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Leave Your Mess at Home: A Novel
Not yet published
Expected 14 Apr 26“Tolani Akinola is a gifted, powerful new voice in American fiction.”—Rachel Khong, New York Times bestselling author of Real Americans
"A warm, smart, hilarious, delicious, riveting" (Curtis Sittenfeld) debut about the uncomfortable, unbreakable ties of family as four adult siblings come home to confront the state of their own lives and each other
The Longe siblings are really botching their parents' American Dream.
Sola Longe, eldest daughter, estranged from the family, is secretly back home in Chicago for the first time in a decade. She’s a newly single and recently disgraced influencer trying to quietly put her life back together again. The other three Longe siblings aren't doing much better.
Anjola is in love with her best friend, who just got engaged to someone else; Karen, a college junior and the baby of the family, is grappling with her sexuality and self-image; and Ola, the golden child with a baby of his own on the way, is questioning his marriage and how to raise a Black son in America.
Sola’s unexpected return sets them on a crash course towards each other, and when the four siblings find themselves together again at their Nigerian immigrant parents' Thanksgiving table, a decade’s worth of secrets and a lifetime of resentments explode to the fore.
In the wreckage of their fateful reunion, each Longe is forced to reckon with the past, take stock of what really matters, and find a way back to each other. Big-hearted, hilarious, and poignant, Leave Your Mess At Home is an insightful debut about forgiveness, unconditional love, and becoming who you want to be, asking the what do we owe to our families, and what do we owe to ourselves?
"A warm, smart, hilarious, delicious, riveting" (Curtis Sittenfeld) debut about the uncomfortable, unbreakable ties of family as four adult siblings come home to confront the state of their own lives and each other
The Longe siblings are really botching their parents' American Dream.
Sola Longe, eldest daughter, estranged from the family, is secretly back home in Chicago for the first time in a decade. She’s a newly single and recently disgraced influencer trying to quietly put her life back together again. The other three Longe siblings aren't doing much better.
Anjola is in love with her best friend, who just got engaged to someone else; Karen, a college junior and the baby of the family, is grappling with her sexuality and self-image; and Ola, the golden child with a baby of his own on the way, is questioning his marriage and how to raise a Black son in America.
Sola’s unexpected return sets them on a crash course towards each other, and when the four siblings find themselves together again at their Nigerian immigrant parents' Thanksgiving table, a decade’s worth of secrets and a lifetime of resentments explode to the fore.
In the wreckage of their fateful reunion, each Longe is forced to reckon with the past, take stock of what really matters, and find a way back to each other. Big-hearted, hilarious, and poignant, Leave Your Mess At Home is an insightful debut about forgiveness, unconditional love, and becoming who you want to be, asking the what do we owe to our families, and what do we owe to ourselves?
377 pages, Kindle Edition
Expected publication April 14, 2026
9894 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 81 reviews
September 24, 2025
4.5 ☆
This was simply beautiful. Heartbreaking, thought-provoking, and oh so real.
First, I liked the writing. This is written in third person limited from the prospective of each sibling (and even the mother getting her own chapter). I feel that this prospective was perfect to tell this story as it allowed me to properly observe the story as if I were in the room or walking alongside the characters.
Each person was messy and imperfect and at times incredibly unlikeable and that just made me enjoy their journey's that much more. They weren't created to be liked, but you couldn't help but love and feel for them because of how realistic they were. While I couldn't relate to the characters' main struggles, I found bits in each that truly spoke to me. I couldn't help but to root for them.
I'd say the ending was bittersweet. They spent a lot of time angry, confused, and insecure and yes, there was some goodness at the end, but I saw it as the beginning of their journeys. They still have a ways to go of accepting themselves, healing relationships, etc. and I like that thought more than everything being okay at the end. Healing is a long journey and I think the author did a great job of showing that.
There were even funny moments! It was nice to laugh away some of my tears.
Utterly unputdownable and amazing for a debut. Everyone should definitely give it a read.
** There's not a TWs page but be mindful that there are mentions of child molestation, chastisement, and abuse. They're not incredibly detailed and the mentions are brief, but they are there.
Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for access to this ARC in exchange for a review!
⤷ Fave quotes:
• 'Knowing what she wants out of life is a hard thing. If she had to describe what she's done so far to, say, a blank-faced God on Judgement Day, she thinks she would say it's mostly been a mixture of what she's been told to do and what seems right. Want is something else entirely.'
• 'She realizes that she keeps trying to bargain herself into the life designed for her and then making small compromises to inch outside of it.'
• 'Learning this late that love takes kindling and stoking work, diligent effort, that it isn't just handed to you? The same way she's had to learn, this late, that she even deserves love at all?
This was simply beautiful. Heartbreaking, thought-provoking, and oh so real.
First, I liked the writing. This is written in third person limited from the prospective of each sibling (and even the mother getting her own chapter). I feel that this prospective was perfect to tell this story as it allowed me to properly observe the story as if I were in the room or walking alongside the characters.
Each person was messy and imperfect and at times incredibly unlikeable and that just made me enjoy their journey's that much more. They weren't created to be liked, but you couldn't help but love and feel for them because of how realistic they were. While I couldn't relate to the characters' main struggles, I found bits in each that truly spoke to me. I couldn't help but to root for them.
I'd say the ending was bittersweet. They spent a lot of time angry, confused, and insecure and yes, there was some goodness at the end, but I saw it as the beginning of their journeys. They still have a ways to go of accepting themselves, healing relationships, etc. and I like that thought more than everything being okay at the end. Healing is a long journey and I think the author did a great job of showing that.
There were even funny moments! It was nice to laugh away some of my tears.
Utterly unputdownable and amazing for a debut. Everyone should definitely give it a read.
** There's not a TWs page but be mindful that there are mentions of child molestation, chastisement, and abuse. They're not incredibly detailed and the mentions are brief, but they are there.
Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for access to this ARC in exchange for a review!
⤷ Fave quotes:
• 'Knowing what she wants out of life is a hard thing. If she had to describe what she's done so far to, say, a blank-faced God on Judgement Day, she thinks she would say it's mostly been a mixture of what she's been told to do and what seems right. Want is something else entirely.'
• 'She realizes that she keeps trying to bargain herself into the life designed for her and then making small compromises to inch outside of it.'
• 'Learning this late that love takes kindling and stoking work, diligent effort, that it isn't just handed to you? The same way she's had to learn, this late, that she even deserves love at all?
September 3, 2025
Such an impressive debut novel. It's so good that it really is hard to believe that this multi perspective book from four Nigerian American siblings is this author's first published work. This contained multitudes about a family who is at odds with each when the prodigal daughter returns home for Thanksgiving. There are so many secrets and truths withheld, but what was truly touching, is when each learned the difference between perceived love and actual love. The ending is exceptionally strong and I really loved how each of the siblings grew into and within themselves.
I received an arc from the publisher but all opinions are my own.
I received an arc from the publisher but all opinions are my own.
