My Billionaire Triceratops Craves Gay Ass

by Chuck Tingle

Jeremy was never quite sure about his feelings for Oliver, his gay pet dinosaur, until Oliver scores big and leaves home to pursue his dreams of being a dancer.

Years later, the two of them reconnect for dinner in New York City, and realize that there may have been more to their relationship besides prehistoric pet and master. Now a wealthy socialite, Oliver the triceratops is willing to take another chance on Jeremy, and soon the two find themselves locked in a passionate evening of gay human-dino love.

This erotic tale is 4,300 words of sizzling human on gay triceratops action, including anal, blowjobs, rough sex, and prehistoric beast love.

Genres: Erotica, LGBT, Romance, Adult, Humor, M M Romance, Queer

35 pages, Kindle Edition

First published December 9, 2014

About the author

Chuck Tingle is a mysterious force of energy behind sunglasses and a pink mask. He is also an anonymous author of romance, horror, and fantasy. Chuck was born in Home of Truth, Utah, and now splits time between Billings, Montana and Los Angeles, California. Chuck writes to prove love is real, because love is the most important tool we have when resisting the endless cosmic void. Not everything people say about Chuck is true, but the important parts are.

Management and general inquiry: infotingleverse@gmail.com

Literary agent: DongWon at dongwonsong.com

Reviews

[SheReadsALot · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nothing to see here. Nothing out of the ordinary about a twink and his ex-pet triceratops boning like dick and ass were extinct.

Chuck.

Chucky, Chuck Chuck.



This will be our last dance for now. I can't overload on the same author for too long or I'll recognize their tells.

And I've got yours, Chucky Chuck Chuck. :) I think the Unicorn biker porn was the best out of the three but who the fuck gives a shit about an in-depth review on creature banging? They're probably more interested if they need to bring an extra hand to the party or not.

Thank goodness this is all you've written for now, huh? Dino Triceratops porn.

*nods* Not my first Dino porn. I did search for gay dino porn on the interwebz, holy shit...the results..I can see your inspiration. Those are some gargantuan cocks, I doubt any of them can fit into any human holes but that's the magic of fantasy PWP, huh, Chucky?



If you dream it, it will cum.



Let's talk about the thing that is probably on everyone's (my) mind.

You put a top hat AND a monocle to display how wealthy Oliver the gay billionaire triceratops is?


I'm still crying from laughter and it's been 4 days since I discovered this gem. You know what? Let's repeat once more.



Because the first paragraph, truly set the tone.

I hadn’t seen Oliver, my pet triceratops , in years, but what I remember about him wasn’t great. While my other pets were easy going and free spirited, he was the voice of discipline and reason. A large creature with broad shoulders and a deep, bellowing voice, I eventually become more than a little scared of him, and eventually thankful when he finally moved to the deep south to become a dancer at an all male cabaret. I couldn’t discipline him either, as he had become a billion due to string of impeccably well-placed Super Bowl bets.

Because a gay billionaire dinosaur who made his money on the stock markets is so 1998.

Jeremy, Oliver's ex-owner, is a twink out of the closet, living in NYC, pining for his ex-pet. Wanting to get a ride on his "triceracock" is what. Man and dinosaur have been apart for four years, Oliver making it big as a dancer, his rock hard abs making the dino-lovers aquiver. There was a light, drop or two of feelz. Jeremy and Oliver reunite. And I laughed.

“Everything okay?” Oliver’s voice asks from the other end of the line, knocking me back into reality. “Sorry, it’s kinda hard to hold the phone up with my claws.”

^^^*gut laughs*

"He was always a good-looking dinosaur, but the specks of grey that now dot his scales have added an air of self-assured beastliness. Oliver’s also dressed way been then he ever did when he was my pet, the cutthroat world of male burlesque doing a complete one-eighty on his previously tired fashion sense."

I think I'm going to read this the next time I have some wine to see if it's even funnier. Because WTF, Chucky Chuck Chuck. LMAO.

The two had simmering prehistoric beast passion in their veins and they followed Chicky's tells aka script of gay PWP...change it up, son. It can only last so long, m'kay? I love dirty talk like the next gal but you gotta spice it up, change it around. ;D

This did make me tingle...with laughter mostly.

“Tell me I’m a nasty human manslut.” I beg.

Oliver shakes his head in mock disappointment. “What are we going to do with you? Such a nasty little human twink, you need a real dinosaur to show you how to fuck.”

“I’m sorry.” I say, biting my lip coyly.

“Sorry isn’t good enough this time you fucking human slutboy.” My triceratops roars. “You’re going to take this dick until you can’t even walk straight.”

Overall, enjoyable just not as much as your other reads, Chucky. I hope you don't mind being called Chucky, after reading your entire library of work, I feel like we're beyond formalities.

Oral, Anal, sex toy, DP...dinosaur fucking, baby!


