What do you think?
Rate this book
This Box of Darkness
I’m eighteen and faced with the most difficult decision of my life:
-- Do I follow my crush to the missionary Bible school of my dreams?
-- Do I go to college with my ex-boyfriend to see if we still have a future?
-- Or do I stay home with my dad who's just been diagnosed with a brain tumor?
Pick one door. Close the others. Live with the fallout.
This Box of Darkness is a raw coming-of-age memoir about love, loss, and learning to trust God. Told through the eyes of Maddie, a pastor’s kid who’s been “saved” for as long as she can remember, it traces the final year of her father’s life: a Marine turned youth pastor and missionary who lived to glorify God, even as brain cancer stripped everything away. Poignant and deeply personal, this memoir explores what it means to wrestle with God when your carefully laid plans completely fall apart.
-- Do I follow my crush to the missionary Bible school of my dreams?
-- Do I go to college with my ex-boyfriend to see if we still have a future?
-- Or do I stay home with my dad who's just been diagnosed with a brain tumor?
Pick one door. Close the others. Live with the fallout.
This Box of Darkness is a raw coming-of-age memoir about love, loss, and learning to trust God. Told through the eyes of Maddie, a pastor’s kid who’s been “saved” for as long as she can remember, it traces the final year of her father’s life: a Marine turned youth pastor and missionary who lived to glorify God, even as brain cancer stripped everything away. Poignant and deeply personal, this memoir explores what it means to wrestle with God when your carefully laid plans completely fall apart.
282 pages, Hardcover
Published October 1, 2025
19 people are currently reading
229 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
October 8, 2025
This was such a well-written memoir, and read like a novel! Such a strong example of faith and courage. This book will make you laugh, cry, and get you thinking about God and His providence. I enjoyed reading it very much!
October 4, 2025
I had the pleasure of reading an advanced copy of this amazing memoir. Considering the subject matter, there was a delightful amount of humor in it. Madeleine did a great job of capturing relatable teen angst and insecurities and bringing her father's dynamic and charismatic personality to life on the page. In short, I loved this book and look forward to the follow-up.
September 30, 2025
*please excuse any spelling and grammar errors as I am still wiping my tears*
I was honored to be chosen to be an ARC reader for this book for Madeleine. When she told me she was writing a book, I was so thrilled for her and excited to read. But this book... will be something that lives rent-free in my heart for a long time. Reading This Box of Darkness was like being handed a LITERAL piece of someone’s soul and being invited to sit with it, raw and unfiltered. It was like taking Maddie's journal, reading the whole thing, getting a magnifying glass, and looking directly into her heart.
As you may have seen from my MANY updates throughout the book, I was captivated from the beginning—sneaking away in small pockets of time just to read a few pages at a time, only to emerge sobbing, smiling big, or holding my chest because of the sheer honesty Madeleine Arnold offers. There were moments I had to pause and just breathe, in awe at the depth of what she’s achieved in telling her story.
Maddie’s journey through love, loss, and wrestling with God’s plans resonated with me on a profoundly personal level. Lately, I’ve been stumbling through prayer, trying to steady myself in my walk with God, but often feeling more lost than found. And I feel like this was the book met me exactly where I was at in order to continue. There were times I felt like I could’ve written the words myself, like she’d pulled them straight out of my own heart. The sections where she reflects on the “little battles”—loving when you don’t feel like it, finding joy when the world feels heavy, practicing self-control when the dopamine hit would be easier, placing trust when you can't imagine the ending being different—all of these landed with such force. Those moments aren’t dramatic, aren’t celebrated, but they are the true measure of faith and character. I found myself thinking, wow, this is exactly what I needed to hear today.
This book arrived for me like a lifeline at just the right time. I laughed, I cried, I paused to pray, and I reread passages, lingering over lines that mirrored my own struggles or offered perspective I hadn’t considered. I pulled my bible out and reread the verses, I turned my spotify on every time a song as mentioned. This is not just a memoir—it’s a mirror, a guide, and a warm, gentle hand on your shoulder, whispering that it’s okay to wrestle, it’s okay to grieve, and it’s more than okay to hope again. An absolute masterpiece.
