Secure: The Revolutionary Guide to Creating a Secure Life

by Amir Levine

Amir Levine, MD, coauthor of the groundbreaking, multimillion-copy international bestseller Attached, presents a bold new promise—that anyone can learn to create a secure life—and offers practical cutting-edge tools to achieve it.

Years after revolutionizing our understanding of attachment styles, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine returns with a brilliant, paradigm-shifting work on the science of secure human connection. As Dr. Levine explains in Secure, people with a secure attachment style are the most comfortable not just in their relationships, but also in their own skins. And remarkably, the latest research shows that anyone, regardless of how insecure they may feel, can learn to create a secure life.

The benefits of living in “secure mode” are people tend to be healthier and have a better relationship with their health care providers. When they do have a difficult illness, they have fewer symptoms and handle it better emotionally. If they’re looking for a job, they’re more effective in their search and their self-esteem doesn’t suffer as much. They are less susceptible to consumerism. They even navigate social media better and experience fewer negative impacts.

In Secure, Dr. Levine presents his pioneering approach, Secure Therapy and Coaching, offering practical, neuroscience-backed tools to help readers cultivate security so that they can thrive. Secure is the definitive guide for anyone looking to improve their emotional health, deepen their connections, and build more fulfilling lives.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help, Relationships, Personal Development, Audiobook, Health

288 pages, Hardcover

Published April 14, 2026

About the author

Amir Levine, M.D. is a psychiatrist, molecular neuroscientist, and Associate Professor of Clinical Psychiatry at Columbia University.

He is the co-author of Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment, which has sold over 3 million copies and been translated into 42 languages, and the author of Secure: The Revolutionary Guide to Creating a Secure Life (Avery/Penguin Random House, 2026), his follow-up book that merges attachment science with neuroscience to show how anyone can build a more secure life — at work, in friendships, in family, and within themselves.

Levine completed his adult psychiatry residency at New York Presbyterian/Columbia University, where he ranked first in his class three consecutive years, then specialized in child and adolescent psychiatry.

At Columbia, he has conducted NIH-sponsored research as a Principal Investigator alongside Nobel laureate Dr. Eric Kandel. His clinical work led him to develop Secure Priming Therapy, a treatment approach that draws on attachment science, clinical psychology, and neuroscience to help people shift into more secure patterns of relating.

Reviews

[Kristen Block · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had high hopes for this one because I loved Attached and have witnessed it help so many of my clients. This one fell flat to me. Many of the interventions are simplified and don’t take into consideration the amount of healing and internal work it takes to be able to execute these interventions in real relationships. He also lost me completely by suggesting the use of AI for real-time conflict management (What!). Sorry. No.

There are far better books out there that are more trauma-informed and inclusive of the role neurodivergence, gender roles, cultural backgrounds, etc creates nuance in relationships.

[Vicky McAfee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I found this to be interesting and scientifically fascinating, and it helped me put some things into perspective about attachment, relationships, and self-regulation. The book is heavy on social interactions and really emphasises that we are creatures who rely on each other, which I can intellectually appreciate.

That said, for me, it didn’t go deep enough in certain areas. It doesn’t talk about real-life relationships, power imbalances, unavoidable connections where you can’t simply detach or disengage, or how past trauma can effect dynamics, which can make the advice feel a little too idealised.

The text occasionally leans toward the idea that your partner should “make you secure,” which felt counterintuitive; I believe that true security comes from within. Healthy boundaries and cultivating your own wellbeing seem essential, but sometimes the book downplays them in favour of relational strategies.

I liked the emphasis on self-reflection and the practical examples, and I agree that we should aim to be people we’d like to come into contact with, cultivating a sense of self that’s resilient and autonomous. I just wished there was more nuance around the complexities of human relationships, especially mismatched attachment styles or situations where contact can’t simply be removed.

Overall, I’d say it’s a thought-provoking read, particularly if you’re new to attachment theory or want a science-informed framework, but I personally wanted a bit more depth on real-world relational challenges.

[Sanchita · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to love this. And to be fair, parts of it are genuinely useful. But overall? It’s one of those books that feels more convincing than it actually is.

The premise is strong — you can become secure regardless of your attachment style, and it’s supported by neuroscience rather than just labels. It’s more hopeful, less fatalistic, and tries to move beyond putting people into neat little boxes.

But it doesn’t go nearly as deep as it think it does. A lot of the advice feels … idealised. It assumes access to consistent, emotionally available people, while glossing over messy realities like trauma, power dynamics, and unavoidable relationships. The underlying message can feel like … just choose better interactions, which isn’t always possible.

