How to Die: Chaos, Mortality, and the Scandal of Christian Discipleship

by Joshua S. Porter

Anyone disenchanted with institutionalized religion and desperate for something real will welcome this subversive book’s call to abandon performative faith and rediscover the radical way of Jesus.

This isn’t another feel-good Christian book—it’s an unfiltered, unapologetic guide to dying to yourself.

Blending storytelling, raw liturgy, and counter-cultural faith, Joshua Porter rips through the safe, sanitized versions of Christianity and reclaims the gritty, disruptive truth of the gospel. How to Die weaves together biblical narrative, ancient creeds, and personal story in a way that dares us to reconsider what it means to follow Jesus.

This book isn’t here to affirm what you already know. It’s here to wreck your assumptions, shake your faith, and challenge you to follow Jesus beyond disillusionment and into authentic discipleship.

Features bonus audio content by the author not available in the printed version of the book.

Genres: Christian, Christian Living

Audible Audio

Published August 5, 2025

About the author

Joshua S. Porter is pastor of teaching and creative vision at Van City Church in Vancouver, Washington. He is also a former member of the experimental art-punk band, Showbread, and the author of With All Its Teeth, Death to Deconstruction, novel Punk Rock Vs. the Lizard People.

Find out more and connect with Joshua at joshuasporter.com.

Reviews

[Tim Wright · Rating 5 out of 5]

How To Die has such a lovely cadence and rhythm that not only paints vivid mental images, but stamps the soul with wonder and beauty as you revel in the reality of what it means to be the beloved of Jesus.

A mix of poetry, immersive storytelling, and Scriptures re-told to a modern audience, I would find myself lost in another time, in another’s shoes, feeling deeply for characters from Scripture in ways I had not before, and then seeing it’s really the same today, the same for me.

“Love intervenes.”

[Whitney DePaoli · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very inspiring. I particularly loved the stories and parables of the Bible retold in such an immersive way, with detailed imagery and context that made me feel so much more for the Biblical texts.

[Kendra · Rating 5 out of 5]

“She sees then that while God did not engineer her suffering, he did design her redemption—glorious to behold. As she passes through the sea, her heart begins to thaw. An old callus warms, erodes, and falls away.”

I loved this, found myself not wanting to put it down. This book is so uniquely and beautifully written. The way he retells well known biblical stories brings the passages to life. A piece of art for the world to read!!

[Joan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is an odd collection of essays and creative fiction. The essays are on various topics from sex to using oaths, from showing mercy to murder, from money to identity. The creative stories consist of fascinating retelling of Bible passages. He brings Bible stories to life with imaginative scenes. An example is the wail of a mom as the Egyptians take away her child to throw it into the Nile. Other imaginative stories include retelling of Jesus' parables and events in church history. He has even created a few parables of his own.

Porter says God “has wired our brains for stories...” (120) He is a wordsmith and creates engaging stories. Even many of the essays are in sort of story form.

I am unsure of the value of this collection of writings. I liked the imaginative retelling of biblical stories and events. They inspired me to live into them, imagining them for myself. Most of the essays are interesting and suitable for discussion in a small group. I did think there would be more about the idea of dying, about the Lord's call to give up our lives for Him. There was a bit at the very end but that is all I could identify.

I received a complimentary digital copy of this book from the publisher. My comments are an independent and honest review.

[Tucker Dobson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is not what you may be expecting. Content specifically aimed at outlining spiritual disciplines accounts for only about 15% of the book.

And I do think that's for the best. We're often very practical in our business driven, capitalistic, utilitarian sort of American culture. If it isn't of obvious practical importance, we don't like to sit with it. This book is an opportunity to reorient how we think about life with Jesus: it is restful.

This is a book full of meditation on the great big love story we're caught up in. It contains prayers and creeds to read out loud and recite. It reframes parables in a way that makes their impact immediate.

And why? Why this artistic amalgam? I think it's because Josh would rather not convince you of the usefulness of discipleship, its benefits of mental and spiritual health (though he does make note of such things once or twice). I think he would rather paint a picture of the Master so compelling and beautiful that the practices of discipleship just make sense. Health lasts for a while; He abides forever.

With me as the audience, at least, he has succeeded. All I can conclude at the end is, "I love the master. I want to serve Him." Nothing else will motivate me at the deepest level.

[Keana Zoradi · Rating 5 out of 5]

“No apprentice is fundamentally an artist, or mother, or plumber. The identity of the apprentice is always and unchanging: beloved of God. This identity weathers all storms and suffering, vested deep within us before we knew our vocation or could carry it out, and continues to identify us long after whatever career contribution we have or haven't made is a thing of the past.”

This is one of the few books I’ll be coming back around to again and again. The narrative form is unique, beautiful, poetic, and left me in tears a few different times - feeling the overwhelm of God’s love for me and his kids.

[Jake Owen · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my favorite books I’ve ever read. It has all the elements of Porters writing that one comes to expect and yet it is new and fresh and exciting. The whole book is basically on the narrative of dying throughout the scripture, history, and our own life, mixed with some practical help. Every Christian should read this to get lost in the story they committed to once again.

