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Sweet Nothings
Thirty years on from The First Stone, Madison Griffiths is ready to blow the conversation wide open
The professor who whispers sweet nothings into his students’ ears makes sweet nothings out of them.
Sweet Nothings is a gripping account of four women’s interwoven stories in the wake of having once been students who embarked on romantic relationships with their university professors.
Through the stories of Rose, Blaine, Cara and Elsie, Griffiths explores what these relationships tell us about power and interrogates how class and gender are expressed and exploited in our academic institutions.
By tackling sex, desire and its consequences in a university setting, Griffiths looks keenly at the gender imbalances that inform these affairs, and how thorny betrayal becomes when a woman is made to believe she is the ‘exception to the rule’ only to find out she is one of many.
Griffiths’ portrayal reveals, with searing candidness, the labyrinth of ego, ambition, and abuse that can begin in the classroom. It’s an unflinching critique of the hierarchies that distort relationships and can leave lasting scars.
PRAISE FOR SWEET NOTHINGS
‘There are few writers I trust to explore complex power dynamics with the care, nuance and sharp edge that Madison Griffiths brings to SweetNothings. This book questions what it means to love, to desire and to reckon with our autonomy in ways that I believe will resonate with all women. A must read from one of Australia’s strongest feminist voices.’ Hannah Ferguson, author of Taboo
‘A courageous interrogation of problematic sex delivered with poetic flourish.’ Chanel Contos, author of Consent Laid Bare
‘An examination of power and sex that prompts fury for what is done and grief for what is lost.’ Clementine Ford, author of I Don’t
‘With quiet fury and lyric force, Sweet Nothings lays bare the shrouded space where pedagogy and power entangle. Griffiths reminds us that women go to university to study—not to become an object of desire.’ Lucinda ‘Froomes’ Price, author of All I Ever Wanted Was to Be Hot
‘Madison's stunningly beautiful prose is the perfect vessel for these important, intricate stories of desire and power, and this book is profoundly urgent and necessary for our time. Everyone must read this brilliantly rendered, fiercely honest book. The very best nonfiction writing is both hard-hitting and tender, and this book is both of those things and more.’Lucia Osborne-Crowley, author of I Chose Elena
The professor who whispers sweet nothings into his students’ ears makes sweet nothings out of them.
Sweet Nothings is a gripping account of four women’s interwoven stories in the wake of having once been students who embarked on romantic relationships with their university professors.
Through the stories of Rose, Blaine, Cara and Elsie, Griffiths explores what these relationships tell us about power and interrogates how class and gender are expressed and exploited in our academic institutions.
By tackling sex, desire and its consequences in a university setting, Griffiths looks keenly at the gender imbalances that inform these affairs, and how thorny betrayal becomes when a woman is made to believe she is the ‘exception to the rule’ only to find out she is one of many.
Griffiths’ portrayal reveals, with searing candidness, the labyrinth of ego, ambition, and abuse that can begin in the classroom. It’s an unflinching critique of the hierarchies that distort relationships and can leave lasting scars.
PRAISE FOR SWEET NOTHINGS
‘There are few writers I trust to explore complex power dynamics with the care, nuance and sharp edge that Madison Griffiths brings to SweetNothings. This book questions what it means to love, to desire and to reckon with our autonomy in ways that I believe will resonate with all women. A must read from one of Australia’s strongest feminist voices.’ Hannah Ferguson, author of Taboo
‘A courageous interrogation of problematic sex delivered with poetic flourish.’ Chanel Contos, author of Consent Laid Bare
‘An examination of power and sex that prompts fury for what is done and grief for what is lost.’ Clementine Ford, author of I Don’t
‘With quiet fury and lyric force, Sweet Nothings lays bare the shrouded space where pedagogy and power entangle. Griffiths reminds us that women go to university to study—not to become an object of desire.’ Lucinda ‘Froomes’ Price, author of All I Ever Wanted Was to Be Hot
‘Madison's stunningly beautiful prose is the perfect vessel for these important, intricate stories of desire and power, and this book is profoundly urgent and necessary for our time. Everyone must read this brilliantly rendered, fiercely honest book. The very best nonfiction writing is both hard-hitting and tender, and this book is both of those things and more.’Lucia Osborne-Crowley, author of I Chose Elena
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
September 2, 2025
Topical, fraught and so very well written. Men in power sleeping with their female students, such a myriad of issues and so very grey, complicated and messy. Madison Griffiths has written this with the kind of lived experience that matters. I think the assumptions surrounding this murky topic can easily be discussed, pulled apart and commented on by a stranger, but this issue is an unknown entity if you have not walked in one's shoes. It’s problematic, it’s worrying and troublesome, in fact it’s so very complex and layered that the topic raises so many questions that it’s probably not able to answer them all, but the author appears to have. Provoking, sad, intriguing and utterly abhorrent. Four women were interviewed, each with their own distinct story. These men are all in power, some are married, some are older than others, and they have done it many times. They abuse their power while keeping up the appearance of being trustworthy and professional, they appear publicly condoning the behaviour at their institutions. Some carried it on for decades. Inappropriateness stemmed further than the physical, thesis work was pulled apart to appear like business as usual to the outside. One woman is certain what has happened isn’t wrong, providing slight ambiguity to the reader. I was not convinced. I am so impressed with this book, the author pouring over many resources, transcripts and institutional policies. She also spoke with many men who admit to sleeping with their students, of course creepily laying it on quite thick with her.
