Thinking Kink: The Collision of BDSM, Feminism and Popular Culture

by Catherine Scott

When a mildly kink-themed trilogy became popular in 2012, it resulted in media speculation that feminism was in reverse. As the Western media went BDSM-mad, writer Catherine Scott decided to address the growing anti-feminist conversation about kink. She found there was no writing that looked at the intersection of pop culture, BDSM and feminism; so she decided to create it herself.

Genres: Feminism, Nonfiction, Sexuality, BDSM, Womens Studies

228 pages, Paperback

First published April 17, 2015

Reviews

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was only a few pages in before I knew for certain that I would be adding this to my professional library. Scott's examination of kink (in its myriad forms) is surprisingly thorough, and Scott is not afraid to challenge her own opinions during her research - which yielded very thoughtful and honest work. Scott provides a combination of research, including critical viewing of pop culture, peer-reviewed research articles, personal experience, and anecdotal interviews, which I felt supported Scott's rigorousness as a researcher on this particular topic. I very much appreciated the way Scott utilized an intersectional feminist lens and was not afraid to acknowledge both the positive and negatives of BDSM play and the surrounding culture (see the chapter on safe words), which is especially difficult to do when writing about a very much marginalized community. Scott shows that critical thinking is vital and that nothing is either purely "good" or "bad" (as is echoed by discussions of consent throughout the book). While Scott fully believes that there is nothing wrong with kink or BDSM, Scott is careful in the ways that they point out that even minority groups are not perfect and have problems of their own.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Description (Booklikes): 

When the mildly kink-themed trilogy 50 Shades of Grey became popular reading in 2012, the media speculated that feminism was in reverse, as the public went mad over bondage and discipline, domination and submission and sadomasochism (BDSM). The novels provoked academic debate about BDSM and the issues it raises for feminists. Is the female dominant truly powerful or is she just another objectified body? Does lesbian BDSM avoid the problematic nature of heterosexual kink, or is it actually more subject to the male gaze of feminist theory? And what is it about kink that has creators of pop culture from Anne Rice to the producers of Scrubs using it to attract audiences? Examining the tropes of kink in books, TV shows, film and the music industry, this work addresses these and other questions that depictions of BDSM raise for the feminist audience. The author interweaves her own research and experiences in the BDSM scene with the subculture's portrayal in the media. 

My thoughts: 

This book is based on blog the author wrote in 2012 for Bitch magazine named "Thinking Kink: A Blog on BDSM, Feminism and Pop Culture." This doesn't only look at how pop culture represent the intersection of BDSM and LGBT community and BDSM and the and non-white community. 

This was an interesting read. Do I feel enlightening? No, but I learned some things and had some laughs. The author has a way of conveying information effectlively, but also making it entertaining. I expected a lot more of focus on 50 Shades of Grey (It pains me to put that "book's" title in italics because of how poorly it is written and how wrong it's portrayal of BDSM is. I think of it as being in a genre called "warped and fantastical sexual abuse written to enhance your masturbation experience."). I am happy to report that the author examined it, but didn't get stuck on the subject. When she did mention it, it was referred to as that book or  that trilogy, good idea. 

I am very pleased that book has an index in the back! *BIG SMILE* I recently have come across so many books that would have been a thousands times better and much easier to navigate with one. It is like people have forgotten about them.  I think the lack of including an index is part of what pushes some people to just do an Internet search for information rather than spend hours trying to skim through an entire book for what they are looking for. When I was younger almost all reference and educational books included an index.  

Who would I recommend this book to:

Definitely to people who dislike the effect that that trilogy had towards what people believe BDSM realistically is. Also to anyone who is a fan of books, movies, etc. that features BDSM scenes and themes. I know a woman who put herself in a bad situation and justified the abuse she was receiving based on pop culture's version BDSM. For the of you who read my posts about my friend leaving an abusive relationship, you know who I refer to. Some of you I gave more detail to. If any of you are curious and want to now what I am talking about just private message me in Booklikes or Goodreads. Some of the story I am not comfortable posting publicly due to the nature of the situation.