I wanted to keep this as much to the book as possible but I want to share this because I am lucky enough to know Maddie as a person too, and not just the author. She picked me up out of a very dark place in my life. She has prayed over me, offered me help and resources for healing, she has sat with me when I couldn't (or was afraid to) sit with myself and has been a friend I've been able to talk to without judgment many times over the years. And to get back to the book - one of the most striking parts of Maddie’s story, was her internal dialogue about leaving a legacy as big and bright as her father’s. And oh, Maddie—if he could see you now, he would be bursting with pride. You have left a legacy. The love, the courage, the honesty in this memoir—this is your gift to the world, and it shines just as brightly as Dane's did, in its own unique, unstoppable way. Thank you for sharing it with me. I love you.
If you are on the fence about reading this book, please don’t hesitate. Let it find you. It’s the kind of story that doesn’t just stay on the page—it lingers, it heals, it reminds you that even in the darkest places and when it doesn't feel like it, God is still there. And so are you.
I was honored to be chosen to be an ARC reader for this book for Madeleine. When she told me she was writing a book, I was so thrilled for her and excited to read. But this book... will be something that lives rent-free in my heart for a long time. Reading This Box of Darkness was like being handed a LITERAL piece of someone’s soul and being invited to sit with it, raw and unfiltered. It was like taking Maddie's journal, reading the whole thing, getting a magnifying glass, and looking directly into her heart.
As you may have seen from my MANY updates throughout the book, I was captivated from the beginning—sneaking away in small pockets of time just to read a few pages at a time, only to emerge sobbing, smiling big, or holding my chest because of the sheer honesty Madeleine Arnold offers. There were moments I had to pause and just breathe, in awe at the depth of what she’s achieved in telling her story.
Maddie’s journey through love, loss, and wrestling with God’s plans resonated with me on a profoundly personal level. Lately, I’ve been stumbling through prayer, trying to steady myself in my walk with God, but often feeling more lost than found. And I feel like this was the book met me exactly where I was at in order to continue. There were times I felt like I could’ve written the words myself, like she’d pulled them straight out of my own heart. The sections where she reflects on the “little battles”—loving when you don’t feel like it, finding joy when the world feels heavy, practicing self-control when the dopamine hit would be easier, placing trust when you can't imagine the ending being different—all of these landed with such force. Those moments aren’t dramatic, aren’t celebrated, but they are the true measure of faith and character. I found myself thinking, wow, this is exactly what I needed to hear today.
This book arrived for me like a lifeline at just the right time. I laughed, I cried, I paused to pray, and I reread passages, lingering over lines that mirrored my own struggles or offered perspective I hadn’t considered. I pulled my bible out and reread the verses, I turned my spotify on every time a song as mentioned. This is not just a memoir—it’s a mirror, a guide, and a warm, gentle hand on your shoulder, whispering that it’s okay to wrestle, it’s okay to grieve, and it’s more than okay to hope again. An absolute masterpiece.
I wanted to keep this as much to the book as possible but I want to share this because I am lucky enough to know Maddie as a person too, and not just the author. She picked me up out of a very dark place in my life. She has prayed over me, offered me help and resources for healing, she has sat with me when I couldn't (or was afraid to) sit with myself and has been a friend I've been able to talk to without judgment many times over the years. And to get back to the book - one of the most striking parts of Maddie’s story, was her internal dialogue about leaving a legacy as big and bright as her father’s. And oh, Maddie—if he could see you now, he would be bursting with pride. You have left a legacy. The love, the courage, the honesty in this memoir—this is your gift to the world, and it shines just as brightly as Dane's did, in its own unique, unstoppable way. Thank you for sharing it with me. I love you.
If you are on the fence about reading this book, please don’t hesitate. Let it find you. It’s the kind of story that doesn’t just stay on the page—it lingers, it heals, it reminds you that even in the darkest places and when it doesn't feel like it, God is still there. And so are you.
September 21, 2025
Madeline did an amazing job relating her story. I have never met her (although I feel like I have after reading her book!), just heard of her book from a friend of hers and knew I had to read it. My dad also passed away in 2014 and I found myself crying at several moments in the story because they were so similar to my own. She captured so many details beautifully and with grace and I can’t wait to read her next book!
October 1, 2025
I finished this book in one sitting. While I was on the periphery of the events in this book (one of the youth group kids who loved and was loved by the Burk Family) I would recommend it to anyone whether they are a Christian or not or whether they were there or not. Madeleine was able to write this story in such a way that everyone who reads this book would know exactly the kind of man, father and leader Dane was. I appreciate that Madeleine didn’t hold back. Her writing and storytelling benefits from her raw vulnerability. Her grief is palpable in her writing and throughout this story, but what a privilege it is to share something so powerful that in these pages (or in my audiobook case with Madeline’s own voice!).
