A Memoir of What Joy Can Survive", Ramsey honestly shares the highs (traveling cross country and visiting national parks) and lows (the near death experiences) of her life. She writes honestly about her autoimmune disorders, but is able to do so in a compelling way. Ramsey takes her readers through various medical appointments, hospital stays, and more as doctors and specialists work to determine what is causing her body to essentially fall apart. When talking about the grief she feels and the difficulty she has holding on to her faith, Ramsey asserts that "grief does not preclude goodness." She goes on to share a story about her friend Tara who taught her that the word "forsaken" in Psalm 22 actually means "loosened." She goes on to "paint . . . a picture of swaddling; a baby wrapped tight in a blanked by their parent to sleep or be soothed must be unwrapped if they are ever to crawl or walk. Forsaken means loosened, for the sake of expansion." This brought a whole new viewpoint for me about the phrase, "Why have you forsaken me?"
I also enjoyed the way Ramsey speaks about faith and warns Christians about how to speak to those hurting or in need. She says, "God-talk becomes empty when it is used to gain and hold power rather than give it away . . . Too many people speak of spirituality when what is most needed is silence. Too many people claim confidence in God's will and ways when what would be most comforting and honest is to just sit together and feel sad." I appreciated Ramsey's candor and transparency, and would recommend this book to others, specifically those who are hurting. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC. All opinions are my own.
I also enjoyed the way Ramsey speaks about faith and warns Christians about how to speak to those hurting or in need. She says, "God-talk becomes empty when it is used to gain and hold power rather than give it away . . . Too many people speak of spirituality when what is most needed is silence. Too many people claim confidence in God's will and ways when what would be most comforting and honest is to just sit together and feel sad." I appreciated Ramsey's candor and transparency, and would recommend this book to others, specifically those who are hurting. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC. All opinions are my own.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Please note: this eARC was given to me by NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
I was so grateful to receive an eARC for The Place Between Our Pains as KJ Ramsey's writing has been a healing balm for me and so many others. This is her first memoir and while unlike her other books, it's not fully meant to be educational, it certainly was for me. Living with the grief of chronic illness, a broken healthcare system, and relentless uncertainty about the future was its own education for KJ after the health crisis that this memoir chronicles. While I am not a sufferer of chronic illness, I have known grief and some days are better than others at befriending it, and the world is better because of people like KJ who know how to do so.
While the subtitle of this book is "A Memoir of What Joy Can Survive," you won't find any toxic positivity or quick fixes here. Rather, you will find that joy doesn't come from a frictionless set of circumstances; joy comes from accepting yourself and your life as it is. That doesn't cancel out fighting for our health or wanting to make positive changes to our lives - accepting ourselves and our lives as worth fighting for, no matter how low we are, is what makes it worth the fight.
I highly recommend this book and all of KJ's previous works. Amazing job, as always!
I was so grateful to receive an eARC for The Place Between Our Pains as KJ Ramsey's writing has been a healing balm for me and so many others. This is her first memoir and while unlike her other books, it's not fully meant to be educational, it certainly was for me. Living with the grief of chronic illness, a broken healthcare system, and relentless uncertainty about the future was its own education for KJ after the health crisis that this memoir chronicles. While I am not a sufferer of chronic illness, I have known grief and some days are better than others at befriending it, and the world is better because of people like KJ who know how to do so.
While the subtitle of this book is "A Memoir of What Joy Can Survive," you won't find any toxic positivity or quick fixes here. Rather, you will find that joy doesn't come from a frictionless set of circumstances; joy comes from accepting yourself and your life as it is. That doesn't cancel out fighting for our health or wanting to make positive changes to our lives - accepting ourselves and our lives as worth fighting for, no matter how low we are, is what makes it worth the fight.
I highly recommend this book and all of KJ's previous works. Amazing job, as always!
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
The Place Between Our Pains by K.J. Ramsey is a tender, bracing memoir about what it means to live inside a body that will not cooperate and to keep choosing relationship with that body anyway.