March 27, 2026
Review of advanced reader copy received from NetGalley
Leave Your Mess At Home by Tolani Akinola is a dynamic read that explores the adult lives of four siblings raised by Nigerian immigrant parents.
While we all have our own family experiences, many readers will feel seen by how Akinola masterfully captures the different layers of belonging, love, individualism, jealousy, hate, and fear that unfold throughout family life. Throughout this book, each sibling is forced to confront their past while also trying to understand who they want to be in the future.
What I loved about this book is how it doesn’t shy away from some of the hard stuff, like tense mother-daughter relationships, identity crises about who you are rather than who your family wants you to be, and confronting racial bias. I found myself emotionally invested in Sola’s story. Not because I had the same experiences, but because I know so many older daughters have to carry so much of what they don’t ask for.
Overall, this is an engaging read I’d recommend to solo readers and book clubs, as there are many themes to explore that could keep you talking for hours!
Thank you NetGalley for an advanced reader copy of this book.
Leave Your Mess At Home by Tolani Akinola is a dynamic read that explores the adult lives of four siblings raised by Nigerian immigrant parents.
While we all have our own family experiences, many readers will feel seen by how Akinola masterfully captures the different layers of belonging, love, individualism, jealousy, hate, and fear that unfold throughout family life. Throughout this book, each sibling is forced to confront their past while also trying to understand who they want to be in the future.
What I loved about this book is how it doesn’t shy away from some of the hard stuff, like tense mother-daughter relationships, identity crises about who you are rather than who your family wants you to be, and confronting racial bias. I found myself emotionally invested in Sola’s story. Not because I had the same experiences, but because I know so many older daughters have to carry so much of what they don’t ask for.
Overall, this is an engaging read I’d recommend to solo readers and book clubs, as there are many themes to explore that could keep you talking for hours!
Thank you NetGalley for an advanced reader copy of this book.
March 19, 2026
Wow!!!!!!Leave Your Mess at Home by Tolani Akinola is a compelling and emotionally rich debut that explores the complexities of family, identity, and personal growth. Centered around four Nigerian-American siblings, the novel brings readers into a tense yet heartfelt Thanksgiving reunion where long-buried secrets and unresolved tensions come to the surface. Each character is well-developed and relatable, navigating their own struggles with love, expectations, and self-discovery. Akinola does a beautiful job balancing humor with heavier themes, making the story feel authentic and engaging without becoming overwhelming. This is a thoughtful, character-driven novel that highlights the messy but meaningful nature of family relationships.
March 17, 2026
Thank you Viking and Pamela Dorman books for the ARC of this book. This book surprised me in so many ways…it was extremely raw in its portrayal of just how ugly, fragile, beautiful and MESSY family/families can be. The writing was extremely captivating, and the plot was THICKKK! I tore this book up in two days, simultaneously wanting to know what was happening next and trying to elongate the story.
I love seeing the character development of each of the four main characters. The book is both heartbreaking, inspiring, and dare I say fun?
Congrats to the author on their debut novel. If this is how she’s starting a book one I’m really excited for her future work!!
Lastly this would be a PERFECTTTTTT book club read because there’s just so many different elements to dig in…
I love seeing the character development of each of the four main characters. The book is both heartbreaking, inspiring, and dare I say fun?
Congrats to the author on their debut novel. If this is how she’s starting a book one I’m really excited for her future work!!
Lastly this would be a PERFECTTTTTT book club read because there’s just so many different elements to dig in…
September 8, 2025
Thank you to #NetGalley, #PamelaDormanBooks, and #VikingPenguin for the opportunity to read and review "Leave Your Mess at Home" - the amazing debut novel by #TolaniAkinola. This book is not scheduled for publication until April 14, 2026, but I've already shared the title with former medical students and reader friends as one "you do NOT want to miss." I loved this!!
The novel has so much heart! It centers on the Longe family in Chicago - siblings Anjola, Sola, Ola, and Karen - along with their Nigerian-American parents (and friends/romantic partners playing wonderful supporting roles along the way). Inherent to the plot are all the complications of parental and cultural expectations both thrust upon and perceived by the children (especially by the matriarch of the family). The writing is true to these themes and feels "lived in" - nothing is held back emotionally and the characters are fully messy and authentic in the most human and gorgeous ways.
The characters are each multidimensional, duplicitous, vulnerable, insecure, and ever-evolving (some more quickly than others) and all highly lovable by the conclusion. of the book. Each character's individual plot line -- Anjola (and her complicated relationship with best friend Neil), Karen (questioning her passions - in education and romance), Ola (married to Marisol and expecting a child while longing for a past relationship among other things) and the prodigal daughter Sola (who holds deep and painful secrets, long-term estrangement from her family, and has had a public breakup as an influencer) all have to greater and lesser degrees lived a life of facades. This is a common human theme as we grow older and try to "figure out" who we are but having a mother driven by appearances and expectations and a father who is accommodating and defers to the mother, makes it that much more difficult to find one's way.
Family secrets, regrets of actions not taken, status, culture, roots, pride, and ESPECIALLY shame are all major themes, beautifully depicted and emotionally delivered. How lives are changed by choices made from fear, shame, and anger and the ever-rippling consequences of resentment and pride take on lives of their own.
Also important is how circumstances can outwardly appear to be the "end of one's world" but morph slowly into the beginning of a more authentic and wildly improved new life. That walking through fear and connecting with others - especially those who know you best - FAMILY - can bring about the seemingly impossible. This novel is a triumph and I cannot wait to read more by Tolani!!! BRAVA!
The novel has so much heart! It centers on the Longe family in Chicago - siblings Anjola, Sola, Ola, and Karen - along with their Nigerian-American parents (and friends/romantic partners playing wonderful supporting roles along the way). Inherent to the plot are all the complications of parental and cultural expectations both thrust upon and perceived by the children (especially by the matriarch of the family). The writing is true to these themes and feels "lived in" - nothing is held back emotionally and the characters are fully messy and authentic in the most human and gorgeous ways.
The characters are each multidimensional, duplicitous, vulnerable, insecure, and ever-evolving (some more quickly than others) and all highly lovable by the conclusion. of the book. Each character's individual plot line -- Anjola (and her complicated relationship with best friend Neil), Karen (questioning her passions - in education and romance), Ola (married to Marisol and expecting a child while longing for a past relationship among other things) and the prodigal daughter Sola (who holds deep and painful secrets, long-term estrangement from her family, and has had a public breakup as an influencer) all have to greater and lesser degrees lived a life of facades. This is a common human theme as we grow older and try to "figure out" who we are but having a mother driven by appearances and expectations and a father who is accommodating and defers to the mother, makes it that much more difficult to find one's way.
Family secrets, regrets of actions not taken, status, culture, roots, pride, and ESPECIALLY shame are all major themes, beautifully depicted and emotionally delivered. How lives are changed by choices made from fear, shame, and anger and the ever-rippling consequences of resentment and pride take on lives of their own.
