He was my best friend; the person I found solace in when the world became too much. Over time, our friendship developed into something more--something scary, something intriguing. In due time, he had become the boy I loved. But I didn't know back then that not all love stories had a happy ending. He may have been the boy I loved, but he'd also become my biggest downfall, and possibly, my greatest regret.
Dominic
After my father died, I lost myself. I turned to partying, shoplifting, even girls. But it didn't matter what substance I pumped into my body, what girl I took to bed; none of them could erase Hazel. She stuck by my side during my darkest moments, never judging me once. But after I got into some legal trouble, I found myself in a deeper hole. Like the good uncle he was, he came to my rescue. But what I didn't know then, was that not all family had your best interest at heart. He roped me in, pulled me into his world, and forced me to do his bidding. In order to keep my sister and best friend safe, I had to keep doing what I was doing, or risk losing them both.
The Boy I loved is the first book in a series of interconnected standalones. For the best reading experience, it is recommended that you begin with this one and read in order. This book is NOT a romance. It is a horror/thriller with romance elements. If you're looking for a happily ever after, you won't find it in this book. If you have any triggers, it will probably be in this book--always proceed with caution.
Annika was born and raised in Oklahoma. She's an introvert with social anxiety, and spends all of her free time reading, writing, or caring for her three children. Annika is 23 years old and writes a variety of different things, all of which are dark in some way.
Please make sure to check the trigger warning for each of her books before jumping in, as they may be triggering.
• Pitch‑black • Childhood friends • Friends to lovers to something broken • Trafficking • Non‑con • Dub‑con • Kidnapping • Body betrayal • Knife play • Trauma bonding
⚠️ You absolutely must check the TWs before reading… Do not go in blind ⚠️
********
Haunting.
If I could carve one word into the spine of this book, it would be that.
The horrors within these pages will live with me for a long time.
This book went beyond what I expected.
It is despair written in ink. It is hopelessness leaping off the page. It is sorrow and heartbreak woven into every line.
Hazel feels like someone you already know. The quiet one. The steady one. The girl who loves without asking for anything back. Dominic is every perfect boy you’ve ever seen, the popular preppy sports boy with his life ahead of him and the world at his feet.
That part? That feels safe. Familiar. And then the ground gives way. And he’s not that boy anymore. She’s not that girl anymore.
The things that happen after aren’t fantasy. They’re the horrors whispered about. They’re the nightmares that exist just out of sight… until they’re not.
I keep looping moments in my head. The choices. The losses. The moments that made me physically sick.
There are erotic scenes in these pages… but don’t mistake them for passion or tenderness. They are not the loving kind. They are the kind that twist intimacy into something brutal and terrifying. The kind that makes your skin crawl Its desire weaponised, used as another tool of control, of power, of pain.
There’s no neat box to place this story in. It’s too jagged, too raw, too alive with grief and violence and truth.
Before you pick this up, read every single trigger warning. Don’t skim them. Don’t assume. This book does not flinch.
This isn’t hope wrapped in a bow. This isn’t hearts and flowers. This is what it feels like when love is twisted into something unrecognisable When the world shows its teeth and bites down hard.
✨ Would I recommend it? Yes… but not lightly. I recommend it because some stories aren’t meant to comfort you. They’re meant to wake you up. And this one does.
This isn’t a love story. This is a story of a boy and a girl who fall in love and the horrors of the world that tear them apart.
Whew…I had to talk this one out to my husband. Usually when I’m unsure how I feel I give him a rundown of the book and highlight key points or wtf moments.
First off for me I hated Dom. He drove me nuts when his classic “nice guy” persona. He constantly tried to justify his actions but saying they were a “kindness” and while some definitely were compared to what could have happened…he just felt meh. I struggled to connect to his characters and honestly enjoyed Tristian more. I don’t know what that says about me but he at least never claimed to be anything but the monster he was. He never hid behind love or excuses he just did as he pleased.
With all that said Hazel was on it. She truly was the epitome of survivor. She did everything she had to that she needed to to just survive. She truly was a complex character that I severely underestimated.
The twist at the end with her was wild and I’m ready to see where the story goes in book 2.