Ramsey, a licensed professional counselor living with chronic illness and complex PTSD, writes with an honesty that feels both exposed and deeply grounded. At 34, she reflects on how illness reshapes her marriage, her friendships, her faith, and her capacity to express joy. What moved me most is how she refuses spectacle. She captures quiet, defiant moments, instead, that invite the reader to examine their own relationship to their body. One of my favorite lines is this one: “I danced in defiance of disappointment. I basked in the goodness of my body. I twirled to tell her she is good.” This quote encapsulates the heart of this book - joy not as denial but as resistance.
This is not a recovery narrative wrapped in toxic positivity. Ramsey writes from inside flare-ups, grief, and medical gaslighting, yet she makes space for humor, reverence, and holy rage. The Place Between Our Pains asks us to reconsider joy as something that can coexist with misery, not erase it, and in doing so, it offers a compassionate mirror for anyone learning how to live faithfully, honestly, and gently in a hurting body.
Ramsey, a licensed professional counselor living with chronic illness and complex PTSD, writes with an honesty that feels both exposed and deeply grounded. At 34, she reflects on how illness reshapes her marriage, her friendships, her faith, and her capacity to express joy. What moved me most is how she refuses spectacle. She captures quiet, defiant moments, instead, that invite the reader to examine their own relationship to their body. One of my favorite lines is this one: “I danced in defiance of disappointment. I basked in the goodness of my body. I twirled to tell her she is good.” This quote encapsulates the heart of this book - joy not as denial but as resistance.
This is not a recovery narrative wrapped in toxic positivity. Ramsey writes from inside flare-ups, grief, and medical gaslighting, yet she makes space for humor, reverence, and holy rage. The Place Between Our Pains asks us to reconsider joy as something that can coexist with misery, not erase it, and in doing so, it offers a compassionate mirror for anyone learning how to live faithfully, honestly, and gently in a hurting body.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
DNF at approximately 30%
Trigger warnings: child abuse, family abuse, PTSD, medical gaslighting (this is the one that got me)
I absolutely loved most of Part I of The Place Between Our Pains and the complete unbridled joy with which Ramsey described her camping trip through the national parks of the western United States. Her descriptions were beautiful and her excitement at everything from a (man)-free hot spring to the 4 antennae of a banana slug was contagious. Her hints at past abuse were disturbing, but I was able to accept them and her future free of them because she did so completely.
Then I hit Part II and realized I am not as emotionally strong as the author. I cannot tolerate medical gaslighting because my fury at the experience of myself or others not being taken seriously or believed with regard to pain or health makes me want to smash things. And, so I stopped. I had not been aware of this part of the memoir when I originally requested it, or I would have realized it would be a struggle for me.
If you can handle a pendulum that swings as high to the side of nightmare as it does to joy, you will be strengthened by this story. Otherwise, please be careful, as it might make you crazy.
Thank you to NetGalley for an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Trigger warnings: child abuse, family abuse, PTSD, medical gaslighting (this is the one that got me)
I absolutely loved most of Part I of The Place Between Our Pains and the complete unbridled joy with which Ramsey described her camping trip through the national parks of the western United States. Her descriptions were beautiful and her excitement at everything from a (man)-free hot spring to the 4 antennae of a banana slug was contagious. Her hints at past abuse were disturbing, but I was able to accept them and her future free of them because she did so completely.
Then I hit Part II and realized I am not as emotionally strong as the author. I cannot tolerate medical gaslighting because my fury at the experience of myself or others not being taken seriously or believed with regard to pain or health makes me want to smash things. And, so I stopped. I had not been aware of this part of the memoir when I originally requested it, or I would have realized it would be a struggle for me.
If you can handle a pendulum that swings as high to the side of nightmare as it does to joy, you will be strengthened by this story. Otherwise, please be careful, as it might make you crazy.
Thank you to NetGalley for an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
[ARC from NetGalley]
In "The Place Between Our Pains", K.J. Ramsey takes us with her on an "adventure" that panned out a little differently than planned. Exploring some of the beloved national parks she had visited in her childhood, we initially witness her being present to herself in nature and healing some deep emotional wounds. The journey takes a turn, however, with the explosive onset of some scary symptoms.
