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534 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 25, 2025
There was something wrong with him that he liked a gift from his kidnapper more than any gift he’d ever gotten from his boyfriend.
Nikolai, time after time, was nothing like Mattia. He was so gentle with Elliot, so careful every time Elliot was nervous or jumpy.
“Yes, okay. We kiss and make up now.” He was around the counter before Elliot could even finish sputtering, “We weren’t even fighting!”
“Has no one been soft with you before? Has no one touched you before like this?”
It was just a toy, just a stuffed animal, but it also wasn’t. It felt lewd, what he was doing, almost forbidden. It was a shocking level of intimacy that he never would’ve dreamed of fantasizing about, let alone trying, and certainly not with anyone else. But here he was. With Nikolai and with Fezzik.
“Fezzik is big, perfect for cuddling.” He leaned further in, lips just barely brushing Elliot’s ear. “For making Котик [kitten] come.”
“Will you keep me?” Elliot asked, apropos of nothing. “Do I… do I still get to have you?”
“Always.”
Nikolai wanted to be a man worth knowing. Worth being known by Elliot. Even if very soon Elliot didn't need him, couldn’t want to keep him… Nikolai still wanted to be worth being known.