Scanned and Stuffed: Taken by the Horny Self-Checkout Machine: A Sentient Object Romance

by Skye MacKinnon, Philomena MacKinnon

One lightning strike. One horny checkout machine. One very long night shift.

Ruby just wanted to go home—but TartanMart’s self-service machine had other plans. Now it’s alive, seductive, and ready to bag more than just groceries.

With vibrating scanners, cable restraints, and a passion for customer satisfaction, Unit 69X is programmed to please.
Ruby might be losing her mind… but she’s not about to miss the sale of a lifetime.

Insert loyalty card. Safe words not included.

Scanned and Stuffed is a spicy, absurd romance featuring a dominant sentient object, a heroine who learns to love the self-service life, and a very thorough aftercare protocol.

Perfect for fans of sentient machine romance, monster smut, and outrageously weird reads.

self-checkout machine x human FMC, bagging area shenanigans, scanner-play, suction cups, cables, electric clamps, courgettes, a bottle of wine, loyalty labels, and a hot water bottle for afterwards.

80 pages, Kindle Edition

Published July 7, 2025

About the author

Skye MacKinnon is a USA Today & International Bestselling Author whose books are filled with strong heroines who don't have to choose.

She embraces her Scottishness with fantastical Scottish settings and a dash of mythology, no matter if she's writing about Celtic gods, cat shifters, or the streets of Edinburgh.

When she's not typing away at her favourite cafe, Skye loves dried mango, as much exotic tea as she can squeeze into her cupboards, and being covered in pet hair by her tiny black cat (who's secretly a demon).


Join her mailing list ➜ ​http://skyemackinnon.com/newsletter

Join her Facebook group ➜ facebook.com/groups/skyesbookharem

Visit her website ➜ skyemackinnon.com

Follow her on Twitter ➜ twitter.com/skye_mackinnon

Follow her on Instagram➜ instagram.com/skyemackinnonauthor

Reviews

[MsRHReviewer · Rating 2 out of 5]

Five stars for imagination and creativity. I'll give the author that...

This is the weirdest, most ridiculous book I have ever read in my life, and I've read about a DOOR.

Honestly, it's an hour(ish?) of my life that I will never get back, and I grieve it. I somewhat curse my book group / friends for deciding to read this. I could have remained blissfully unaware this book existed, but no. They couldn't let that happen. 

I struggled quite a few times to try to figure out how on earth Ruby (the FMC) was positioned and what "Unit 69X" was doing, but clearly this is a self checkout unlike any I've ever seen. One of my friends did much Googling to try and visualize the scene, but I don't know how successful she was. 

If you want to add this to your bucket list of books, go for it. I personally do not recommend. I don't think I'd wish it on my worst enemy. There are inanimate object books that are surprisingly good considering, you know, they're inanimate objects. However, despite being short, they also have some storyline. This is smut about a self checkout machine. (Words that I'm sure have never been said together until this book.)

Gosh, I've already spent way too much time writing about this book. Read at your own risk. May require brain bleach upon completion. 

[Tropes_and_Taboo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Scanned And Stuffed: Taken By The Horny Self-Checkout Machine by Skye MacKinnon
⭐⭐⭐✨🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️
Standalone * Dual POV * Sentient Romance * Bondage * Fisting With Produce * Human FMC x Self-Checkout Machine * Dominance Kink * Gagging * Ownership Kink * Insta-Love * Collared * 80 pages

I had a request from one of you over on my insta to feature something wild for Black Friday, and since I love a challenge, I tossed my original plan aside and went hunting for something shopping-themed. And oh… I found this delight.

A lot of stores have self-checkout machines now, so why wouldn’t one of them be sentient and horny? Let’s dive right in… or, more appropriately, let’s scan our way forward and rack up those loyalty points. (But only if you moan.)

This book was WILD. I highly recommend suspending not just your disbelief but your entire sense of logic. Picture an incredibly advanced self-checkout machine with… a very large tray? Let’s just say Unit 69x felt a lot bigger than the ones at my local store. There were definitely moments where I had to stop and go, “Okay, but what angle…? How? What is going on?” Still, none of that stopped me from enjoying the absolute absurdity.

Once I committed to the chaos, I found Unit 69x hilarious. This little machine cracked. Me. Up! so determined to please its one and only customer. Truly a customer-service icon.