One scene comes to mind, and I lost ALL of the photos I took of favourite quotes. Let’s see if I don’t annihilate the idea. Relating to the men shrugging off their wrongness, their liability. It goes something like this. One bad man thinks he’s not as bad as the other bad man, and that bad man thinks ‘surely I'm not crossing the line, my behaviour is fine’ then the next bad man thinks nothing of it. (This is definitely a messy attempt!)
In their 30’s and 40’s now the women are ready for the honesty needed to reflect and tell their stories. Well done Madison, I hope this book finds its way into many hands.
Thank you Ultimo Press for my review copy.
One scene comes to mind, and I lost ALL of the photos I took of favourite quotes. Let’s see if I don’t annihilate the idea. Relating to the men shrugging off their wrongness, their liability. It goes something like this. One bad man thinks he’s not as bad as the other bad man, and that bad man thinks ‘surely I'm not crossing the line, my behaviour is fine’ then the next bad man thinks nothing of it. (This is definitely a messy attempt!)
In their 30’s and 40’s now the women are ready for the honesty needed to reflect and tell their stories. Well done Madison, I hope this book finds its way into many hands.
Thank you Ultimo Press for my review copy.
September 4, 2025
Sweet Nothings' creative non-fiction style is inherently limiting. Because Griffiths cannot identify any of the relationships, it feels like a lot of detail is missing. Professor student relationships exist within specific institutions, and that context was lost in the detached anecdotes.
Despite that, and the book's jumpy, hard-to-follow structure, I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the writing. The combination of a personal essay, sharp journalistic observations, and flowery descriptions of awkward intimacy was energising. The relationships made me angry yet quietly excited.
One of the few times purple prose has not thrown me off...
I cannot believe Griffiths has not read Love and Virtue!
Despite that, and the book's jumpy, hard-to-follow structure, I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the writing. The combination of a personal essay, sharp journalistic observations, and flowery descriptions of awkward intimacy was energising. The relationships made me angry yet quietly excited.
One of the few times purple prose has not thrown me off...
I cannot believe Griffiths has not read Love and Virtue!
July 14, 2025
Prose style took time away from the stories themselves and there was an irrelevant focus on the author’s current day relationship.
In Griffiths’ own words: “I am endeavouring to untwist two knots—the question of whether or not pedagogical relationships are proof of an exceptional love, found in the wrong place at the wrong time, or just exceptionally bad teaching practices […]. Amia Srinivasan unravels it better in her book The Right to Sex”… Enough said
In Griffiths’ own words: “I am endeavouring to untwist two knots—the question of whether or not pedagogical relationships are proof of an exceptional love, found in the wrong place at the wrong time, or just exceptionally bad teaching practices […]. Amia Srinivasan unravels it better in her book The Right to Sex”… Enough said
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November 13, 2025Going into this, I thought it was a novel by manner of the cover etc. I didn't find out until hearing Madison at a panel, who was very articulate and presented very insightful thoughts.
An interesting approach to writing but I think based on the structure of the book, it would have worked better as a longform article. In my humble opinion, ntertwining the author's experiences and observations with the women interviewed wasn't the best choice because I struggled to keep up. If it was organised into chapters it may have been better. This is a necessary read, and teacher-student, tutot-student etc. relationships must never be normalised, even if over the age of consent or in a university setting. As a woman, some anecdotes made my skin crawl and made me even more disappointed in the world of 'relationships' and institutionalised patriarchy.
