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UnSlut: A Diary and a Memoir
When Emily Lindin was eleven years old, she was branded a “slut” by the rest of her classmates. For the next few years of her life, she was bullied incessantly at school, after school, and online. At the time, Emily didn’t feel comfortable confiding in her parents or in the other adults in her life. But she did keep a diary.
UnSlut presents that diary, word for word, with split-page commentary to provide context and perspective. This unique diary and memoir sheds light on the important issues of sexual bullying, slut-shaming, and the murky mores of adolescent sexual development. Readers will see themselves in Emily’s story—whether as the bully, the shamed, or the passive bystander. This book also includes advice and commentary from a variety of distinguished experts.
UnSlut presents that diary, word for word, with split-page commentary to provide context and perspective. This unique diary and memoir sheds light on the important issues of sexual bullying, slut-shaming, and the murky mores of adolescent sexual development. Readers will see themselves in Emily’s story—whether as the bully, the shamed, or the passive bystander. This book also includes advice and commentary from a variety of distinguished experts.
272 pages, Hardcover
First published October 6, 2015
25 people are currently reading
888 people want to read
About the author
Emily Lindin
4 books18 followersEmily Lindin is the author of the new book
UnSlut: A Diary and a Memoir
and founder of The UnSlut Project, an online community where survivors of sexual bullying and "slut" shaming can share their stories, and where girls who are currently suffering can find support and solidarity. When she was eleven years old, Emily was labeled a "slut" by her classmates and was bullied at school, after school, and online. During all this, she kept a regular diary. Now a Harvard graduate pursuing her PhD in California, Emily started The UnSlut Project by blogging her own middle school diaries. Emily is also the director of
UnSlut: A Documentary Film,
which is currently screening at universities, community centers, and theaters around North America. Emily has been featured sharing her story and speaking out against "slut" shaming on television and radio shows including ABC with Katie Couric, CNN with Brooke Baldwin, The Doctors, Al Jazeera America, and HLN; and in many magazines and blogs including Women's Health Magazine, Glamour UK, Salon.com, The Telegraph, The New Statesman, This Magazine, The Huffington Post, and The Observer.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 93 reviews
January 23, 2016
4.5 rounded up.
This was a really important read for me. Before I talk too much about the book, I am going to talk a bit about myself. I tried keeping a hand-written diary when I was in middle school, but after it went missing and mysteriously showed up in my parents' closet, I refused to put anything on paper. I turned to the internet - an unknown wilderness to my parents. I felt way more secure putting my deepest, darkest thoughts online, so I signed up for an online journal. (I went through several sites before finally settling on LiveJournal, and I will even admit that I've written in it as recently December of last year.)
UnSlut was very timely for me, as I recently reread my old online journals and cringed at teenage me. Seriously, I was awful. I was embarrassingly guilty of slut-shaming. To be clear, I was not a bully. I did not treat people the way Emily Lindin was treated. I did, however, use my online journal as a place to vent about people, mainly my female friends, by calling them sluts and whores. When I read it now, I get so upset and ashamed. I wanted to delete it (because, amazingly, I still remember the login information for nearly all of my online stuff despite it being there for over 15 years), but I decided instead to change the privacy so only I could see it and use it as an important reminder of how I have grown and developed as a person.
This book struck a chord with me on several levels. Because my middle school journals are still currently fresh in my mind, I saw a lot of myself in her. I thankfully did not experience the sexual bullying that she did, but I still feel as though middle school me could have related to middle school her. Lindin is only a year or so older than I am, so all of the references definitely took me right on back to middle school (though I admit that my musical tastes greatly differed back then). Also, the names she used for her friends (the diary is real, but she explains in the foreword that all names have been changed) were pretty much the names of all of my friends, so it was kind of trippy to read. There were a few lines from her diary moaning about friends that probably exist verbatim in mine.
I appreciate that she put notes along the side of the diary throughout writing as adult Emily reflecting on middle school Emily. When I would get upset about something and almost feel the need to respond to it (for example, ), I would see that Emily added a note in there saying pretty much the very same thing. It is crucial for young people reading this to see that so many things that were said and done were flat out wrong, and I am glad that Emily addresses it. She acknowledged that she said and did some pretty terrible things (such as using 'gay' and 'retarded' as slurs) and explained that she realized later in life how wrong it was to do so. I am almost tempted to edit my online journal entries with the same sort of self-aware notes. I like that, other than changing identifying information of the people in her diary, it was kept intact. I would be SO tempted to edit the crap out of mine if I ever tried to publish it, so it is good that she put it all out there.
This book is not going to be for everyone. It is literally the diary of a middle school girl. If that doesn't sound like your cup of tea, you may not want to delve into it. I do believe, though, that this book should be on the shelf of every single middle school library in the county. Teachers should assign it as the first book of sixth grade as a sort of cautionary tale. This is a story that needs to be told. People need to stop calling women sluts and shaming them for their sexuality. In order to do that, you really need to nip it in the bud when it starts. Middle school is that critical period of sexual, emotional, and societal development, and it is far too easy for slut-shaming to become an ingrained habit by the age of 11 or 12. Education is key, and I think speaking to preteens in their own language is the way to do it.
