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Leave Your Mess at Home
“Tolani Akinola is a gifted, powerful new voice in American fiction.”—Rachel Khong, New York Times bestselling author of Real Americans
"A warm, smart, hilarious, delicious, riveting" (Curtis Sittenfeld) debut about the uncomfortable, unbreakable ties of family as four adult siblings come home to confront the state of their own lives and each other
The Longe siblings are really botching their parents' American Dream.
Sola Longe, eldest daughter, estranged from the family, is secretly back home in Chicago for the first time in a decade. She’s a newly single and recently disgraced influencer trying to quietly put her life back together again. The other three Longe siblings aren't doing much better.
Anjola is in love with her best friend, who just got engaged to someone else; Karen, a college junior and the baby of the family, is grappling with her sexuality and self-image; and Ola, the golden child with a baby of his own on the way, is questioning his marriage and how to raise a Black son in America.
Sola’s unexpected return sets them on a crash course towards each other, and when the four siblings find themselves together again at their Nigerian immigrant parents' Thanksgiving table, a decade’s worth of secrets and a lifetime of resentments explode to the fore.
In the wreckage of their fateful reunion, each Longe is forced to reckon with the past, take stock of what really matters, and find a way back to each other. Big-hearted, hilarious, and poignant, Leave Your Mess At Home is an insightful debut about forgiveness, unconditional love, and becoming who you want to be, asking the what do we owe to our families, and what do we owe to ourselves?
"A warm, smart, hilarious, delicious, riveting" (Curtis Sittenfeld) debut about the uncomfortable, unbreakable ties of family as four adult siblings come home to confront the state of their own lives and each other
The Longe siblings are really botching their parents' American Dream.
Sola Longe, eldest daughter, estranged from the family, is secretly back home in Chicago for the first time in a decade. She’s a newly single and recently disgraced influencer trying to quietly put her life back together again. The other three Longe siblings aren't doing much better.
Anjola is in love with her best friend, who just got engaged to someone else; Karen, a college junior and the baby of the family, is grappling with her sexuality and self-image; and Ola, the golden child with a baby of his own on the way, is questioning his marriage and how to raise a Black son in America.
Sola’s unexpected return sets them on a crash course towards each other, and when the four siblings find themselves together again at their Nigerian immigrant parents' Thanksgiving table, a decade’s worth of secrets and a lifetime of resentments explode to the fore.
In the wreckage of their fateful reunion, each Longe is forced to reckon with the past, take stock of what really matters, and find a way back to each other. Big-hearted, hilarious, and poignant, Leave Your Mess At Home is an insightful debut about forgiveness, unconditional love, and becoming who you want to be, asking the what do we owe to our families, and what do we owe to ourselves?
384 pages, Hardcover
First published April 14, 2026
215 people are currently reading
15076 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 221 reviews
May 2, 2026
words to live by
(thanks to the publisher for the e-arc)
(thanks to the publisher for the e-arc)
April 21, 2026
Overall I enjoyed this novel about four Nigerian siblings living in Chicago. Sola, the eldest daughter, is back home for the first time after having been estranged from her family. Anjola, the second eldest daughter, is in love with her best friend who is getting married to someone else. Karen, a college junior and the youngest sibling is confronting her sexuality and who she wants to be in this stage of her life. And Ola, the only male sibling, has mixed feelings about embarking on the journey of fatherhood with his wife. Sola’s return to the family after many years away catalyzes changes that force each of the siblings to figure out who they are and what they’re willing to go for in each of their messy lives.
There were several elements of this novel that I really liked. First, I felt that Tolani Akinola nailed the family estrangement dynamic with Sola. Loved reading about how she navigated that and how her siblings responded, took accountability, grew in their understanding, etc. Each character also had a respectable growth arc (Ola’s I was kinda eh about, I think the ambivalence about being a parent could have been more richly explored, it was okay though.) Sola coming into herself after being in a mid interracial relationship, Anjola confronting her desires, and Karen developing confidence in herself and her sexuality were all moving and meaningful. Props to Akinola to writing a positive portrayal of therapy within Sola’s arc, and I was deeply in my feels about how Anjola’s story ended up because it was so relatable as an accomplished person who unfortunately still does not have everything I want in life.
The main constructive critique I have about this book is that I did find the writing style a bit predictable and not that exciting, especially for the first half of the book. For the first half of the book I was pretty certain I would give it a 3-3.5 at the highest. However, the way things came together for each of the characters in the second half impressed me enough for me to give it four stars instead. And, appreciated that Akinola truly decentered white characters/white love interests and focused on Black/Nigerian characters in this novel. If you’re into realistic fiction about family and relationships, you may want to check this one out!
There were several elements of this novel that I really liked. First, I felt that Tolani Akinola nailed the family estrangement dynamic with Sola. Loved reading about how she navigated that and how her siblings responded, took accountability, grew in their understanding, etc. Each character also had a respectable growth arc (Ola’s I was kinda eh about, I think the ambivalence about being a parent could have been more richly explored, it was okay though.) Sola coming into herself after being in a mid interracial relationship, Anjola confronting her desires, and Karen developing confidence in herself and her sexuality were all moving and meaningful. Props to Akinola to writing a positive portrayal of therapy within Sola’s arc, and I was deeply in my feels about how Anjola’s story ended up because it was so relatable as an accomplished person who unfortunately still does not have everything I want in life.
The main constructive critique I have about this book is that I did find the writing style a bit predictable and not that exciting, especially for the first half of the book. For the first half of the book I was pretty certain I would give it a 3-3.5 at the highest. However, the way things came together for each of the characters in the second half impressed me enough for me to give it four stars instead. And, appreciated that Akinola truly decentered white characters/white love interests and focused on Black/Nigerian characters in this novel. If you’re into realistic fiction about family and relationships, you may want to check this one out!
September 24, 2025
4.5 ☆
This was simply beautiful. Heartbreaking, thought-provoking, and oh so real.
First, I liked the writing. This is written in third person limited from the prospective of each sibling (and even the mother getting her own chapter). I feel that this prospective was perfect to tell this story as it allowed me to properly observe the story as if I were in the room or walking alongside the characters.
Each person was messy and imperfect and at times incredibly unlikeable and that just made me enjoy their journey's that much more. They weren't created to be liked, but you couldn't help but love and feel for them because of how realistic they were. While I couldn't relate to the characters' main struggles, I found bits in each that truly spoke to me. I couldn't help but to root for them.
