Communication Skills for Teens: How to Listen, Express, and Connect for Success

by Michelle Skeen, Matthew McKay, Patrick Fanning

Communication is an essential life skill that every teen must learn. Based on the New Harbinger classic, Messages , this book will teach you the necessary skills—such as assertiveness, active listening, and compassion—to become an effective communicator for life. In an age of social media, texting, and ever-evolving technology, it’s easy to forget how to engage in real, face-to-face communication, a critical skill for your future success! As you become more connected to your smartphone and the internet, your ability to connect in person may diminish. But technology doesn’t replace the need for effective communication skills. In fact, successful personal and professional relationships are dependent upon connecting with people face-to-face. Communication Skills for Teens provides the guidance you need to become a better communicator and succeed in all areas of life. You’ll also learn tons of essential life skills, including active listening, assertiveness, clarifying language, the art of an apology, compassion, interviewing skills, family communication, and more. Each chapter focuses on one key aspect of communication, offers a real teen’s perspective, and includes practical exercises to help you apply what you’ve learned in the real world—away from your computer and smartphone screens. By following the practical, skills-based tips in each chapter of this book, you'll learn powerful communication techniques to last a lifetime.

Genres: Nonfiction, Parenting, Self Help

208 pages, Paperback

First published January 2, 2016

About the author

Michelle Skeen, PsyD, has a doctorate in clinical psychology. She is author of seven books, all designed to enhance relationships by emphasizing the importance of identifying core values and valued intentions, limited thinking, mindfulness, self-compassion, empathy, and effective communication and conflict resolution skills. Her passion is coaching individuals in creating and maintaining healthy relationships by bringing awareness to obstacles (fears and beliefs), which often work unconsciously to limit connections with others. Michelle believes that an early introduction and education in core values and healthy communication are essential life skills for success. To that end, Michelle and her daughter, Kelly, coauthored Communication Skills for Teens and Just As You Are.

Skeen completed her postdoctoral work at the University of California, San Francisco. She codeveloped an empirically validated protocol for the treatment of interpersonal problems that resulted in two books: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for Interpersonal Problems and The Interpersonal Problems Workbook. Michelle’s work has appeared in more than thirty publications around the world. She hosts a weekly radio show called Relationships 2.0 with Dr. Michelle Skeen that airs nationally. To find out more, visit her website at www.michelleskeen.com.

Source: https://www.newharbinger.com/author/m...

Reviews

[Brittany · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great tool!

[Basirat Atif · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was my first book on communication skills and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It's one of those books that you will be required to read several times especially if you are new to communication skills. The book not just provides theories but also practical tips on how to apply those theories in real life. Moreover, it also encourages the reader to write down their own experiences which I haven't done yet but will do the next time I read the book. Writing along does help you broaden your perspective and gives you a chance to get to know yourself better. I do recommend this book to parents, teachers and teens.

[Cat · Rating 2 out of 5]

In the early part of this book, I felt like there were a few decent points for teens to consider. However, I'm not rating it very highly for several reasons:

1) "Teens" includes children from age thirteen to nineteen. That's a pretty wide age range. However, if I were to recommend this book to any age group (which sadly, I wouldn't), it would probably be to ages 17 to early 20's. My reasoning, is that the author specifically recommends that the readers make a list of values that they hold in order to aid in their decision making. For younger teens, ages 13 to 16, they are still in the very early stages of determining what things they do and don't agree with their parents on value-wise and as the mother of a 12 year old currently, I wouldn't want my daughter to start making decisions this summer based solely on values that may be important to her 13 year old self. Most younger teens still value gratification of their own wants and needs above any thoughts of consequences or how their actions affect others.

2. There is a large portion of the book dedicated to communicating about sex. While I feel that it is important to keep an open dialogue between parents and teens (NOT "the talk," but an ongoing conversation over the years so that all questions can be answered and our kids become comfortable discussing personal topics with us at length), the author talks first about being able to talk to a partner about sex and consent before communicating with parents is introduced as a topic (again, not great advice for young teens who are more interested in gratification than how it will effect themselves and their partner in the long-term. Then, after bringing communication with parents about sex into the mix, she suggests that readers who aren't comfortable talking with a parent ("or other trusted adult") could go to trustworthy websites like Planned Parenthood. So, she suggests to teens that going to the website of an organization with a financial interest in kids becoming sexually active as soon as possible and a history of teaching children as young as kindergarten that their parents aren't really a trusted source of information on sex.

3. Lastly, I was interested (and even optimistic) to see how the author including her own daughter in the book would contribute to it overall. Unfortunately, her daugher (probably because she was raised by her mother) comes across also as clinical in how she talks about the exercises given in the book. Her responses didn't seem to add authenticity or more information to the book, but rather came across as flat and hollow. By the end, I felt a little like the author had used her daughter as a prop.

I'm going to keep looking, because I have a feeling that there are much more helpful books out there for my children.

[Saigon Cheeky · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant book

This book can easily be titled Communication Skills For All...

Relevant to all ages, genders and cultures

Well structured ... Easy to understand then practice

For all who care about themselves, their love ones, friends .....read Soonest

The sooner you read this book, the more chances you would enjoy life

Read read read

[Jennifer Mordan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have used this book with several of my Teen age clients over the last year. This book is clear and concise. The information is easy to understand and easy to apply to common communication issues with teens. I think most every teen can benefit from information in this book. I plan to use it again with future clients.