This book has changed my brain chemistry over the last 3 days that I read it.
I was in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship when I was 17 to 19, with a guy who was 5 years older than me. I was a different person then, "Nat the Mat." I was naive, I was too sweet, I thought nothing bad could happen to me (just like Hazel). Reading this book was like stepping into all those emotions that I had tried to hide in the deep confines of my mind. Immersing myself within the stories of the FMC and the other female characters who were sex trafficked made me re-experience and share in their hopelessness, helplessness, despair, shame and rage. Rage Rage RAGE!
This book is a masterpiece in storytelling. I have never read a book like this before in my life, and I truly thought that no movie, TV show, or book could "trigger" me. I honestly think what triggered me the most was the blatant disregard for human life and the absolute unapologetic hatred towards women displayed by most of the MCs in this story that embolden them to abuse them, torture them, and murder them. I felt so much during this book that afterward, I cried in my husband's arms and held on tight, and needed to take Ativan. I described how it felt like I was reliving pieces of my past through their stories and feeling the hope as felt by the FMC at the end (she receives a happy ending!). But always fearing in the back of my mind, what if they can still find me? Which, based on the sneak peak of book 2, at the end, she is correct to think.
This book is not for the faint-hearted. I will not read a book like this again for a very long time (lmfao I will stick to my dark stalker romances for now!). However, I will explore Annika's other works and will read the sequel, as her writing is magnificent. Thank you for making me work through my own trauma with this - in the end, it was cathartic for me.
What can I say? This book is dark, so many triggers, check the warning before m Hazel is the girl next door in love with her best friend Dominic. He starts hanging out with the wrong crowd and gets sent to a correctional camp for two years. She waits for him but the boy she loved is not who returned. He's harder now, mean and distant. We slowly start to learn he and his friends are working for some bad guys stealing women. Hazel gets taken and is out through the most traumatic things imaginable. Ends on a cliffhanger and no happy ending.
Wow!!! I couldn't put this book down and was left feeling a bit broken.
Dom and Hazel grew up together, became best friends, and it grew into something deeper. He was her first everything and things were going amazing until tragedy strikes Dom's world.
He gets sent away to a boy's camp and comes home a cold, distant shell of the person he was. Hazel tries to honor his wishes and stay away but their connection is to strong and he can't help himself regardless of the costs. And the cost is greater than either can imagine.
Definitely definitely check trigger and content warnings because there are some interesting ones!! There's definitely not a HEA for anyone involved at this point. There's trauma and abuse on page. Steam and a few awe moments but overall the wtaf factor is a consistent throughout the book and just when you think it can't get any more Annika hits you a few more times. Definitely recommend this book and can't wait for the next one!!
5 ⭐️ Haunting! That’s how you write a pitch black book! I could see the train wreck coming from a mile away, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away. It was soo dark, f*cked up and twisted. And the ending - fitting. I don’t think any of them truly deserve redemption for what they’ve done, but I want to see where this all goes and read their stories. Especially Tristan and Nicholas.
The effect it has is so strong because of her writing.. it makes you feel everything so intensely, I got a limp in my throat and a tightness in my chest ever since the first chapters. But this is NOT a romance and you don’t get a happy ending!
“It felt like someone had reached into my chest, wrapped their fingers around my heart and squeezed until blood squirted from it at all angles.”
“The boy I knew and loved died in that treehouse. There was never a chance for us.” 💔
This story was just WOW!!!!!! A very adorable, traumatic, twisted and unhinged, rip the heart out emotional roller coaster! Definitely NOT a happy ending for like anyone in the book! If you have ANY triggers at all please remember to check the trigger list because this precious baby is full of them! I absolutely recommend this story. It will have you questioning your morals!
I WILL be posting a further detailed review, once I gather my thoughts and emotions. THIS WAS AN ABSOLUTE GUT WRENCHER. There is NO HEA and be warned this is NOT a romance. This is very much a Pitch Black Erotic Horror with some romantic elements. P.S. Usually even the darker books I have read have more romance then depravity, not this one. This was my first truly pitch black erotic horror with no HEA. There is no huge redemption arc for the dark MMC it is just dark.