I'd say the ending was bittersweet. They spent a lot of time angry, confused, and insecure and yes, there was some goodness at the end, but I saw it as the beginning of their journeys. They still have a ways to go of accepting themselves, healing relationships, etc. and I like that thought more than everything being okay at the end. Healing is a long journey and I think the author did a great job of showing that.
There were even funny moments! It was nice to laugh away some of my tears.
Utterly unputdownable and amazing for a debut. Everyone should definitely give it a read.
** There's not a TWs page but be mindful that there are mentions of child molestation, chastisement, and abuse. They're not incredibly detailed and the mentions are brief, but they are there.
Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for access to this ARC in exchange for a review!
⤷ Fave quotes:
• 'Knowing what she wants out of life is a hard thing. If she had to describe what she's done so far to, say, a blank-faced God on Judgement Day, she thinks she would say it's mostly been a mixture of what she's been told to do and what seems right. Want is something else entirely.'
• 'She realizes that she keeps trying to bargain herself into the life designed for her and then making small compromises to inch outside of it.'
• 'Learning this late that love takes kindling and stoking work, diligent effort, that it isn't just handed to you? The same way she's had to learn, this late, that she even deserves love at all?
This was simply beautiful. Heartbreaking, thought-provoking, and oh so real.
First, I liked the writing. This is written in third person limited from the prospective of each sibling (and even the mother getting her own chapter). I feel that this prospective was perfect to tell this story as it allowed me to properly observe the story as if I were in the room or walking alongside the characters.
Each person was messy and imperfect and at times incredibly unlikeable and that just made me enjoy their journey's that much more. They weren't created to be liked, but you couldn't help but love and feel for them because of how realistic they were. While I couldn't relate to the characters' main struggles, I found bits in each that truly spoke to me. I couldn't help but to root for them.
I'd say the ending was bittersweet. They spent a lot of time angry, confused, and insecure and yes, there was some goodness at the end, but I saw it as the beginning of their journeys. They still have a ways to go of accepting themselves, healing relationships, etc. and I like that thought more than everything being okay at the end. Healing is a long journey and I think the author did a great job of showing that.
There were even funny moments! It was nice to laugh away some of my tears.
Utterly unputdownable and amazing for a debut. Everyone should definitely give it a read.
** There's not a TWs page but be mindful that there are mentions of child molestation, chastisement, and abuse. They're not incredibly detailed and the mentions are brief, but they are there.
Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for access to this ARC in exchange for a review!
⤷ Fave quotes:
• 'Knowing what she wants out of life is a hard thing. If she had to describe what she's done so far to, say, a blank-faced God on Judgement Day, she thinks she would say it's mostly been a mixture of what she's been told to do and what seems right. Want is something else entirely.'
• 'She realizes that she keeps trying to bargain herself into the life designed for her and then making small compromises to inch outside of it.'
• 'Learning this late that love takes kindling and stoking work, diligent effort, that it isn't just handed to you? The same way she's had to learn, this late, that she even deserves love at all?
April 13, 2026
Thank you to Viking Penguin, Pamela Dorman Books, and NetGalley for the eARC! Greatly appreciated :)
This book's bittersweet story about the lives of Ola, Sola, Anjola, and Karen navigating their lives of being children of Nigerian immigrants was something fresh and in a way, very inspiring and relatable. I lowkey feel that I resonated most with Karen, especially with trying to be the person my mother wants me to be but wanting to pave her own path and do what feels right for her. Her also being a lesbian black woman also made her story all the more interesting and relatable, but everyone's stories and how they intertwined with each other and how their parents shaped their lives and relationships with others.....wow.
This book was so well written and even though I'm not really well versed with familial contemporary fiction, this is was very well done. Reading about Sola's story was so heartbreaking, and I felt like a could relate to each of the sibling's experiences. From Anjola having feelings for a best friend of years who loves someone else, to Ola's experience of never really knowing or feeling adequate enough as a partner, to Sola's experience of always being the one who had to be the prim and proper child and always being on the receiving end of her mother's scorn, and to Karen's experience of her feelings towards women and feeling like she has to fit in a certain box to be validated and appreciated by her mother.....just wow. Akinola did her BIG ONE with this one. For this to be a debut.....is absolutely incredible and impressive.
This book's bittersweet story about the lives of Ola, Sola, Anjola, and Karen navigating their lives of being children of Nigerian immigrants was something fresh and in a way, very inspiring and relatable. I lowkey feel that I resonated most with Karen, especially with trying to be the person my mother wants me to be but wanting to pave her own path and do what feels right for her. Her also being a lesbian black woman also made her story all the more interesting and relatable, but everyone's stories and how they intertwined with each other and how their parents shaped their lives and relationships with others.....wow.
This book was so well written and even though I'm not really well versed with familial contemporary fiction, this is was very well done. Reading about Sola's story was so heartbreaking, and I felt like a could relate to each of the sibling's experiences. From Anjola having feelings for a best friend of years who loves someone else, to Ola's experience of never really knowing or feeling adequate enough as a partner, to Sola's experience of always being the one who had to be the prim and proper child and always being on the receiving end of her mother's scorn, and to Karen's experience of her feelings towards women and feeling like she has to fit in a certain box to be validated and appreciated by her mother.....just wow. Akinola did her BIG ONE with this one. For this to be a debut.....is absolutely incredible and impressive.
April 2, 2026
I don’t believe in perfect books but this one is making me reevaluate that. A perfect story of family, sibling relationships, culture, immigrant families, the courage to be yourself, and more.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for this arc in exchange for honest opinion.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for this arc in exchange for honest opinion.
April 30, 2026
If you are a fan of dysfunctional family fiction, this was an interesting read. Plenty of drama, secrets, etc told from the various viewpoints of most of the major characters. There is some strong emotional content. Because there is a reference to childhood abuse, I do wish a page with a trigger warning had been included. Otherwise, well written for the genre.
March 27, 2026
Review of advanced reader copy received from NetGalley
Leave Your Mess At Home by Tolani Akinola is a dynamic read that explores the adult lives of four siblings raised by Nigerian immigrant parents.
While we all have our own family experiences, many readers will feel seen by how Akinola masterfully captures the different layers of belonging, love, individualism, jealousy, hate, and fear that unfold throughout family life. Throughout this book, each sibling is forced to confront their past while also trying to understand who they want to be in the future.
What I loved about this book is how it doesn’t shy away from some of the hard stuff, like tense mother-daughter relationships, identity crises about who you are rather than who your family wants you to be, and confronting racial bias. I found myself emotionally invested in Sola’s story. Not because I had the same experiences, but because I know so many older daughters have to carry so much of what they don’t ask for.
Overall, this is an engaging read I’d recommend to solo readers and book clubs, as there are many themes to explore that could keep you talking for hours!
Thank you NetGalley for an advanced reader copy of this book.
Leave Your Mess At Home by Tolani Akinola is a dynamic read that explores the adult lives of four siblings raised by Nigerian immigrant parents.
While we all have our own family experiences, many readers will feel seen by how Akinola masterfully captures the different layers of belonging, love, individualism, jealousy, hate, and fear that unfold throughout family life. Throughout this book, each sibling is forced to confront their past while also trying to understand who they want to be in the future.
What I loved about this book is how it doesn’t shy away from some of the hard stuff, like tense mother-daughter relationships, identity crises about who you are rather than who your family wants you to be, and confronting racial bias. I found myself emotionally invested in Sola’s story. Not because I had the same experiences, but because I know so many older daughters have to carry so much of what they don’t ask for.
Overall, this is an engaging read I’d recommend to solo readers and book clubs, as there are many themes to explore that could keep you talking for hours!
Thank you NetGalley for an advanced reader copy of this book.
May 4, 2026
Brb I’m crying 🥹
September 3, 2025
Such an impressive debut novel. It's so good that it really is hard to believe that this multi perspective book from four Nigerian American siblings is this author's first published work. This contained multitudes about a family who is at odds with each when the prodigal daughter returns home for Thanksgiving. There are so many secrets and truths withheld, but what was truly touching, is when each learned the difference between perceived love and actual love. The ending is exceptionally strong and I really loved how each of the siblings grew into and within themselves.
I received an arc from the publisher but all opinions are my own.
I received an arc from the publisher but all opinions are my own.
December 1, 2025
PERFECT.
May 5, 2026
Thanks to NetGalley and Pamela Dorman Books for my ARC in exchange for my honest review. This book is available now.
I loved this debut novel. Told over about 2.5 months, 4 adult siblings (Sola, Karen, Anjola and Ola) return to their Nigerian parent’s home for Thanksgiving, each with their own personality and secrets. Their stories are messy and yet I was rooting for each of them.
Themes include family and forgiveness.
I loved this debut novel. Told over about 2.5 months, 4 adult siblings (Sola, Karen, Anjola and Ola) return to their Nigerian parent’s home for Thanksgiving, each with their own personality and secrets. Their stories are messy and yet I was rooting for each of them.
Themes include family and forgiveness.
April 18, 2026
Rating: 4.5 ⭐️
———
Here I go again picking up another book centered on siblings and family trauma—I might need a break from this theme soon. 🫠
This story follows multiple perspectives, which added strong character development, but at times felt repetitive since the same events were revisited through each sibling’s lens. Still, it helped deepen my understanding of their individual experiences.
Sola’s character was the most frustrating for me. She excused her father while placing blame on her siblings, as if they weren’t children navigating the same toxic environment. That lack of awareness into adulthood was difficult to watch. At the same time, the contrast in how the siblings viewed one another was interesting—Anjola and Karen held onto loving memories of Sola, while she remained focused on the negative. It highlighted just how much unhealed trauma she carried, especially given how little protection she received growing up.
Around 66%, the story takes a shocking and emotional turn that I didn’t expect. While heartbreaking, it ultimately becomes the catalyst for the family to come back together. I appreciated that the author didn’t rush this reconciliation—the process felt gradual, messy, and realistic. By the end, there was a strong sense of closure. Despite my frustrations with some of the characters, the book thoughtfully explores family trauma, self-worth, and healing, and I found myself enjoying it overall.
I’m late to the party, but thank you Net Galley & Pamela Dorman Books/Penguin Random House for the ARC!
———
Here I go again picking up another book centered on siblings and family trauma—I might need a break from this theme soon. 🫠
This story follows multiple perspectives, which added strong character development, but at times felt repetitive since the same events were revisited through each sibling’s lens. Still, it helped deepen my understanding of their individual experiences.
Sola’s character was the most frustrating for me. She excused her father while placing blame on her siblings, as if they weren’t children navigating the same toxic environment. That lack of awareness into adulthood was difficult to watch. At the same time, the contrast in how the siblings viewed one another was interesting—Anjola and Karen held onto loving memories of Sola, while she remained focused on the negative. It highlighted just how much unhealed trauma she carried, especially given how little protection she received growing up.
Around 66%, the story takes a shocking and emotional turn that I didn’t expect. While heartbreaking, it ultimately becomes the catalyst for the family to come back together. I appreciated that the author didn’t rush this reconciliation—the process felt gradual, messy, and realistic. By the end, there was a strong sense of closure. Despite my frustrations with some of the characters, the book thoughtfully explores family trauma, self-worth, and healing, and I found myself enjoying it overall.
I’m late to the party, but thank you Net Galley & Pamela Dorman Books/Penguin Random House for the ARC!
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
This character driven book was so emotional and multi layered. You can feel the turmoil that the family is going through as the days lead up to Thanksgiving and the siblings are coming to terms with meeting up after so long being apart.
I loved that every sibling was able to have their on POV chapters. There was definitely some mess that was hashed out amongst everyone, things long buried that needed to be addressed. It was beautifully written and deeply rooted in culture and African heritage. I would definitely recommend this book.
Thank you to Viking Penguin and Netgally for this ARC.
I loved that every sibling was able to have their on POV chapters. There was definitely some mess that was hashed out amongst everyone, things long buried that needed to be addressed. It was beautifully written and deeply rooted in culture and African heritage. I would definitely recommend this book.
Thank you to Viking Penguin and Netgally for this ARC.
April 14, 2026
Thank you @prhaudio for the free audiobook! 🎧
I LOVED IT!! I LOVED IT, I JUST LOVED IT!
This debut pulled out all the stops cause honey it was layered, it was full of family drama, emotional depth, I loved the complexity within the sibling and parent relationships and it was MESSSSSY!