I received this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Jenny · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Thinking Kink" is a collection of essays on the intersection of feminism, BDSM sexuality, and pop culture. Catherine Scott, a BDSM practitioner herself, was inspired to write the this book as a sort of counterpoint to the wild success of the "Fifty Shades of Grey" trilogy--to show that there are more interesting pop culture examples of BDSM but also to discuss the troubling aspects of how BDSM is portrayed not just in "Fifty Shades", but in pop culture generally.

The great thing about "Thinking Kink" is how accessible it is. For those with little to no experience with BDSM, this book explains in understandable language a lifestyle and sexuality that may be strange and confounding to some. However, I personally wished the book had been a little *more* academic, delving deeper into questions about why, for example, western culture both seems to celebrate men's sexual domination over women while also fearing it. Or why certain religious groups encourage or even demand that wives "submit" to their husbands but would find ecstatic sexual submission repulsive. Or how our capitalist society makes slaves of us all. There is so much to discuss when it comes to sex, gender, and power exchange. Scott's book does a good job of discussing the basics, but I wanted to go deeper.

Additionally, "Thinking Kink" seemed to be unpolished and lacking an editor--I counted at least 5 or 6 really obvious typos throughout the book. And some sections of the book seemed slapped together without being fully realized or thought through.

Despite these criticisms, "Thinking Kink" is an interesting, accessible introduction to seeing BDSM through a feminist lens.

[Sleepless Dreamer · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I have some criticism towards the execution, the idea of this book is fascinating. It attempts to discuss bdsm through the lenses of feminism and while leaning on pop culture references. I loved this idea.

As for the content, I think the author may have bit off more than she could chew. I felt like so many fascinating ideas were presented but the discussion about them was not nearly as deep as it could have been. Moreover, the writing resembles blogs more than academics. The author occasionally cites and quotes others but in other cases, she simply shares a few anecdotes. In each topic, there's a clear message that she intends to send. She manages to do so but I wished for more of a debate, to see more perspectives.

The biggest message that I'm taking from this book is that bdsm does not exist in a vacuum. It is convenient for those who practice it to assume the fantasy elements create an alternative universe. However, racism, sexism and class elements matter even there. Between if it's outside the scene or part of it, there's room for a study of what motivates us.

As bdsm truly doesn't exist in a vacuum, will people's kinks change as we reach equality? I found myself so curious about bdsm and different cultures, where did this start and how is it different with people with different values.

The author claims that straight male doms feel guilty and are aware of their actions possibly reflecting the patriarchy. However, she explains this using anecdotes. I would have loved to see some research, to see the results of a survey showing political opinions of bdsm participants. Does participating in bdsm in any way influence how you see people, be it women or men? If you're used to seeing women as dominant, would that make you more keen for there to be a woman president or can there be a proper split between the things that turn you on and how you see others? How many bdsm practitioners are Republicans and how many are Democrats? Is it equal to the percents in their relative area?

It's easy to say that what happens in the bedroom can stay there but I find it so hard to believe that someone could surround themselves with this world and not get impacted, in one way or another. I feel like this world would fill you with an understanding of the importance of consent and simultaneously, after taking part in such scenes, wouldn't there be a part of you that would see other's through that world?

Truly, I'd love to understand more about why someone would find bdsm attractive. What exactly draws people to it and how it impacts their life? The author get her point across and I'm willing to agree that it is not trauma that leads people down this road. However, the author is so focused on sending this message that she hardly discusses why people do it.

The author has a chapter on LGBT+ bdsm however the chapter focuses on men with men and women with women when what I was most intrigued about was gender roles and how bdsm works with trans people. Much of bdsm seems to do with gender and I would have loved to see how trans people work with that. I mean, binary trans people have usually experienced life as two different genders. How does that impact their participation in bdsm?

Should bdsm be in popular culture? I remember being like 13, watching Rihanna's music video for S&M and not understanding it. As I see it, there are certain types of behavior that are acceptable when it occurs between consenting adults and is known to be a fantasy. Are these okay in other places such as music videos and ads (aka, "vanilla" spaces where people do not expect to see bdsm)?