After reading this, I realized that I would be interested in reading other memoirs in this style. It almost seems slightly invasive, but since I was the beginning of the online journal generation (which involved allowing my online friends access to my deepest, darkest thoughts), I guess it makes since that I am naturally drawn to it.
Like I said - not for everyone, but it is important and I will be recommending it!
This was a really important read for me. Before I talk too much about the book, I am going to talk a bit about myself. I tried keeping a hand-written diary when I was in middle school, but after it went missing and mysteriously showed up in my parents' closet, I refused to put anything on paper. I turned to the internet - an unknown wilderness to my parents. I felt way more secure putting my deepest, darkest thoughts online, so I signed up for an online journal. (I went through several sites before finally settling on LiveJournal, and I will even admit that I've written in it as recently December of last year.)
UnSlut was very timely for me, as I recently reread my old online journals and cringed at teenage me. Seriously, I was awful. I was embarrassingly guilty of slut-shaming. To be clear, I was not a bully. I did not treat people the way Emily Lindin was treated. I did, however, use my online journal as a place to vent about people, mainly my female friends, by calling them sluts and whores. When I read it now, I get so upset and ashamed. I wanted to delete it (because, amazingly, I still remember the login information for nearly all of my online stuff despite it being there for over 15 years), but I decided instead to change the privacy so only I could see it and use it as an important reminder of how I have grown and developed as a person.
This book struck a chord with me on several levels. Because my middle school journals are still currently fresh in my mind, I saw a lot of myself in her. I thankfully did not experience the sexual bullying that she did, but I still feel as though middle school me could have related to middle school her. Lindin is only a year or so older than I am, so all of the references definitely took me right on back to middle school (though I admit that my musical tastes greatly differed back then). Also, the names she used for her friends (the diary is real, but she explains in the foreword that all names have been changed) were pretty much the names of all of my friends, so it was kind of trippy to read. There were a few lines from her diary moaning about friends that probably exist verbatim in mine.
I appreciate that she put notes along the side of the diary throughout writing as adult Emily reflecting on middle school Emily. When I would get upset about something and almost feel the need to respond to it (for example, ), I would see that Emily added a note in there saying pretty much the very same thing. It is crucial for young people reading this to see that so many things that were said and done were flat out wrong, and I am glad that Emily addresses it. She acknowledged that she said and did some pretty terrible things (such as using 'gay' and 'retarded' as slurs) and explained that she realized later in life how wrong it was to do so. I am almost tempted to edit my online journal entries with the same sort of self-aware notes. I like that, other than changing identifying information of the people in her diary, it was kept intact. I would be SO tempted to edit the crap out of mine if I ever tried to publish it, so it is good that she put it all out there.
This book is not going to be for everyone. It is literally the diary of a middle school girl. If that doesn't sound like your cup of tea, you may not want to delve into it. I do believe, though, that this book should be on the shelf of every single middle school library in the county. Teachers should assign it as the first book of sixth grade as a sort of cautionary tale. This is a story that needs to be told. People need to stop calling women sluts and shaming them for their sexuality. In order to do that, you really need to nip it in the bud when it starts. Middle school is that critical period of sexual, emotional, and societal development, and it is far too easy for slut-shaming to become an ingrained habit by the age of 11 or 12. Education is key, and I think speaking to preteens in their own language is the way to do it.
After reading this, I realized that I would be interested in reading other memoirs in this style. It almost seems slightly invasive, but since I was the beginning of the online journal generation (which involved allowing my online friends access to my deepest, darkest thoughts), I guess it makes since that I am naturally drawn to it.
Like I said - not for everyone, but it is important and I will be recommending it!
February 15, 2016
Edited review below:
Emily Linden is either the bravest woman or the dumbest. It is brave to think you could transcribe your middle school diary & be celebrated. She is dumb to think it wouldn't matter. Emily may also be a far better person than I ever will be.
What makes this book is powerful is not just the fact she transcribed her middle school diary so you can watch her deal with the slut shaming, but also the fact that "Future Emily" is annotating the diary. It takes the whole "what you would say to your 13-year-old self" though exercise to the next level. Future Emily is remarking not only on the lingo of middle school from the turn of the century, but also talking her middle school self down when she starts to slut shame herself. Take for example when Emily is walking with friends and a guy she is not dating grabs her breast. She writes furiously how sorry she is that she cheated. Future Emily is having none of it.
Moments like that will strike a chord with every girl who was every slut shamed and still carries around scars. This means that if you still do, I warn you that you may flashback to those moments in the hallway when that guy who always put his hand on your butt and you could never find a way to stop it. Or you reflect back on why you could never find the right words to say, "No," because as Emily puts it, sometimes there is social power in just letting things happen.
Full Review & Giveaway at VivalaFeminista.
Emily Linden is either the bravest woman or the dumbest. It is brave to think you could transcribe your middle school diary & be celebrated. She is dumb to think it wouldn't matter. Emily may also be a far better person than I ever will be.