✴.·´¯`·.·★ 🎀ᑭᖇOᑕEEᗪ ᗯITᕼ ᑕᗩᑌTIOᑎ🎀 ★·.·`¯´·.✴
SUMMARY Hazel and Dominc grew up together. Their fathers worked together, their families were close, and they lived close to one another. Over time their friendship grew to be more. Everything changed when Dominic's father sadly passed away. After the passing he began acting out and getting into trouble, leading him to being sentenced away for 2 years. After 2 years Hazel was finally going to be reunited with the boy she could not let go of. Except he did not act like the same boy at all, he was darker and scarier in many ways. Hazel will stop at nothing to understand why he changed and it will be her biggest downfall and regret. Her life is about to take a nosedive to the lowest depths possible.
Holy fricken hell... This story was just WOW!!! How do I even begin to put this into words... a very adorable, traumatic, twisted, unhinged, gut-wrenching, rip the heart out, definitely NOT a happy ending for like anyone in the book like not a single person, oh and make sure you have some tissues because fuck you will need them. Also if you have ANY triggers at all please please check the trigger list because this precious baby is full of every delicious trigger you could imagine. BUT I ABSOLUTELY RECOMMEND THIS STORY IT IS DELICIOUSLY TWISTED, UNHINGED, AND WILL SERIOUSLY HAVE YOU QUESTIONING YOUR OWN MORALS
4.5⭐️i havent felt this captivated by a story in awhile!!! The writing was phenomenal and though the content wasnt easy to read the writing was. I found myself flying through this one! It was dark and depraved and definitely didnt see that ending coming! Plus I was hooked off the bat from the prologue!
I just want to know if i was supposed to hate dom?!? Like?? Lowkey liked the villian moreee🥴 im excited for book 2 and definitely will read more of this authors books!
This was fucked up — and I loved every word of it. I couldn’t put it down and I couldn’t concentrate on anything else until I got to the end. The prologue for book 2 only made me more eager to read more
I needed a pitch black book and boy did this deliver triggers and all🖤🖤🖤 Last chapter had me stressed Annika Nofal you know how write a pitch black book I see you Queen🖤 I need book 2 in my hands..
This was pitch black and it broke my heart. Dom and Hazel were more than best friends and they loved each other deeply. That love would be their undoing. Dom wanted to protect Hazel by pushing her away and Hazel wasn't able to let him go. Dom inadvertently led her into his world and the trauma they both endured was painful, tragic, and utterly devastating. This book was dark and deep and it hurts. That being said, it's everything I want out of a story like this and I look forward to the next book in the series. I highly recommend reading the triggers; this book is written exceptionally well but it absolutely isn't for everyone.
Hollllyyyyy shit. What the f*ck did I just read! 😱 better yet whyyyyy did I give it 5 stars!? 🫠 Childhood best friends fall in love, tragedy strikes, MMC is sent away and returns a totally different person. This book is what nightmares are made of. However, I loved it but hated myself for loving it. LOL! I do recommend it but it takes a special reader to get through it. CHECK TW! The writing was top notch and the details given were truly terrifying. It was hard to read but I couldnt stop. The story of Dominic and Hazel was sad, traumatic, disturbing, and gut wrenching. Deep inside all the trauma there lies some kind of version of love. This doesn’t have an HEA but it does end on a plot twisting cliffy!
Wow, this was so good. Pitch black and fucking questionable stuff happened but it was a great read.
It made me uncomfortable in certain parts, I had to put it down to process what I was reading once because holy shit. This book will take you on a rollercoaster of emotions due to the fact that it’s really fucked up.
I felt for Hazel during this whole book, but she survived the only way she could given her situation she knew how to work the system from early on. The utter betrayal she must feel, and the emotions she went through, damn she’s tough.
Dom… I have a love hate relationship with him. This boy definitely had bipolar disorder or something cause the mood swings were giving me whiplash. I still can’t decide if I like him or not. The things he did were questionable made me wonder if he ever actually cared about Hazel.
Tristan is fucking insane. Like unhinged to the max. Boy needs help.