In an ideal world, no one would be shamed for consensual behavior but should this lifestyle be encouraged? And I know I sound like the people that believe gay sex is bad but still, when teaching teens about health education, should it be mentioned?

The problem that I see is that bdsm is essentially abuse with consent. When we observe a scene from a music video or an ad, we have no way of knowing if the power was given consensually or taken away. That is, a black woman pretending to be a slave could have been empowering herself, taking control over darker sides of history or she could be doing it because her white partners suggested it and she felt pushed into it. When we see it, we don't know. It seems unwise to encourage people to see abuse and assume it is consensual.

Speaking of race, I wish I could have gotten more information as to why there are not a lot of pocs in the world of bdsm. The book provides an explanation that bdsm is an expensive middle class hobby that doesn't attract many pocs. That's not very convincing. Why do these power dynamics not interest pocs? Does every scene that includes a poc immediately become "raceplay" (which seems like another topic that should have had a conversation around it)? How does bdsm look like in South Africa? In Singapore?

There's something interesting about pain and how, on one hand, it seems a very feminine action. Women seem to be in a state of suffering, through periods, pregnancy and even things like waxing and high heels (obviously not all women but femininity). However,women's pain isn't acknowledged. I find myself thinking of Jesus and boxing, how we actually watch a man in pain as long as he is not weak. So it's interesting that within the framework of bdsm, there is room for women's pain to become a goal and not a means while men can show softness, be it as doms or as subs.

Anyway, I really wanted to take a class about war and gender but my schedule is too full so hey, maybe this kind of made up for it? I think this might be a good intro book but as I've never read anything else like it, I can't say for sure.

What I'm Taking With Me
- Do people who do bdsm even want it to be something known? It seems like the taboo and underground nature of it is appealing.
- I always think about how everything I post online might one day come back and haunt me, so hey, potential future employers, remember that this book talks about the shame that is involved with this world and how we must all combat that.
- Reading about the abuse within the community was scary and it feels like this is a community that requires a lot of courage.
- 5o Shades of Grey is a terrible book.

[Christy Baker · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm going back and forth on 2-3 stars, but in truth, while I'd say this was a somewhat interesting exploration on the topic, I can't say I found it as interesting as I was hoping. I think it delivered fairly well on it's intended three part topic, though not going back as far historically as I would have thought it might. In the end, I found I was simply less interested in the pop cultural aspects of this volume and was more interested in what the author had to present on feminism, sociology, psychology and assessments of BDSM, looking as she did at power, consent, race, gender, orientation and a range of other issues at the crossroads. In the examination of those aspects of BDSM, Scott generally made fairly good points, but occasionally I felt like it was as much a presentation of opinion, more along the lines of a good column or blog, and less the scholarly examination I thought it might be when I picked it up at the library. Not having read much in the subject, I can't speak to how it compares to other books on topic, but while it definitely provided me with some areas to consider, it didn't quite satisfy.

[Amanda Hobson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent exploration of the intersection of BDSM/Kink, feminism, and popular culture. It is especially good for those looking to engaging with the juggernaut that is Fifty Shades.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Considering I finished this on the eve of the release of Sabrina Carpenter's Man's Best Friend album release (an album plagued with discourse over the initial first album cover, accusing Sabrina of being 'anti-feminist' while bringing in many a discussion about female submissiveness in a kink/non-kink context), this seems fitting.

I really enjoyed this book. Scott brings up so many things I've thought about and fought people over online, especially within the discourse of this new Sabrina Carpenter album. Here's a few quotes that really resonated with me and got the gears turning in my head:

"We were still being pushed to end up at the same conclusion--women always participated in BDSM due to one terrible societal pressure or another, and never simply because it got them horny." -Page 3

I love this. It really displaces any sort of agency that a woman might have that she utilizes to make herself feel good, and blames some sort of outside "influence" on her interest in BDSM and taboo sexual practices, which is something that many "feminists" claim when criticizing representations of female submissiveness that were enthusiastically consented to and done on their own without influence of a man.