Helpful in parts, but not as nuanced as it needs to be.

[Maria · Rating 2 out of 5]

Something is very off about this man

[Vicky · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this and found it such an accessible read. It was so refreshing to see Amir Levine move away from the usual way attachment styles are talked about. I particularly related to the chapter on anxious attachment and loved how he framed it as “not a deficit or problem to be fixed but a unique set of perceptual superpowers - that when properly channeled - can be a tremendous asset to you and the people around you.” That perspective shift felt really empowering.

It was also really interesting to read that they now believe attachment isn’t just something "set in stone" during your first relationship with a caregiver, but something that can actually alter and evolve later in life. I appreciated that the book didn't just focus on romantic relationships, but looked at how these dynamics affect every area of our lives. There are plenty of real-life examples throughout that show not just how people are affected by their attachment styles, but the actual changes they made that started to make a real difference. This is a great, practical update to existing books on attachment theory.

[Esma · Rating 4 out of 5]

Goed boek: interessant en leerzaam, maar ‘attached’ (verbonden) van dezelfde schrijver vond ik vele malen beter en interessanter geschreven.

[Serafina Pike]

I liked the inclusion of the attachment style quiz as well as actionable steps to take to help make yourself feel more secure. A great resource for clients if you're doing attachment work.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's an interesting and educational read. I'm not sure it would work for everyone, in fact I'm pretty sure I know of at least one person for whom it would be ineffective. Regardless of that, I really liked that the book enables the reader to evaluate themselves using tools created by the author. And there is a link available within the book that enables the evaluation tool to be used on the authors website, thereby saving the need to do any mathematics.

The book is divided into three sections:- PART I: The Secure Brain; PART II: Living in Secure Mode and PART III: The Secure Mind. It is necessary to read the book in a linear fashion to understand how the system works and how to use it. There are examples throughout which help with comprehension and invite responses to consolidate the learning.

I anticipate that most people will be able to read through once and then dip into the various sections to refresh memory and learning as needed.

When I completed the assessment of my attachment to various individuals, it was very much as I expected, which was reassuring. And should I wish to make changes to my relationships, I now have the tools I need to work towards that goal.

I found the tone of the author to be compassionate and caring about the wellbeing of others. Something that is really nice to come across in a scientific book.

I am thankful to the author, Random House UK, Cornerstone | Cornerstone Press and Netgalley for allowing me to read this book for free.

[Ink · Rating 4 out of 5]

Firstly, let me preface this review that I read this book form the mindset that they are there to provide suggestions and not definitive answers. I am pretty sure this is written from a more humanistic psychology perspective stringently backed up from the clinical and research psychology platform and as such reinforces the point that it is a suggestion over a decree

The tools for self-reflection are well structured along with a useful calculator online. At times it felt like a book to be worked through as opposed to a reference book, but this adds to the engagement with the themes in a structured, comprehensive form which begins with "The Secure Brain", leading to the practical "Living in Secure Mode" and elaborating with "The Secure Mind"

There is a fine balance between writing as a scientist and writing as an author and Levine is able to blend these two aspects into effective communication that would appeal to professionals and laymen alike, although it is predominantly aimed at those who seek to enrich their own lives by learning more about how they can connect with and maintain connections with others. A very interesting and engaging read

Thank you to Netgalley, the author and Random House UK, Cornerstone | Cornerstone Press for this fascinating ARC. My review is left voluntarily and all opinions are my own

[Josephine · Rating 4 out of 5]

With books of this style that I have read before (psychology, psychiatry and advice books) I have found them to be hit and miss. This is definitely a hit for me with the caveat that I am a firm believer that different approaches to advice and therapy will strike a chord with different people. You just have to find the approach that works best for you. But I definitely found this advice to be relevant and useful in my life. Building on his previous book, “Attached”, the author runs through his theory on how you can become more secure in all of your relationships whether they be in your career, your friendships, your romantic or your familial ones.

In terms of how it is written, it is a good mix of the scientific and practical. The author is clear with their explanations and uses great examples to further illustrate their meaning. I occasionally found parts of the book repetitive but I’m sure others will find that repetition useful.

Overall, I found this to be a really useful book and I will be using much of the advice given.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read this book.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I realise it's only April but this is my non-fiction book of the year so far! 🎉🎊 Everyone should read this book! It was such an insightful read.

It breaks down the attachment styles and explains how to change yours in an easy to understand way. It was also easy to read generally. It's not just your own attachment style it can help with it will help build and improve your relationships with people who have different styles to you.