This was really well done, I cannot wait for the next book - I’m literally in my own head about what will potentially happen next. I would love to recommend this, but PLEASE read the triggers. There’s a LOT of dark content in this read, it’s not for the faint of heart, or stomach in my opinion. It’s wild, it’ll make you question your own sanity. But it’s great 😂 🤣
Intense, deep, powerful, consternation, bewilderment, horror…sooo many emotions…as such please read the trigger warnings before you start this book ‼️
From the onset Hazel and Dominic’s friendship from being young was growing into a strong relationship into adulthood, their parents embarrassing them with saying they’d get married. Sadly, even the best laid plans spiral into a twister 🌪️ of colossal proportions. Hazel tries to remain strong but when faced with adversity, she can’t help but lose herself. I seriously don’t want to give you anymore than this, suffice to say if you want erotic horror with a not so much of a HEA and you are psychotically unhinged this read will be for you 🖤 For me I wanted to climb in the book and 🔪 Dominic myself, so that gives you some idea how much this book affects you 🤣
Annika makes a point of ensuring readers are fully aware of just how sinister this story is going by issuing us with all the triggers, you only have yourself to blame if you deny reading them 🤭 Her writing certainly keeps your nose stuck to the page/screen, the visuals she creates are extremely effective 🩸💀🔨🔪💉⚰️🗝️ and these are still not enough 👀
Where to start with this amazingly disturbing book that I could NOT put down.
Dominic and Hazel were each other’s first love. However, Dominic gets mixed up into some stuff after his father passes away. It lands him in some "boy's camp" for 2 years and now he has returned home. Being at the welcome home party for Dom is both exciting and frightening for Hazel. One look at Dom and Hazel can see he is not the same boy she loved 2 years ago.
Everything has changed. Dom's physical appearances and the hard creases in-between his eyes, the hard look he gives her, bosses her like he no longer wants her to be around him.
Something has changed in Dominic and Hazel is wanting to find out what it is. Dominic wants her to stay away and is mean to her from the get-go when he sees her at his party and it only gets vile and unhinged from there. So many things are happening at the exact same time and there is way more at play here then what meets the eyes. And eyes are ALL over Hazel. Eyes Dominic is trying to get off of her. The story line to this is just WOW! The boys that seemed intense in high school are now even more troubled and intense than they used to be. Mason, Vincent, Nicholas, and Dom are dangerous and unhinged. The things they have seen and done are just vile. They are who they have to be in the world they have been sucked into. Some on their own and others had no choice. This book had me in all my feels. who can trust who? This book also broke me. It will live rent free in my mind for a very long time. So, strap in and buckle up because this is NOT a fairytale. Please check trigger warnings.
I loved this book. I cannot wait until the next one is available!
This has very dark themes and situations that are not easy to read.
8/10 stars I cried and screaming and threw my kindle in my rage induced fury.
Thank you Annika for making me feel all the things. Sadness, happiness, love, disgust, rage, can they change for her?
Just FYI Tristan is diabolical. This is NOT an HEA it is a tragic romance.
I don’t even know where to start except, read the TWS! This book is dark and covers some very heavy heavy topics. This was one of those books that I couldn’t stop reading, but at the same time made me sick because in reality you know sadly this stuff does actually happen.
Hazel feels like the girl next door. She is sweet, kind, shy, and empathetic. She’s the one who gives you everything and loves without asking for anything back in return. Dominic is the popular, outgoing, energetic, and full of life kid who everyone wants to be around. All of that changes when his father passes away and he gets around the wrong crowd and gets in trouble. He goes away and comes back someone completely different.
The to best friends who once knew everything about one another, the two who fell in love with each other, they will be become broken, and darkness will consume them.
What was once a safe town, will no longer be safe. A girl who trusted and loved so freely, she will become broken.
There are erotic scenes, but it’s not because of passion and love. It’s brutal, forced, and degrading. It’s sex used as a punished and control. For the pleasure of one side and to make the other feel less than. This is not a beautiful love story of a boy and girl who started off as childhood best friends. This is a horrific story of a girl who fell in love with her childhood best friend who got involved with something so dark that he couldn’t get out of and they used her as leverage.