What makes this book is powerful is not just the fact she transcribed her middle school diary so you can watch her deal with the slut shaming, but also the fact that "Future Emily" is annotating the diary. It takes the whole "what you would say to your 13-year-old self" though exercise to the next level. Future Emily is remarking not only on the lingo of middle school from the turn of the century, but also talking her middle school self down when she starts to slut shame herself. Take for example when Emily is walking with friends and a guy she is not dating grabs her breast. She writes furiously how sorry she is that she cheated. Future Emily is having none of it.
Moments like that will strike a chord with every girl who was every slut shamed and still carries around scars. This means that if you still do, I warn you that you may flashback to those moments in the hallway when that guy who always put his hand on your butt and you could never find a way to stop it. Or you reflect back on why you could never find the right words to say, "No," because as Emily puts it, sometimes there is social power in just letting things happen.
Full Review & Giveaway at VivalaFeminista.
March 21, 2016
The idea of this book intrigued me. The author was bullied, witnessed bullying, and sometimes participated in bullying, from the age of 11. She was branded a "slut" (at age 11) and for years could not overcome that label. But she did keep a diary during those years, and, after re-reading her pre-teen diaries years later, decided to publish them in a blog with the hope of helping other young girls (and boys) to overcome the trauma of slut-shaming and sexual bullying. Her blog, "The Un-Slut Project", "Un-Slut: A Documentary Film", and this book, are all the result of her efforts to help young people.
Her diaries begin at age 11, and are published pretty much verbatim, with a little clean-up and removal of any trace of her and her friends' actual identities. Alongside the actual diary text she includes her own adult responses to what she is reading.
I decided not to try to finish the book, for a couple of reasons. First and foremost, it brought back too many junior-high school memories (no, I was not bullied) with it's pre-teen girl view of the world. Ugh. I'm so glad I threw out my teenage diaries. Also, I imagine this book is meant for a Young Adult audience, even though her commentary is probably above the level of understanding for that audience (maybe I am underestimating them. This is, after all, a different era).
That being said, I applaud her for putting this out into the world in an effort to help others.
Her diaries begin at age 11, and are published pretty much verbatim, with a little clean-up and removal of any trace of her and her friends' actual identities. Alongside the actual diary text she includes her own adult responses to what she is reading.
I decided not to try to finish the book, for a couple of reasons. First and foremost, it brought back too many junior-high school memories (no, I was not bullied) with it's pre-teen girl view of the world. Ugh. I'm so glad I threw out my teenage diaries. Also, I imagine this book is meant for a Young Adult audience, even though her commentary is probably above the level of understanding for that audience (maybe I am underestimating them. This is, after all, a different era).
That being said, I applaud her for putting this out into the world in an effort to help others.
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November 22, 2017"Here's an unpopular opinion: I'm actually not at all concerned about innocent men losing their jobs over false sexual assault/harassment allegations"
Emily Lindin.
https://twitter.com/MsBlaireWhite/sta...
Emily Lindin.
https://twitter.com/MsBlaireWhite/sta...
February 22, 2016
UnSlut: A Diary and a Memoir by Emily Lindin is a published diary of Lindin’s time in middle school and how she, and many other of her female classmates, were labeled as “sluts”. The diary is accompanied by now-Lindin’s comments; explanations of the behaviors of those around her in the years of middle school, and explanations of how a young girl’s mind is warped into thinking that being a considered a slut is better than not being considered anything at all. This book was published following Lindin’s online success of the UnSlut Project; a project the allows girls everywhere to share and relate their stories to one another and bond against the fight that is slut shaming.
As a woman who has gone through the confusing time that is middle school, I was at first in disbelief at all the things Lindin and her classmates went through. Such events never happened to me and my friends at such a young age. However, when I thought about it, I couldn’t say that just because I didn’t go through it, that doesn’t mean my other classmates didn’t. In fact, I can distinctly remember rumors that would float around that were similar to those that floated around in Lindin’s time. I was just never directly involved in them. To realize that girls went through things like slut shaming, let alone in middle school, absolutely disgusted me. And the evidence that Lindin displayed of her younger self thinking it was all normal disgusted me even more.
Lindin’s published diary certainly showed the mistakes we make in raising boys and girls. To teach boys that it’s okay to grab a girl’s breast and then to have the girl feel like she needs to apologize to her boyfriend for it is really upsetting. The assaults these boys committed against Emily and her friends made them think that since they were labeled as sluts, they deserved it or that the boys were entitled to do whatever they wanted with the girls’ bodies. Girls begin to think and learn that their bodies are objects for boys to claim whenever they want since “boys will be boys”. To think that this was going on in the years I was in middle school, and in middle schools everywhere was horrifying to me.
That being said, Lindin’s account of her middle school days is an excellent example of how boys need to be taught that girls’ bodies are not for their pleasure, and girls need to be taught that their body is a sanctuary that is for them and only them; any verbal or physical assault made against them is not their fault. Teachers and parents should be more aware of what’s going on in the lives of the children they love and know.
The published account of Lindin’s diaries, however, could certainly have been shorter. There was no need to include every entry, only those that seemed important to the message she was trying to convey. The message certainly reached me, but as a reader, I recognized that there were some entries and some comments from Lindin herself that could have been left out.
Overall, however, this account of Lindin’s middle school days is an excellent example of the issues women face at any and every age. It is eye-opening, and certainly an important read; especially for girls AND boys who are at this age. As Lindin says at the end of the publication, we can only hope for a world where the word “slut” is no longer recognized. Working towards that goal is what’s most important.