An interesting approach to writing but I think based on the structure of the book, it would have worked better as a longform article. In my humble opinion, ntertwining the author's experiences and observations with the women interviewed wasn't the best choice because I struggled to keep up. If it was organised into chapters it may have been better. This is a necessary read, and teacher-student, tutot-student etc. relationships must never be normalised, even if over the age of consent or in a university setting. As a woman, some anecdotes made my skin crawl and made me even more disappointed in the world of 'relationships' and institutionalised patriarchy.
August 10, 2025
A slightly nauseating read!
Rightly placing the female-as-student experience at the centre and it is clear how so many precious hours went into getting to know these women on such an intimate level.
However, the writing often diverts jarringly between their stories. I often had to go back and check who was who in several anecdotes - both student and tutor.
Rightly placing the female-as-student experience at the centre and it is clear how so many precious hours went into getting to know these women on such an intimate level.
However, the writing often diverts jarringly between their stories. I often had to go back and check who was who in several anecdotes - both student and tutor.
September 18, 2025
"The wooden walls around them creaked a little as they rehearsed their pledge in the dead of night: that wrongness did not live here. Harrison was dogged in his convictions. Wrongness, he decided, is forever unable to remove the ghastly mask it wears. So, if it were to reside here, they surely would've spotted it by now. Where was it when he lay, gleeful and doting with her? Why was it that she couldn't feel it's furore--or, at the very least, the gruff of its stubble--as they fell asleep together all those times? 'Don't worry,' he insisted on many occasions. 'We are alone.'"
"He is to tend to the wails of his youngster, and Rose is instead to cling to some paper trail of badness, the bound and formalised ledger of some interlude of her twenties, her life, as if it is anything at all to him. At every juncture, she and Ellen muster up some evidence and giggle to themselves, as if to say, 'This'll do it.' It never does. He continues on, braced by the warm steadfastness of his institution, and they will--and do--go to bed hungry."
"He is so untouchable, and they instead are so touched, so tampered with, so tired."
okay speaking of hard to follow simultaneous storylines--this was unfortunately a struggle to follow in many moments maybe bc there were so few distinguishing characteristics between any of the women or the male professors. that being said, there were some passages, clearly, that struck me upon reading and that strike me again now in reflection.
griffiths writes about only being able to fully understand the true nature of ostensibly loving relationships between (consenting) adult students and their much older professors once those relationships have come to an end. a lot of it focuses on the horror of consenting to something in the moment because you understand it to be singular, and then, in the years to come, it becomes quite obvious that it was serial. this is so painful!
so while i was really moved in certain moments the overall arc of the book didn't totally do it for me i think because it was stylistically never made clear whether the feel of the narration of the four relationships were supposed to be novelistic or more like case studies and it didn't solidly land in either camp.
all of that said these men and all their like-minded colleagues are going to hell and there is nothing they can do about it. sorry!
"He is to tend to the wails of his youngster, and Rose is instead to cling to some paper trail of badness, the bound and formalised ledger of some interlude of her twenties, her life, as if it is anything at all to him. At every juncture, she and Ellen muster up some evidence and giggle to themselves, as if to say, 'This'll do it.' It never does. He continues on, braced by the warm steadfastness of his institution, and they will--and do--go to bed hungry."
"He is so untouchable, and they instead are so touched, so tampered with, so tired."
okay speaking of hard to follow simultaneous storylines--this was unfortunately a struggle to follow in many moments maybe bc there were so few distinguishing characteristics between any of the women or the male professors. that being said, there were some passages, clearly, that struck me upon reading and that strike me again now in reflection.
griffiths writes about only being able to fully understand the true nature of ostensibly loving relationships between (consenting) adult students and their much older professors once those relationships have come to an end. a lot of it focuses on the horror of consenting to something in the moment because you understand it to be singular, and then, in the years to come, it becomes quite obvious that it was serial. this is so painful!
so while i was really moved in certain moments the overall arc of the book didn't totally do it for me i think because it was stylistically never made clear whether the feel of the narration of the four relationships were supposed to be novelistic or more like case studies and it didn't solidly land in either camp.
all of that said these men and all their like-minded colleagues are going to hell and there is nothing they can do about it. sorry!
