The Pickle Index

by Eli Horowitz

Zloty Kornblatt is the hapless ringmaster of an even more hapless circus troupe. But one fateful night, Zloty makes a mistake: he accidentally makes his audience laugh. Here on the outskirts of Burford—where both the cuisine and the economy, such as they are, are highly dependent on pickled vegetables—laughter is a rare occasion. It draws the immediate attention of the local bureaucracy, and by morning Zloty has been branded an instigator, conspirator, and fomentor sentenced to death or worse.
His only hope lies with his dysfunctional troupe—a morose contortionist, a strongman who’d rather be miming, a lion tamer paired with an elderly dog—a ragged band of misfits and failures who must somehow spring Zloty from his cell at the top of the Confinement Needle. Their arcane skills become strangely useful, and unlikely success follows unlikely success. Until, suddenly, the successes end—leaving only Flora Bialy, Zloty’s understudy and our shy narrator, to save the day.

Punctuated with evocative woodcuts by Ian Huebert, Eli Horowitz's The Pickle Index is a fast-moving fable, full of deadpan humor and absurd twists—and an innovative, exhilarating storytelling experience.

Genres: Fiction, Humor, Food

224 pages, Paperback

First published October 13, 2015

About the author

Eli Horowitz is the co-creator of The Silent History, a digital novel; The Clock Without a Face, a treasure-hunt mystery; and Everything You Know Is Pong, an illustrated cultural history of table tennis. He was the managing editor and then publisher of McSweeney’s; his design work has been honored by I.D., Print and the American Institute of Graphic Arts. Previously, he wrote science trivia questions based on popular films of the 1990s and was briefly employed as an apprentice carpenter. He was born in Virginia and now lives in Northern California.

Reviews

[Ethan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Before I begin, I must state that I received this book in a giveaway from the publisher through Goodreads in exchange for a fair review.

"'Ladies and gentlemen,' I began, 'do we have a show for you tonight.' The question sounded less rhetorical than I intended."

Going into this I had no idea what to expect. News sources said things about apps and 3D printing and circus members, none of which made much sense in context. Thus I was very pleasantly surprised by what the book itself turned out to be.

Available as both an app that I presume will supply parts of the story over a real-time 10 days or in standard papery book form, The Pickle Index is a witty and fun novel that sits somewhere between 1984, Idiocracy, and Monty Python, a failing circus troupe comprised of ragtag ne'er-do-wells with typical and fantastic circusy abilities.

The story is principally told through the viewpoint of two characters; Hank Hamper, a love-struck journalist who has it out for our intrepid troupe and tells his sections in the form of first-person news reports, and Flora Bialy, a shy circus runaway who tells her story and the ongoing story of the troupe by way of the Pickle Index. The Pickle Index is a sort of device which prints out recipes sent from other citizens. Every household must send out a recipe for pickles or pickled-goods, whether original or forwarded on, each night or face severe punishment. This society is absurd and utterly wonderful.

Our narrator, Flora, finds this just as silly as you and sends her recipes out each night. Her titles are fab (Cuke-Fudge Dippin' Stix and Scouse Wallies to name just two) and the instructions to make the recipe are the method in which the story is told.

The entire books is chuckle-worthy, both in its absurdity and the wordplay the author utilizes, and the way the ending plays out truly must be seen to be believed. God bless Martin Van Buren.

Very solid read that plays with the way a story can be told and I look forward to exploring Horowitz' bibliography further.

[Holden · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bizzare, full of quirk, often quite hilarious, and possessing a sort of Seussian (is that a word?) vibe, this story caused me to emit loud explosive bursts of air from my windpipe, and often emit smaller more modest bursts of air through my nostrils when something wasn’t quite as funny. But a welcome breath of fresh air for sure, if you’ve been reading lots of sad books lately about the inevitable coming extinction of many birds, or lots of sad books about society crumbling to dust, or books about racism, or books about nuclear bomb attacks, and need something to lighten your day and re-commence emitting loud bursts of air out of your many orifices.

The only things I didn’t like: a sort of lazy and easy resolution. And I would’ve liked to learn more what a “psychobotanist” does.

[Dan · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don't even know how to approach reviewing this book. There's weird good, there's weird interesting, and then, there's just plain weird. I think there was a plot, I think there were some characters, a story, a narrative, a something, but honestly, I'm just not sure.

[Philip Shade · Rating 3 out of 5]

While most books celebrate that everyone is good at something, The Pickle Index celebrates that we are all, also, terrible at something; often something we love to do.

A fun little book. If you enjoy good, dry, absurdist humor (E.G. Monty Python) you'll probably have some fun.

[Carly Grossman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Farce at its finest. I love coming back to this book for its silly vocabulary, absurd storyline and characters, and of course, the pickles. Such a unique and wonderfully wacky story about a circus going up against a dictator.