Also important is how circumstances can outwardly appear to be the "end of one's world" but morph slowly into the beginning of a more authentic and wildly improved new life. That walking through fear and connecting with others - especially those who know you best - FAMILY - can bring about the seemingly impossible. This novel is a triumph and I cannot wait to read more by Tolani!!! BRAVA!
April 3, 2026
An emotionally layered story of 4 siblings shaped by a dysfunctional family and hardship. As adults, they carry trauma and the weight of estrangement, social scandal, unrequited love, marital struggles, abuse, and identity.
Ate it up when Thanksgiving dinner becomes a roasting sesh, such a pivotal moment! The characters are so nicely developed that I really got into each of their struggles and stories.
📌LGBTQ Rep
📌Vitiligo Rep
📌Sibling Rivalries
📌Grief
📌Emotional and physical abuse
📌Bullying & Microagressions
📌Sexual assault mentioned
📌Identity insecurities
Ate it up when Thanksgiving dinner becomes a roasting sesh, such a pivotal moment! The characters are so nicely developed that I really got into each of their struggles and stories.
📌LGBTQ Rep
📌Vitiligo Rep
📌Sibling Rivalries
📌Grief
📌Emotional and physical abuse
📌Bullying & Microagressions
📌Sexual assault mentioned
📌Identity insecurities
April 2, 2026
I don’t believe in perfect books but this one is making me reevaluate that. A perfect story of family, sibling relationships, culture, immigrant families, the courage to be yourself, and more.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for this arc in exchange for honest opinion.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for this arc in exchange for honest opinion.
August 20, 2025
Im struggling with this review. There are parts of this that are tender and beautiful and yet, I failed to like most of the characters. In a way, this is a coming of age tale so I suppose their journey includes them turning into people I could like by the end of the saga. However, being with them before they got there just wasn't that enjoyable.
I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Please note that I received this book via NetGalley. This did not affect my rating or review.
Trigger warning: Child sexual assault shown/depicted in the book and then later discussed.
This was a very hard book to read in places, but ultimately a very good one to read. It focuses on a Nigerian family living in America and there are of course some things/language I didn't understand, but it's easy to get the context of things based on other words or descriptions. That is not why I gave it four stars though. The only reason why I gave this four stars is that I thought that Akinola gave the parents outs with regards to the plot to not actually even discuss the things that went on with the oldest Longe sister, Sola. There is a bit of acknowledgement about what went on with her with her sister Anjola, but I honestly didn't think it was enough. Also, Karen's whole story-line felt very unfinished to me. After a while she was treated like filler and you again don't have things wrapped up because she just decides to not tell her mother anything. Other than that, I thought that the story focusing on the four siblings: Sola, Anjola, Ola, and Karen was very good and you get character development throughout that you feel like you know all of them and feel at turns frustrated for them and at them. I just wish for the final thread the needle for two of the four characters.
Leave Your Mess at Home follows the Longe siblings. Sola, is newly arrived back in Chicago after dealing with the fallout of her longtime partner cheating on her and announcing to social media he has moved on. She doesn't have any money and no degree. She's estranged from her entire family for a lot of reasons and just doesn't want to do anything. She ends up agreeing to see her younger sister Anjola for a hot minute, but it's her sister Karen that grabs at her and makes he want to do more for her sister who is struggling with her identity. The book goes back and forth between October 20 and December 30 and follows all four siblings.
Sola's return is the catalyst for everyone to start looking at themselves, but her story was the least interesting to me at the onset. I thought she was being a jerk, until Akinola slowly unspools what went on to have Sola become estranged from her family and why she ran away to California to be an influencer. She really does see people for who they are, and thought anytime she was around her siblings and not allowing them to play in her or their own faces was so good. I don't want to give too much away, but I thought that everyone's individual plots work great, but I do now say while writing this review, Ola really didn't seem to mesh with the sisters plotlines at all. I don't know if that was intentional. But in the end, he felt very outside their dynamic. I thought the flow of the book was really good. I didn't get tripped up at all between following anyone since every character's voice was so distinct. I didn't need to look too hard to figure out if it was Sola, Anjola, Ola, or Karen speaking.
The setting of Chicago in this one though feels very far apart I think from Black Americans Chicago. There's an acknowledgement there's a divide between the African community versus Black community. There's a plot point that really sets that up and I can't say I was in love with that at all. I know that for some Africans there's this whole you are not allowed to call yourself African Americans thing and God knows the ADOS people are just a hot freaking mess that I run away from anytime I meet any of them in the wild. It is very frustrating to me since hey, I am light skinned and get confused as another race all the time, but that stopped once I braided my hair during the summer. But there are the skin color wars Black people have going on and whose really Black and it's 2026 and I want everyone to just knock it off frankly. White America sees us all as Black. And with the mess that Trump is doing to the Somali community in Minnesota, racism is racism is racism. Black people (African or not) don't have to get into that mess with them. Okay, climbs off soap box.
The ending didn't really feel earned for two out of the four characters. I think Anjola had the most realistic plot/ending. Next up was Sola. Ola, was a whole mess and needed smacked. And Karen, just felt stuck on.
Trigger warning: Child sexual assault shown/depicted in the book and then later discussed.
This was a very hard book to read in places, but ultimately a very good one to read. It focuses on a Nigerian family living in America and there are of course some things/language I didn't understand, but it's easy to get the context of things based on other words or descriptions. That is not why I gave it four stars though. The only reason why I gave this four stars is that I thought that Akinola gave the parents outs with regards to the plot to not actually even discuss the things that went on with the oldest Longe sister, Sola. There is a bit of acknowledgement about what went on with her with her sister Anjola, but I honestly didn't think it was enough. Also, Karen's whole story-line felt very unfinished to me. After a while she was treated like filler and you again don't have things wrapped up because she just decides to not tell her mother anything. Other than that, I thought that the story focusing on the four siblings: Sola, Anjola, Ola, and Karen was very good and you get character development throughout that you feel like you know all of them and feel at turns frustrated for them and at them. I just wish for the final thread the needle for two of the four characters.
Leave Your Mess at Home follows the Longe siblings. Sola, is newly arrived back in Chicago after dealing with the fallout of her longtime partner cheating on her and announcing to social media he has moved on. She doesn't have any money and no degree. She's estranged from her entire family for a lot of reasons and just doesn't want to do anything. She ends up agreeing to see her younger sister Anjola for a hot minute, but it's her sister Karen that grabs at her and makes he want to do more for her sister who is struggling with her identity. The book goes back and forth between October 20 and December 30 and follows all four siblings.
Sola's return is the catalyst for everyone to start looking at themselves, but her story was the least interesting to me at the onset. I thought she was being a jerk, until Akinola slowly unspools what went on to have Sola become estranged from her family and why she ran away to California to be an influencer. She really does see people for who they are, and thought anytime she was around her siblings and not allowing them to play in her or their own faces was so good. I don't want to give too much away, but I thought that everyone's individual plots work great, but I do now say while writing this review, Ola really didn't seem to mesh with the sisters plotlines at all. I don't know if that was intentional. But in the end, he felt very outside their dynamic. I thought the flow of the book was really good. I didn't get tripped up at all between following anyone since every character's voice was so distinct. I didn't need to look too hard to figure out if it was Sola, Anjola, Ola, or Karen speaking.