[Nick Lawrence · Rating 4 out of 5]

Less black nail polish than you’d think.
4.5 stars.

[Werner Braun · Rating 3 out of 5]

How to Die: Chaos, Mortality, and the Scandal of Christian Discipleship von Joshua S. Porter ist in drei größere Teile gegliedert und arbeitet stark mit biblischen Nacherzählungen. Diese sind sprachlich lebendig, gut erzählt und emotional zugänglich. Der Autor versteht es, Szenen plastisch darzustellen und Leserinnen und Leser hineinzuziehen. Gerade stilistisch liest sich das Buch flüssig und teilweise mitreißend.

Inhaltlich bleibt jedoch vieles hinter den Erwartungen zurück. Die biblischen Geschichten sind häufig stark verkürzt und dienen eher als illustrative Beispiele denn als theologisch reflektierte Auslegung. Dadurch wirken manche Deutungen oberflächlich oder theologisch unbefriedigend.

Das Buch greift zentrale Motive christlicher Jüngerschaft auf – Sterben, Loslassen, Chaos, Endlichkeit –, bleibt dabei aber oft vage. Vor allem der Titel wirft Fragen auf: Die Verbindung zwischen dem programmatischen Titel How to Die und dem eigentlichen Inhalt erschließt sich erst sehr spät und auch dann nur ansatzweise. Wer eine tiefere Auseinandersetzung mit Tod, Kreuzestheologie oder radikaler Nachfolge erwartet, wird eher enttäuscht.

Insgesamt bietet das Buch keine wirklich neuen Einsichten oder originellen theologischen Perspektiven. Es erinnert in vielem an bereits bekannte Impulse aus der Jüngerschaftsliteratur, ohne diese weiterzuführen oder zu vertiefen.

Fazit:
Ein sprachlich ansprechendes, gut erzähltes Buch, das jedoch inhaltlich und theologisch hinter seinem Anspruch zurückbleibt. Für Leserinnen und Leser, die eine erzählerische Annäherung an Nachfolge schätzen, mag es ansprechend sein – wer jedoch Substanz, Tiefe oder neue Perspektiven sucht, kann darauf verzichten.

[RJ NLC · Rating 3 out of 5]

This one was a pretty good read. A good portion was a retelling of familiar portions of Scripture, especially the Beatitudes and was written rather creatively. There were definitely a few areas I found I disagreed on, but as it is with any teaching, book, etc, I find it a poor practice to throw out the baby with the bathwater.

The title of the book, in my opinion, isn't very telling as to what can be expected of the contents, but I suspect that may be by design. The latter half of the book discusses some practical applications and ideas of ways to walk out our faith in Christ and also expanded on some of the first half.

From what I know of the author, his previous work in music as well as other books, his creativity and command of a rather expansive vocabulary are on full display in "How To Die".

From this read, my big takeaways are on love. First, on ways to show it to others as we represent Christ in the way we live. Secondly, on how loved we all are by God. And finally, the book closes with the invitation extended to the reader to receive the greatest love they could ever know; the love of God shown to us through Jesus Christ.

[Jess Rashmawy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to the audio version of this book while at work, so it’s definitely one I will revisit in print. I loved the retelling of some well known biblical stories, the one sticking with me the most being Peter’s. I also love the reminder of what it is to take up your cross and follow Jesus. Porter gives many examples of what it can look like to “die to yourself”. I found this helpful in examining my own life and a good reminder of things I personally need to work on and be more aware of.

[Tylar Lee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some minor theological quibbles but very small. I had hard time connecting with this book solely because I believe it was written for those newer in the path towards and with Christ. I would defiantly recommend for anyone newer to the faith and hope Josh keeps writing. He is a storyteller and I greatly enjoyed his previous work “Death to Deconstruction”.

[Nick · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love the way Porter thinks and writes, and this was no exception. Beautifully written primer on Christian discipleship. I’d say that his retelling of the Prodigal Son moved me to tears, but the reality is that the Holy Spirit used Porter’s retelling to comfort me, remind me that I’m known and loved, and brought tears to my eyes.

[D.J. Morgan · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is hard to imagine a retelling of the most potent and visceral words of Jesus that would hit harder and with such grace than the words of this book. Thank you, Joshua, for your willingness to put yourself and more than yourself into these pages and share them with those in need of an awakening of spirit and a rekindling of desire to serve the Master.

[Cameron · Rating 5 out of 5]

A refreshing retelling of scripture alongside personal stories and sermons of sorts (though I hesitate to say sermon as they are not “preachy”). A solid supplement to allow scripture to sink in and to understand well worn stories in new ways.

[Danny Burr · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book, beautiful in its presentation and encouraging in its challenge. Can't recommend enough, this book and the author.

[Abby Hyde · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars rounded to 4.

Modern parables throughout the Old and New Testament. The story of God’s people and how we die with our Savior as we follow Him.

A bit odd in the best way.

[Kristen Farmer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely excellent - stunning read to a Jesus follower, but also written for those who are navigating faith and questions. Beautiful presentation of truth and the Gospel.