This book had my crying, laughing, remembering and praising the Lord.
I will be telling everyone I love to read it.
This book had my crying, laughing, remembering and praising the Lord.
I will be telling everyone I love to read it.
September 20, 2025
Just finished this memoir of someone from my childhood. My first thought finishing it was that I wish could reach out and give the author the biggest hug. She allows the readers to feel every emotion imaginable during a trying time in her life. My next thought was how blessed was I to receive an advanced copy and glimpse into her personal life. I cannot imagine the writing process of this piece and am so grateful to see it come to life. Read this book because her story deserves to be heard.
October 7, 2025
I was honored to read an advanced copy of this memoir as it was being edited, and now I've just finished the audio version read by Maddie herself, and WOW. If I didn't know the author personally, I would be shocked to learn this is her debut book. This is a masterclass in memoirs - Maddie takes us through the story of her dad's diagnosis with stage 4 brain cancer, while seamlessly weaving in her family history and own coming of age experiences, grappling with faith away from home at an intense Christian bible school.
Maddie bears her soul on these pages - everything she writes is exactly how she saw it and felt it at the age of 18, without shying away from the cringe that sometimes comes with those years or editing with hindsight. It's gripping, honest, and raw. Highly recommend to all my fellow readers, and especially to those who love memoirs, coming of age, and human interest. Maddie did an incredible job narrating this story in her own voice, so listening to the audio version just adds in extra element of enjoying this beautiful memoir.
Maddie bears her soul on these pages - everything she writes is exactly how she saw it and felt it at the age of 18, without shying away from the cringe that sometimes comes with those years or editing with hindsight. It's gripping, honest, and raw. Highly recommend to all my fellow readers, and especially to those who love memoirs, coming of age, and human interest. Maddie did an incredible job narrating this story in her own voice, so listening to the audio version just adds in extra element of enjoying this beautiful memoir.
August 22, 2025
I loved this book. it's funny, dramatic, and a great message!
October 12, 2025
My mother could tell you that I’ve never actively picked up a book to read unless it had to do with plants or cooking. Even then, it’s always been somewhat difficult for me to sit down, stay focused, and sit still! But this book—your book—I could not put down.
I’m a slow reader, but honestly, I didn’t even want it to be over. I re-read some parts, highlighted passages that gave me inspiration, touched my heart, or brought me to tears. I even hugged the book several times while crying. So yes, I took my time with it. I couldn’t believe how much I needed to hear your story—to see what was going on behind the Facebook updates back then, and to realize I wasn’t truly alone in navigating a similar journey of college, new friends, love, and losing someone like that…. It is truly a numbing experience.
Maddie, your book came at a time when I’ve been facing a difficult challenge in my personal life. I had just bought a brand-new Bible and a new crucifix, trying to reconnect with the Lord. I’ve never lost my faith—I’ve always believed in Him—but I knew I needed to take a deeper dive and give myself completely to Him. And then, you announced that your book was coming out! I was so excited, because I needed to hear someone else’s story to help me with my own. It felt meant to be. I truly believe that.
“Thank you” doesn’t even begin to cover what you’ve given the world. Your vulnerability is breathtaking. Your honesty and the way you wear your heart on your sleeve are so refreshing and warm. Finally—some real, genuine honesty again. Someone brave enough to tell their truth.
Your father is proud. I can feel it. And the Lord is proud, too! You’ve lifted my spirits and inspired me once again. So if you ever wonder whether it was all worth it, I hope you know that it absolutely is.
To anyone reading these reviews, trying to decide if this is the book for you—just know that it is. You need to read this. Please, read Maddie’s book. You will be moved. You will be changed for the better. And you will be touched by the hand of the Lord through her words.
I’m a slow reader, but honestly, I didn’t even want it to be over. I re-read some parts, highlighted passages that gave me inspiration, touched my heart, or brought me to tears. I even hugged the book several times while crying. So yes, I took my time with it. I couldn’t believe how much I needed to hear your story—to see what was going on behind the Facebook updates back then, and to realize I wasn’t truly alone in navigating a similar journey of college, new friends, love, and losing someone like that…. It is truly a numbing experience.
Maddie, your book came at a time when I’ve been facing a difficult challenge in my personal life. I had just bought a brand-new Bible and a new crucifix, trying to reconnect with the Lord. I’ve never lost my faith—I’ve always believed in Him—but I knew I needed to take a deeper dive and give myself completely to Him. And then, you announced that your book was coming out! I was so excited, because I needed to hear someone else’s story to help me with my own. It felt meant to be. I truly believe that.
