Selfish: Unlearning, Reclaiming, and Telling the Truth

by Kerry Docherty

In this provocative memoir, one woman discovers that after years spent prioritizing other people's needs (her husband, their business, their children) over her own, she has reached a threshold she is ready to putting herself first.

Women everywhere are wrestling with all kinds of self-development perfectionism, boundaries, people pleasing, the pressures of mothering, the patriarchy, having a career. There are, of course, books to help us cope with each of these discrete issues, but what if the next frontier in all manner of personal growth is to put ourselves first? What if we reclaimed the word selfish to ignite a movement of women who actually do what they want?

In this beautifully crafted and propulsive memoir, Kerry Docherty—a businesswoman, mother of two, and wife—details her journey to rediscover parts of herself buried under other people's expectations, and how counterintuitively, the more she focused on saying yes to the things that made her feel good, and no to the things that did not, the more she overflowed with creativity, ease, presence, and purpose.

In cinematic detail and with breathtaking honesty, Kerry describes the events that made her realize she was giving too much of herself—to a marriage with her college sweetheart that wasn't as fulfilling as she'd hoped, to the family startup, and to the growing family that demanded attention she didn’t always want to give. Determined to feel seen as the woman she wanted to be—an artist, activist, poet, romantic—she began to steal simple moments for herself, replacing her to-do lists with poems, pushing the business towards the things she cared about, and widening her circle of creative friends. As Kerry chased her desire to be understood, however, she found herself veering into a potentially destructive and ambiguous relationship that would seriously test her marriage.

Along her journey to self-understanding, Kerry wrestled with the demands of capitalism, complicated family dynamics, what it means to be good and bad, and the consequences of telling the truth. With incisive observation, biting humor, and a willingness to start uncomfortable conversations, Selfish is an unapologetic call to action for women everywhere.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Memoir

336 pages, Hardcover

Expected publication April 21, 2026

Reviews

[*TUDOR^QUEEN* · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 Stars

This was an interesting, unabashedly honest memoir from a young woman who runs a successful clothing company with her husband, brother-in-law, and mother-in-law. She ruminates on the shifting state of her marriage, parenthood, environmental concerns, finances/housing, and a simmering, tempting attraction in her life. She seeks out marital therapy, group therapy (including the brother-in-law), and visits to psychics. Her thought processes and the ways she spoke to her children were all fascinating to me. Some interesting passages I connected with:

"...peering in windows from the sidewalk, imagining how another person's life was unfolding within wallpapered rooms."

"Alone time was as important for my soul as sleep."

"Meeting my children's constant needs hijacked the other parts of myself that made me feel alive: my time, my independence, my creativity, my sensuality..."

"The sediment was slowly falling back to the bottom of the shaken-up snow globe of our marriage."

She's a woman who is not afraid to confront issues and stand up for herself and her needs. The writing style is both straightforward and lovely. I appreciate the authenticity and bravery of the author in writing this book.

Thank you to the publisher Convergent / Harmony who provided an advance reader copy via NetGalley.

[tei hurst · Rating 5 out of 5]

this was recommended to me because i enjoyed amy griffin’s “the tell”, and truly, this is the same caliber of beautiful memoir about how sometimes, all someone wishes for is to be seen, to be heard. i truly enjoyed this.

thank you netgalley for the ARC copy.

[Amber Sipior · Rating 2 out of 5]

Thank you to Netgalley for this ARC. The author has written a memoir that I wanted to connect to, but struggled to do so. She grew up in Buffalo, NY; I've lived in Western New York for almost thirty years. She had traumatic birth experiences; so did I. She gets energy from being on her own and taking time for herself; I do, too. But the priviledge she has been blessed with in her life was a huge barrier to the connection I was hoping for while reading. Everyone is allowed to feel their feelings, and she is thankful for what she has. But it was hard to read about her struggles- the financial ones in particular- while reading about all the trips she took, four-and-five-star hotels she stayed in, summers spent at vacation homes, the hiring of a full time nanny... She does a very good job of admitting her flaws, and of admitting that she doesn't tell the full story of her marriage. I think the barriers I had while reading are more of a "me" problem.

[Lucy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I tore through this book, it spoke so deeply to parts of me I didn’t know could be spoken to, its funny and heartbreaking and honest about the parts of life like children and marriage and family, and the desires and expectations that go along with it.
It reads like an instagram caption of the good ole days when they were story length and captivating and the ramblings of someone’s inner mind.
The first two thirds felt more like a woven tale with the end feeling like a slightly vague conclusion that concluded without really concluding anything. However that is also the nature of this writing when one gets to the present day of life you have to stop.
I hope we see more from Kerry, it reminded me of Jedidiah Jenkins work, and the grappling of life that we go through in phases of life
Thank you to NetGalley and Harmony Books Random house for the ARC.

[M. Sarki · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not my cup of tea. Too much new-age sort of stuff and weirdness. If the book gets better later then she should have started there.

[Jeremy Reppy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Near the end of the book, the author, in discussing the opposition by family and friends to her publishing this book, states in part, "I am prioritizing my own desire for unbridled, creative truth telling over others' comfort and feelings. I am writing this book because I want. Because it's important to me. Because it has helped me come alive again, even if it's destroyed parts of me and relationships in the aftermath. ... I need to be authentic. I need to be tender and vulnerable. I need to be resolute that I am worthy of sharing my voice and my experiences and my life."

The author has succeeded fairly well in that goal, sharing about her life, thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors, including things that cast her in a negative light. Such as her lengthy emotional affair with a musician (whom she refers to in the book as Beau). And her assertion to her husband that while she recognizes the way she betrayed him and caused him pain, she refused to feel ashamed of her behavior/actions. She cheerfully tells stories about her childhood behavior, which could have been taken from a guidebook for future psychopaths or serial killers.

I think the author tries to be authentic -- talking about the struggles working with her husband and his twin brother to build the company they founded; not feeling appreciated by them for what she did for the business; conflicts due to their different personalities and strengths; what she enjoyed most about her work; her relationship with Beau; how motherhood changed her; her experiences with therapy; her experiences with different religious belief systems; her experiences with various types of alternative or non-traditional (i.e., non-Western) healing practices; her poetry, etc.

However, she also seems determined to ensure that readers realize that she is "woke." She talks about watching the video of George Floyd's death and then hosting digital conversations about witnessing black grief, being a "good" white person, and learning from Indigenous communities, and posting about these conversations on the company Instagram page. She talks about collaborations she arranged between Indigenous individuals and her clothing company. She likes to brag about her social justice/advocacy activities. The things she has done/is doing have value, and I believe she sincerely cares about the causes she advocates for/participates in. However, the context in which she discusses these activities makes it often come across as humble bragging or an effort to make sure that readers perceive her a certain way.

That is not true of some of the other topics she addresses in the book. For example, I don't think she cares what readers think about her emotional affair with Beau. And in discussing her issues with her husband and his twin brother regarding the company, she wants to make sure the reader understands her perspective, but she also attempts to explain the perspective of her husband and his brother and acknowledges where their concerns/criticism have merit.

[Alicia Webster · Rating 1 out of 5]

There are so many things that I could say about this book. I could advise potential readers to "run, run, run" in the opposite direction, and to never look back. I could offer up this book as the opposite of a "self-help" book but more accurately, a "self-harm" book. One in which, if you follow the prescribed dictates, your life, and more importantly, the lives of those around you, will be irrevocably damaged, whether seen or unseen. But I won't do any of this. My job, as a reviewer, is not to pass judgment on what I believe the author should not have said or done or written about. My job is to assess whether the aims and the goals of the author have been successfully achieved in the body of this work. And if I am fair, then I would have to say that, yes, they were. The title of the book says everything that you need to know about what is between its covers. If you can imagine an existence in which a person executes her life in such a way that every last thought, desire, action, and intention is gloriously, and unabashedly centered around one's self, then this might be the book for you. If you desire to read about how the needs of husbands, children, family members and friends are routinely relegated to the "not my problem" dustbin, then this might be the book for you. If reading a book about someone who seemingly has no conscience, and who appears to delight in that possibility, then this might be the book for you. There is no doubt, an extreme level of honesty in this memoir. It reads very much like diary or journal entries. There is a reason however why most diaries are published posthumously, rather than while the writer is still alive. Not for the protection of the writer, but more for the collateral damage that ultimately befalls the writer's family members. I am not sure that the author took this into account, before embarking on this very singular, or should I say "Selfish" journey. ** I received an ARC from NetGalley, but all views are my own.

[Kimberly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. It's not going to be everyone's cup of tea and that's okay. I can appreciate that. It's a telling of Kerry's life and how she finds balance being a mom, wife, entrepreneur and human. She discusses the struggles of starting a business with family and how hard it is to keep boundaries. She discusses a friendship that she develops with a musician that blurs the lines of an affair. Then she begins life as a mom. It's a struggle to keep up with being you as you now have someone else to take care of. I also lost my sense of self while raising my kids so it really hit home for me. She also brings up good points as to the sacrifices that women are expected to make once there are children in the picture but are not expected of men. The way she writes and bring mindfulness and nature into everyday living is absolutely beautiful. If only more people were as aware and open of their feelings and how everything is seemingly connected. While I did not think she painted her husband, Al as the bad guy, I can see how he thought he was protrayed in a negative light. I think that you don't know what you don't know and it seems like for years he had blinders on that gave him tunnel vision for his buisness. They both did a lot of growing over the years and you tell by their interactions by the end of the book. While there is bad stuff that happens in life, it helps us grow and appreciate the good stuff. This book gave me a lot to think about in regards to my own interactions with not only people in my life but with nature and with myself. It has also reminded me that I need to meditate and journal more often.

[Emily Pukuma · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kerry Docherty—cofounder of the sustainable clothing brand Faherty, former lacrosse player, lawyer, and mindfulness coach—reflects on a long struggle to be seen, by others and by herself. As she helps build a values-driven company from the ground up, she takes on countless roles, pouring her energy into work, partnership, and caretaking, often at the expense of her own boundaries and inner life.