[Online Eccentric Librarian · Rating 5 out of 5]

More reviews (and no fluff) on the blog http://surrealtalvi.wordpress.com/

Communication Skills for Teens is a focused book discussing ways to deal with difficult situations as they relate to interpersonal skills. Written for teens, it doesn't talk down to them nor go over their head; it is straightforward and uses examples and sample situation to help illustrate the points. The addition of the author's daughter's experiences and how she handled situations add an effective peer-to-peer perspective. I chose this for my 12 year old who is starting middle school so she can get a heads up on working with others through the difficult teen years.

The book breaks down as follows: Introduction, how to really listen, Letting others know you, Expressing what you feel and need, Recognizing hidden agendas, Understanding your beliefs and the beliefs of others, Assertive communication, Making new connections, Sexual communication, Family communication, Communication for academic and career success.

Each chapter has an introduction, little call-outs from daughter Kelly, information on how communication on the topic is problematic, tips and examples for dealing with situations, and then a 'putting it all together' summary. What was important is that the examples were very relatable - both my daughter and I were able to identify several instances where friends/family had fallen into communication traps recently and in the past. It made for great discussions on how her friends are changing now with puberty.

There is a bit of CBT (cognitive behavior therapy) in the form of keeping a notebook to write down instances where communication problems occurred. Although my daughter is 12 and therefore won't have need of the sex or job communication skills, nearly every other part of the book was highly useful and very useful to situations in which she'd found herself - even at that young age. Moreover, she had no problem reading and understanding the topics contained within.

I found this to be a very useful book on a very focused topic that is so valuable. From making to keeping friends to interviewing for jobs, there are some really good points made using effective and relevant examples. For us, since my daughter is young, we were able to discuss the chapters together; even so, this is a book that is useful when read on its own as well. Reviewed from an advance reader copy provided by the publisher.

[Rebekah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is part of a series of teen-targeted help books on topics like communication, anxiety, self-esteem, depression, etc. The book explains the still highly needed skill of communication even in today's highly digital and technological age. Skills like active listening, self-disclosure, expressing your needs, recognizing your hidden agendas, clarification, assertive communication, making new connections, sexual communication, family communication, and interviewing skills. The book can be read according to need, flipping to the desired chapter or as preferred read all the way through as most skills are needed. I liked that the book not only explained what the different types of communication include but also how to achieve them. Active listening for example would entail listening to understand them, to enjoy and appreciate the other person, to learn more about them, and to help via assistance or support. This is contrary to most of the cultures way of listening and getting distracted, just to let the other talk or wait for their turn to talk and voice their opinion. It also helps that there is excerpts from a teenager (Kelly Skeen) on the application of each concept and exercises for the reader to apply the newly learned skill. I really liked the layout. Very user-friendly with its organization into bullet points, subheadings, explanations, applications, exercises, etc. It made for a much more clear and quick read because it lost the fluff and was to the point. I was a little suspicious about sexual communication chapter, but in this day and age, or rather with how people in general are, it laid out some very important topics about when, why, knowing the emotional consequences as well as the physical consequences, going to parents about questions and examining if your actions match your values or the values you want to have. Still I would have liked more on the consequences and the importance of both age and maturity. I once was given the advice of don't do anything you are comfortable talking about. Are you old enough to handle and support any possible outcome of your actions? this question was not asked, but still for a non-religious resource it gave a lot of good advice on all aspects of communication and is practical for people of all ages, not just teens.

[Elizabeth Bruhn · Rating 3 out of 5]

My mom recommended me this book when I was having trouble with my friends. I felt like many scenarios in the book were applicable to what I was dealing with then and I felt like I wasn't alone, like other people went through this too.
Rated it a 3/5 stars because it certainly helped me, but it never really excited me.

[Rachel Reeves · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing a digital ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I was interested in reviewing this to consider for the collection at my library, and I've sent in a request to get it ordered for my teen collection after reviewing it. The book is written in a very conversational tone that I believe teens will be open to, allowing them to really gain something from the book. The language is simple but not in a way that talks down to teens; it's just an easy to understand and relate to read about important skills that teens need to build in order to effectively communicate with others. It provides great examples that read as true to the situations teens may face, and the input from the author's teen daughter makes the book even better. Her voice is very authentic and the experiences she relates to the various topics will really help teens better identify with the messages of the book. Great addition for teen collections at libraries and a great choice for parents to get for their teens who could use some help with their communication skills (most teens could benefit really).

[Heather Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

Communication Skills for Teens will be an awesome addition to any library! It is part of a series for teens intent on giving them the skills needed to succeed at life. Each book is stand-alone. I truly believe that this is an area that all people, not just teens could benefit from, and this particular book is an excellent resource in that area. Communication Skills for Teens goes fairly in-depth on a bunch of topics, including listening, understanding others' beliefs, recognizing hidden messages, being assertive, and communicating about your sexual values.
I am very appreciative to New Harbinger Publications and Instant Help Books for the copy I won as part of a Goodreads giveaway!

[Gretchen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Where was this book when I was a teen? I was such a shy teen. I would spend lunch in the library because I was too afraid to initiate a conversation. This book gives great, practical advice to teens on how to communicate in different situations. I thoroughly enjoyed it. This was the first book I have ever won from Goodreads Giveaways.

[Belmont Kirch · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so informative and it lets the teenagers to communicate in an effective way, techniques and strategies. A good guidance to open up or to understand themselves.I think it helps teens!!!

[Ryan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very, very useful. Very condensed. Provides very good advice.