One Wild Song: A Voyage in a Lost Son's Wake

by Paul Heiney

When British television presenter Paul Heiney’s son, Nicholas, committed suicide at age 23, Paul and his wife,Sunday Times columnist Libby Purves, were rocked to the core. Although he had struggled with severe depression for many years, Nicholas had been a highly gifted and promising young man.

Among other things, Nicholas was a keen sailor, with several of his posthumously-published writings having a nautical theme. To try to reconnect with this happier memory of his son, Paul decides to set out--alone--on a voyage he would have liked them to have embarked upon together.

Cape Horn is the sailor’s Everest: One of the most remote and bleak parts of the world, it takes courage, physical strength, and mental fortitude to face its tempestuous seas, violent winds, and barren landscape. During the voyage, Paul finds peace of mind and a way to face the future without his son.

Poignant, moving, funny, thought-provoking, and beautifully written, Paul’s account of setting his own course through seemingly insurmountable grief makes for a powerful story. Injected with humor, perceptiveness, and philosophy, recounting his highs, lows, frustrations, and triumphs, the honesty and openness of Paul’s story makes this very personal account a universal tale--for sailors and non-sailors alike.

Genres: Travel, Biography

230 pages, Hardcover

First published April 9, 2015

Reviews

[Paul · Rating 4 out of 5]

In June 2006, Nicholas Heiney, aged 23 took his own life. Unknown to his family he had been suffering from severe mental health issues, and this terrible, tragic action was the only way that he felt he could cope with the future. His family were naturally devastated at the loss of their son. He had a gift for poetry and was a talented sailor, have already sailed across the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans.

The morning runs on, a springtime secret

Nicholas had got his love of sailing from his father, the TV presenter Paul Heiney, and as a eulogy to his life he decided to set out on a voyage across the Atlantic all the way down to Cape Horn in his small boat. It was a journey that he wished that they could have taken together. He was to undertake it is several legs, from the UK down to Morocco, From there to Brazil via the island of Cape Verde then down the coast of South America towards Cape Horn.

I sing, as I was taught inside myself

He was joined on his journey by friends and family making up the crew, others were strangers, sometimes he sailed solo. The voyage gave him time to contemplate Nicholas’s death and explore his feelings about it and come to terms with what had happened. He describes the act of sailing as a way of coming closer to his son, and feeling his spirit of his presence in the ocean.

the one wild song, song that whirls my words around until a world unfurls

But this is a travel book too, and the account of him sailing across the Atlantic, all the way down the South American Coast and through the Beagle Channel at the bottom of the world describing the people he meets and places he visits is pretty good too. Readers with a love of sailing will like this too, as he battles against the storms coming home to the UK.

The silence at the song’s end

It is a very moving personal account of his feelings about his son, how he has come to terms with the heartbreak and tragedy. When they were looking through his belongings after, they discovered in an untidy mass of papers a remarkable collection of writings and poetry. They have been sifted and collated into a book; The Silence at the Song's End, an all too brief literary legacy of a loved and cherished son.

[Jaksen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won this book in a Goodreads giveaway.

In brief: a man goes on a sailing trip in order to find understanding, a sense of peace, and even, communion with his son who committed suicide at age 23.

But,the book needs a map. Seriously. Though it's written as a sort of combination (sad) love letter and nautical diary, there are constant references to atolls, islands, ports, and geographical references throughout. I would have liked to know what is what and where is where.

(I think there is a sort of aversion to maps and tables in books of this sort, but why? I would have loved to see where he was headed; I am not an expert on geography. I can place any country you give me, but minor bays and ports and straits, etc., these I do not know.)

So there's my one criticism, and it's editorial in nature. The book itself deals with day-to-day matters: the weather, crew mates, the people Heiney meets at various ports, and so on. There is great detail involving the weather and winds and reefing and knots. (I am not a sailor but could follow most of his 'sailing talk.') Heiney is nothing if not a detailed writer. He elegantly describes the majesty of a glacier calving a huge piece of ice, or the beauty of being at night in a black world with stars above and water below and no clear demarcation point between. As for his lost son, he often feels or hears his presence, but it is never enough as he struggles to understand why his son, a gifted poet, took his own life. In the end this is the story of a man with a very broken heart.