At the center of this memoir is Kerry’s reckoning with emotional honesty: within marriage, within creative pursuits, and within herself. She explores how unmet needs, people-pleasing, and blurred lines accumulate over time, eventually forcing difficult conversations into the open. Writing and self-reflection become tools not for easy resolution, but for clearer seeing.

Docherty’s voice is candid and frequently funny, and her stories are intentionally messy. This is not a memoir of tidy transformation, but of ongoing self-awareness—one that resists simple conclusions. Rather than defining selfishness, the book asks what we mean when we use that word at all.

Selfish will resonate with readers drawn to introspective memoirs about identity, ambition, creativity, and relationships, especially those interested in the uneasy balance between selfhood and devotion. It leaves its questions open, inviting readers to sit with the discomfort rather than resolve it.

[Sandy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Memoirs should be engaging and witty or informative and aspirational. This book is none of these. Written by Kerry Docherty, this is a woke woman who, like most woman, doesn't set boundaries, allows herself to give too much and take to little and who spreads herself too thin. To correct these situations, Kerry speaks with her numerous therapists to try and get back to her authentic self. She works and lives with her husband and his twin brother, as they work to start a sustainable clothing company. Kerry feels she is underappreciated, not paid appropriately per her contributions to the company and wants change.

I found this memoir boring and the author whiny. A part of me wanted to tell this woman, get your big girl panties on and stand up for yourself. If you don't like how you are being treated, you are the one who taught people how to treat you, you can change it. If you don't like the amount you are being paid, speak up and find out what can be done, can other compensation be utilized in lieu of pay. Change comes from within and this book tries to reflect it, it's not the message, it's the way the message was written that is a huge turnoff for me as a reader. The book skips from one crisis or conscience of crisis, there is no organic flow to the book, nor to its message.

[lauren · Rating 3 out of 5]

docherty’s memoir is an easy read. i was drawn in by the title…who doesn’t need to feel selfish at times in order to make it through these days?!
kerry meets and falls in love with alex faherty, a young man with a dream of starting his own clothing company. his partners include his twin, mike, and their mother, ninie. kerry signs on to the business two months later.
selfish explores their journey with faherty and the impact it has on their marriage, their decision to start a family, their friendships, their finances, and their everyday lives. it’s easy to see a company thriving from the consumer’s point of view. docherty’s book allows a peek behind the changing room curtain and shares the highs and the (very low) lows with readers.
kudos to kerry for sharing her truths.

thank you to convergent for providing this book for review consideration via netgalley. all opinions are my own.

[Chelsea Walsh · Rating 3 out of 5]

In her memoir, Selfish, Kerry Docherty candidly explores the journey of reclaiming her identity after years of prioritizing the needs of her family and business. The book is at its best when Docherty vulnerably recounts the inner conflict of a woman who has given so much of herself that she no longer recognizes who she is. However, some readers may find the narrative a bit repetitive, as the same core message is revisited throughout. While relatable in its exploration of a common dilemma, the memoir sometimes leans into a privileged perspective, making the emotional stakes feel lower for those outside of a similar life experience. Ultimately, Docherty's honesty is commendable, but the book could have been a more engaging read with a tighter focus.

[Tam📖 · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to Harmony and NetGalley for the ARC.

I have been loving women’s memoirs lately. Mama Love. Belle Burden… and now the one lone woman behind the Faherty Brand (along with her husband and brother in law)

I really did enjoy her message that women need to be selfish for health reasons and for her own sanity.

My favorite passage:

Alone time was as important for my soul as sleep. Like an oyster turning a piece of sand into a pearl, I needed solitude to alchemize my irritability and my nihilism into something valuable and beautiful. And in order to have that time alone, I needed to steal moments like a thief: A solo car ride. A bath. Another walk.

[Cathy · Rating 3 out of 5]

In Selfish, Kerry Docherty, wrestles with questions of identity as she launches a brand with her husband and his family. The story shifts between several areas, including her role at the company, her relationships with another man and her husband, her role as a mother, her spiritual growth, and her longing to be a writer. The book appears to lose focus along the way, as it encompasses numerous different ideas. It seems to wrap up quickly without really returning to the central theme of the title. It may have been better to choose a narrower focus.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Selfish: Unlearning, Reclaiming, and Telling the Truth by Kerry Docherty was a memoir that I couldn't put down. She pulls back the curtain on what it felt like to build a business, and entering a family/marriage who already had the business' dream. It felt vulnerable and healing to read her story. Would recommend this one, several stories were relatable, and overall just being a wife, mother and woman in today's chaotic world felt real.

Thank you to the publisher for this advanced reader copy in exchange for my honest review. Selfish publishes April 21, 2026.

[Marianne Kaplan · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.0. This book was interesting but not compelling. I considered not finishing it toward the end, but decided to finish it. It's the story of a woman struggling to be true to herself while balancing her natural instincts to take care of everyone in her life instead of herself. The memoir talks about her struggles and resolution to difficult situations. I didn't feel particularly connected to the main character, Kerry, nor to others in her sphere of influence. Do not recommend this book

[Gideon Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Received a copy from Convergent.

[Zibby Owens · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOW!!! Couldn't put down.

[Alihyland · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 1/2 stars