It’s the type of story that beautifully reminds you how powerful flawed characters can be. Ola, Karen, Anjola and Sola felt real in a way that made me sit with them, understand them, and even wrestle with them.
There were some moments I didn’t love, especially certain choices from two of the siblings and there was something about how one character was written. But honestly? I still appreciated the reality of her character arc and what it represented. When I really think about it, this story felt like a love letter to children of immigrants; all of those unspoken expectations both culturally and religiously, the tension between identity, and that heavy longing to be fully seen. 😭
The closer I got to the end of this story the more I wish that somehow more chapters would’ve just kept loading— that’s how much I didn’t want this to end. I’m glad I took my time with it because it truly felt like a story that deserved that kind of attention.
I HIGHLY recommend the audiobook, because A'rese Emokpae did a phenomenal job bringing all four of these distinct characters to life.
April 23, 2026
Every family is a mess. But when you’re the child of immigrants, that mess is often pressurized by the weight of a thousand expectations. Tolani Akinola’s Leave Your Mess at Home takes four siblings, one Thanksgiving table, and decades of ‘don’t tell our secrets’ to show what happens when the pressure cooker finally explodes.
My Thoughts on Leave Your Mess at Home:
Dialogue:
Akinola does a wonderful job of creating dialogue. I felt like I was sitting in their house eavesdropping on the banter of the siblings, the loving or harsh comments from the parents, and even the internal dialogue was spot-on. Sometimes, the dialogue was uncomfortable among the characters, but that only added to its reality.
Cultural Insight:
The four siblings come from Nigerian immigrant parents. I never thought about the pressure that is sometimes placed on their children to succeed because of the sacrifices that were made to come to the United States. As the oldest son and the oldest daughter, the pressure was even greater. This was eye-opening for me, and I’m glad it was a major theme in the book.
Sibling Relationships:
I always enjoy books that highlight sibling relationships. A sibling never experiences family the same way as another sibling. Akinola truly demonstrates this throughout the story. It doesn’t matter where you fall within the sibling line-up, there are always pros and cons, and this story delves deeply into each one.
The Pacing:
This is a very long book to take place over such a short amount of time. I always wanted to keep reading, but the pace is slow and steady. It is like watching your favorite family drama over the length of a weekend. The story is told in third-person, and since we see the point of view from each of the four siblings (and some from the mother), it is like an unhurried stroll through the park.
My Rating:
If you like reading about complex family relationships, an insider’s view of living the American dream, a wide emotional range, you will enjoy this book. If you are looking for a fast-paced story with all likable characters, then this book may not be for you. I definitely enjoyed the story. I’m just not sure it will stick as something I will always remember.
My Favorite Quote:
“And then his father fixes a look on his mother worse than betrayal. The look of love inverted, of sweetness turned rancid, of rotting fruit.”
I could feel the feels in this quote. I thought it was written perfectly because it created a tension that felt almost suffocating.
Thank you to NetGalley, Viking Penguin, and Tolani Akinola for my free copy of this book. This is my honest opinion.
Leave a comment:
Where do you fall in your sibling lineup, and do you feel it shaped how you viewed your parents’ expectations?
My Thoughts on Leave Your Mess at Home:
Dialogue:
Akinola does a wonderful job of creating dialogue. I felt like I was sitting in their house eavesdropping on the banter of the siblings, the loving or harsh comments from the parents, and even the internal dialogue was spot-on. Sometimes, the dialogue was uncomfortable among the characters, but that only added to its reality.
Cultural Insight:
The four siblings come from Nigerian immigrant parents. I never thought about the pressure that is sometimes placed on their children to succeed because of the sacrifices that were made to come to the United States. As the oldest son and the oldest daughter, the pressure was even greater. This was eye-opening for me, and I’m glad it was a major theme in the book.
Sibling Relationships:
I always enjoy books that highlight sibling relationships. A sibling never experiences family the same way as another sibling. Akinola truly demonstrates this throughout the story. It doesn’t matter where you fall within the sibling line-up, there are always pros and cons, and this story delves deeply into each one.
The Pacing:
This is a very long book to take place over such a short amount of time. I always wanted to keep reading, but the pace is slow and steady. It is like watching your favorite family drama over the length of a weekend. The story is told in third-person, and since we see the point of view from each of the four siblings (and some from the mother), it is like an unhurried stroll through the park.
My Rating:
If you like reading about complex family relationships, an insider’s view of living the American dream, a wide emotional range, you will enjoy this book. If you are looking for a fast-paced story with all likable characters, then this book may not be for you. I definitely enjoyed the story. I’m just not sure it will stick as something I will always remember.
My Favorite Quote:
“And then his father fixes a look on his mother worse than betrayal. The look of love inverted, of sweetness turned rancid, of rotting fruit.”
I could feel the feels in this quote. I thought it was written perfectly because it created a tension that felt almost suffocating.
Thank you to NetGalley, Viking Penguin, and Tolani Akinola for my free copy of this book. This is my honest opinion.
Leave a comment:
Where do you fall in your sibling lineup, and do you feel it shaped how you viewed your parents’ expectations?
April 16, 2026
(4.5 stars)
Thanks to Viking Books and PRH Audio for the free ARC & ALC, respectively. All opinions are my own.
If you're a fan of character-driven family dramas, I highly recommend this beautiful debut novel! It follows four adult siblings and their parents as they converge in Chicago one fall - complete with a confrontational Thanksgiving meal. Each sibling, and of course their parents too, has their own "mess" to deal with. The book also depicts the complexities and relationships within this Nigerian-American family both in the past and in the present.
Ola's wife is pregnant with their son and he's wondering about the life paths not taken.
Sola is the family outcast, hurt and betrayed. She's back in Chicago after a painful breakup but hasn't seen her family in a decade.
Anjola is a golden daughter, pursuing her medical career. She's also in love with her male best friend, who is engaged to someone else.
Karen, the baby of the family, is in college trying to figure out who she is and what she wants.
This is such an impressive debut, from Akinola's compelling prose to the way she deftly balances six main characters, switching POVs throughout.
More of what you'll find in this story:
* Queer rep
* Interracial marriage
* Vitiligo rep
* Therapy rep
* Family drama
* Adult siblings
* Immigrant/first generation Nigerian-American rep
I loved the narration by A’rese Emokpae. She was perfect for this book as far as I could tell and really enhanced the story!