#dinoporn #ChuckyChuckChuckCould #LaughingLikeAMofoYo #Triceracockwillblowyourbackout #tastethedinorainbow #damnIgottareadrealbooksnow

[Nick Pageant · Rating 3 out of 5]

This moment has been building for years and now that it's finally here I don't know how to react, completely overwhelmed by my homosexual taboo attraction to this ferocious dinosaur.

"Tell me I'm a nasty human manslut." I beg.

This was a sight to behold. I'm in awe, Mr. Tingle. AWE.

[AleJandra · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 TRICERACOCK STARS

Solo leí este libro, por culpa de mi cochina curiosidad. Y déjenme decirles que no lo vale.

Me arrepiento? SI

No por lo bizarra que es la historia, si no porque pague $3.50 por un ebook de 15 paginas.


La trama es simple, Jeremy un guapo joven editor, recibe una llamada de Oliver invitándolo a cenar, pero ellos dos tienen tanta química juntos que ni siquiera cenan si no que se van directo a su departamento y tienen sexo salvaje.

Oh si un pequeño detalle que se me olvidaba mencionar: Oliver es un Triceratops que solía ser mascota de Jeremy.

"For as much of an overbearing pain in the ass that my gay billionaire triceratops was, I always thought he was kind of hot."



En conclusión: A veces necesitamos probar cosas nuevas, solo para saber si nos gustan, y yo en este momento estoy 100 % segura que no siento ningún tipo de atracción sexual hacia los dinosaurios. Bueno hacia los Triceratops, quizá después le de una oportunidad a los Raptors.

[Dino-Jess ✮ The Book Eating Dinosaur ✮ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well, this was my first Tingle and I have to say MacHalo Crew - WHAT A CHOICE.

It is no secret that I love dinosaurs, it is also no secret that I love smut, so what better book choice is there for me, than My Billionaire Triceratops Craves Gay Ass.

"I kept a secret regarding Oliver bottled up deep inside, pushed deep into the darkest corners of my brain and only brought out in my weakest, lustful gay moments."

This was amazing. It was awful. It was hilarious. It was horrible. It was an experience.

I'm going to highlight some of my favorite quotes, but I have to let it be known that nearly this entire short story is quotable. It's FANTASTICALLY HORRIFIC.

"You know half the people in here probably think we're on a date, anyway. Some rich old triceratops with a hot piece of human arm candy."

Um, also, I feel like I should highlight that the Triceratops on the cover is wearing a monocle. OLIVER THE TRICERATOPS IS WEARING A MONOCLE.

"I know I'm not supposed to think these taboo gay thoughts about my own dinosaur pet."

So. Onto the story. Story is probably pushing things a bit, but hey. Jeremy had a pet triceratops called Oliver. He was big and scary and eventually "moved to the deep south to become a dancer at an all male cabaret." So we have a cabaret dancing triceratops. Yep. Lets move things along. They meet up and then basically things turn into... 50 Shades of Lustful Gay Triceratops.... see below:

"He's completely dino-handling me"

"Fuck me right now. I need you in my asshole with that triceratops dick."

And this one is my favorite:

"They don't have your massive triceracock."

This was so great. I feel really sorry for the people who were sitting next to me on the train while I read this, I was cackling with laughter. This was my first Tingle, but it definitely will not be my last.

3 green-dinosaur-balls Stars

[Emma Sea · Rating 3 out of 5]

this is all the response I can muster:

[Marcie · Rating 3 out of 5]

<Weird Shit Wednesday Group Read

*** 3 Triceratops is a cabaret dancer/billionaire stars ***



I was already laughing before I even started the book. I mean, the title and the author's name...*snorts*... is funny all on its own.

This was definitely some weird shit. But the kind of weird that had me snorting and laughing. So if you want a roll-the-eye-this-is-crazy read then you got a good one to start with right here.

Oh and btw, you might not want to read this in public unless you're prepare to answer when someone asks what you are reading. Awkward situation is awkward...trust me.

[DoodlePanda · Rating 2 out of 5]

Oh and just cause I feel like it:

[Britta ★ Nachteule ★ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Weird Shit Wednesday on 14th of January with the gang. Woooohoooooo!



*********************************************

Dear Chuck Tingle,

I want your babies!

Forever yours,
Britta Nachteule

Chuck Tingle has a gift! A gift for writing weird shit! I would have liked to quote the whole book. It's so... so... I have no words. Not just that it's indeed weird shit but it's so comical I was crying for laughter!

Just read the book! OK?

[Monty Cupcake ☠ Queen of Bloodshed ☠ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Amazing buddy read with those unhinged ladies in the MacHalo Group. Get ready for the romance...hahahaha


As always in a Tingler read, not a whole lot makes sense, but that is part of it's inherent charm. There are a lot of things that make you wonder if the author has spell check/grammar on his computer, and question his grasp of the English language. Butt(pun intended), that's nothing compared to the most ridiculous and silly stories you can ever read.

This short story is about Jeremy and his former pet, Oliver, a triceratops, who has since "moved to the deep south to become a dancer at an all male cabaret. I couldn’t discipline him either, as he had become a billion due to string of impeccably well-placed Super Bowl bets."

Yeah...They reconnect and the romance blooms. Okay, no romance, but a lot of awkwardness, dirty talk, and dirty encounters. The best part about a Tingler book is the quotes. The whole thing is quotable. I leave you with these gems and my amazing graphics:

"“Sorry, it’s kinda hard to hold the phone up with my claws.”"

"He’s a triceratops who’s aged to perfection and has all of the confidence and charm that comes with it."

"He stands up to greet me as I walk over to him, giving me a big hug with his tiny triceratops arm and then pulling out my chair as I sit down in the across from him; Old school Jurassic chivalry."

"From this angle I can see his incredible body, toned and muscular due to a rigid dance routine that could only be accomplished by the most disciplined of prehistoric creatures."

"giant dino member"
"He’s completely dinohandling me."
"dino dick"
"massive triceracock"

[Heidi · Rating 2 out of 5]

Weird Shit Wednesday Woohoo!!





And I read IT too!

I'm going with 2.5 Dino Stars cause it wasn't quite as good as Taken By The Gay Unicorn Biker but still a laugh a minute with highlights throughout the book!

[mina reads™️ · Rating 1 out of 5]

The wonderful intersection of capitalism and dinosaur smut. See more thoughts here: https://youtu.be/dydEbNAlGIM

[Krissy · Rating 2 out of 5]

My first weird shit Wednesday book. Wish me luck...


**20 minutes later**


Whelp. There's no turning back now. I've officially entered the dark side.

[Kiera · Rating 2 out of 5]

Please don’t talk to me about this in public I will walk away and scream if necessary.

The whole plot of this book is obscure, Chuck Tingle books for you I guess. If I was rating the book on steaminess, it would get 5 stars. And then I would steam myself to forgot what I just read.

So there’s a dinosaur who rises to wealth and his previous owner. They run into each other years down the road at a coffee shop. Then it continues, but you also have to suffer through the book if you want to know what happens.

Will I read another one of his books? I shouldn’t publicly admit it but tbh I might. Not for awhile though. I’m gonna need at least a decade of mental health recovery time.

[Sofia Nordberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing.

[jagodasbooks · Rating 1 out of 5]

Do u also read mentally scarring book to be immune to every shite that might happen in your life or are you normal?

[ame · Rating 1 out of 5]

Why? Just why?

I hate this

[Xia and the Giant TBR]

an exceptional piece of "literature"
Can't be rated... I may have lost brain cells while reading ... I want what Chuck Tingle's having during his inspirational bouts

[Bren · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is why I have trust issues when my friends recommend me things to read. At least I got a really good laugh?

[K · Rating 1 out of 5]

After coming off the meta masterpiece that is Turned Gay By The Existential Dread That I May Actually Be A Character In A Chuck Tingle Book, I was appalled at the number of grammatical issues and typos, not to mention blatant wrong word usages in My Billionaire Triceratops Craves Gay Ass (up until the end scene anyway). It's like anything other than the sex doesn't matter.

[Pilii · Rating 3 out of 5]

Que cosas leo

[Rebecca · Rating 2 out of 5]

SPOILER FREE!
i read this out of curiosity and my curiosity was satisfied. this is the weirdest thing ive ever read, but it made me laugh and answered all the questions i had come up with after reading the sinopsis. i wish we had more background info from the characters and how dinosaurs coexist with humans, but that’s not the point of the book. there’s no point to this book, really. read it if you’re bored and want to be slightly comedically scarred. from the reviews ive read, this is not his best work, but im not sure if id give him another shot. maybe when i need a quick, humorous read that will shock me. like the lesbian bread one. i like chuck’s brain. im also slightly concerned for him, but it’s okay.

[Isabel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Con errores y horrores ortográficos, Tingle nos enseña que lo que realmente se necesita para el éxito literario es algo de humor, mucho lubricante y tricerapija descomunal en el ano.

[Maya Hernandez]

I am speechless.
This is indescribable.
I laughed out loud.
Triceracock?
Dinohandling?
Mr. Tingle is one of one.
This is a dark stain on my Goodreads.

[♛ Garima ♛]

This is my first (and probably last) attempt reading Chuck Tingle. I wanted to know what the fuss was all about. I guess late night insomnia made me do it....



Never again....

[Kris]

how did i even get here

[Adara]

After reading this review with excerpts from the story, apparently one of Chuck Tingle's hobbies is NOT grammar or proofreading.

Author? Pfft.

I won't give him my money if he won't give me his respect.

[surfmadpig · Rating 3 out of 5]

Any story that includes the word "triceracock" deserves praise.

Also, “You know, half the people in here probably think we’re on a date, anyway. Some rich old triceratops with a hot piece of human arm candy.”

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Um...I...ah...hmmm.

Because triceracock, that's why!

[monika · Rating 1 out of 5]

i cant believe i made it my first book in 2k16....

[Samuel Luther · Rating 3 out of 5]

too many grammar mistakes for it to be 4 stars. but “triceracock” is truly the pinnacle of literature.