[Jocelyn Branco · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this book up at a library book sale because of the funky name and intriguing format. It was pretty much exactly what I expected. It was a little vague in the beginning, as without context I found it unclear what world I was in, but it picked up, and I truly enjoyed the goofy, lighthearted romp through a dystopian world. I read the two book version - first “Snacks” and then “News”.

[Amelia O'Reilly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think it is so sad that The Pickle Index has what I consider to be a mediocre average rating. I thought it was a fun, funny, easy read with an interesting concept, well written by Eli Horowitz and with gorgeous illustrations by Ian Huebert.

I read the 'two book' version so maybe the theater of it increased my positive feelings toward the storyline but I thought it was great fun. I haven't head other reviews yet because I didn't want to cloud my own perception but I suspect some of the negatives might come from the writing feeling a bit haphazard or there being a lack of detail but for me the confusion was part of the fun; The Pickle Index is weird and I loved that about it.

The edition I read was two books and you alternate between 'News' and 'Snacks' to read a report about each day from the perspective of the government aligned newsreader(s) (mostly Hank, who seems to find ways to just 'happen' to fall into positions that he wants) and a daily 'recipe' from Assistant Ringmaster, Flora. Each chapter begins with very detailed and connected illustrations relating to that day's events. This format made the story about more than just the words.

That being said, the words were a huge part of what I loved about The Pickle Index. The progression of our two reporters/narrators and the language they used kept me turning the pages, I didn't just want to know what happened next, I wanted to know how Hank or Flora would describe it. In keeping with the pickle theme there were many fermented food references used with double meanings but just the way sentences were constructed left me feeling very happy as I read, I marked one sentence in particular that I loved from early on as Flora recounts how she joined Zloty's circus, "He said we were privileged to witness such feats. Had I ever really witnessed anything before? I searched my memories, but mostly it was just a whole bunch of ordinary seeing... But to witness something—to become and accomplice just by watching—that was something else."

The Pickle Index was published in 2015 so has obviously been sitting in my 'to read' pile for a very long time but as we see time and time again a story set in a dystopian type world were the opinions of the public are shaped by the 'truth' shared by the media continues to be relevant. The circus theme along side the world of news as control of the masses makes this story both more and less gloomy than your standard dystopian world.

Ignore the less than glowing reviews and give it a go. It might not be a traditional literary masterpiece but it is a bit of fun and a great way to spend a mild winter's day, reading on the back deck.

[Clyde · Rating 1 out of 5]

I love fiction and I love weird fiction. This book was 'weird' in the sense that it was always blatantly transparent about how weird it was trying to be. It's a bold move to craft a world all your own, but I don't think Horowitz has the experience or skill yet to actually assemble his arbitrary words, names and functions into a believable or conceptually interesting world. When Horowitz has drawn himself into a beyond-frustratingly nonsensical corner it is blatantly obvious to the reader what's coming next – things simply take a 180 degree turn simply because he wrote it so. This writing is as unpredictable as it is lazy.

[Cat · Rating 4 out of 5]

A little silly, not too self-serious. I sensed that this was inspired by the soviet union era of informants, censorship, and patriotism, but it’s less of a commentary and more an inspiration for a setting. Absurdist energy, a fun cast, and most importantly, a circus (I love reading about circuses!)

Just a grand ol’ time, and the author has quite an amusing, unique writing style that had me occasionally reading passages aloud to anyone who happened to be in the room with me at the time.

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A short novel which is horribly topical at present, dark and funny, beautifully written . Written from two perspectives, from a newspaper journalist and a young girl who works with an inept carnival crew. I had the paperback but its available as two difference books you can read in alternate chapters and also an Apple App.

[Paul · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hmmm... I liked the concept, and I like the delivery, but I'm afraid The Silent History made my expectations too high, and I was disappointed with this one, that appeared to find itself funnier and cleverer than I did.

[Diego Nunez · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ojalá hubiera medias estrellas para darle sus 3.5,,

No sé que decir! La historia y el worldbuilding estan extrañísimos, pero los personajes son lo suficientemente carismaticos para empujar la historia,, La mitad del tiempo no sabía si me faltaba vocabulario o si el escritor se estaba inventando palabras (sí estaba)

Probablemente mi cosa favorita fue la doble narrativa en cada día/capítulo y los artículos de Hank Hamper lo más gracioso del libro,,

Me reí en voz alta más de una vez le tengo que dar eso !! Pero se pone medio corny en veces perdón

[Kristin · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was horrible. I hated the entire experience. Two books? Really? If only there was another way of changing perspectives….like CHAPTERS in a single book. There was no sense of time and place. They still say “Jesu,” but this obviously wasn’t an earth we know. When was it? How did it happen? I didn’t even understand what the dang Pickle Index was! A little bit of world building would have been good. If I hadn’t needed it for a challenge, I would have abandoned this early on. It is only getting the second star because I did laugh at a could things. Mining a wall. Freaking hilarious.

