Aliens Venmoed Me a Trillion Dollars

by Daniel Lawrence Abrams

ALIENS VENMOED ME A TRILLION DOLLARS

"The truth is out there... and paying very well."

Doug Dawkins lives to debunk conspiracy theories, especially crackpot claims of aliens. So when his dead dad FaceTimes him (giving him crazy money and orders to cover up the truth of extraterrestrial existence), Doug is sure this is a hacker's scam and reports it to the NSA. Then government security servers melt down. NSA agents become convinced Doug and his wife are dangerous spies. But Doug is sure he'd never kill anyone or believe aliens exist. Could he be half right?

One problem is that an astronomer just discovered the background static of the universe is actually unfathomably complex, interstellar communications, definitive proof of alien life, and that professor is... Doug's wife, Lena Fierro.

Why would he want to turn down a trillion-dollar cosmic bribe, yet still conceal the truth from the world?

Book THE THREE-BODY PROBLEM meets THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY.

Movie DON’T LOOK UP meets CONTACT and GALAXY QUEST.

"Spacetime is money."

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From Daniel Lawrence Abrams, author of the multi-award-winning IMMORTALITY DIGITAL MINDS DON’T GET HUNGRY —

• Winner “Best Science Fiction” & "Best Political Fiction" — American Writing Awards (2024)

• Winner “Best Humor/Satire” — Storytrade Awards (2024)

• Winner “Best Sci-Fi Humor” — Annual Indies Today Awards (2024)

• Winner “Best Cyberpunk” — 7th Annual American Fiction Awards (2024)

• Kirkus Reviews — “a supercharged, high-stakes, cyberpunk thriller... Our ✓GET IT”

• Publishers Weekly’s BookLife Reviews — “✓EDITOR’S PICK”

60 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 4, 2025

Reviews

[Jim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Aliens among us. How do I get paid?

This is a pretty quick entertaining read as aliens have determined that we are just not ready to know the truth and they are quite willing to pay big money in order to keep their presence secret. Now I just need to know how I get on their payroll.

[Jules Bruff · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fast, funny read in which aliens decide humanity isn’t ready for the truth—and are more than happy to shell out serious cash to keep their existence under wraps. Now if only I could figure out how to land a spot on their payroll.

[Drey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I need more

Doug and Lena are my heroes, but I need a continuation. I need a back story on why the aliens are interested with Doug and Lena, how many times they came to earth before and basically their home planet. I was glued from the first page.

[Simon Piety · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wild, Weird, and So Much Fun

A darkly funny thrill ride packed with aliens, espionage, and unexpected family dynamics. Doug is a mess—but one you’ll root for. The writing is sharp, the pace relentless, and the absurdity somehow makes perfect sense. I wanted more!

[Declan Barnett · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wasn’t expecting to laugh this hard at a story about murder, aliens, and secret agents. The writing is sharp and ridiculous in the best way. Totally original and unforgettable.

[Aaren Allen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Genre-Bending Perfection

It’s part thriller, part sci-fi, part comedy—and it works. If you like your stories bold, weird, and unafraid to go there, this one’s for you.

[Anthony Richards · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was in interesting short story. With many short stories, the character development was quick and not complete, but the main characters where presented as a questionable power couple in a remote northern town. When the science researcher finds out the truth, everything seems to go up in literal flames. It was a great, quick read, and had an interesting closing point, but good overall.

[Lee Murphy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Doug's journey from awkward pacifist to accidental assassin with a trillion-dollar payout is hilarious. His momma steals every scene. Totally bizarre and totally brilliant.

[Book Reviewer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Daniel Lawrence Abrams’ Aliens Venmoed Me a Trillion Dollars is a wild, brainy, satirical sci-fi romp that fuses conspiracy theory, first contact, government paranoia, and millennial tech cynicism into a sharp and hilarious short story. It follows Doug, a skeptical YouTuber known for debunking alien myths, and Lena, a brilliant but sidelined astronomer, as they inadvertently find themselves caught in a secret first contact scenario. After a mysterious message, a virus that fries the NSA’s servers, and a string of tragicomic mishaps, including a laser accident involving two federal agents, the couple ends up hiding the evidence and receiving a trillion-dollar alien payout. It’s a tale of proof, power, and what happens when the biggest revelation in history is too dangerous to share.

I laughed a lot. Abrams has this gift for taking a ridiculous premise and grounding it with sharp dialogue and characters who feel real, even when they’re making impossible choices. Doug is a lovable cynic, Lena’s a powerhouse of intellect and heart, and the alien interactions were absurd in the best way. The writing is punchy and fast-paced. I loved the way it leaned into modern tech quirks like FaceTime calls, encrypted clouds, streaming culture, while also throwing in hard sci-fi themes. The pacing kept me on my toes, and I never knew if I was about to chuckle, gasp, or furrow my brow in existential dread. It felt like Black Mirror collided with The X-Files and got notes from Arrested Development.

At times, the sheer amount of pop culture references and winks to the audience took me out of the moment. The breakneck shifts, from deadpan jokes to moral panic to murder cover-ups, could be jarring. But Abrams makes it work. The heart of this story is two people trying to do the right thing when reality breaks all its own rules. And while the aliens remain mysterious, their impact on human lives is very personal and messy, exactly how first contact should feel in our chaotic world.

I’d recommend Aliens Venmoed Me a Trillion Dollars to fans of sci-fi with a sense of humor, people who love a good government conspiracy gone haywire, or anyone who’s ever screamed “what the hell is going on” during a Zoom call. If you like your fiction fast, funny, and full of heart with a layer of “we are definitely not ready for this,” then this story’s for you.

[DE Jorgensen · Rating 5 out of 5]

More, please?

What a fun romp with aliens, scientists, researchers, and a truly likeable podcaster! Not necessarily in that order. The characters square with people I know in academia and the govt. My only complaint is the semi-snotty remark about Boomers. Good story regardless.

[M. · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not for me

Not the best short story I've ever read. This book was just too all over the place for me to make any real sense of. It's like something is missing, some piece of crucial knowledge. It's a no for me, unfortunately.

[Grant Young · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love this short story!! It's clever and funny in the way the best episodes of Black Mirror or Twilight Zone are. I'm keeping my eye on this author!!

[Tor Christensen · Rating 5 out of 5]

awesome!

Great story - extremely creative and fresh. Love the pacing and the dialog. I highly recommend this book for anyone who loves a good story!

[David Blaylock · Rating 4 out of 5]

Aliens would be the only way I would ever be rich.