Writing from the depths of her experience, K.J. shares the harrowing dance with near-death, the fight for her life, and the struggle to pick up the pieces in the aftermath of her own personal mystery illness tsunami. The writing is beautifully and heart-breakingly honest, not shying away from the sheer awfulness of the "hard thing", while unearthing glimmers of joy and laughter right there in the midst of it.
Deeply moving and genuinely uplifting, especially for those of us who live with our own collection of chronic illnesses. I know it's a cliche, but I laughed and cried, often both at once, and finished the book feeling a little more connected with my own drive to find joy in the place between my pains.
In "The Place Between Our Pains", K.J. Ramsey takes us with her on an "adventure" that panned out a little differently than planned. Exploring some of the beloved national parks she had visited in her childhood, we initially witness her being present to herself in nature and healing some deep emotional wounds. The journey takes a turn, however, with the explosive onset of some scary symptoms.
Writing from the depths of her experience, K.J. shares the harrowing dance with near-death, the fight for her life, and the struggle to pick up the pieces in the aftermath of her own personal mystery illness tsunami. The writing is beautifully and heart-breakingly honest, not shying away from the sheer awfulness of the "hard thing", while unearthing glimmers of joy and laughter right there in the midst of it.
Deeply moving and genuinely uplifting, especially for those of us who live with our own collection of chronic illnesses. I know it's a cliche, but I laughed and cried, often both at once, and finished the book feeling a little more connected with my own drive to find joy in the place between my pains.
March 6, 2026
K.J. Ramsey gave us a heartbreaking, beautiful, and at times humorous memoir of what was supposed to be a dream trip to the national parks… that turned into a season of unexplained illness, pain, and loss. The Place Between Our Pains is simultaneously a healing letter from who gets it (oh boy does she), reminding you that you’re not alone, and a traumatic account of her illness (content warning: it gets rough).
The best parts are when, in the midst of the unknown, Ramsey surprises you with moments of silliness or wisdom. How can joy survive amongst the pain and trauma, the doctors who disbelieve you, and the medical mysteries tearing your life apart? Life is communal. We keep moving forward. We find the beauty and joy in the places it has always been when we remember to look for it.
As someone with chronic pain and similar religious trauma, I was both excited and hesitant to read this—but, apparently, that’s only because I didn’t already know Ramsey. Her memoir won’t be for everyone, but it is a precious reminder of what joy can survive.
Thank you to NetGalley and Convergent Books for the eARC.
The best parts are when, in the midst of the unknown, Ramsey surprises you with moments of silliness or wisdom. How can joy survive amongst the pain and trauma, the doctors who disbelieve you, and the medical mysteries tearing your life apart? Life is communal. We keep moving forward. We find the beauty and joy in the places it has always been when we remember to look for it.
As someone with chronic pain and similar religious trauma, I was both excited and hesitant to read this—but, apparently, that’s only because I didn’t already know Ramsey. Her memoir won’t be for everyone, but it is a precious reminder of what joy can survive.
Thank you to NetGalley and Convergent Books for the eARC.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Memoirs tackling illness and journeys in the outdoors are often top tier to me, but this one missed the mark.
From the start the short passages - heavily filled with descriptions but lacking a narrative voice - were breaking up the continuity of the storytelling. It was challenging because Ramsey provided all these insights as to meaning and trauma - which would lead one to believe there is vulnerability - but it just felt a bit forced. In a memoir I want to to sit with the author's emotions and view them in a grander setting of their life. I don't want to be force fed life lessons (or at least not the entire book, save that overanalysis for the final chapters!!).
Surely a difficult journey and one worth sharing - the construction just didn't work for me. (2.5 rounded up)
From the start the short passages - heavily filled with descriptions but lacking a narrative voice - were breaking up the continuity of the storytelling. It was challenging because Ramsey provided all these insights as to meaning and trauma - which would lead one to believe there is vulnerability - but it just felt a bit forced. In a memoir I want to to sit with the author's emotions and view them in a grander setting of their life. I don't want to be force fed life lessons (or at least not the entire book, save that overanalysis for the final chapters!!).
