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346 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 23, 2025
And accompanying all of it, like the percussion section uniting an orchestra as one, the trees. Tall and thick with minimal understory growth, this section of land was filled with groves of old-growth pine, conifer, juniper, and fir. The wind rustled their needles, a quiet shhhhh that made my shoulders drop from their permanently clenched position around my ears. Their broad trunks creaked and groaned as they swayed. Yeah, I’d accepted the lookout job for this. I needed sound that wasn’t noise. I could already feel my blood pressure lower the longer I listened.
*sigh*
🌲🌲🌲
“For so long, it felt like I couldn’t leave this lookout. It felt like I was trapped. Now, though, I wonder.”
“What do you wonder?” I whispered into the space between us.
“I wonder if I was only waiting.”
*Double sigh* 🥹
🔥🔥🔥
“Oh, pretty baby. Look at you. Did you like sucking me so much you made a mess all over yourself?”
He whimpered, fingers bunching in my shirt. “Yes.”
😮💨😮💨😮💨
I peered through the open window into the tower I’d call home. Only to find a man staring right at me.
“You roasted a chicken for me?” “Spatchcocked and roasted.” His eyes danced. “You’ve gotta stop saying that.” I nudged him forward, crowding him toward the stove. “Go on and fix your plate before I spatchcock you.” He grinned over his shoulder.
“Don’t threaten me with a good time.”
“That’s it,” he gasped.
“There.” “Mmhmm.”
“Smug isn’t your best look.”
“Squirming on my fingers is absolutely yours, though.”
“For so long, it felt like I couldn’t leave this lookout. It felt like I was trapped. Now, though, I wonder.” “What do you wonder?” I whispered into the space between us. “I wonder if I was only waiting.”
It felt like Charlie was always meant to be tucked right next to me, curled into my warmth while the wind lashed sleet and snow against the windowpanes.
“Hold me, Reece? Don’t let me disappear.”
“Even if this is all we ever have, I’m happy we had it.”
His shoulders fell. The cautious hesitance on his face melted away, like the weight of the world had been lifted. I marveled at the power of being seen, of being understood, even if it was by just one person.
“For so long, it felt like I couldn’t leave this lookout. It felt like I was trapped. Now, though, I wonder.” “What do you wonder?” I whispered into the space between us. “I wonder if I was only waiting.” I couldn’t vocalize the burning ache that bloomed in my chest at his words, but I could hold him close, and I could keep him warm. So I did. All night long. Because there was a part of me, one I was too afraid to even silently acknowledge, that wondered if I’d been waiting, too.
“I used to curse whatever it was that kept me here all those years. I don’t anymore. Not even a little. Even if this is all we ever have, I’m happy we had it.” Hot tears splashed my cheeks. “This isn’t all we have, Charlie,” I said, voice rough. “I don’t know how I know that, but I do. In my bones, I know that.”
If I could choose the face death wore as it lulled me into that peaceful goodnight, it would be his.