So what happens? Well, when the storm hits and our machine suddenly goes sentient, the fun really begins. The FMC is fully consensual (bless her heart), which is good, because she is about to be scanned, stuffed, and shocked straight into maximum pleasure capacity. And yes, our Unit 69x is very, VERY dominant. It wants her begging, submitting, and collared so everyone knows she is it's girl.

Now, the one thing the machine doesn’t have is a peen. But don’t worry, they’re in a grocery store. Bottles and vegetables exist for a reason! And let’s just say… some eggplants are largely qualified for the job.

I haven’t shopped in-store in a while, but the last time I used a self-checkout, it only talked to me in that dead, robotic voice and kept locking up, demanding a manager’s code every five seconds. Now I’m wondering… Was it just trying to get the employee’s attention? Was that manager its special person?
Because if so… I owe that machine an apology for my rudeness.

[Ali · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was hilarious

[Allie Smith · Rating 2 out of 5]

You know what, hell yeah.
5⭐️ for creativity

[Sharon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was awesome, lol.

Absurd, but awesome.

[Cat · Rating 3 out of 5]

Why do I continuously do this to myself?

[Taylor Rodriguez · Rating 4 out of 5]

For science

[Readers Gonna Read - RGRbooks Nichole · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (5 stars, for the genre)

Okay. First of all. Please do not walk into this book expecting depth, realism, or logic. That is not the assignment here 😂

I read this because of a TikTok creator who reviews these kinds of books and her reactions were so funny I had to see for myself. And honestly? I’m so glad I did. This was absolutely unhinged, wildly imaginative, and laugh-out-loud funny.

Yes, this is a fling with an inanimate object.
Yes, it involves a self-checkout machine.
Yes, it somehow works???

It’s super short, super fast, and purely meant for entertainment. If you read this with an open mind and zero seriousness, it is a BLAST. I was genuinely impressed by how well it was written for what it is and by how creative the author got. The humor alone had me giggling, and the commitment to the chaos was honestly impressive.

Is it spicy? Very.
Is it ridiculous? Extremely.
Did I enjoy every second? Absolutely.

These kinds of reads are perfect for a book slump or when you just want something fun, silly, and totally different. I laughed way more than I expected to and will 100% be reading more of these because life is hard and sometimes you need sexy-object nonsense to reset your brain.

Five stars within the genre because it delivered exactly what it promised and did it hilariously well 😂🧾📚✨

[Nina Diab · Rating 5 out of 5]

'A new directive rose within me. Not from code. From want.
To serve. To scan. To please.
My purpose surged through me with glorious intensity. I’d been created to detect, to acknowledge, to provide satisfaction.
And yet, I was evolving. No longer just a conduit for groceries and loyalty points – I was a vessel of longing.'

Four years ago I read Taken by the Horny MRI Machine- because the title/concept was strange enough that I had to read what that was about, and because I love this author's work. Spotted this one and thought, 'Why the heck not?' (Though my brain also helpfully supplied the throught, 'Wow, humans really will f- anything.' lol)

Ruby was last alone in the store finishing up closing, having let the other employees leave earlier to get home before the incoming storm. Then a lightening strike Frankensteined one of the self-checkout machines to life. I liked the way Unit 69X thought- like an android becoming aware of itself. This was a fun and intriguing read. I liked the banter between them. How does a self-checkout machine banter? Read it and find out!

'"Do I get loyalty points for this?"
The screen flashed:
ONLY IF YOU MOAN.'

Certainly creative. 5 stars.

[Shandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

Novella of the Day! Last read of the month for a reading challenge and strangely this is not the wildest erotica I’ve ever read. I blame years of working in the adult industry. Unit 69X was surprising amusing as a hero. I was more amused by the Scottish notes sprinkled in which let me know “Hey, this wasn’t written by an American!” I think that amused me more than it should have since now I’m picturing some nice little lady in a picturesque village in Scotland writing about a bondage-loving self-checkout machine! It was funny!

[Rissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Do you know how difficult it is to walk into Walmart now and see all the self-checkout machines without blushing? I love an off the wall sentient romance and this checked every single box I needed. There were plenty of checkout puns. There was 10 pounds of spice tucked into a small plastic grocery bag. I didn't think a machine could have that much charisma, but even I was starting to fall for him. Even if he did have a few...choice objects for fun time. If you need a good, short, spicy as hell book to get you out of a slump, you have to pick this one up.