Final Rating: 4/5 stars
As a woman who has gone through the confusing time that is middle school, I was at first in disbelief at all the things Lindin and her classmates went through. Such events never happened to me and my friends at such a young age. However, when I thought about it, I couldn’t say that just because I didn’t go through it, that doesn’t mean my other classmates didn’t. In fact, I can distinctly remember rumors that would float around that were similar to those that floated around in Lindin’s time. I was just never directly involved in them. To realize that girls went through things like slut shaming, let alone in middle school, absolutely disgusted me. And the evidence that Lindin displayed of her younger self thinking it was all normal disgusted me even more.
Lindin’s published diary certainly showed the mistakes we make in raising boys and girls. To teach boys that it’s okay to grab a girl’s breast and then to have the girl feel like she needs to apologize to her boyfriend for it is really upsetting. The assaults these boys committed against Emily and her friends made them think that since they were labeled as sluts, they deserved it or that the boys were entitled to do whatever they wanted with the girls’ bodies. Girls begin to think and learn that their bodies are objects for boys to claim whenever they want since “boys will be boys”. To think that this was going on in the years I was in middle school, and in middle schools everywhere was horrifying to me.
That being said, Lindin’s account of her middle school days is an excellent example of how boys need to be taught that girls’ bodies are not for their pleasure, and girls need to be taught that their body is a sanctuary that is for them and only them; any verbal or physical assault made against them is not their fault. Teachers and parents should be more aware of what’s going on in the lives of the children they love and know.
The published account of Lindin’s diaries, however, could certainly have been shorter. There was no need to include every entry, only those that seemed important to the message she was trying to convey. The message certainly reached me, but as a reader, I recognized that there were some entries and some comments from Lindin herself that could have been left out.
Overall, however, this account of Lindin’s middle school days is an excellent example of the issues women face at any and every age. It is eye-opening, and certainly an important read; especially for girls AND boys who are at this age. As Lindin says at the end of the publication, we can only hope for a world where the word “slut” is no longer recognized. Working towards that goal is what’s most important.
Final Rating: 4/5 stars
January 22, 2024
So many flashbacks while reading this book, it makes me want to go through my old diaries from when I was in middle and high school. Adolescence it such a roller coaster and I could identify with so much in this-- the attempts at dark poetry, the emotions and the infatuations and crushes, along with the hyper fixation on the relationships of everyone around you. Thank god I am not a teen. But also-- so much compassion for those going through growt.
February 18, 2016
This book was interminable. The diary entries suggested that Emily was fine with being labeled a "slut" and didn't go into any discussion about how that felt. The notations by the now-grown Emily did not help or shed any light on the issue at all. Yes, Emily's "friends" unjustifiably labeled her a slut and continued to slut-shame her throughout middle school but there was nothing that made me really feel for her either as an 11-year-old or as an adult.
October 24, 2018
RATING: 4.5/5 stars
I stumbled across this book as an audiobook on my library's website. Going into it I did not realise that it was a real account of Emily Lindin's middle school years. Overall it was a really empowering book to read, but to also see how different parts of the story were both unfamiliar and others familiar experiences.
I stumbled across this book as an audiobook on my library's website. Going into it I did not realise that it was a real account of Emily Lindin's middle school years. Overall it was a really empowering book to read, but to also see how different parts of the story were both unfamiliar and others familiar experiences.
September 3, 2020
3.5
ahhh I want to love this, but I have so many thoughts. First, I think it was an important read. It made me realize exactly how slut-shamey I was in middle school. Seeing Emily present herself as both victim and bully, often at the same time, without making the connection that she was being victimized or in turn victimizing others, made me reflect on a lot, and for that I'm grateful. However, parts of this book simply don't sit well with me. Older Emily interjects a lot to expand on the diary entries, which doesn't typically bother me, but some of her comments are too harsh. She calls her eleven/twelve year old self dramatic for (kind of spoiler but not really because this is mentioned in the intro) for self harming as a result of bullying and sexual assault. Older Emily continually makes hateful comments toward her middle school self, claiming that most of what she did was for attention. This book certainly gave me a lot to think about.
ahhh I want to love this, but I have so many thoughts. First, I think it was an important read. It made me realize exactly how slut-shamey I was in middle school. Seeing Emily present herself as both victim and bully, often at the same time, without making the connection that she was being victimized or in turn victimizing others, made me reflect on a lot, and for that I'm grateful. However, parts of this book simply don't sit well with me. Older Emily interjects a lot to expand on the diary entries, which doesn't typically bother me, but some of her comments are too harsh. She calls her eleven/twelve year old self dramatic for (kind of spoiler but not really because this is mentioned in the intro) for self harming as a result of bullying and sexual assault. Older Emily continually makes hateful comments toward her middle school self, claiming that most of what she did was for attention. This book certainly gave me a lot to think about.
March 29, 2019
This was so great!!! I loved how it altered between diary entries of Emily when she was 11 onwards, and herself at the present time. She was able to reflect on her adolescent thoughts and the actions of herself and peers through an adult frame of mind. It was so good, as I found a lot of the things that happened relateable, and I guess I and never thought of them through that headspace, as I guess I’ve never looked back at those years in my life. It’s so sad that it’s the way in which the world works, and the attitudes towards woman are shaped at such a young age. Definitely recommend!