Surely a difficult journey and one worth sharing - the construction just didn't work for me. (2.5 rounded up)
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Wow, wow, wow.
This was a beautifully written, brutally honest book.
I am not familiar with K.J. Ramsey- I've honestly never heard of her before. I just heard about the book via a suggested books newsletter and thought the premise sounded interesting. I am so glad I gave it a try!
I read this via a DRC on my Kindle, and I highlighted many passages in the book. I thought of several friends I want to get a copy of this book for when it is released, that will enjoy it as much as I did.
5 stars.
Thank you to Netgalley and the Publisher for a DRC of The Place Between Our Pains in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
This was a beautifully written, brutally honest book.
I am not familiar with K.J. Ramsey- I've honestly never heard of her before. I just heard about the book via a suggested books newsletter and thought the premise sounded interesting. I am so glad I gave it a try!
I read this via a DRC on my Kindle, and I highlighted many passages in the book. I thought of several friends I want to get a copy of this book for when it is released, that will enjoy it as much as I did.
5 stars.
Thank you to Netgalley and the Publisher for a DRC of The Place Between Our Pains in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
February 13, 2026
Thank you NetGalley for an advanced copy of this book.
3 stars. The first third of this book is too much “garnish” and not enough “meat”. Looks/sounds beautiful but not satisfying. I think the author will lose a lot of readers in the beginning part of the book as it doesn’t read as a memoir until about a third of the way through.
Once I made it to the “meat” of the book, the memoir as promised definitely delivered and the author did a beautiful job sharing the unexpected pains and joys of her complicated life story.
3 stars. The first third of this book is too much “garnish” and not enough “meat”. Looks/sounds beautiful but not satisfying. I think the author will lose a lot of readers in the beginning part of the book as it doesn’t read as a memoir until about a third of the way through.
Once I made it to the “meat” of the book, the memoir as promised definitely delivered and the author did a beautiful job sharing the unexpected pains and joys of her complicated life story.
January 31, 2026
ARC Review: I enjoyed this book, though the beginning lost me a bit as it took some time to fully draw me in. The ending, however, was incredibly moving. I loved how she was able to reflect on her journey and recognize that joy can exist alongside pain. The story also highlights the immense strength it takes to endure a medical crisis—physically, emotionally, and mentally. By the end, it felt honest, hopeful, and deeply human.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Thanks Netgalley and Convergent Books for the advance copy of this memoir. I had read KJ's other books and I appreciate her candor and prose. The Place Between Our Pain was a tough read. She did well conveying her medical journey; I was tired of the constant struggle by the half way mark of the book. Pick this book up if you need perspective on your own journey to health and joy in the midst of it.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
I wanted to like The Place Between Our Pains, but the writing didn’t work for me. It felt like a mix between poetry and prose and no matter how long I stayed at it, I never quite knew what was happening.
Sadly, I can’t recommend, which always feels hard when you’re “rating” someone’s pain.
Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Sadly, I can’t recommend, which always feels hard when you’re “rating” someone’s pain.
Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
KJ Ramsey embarks on a visit to the National Parks she visited as a child, seeking joy after an illness and recovery. She works to dig into childhood trauma while taking in the beauty of the landscapes around her. Her writing makes the journey compelling and vivid, and I was rooting for her health and peace of mind. This is a really beautiful book.
February 20, 2026
For everyone suffering from visible and invisible diseases, you should read this book! KJ shares one year of her life journey, including all the joy, heartbreak, hope, despair, and ALL the emotions she experienced. I often found myself rereading a sentence or a paragraph to give more time for the words and meaning to wash over me.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
far more memoir than i thought it was going to be - i appreciate the author taking us through a journey of her pain and reminding us that joy can exist in little moments between and even during the painful moments.
thanks to netgalley for the early copy!
thanks to netgalley for the early copy!
Want to read
February 21, 2026Jeff Wright is friends with her in Colorado, and recommended this book to me based on my own chronic health hell
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