I've always associated attachment styles with romantic relationships but it talks about with family and friends. I love how easy it was to understand how you can work to change to having a secure attachment style.

I know this book and what I've learned from it will stay with me for a long time. I do believe it's life changing what it can teach you! It's been a long time since I've been this excited about a non-fiction book! 💃🏻

I really enjoyed reading this book and found it incredibly empowering and enlightening. So much so I will buy a physical copy of the book to keep on my shelf and be able to refer back to. 😍 I'll definitely be checking out

[Morag Murray · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a holy grail book - it starts by sharing the benefits of being ‘secure’ and then, wonderfully, it shares that there is a way to achieve secure attachment in adulthood (and how to achieve this!). Written by a psychologist who has a special interest in this topic (hence his previous book ‘Attached’), it is essential reading for anyone wanting to work on themself.

Part 1 is all about attachment, connections, science, and evidence, but backed up with interesting anecdotes - this is a deep dive, so much information, all explained very clearly.

Part 2 discusses the insecure attachment styles and how to help these become secure. For those who are unsure, there is a quiz to find their attachment style, then the attachment strategies are discussed. As an avoidant type I found CARRP so helpful, beautifully straightforward and yes - possible to implement!

I love how supportive and non-judgement this book is - it made me feel understood!

My thanks to NetGalley, author and publisher for the opportunity to review this book in exchange for an advance copy.

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an ARC copy in exchange for an honest review.

I wanted to read this book to see if it would be helpful for myself personally, and there were definitely some interesting points throughout. The book includes a variety of activities and exercises to work through, which could be useful for readers wanting a more interactive approach.

There were also some thoughtful perspectives and ideas that gave me a different way of looking at certain things, and at times I did find the information informative and insightful.

However, I unfortunately found the book quite difficult to follow in places, and I ended up losing interest as I went along. While I can see how it may help other readers, I’m not entirely sure it was the right fit for me personally.

Overall, a mixed read with some valuable ideas, but one I struggled to fully connect with.

[Hanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley for my free review copy.

As an A-Level Psychology teacher, a book about attachment was right up my street. I already know a lot about the research; what the different attachment types are, how they form, what it looks like in childhood/adolescence/adulthood. What I didn't really know was how to change your attachment type (a question my students requently ask). Now I feel I can put them in the direction of an easily accessible book with tips they can understand. In particular, I liked how Levine tried to steer away from the negativity surronding insecure attachments (as someone with an insecure attachment to her parents!) and saw it not an issue that needing immediate fixing as such but as a different way of interpreting situations. I also liked how Levine centred it around social interaction, almost from a client-centered therapy perspective: it felt like he was cheering everyone on. This is definitely a book I will recommend.

[Gabriella · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars. I really loved this, both as a standalone and as a follow up to Attached. I felt it was well written, perfecting the balancing act between scientific information and accessibility for the average reader while still being informative, offering different insights and development opportunities. I also loved that this covered anxious, avoidant and fearful avoidant with examples of all and exercises for all.

I can safely say this will be one I’ll refer back to (particularly for CARRP) and will be getting a physical copy once released.

Finally, while all views are 100% my own I do need to thank NetGalley & publisher Cornerstone for the advanced copy and early opportunity to read & review!

[Julie Simons · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like the lack of pathologizing and discussing the lack of definitive evidence of causation from childhood experiences to adult attachment. I especially appreciated the discussion and explanation on avoidant attachment and how it shows up in relationships. The positive reframing approach was refreshing. But much of the advice I found too reductive , obvious or unrealistic. Also, understand the author’s decision to create acronyms & catchy labels like carp and spiel, but I personally found them distracting (although other people may find them very helpful). Helping people with insecure attachments to be more accepting of themselves and empowering them to change situations when they can in order accommodate their attachment needs seems a helpful approach overall.

[Heather Jones · Rating 3 out of 5]

First off I will say that I write reviews from the perspective of how it relates to me. Three stars maybe harsh, but for me, it was concepts that I’ve heard just with a different coat on. There were a few great points and I was left craving more info and more “how to”. I felt that there wasn’t enough dedicated to the what’s next of after you decipher your attachment style. Too much convincing that it’s even a thing and complex (seemingly via audiobook) algorithms to find out what your style is.
I probably won’t listen to it again but I am also glad to hear it. It had some good nuggets and great reminders.

[Chrissann Nickel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I find attachment theory not only deeply fascinating, but something that has helped me understand myself and how I interact with the world and other people better.

The author’s first book, Attached, is one of the best books I’ve read on attachment theory, and so I was super excited to see this new release. This one is a good companion to the first; I wouldn’t read this without reading that one beforehand.

There are some practical tips and insights in here, but it’s more of a perspective-shifter, and about learning to appreciate and harness what’s unique about yourself. The author’s podcast appearances in promoting this book were also great, and useful supplementary material.

[Louise · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an interesting read that explained the different types of attachment styles and how to build on these. It was careful to affirm and explain the positive reasons behind each of the attachment types and it gave practical ways to build on these.

However, there were some things about this book I found somewhat strange. It seemed to come from an assumption that people had a range of friends and that a key was to undertsand how to rework these. But some people don't have (m)any friends and those people aren't necessarily open to friendship conversations. So, what then?

I also raised an eyebrow at the therapist who made herself available 24 hours a day and that the author didn't see this as a problem. Maybe that's a more normal thing in the USA, but not having boundaries etc is surely not a great quality in a therapist. The author also offered and enocuraged live coaching sessions with clients during arguments with their partner- and encouraged readers to get input from others during their own arguments - which seemed a touch bizarre. What friend wants to get involved in a live argument between a couple? And unless a friend is willing and able to be objective and offer wise counsel surely it could just end up with the friends encouraging or reinforcing what the person wants to hear.

I thought the book had some interesting ideas and took a really positive approach, but was also a bit odd in places.

[Bayu Ahmad · Rating 5 out of 5]

I actually enjoyed this book more than the Attached book, perhaps because this one is more prescriptive than descriptive. I appreciate how the book discusses attachment beyond romantic settings and what it takes to have or be in a secure environment.

The author also explained how insecure attachments are not merely a product of upbringing and can be a superpower in the right conditions, which I think helps people learn about their attachment styles and adapt accordingly, instead of being ignorant or ashamed about them.

[Jen]

Hang out with more secure people.
Ok, well maybe it's not *quite* that simple, but having really liked Attached, I was disappointed by this book.
Also, the audiobook really didn't work very well with the (excessive) amount of multiple choice questions that are intended to confirm the reader is really grasping the material.

No rating because while I really enjoyed some of the new insights (you are who you are but not necessarily with every person), I found myself speed-listening through some of the later chapters.

[Brittiany Foley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Followup to Attached. Kinda silly. TLDR; surround yourself in positive, secure environments to heal and maintain secure attachment. Pretty obvious. I kinda hope this one gets roasted on the podcast "If Books Could Kill". Many stars because it helped navigate interacting with and understanding people with different attachment styles, ensured plasticity for attachment, and debunked parental relationships fully forming attachment styles. I can see this being helpful for some people.

[Lucy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book to be super helpful! I can see what attachment styles myself and my husband have and the chapters explained how to work on these with clear examples. I enjoyed the patient experiences and workshop questions provided to see this working in motion.

Thank you so much, I will be getting to work finding my secure tribe and using wall tennis for a few people!

Highly recommend this book.

[Helen · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting book and it would be ideal for someone who doesn’t know much about attachment theory. There was a big emphasis on relationships which of course makes sense given the subject area, but it would have been interesting to have some more focus on inner work rather than just those who can help you feel secure. Thanks to NetGalley and Cornerstone Press for the ARC.

[Lucy · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great follow on from arguably the best book I’ve ever read, Attached. This book deep dives into the secure attachment style and how, regardless of your current style you can adopt strategies to foster secure relationships, whilst acknowledging that your attachment style can vary towards others (eg anxious to some vs avoidant to others).

[Gayle · Rating 5 out of 5]

My favorite book so far this year! I found his evidence backed nuanced discussion of avoidant and anxious attachment styles a refreshing look on a trending topic. What if we identify the gifts in our attachment styles instead of considering them as major defects? What if we could intentionally seek environments in which we can flourish without trying to remake ourselves? Very hopeful outlook.

[Abigail T · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have found this book incredibly helpful. As someone who has an anxious attachment style , I have gained some great coping mechanisms that I will use in the future . Very easy to read with a lot of helpful information.

[Camille]

Haverhill Public Library
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Ipswich Public Library
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Being acquired by the library
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Lawrence Public Library
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Being acquired by the library

[Micah McCarty · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not as good as his other book, Attached. Maybe I read these too close together because I felt like it covered many of the same ideas. Still great to know and view relationships through attachment styles, I would just recommend Attached.

[Sophia Exintaris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely fascinating.
Coping mechanisms to slowly shift insecure attachment behaviours to be more secure and therefore more compatible with maintaining relationships.
Also some tips on whom to let go of and how. Because some people just don’t fit.