August 4, 2025
In Maddison’s words, Sweet Nothings explores how “women find themselves placed in the ruckus of power, desire and surrender.” I was drawn to this book not only because of its subject matter, but also because I was eager to hear directly from the women who came forward to share their experiences.
My favourite quote from the book however was when Madison said that "because professor[s] who whispers sweet nothings into his students' ears makes sweet nothings out of them."
However, I found the writing style quite difficult to follow, as it frequently and abruptly shifted between the women’s stories. While this fragmented structure may appeal to some readers, I found it hard to connect with each woman on a deeper level.
Thank you Ultimo Press for the ARC.
My favourite quote from the book however was when Madison said that "because professor[s] who whispers sweet nothings into his students' ears makes sweet nothings out of them."
However, I found the writing style quite difficult to follow, as it frequently and abruptly shifted between the women’s stories. While this fragmented structure may appeal to some readers, I found it hard to connect with each woman on a deeper level.
Thank you Ultimo Press for the ARC.
July 19, 2025
* possibly 4.5
August 17, 2025
DNF at 45%
July 14, 2025
Relationships between secondary students and teachers are wrong.
But how about relationships between university students and professors and tutors? This is the question that Sweet Nothings considers. Are these pedagogical relationships a difference in kind or a difference in degree? That is, is age the only criterion of wrongness?*
*Age is of course not the only criterion of wrongness: for example, it is wrong for a boss to have a relationship with a co-worker because of the power imbalance. What I mean to consider is whether pedagogical relationships are a difference in kind (that is, not wrong as relationships between secondary students and teachers are) or a difference in degree (that is, wrong to a lesser degree as relationships between secondary students and teachers are, because of the age difference between the university student and the professor and tutor).*
^^^ I am not sure if that is any clearer!
Sweet Nothings is the story of four women who, like the author, dated their professors.
Some of the stories are so sad. I feel bad for Rose. Her professor dated three students after her. As a result, she felt that it was a bit of a kink (rather than right person wrong time and wrong place).
A binary catches fire on whatever side of the fence relationships such as these fall upon. That is, pedagogical relationships are grey and intricate.
There is also a question to consider about the role of the pedagogue. That is, how close should professors and tutors be to their students?:
1. After a cousin of the author had committed suicide, the author handed in a poorly written assignment. The professor adjusted her mark enough to not impact her grade point average. This was how he made something fair something terribly unfair.
2. Some of the author's favourite memories of school are the exceptions that were made for her. For example, she was able to practice on her music teacher's grand piano every Saturday for two months in preparation for an exam.
Both professors and teachers deeply cared about her. The former did it in all of the afar ways he could; however, the latter did it in a very close way.
And what about the future of pedagogical relationships? In the UK, University College London is the third university to ban sexual and romantic relationships.
But how about relationships between university students and professors and tutors? This is the question that Sweet Nothings considers. Are these pedagogical relationships a difference in kind or a difference in degree? That is, is age the only criterion of wrongness?*
*Age is of course not the only criterion of wrongness: for example, it is wrong for a boss to have a relationship with a co-worker because of the power imbalance. What I mean to consider is whether pedagogical relationships are a difference in kind (that is, not wrong as relationships between secondary students and teachers are) or a difference in degree (that is, wrong to a lesser degree as relationships between secondary students and teachers are, because of the age difference between the university student and the professor and tutor).*
^^^ I am not sure if that is any clearer!
Sweet Nothings is the story of four women who, like the author, dated their professors.
Some of the stories are so sad. I feel bad for Rose. Her professor dated three students after her. As a result, she felt that it was a bit of a kink (rather than right person wrong time and wrong place).
A binary catches fire on whatever side of the fence relationships such as these fall upon. That is, pedagogical relationships are grey and intricate.
There is also a question to consider about the role of the pedagogue. That is, how close should professors and tutors be to their students?:
1. After a cousin of the author had committed suicide, the author handed in a poorly written assignment. The professor adjusted her mark enough to not impact her grade point average. This was how he made something fair something terribly unfair.
2. Some of the author's favourite memories of school are the exceptions that were made for her. For example, she was able to practice on her music teacher's grand piano every Saturday for two months in preparation for an exam.
Both professors and teachers deeply cared about her. The former did it in all of the afar ways he could; however, the latter did it in a very close way.
And what about the future of pedagogical relationships? In the UK, University College London is the third university to ban sexual and romantic relationships.