[Kate McGhee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Right up my alley. Funny, imaginative and creative. I read this in the original format of two volumes: Snacks and News.

Snacks concerns the tale of members of a fictional circus troupe led by Zloty Kornblatt. And News concerns, the biased and neurotic musings of a self-important and self-appointed journalist reporting on the fate of the troupe’s leader.

Loved every minute of it. Insanely-written characters.

[Kieran · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is incredible. If you’re searching for deeper meaning, you’re not going to find it. If you’re willing to embrace absurdity, dry humor, and camp, you’ll absolutely love this. I suggest everyone remember to loosen up before reading it - if you’re looking for suspense or even a point you’ll end up lost. Embrace the weird. Learn to laugh. Know that this won’t be the most groundbreaking story you’ve ever read and don’t take it too seriously.

[Abbi · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would give this 3.5 because it was a ridiculous romp in a alternate universe that was so hair-brained I couldn't quite get fully into but couldn't put down. I connected more about 5 chapters in when the characters were a bit more fleshed out. I have to give the author props for creating something so weirdly creative, I'm still shaking my head.

Enjoyable, and silly, a fun summer read.

[Quinnformel · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh. Kind of smarmy and overly clever. Some cute moments but seemed like it was trying to make a point that basically boils down to “don’t let the state oppress you from doing your thing Man. We’re all just a bunch of freaks you know?” Not the deepest of points but feels like it thinks it is

[Shawn Holman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Silly fun. A ragtag circus troupe comes up against a ridiculous government with ridiculous rules and find themselves in trouble because they caused their audience to laugh. The writing is witty and funny and the story is just pure silliness and it was delightful to read.

[Cassie · Rating 4 out of 5]

For this book I would one hundred percent recommend buying the box set. The illustrations as well as the experience of flipping between volumes really made reading this book an experience. The format is fantastic and innovative and matches the fantastic world the author has created.

[Lance · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book at a library sale and bought it because of the name and artwork. It turned out to be an incredible hidden gem. The dystopian government forces the citizens to send vegetable recipes and has elaborate Rube Goldberg public executions. Very funny and unique book.

[Yt · Rating 5 out of 5]

A good kind of weird that permeates the entire plot.

[epstein · Rating 3 out of 5]

silly but fun and engagingly written.

[Sonya · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m honestly not sure what I just read but it made me laugh and the world is kind of a mess right now so I’m going to go with it...

[Chris Mcdonald · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have the two book hardcover edition and it was a fun read going back and forth between the main story and the "news" reports.

[John W · Rating 3 out of 5]

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[Micah Taylor · Rating 3 out of 5]

High-concept plot, high-brow-ish humor, but always very silly. Not a classic or a particularly memorable story, but a fun, short read.

[sunmi!☆ · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was unserious and lighthearted and I liked it. The writing style was really cool and witty.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absurdist epistolary comedy about pickles, circuses, and fascism.. automatically I’m in. And the writing style adds an extra layer of camp!

[Pearse Anderson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is really an experimental folktale for the modern day. Basic plot, basic characters with little changing, stylized prose that makes you smile as you read it. It works for what it does, but perhaps it could've worked better if it was serialized, maybe even cartoonified. I'm happy with my $10 that went into this, it was a quick and fun thing, but I doubt it will be Horowitz's best.

[Bryan Hall · Rating 5 out of 5]

I do so love a gimmick. Hearkening back to a trend in the books I happened to read last year, the chapters of The Pickle Index alternate between two narrators on opposite sides of the story. The twist here, though, is that there are two separate physical books, and at the end of each chapter the reader puts one down and resumes their place in the other. As opposed to some books that follow different characters on their own adventures in different chapters before the threads dovetail at or near the end, here the entire narrative is told perfectly in sequence, only from opposite sides. (It works much better than my attempt at explaining it.)

The story concerns a dystopian society ruled by an autocratic government, whose state-controlled media begins the telling, which then shifts to a lowly assistant of a tragically inept circus troupe. It's not hard to predict how each will spin the events that unfold, but there are so many brilliant stylistic touches that make reading it a delight. Upon reaching the "About the author" section, it was no great surprise to learn of his McSweeney's pedigree based on the sensibility and kinds of humor he uses. From the delightfully odd elements of the book's world (for example, the not-quite-real names of foods that lend more than a hint of the bizarre) to turns of phrase reminiscent of Daniel Handler ("one, a young woman or elderly girl" or "like a chipmeister at a nacho party"), Horowitz evokes a post-modern Oz.

Aside from one extended outburst of foul language, I would unreservedly recommend The Pickle Index to all those creative children who are slightly weird but sharp, like I was, and certainly for any adult with a love of whimsy and quirk, and a tolerance for unabashed silliness.