December 7, 2017
Emily is in middle school, and through her diary entrees we can see her feelings and emotions from dealing with bullying, relationships, school, and slut shaming. In sixth grade Emily was first given the label slut after she stating dating her first boyfriend Zach. Throughout middle school the sexual harassment gets worse as more people objectify her for the label she's been given. We read about each detailed incidents, good and bad, that Emily goes through with the people in her life. This book was released as apart of the 'Unslut Project' which was started online to help girls and women all over the world have an outlet to share their stories and advice to other women who have gone through similar experiences. I found this to be a very good book, and I really liked the message it was spreading. Although parts of the book were slow and seemed to be repetetive, it made sense considering the diary was written when Emily was only in middle school, and that the book wasn't meant to be published at that age. I also enjoyed how the current older Emily adds her thoughts about what she wrote in her diary from middle school. It added a lot of humor and deep thoughts. Overall I highly recommend this book.
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November 7, 2015I'm not sure who this book is for or what the purpose of it is. It says on the cover that it's a diary and memoir, I expected it to be a more equal split between the two with commentary from Emily Lindin about how she felt while going through her junior high school experience and how she feels looking back on it now.
The adult "memoir" portion of the book is very light and the childhood journal is difficult to read, not because of the sexual behavior of the teens involved but because of the shallow immature boy-crazy content. I have a teenage daughter who's in eighth grade and as I'm reading this I'm trying to reconcile what I know of her experiences and what this book describes. I think that my own middle school experience was more similar to the authors than my daughter's is. That may be due to the regional culture where we grew up, the school size or just the group of friends that each of us chose to spend time with.
I think the whole slut shaming issue is tricky, no kids wants to admit to an adult that they made a sexual mistake with someone, let alone that that they are being bullied for it. I want to be able to talk with my kids about these issues, I want to be able to have an open dialogue about these hard to talk about things. Unfortunately this book is not going to help me do that.
I think anytime you bring people together to talk about issues that have an affect on mental health and well being it's a good thing. So the author has my respect for doing that and creating a blog where people can share their experiences. Maybe this book will resonate with high school students and other young people who have survived middle school and can relate with the author's experience. I had a difficult time seeing the reading experience as worthwhile.
I would recommend interested readers check out the book from their local library rather than investing their money in purchasing a copy of the book.
But the blog is a very different animal and the stories that are shared there are important and generate conversation about young women's sexual experiences and perceptions.
Thank you to the Amazon Vine program and Zest books for the advanced reader's copy.
The adult "memoir" portion of the book is very light and the childhood journal is difficult to read, not because of the sexual behavior of the teens involved but because of the shallow immature boy-crazy content. I have a teenage daughter who's in eighth grade and as I'm reading this I'm trying to reconcile what I know of her experiences and what this book describes. I think that my own middle school experience was more similar to the authors than my daughter's is. That may be due to the regional culture where we grew up, the school size or just the group of friends that each of us chose to spend time with.
I think the whole slut shaming issue is tricky, no kids wants to admit to an adult that they made a sexual mistake with someone, let alone that that they are being bullied for it. I want to be able to talk with my kids about these issues, I want to be able to have an open dialogue about these hard to talk about things. Unfortunately this book is not going to help me do that.
I think anytime you bring people together to talk about issues that have an affect on mental health and well being it's a good thing. So the author has my respect for doing that and creating a blog where people can share their experiences. Maybe this book will resonate with high school students and other young people who have survived middle school and can relate with the author's experience. I had a difficult time seeing the reading experience as worthwhile.
I would recommend interested readers check out the book from their local library rather than investing their money in purchasing a copy of the book.
But the blog is a very different animal and the stories that are shared there are important and generate conversation about young women's sexual experiences and perceptions.
Thank you to the Amazon Vine program and Zest books for the advanced reader's copy.
March 5, 2016
Reviewed for Foreword Books Indiefab Awards.
I don't want to take away from the message of this book, because it's very important. I even caught myself a few times thinking how "boy will be boys", then realizing that I was playing into the very problem the author is addressing.
However, no matter how important the author's message is, this book is extremely unenjoyable. The diary part itself makes sense: it's a tween/teen writing about her everyday life, and we expect there to be more than a fair share of angst. What we don't expect is that the author's modern commentary will be similarly angst-ridden at the best of times, but more often than not simply inane. She does make the occasional good point, which is important to her message, but she feels the need to comment at least once per page, no matter how irrelevant and unnecessary her comments are. Do we really need to know that she is nostalgic for the word "dis"? Do we need to know how much she loved fruit Coolattas? Or how much fun trampolines are/were? Those examples are literally from the first three pages I turned to; I can likely find something inane on 75% of the pages in this book.
Long story short: the message behind this book is highly relevant and important, but the author's presentation does more to annoy than to engage in this topic.
I don't want to take away from the message of this book, because it's very important. I even caught myself a few times thinking how "boy will be boys", then realizing that I was playing into the very problem the author is addressing.