I hope he writes a sequel.

[Bronwyn Hegarty · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lovely book, well written and easy to read. It was an account of a sailing journey and some insightful thoughts from Paul about the meaning the journey had on his connection with his dead son. It must have been a truly hard and life changing experience, and lonely and terrifying. Some of that comes through along with his sense of wonder. Bravely he tells us about his loss of temper when things just get too much. He has revealed a little of himself but there will be much much more he is not able to tell us. It is a remarkably interesting book even if you don't understand some of the sailing terms. A must read and a beginning to understanding what it must feel like to be truly alone.

[Nicola Greer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Disappointed, I didn't realise it would be so heavily based on the sailing aspect, which I didn't find interesting at all. I understand why Paul Heiney comes over as very grumpy and on occasion, petulant, but a bit of levity here and there might have helped

[Barbara O'Brien · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read this in a couple of sittings - I enjoyed the depictions of nature - the many characters of the sea and man's psychological and physical challenges and achievements in setting out on a voyage, the comfort in ones own company and the need to connect with others. Much if not all of the sailing terminology was lost on me but I dont think it impacted my enjoyment of the book - if anything it inspired a further interest in wanting to read more sailing voyages and learn more about sailing as a subject now that I have moved to the coast. References to son and connecting him the voyage were sad but not overbearing in the book - as he testifies to himself it was not a pilgrimage - if anything an homage to his sons love of sailing and poetry.

[John M · Rating 3 out of 5]

I nearly gave up on this one several times: chiefly because of a writing style that could cure insomnia and Heiney's somewhat curmudgeonly personality. Sentimentality got me there in the end. Firstly because of where I bought the book - the wonderful Wemyss Bay station second hand bookshop (GO if you ever get the chance) and secondly because Heiney used to be on THAT'S LIFE on tv when I was a kid. The strengths of the book are in the descriptions of places, people and sailing weather (honestly) and his love and admiration for his son who killed himself. Not an easy read but I got something from it in the end.

[Liz Haigh · Rating 5 out of 5]

A perfect holiday read! 😎
Confession, I have not read this book! But my husband read it on a recent beach holiday and loved it so much and talked about it so much, I feel duty bound to give it a 5 star review. My husband loved the honesty of Paul, sad in parts, but great adventure. A good exploration of grief after the loss of his 23 year old son to suicide.
Paul gives a good account of far flung countries and kindness of strangers.

[Mott Irwin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Moody

[David · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting sailing adventure, I also appreciated the author's reflections on grief.

[Andy Plonka · Rating 3 out of 5]

I admire the author's bravery and can relate to his loss of his son as my parents did when my brother died at the age of 44.

[Mr Frederick M Soole · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very sad, very beautiful

[Susan Keen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received this book as part of Goodreads First Reads Giveaways! The book is a great read. Heart wrenching, as the author pulls you in to his voyage of trying to let his son go, by sailing around the ocean. He meets different people along his journey, each one teaching him a little something about life. I felt sad the way the author talks about his son, and how much he misses him. So it was an up and down ride reading this book. Highly recommended.

Thank you to the author for a great read!!

[Patrick Carroll · Rating 5 out of 5]

Its a very clever book on two levels, it manages to convey the conflicts of pitting oneself against the sea and the desire to incorporate the meaning of a son's life from a father's perspective. Truly a privilege to read and I think I left the book a better person for reading it. Thanks Paul.

[Alan Thomson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good book. Clearly a good sailor, we get some insight into the character of the author and a great feel for this journey. It is underpinned by his clear struggle to overcome and understand his son's death. Heart rending at times but I am so glad I read this book.

[alfredo bravo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful

Good read, lovely story looking for something beyond this world and at the end it was the adventure itself. Nice.