As I said up top, highly recommend this one to all fans of character-driven family dramas! There are some triggers to be aware of, though, so please take care of yourself as always.
Thanks to Viking Books and PRH Audio for the free ARC & ALC, respectively. All opinions are my own.
If you're a fan of character-driven family dramas, I highly recommend this beautiful debut novel! It follows four adult siblings and their parents as they converge in Chicago one fall - complete with a confrontational Thanksgiving meal. Each sibling, and of course their parents too, has their own "mess" to deal with. The book also depicts the complexities and relationships within this Nigerian-American family both in the past and in the present.
Ola's wife is pregnant with their son and he's wondering about the life paths not taken.
Sola is the family outcast, hurt and betrayed. She's back in Chicago after a painful breakup but hasn't seen her family in a decade.
Anjola is a golden daughter, pursuing her medical career. She's also in love with her male best friend, who is engaged to someone else.
Karen, the baby of the family, is in college trying to figure out who she is and what she wants.
This is such an impressive debut, from Akinola's compelling prose to the way she deftly balances six main characters, switching POVs throughout.
More of what you'll find in this story:
* Queer rep
* Interracial marriage
* Vitiligo rep
* Therapy rep
* Family drama
* Adult siblings
* Immigrant/first generation Nigerian-American rep
I loved the narration by A’rese Emokpae. She was perfect for this book as far as I could tell and really enhanced the story!
As I said up top, highly recommend this one to all fans of character-driven family dramas! There are some triggers to be aware of, though, so please take care of yourself as always.
April 25, 2026
4.5 rounded up to 5 stars!
This is my kind of jam, a little bit of literary fiction, an author who is a female annnnnd minority, and not too many main characters.
Four siblings, this is can do! It was easy enough to keep all the siblings straight, and that says a lot bc my brain cannot switch it up shem there are so many important characters.
This was a hell of a debut novel, I must say. All the differences between how the siblings were raised and how they became successful adults was so interesting and so real life. I actually grew up across the street from a Nigerian family, and the way they treated the girls was so much more strict than how they treated their sons.
The drama, unrequited love, sexuality exploration, tragedy, etc... it doesn't necessarily make for the happiest story, but I'm all about real life, and THIS story is definitely real life!
This is my kind of jam, a little bit of literary fiction, an author who is a female annnnnd minority, and not too many main characters.
Four siblings, this is can do! It was easy enough to keep all the siblings straight, and that says a lot bc my brain cannot switch it up shem there are so many important characters.
This was a hell of a debut novel, I must say. All the differences between how the siblings were raised and how they became successful adults was so interesting and so real life. I actually grew up across the street from a Nigerian family, and the way they treated the girls was so much more strict than how they treated their sons.
The drama, unrequited love, sexuality exploration, tragedy, etc... it doesn't necessarily make for the happiest story, but I'm all about real life, and THIS story is definitely real life!
April 14, 2026
4.5 stars
This is a beautiful debut story.
The writing is incredible, humorous and engaging. I liked how it was written in each siblings’ POV, it made the story more relatable and personal.
The storyline explores family dynamics and its complexities, immigration, identity crisis and Nigerian culture. The characters are interesting, imperfect and messy. The story is a reminder that siblings can experience different versions of their parents despite living under the same roof.
I found myself sympathizing with Sola; she carried so much burden and I couldn’t help but hold a grudge against Ola and their mom. The tragic part of the book had me crying, it was so heartbreaking.
Although the ending was bittersweet, I still think it was a good ending.
Thank you to Viking Penguin and Netgally for this ARC.
This is a beautiful debut story.
The writing is incredible, humorous and engaging. I liked how it was written in each siblings’ POV, it made the story more relatable and personal.
The storyline explores family dynamics and its complexities, immigration, identity crisis and Nigerian culture. The characters are interesting, imperfect and messy. The story is a reminder that siblings can experience different versions of their parents despite living under the same roof.
I found myself sympathizing with Sola; she carried so much burden and I couldn’t help but hold a grudge against Ola and their mom. The tragic part of the book had me crying, it was so heartbreaking.
Although the ending was bittersweet, I still think it was a good ending.
Thank you to Viking Penguin and Netgally for this ARC.
April 25, 2026
A messy, heartfelt family drama that follows four adult siblings of Nigerian immigrants navigating identity crises, impending parenthood, relationship woes and more. The novel takes place in Chicago over the course of two months, alternating POVs between each sibling and has them coming together over the unexpected death of someone in the family. Good on audio, this was entertaining, relatable and perfect for fans of books like The Irish goodbye or Hope and glory by Jendella Benson. Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early digital copy in exchange for my honest review.
April 12, 2026
4.5
This captured family/life mess and trauma so well. It saddened and angered me. It made me laugh and tear up. They were all such well written characters with depth still learning to find themselves after so many years of being who they were told to be. An amazing story about grief, trauma, navigating life, learning forgiveness, and so much more. I had a hard time with the ending as far as the mother goes but I understand that’s just how it goes sometimes. Really enjoyed this one.
This captured family/life mess and trauma so well. It saddened and angered me. It made me laugh and tear up. They were all such well written characters with depth still learning to find themselves after so many years of being who they were told to be. An amazing story about grief, trauma, navigating life, learning forgiveness, and so much more. I had a hard time with the ending as far as the mother goes but I understand that’s just how it goes sometimes. Really enjoyed this one.
March 19, 2026
Wow!!!!!!Leave Your Mess at Home by Tolani Akinola is a compelling and emotionally rich debut that explores the complexities of family, identity, and personal growth. Centered around four Nigerian-American siblings, the novel brings readers into a tense yet heartfelt Thanksgiving reunion where long-buried secrets and unresolved tensions come to the surface. Each character is well-developed and relatable, navigating their own struggles with love, expectations, and self-discovery. Akinola does a beautiful job balancing humor with heavier themes, making the story feel authentic and engaging without becoming overwhelming. This is a thoughtful, character-driven novel that highlights the messy but meaningful nature of family relationships.
March 17, 2026
Thank you Viking and Pamela Dorman books for the ARC of this book. This book surprised me in so many ways…it was extremely raw in its portrayal of just how ugly, fragile, beautiful and MESSY family/families can be. The writing was extremely captivating, and the plot was THICKKK! I tore this book up in two days, simultaneously wanting to know what was happening next and trying to elongate the story.
I love seeing the character development of each of the four main characters. The book is both heartbreaking, inspiring, and dare I say fun?
Congrats to the author on their debut novel. If this is how she’s starting a book one I’m really excited for her future work!!
Lastly this would be a PERFECTTTTTT book club read because there’s just so many different elements to dig in…
I love seeing the character development of each of the four main characters. The book is both heartbreaking, inspiring, and dare I say fun?
Congrats to the author on their debut novel. If this is how she’s starting a book one I’m really excited for her future work!!
Lastly this would be a PERFECTTTTTT book club read because there’s just so many different elements to dig in…
April 15, 2026
This is such a special book ❤️ I fell in love, had my heart broken, and saw the light at the end of the tunnel. We get a beautiful examination of family within the scope of a coming of self novel.
I’m always here for Nigerian rep (as an aside, listen to the audiobook to truly appreciate the pronunciations- the narrator does a fantastic job). As the oldest of four girls in our Nigerian family, it was easy to empathize with the need to be this shining example and how it feels when you miss the mark.
I loved the characters, their growth, and their relationships. It was everything.
This is definitely going to be one of my absolute favorite books of the year. I cannot wait to read whatever she come out with next ✨
I’m always here for Nigerian rep (as an aside, listen to the audiobook to truly appreciate the pronunciations- the narrator does a fantastic job). As the oldest of four girls in our Nigerian family, it was easy to empathize with the need to be this shining example and how it feels when you miss the mark.
I loved the characters, their growth, and their relationships. It was everything.
This is definitely going to be one of my absolute favorite books of the year. I cannot wait to read whatever she come out with next ✨
September 8, 2025
Thank you to #NetGalley, #PamelaDormanBooks, and #VikingPenguin for the opportunity to read and review "Leave Your Mess at Home" - the amazing debut novel by #TolaniAkinola. This book is not scheduled for publication until April 14, 2026, but I've already shared the title with former medical students and reader friends as one "you do NOT want to miss." I loved this!!
The novel has so much heart! It centers on the Longe family in Chicago - siblings Anjola, Sola, Ola, and Karen - along with their Nigerian-American parents (and friends/romantic partners playing wonderful supporting roles along the way). Inherent to the plot are all the complications of parental and cultural expectations both thrust upon and perceived by the children (especially by the matriarch of the family). The writing is true to these themes and feels "lived in" - nothing is held back emotionally and the characters are fully messy and authentic in the most human and gorgeous ways.
The characters are each multidimensional, duplicitous, vulnerable, insecure, and ever-evolving (some more quickly than others) and all highly lovable by the conclusion. of the book. Each character's individual plot line -- Anjola (and her complicated relationship with best friend Neil), Karen (questioning her passions - in education and romance), Ola (married to Marisol and expecting a child while longing for a past relationship among other things) and the prodigal daughter Sola (who holds deep and painful secrets, long-term estrangement from her family, and has had a public breakup as an influencer) all have to greater and lesser degrees lived a life of facades. This is a common human theme as we grow older and try to "figure out" who we are but having a mother driven by appearances and expectations and a father who is accommodating and defers to the mother, makes it that much more difficult to find one's way.
Family secrets, regrets of actions not taken, status, culture, roots, pride, and ESPECIALLY shame are all major themes, beautifully depicted and emotionally delivered. How lives are changed by choices made from fear, shame, and anger and the ever-rippling consequences of resentment and pride take on lives of their own.
Also important is how circumstances can outwardly appear to be the "end of one's world" but morph slowly into the beginning of a more authentic and wildly improved new life. That walking through fear and connecting with others - especially those who know you best - FAMILY - can bring about the seemingly impossible. This novel is a triumph and I cannot wait to read more by Tolani!!! BRAVA!
The novel has so much heart! It centers on the Longe family in Chicago - siblings Anjola, Sola, Ola, and Karen - along with their Nigerian-American parents (and friends/romantic partners playing wonderful supporting roles along the way). Inherent to the plot are all the complications of parental and cultural expectations both thrust upon and perceived by the children (especially by the matriarch of the family). The writing is true to these themes and feels "lived in" - nothing is held back emotionally and the characters are fully messy and authentic in the most human and gorgeous ways.
The characters are each multidimensional, duplicitous, vulnerable, insecure, and ever-evolving (some more quickly than others) and all highly lovable by the conclusion. of the book. Each character's individual plot line -- Anjola (and her complicated relationship with best friend Neil), Karen (questioning her passions - in education and romance), Ola (married to Marisol and expecting a child while longing for a past relationship among other things) and the prodigal daughter Sola (who holds deep and painful secrets, long-term estrangement from her family, and has had a public breakup as an influencer) all have to greater and lesser degrees lived a life of facades. This is a common human theme as we grow older and try to "figure out" who we are but having a mother driven by appearances and expectations and a father who is accommodating and defers to the mother, makes it that much more difficult to find one's way.
Family secrets, regrets of actions not taken, status, culture, roots, pride, and ESPECIALLY shame are all major themes, beautifully depicted and emotionally delivered. How lives are changed by choices made from fear, shame, and anger and the ever-rippling consequences of resentment and pride take on lives of their own.
Also important is how circumstances can outwardly appear to be the "end of one's world" but morph slowly into the beginning of a more authentic and wildly improved new life. That walking through fear and connecting with others - especially those who know you best - FAMILY - can bring about the seemingly impossible. This novel is a triumph and I cannot wait to read more by Tolani!!! BRAVA!
August 20, 2025
Im struggling with this review. There are parts of this that are tender and beautiful and yet, I failed to like most of the characters. In a way, this is a coming of age tale so I suppose their journey includes them turning into people I could like by the end of the saga. However, being with them before they got there just wasn't that enjoyable.
I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
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May 10, 2026There are only a few things scarier than keeping a journal/diary in a Nigerian household. Bold of you to assume you have privacy under that roof 🫠
Assimilating into a new culture can be tough especially when the kids are born in a place very different from their parents. The struggle to strike a balance between what is acceptable while breaking generational patterns. Identity crisis and culture clash are just some of the issues to be expected.
The mother in this book was very combative and determined to put so much pressure on her children. Not to rationalize her terrible behavior, but it’s very possible she’s repeating generational patterns. There’s a very high expectation placed on First daughters, they come out of the womb expected to be model examples shouldering the responsibility of serving the family while also keeping their siblings in check. There’s always some complexities involved in the maternal relationship.
As for the dad, what he lacked in wealth, he made up for in being the better parent (emotionally). On the other hand, His desire to provide for his family drew him away from being an active participant in the raising his kids. Inadvertently letting his wife get away so much in his absence.
Ola, the eldest child is allowed to be a wallflower who comes across as someone who could act however he wanted. As the only son, I felt like he was coddled by the parents even while they were growing up. He seemed like the type of person who let others dictate his behavior even down to his interactions with his partner. If you don’t know who you are, people will make that up for you. Also, the most successful (by Nigerian parent’s standards). There’s a level of respect and deference he was accorded even in the way he spoke to them. Money gives you permission to show up however you want and distance yourself from the emotional toll of familial expectations.
Sola (Gbemisola): As the eldest daughter, all the intense home training went into her. The most domesticated of them all when it comes to chores. Heavy is the head that wears the crown fr. Talking back or thinking for yourself could deem you the black sheep. Even her siblings looked at her as the rebellious one (only because they actually didn’t know the full story).
Anjola: classic middle child vibes, you see a sibling getting into trouble once and ultimately decide it could never be you. You make it your mission to be the golden child who faces her books and stays out of trouble. What more could a parent ask for? Right?! Until you become an adult and realize you are allowed to want things for yourself (without any obligation or people-pleasing behavior). I have to admit, she seemed to be the most confused sibling who tries too hard to appear like she has it all together. Her story also reminds me of why I always side-eye the friends to lovers trope 😏
Karen (Ireti): baby of house, which means you are cool with each and every sibling. As the last born, she was even allowed to use her non-Nigerian name unlike the others. She was actually quite conscientious and self-reflects at a pace faster than her siblings. Of course, no one is exempt from familial pressure, Karen still struggled to push back on what she wants for her future as she goes through college and navigates friendships. This character reflects a lot on how she wants to be seen/ show up in the world. Probably the one that grew the most as we journey through the story.
Life has a way of showing us what’s important after a loss. Sadly, it took a tragedy to let this family see eye to eye and really reflect on who they are and explore the possibility of a less dysfunctional relationship with each other.
This book was such a page turner with so much to unpack. A solid debut, looking forward to more from the author.
Assimilating into a new culture can be tough especially when the kids are born in a place very different from their parents. The struggle to strike a balance between what is acceptable while breaking generational patterns. Identity crisis and culture clash are just some of the issues to be expected.
The mother in this book was very combative and determined to put so much pressure on her children. Not to rationalize her terrible behavior, but it’s very possible she’s repeating generational patterns. There’s a very high expectation placed on First daughters, they come out of the womb expected to be model examples shouldering the responsibility of serving the family while also keeping their siblings in check. There’s always some complexities involved in the maternal relationship.
As for the dad, what he lacked in wealth, he made up for in being the better parent (emotionally). On the other hand, His desire to provide for his family drew him away from being an active participant in the raising his kids. Inadvertently letting his wife get away so much in his absence.
Ola, the eldest child is allowed to be a wallflower who comes across as someone who could act however he wanted. As the only son, I felt like he was coddled by the parents even while they were growing up. He seemed like the type of person who let others dictate his behavior even down to his interactions with his partner. If you don’t know who you are, people will make that up for you. Also, the most successful (by Nigerian parent’s standards). There’s a level of respect and deference he was accorded even in the way he spoke to them. Money gives you permission to show up however you want and distance yourself from the emotional toll of familial expectations.
Sola (Gbemisola): As the eldest daughter, all the intense home training went into her. The most domesticated of them all when it comes to chores. Heavy is the head that wears the crown fr. Talking back or thinking for yourself could deem you the black sheep. Even her siblings looked at her as the rebellious one (only because they actually didn’t know the full story).
Anjola: classic middle child vibes, you see a sibling getting into trouble once and ultimately decide it could never be you. You make it your mission to be the golden child who faces her books and stays out of trouble. What more could a parent ask for? Right?! Until you become an adult and realize you are allowed to want things for yourself (without any obligation or people-pleasing behavior). I have to admit, she seemed to be the most confused sibling who tries too hard to appear like she has it all together. Her story also reminds me of why I always side-eye the friends to lovers trope 😏
Karen (Ireti): baby of house, which means you are cool with each and every sibling. As the last born, she was even allowed to use her non-Nigerian name unlike the others. She was actually quite conscientious and self-reflects at a pace faster than her siblings. Of course, no one is exempt from familial pressure, Karen still struggled to push back on what she wants for her future as she goes through college and navigates friendships. This character reflects a lot on how she wants to be seen/ show up in the world. Probably the one that grew the most as we journey through the story.
Life has a way of showing us what’s important after a loss. Sadly, it took a tragedy to let this family see eye to eye and really reflect on who they are and explore the possibility of a less dysfunctional relationship with each other.
This book was such a page turner with so much to unpack. A solid debut, looking forward to more from the author.
April 18, 2026
Yet again, I am teary eyed as I write a review for another 5 star read. I LOVED this book. A story of 4 Nigerian American siblings who all are dealing with different obstacles of adulthood while hiding the truth of those obstacles from the people you should be able to be most honest, most unsure, most broken with- family.
As the time towards a tense and eventful Thanksgiving draws closer the siblings find themselves slowly unable to pretend, especially when something happens for which they NEED each other to lean on.
The character development here was masterful, especially considering the book takes place over a few months. I rooted for Sola immediately, the Black sheep of the family who was the constant source of her mother's ire and condemnation. You get to witness her push back on the scarlet letter of sorts that's been thrust upon her and figure her life out.
I felt for Anjola, who though professionally successful, cannot have the love she craves from whom she craves it from but she comes to realize that she has something greater.
Karen being the youngest but also, in many ways, being the boldest which is typical of younger siblings now that I think about it.
And lastly Ola, the only brother who has done everything right, is married with a baby on the way but you meet him as he's feeling stuck and reckless. You watch him as he bends but does not totally break all that he has built.
Tolani did a great job at capturing how complicated but necessary family can be. What it can look like at its worst and what it should and can look like at its best. This felt honest, touching, beautiful, heartbreaking and healing.
One of my fave reads of the year.
As the time towards a tense and eventful Thanksgiving draws closer the siblings find themselves slowly unable to pretend, especially when something happens for which they NEED each other to lean on.
The character development here was masterful, especially considering the book takes place over a few months. I rooted for Sola immediately, the Black sheep of the family who was the constant source of her mother's ire and condemnation. You get to witness her push back on the scarlet letter of sorts that's been thrust upon her and figure her life out.
I felt for Anjola, who though professionally successful, cannot have the love she craves from whom she craves it from but she comes to realize that she has something greater.
Karen being the youngest but also, in many ways, being the boldest which is typical of younger siblings now that I think about it.
And lastly Ola, the only brother who has done everything right, is married with a baby on the way but you meet him as he's feeling stuck and reckless. You watch him as he bends but does not totally break all that he has built.
Tolani did a great job at capturing how complicated but necessary family can be. What it can look like at its worst and what it should and can look like at its best. This felt honest, touching, beautiful, heartbreaking and healing.
One of my fave reads of the year.
April 14, 2026
Leave Your Mess at Home is one of those quietly powerful reads that sneaks up on you. What really stood out to me—and earned this a solid four stars—was the depth of character growth woven throughout the story. Every character feels layered and real, evolving in ways that aren’t rushed or overly polished. Their growth is messy, nonlinear, and deeply human, which makes their journeys feel authentic and earned.
The exploration of familial stressors is especially impactful. The tension within family dynamics—expectations, unspoken resentments, and generational patterns—adds emotional weight to the story. You can feel how love and frustration coexist in these relationships, and how difficult it is to break cycles while still holding onto connection. It’s uncomfortable at times, but in a way that feels honest rather than overwhelming.
One of the most compelling aspects of the book is its exploration of identity—particularly what it means to navigate the world as a Black individual. The story doesn’t simplify or generalize this experience; instead, it highlights the nuance, the internal conflicts, and the external pressures that shape identity. There’s a strong sense of self-reflection and questioning that runs through the narrative, making it both thought-provoking and emotionally resonant.
My only reason for not giving it five stars is that certain moments felt slightly underdeveloped, and I wanted just a bit more depth in a few key scenes. But overall, this is a meaningful, character-driven story that lingers after you finish it—especially if you love books that balance emotional complexity with social insight.
Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC!
The exploration of familial stressors is especially impactful. The tension within family dynamics—expectations, unspoken resentments, and generational patterns—adds emotional weight to the story. You can feel how love and frustration coexist in these relationships, and how difficult it is to break cycles while still holding onto connection. It’s uncomfortable at times, but in a way that feels honest rather than overwhelming.
One of the most compelling aspects of the book is its exploration of identity—particularly what it means to navigate the world as a Black individual. The story doesn’t simplify or generalize this experience; instead, it highlights the nuance, the internal conflicts, and the external pressures that shape identity. There’s a strong sense of self-reflection and questioning that runs through the narrative, making it both thought-provoking and emotionally resonant.
My only reason for not giving it five stars is that certain moments felt slightly underdeveloped, and I wanted just a bit more depth in a few key scenes. But overall, this is a meaningful, character-driven story that lingers after you finish it—especially if you love books that balance emotional complexity with social insight.
Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC!
May 10, 2026
The impact this book had on me emotionally will stay with me for a long time. The raw emotion put into this book depicting a strained family dynamic felt so authentic and relatable. Each family member was flawed in ways we can see our own family members and ourselves flawed. We crave acceptance and overall love - and in this case each sibling is fighting for it unbeknownst that they are hurting each other in the process.
After the eldest daughter Sola returns after leaving her family years ago, her siblings try to make sense of their relationship with her. Why did she leave? Why is she back? Who are we to each other ? I loved each sibling in different ways and found my heart breaking for each of them. The family dynamics between the siblings and the parents felt particularly a hit too close to the heart. It’s a tale of immigrant parents raising their kids to have a better life in a new part of the world but ultimately coming at a traumatic price.
There was a turning point in the book that felt like things would start healing and then BAM - a twist that left me in tears. Thinking of it now has me crying. This book is full of emotion and depth. It crosses between fiction and reality - i know for myself I can see these dynamics and family members within my own home. The author does an amazing job capturing all of the emotions in a dysfunctional family. Highly highly recommend - please read trigger warnings.
After the eldest daughter Sola returns after leaving her family years ago, her siblings try to make sense of their relationship with her. Why did she leave? Why is she back? Who are we to each other ? I loved each sibling in different ways and found my heart breaking for each of them. The family dynamics between the siblings and the parents felt particularly a hit too close to the heart. It’s a tale of immigrant parents raising their kids to have a better life in a new part of the world but ultimately coming at a traumatic price.
There was a turning point in the book that felt like things would start healing and then BAM - a twist that left me in tears. Thinking of it now has me crying. This book is full of emotion and depth. It crosses between fiction and reality - i know for myself I can see these dynamics and family members within my own home. The author does an amazing job capturing all of the emotions in a dysfunctional family. Highly highly recommend - please read trigger warnings.
April 21, 2026
Just reading the title, I knew that the mess wasn’t going to stay at home. Here’s the problem, the mess was always in the house and everywhere you the mess was going to be carried to other peoples houses and lives. We have a couple from Nigeria who has settled and built their family in Chicago, the city and not the burbs. We have four siblings, Sola the eldest who is a social media influencer, Anjola the doctor in training, Ola the only male and the rich investment manager, and the youngest Karen who is unsure of her sexuality. The estranged family has broken ties within it and we see what happens with mother-daughter brokenness, father-daughter wholeness, death, adultery, unresolved issues, sexuality questions, husband-wife struggles, religious confusion and several other problems that plague the Longes family.
While I was expecting reality tv show mess, that is not what this is. Instead, we get a calmer mess as it the chaos is handled more adult-like by others not talking about the problems. That’s not to say that is healthy but it allows people to breath and still live. This debut novel from Tolani Akinola was a good read but had some pacing issues. I was delighted to have read this book and enjoyed the Chicago landmarks noted.
While I was expecting reality tv show mess, that is not what this is. Instead, we get a calmer mess as it the chaos is handled more adult-like by others not talking about the problems. That’s not to say that is healthy but it allows people to breath and still live. This debut novel from Tolani Akinola was a good read but had some pacing issues. I was delighted to have read this book and enjoyed the Chicago landmarks noted.
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