October 18, 2025
i <3'd Griffiths observations abt how men aren't fluent in being 'looked-at' in the way women are well versed in since girlhood - so when they have a class/ lecture hall of young, interesting women paying attention to them, they feel powerful/ entitled. after all 'hasn't he earned this? isn't it all just some fringe benefit to being good and smart and prolific and man?' (ate!!)
i did get confused at times between the different women / relationships etc but i think that could be because i was usually reading this on the tram and i was half keeping an eye out for myki inspectors (lol)
thank u griffiths for platforming the voices of women & thank u to each woman who shared their story - wishing u all healing and happiness
i did get confused at times between the different women / relationships etc but i think that could be because i was usually reading this on the tram and i was half keeping an eye out for myki inspectors (lol)
thank u griffiths for platforming the voices of women & thank u to each woman who shared their story - wishing u all healing and happiness
August 24, 2025
A very easy to read account of female university students getting taken advantage of by their lecturers or tutors. The conclusion is that more needs to be done about consent at a higher level of education to prevent some of the more uglier fall outs of this type of relationship. Some Melbourne universities not outwardly named feature in here, but the standout story? Female student sleeps with lecturer, and later on realises that she has 'done it' with an old man who has toilet paper hanging out of his backside...which in itself acts as a cautionary tale of who or what not to involve yourself in.
September 10, 2025
una exploració de les relacions sexoafectives entre alumnes i professors a la universitat a partir de quatre històries reals i les experiències pròpies de l'autora
el problema de les exploracions és que no es té un camí marcat i es va tirant endavant per descobrir què s'hi troba i, si no hi ha una bona edició i redacció de les idees, acabes enmig de la selva sense saber on ets ni com arribar a bon port
o sigui, que m'ha quedat clar que a l'autora les relacions alumna-professor li semblen malament, però no et podria dir gaire per què
el problema de les exploracions és que no es té un camí marcat i es va tirant endavant per descobrir què s'hi troba i, si no hi ha una bona edició i redacció de les idees, acabes enmig de la selva sense saber on ets ni com arribar a bon port
o sigui, que m'ha quedat clar que a l'autora les relacions alumna-professor li semblen malament, però no et podria dir gaire per què
July 12, 2025
3.5 stars. An interesting topic, but I struggled with the execution. Griffiths’ writing style is quite verbose, and at times her voice seemed to overshadow the stories of the women she set out to amplify.
I also found the constant shifting between the four subjects and their tutors, wives, other affair partners, and tangled dynamics made it difficult to stay grounded and engaged with each story. Still, an interesting exploration of a murky topic.
I also found the constant shifting between the four subjects and their tutors, wives, other affair partners, and tangled dynamics made it difficult to stay grounded and engaged with each story. Still, an interesting exploration of a murky topic.
July 13, 2025
This is an interesting exploration of a topic that usually remains flat and clichéd, bringing dimensions and complexity and most of all emotions into the phenomenon of student teacher relationships. I was hooked onto it, although I struggled with the execution a little. The various stories and characters get a little too entangled with the narrative and reflective voice.
August 18, 2025
DNF, didn’t vibe with how the stories were told as well, it was all too intertwined and confusing with the names and different stories, and the writing style felt like it took away from the seriousness of the topic? Maybe it would work better when reading in one long sitting, but reading a chapter here and there didn’t work for me at all
September 20, 2025
was super excited to read this and definitely enjoyed aspects of the book, but the writing prose took away from the stories for me and the jumping between the four women (plus the authors previous and current relationship) was too fragmented for me
July 28, 2025
bizarrely structured, overwritten, lacking in substance, punctuated by black-and-white thinking and altogether too much self-reflexive authorial handwringing.
August 10, 2025
Great writing! A really sincere and scathing exploration into the ethics of student/professor relationships in Australian universities.
Read by Mahli
*content warning - sexual absuse*
Read by Mahli
*content warning - sexual absuse*
August 14, 2025
DNF - read for bookclub and still couldn’t finish
August 17, 2025
desire contaminated by power // power contaminating desire
October 19, 2025
This is an important topic but not a great exploration of it.
November 12, 2025
i’ve never been so close to not finishing a book purely because i thought i couldn’t handle it. i’m sitting in the park right now trying to gather my thoughts but i’m genuinely speechless; ‘sweet nothings’ is an incredibly important book. madison griffiths’ beautiful prose lifts the stories to immeasurable heights. so thoughtfully written, such vivid allegories painting intensely heartbreaking and moving pictures throughout.
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews