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245 pages, Paperback
First published July 31, 2025
Ammu said jasmines were heavenly flowers, placed on earth by God's most favoured angels, to remind them of him during the most precious moments of a woman's life. Lucky remembered filling her hands with them as a girl, how those first jasmines rolled around each other to fit into the curves of her palms like flowing water. She remembered how the same smell had enveloped her as Waleed placed a garland around her head in front of their families. How his nose had twitched at the flowers tied on her wrists when they hovered around his neck, and how the flowers shrivelled and closed their petals at night so as not to see or hear them.
In the camp, the jasmines slumped from loneliness, having realised long ago that no one would pluck them. Though they blinked open and spread their scent far, the soldiers' hearts were too hard to notice their beauty, and the women's too hollow to cherish it. For Lucky, the small stars stretched and squeezed her faded memories and shrouded her eyes with a watery warmth until sleep overcame her.
When Jamila had been gone, her image had remained just behind Lucky's eyes even in wakefulness. It leapt in front of her thoughts and rattled her chest so hard she forgot the stench of the soldiers' sweat and the waste bucket in the corner of the room. As night terrors began to consume her, instead of sleeping, Lucky opened her chest to look inside and found her heart lay where two oceans met, between salt and freshwater. She was always there, in the middle. Never brave, never cowardly. Never angry, never at peace. But in a much worse place altogether, in wait. Spirit apart from body. A breathing inhabitant of the barzakh.
Beyond the windows, white jasmines sat on royal green leaves like soft reminders of a distant love that ran through her life. Like the laughter of women with baskets made of wood and bamboo leaves, who plucked jasmine buds from their roots and eagerly traced their fingers over budding petals, giddy to garnish life's beautiful moments with garlands. Now, her heart burned with a heat she wished she did not feel. A yearning, hellish heat to see those same white jasmines lining the barred windows, stained red with the repentance of men who had sold their hearts in exchange for hers.