"If your kink preference happens to bear any vague resemblance to oppressive social structures, you're automatically accused of having been socialized into it."- Page 4

This resonates with me, as someone who has not only engaged in several sexual encounters involving an age gap (even with women), but also explored more taboo kinks with an older man, a situation that many women might immediately state I'm being groomed into doing because the prospect of me consenting to being in a d/s dynamic with aggressive BDSM scenes cannot possibly be something that I consented to without some sort of influence. Of course, concerns about grooming are 100% valid -- but I feel that sometimes folks find it easier to paint everything with one brush than to realize that the world is so much more complex and nuanced than it seems.

"Ultimately, non-kinksters and anti-kink feminists can and will wring their hands over what they perceive as terrible men who've brain-washed women into thinking they want such awful things done to them. What they fail to realize is that plenty of dominant men are already practicing self-analysis and agonizing over their desires, and that what is most liberating for these men is the realization that their female partners desire and enjoy kink play--it is the perpetuation of the myth that women are passive easily brainwashable idiots with no agency or sexual identity of their own which hinders that. And it is precisely that myth that anti-kink feminists are spreading, hardly much of a victory for women." - Page 79

One of my play partners told me how he got into kink in a conversation a few months ago, and he explained how he was raised by a mom who was a nurse, and a hardcore feminist. He grew up not only being taught about women's bodies in a way that did not hide or water down any language, but also that he should never hit a woman. He experienced a play partner in his early journey into kink who wanted him to hit her, and he had a hard time processing it, much like what this quote suggests. What helped him become comfortable with it was simple: enthusiastic consent, no more, no less. No "I guess" "if you want to" "maybe" whatsoever. For him now, we will not do anything unless I am enthusiastic and interested about doing it. For him, he gets enjoyment out of his sadistic side from an enthusiastic partner who WANTS IT. Like this quote states, anti-feminist critiques of female agency in these instances of enthusiastic consent and interest are certainly not beneficial to liberating women and allowing us to explore our sexualities freely.

"Who is truly objectifying the woman who consensually plays the footstool to her male partner: The partner with whom she's choosing to play, or the feminist who assumes she must be disempowered without bothering to actually ask her, who reduces her to a voiceless body when in fact she's a happily thinking, feeling, fully engaged human having fun with roleplay?" - Page 114-15

This can be also used not simply within the context of 'human furniture', but more taboo kinks under the realm of consensual non-consent (Freeuse, rapeplay, somnophilia, etc) as well as forms of breathplay that are certainly more controversial, such as the use of fabric or plastic bags (and maybe the inclusion of rope, too). This really describes all the issues that I have with criticisms of certain kinks, and frankly ive had many a heated conversation with play partners over this!

In later chapters, Scott addresses concerns about misunderstandings of kink and bdsm, and how abusers within the community utilize terminology as a shield, when in reality what they are doing isn't bdsm, but non-consensual violence. Fetlife user kaibrave writes about this perfectly, which I will link here. As well, in the last chapter, Scott addresses racism and concerns about race play in bdsm spaces. Rather than sharing my own thoughts, I will link the writings of Dawnsparkles, who is a Black bdsm practitioner who has shared their thoughts on the use of the "master" and "slave" dynamic and the language, considering historical connotations with enslaved Black people, especially Black women -- I will link that here.

I will include below one more quote, one that I think is one of the most important within this entire book, which really resonates with me:

"Unless, then, we are going to assume a freakish psychological root for every activity considered normal, I do not believe that BDSM necessitates the discourse of trauma and abuse that is associated with it any more than the choice to practice martial arts or the decision to eat spicy foods. It may be that everything we do as humans, is, at its roots, some kind of coping mechanism, so why single out kink? Each one of us deals with the traumas inflicted upon us at a wide societal level by corrupt governments, rotten legal systems, inadequate education and healthcare systems and the often malign influences of religion. We must all learn to operate under the distinctly dom/sub, master/slave hierarchy which capitalism imposes upon us. A childhood spanking may well be processed through a BDSM scene; it may equally be exorcised by taking up boxing. However, the scars of a lifetime spent trying to appease the capitalist beast of Western society may be the deepest ones of all, and there may be no activity which can truly provide catharsis from this." - Page 179

I really enjoyed this book and fully intend to make use of it and refer to it constantly when discussing kink with my peers. I think that, for anyone having conversations with others about the Sabrina Carpenter situation (also assuming in said conversations that Sabrina's album cover is intended to be kinky in any particular way), should read chapters 3 through six, which not only discuss mainstream representations of kink, consent, and chapters specific to the male dominant/female submissive. This was a banger to read. Check it out!