“Thank you” doesn’t even begin to cover what you’ve given the world. Your vulnerability is breathtaking. Your honesty and the way you wear your heart on your sleeve are so refreshing and warm. Finally—some real, genuine honesty again. Someone brave enough to tell their truth.
Your father is proud. I can feel it. And the Lord is proud, too! You’ve lifted my spirits and inspired me once again. So if you ever wonder whether it was all worth it, I hope you know that it absolutely is.
To anyone reading these reviews, trying to decide if this is the book for you—just know that it is. You need to read this. Please, read Maddie’s book. You will be moved. You will be changed for the better. And you will be touched by the hand of the Lord through her words.
November 8, 2025
Such a beautifully written memoir! Of all the books I’ve read this year this one really sticks out in my mind. Highly recommend reading it!!
October 11, 2025
This book was raw and honest. Dane was one of a kind, so it’s only fitting that his daughter would be too. Maddie’s writing was made so much more real knowing so many people involved, knowing the places. Feeling all the feels as a former BMW student and staff member whose life was changed by knowing her dad. Dane’s legacy lives on through the lives of his family and all the people that he touched. Read it in one afternoon!
September 29, 2025
Madeleine, I really appreciated listening to the audiobook read in your own voice even though I don't know you personally. Your vulnerability added to all of the emotions in the story. I had to stop myself from stalking facebook for spoilers. I worked with your mom, so I knew the basics, but the way you told the story, I found myself wanting to know more about each person. I look forward to your future books and pray that you and your family and friends continue to be blessed in your memories of your Dad and in your shared faith.
September 26, 2025
I laughed. I cried. I’m amazed at the beautiful retelling of such a difficult time in Maddie’s life. I have nothing but wonderful things to say for Maddie’s first book. Everyone should read this masterpiece.
November 15, 2025
I truly could not put this book down. I felt so many emotions while reading and felt so connected to madeleine and her journey throughout the entire book.
Read
August 21, 2025When Madeleine told me her vision of writing her story, I knew something truly beautiful was unfolding. In finding her voice, she has also given voice to so many others with similar back stories. In walking her journey of heartbreak, family tragedy, triumph, and faith, she lays out her life with raw vulnerability. Her book is a quiet challenge to trust God more deeply, still in the seasons of brokenness.
October 13, 2025
Wow. Tears. Maddie, girl, you are incredible. Strong. Beautiful. Wise. I’ve lived in deep depression for years, and got sick of fighting a long time ago, but this story, it pulled on my heart and showed me there’s so much more to fight for. The vulnerability this story took to share was so encouraging and life giving. Since China 2012 at TMI, I’ve had a back row seat into your story via facebook. I’ve seen little bits and pieces. I watched and prayed from far away and watched your faith stay strong in the face of things I couldn’t even imagine. As my faith slipped away, I watched yours, steady, sure, unwavering, but didn’t really know the deepest parts of it. Almost 15 Years later here I am working my way through my own “church trauma” and pain believers have caused me, and to be invited into the deepest tragedy in such a vulnerable and beautiful way, it’s healed something inside of me. I’m working on finding Jesus in who he is and this story showed me so much about him. About how he can and does and will continue to move when hearts are open and when we seek him out. I opened my bible with intention every morning since beginning to listen and I’ve had a new des to hear his voice to be open to God again. Thank you 💛💛
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 7, 2025
Beautiful, Honest, and Faith-Filled ~ a MUST read!
This Box of Darkness is an extraordinary memoir that moved me deeply. Maddie Arnold writes with such honesty, grace, and emotional depth as she shares her journey of coming of age, first love, and walking alongside her beloved father through his battle with brain cancer. Maddie’s faith shines through every page — a beautiful testimony of God’s steadfast presence and how He can bring hope and purpose from even the darkest seasons of our lives.
As someone who has known Maddie and her family for over 20 years and witnessed their walk through this wilderness, reading her perspective was profoundly touching. Her words are both tender and powerful, reminding readers of the hope and healing that come from trusting God and resting in who He is! This book is incredibly engaging, beautifully written, and an absolute gift to anyone who has faced loss, love, or longing for redemption.