The setting of Chicago in this one though feels very far apart I think from Black Americans Chicago. There's an acknowledgement there's a divide between the African community versus Black community. There's a plot point that really sets that up and I can't say I was in love with that at all. I know that for some Africans there's this whole you are not allowed to call yourself African Americans thing and God knows the ADOS people are just a hot freaking mess that I run away from anytime I meet any of them in the wild. It is very frustrating to me since hey, I am light skinned and get confused as another race all the time, but that stopped once I braided my hair during the summer. But there are the skin color wars Black people have going on and whose really Black and it's 2026 and I want everyone to just knock it off frankly. White America sees us all as Black. And with the mess that Trump is doing to the Somali community in Minnesota, racism is racism is racism. Black people (African or not) don't have to get into that mess with them. Okay, climbs off soap box.
The ending didn't really feel earned for two out of the four characters. I think Anjola had the most realistic plot/ending. Next up was Sola. Ola, was a whole mess and needed smacked. And Karen, just felt stuck on.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Wow! Leave Your Mess at Home is a great, but intense exploration of the reverberating effects of toxic family dynamics.
Almost all of the relationship strain and personal insecurities of siblings Ola, Sola, Anjola, and Karen can be traced back to their mother Latifat and the narrative she creates for her family as the children are growing up, some of which may be a result of Yoruba culture from her home country of Nigeria, but it provides a tremendous amount of conflict with her children raised in America. Her husband loves her so deeply that he is unable to see how her behavior impacts their children, creating even more of a sense of a lack of support.
Ola, the oldest and the single son of the family, is treated as his mother’s favorite, capable of no wrong because he is a boy. This leads to his often condescending treatment of his younger sisters, and his thoughts of straying from his pregnant wife when their views diverge ahead of the arrival of their son.
Sola, as the eldest daughter, pays the price for daring to be independent and not a dutiful, pious daughter. Latifat kicks her out at eighteen and lets the rest of the family think Sola abandoned them. This leaves Sola prickly and self defensive, seeking validation in social media because she has been cast off by her family.
Anjola is the exact opposite of her older sister, being so dutiful that she’s afraid to defend her sister, won’t pursue love with the boy she loves, and follows a career path laid out by her mother’s expectations, all of which leaves her feeling miserable, alone and unhappy.
Karen, the youngest, is headed down the same path as Anjola, trying not to make waves and keep everyone happy, even if it means not being true to herself.
A confluence of events, the arrival of Ola’s child, Sola breaking up with her boyfriend and returning to Chicago, the engagement of Anjola’s childhood friend, and an enlightening semester of school for Karen puts the quartet of siblings on a collision course that will come to a head with a final event that has the potential to either shatter the family irrevocably or give them an opportunity at reconciliation.
Akinola does a bang up job of developing the characters of the siblings and letting the reader see them from their own eyes and the eyes of each other. The result of this is characters that are pretty detestable in their own ways to start the book, that have an opportunity for self realization and growth throughout the course of the book that makes them much more likable by the end. It also gives the reader a great opportunity to see how circumstances beyond their control made them who they are, and only by taking ownership over their own narrative and not just accepting what their mother is telling they should be can they achieve happiness in their own life and better relationships with each other.
I’m not gonna lie to you; while I had a new respect for each sibling by the end of the book, my views on Latifat remained unchanged. I don’t know if this is a difference in cultural expectations or an unwillingness by her to adapt to have a good relationships with her children. Part of me thinks it is the latter, from personal experience that an elder thinks any of their behavior is excusable and appropriate because they have earned it.
This is a great story about family dynamics, personal growth, and the often difficult decision that has to be made between holding onto relationships that are meaningful and when to let them go.
A complimentary copy of this book was provided by the publisher. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
Almost all of the relationship strain and personal insecurities of siblings Ola, Sola, Anjola, and Karen can be traced back to their mother Latifat and the narrative she creates for her family as the children are growing up, some of which may be a result of Yoruba culture from her home country of Nigeria, but it provides a tremendous amount of conflict with her children raised in America. Her husband loves her so deeply that he is unable to see how her behavior impacts their children, creating even more of a sense of a lack of support.
Ola, the oldest and the single son of the family, is treated as his mother’s favorite, capable of no wrong because he is a boy. This leads to his often condescending treatment of his younger sisters, and his thoughts of straying from his pregnant wife when their views diverge ahead of the arrival of their son.
Sola, as the eldest daughter, pays the price for daring to be independent and not a dutiful, pious daughter. Latifat kicks her out at eighteen and lets the rest of the family think Sola abandoned them. This leaves Sola prickly and self defensive, seeking validation in social media because she has been cast off by her family.
Anjola is the exact opposite of her older sister, being so dutiful that she’s afraid to defend her sister, won’t pursue love with the boy she loves, and follows a career path laid out by her mother’s expectations, all of which leaves her feeling miserable, alone and unhappy.
Karen, the youngest, is headed down the same path as Anjola, trying not to make waves and keep everyone happy, even if it means not being true to herself.
A confluence of events, the arrival of Ola’s child, Sola breaking up with her boyfriend and returning to Chicago, the engagement of Anjola’s childhood friend, and an enlightening semester of school for Karen puts the quartet of siblings on a collision course that will come to a head with a final event that has the potential to either shatter the family irrevocably or give them an opportunity at reconciliation.
Akinola does a bang up job of developing the characters of the siblings and letting the reader see them from their own eyes and the eyes of each other. The result of this is characters that are pretty detestable in their own ways to start the book, that have an opportunity for self realization and growth throughout the course of the book that makes them much more likable by the end. It also gives the reader a great opportunity to see how circumstances beyond their control made them who they are, and only by taking ownership over their own narrative and not just accepting what their mother is telling they should be can they achieve happiness in their own life and better relationships with each other.
I’m not gonna lie to you; while I had a new respect for each sibling by the end of the book, my views on Latifat remained unchanged. I don’t know if this is a difference in cultural expectations or an unwillingness by her to adapt to have a good relationships with her children. Part of me thinks it is the latter, from personal experience that an elder thinks any of their behavior is excusable and appropriate because they have earned it.
This is a great story about family dynamics, personal growth, and the often difficult decision that has to be made between holding onto relationships that are meaningful and when to let them go.
A complimentary copy of this book was provided by the publisher. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
"Leave Your Mess at Home" is Tolani Akinola's debut novel - and I'm equally as impressed that this is her first work as I am hopeful that she will continue to write many more. Her first work centers on the Longes, a Nigerian-American family living in Chicago where the four adult siblings that are all drastically different from each other.