As I post this, in exactly 2 days I'll be experimenting with some especially kinky shit that would make haters of this book quake in their boots. More for me!

[Krystle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great sociological examination of kink, feminism and popular culture. I loved how Scott incorporates a lot of popular movies, tv shows and even music videos in her examination. She used an intersectional framework incorporating peer review, personal experience and a feminist lens. I also liked how Scott exposed the limitations (negatives and positives) that exist within the kink world. Further illustrating that it is a world that is not unproblematic especially for BIPOC and marginalized communities. I wish there was another chapter added that delved further into the BIPOC experience with some firsthand accounts by more individuals of their experiences positive & negative. It would have rounded the book off nicely.

[Tessa]

A professor recommended this book and I was immediately intrigued by the title. I loved the idea and as someone who studies popular culture, I was so excited to get my hands on it.

However, I was disappointed. I think the author tried too much. Chapters about LGBTQ+ people and race where rather superficial but the also is also a cisgender white woman, so I didn't expect much insight.
Even though she mentioned a couple of films and TV shows, I feel like there was a bigger focus on social studies rather than popular culture. I was hoping there'd be more examples and a deeper exploration of the topic.

[Alex · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book. Manages to criticise some of the feminists like Yasmin Alibhai Brown who in my opinion just spouts controversial comments to get publicity. The book is balanced and easy to read, due to the language not being overly academic, there's many pop references as well which doesn't hurt. Overall, it doesn't say anything new, but it is an interesting read.

[Jojo · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very comprehensive analysis of BDSM representation in pop culture. Engaging, well constructed and researched. Only the last chapter, on the relationship between kink and race, was very disappointing. The argumentation suddenly gets confused and relies on whataboutism to delegitimize the antiracist arguments against particular aspects of BDSM.

[bibliophilechic · Rating 4 out of 5]

Super interesting and informative, and accessible

[Clare Lune · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really wish there were more books like this.

[Natty S · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the book I wish I could have read twenty years ago when I was first coming to terms with my kinkiness and/or would have written when I was blogging about kink fifteen years ago. Written as a reaction to the media/societal explosion regarding Fifty Shades of Grey (which I still haven't read yet!)--or that book/trilogy as Scott prefers to call it throughout her book, she explores the various complexities of BDSM roles both within and outside of the kink community. And she gives it all the nuance it deserves. Many of the chapters appeared originally as a series of articles for Bitch Magazine and while it's not exactly an academic work, it does assume a certain educational background (i.e. at least some college).

If you're a self-loathing kinkster or not kinky but trying to make sense of why any self-respecting feminist (particularly a feminist of color) would engage in behavior that Amanda Marcotte once referred to as "fucked the fucked up" with regard to myself and a few other women featured in a Bitch piece by a different author, Catherine Scott will help sort you out.

[sam]

A comprehensive but occasionally shallow exploration of kink as depicted in mainstream media, and how that relates to experiences and paradigms within the bdsm subculture. There are some great moments; Scott looks at a variety of power exchange configurations and their implications, otherwise overlooked in most texts regarding Kink (the passage on lesbian kink being particularly insightful). Note that the author references Secretary and Eurotrip a LOT 😬

[Laura May · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the most fascinating and thought-provoking books I've ever read. I've been recommending this book all over the place. It's accessible (not too academic, and I think not too confronting), feminist, and raises a lot of questions re previously unquestioned tropes. Worth the read.

[Fev · Rating 1 out of 5]

lo único salvable de este libro es la bibliografía