This Box of Darkness is an extraordinary memoir that moved me deeply. Maddie Arnold writes with such honesty, grace, and emotional depth as she shares her journey of coming of age, first love, and walking alongside her beloved father through his battle with brain cancer. Maddie’s faith shines through every page — a beautiful testimony of God’s steadfast presence and how He can bring hope and purpose from even the darkest seasons of our lives.
As someone who has known Maddie and her family for over 20 years and witnessed their walk through this wilderness, reading her perspective was profoundly touching. Her words are both tender and powerful, reminding readers of the hope and healing that come from trusting God and resting in who He is! This book is incredibly engaging, beautifully written, and an absolute gift to anyone who has faced loss, love, or longing for redemption.
September 27, 2025
This book I could not put down. Immediately, you are pulled into Maddie’s world and cannot wait to read what happens next. It is an emotional story but inspires trust in the Lord and faith in his ultimate plan. It challenged me to: ask questions about my own life and hope that I could respond in a way that glorifies God, to be kind and patient because you don’t know what your neighbor could be going through, and to pray without ceasing because your journey in this life is all about your relationship with Jesus. Maddie expresses her story with wit, and detailed description that has you feeling like you are right there in the story with her. You finish it feeling like you just had an awesome date with your friend hearing her testimony of her life at the time.
October 16, 2025
This book is for every daddy's girl who longs for the day she can be reunited with her daddy. I thank God for the testimony of the father daughter relationship told in these pages. I related to what was shared to a deeper level than words can even express. We all go through trials, and we have the choice whether we will keep walking with God in the difficulties of life, but a father's greatest joy is to witness his children continuing to walk with God no matter what. To my own Dad, who left this world so unexpectedly, I love you. To my Heavenly Father, thank you for this book and for the daddy's girl who wrote it. I read it in a day because I wanted to know what happened just as much as I knew what would happen because it is the same circumstance that happens to us all.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 22, 2025
It felt like reading Maddie’s journal through the most trying time of her life, a time that is relatable to all of us—moving away from home, navigating relationships and faith on our own for the first time; and Maddie is faced with devastating news on top of that. It’s a real story with real emotions and questions wrestling with God about life and love and who God really is. It’s GRIPPING and I couldn’t put it down. I found myself in tears all throughout the book! Highly recommend.
October 4, 2025
This Box of Darkness is a heartfelt memoir that blends faith, resilience, and hope. Madeleine Arnold’s honest storytelling, sprinkled with humor and raw emotion, vividly captures her journey through grief and tough choices. Her father’s steadfast trust in God radiates as a powerful example, making this an inspiring read for anyone facing life’s challenges. A quick, moving book you’ll want to share!
October 12, 2025
This memoir is an incredibly accurate depiction of many things I also experienced as a young person-the confusion of figuring out relationships, faith, different beliefs, God’s will and what place He will hold in our lives, etc, etc. It hit so close to home. Thank you to the author for sharing all the raw details. She is an excellent writer! I enjoyed every second of it (even the parts that were painful to hear).
October 8, 2025
I’m in the midst of reading Maddie’s book and I am just taken back by her honesty, vulnerability, and ability to tell the truth in the midst of such pain. A powerful story of her love for Jesus, her Dad, and her desire to follow the Lord’s calling on her life. So inspiring! Check it out for yourself!!
November 12, 2025
Amazing! Deeply moving story of friendship, family, faith, a father daughter relationship that transcends time, and finding peace in the face of the inevitable. Read it all in one sitting. Couldn’t recommend more.
January 3, 2026
A quick read. Ultra-relatable references which will be highly enjoyable especially for the ‘90s church kid.
I was left a little less than satisfied. I was hoping for something more conclusive, after lessons/growth/maturity/(and maybe also a certain relationship or two) to be shared. However, I expect there will be more as it appears this is #1 in the All for Jesus series?, and I will likely read following books as they are released.
I was left a little less than satisfied. I was hoping for something more conclusive, after lessons/growth/maturity/(and maybe also a certain relationship or two) to be shared. However, I expect there will be more as it appears this is #1 in the All for Jesus series?, and I will likely read following books as they are released.
August 18, 2025
Have your hanky ready. This is a poignant tale of love, life and death. Your emotions will get a thrill ride. Excellent book about a difficult subject
August 19, 2025
This book is just beautiful. It pulls on the heart strings and portrays an incredible story with Jesus at the center of it. I love it!
January 12, 2026
*Listened on Audio* Author narrated-Really enjoyed her memoir. Beautifully written and what a cliff hanger...I want to know what happened next!
Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews