If Only Love: A memoir of second chances

by Shelley Saywell

An astonishing memoir of love's enduring power, resilience and transformation, If Only Love is a celebration of the timeless connection between two souls—a real-life love story for the ages.

In 1973, a seventeen-year-old Canadian girl meets an American boy on her first day of school in Japan and falls in love, not realizing that he is also a goner for her. When they finally connect, they only have two months together before school's out and she has to head home. Bad timing and swirling emotion botch their attempt to stay together and they fall out of touch. Long after she loses him, she still thinks of him, and even sets out on a journey to find him, one that fails in the most traumatic of ways.

Thirty years later—after her award-winning documentary career has taken her to the most dangerous of places pursuing the toughest of stories—Daniel Peterson's name pops up in an email in Shelley Saywell's inbox, delivering them both a second chance at love. Soon they are edging towards each other in a soul-baring exchange of emails that slowly confirms that their teenage love was real. For fifteen years, they are bonded in life and in love, only to have their marriage cut short when Daniel is diagnosed with terminal cancer. 

By braiding together the strands of time—threads of first love enhancing threads of grief, a magic reunion undone by final separation—Saywell reveals the power of memory and the healing magic of love. In his last moments, she asks Daniel, "Can we do this again?" and he replies, "We'll do it again, only better." Hard to imagine any two people doing love better, or any writer creating a more touching, revelatory story and testament to the heart.

Genres: Nonfiction, Canada

304 pages, Paperback

Published January 13, 2026

Reviews

[Bridget Tee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heartbreaking.
Lovely.

[kasey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had the absolute privilege of reading this book before its release date on January 27th and what a beautiful journey it was.

If Only Love tells the true story of a first love that slips away, only to return decades later when two souls find each other again. Reunited by fate, Shelley Saywell and the boy she never forgot discover that love can survive time, distance, and heartbreak. Tender, devastating, and deeply human, this memoir is a testament to love’s enduring power, and the hope of doing it again, only better.

This book is truly beautiful and deeply emotional. It carries you through moments of such joy and tenderness, only to completely devastate you in others. It captures the full complexity of love, loss, and memory in a way that feels incredibly intimate and honest.

This was the first non-fiction book I’ve read in a very long time, and I can honestly say I loved every second of it. I’m so grateful to Shelley Saywell for sharing her story, it taught me not only so much about love, but also offered glimpses of history and lived experiences I hadn’t known before.

[Ellen Ross · Rating 5 out of 5]

So much to take in from this stunning memoir that’s a real and raw love story. What could have been, comes back around decades later and really makes you believe in fate although not every ending is a completely happy one. I was so emotional reading this book. I was devastated at times, happy at others, and the way the story of Shelley and Dan is told is done so beautifully. I had tears in my eyes and had to sit for a moment when I finished just to really let everything I’ve read settle in. What a fantastic book. I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am almost hesitant to write a review for this book because I am worried that I won't be able to convey what a remarkable and beautiful book it is. It's an easy five star book for me. I'd give as many stars as I could to this book because it moved me in so many different and unexpected ways. And isn't that what we really want from a book?
I was interested in reading this book for one reason. The author was in Japan in the 1970s. So was I. I did see that she'd been there for just one year and I told myself that it probably wasn't a huge part of her memoir. But clearly it was. I found her writing to be so very Japanese in many ways. Am I imagining that? Will others see it? Or is it 'if you know, you know'?
This is a book about a first love. If you've ever had a first love, you need to read this book--and I hope everyone has a first love to remember. My own wasn't much in retrospect, but Saywell brings back all those precious moments and the thrill of a first love. And hers really was spectacular. But wait, wait, there's more! This book takes you to so many places, both near and far. The unusual upbringings of the author and her love adds much to the story. Do expect to cry. But also do expect to feel the joy.

I give up. I can't write a decent review of a book that moved me to pieces. Just read it, people!

Thank you to NetGalley for an advance copy of this book. It's the best present I've had in a very very long time!