Anjola has grown up to be the model obedient daughter, doing her residency during medical school while secretly harboring a long-standing crush on her soon-to-be-wed childhood friend Neil. Ola, the only son in the family, has a prestigious career at a hedge fund and is expecting his first child with his wife Marisol, but finds he's growing increasingly discontent with his marriage and secretly reaches out to a former ex once he stumbles across her photography in the paper. Youngest child Karen has grown up in the shadow of her siblings, struggling her vitiligo and her own identity. The steadiness of their lives is upended when their estranged sister Sola returns back to Chicago - fresh after a separation from her husband and the dissolution of her career as an influencer.
The novel rotates between each of these sibling's perspectives, slowly peeling back the reality of each of their lives that they try to hide from the others while also treading into the past - the histories that each of them try to forget or tell themselves they've moved on from. The compilation of years and complicated emotions implode after an contentious Thanksgiving dinner, with devastating consequences none of them foresee. What follows is a slow yet painful journey back to each other - one that's bittersweet but well-deserved.
I loved how character-driven this novel was, and just how carefully and lovingly each of the Longe siblings was crafted. Each of them is flawed, complicated, and emotional - but are also characters I came to deeply empathize with once their backstories were revealed. Akinola brings in heavy and complex themes that add so much dimension to these protagonists, from cultural and religious norms, generational trauma, sexual and personal identity, and the different forms and expressions love can have. Each of the siblings go on their own personal journey and growth, and while the ending is bittersweet, it is also triumphant. I loved the writing style as well, with complex prose and poetic lines that were both poignant and insightful.
Very much a recommended read when "Leave Your Mess at Home" is published in April 2026!
Anjola has grown up to be the model obedient daughter, doing her residency during medical school while secretly harboring a long-standing crush on her soon-to-be-wed childhood friend Neil. Ola, the only son in the family, has a prestigious career at a hedge fund and is expecting his first child with his wife Marisol, but finds he's growing increasingly discontent with his marriage and secretly reaches out to a former ex once he stumbles across her photography in the paper. Youngest child Karen has grown up in the shadow of her siblings, struggling her vitiligo and her own identity. The steadiness of their lives is upended when their estranged sister Sola returns back to Chicago - fresh after a separation from her husband and the dissolution of her career as an influencer.
The novel rotates between each of these sibling's perspectives, slowly peeling back the reality of each of their lives that they try to hide from the others while also treading into the past - the histories that each of them try to forget or tell themselves they've moved on from. The compilation of years and complicated emotions implode after an contentious Thanksgiving dinner, with devastating consequences none of them foresee. What follows is a slow yet painful journey back to each other - one that's bittersweet but well-deserved.
I loved how character-driven this novel was, and just how carefully and lovingly each of the Longe siblings was crafted. Each of them is flawed, complicated, and emotional - but are also characters I came to deeply empathize with once their backstories were revealed. Akinola brings in heavy and complex themes that add so much dimension to these protagonists, from cultural and religious norms, generational trauma, sexual and personal identity, and the different forms and expressions love can have. Each of the siblings go on their own personal journey and growth, and while the ending is bittersweet, it is also triumphant. I loved the writing style as well, with complex prose and poetic lines that were both poignant and insightful.
Very much a recommended read when "Leave Your Mess at Home" is published in April 2026!
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Leave Your Mess at Home is a compelling but often frustrating debut novel that leans heavily into dysfunction, both stylistically and thematically. The writing is intentionally crass at times, packed with slang and snippets of foreign language that are never fully explained. While this adds authenticity, it can also feel distracting.
The family at the center of the story is deeply flawed. The mother is intensely class-conscious and judgmental, more concerned with how her community perceives her family than with genuinely understanding or supporting her children. Ironically, while the father’s storyline highlights the prejudice he faces as a Black man, the mother herself exhibits her own forms of racial/class bias toward others, complicating any easy moral footing.
The father, in contrast, is less overtly judgmental but largely absent—consumed by work and overly trusting of his wife. His detachment leaves him unaware of the emotional damage unfolding within his own home. Meanwhile, the siblings are, for the most part, difficult to like. They are often unkind to one another and disturbingly passive when it comes to the eldest daughter's mistreatment and eventual absence, which underscores just how normalized dysfunction has become in their household.
It takes a significant crisis to push the family toward any kind of reflection or change. Even then, growth is uneven—some characters begin to challenge their mother’s expectations and pursue their own paths, while others remain stuck in old patterns. Not everyone emerges as likable, which feels intentional but left this reader unsettled.
What lingers most is the ambiguity of the author’s message. Is this a story about the messiness of family life in general, or something more specific about the immigrant experience? Is it a critique of parental expectations that stifle individuality, or a broader commentary on the courage it takes to want something different from what you were raised to value? The novel raises these questions effectively, even though the answers were not clear to me.
Ultimately, it’s a thought-provoking read that is honest and complex, even when the journey is bumpy.
I received an advance copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. For more reading recommendations, visit Book Junkie Reviews at www.abookjunkiereviews.wordpress.com
The family at the center of the story is deeply flawed. The mother is intensely class-conscious and judgmental, more concerned with how her community perceives her family than with genuinely understanding or supporting her children. Ironically, while the father’s storyline highlights the prejudice he faces as a Black man, the mother herself exhibits her own forms of racial/class bias toward others, complicating any easy moral footing.
The father, in contrast, is less overtly judgmental but largely absent—consumed by work and overly trusting of his wife. His detachment leaves him unaware of the emotional damage unfolding within his own home. Meanwhile, the siblings are, for the most part, difficult to like. They are often unkind to one another and disturbingly passive when it comes to the eldest daughter's mistreatment and eventual absence, which underscores just how normalized dysfunction has become in their household.
It takes a significant crisis to push the family toward any kind of reflection or change. Even then, growth is uneven—some characters begin to challenge their mother’s expectations and pursue their own paths, while others remain stuck in old patterns. Not everyone emerges as likable, which feels intentional but left this reader unsettled.
What lingers most is the ambiguity of the author’s message. Is this a story about the messiness of family life in general, or something more specific about the immigrant experience? Is it a critique of parental expectations that stifle individuality, or a broader commentary on the courage it takes to want something different from what you were raised to value? The novel raises these questions effectively, even though the answers were not clear to me.
Ultimately, it’s a thought-provoking read that is honest and complex, even when the journey is bumpy.
I received an advance copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. For more reading recommendations, visit Book Junkie Reviews at www.abookjunkiereviews.wordpress.com
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
4 stars
This is a strong debut that made me an instant fant of Akinola. Few things draw me in like sibling relationships, and this one has that andd much more!
Sola, Karen, Anjola, and Ola were born to native Nigerian parents and grew up in the Chicago area. Having spent some time there almost exactly (to the day!) one year ago, I enjoyed the small location-specific details throughout. What transcends time and place, though, is of course the familial relationships, which are complicated, not just now, but for a long, LONG time. Akinola establishes these characters as individuals and focuses on how their relationships with each other shape them. I love the balance of these joint focal points. I'd find myself getting really frustrated with a character because of thoughts and behaviors they were expressing in the current day and then really connecting with them when they worked through a relationship with a sibling or memories of a past event. Akinola has a knack for making these characters feel real and complex, and that's a serious feat, especially in an efficient package.
There are some tough topics in this book including sexual abuse of a child. This content is central to understanding some of the characters and their motivations, not extraneous or included for shock value (a real frustration of mine among other authors who try and IMO wildly fail at tackling this material). For me, Akinola handles this content responsibly and in a way that advances characterization and plot.
I enjoyed this very much and look forward to more from this author. I recommend it for folks who can handle the aforementioned content and who love some good sibling interactions along with individual character development.
*Special thanks to NetGalley and Viking for this widget, which I received in exchange for an honest review. The opinions expressed here are my own.
This is a strong debut that made me an instant fant of Akinola. Few things draw me in like sibling relationships, and this one has that andd much more!
Sola, Karen, Anjola, and Ola were born to native Nigerian parents and grew up in the Chicago area. Having spent some time there almost exactly (to the day!) one year ago, I enjoyed the small location-specific details throughout. What transcends time and place, though, is of course the familial relationships, which are complicated, not just now, but for a long, LONG time. Akinola establishes these characters as individuals and focuses on how their relationships with each other shape them. I love the balance of these joint focal points. I'd find myself getting really frustrated with a character because of thoughts and behaviors they were expressing in the current day and then really connecting with them when they worked through a relationship with a sibling or memories of a past event. Akinola has a knack for making these characters feel real and complex, and that's a serious feat, especially in an efficient package.
There are some tough topics in this book including sexual abuse of a child. This content is central to understanding some of the characters and their motivations, not extraneous or included for shock value (a real frustration of mine among other authors who try and IMO wildly fail at tackling this material). For me, Akinola handles this content responsibly and in a way that advances characterization and plot.
I enjoyed this very much and look forward to more from this author. I recommend it for folks who can handle the aforementioned content and who love some good sibling interactions along with individual character development.
*Special thanks to NetGalley and Viking for this widget, which I received in exchange for an honest review. The opinions expressed here are my own.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
This was a beautiful debut about messy, dysfunctional, sometimes loving, controlling, and questioning family relationships.
The novel focuses on the Longe family of six, the parents and their four grown children, who relocated from Nigeria to Chicago to raise their family and secure "a better life."
Mom is in the medical profession and wants that for all of her children. She is very regimented, demanding, and sometimes almost unfeeling. On the flip side, Dad, who is a taxi driver in the city, is a very loving and providing father. Ola, the oldest and only male, is about to become a first time father but in a questioning and unhappy marriage. Sola, oldest daughter, has just returned to Chicago after a ten year stint as an influencer in LA. A decade ago, she was disowned and kicked out by her mother. Anjola, middle daughter, is completing her medical residency at a Chicago hospital, only entering the medical field because she was pushed by her mother to do so. She is also very conflicted because she is love with her best friend from high school who just got engaged to his fiancé. Karen, youngest daughter, is enrolled in a nearby university where she is also pursuing a medical degree (rather begrudgingly at her mother's persistence, also). She is also facing the dilemma of questioning her sexuality.
The plot of the novel progresses as Sola re-enters the city and is thus re-introduced to family members one by one after her banishment by her mother.
The narration is very effective as chapters are in alternating characters' POVs. This provides the reader with so many feelings to evaluate. It's a story that is heartbreaking but always engrossing.
Thank you, NetGalley and Pamela Dorman Books, for this ARC in exchange for an honest review. For readers who enjoy family drama/saga, look for this one hitting shelves April 14, 2026.
The novel focuses on the Longe family of six, the parents and their four grown children, who relocated from Nigeria to Chicago to raise their family and secure "a better life."
Mom is in the medical profession and wants that for all of her children. She is very regimented, demanding, and sometimes almost unfeeling. On the flip side, Dad, who is a taxi driver in the city, is a very loving and providing father. Ola, the oldest and only male, is about to become a first time father but in a questioning and unhappy marriage. Sola, oldest daughter, has just returned to Chicago after a ten year stint as an influencer in LA. A decade ago, she was disowned and kicked out by her mother. Anjola, middle daughter, is completing her medical residency at a Chicago hospital, only entering the medical field because she was pushed by her mother to do so. She is also very conflicted because she is love with her best friend from high school who just got engaged to his fiancé. Karen, youngest daughter, is enrolled in a nearby university where she is also pursuing a medical degree (rather begrudgingly at her mother's persistence, also). She is also facing the dilemma of questioning her sexuality.
The plot of the novel progresses as Sola re-enters the city and is thus re-introduced to family members one by one after her banishment by her mother.
The narration is very effective as chapters are in alternating characters' POVs. This provides the reader with so many feelings to evaluate. It's a story that is heartbreaking but always engrossing.
Thank you, NetGalley and Pamela Dorman Books, for this ARC in exchange for an honest review. For readers who enjoy family drama/saga, look for this one hitting shelves April 14, 2026.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
I received this ARC from NetGalley and the publisher Viking Penguin. Thank you both for the advanced copy.
Leave Your Mess at Home is hands down the best book I've read this year. I absolutely loved Tolani Akinola's debut novel, I could not put it down. Having lived in Chicago for 5 years straight out of college, this book felt like coming home. Akinola brings the city and this family to life through references to places many young Black adults frequent and dialogue that captures the authentic rhythm of Chicago.
The story revolves around four siblings (Ola, Sola, Anjola, and Karen) that are essentially estranged from one another due to one sibling being ousted as the black sheep of the family. As a reader you come to find out how remarkable it is that four siblings raised in the same home can recall their childhood so differently. Each point of view shows a different narrative of the same story. I love that each sibling is battling real life themes of trying to be the perfect child of the American Dream for their immigrant parents, and how the pressure to live up to parent's expectations can cause you to neglect your own true calling. After years of being apart, they come together for a holiday that will change them for the rest of their lives, and leave bare all the messy feelings and grievances they have had against one another on the table (literally).
Akinola's way of weaving in the characters POV of the same thing is beautifully done, and gives you a 360 view of how each sibling perceived a major event that shook them to their core, and flipped a narrative that they had of their family upside down. Akinola's dialogue, pacing, and exploration of classism, the Black immigrant experience in America, family obligation, sexuality, religion, and sibling/parent dynamics create an intricate tapestry that reveals how these forces shape individual identity.
I was truly impressed with Akinola's first novel and highly recommend it!
Leave Your Mess at Home is hands down the best book I've read this year. I absolutely loved Tolani Akinola's debut novel, I could not put it down. Having lived in Chicago for 5 years straight out of college, this book felt like coming home. Akinola brings the city and this family to life through references to places many young Black adults frequent and dialogue that captures the authentic rhythm of Chicago.
The story revolves around four siblings (Ola, Sola, Anjola, and Karen) that are essentially estranged from one another due to one sibling being ousted as the black sheep of the family. As a reader you come to find out how remarkable it is that four siblings raised in the same home can recall their childhood so differently. Each point of view shows a different narrative of the same story. I love that each sibling is battling real life themes of trying to be the perfect child of the American Dream for their immigrant parents, and how the pressure to live up to parent's expectations can cause you to neglect your own true calling. After years of being apart, they come together for a holiday that will change them for the rest of their lives, and leave bare all the messy feelings and grievances they have had against one another on the table (literally).
Akinola's way of weaving in the characters POV of the same thing is beautifully done, and gives you a 360 view of how each sibling perceived a major event that shook them to their core, and flipped a narrative that they had of their family upside down. Akinola's dialogue, pacing, and exploration of classism, the Black immigrant experience in America, family obligation, sexuality, religion, and sibling/parent dynamics create an intricate tapestry that reveals how these forces shape individual identity.
I was truly impressed with Akinola's first novel and highly recommend it!
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Many thanks to Pamela Dorman Books and NetGalley for an early copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
"For as long as her memory allows, she sees that she has put everyone before herself as though this were some Christlike way of being. But how has all this suppression of her own desire, permitting herself only half measures toward happiness, profited her? It hasn't made her family more whole, hasn't undone Sola's suffering. It is breaking her own heart. She sees now that it's her martyrdom that Sola doesn't respect. And why would she?"
4.5 stars
I love a family drama and I love an immigrant story, and this debut was a total home run on both counts. We are following the 4 Longe siblings, 2nd generation Nigerian Americans, one of whom has been estranged from the rest of the rest of family for years. When she returns following a messy breakup, she is reunited with her family, resulting in the opening of a Pandora's box of secrets and resentments.
I don't want to put too much here, because this book had way more heft than I was prepared for, and I think it's better to go in somewhat blind. But Akinola does an amazing job of not only examining the roles we are assigned or take on ourselves within families, but also the experience of straddling two cultures, and how incredibly difficulty this is.
These characters are so fully drawn and fully human; they aren't entirely likeable, which gives them their full humanity; they all felt REAL. They are each taking a hard look at themselves, who they really are, and how they've become who they SEEM to be. This book is funny, tragic, and so realistic. I highly recommend this and can't wait to see what this author does next.
(P.S. There is also amazing food writing if you're into that kind of thing, like I am.)
"For as long as her memory allows, she sees that she has put everyone before herself as though this were some Christlike way of being. But how has all this suppression of her own desire, permitting herself only half measures toward happiness, profited her? It hasn't made her family more whole, hasn't undone Sola's suffering. It is breaking her own heart. She sees now that it's her martyrdom that Sola doesn't respect. And why would she?"
4.5 stars
I love a family drama and I love an immigrant story, and this debut was a total home run on both counts. We are following the 4 Longe siblings, 2nd generation Nigerian Americans, one of whom has been estranged from the rest of the rest of family for years. When she returns following a messy breakup, she is reunited with her family, resulting in the opening of a Pandora's box of secrets and resentments.
I don't want to put too much here, because this book had way more heft than I was prepared for, and I think it's better to go in somewhat blind. But Akinola does an amazing job of not only examining the roles we are assigned or take on ourselves within families, but also the experience of straddling two cultures, and how incredibly difficulty this is.
These characters are so fully drawn and fully human; they aren't entirely likeable, which gives them their full humanity; they all felt REAL. They are each taking a hard look at themselves, who they really are, and how they've become who they SEEM to be. This book is funny, tragic, and so realistic. I highly recommend this and can't wait to see what this author does next.
(P.S. There is also amazing food writing if you're into that kind of thing, like I am.)
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
3.5 ⭐️ I’m torn between 3 and 4. The prose was ok, nothing exceptional and the story of a dysfunctional Nigerian-American family is feeling a bit overdone to me. That note has been repeatedly played in the last couple of years. Now, the story itself of four siblings all trying to do life after being raised by a mother who I’ll call abusive adjacent and a father who was a bit clueless about the dynamics between the children and their Mom.
Each child relates differently to Mom, as is the case in most families, and the only son, Ola, is of course Mom’s favorite. Sola, the eldest daughter is Dad’s favorite. Naturally, Mom clashes with Sola more so than she does with the two younger daughters, Anjola and Karen. The split between Mom and Sola, which results in Sola leaving home is the driving force of the novel, and Ms. Akinola keeps the readers on the edge, as well as the siblings, as the truth of this rupture is slowly revealed.
As their individual backstories unfold, which by the way is the most impressive aspect of this debut. In a book that I don’t believe anyone would term “deep”, talently (new word alert, YEP) each character is depth-ly drawn, adding a consistent propulsion that keeps the reader engaged. The reason I have a 3.5 rating is the unnecessary bits that were added to the characters arcs just for drama sake.
It feels as if Tolani Akinola didn’t trust that her characters’ inconstancies were enough to carry the book, so she drops in some personal turmoil to create internal conflict that the person would need to resolve. Back to the story; the pacing was great, the dialogue between characters was real-life feeling and the tensions were well thought out and authentically resolvable. In summary, I would recommend this novel and can clearly see the talent Ms. Akinola possesses. Much thanks to NetGalley and Pamela Dorman books for an advanced DRC.
Each child relates differently to Mom, as is the case in most families, and the only son, Ola, is of course Mom’s favorite. Sola, the eldest daughter is Dad’s favorite. Naturally, Mom clashes with Sola more so than she does with the two younger daughters, Anjola and Karen. The split between Mom and Sola, which results in Sola leaving home is the driving force of the novel, and Ms. Akinola keeps the readers on the edge, as well as the siblings, as the truth of this rupture is slowly revealed.
As their individual backstories unfold, which by the way is the most impressive aspect of this debut. In a book that I don’t believe anyone would term “deep”, talently (new word alert, YEP) each character is depth-ly drawn, adding a consistent propulsion that keeps the reader engaged. The reason I have a 3.5 rating is the unnecessary bits that were added to the characters arcs just for drama sake.
It feels as if Tolani Akinola didn’t trust that her characters’ inconstancies were enough to carry the book, so she drops in some personal turmoil to create internal conflict that the person would need to resolve. Back to the story; the pacing was great, the dialogue between characters was real-life feeling and the tensions were well thought out and authentically resolvable. In summary, I would recommend this novel and can clearly see the talent Ms. Akinola possesses. Much thanks to NetGalley and Pamela Dorman books for an advanced DRC.
October 12, 2025
I want to give a big thank you to Netgalley and Pamela Dorman Books for the advance copy!
TW: Sexual abuse & Domestic Violence
"Leave Your Mess at Home" is one of those short, but unforgettable books. The writing is incredibly moving, and the characters feel so real and complex that you can't help but cheer for them, even when their decisions drive you a little crazy (yes, I'm talking about you, Anjola!). What really stood out to me was how the author captures the struggle of many children of immigrants who find themselves caught between their parents' culture and their life in America. The relationships in this story are also very layered, especially between the siblings as they grow up and deal with how their childhood experiences shape their adult lives. It’s interesting to see how even adult children are still trying to win their parents' approval. The mother-daughter relationship is especially complicated; sometimes it feels more like a competition than a loving bond, which adds to the book’s depth.