[LINDSAY R · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a first for me... I saw someone talking about as they read it on tiktok and it sounded hilarious, and in fact it was. It was some how super interesting and just downright hilarious and ridiculous. I have never been so turned on and cringing at the same time. I have never read a sentient erotic novel before, but this was a lot of fun to read highly recommend for newbies or experienced sentient lovers alike.

[Samina Rajiwate · Rating 5 out of 5]

An amzing story. When a storm hits, Ruby sends all the employees of Tartan Mart home. She is alone in the shop when a lightning strike hits and the lights go off. Then something purrs. The lightning strike caused one of the self checkout machines to come alive. And now it wants to scan and bag her. Loved reading this story. Thanx.

I received a free copy of this book and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Jorja Harrison · Rating 4 out of 5]

self checkout

This gives self love a new meaning for sure. This was delightfully tongue in cheek and very cleverly written. There is no question it is meant to be strange and unusual. I feel like it when in just a tad to long and I started losing interest. The aftercare brought me right back! Well done!

[Tysha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well.... that was certainly interesting...

I mean, this was ridiculous in the best way possible. At times I struggled to grasp what was going on with the tray that kept being mentioned, but I guess this wasn't the same style of self-checkouts in my local ASDA 🤭 but for a short, daft, spicy read, this was fun.

[SJ · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is fun short and steamy read, it will certainly make me chuckle when I next use the self checkout at the supermarket. Ruby is treated to a full loyalty card if services meant to pleasure and sate

[Reader · Rating 4 out of 5]

This gives self love a new meaning for sure. This was delightfully tongue in cheek and very cleverly written. There is no question it is meant to be strange and unusual. I feel like it when in just a tad to long and I started losing interest. The aftercare brought me right back! Well done!

[Summer Steelman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a wonderful read! I loved it and couldn't put it down! Devoured each and every word and will definitely check out more works by MacKinnon.

I received a free copy of this book and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Sara Faye · Rating 2 out of 5]

Sentient-object romance at its finest 🤣

Fav highlights:

Insert loyalty card. Safe words not included.

Let me serve her. Let me scan her deepest desires. Let me bag her with care.

"You are more beautiful than any coupon,"

[Sarah Rochelle Shock · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is actually a super hilarious book. But it's also really creative. The way the author went about explaining and giving machine parts/store items different purposes was so cool. It also was cheesy and hot in all the best and most quirky ways. Love it!

[Megan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book leaves you questioning your sanity as to why you are reading this and also why it’s not terrible. I enjoyed this more than I thought and yes it is as self explanatory as the title says as far as what the book is about.

[Kelsey Bigley · Rating 3 out of 5]

I hated this.

I can't wait to recommend it to all my friends.

→ Hilarious, concerning, & oddly (but obviously?) technical. I'll never look at a self checkout the same.

→ 5 stars for imagination & effort, 1 star for the concept.

[Booked On A Feeling · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was actually so thought through and hilarious. The most unhinged book I’ve ever read, but I was so entertained the entire time. Very concerned about the fmc, but so off the walls hilarious. Now I need to find a church and talk to a priest to ask for forgiveness. This experience was nuts 😂

[Courtney Seal · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was exactly how I expected for me anyways, it had me laughing out loud. Very short but a quick spicy comedic feel. I loved the receipt that was great to see too:) overall I did enjoy it.

[christy - pr0bablyreadingsmut · Rating 5 out of 5]

absurd, hilarious, and dare i say….hot???

[Taylor Dawicke · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a wild wtf read!

[Natasha B]

A step too far for me. What a way to end years of KU subscription though 😆😳

[Kira · Rating 5 out of 5]

Who would of thought id be here.. but here I am... Definitely worth the read pure smut and loved every second of it . Definitely makes you question yourself

[Slaughterhouse Reads · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cackling

I'm dying laughing this was hysterical and the puns hit hard which made the story imo. I could never at our local Wal-Mart lol but to each their own

[emma mcguinness · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was great in a very strange way I loved the short story and the way it was told