However, no matter how important the author's message is, this book is extremely unenjoyable. The diary part itself makes sense: it's a tween/teen writing about her everyday life, and we expect there to be more than a fair share of angst. What we don't expect is that the author's modern commentary will be similarly angst-ridden at the best of times, but more often than not simply inane. She does make the occasional good point, which is important to her message, but she feels the need to comment at least once per page, no matter how irrelevant and unnecessary her comments are. Do we really need to know that she is nostalgic for the word "dis"? Do we need to know how much she loved fruit Coolattas? Or how much fun trampolines are/were? Those examples are literally from the first three pages I turned to; I can likely find something inane on 75% of the pages in this book.
Long story short: the message behind this book is highly relevant and important, but the author's presentation does more to annoy than to engage in this topic.
April 4, 2016
Every parent of a girl should read this book. And if your daughter is a teenager, I would encourage you to read the book together and then discuss it. Emily Lindin's diary could have been my own middle school diary. While I didn't have her exact same experiences and didn't experience slut shaming as she did, the way she felt about her body, the ownership of her body and the way it was viewed by others was stunningly familiar.
UnSlut wasn't an easy read, but it's not meant to be. It's meant to challenge us to help young women see their bodies differently and take ownership of them.
As a parent who chose to homeschool her daughters in middle school, this book made me so grateful to have had my girls in a non-traditional school setting during the pivotal years of adolescence. That experience allowed them time and space to determine who they were independent of others' views of them. They were then more equipped to deal with external inputs by high school and have a much healthier self-image than I did at their ages.
My two teenage daughters are reading or have read this book. I can't wait for daughter #2 to finish the book so that we can all discuss it more fully. I'm grateful to Emily Lindin for her willingness to open her middle school heart to the world in hopes it will teach us new ways to talk about and teach our daughters about their bodies and their sexuality.
UnSlut wasn't an easy read, but it's not meant to be. It's meant to challenge us to help young women see their bodies differently and take ownership of them.
As a parent who chose to homeschool her daughters in middle school, this book made me so grateful to have had my girls in a non-traditional school setting during the pivotal years of adolescence. That experience allowed them time and space to determine who they were independent of others' views of them. They were then more equipped to deal with external inputs by high school and have a much healthier self-image than I did at their ages.
My two teenage daughters are reading or have read this book. I can't wait for daughter #2 to finish the book so that we can all discuss it more fully. I'm grateful to Emily Lindin for her willingness to open her middle school heart to the world in hopes it will teach us new ways to talk about and teach our daughters about their bodies and their sexuality.
December 4, 2023
As a 37 year old man, I am not this books intended audience. I'm glad I read the first half, because it definitely gave me insights into what other kids were (and weren't doing) when I was growing up. I always felt really alone and isolated growing up on the outskirts of a tiny town. The nearest kid was miles away from my home, so I spent the majority of my time by myself. I always wondered if the kids in town were having a lot more fun than me.
I know that everyone's childhood is unique and people in town can be just as lonely as people in the country, but man this book makes me glad I'm not a child anymore and that I didn't have to deal with the kind of drama that this book portrays with coming of age.
I think one of the big takeaways from this book, though, is just how obsessed everyone is (women included) with women's bodies. Boys/men just want to look at them and touch them, and girls/women are obsessed with how they look (if you only consider the heterosexual perspective). The part of this book that I read showed me how all consuming that obsession is and how early it starts. I wonder how much is biology and how much is culture (and can therefore be changed).
I know that everyone's childhood is unique and people in town can be just as lonely as people in the country, but man this book makes me glad I'm not a child anymore and that I didn't have to deal with the kind of drama that this book portrays with coming of age.
I think one of the big takeaways from this book, though, is just how obsessed everyone is (women included) with women's bodies. Boys/men just want to look at them and touch them, and girls/women are obsessed with how they look (if you only consider the heterosexual perspective). The part of this book that I read showed me how all consuming that obsession is and how early it starts. I wonder how much is biology and how much is culture (and can therefore be changed).
September 25, 2024
I learned about this book from my local library: I live in Emily’s hometown. Her sister was in my high school class (in fact, she was in my ccd class).
Yes, I knew Emily’s reputation. In the Outsiders, Cherry Valance says “things are rough all over.” As a goody-goody who relied on not being a slut to hide her homosexuality, my acts of slut shaming came from a place of envy and also disgust. 2000’s Catholic chastity education might not have been as wild as evangelicals, but virginity was still prized.
In addition to needing to fight chastity narratives and create sexual education that treasures consent, a few other things popped out to me as I listened to this book. Emily hits upon a frustration I share with her that the “Oregon Trail” generation’s very of a pubescence without social media is bunk. It might not have been Facebook, but note how often Emily discusses her activities online.
In the years since, people have come to embrace harm-reduction models for non-suicidal self-injury. This would have helped Emily, and also possibly have created a support. If her actions were “attention-seeking,” what would have happened if adults in her life gave her attention?
Yes, I knew Emily’s reputation. In the Outsiders, Cherry Valance says “things are rough all over.” As a goody-goody who relied on not being a slut to hide her homosexuality, my acts of slut shaming came from a place of envy and also disgust. 2000’s Catholic chastity education might not have been as wild as evangelicals, but virginity was still prized.