It’s dark, raw, brutal, bloody, painful to read, and will have you possibly wanting to throw up, but it’s a good read. Sometimes some of the darkest reads are the best reads.
This one is dark, like pitch black, y’all. READ THE TRIGGER WARNINGS. I’m serious.
This is not a romance. It’s a deep, harrowing dive into some truly disturbing content. There is no HEA. In fact, there’s hardly anything happy about this book at all. Even If you think you’re trigger free, proceed with caution. ⚠️
That said, despite being one of the darkest books I’ve ever read, it’s also incredibly well written. I’m not sure what it says about me, but I loved it. I loved Hazel and Dominic, and how their bond evolved from innocent childhood friendship to something deeper… before unraveling into something dark and twisted.
I saw what was coming and still hoped I was wrong. My heart nearly broke when Dominic was deceived by those closest to him and Hazel paid the price.
The Boy I Loved is a devastating journey of a young woman and the man who pushed her away in an attempt to save her, and the brutal consequences of love, betrayal, and impossible choices.
No, this isn’t a love story. No, there’s no happy ending. But it’s a damn good book and I’ll absolutely be reading book two.
The Boy I Loved is the most pitch-black book I have read to date. This is not one to dip your toes in. This is for my more experienced and prepared pitch-black book buddies. When I tell you I had to walk away every couple of chapters due to the knots in my stomach, it's no joke. This one ALMOST had me at my limits, and that's saying something.
Our FMC and MMC are childhood friends, until a death in the family sends them on different paths. Our MMC is pulled into the pits of Hell, while our unsuspecting FMC ends up suffering for his decisions. The end had me gasping and feeling mixed emotions. I don't know how to come back from this and I'm pretty sure Annika Nofal has ruined me (in the best way) and set the highest expectations for my dark romance reads for the rest of my life.
Made it to 53% but couldn’t see myself continuing. Which is a bummer!
This had everything I love in a dark romance. There was history between the hero and the heroine. The hero got into some really bad stuff and he was trying to protect the heroine from who he had become. And I love the tension in that.
Now the author did say that this wasn’t necessarily a romance and that it was erotic horror. But somewhere along the way this just turned into straight violence against women with no sign of redemption. The heroine extended so many chances to the “hero” and it just became exhausting. Also having the 4 boys affiliated with this trafficking ring be seniors in high school was wild.
Major triggers for sex trafficking and abuse.
In saying that, the writing is very good and I am interested to see what this author will do in the future.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Holy smokes this is a very pitch black dark erotic horror. The characters in this book go through so much trauma. I loved this book. I can relate to this book. I love the MC’s and I love the FMC. I hate how the MMC traitor but it does make sense and our FMC. She’s just a sweet girl and she goes through survival mode. I am looking forward to the second book in the series and I know it’s gonna be just as good as this one maybe we might get a happily ever ending in that one and maybe our unhinged psycho will be less than unhinged for her
I will not be rating this book. I inhaled it in one sitting but I don’t think I’m okay. I was hooked in by 60 pages. I felt a connection to the characters straight away but that slowly changed & then I felt wrong.
PLEASE read those trigger warnings!!! This is NOT a dark romance. This is so fucked but also so heart aching. 😭😭😭 I dunno how to feel. The ending ruined it for me so I don’t think I’ll read the next one, (I knew it wasn’t a HAE) - just the content of what happened, meh… but this was for sure a bingeable read but I would not encourage people to read it.
I am so grateful to have been gifted an early copy of this book.
OMG! Idk where to start. This was the most unhinged book I have read ever read but was worth every second! Hazel and Dominic’s story was so beautiful and painful to read. Their love for each other was so strong even with everything they faced. This does not have an HEA and is book 1 in the duet so be ready for this ending. It is so worth the read. I can’t wait for book 2!
The Boy I Loved is a dangerous and unhinged story. This is truly a pitch black dark romance and isn't for the faint of heart. I insist that you read the trigger warnings prior to reading. That being said, Annika takes you down a story full of twists and turns. There is plenty of character building as two of the characters are childhood friends with a storyline that follows them down a story which will cause you to have all the feels! Absolutely can't wait for the next!