Love All Our Neighbors: How Churches That Hold a Traditional Sexual Ethic Can Care for LGBTQ People

by Tony Scarcello

"When we interact with our LGBTQ+ neighbors we are not interacting with an ideology, a political movement, a social media post, a caricature from a movie, or a law being debated in Congress. We are interacting with people made in the image of God, who our Savior bled and died to redeem. We are interacting with someone God literally loved to the point of his own death." Cultivate Community With LGBTQ+ Neighbors Too often, fear and suspicion have characterized churches' response to LGTBQ+ people. As we remain committed to the historic Christian teachings about marriage and sexuality, American evangelical churches have also harmed a community we have not understood. Our default has been to keep LGBTQ+ people at arm's length. But there is another way, one that resists both culture wars and the pressure to revise scriptural teaching; one that embraces people and clings to historic witness. In Love All Our Neighbors, Tony Scarcello shows how holding a traditional sexual ethic does not have to lead toward the exclusion of LGBTQ+ people from church. Drawing from biblical theology, cultural data, and the author's personal experience as a same-sex-attracted pastor, this bookteaches traditional Christians and churches how to truly care for LGBTQ+ people. Scarcello explains how churches can and should be places of conviction, humility, and radical love for everyone. In Love All Our Neighbors, you'll learn how Jesus loves LGBTQ+ people and desires to know them, how churches have built unbiblical barriers between LGBTQ+ people and Jesus, and how to dismantle these barriers and minister with care, without compromising orthodox theology.
If you're a church leader who upholds a traditional sexual ethic and seeks to genuinely care for LGBTQ+ individuals, you'll find this book both challenging and transformative. With thoughtful guidance, Love All Our Neighbors equips churches committed to historic Christian teaching to overcome barriers, fostering a Jesus-centered, life-giving community that embraces everyone with grace and love. Our churches can become environments where LGBTQ+people can find and follow Jesus in life-giving community.

224 pages, Paperback

Published May 19, 2026

Reviews

[Nevaeh Williams · Rating 4 out of 5]

“The story we live in is the story we live out.”

Pastor Tony spit bars with this book. This encouraged me to be more of a peacemaker every day and to do the difficult work of reconciliation while fully holding to both grace and truth.

[Madeline · Rating 5 out of 5]

“When we interact with our LBGTQ+ neighbors we are not interacting with an ideology, political movement, social media post, movie caricature, or bill being debated in congress. We are interacting with people, made in the image of God, whom our Savior bled and died to redeem. We are interacting with people God loved literally to the point of his own death. When we regard people from a worldly point of view, that is a surefire sign our muddy biases and ideologies have eclipsed the redeeming radiance of the cross.”

So many Christians have hurt the LGBTQ+ community when turning to fear instead of love throughout history- representing the opposite of Christ with hate, slander, and violence. This book wonderfully shows us a way to still deeply love and care for our LGBTQ+ neighbors even with a perspective of having a traditional sexual ethic. Making our table bigger, repenting of the ways we have deeply hurt this community as a church and learning the art of inclusion. Thanks Pastor Tony for this!!!!

[Glenn Crouch · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. It is good to read a book that does treat our traditional sexual ethic seriously - as something that is good. It is also good to read a book that wants to help us as followers of Jesus (and as congregations of those people) to show forth geniune love to our LGBTQ neighbours. Even better, to have a pastor write this book who has great insight into this.

While we don’t need to agree with all thoughts and items raised, I do think this book encourages a good, open, safe discussion on these topics. And as Christians we need to be talking about them, especially if we talk our understanding of Mission seriously.

I do feel Scarcello is quite gentle and patient as he develops his argument, and I appreciated the honesty in the stories (including his own) that he relates.

Chapter 10 (which is brilliant) may be the one you want to jump straight to, but believe me - it has much better impact if you have dwelt in the 9 chapters that have gone before.

Highly recommended to all Christians who desire to love their neighbours better.

[Darcy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Writing from a very real and personal perspective, and guided by a deep reflection on Scripture, Scarcello’s work is a must read for all conservative churches and Christians seeking to find that pathway of love with their 2SLGBTQ+ friends and family while holding to a traditional Christian sexual ethic. The work called for in this book is both hard and may seem risky. But Scarcello’s call to “orthodox inclusivity (p. 198) involves genuine repentance and the embodiment of love without compromising one’s understanding of Scripture. Such a posture, Scarcello contends, will lead to a far deeper understanding of grace, the calling of the Christian, and the mission of the Church to be embodiments of God’s goodness to this mixed up world. I suspect, however, that people’s commitments to the culture war—whichever side they may be on—may lead many to disregard this work, to their own detriment.

[James August · Rating 5 out of 5]

I met Tony Scarcello at a conference in Portland prior to this books release and have been looking forward to getting a chance to read it. Tony’s story and perspective are such a blessing to Gods Kingdom.

I am also a minister and found this book (along with Preston Sprinkles book People to be loved) as great resources for ministry.

I pray for the church to be a place where honesty, vulnerability, mercy, truth, justice, and compassion can thrive. For that is the true LOVE that is God. I pray for LGBT plus people. I pray they feel as though Jesus is for them. I pray they feel, and truly believe, that churches are open to them. I pray for compassion with an earnest desire for knowing and welcoming for my fellow Christians, and I pray that the traditional sexual ethic is held while love is felt.

Thank you Tony

[Joshua Loftin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed Chapter 6, which I found to be one of the highlights of the book. However, I do wish Scarcello had gone deeper into each subsection of that chapter. Additionally, I believe a more in-depth defense and explanation of his practical suggestions for inclusion without affirmation within the church would have been helpful. Overall, I think it is a worthwhile book to read and reflect on in light of our current cultural context.

[Patrice · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks for your vulnerability, Tony. This book shows your humility, kindness and scholarship. An important book that all Christians should read.

Best line: "... that just scared the netherworld out of them ..."

[Kirk & · Rating 4 out of 5]

Best I've read on a gospel approach to LGBTQ

Hopeful and compassionate words, filled with wisdom and lived experience.
Orthodox to scripture and challenging to churchy bumpersticker theology.

Easy to read, complex to apply faithfully.
Please read.

[Jake Nagy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A powerful, personal and profound theological work. Tony Scarcello’s wisdom is a gift to the church!