In addition to needing to fight chastity narratives and create sexual education that treasures consent, a few other things popped out to me as I listened to this book. Emily hits upon a frustration I share with her that the “Oregon Trail” generation’s very of a pubescence without social media is bunk. It might not have been Facebook, but note how often Emily discusses her activities online.
In the years since, people have come to embrace harm-reduction models for non-suicidal self-injury. This would have helped Emily, and also possibly have created a support. If her actions were “attention-seeking,” what would have happened if adults in her life gave her attention?
June 17, 2016
This is the actual diary of a middle school girl who, now in her 20's, has bravely published in its entirety (only changing names) and added comments in the margins to either elaborate or mainly to point the naivety and misguided thinking she went though as she was sexually bullied and labeled as the class "slut". Clearly boy crazy, physically developed, and beautiful, she does not recognize the fault in other's actions as she continues to seek out approval from the popular crowd and her serial boyfriends. This girl is about 15 years younger than me, but I vividly recognize the voice and thoughts of my own middle school years. While the drama of her and her peers is trivial, the issue of how women are viewed, sexualized, and shamed by society (and each other!) for harmless self-expression opens up a conversation worth having.
June 5, 2016
This book really resonated with me. As someone who also experienced the very first generation of slut-shaming and cyberbullying (erinsaslut@hotmail.com!), I read her diary with intense interest. I happened to have reread my own middle and high school diaries for the first time this year, and while I can say I was as insecure, dramatic, confused and everything else that Emily was, I was not nearly as articulate. I especially loved the annotations adult Emily put in. Some made me let out a snort of laughter, some were so sad, and most were an incredibly insightful view of how screwed up we are in regards to women's sexuality (and the way we impart that onto young women of today). Highly recommended.
November 27, 2016
I wanted to love Emily Lindin's Unslut, but couldn't. The concept is fabulous and bold; it takes courage to put your diaries out in the world, let alone tween diaries.
My middle school experience was filled with much of the same as Emily's: the long phone calls, friends asking friends out, being labeled a slut based on a developed body rather than behavior.
Why I couldn't finish: the running commentary is distracting and not always beneficial to the reading. I found it hard to keep reading because of the chronic footnotes. I left it for a few days with the hope that coming back to it would help me jump back in, but alas, it made me less committed to finishing than previously.
My middle school experience was filled with much of the same as Emily's: the long phone calls, friends asking friends out, being labeled a slut based on a developed body rather than behavior.
Why I couldn't finish: the running commentary is distracting and not always beneficial to the reading. I found it hard to keep reading because of the chronic footnotes. I left it for a few days with the hope that coming back to it would help me jump back in, but alas, it made me less committed to finishing than previously.
November 9, 2020
In my opinion , this was an amazing book for me to read. I love how everything in this book was true and how the author was brave enough to actually publish her diary from middle school. Emily Lindin is a very strong person for not going trough will killing herself and standing up for herself. If it was possible I would give this a 10/10 because the way she uses the margin to actually explain what she meant then, with how he thinks now is amazing.
July 9, 2023
This brought back a lot of memories about the cycles of bullying and being bullied I experienced in middle school about 10 years before this. It also shows how terribly misogynistic society was at the time. Having a middle schooler myself now, I want to work extra hard to break those patterns, but I’m also reminded how little influence parents have on the private lives of kids… it’s a difficult paradox.
February 7, 2017
This is a middle school diary, word for word. The author, now an adult, adds her commentary. There is a lot to be learned in the mind of a middle school girl. I have not fully absorbed this book yet - not sure how to rate it. The experiences were different for me, but I definitely felt right at home inside Emily's head.
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July 20, 2022there was so much relatable pain in this book and i really hope for something to be implemented in schools to help children recognize negative behavior and not feel so alone and for all of us to learn to care for ourselves. we don't deserve the bad things that happen to us. we don't deserve the bad things that happen to us. we don't deserve the bad things that happen to us.
February 1, 2016
Review to Come
March 24, 2016
I enjoyed this one, but I don't think it has the power to REALLY move someone. Full review later :)
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February 14, 2022very good book. 10/10 definitely recommend. never bored me and usually i get bored fast.
February 14, 2019
I have mixed thoughts and emotion regarding this book. I can relate most of the things Emily mentioned during those years because we’re close to age, but apart from that I find my grade school years wholesome. I am actually a bit shocked that those things were already happening at 11 years old. I’m no prudish but I couldnt help but think like one those kids who saw her as ‘slut’ only because she is so flirty and quick to change boyfriends and she’s like so narcissistic. On the other hand, I kinda empathize with her especially on those times when she really didnt like what’s happening.
I know the purpose of this book is to remove the stigma of ‘slut’ but I do not agree much of the justification here. I do understand that expressing one’s sexual eagerness as a woman should not be taken as a negative because it’s a natural and necessary part of growing. But then if this book is only telling me that Emily’s ‘slut’ stigma came from misogyny or prejudice against women’s sexuality then I dont agree because I dont think Emily is just a victim but she is also a participant of her own ‘sluttiness’. You see, I understand that she can be touchy touchy with her boyfriend and it’s not her fault that she’s labelled as slut just because she decided to explore. However, the way she flirts too much and changes boys multiple times, I just see it as negative. If this book also wants me to see these behaviours to be acceptable and nothing should be labelled as ‘slut’ then I dont agree. Seriously, there’s such a thing as ‘tasting’ and ‘eating’ food but when it gets too much it’s called greediness and I just could not see any positive or even neutral thing about it.
And the number of characters in this book can be quite confusing like I have to keep looking back at the list of characters page to remind me who is who again. Lol
The good part is because it is a diary, it is truly interesting and intriguing and the way Emily writes is like she’s a natural writer even on the early years.
I know the purpose of this book is to remove the stigma of ‘slut’ but I do not agree much of the justification here. I do understand that expressing one’s sexual eagerness as a woman should not be taken as a negative because it’s a natural and necessary part of growing. But then if this book is only telling me that Emily’s ‘slut’ stigma came from misogyny or prejudice against women’s sexuality then I dont agree because I dont think Emily is just a victim but she is also a participant of her own ‘sluttiness’. You see, I understand that she can be touchy touchy with her boyfriend and it’s not her fault that she’s labelled as slut just because she decided to explore. However, the way she flirts too much and changes boys multiple times, I just see it as negative. If this book also wants me to see these behaviours to be acceptable and nothing should be labelled as ‘slut’ then I dont agree. Seriously, there’s such a thing as ‘tasting’ and ‘eating’ food but when it gets too much it’s called greediness and I just could not see any positive or even neutral thing about it.
And the number of characters in this book can be quite confusing like I have to keep looking back at the list of characters page to remind me who is who again. Lol
The good part is because it is a diary, it is truly interesting and intriguing and the way Emily writes is like she’s a natural writer even on the early years.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 15, 2019
A very insightful look into the mind and social play of teenagers, although I am no longer one I assume it still rings true in this day and age - probably worse with the online presence of everybody actually. This true story took place in the late 90s, names have been changed to protect the author and her classmates' privacy. Apparently, this was first published online, and the author decided later to publish it in physical book form with her annotations alongside the diary entries. The subject is sexual bullying and double standards amongst the genders, although it also deals with social groups, peer pressure, depression, gossiping, how labels can define someone whether they like it or not, sexism... the list actually goes on and on. The book contains entries lifted straight from the authors' diary when she was 13, with her 'adult aged' insights into events noted on the side.
I think it is one of those books which could put into perspective for young people how labels and events do not have to define your reputation forever. Good on 'Emily' for publishing this book, hopefully a lot of people suffering from bullying of any description can read this and take hope from it.
I think it is one of those books which could put into perspective for young people how labels and events do not have to define your reputation forever. Good on 'Emily' for publishing this book, hopefully a lot of people suffering from bullying of any description can read this and take hope from it.
September 4, 2019
I feel like I need to review this book to justify my rating. I admire the courage it took to start the Unslut Project and I think it's incredibly valuable and important in today's day and age. That being said, I don't think Linden approached it as best she could. Her often lighthearted and unnecessary notes made as she reflects on her entries don't do justice how seriously messed up her experiences were. I found it downplayed the severity of bullying and, especially, the way young girls internalize these things, blaming themselves and deflecting onto others.
Maybe the notes were meant to make the book more accessible to the younger audience it's obviously published for, and I can't discredit the impact that just reading these entries in this context can bring a person to recognize that slut shaming is not okay and that life extends beyond the schoolyard. Still, I was disappointed at the nonchalance certain topics were treated and felt the author could have used her voice in a more impactful way.
Maybe the notes were meant to make the book more accessible to the younger audience it's obviously published for, and I can't discredit the impact that just reading these entries in this context can bring a person to recognize that slut shaming is not okay and that life extends beyond the schoolyard. Still, I was disappointed at the nonchalance certain topics were treated and felt the author could have used her voice in a more impactful way.
September 8, 2019
This is an interesting concept for a book. I was interested in it because I myself enjoy reading my high school diary and I find myself cracking up over how ridiculous I was a teenager. I related to Emily's diaries because she is just one year younger than me so I could definitely relate to a lot of what her and her friends were going through.
It was an easy, interesting read but the only thing was I didn't really feel like it did much to break the slut shaming norm that she's trying to do with her nonprofit. I think it's important to reflect on these things when you're an adult becuase you're able to see things different, but I didn't feel empowered after reading this. And perhaps that's because I'm not a slut shamer and agree with the things she wrote in her sidebar comments.
Anyway, it's an easy, entertaining read. If you grew up in the late 90s early 2000s you will be able to identify with this - but anyone who has gone to middle/high school can relate to the things these kids dealt with when they were that age.
It was an easy, interesting read but the only thing was I didn't really feel like it did much to break the slut shaming norm that she's trying to do with her nonprofit. I think it's important to reflect on these things when you're an adult becuase you're able to see things different, but I didn't feel empowered after reading this. And perhaps that's because I'm not a slut shamer and agree with the things she wrote in her sidebar comments.
Anyway, it's an easy, entertaining read. If you grew up in the late 90s early 2000s you will be able to identify with this - but anyone who has gone to middle/high school can relate to the things these kids dealt with when they were that age.
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