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

If Only Love: A Memoir of Second Chances, written by Shelley Saywell, is one of the most touching and relatable memoirs I have ever read. The memoir tells the beautiful and tragic love story of Shelley Saywell and Daniel Peterson. Shelley and Daniel initially met when they were teenagers, and as time went on, they went their separate ways. After thirty years apart, they find each other again.

I absolutely loved this story. I personally felt like I could relate to their experiences. I laughed, cried, and didn’t want their story to end. This was a book that I couldn’t put down once I started reading, and highly recommend this to anyone who enjoys memoirs. Their love story is a beautiful representation of life, love, and the losses we suffer as human beings trying to find our way in the world.

I want to give a huge thank you to NetGalley.com, author, Shelley Saywell and Penguin Random House Canada (Adult) | Random House Canada for the opportunity to read the advanced reader copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

[Pgchuis · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a copy of this memoir from the publisher via NetGalley.

This tells the story of Shelley and Daniel, who met at boarding school in Japan and fell in love, but things went wrong and they lost touch. Then 30 years later they find each other again and enjoy 12 years together before Daniel dies of cancer. This is not a spoiler - the time frames of the narrative are blended throughout. I think this effect is an important part of what the author was trying to say, but at times (especially at the beginning) it could be confusing - certainly the formatting of my ARC often concealed where one memory ended and another began.

This was moving and read as very real - the scene describing how Shelley and Daniel broke up as 18 year olds felt excruciating and relatable. While the thrust of the memoir was about love and grief, I learnt a lot about Asia during this period. I wish Shelley well.

[Brenda Morgan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was fortunate to be given the chance to read Shelley Saywell’s deeply personal and beautifully written memoir in advance of its launch. In twists of time and locations, Saywell takes the reader on a journey that often feels as familiar as a memory, yet as illusive as trying to catch a dream. It is an inspiring story of her courage, tenacity and devotion that keep her love of Daniel alive no matter the distance or tragedy. Anyone who has ever experienced the electric connection of first love will feel the heart surges again, as the pages of If Only Love reveal a compelling story that touches the most primal fragments of our hearts.

[gzifa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm so fortunate to receive a copy of this memoir before the publication date (love my mom's job). It was honestly so heart-wrenching, so pure, and really showed the true reality of the impact that health issues have on our lives and those that we love. I found myself completely drawn into the love story, the way it was so real and raw, the kind of love that makes your heart ache because you know how fragile life can be. Shelly Saywell captures not just the joy of being in love, but also the pain of knowing it can be cut short. Everyone, remember to cherish every moment with the people you care about, because you never know what can happen tomorrow.

[Craig · Rating 4 out of 5]

As wonderful and heartfelt fiction romances are, there is something special about a real life love story. There is also the added bonus of the author being Canadian and close proximity to me. The Toronto chapters took on added significance because of this. I have always loved romance stories that go back and forth between past and present and all points in-between. I also like the author sprinkling in some of the experiences of film making while in the Middle East.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this story of second chances and multiple timelines. Different than other reads - typically you'll get 2 timelines but this one has 3 - Shelley dealing wih the grief of losing Daniel, Shelly reconnecting with Daniel 15 years prior to his death, Shelley falling in love with Daniel in high school. They met in a boarding school in China - so fascinating to read about.

[W Bruce · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have just read this amazing memoir of second chance love, and loss. Shelley Saywell has bared her soul, no stone unturned, the mark of a real writer. An enjoyable read, thought Heather Reisman, she made it a “Heather’s Pick.”

[Regina Robb · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written memoir of lost and found. I read in two sittings. Had trouble putting it down. And oh what a full life Shelley has had. Highly recommend for the romantic in all of use. ❤️

[Marie-France Leclerc · Rating 4 out of 5]

What an extraordinary story. The author really describes well the emotion of losing your spouse in the way she goes back and forth from the toast to the present.

[Abbey K · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 ⭐ such a touching story and I love how she gives us flashbacks of what happened in the past, read it in 2 days I couldn't put it down

[Sandra Tierney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful ❤️