One part I wasn’t completely sold on was the tragic event that drives the siblings to confront their issues. It felt a bit too convenient, almost like it rushed them toward a resolution before they could work through their problems in a more natural way. But maybe that was the point? Sometimes a big wake-up call is what we need to truly change, and I can understand how that tragedy might serve that purpose instead of just feeling like an easy way out of the story. Overall, this is a thoughtful and emotionally rich book about discovering who you are and coming to terms with your choices, no matter how old you are.
TW: Sexual abuse & Domestic Violence
"Leave Your Mess at Home" is one of those short, but unforgettable books. The writing is incredibly moving, and the characters feel so real and complex that you can't help but cheer for them, even when their decisions drive you a little crazy (yes, I'm talking about you, Anjola!). What really stood out to me was how the author captures the struggle of many children of immigrants who find themselves caught between their parents' culture and their life in America. The relationships in this story are also very layered, especially between the siblings as they grow up and deal with how their childhood experiences shape their adult lives. It’s interesting to see how even adult children are still trying to win their parents' approval. The mother-daughter relationship is especially complicated; sometimes it feels more like a competition than a loving bond, which adds to the book’s depth.
One part I wasn’t completely sold on was the tragic event that drives the siblings to confront their issues. It felt a bit too convenient, almost like it rushed them toward a resolution before they could work through their problems in a more natural way. But maybe that was the point? Sometimes a big wake-up call is what we need to truly change, and I can understand how that tragedy might serve that purpose instead of just feeling like an easy way out of the story. Overall, this is a thoughtful and emotionally rich book about discovering who you are and coming to terms with your choices, no matter how old you are.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
"Leave Your Mess at Home" by Tolani Akinola is a heartfelt and relatable story that explores the themes of relationships, boundaries, and personal growth. It thoughtfully looks at how bringing emotional struggles into friendships, work, and family interactions can affect our connections and well-being.
The story beautifully highlights characters as they navigate their personal struggles, all while working to maintain meaningful relationships. As the plot unfolds, it gently emphasizes the importance of accountability and self-awareness. The core message is clear: everyone carries baggage, but what's most important is learning how to manage it so it doesn't affect others negatively.
A wonderful strength of this book is how it genuinely portrays everyday conflicts. The characters feel very real, and many readers might see parts of their own lives reflected in the situations shown. The dialogue and interactions help the story flow easily and naturally, making it an engaging read.
The writing style is clear and easy to follow. The steady pace makes the story enjoyable and keeps you interested all the way through. Themes like growth, responsibility, and emotional maturity bring in meaningful depth without feeling too heavy.
While some parts of the story might feel predictable at times, the book still holds value because of its core message and character growth.
Overall, 'Leave Your Mess at Home' is a truly engaging and inspiring book that encourages us to take responsibility for our personal challenges and nurture healthier relationships. It warmly appeals to readers who enjoy stories focused on characters, self-awareness, and personal growth.
The story beautifully highlights characters as they navigate their personal struggles, all while working to maintain meaningful relationships. As the plot unfolds, it gently emphasizes the importance of accountability and self-awareness. The core message is clear: everyone carries baggage, but what's most important is learning how to manage it so it doesn't affect others negatively.
A wonderful strength of this book is how it genuinely portrays everyday conflicts. The characters feel very real, and many readers might see parts of their own lives reflected in the situations shown. The dialogue and interactions help the story flow easily and naturally, making it an engaging read.
The writing style is clear and easy to follow. The steady pace makes the story enjoyable and keeps you interested all the way through. Themes like growth, responsibility, and emotional maturity bring in meaningful depth without feeling too heavy.
While some parts of the story might feel predictable at times, the book still holds value because of its core message and character growth.
Overall, 'Leave Your Mess at Home' is a truly engaging and inspiring book that encourages us to take responsibility for our personal challenges and nurture healthier relationships. It warmly appeals to readers who enjoy stories focused on characters, self-awareness, and personal growth.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Four adult children, two parents, one family. Leave Your Mess at Home is the family’s story, mostly told from their children’s perspective. Each character is complex, flawed, human, as is their relationship to one another. Leave Your Mess at Home was one of those books I didn’t want to end because I could imagine so much more story yet to come.
Ola, Angola, Sola and Karen, born to Nigerian immigrants in Chicago. Ola is a successful hedge fund manager, newly married to a South American, nonblack wife. Ola seems mostly unaware of his privilege, which can make him frustrating, but also leaves room for a redemption arc. Angola is a physician. She has worked hard to be exactly what her parents expect of her. Yet, Angola falls short in being single and overwrought. Sola, estranged from her family after her mother threw her out. Sola is an influencer who has lost influence née income. And the youngest, Karen, still in college, unsure of her sexuality, and rendered insecure by vitiligo.
Leave Your Mess at Home feels tough to summarize in that it covers so much, but what it covers also just feels like 6 lives lived in parallel and in connection with one another. I truly loved all of the characters, especially the father and Sola (the father doesn’t receive a lot of airtime). I found Sola’s bite totally endearing.
There’s a little bit of everything in here: sexuality, consent, domestic abuse, infidelity, and so much love. Highly recommended. I’ll be on the lookout for what this author does next.
Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Ola, Angola, Sola and Karen, born to Nigerian immigrants in Chicago. Ola is a successful hedge fund manager, newly married to a South American, nonblack wife. Ola seems mostly unaware of his privilege, which can make him frustrating, but also leaves room for a redemption arc. Angola is a physician. She has worked hard to be exactly what her parents expect of her. Yet, Angola falls short in being single and overwrought. Sola, estranged from her family after her mother threw her out. Sola is an influencer who has lost influence née income. And the youngest, Karen, still in college, unsure of her sexuality, and rendered insecure by vitiligo.
Leave Your Mess at Home feels tough to summarize in that it covers so much, but what it covers also just feels like 6 lives lived in parallel and in connection with one another. I truly loved all of the characters, especially the father and Sola (the father doesn’t receive a lot of airtime). I found Sola’s bite totally endearing.
There’s a little bit of everything in here: sexuality, consent, domestic abuse, infidelity, and so much love. Highly recommended. I’ll be on the lookout for what this author does next.
Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.
I originally requested this book because the cover is absolutely beautiful and the title instantly grabbed my attention and I’m so glad I did.
This story centers on four Nigerian-American siblings who reunite for Thanksgiving after years of distance, unresolved tension, and buried secrets. When their estranged sister Sola unexpectedly returns home after a decade away, the reunion forces the Longe siblings to confront resentments, complicated relationships, and the pressures placed on them by family expectations.
What I enjoyed most about this novel was the family drama. Each sibling is dealing with their own struggles including love, identity, marriage, reputation, and self-worth and when they’re all finally in the same room, the emotional fireworks begin. The tension feels very real, and the messy dynamics between siblings kept the story engaging from start to finish.
I also appreciated that this was my first time reading a novel centered on a Nigerian immigrant family. Some of the cultural elements and conversations about expectations, identity, and navigating life as Nigerian-Americans were eye-opening and interesting. The book explores themes of family obligation, forgiveness, and figuring out who you are outside of the roles others expect you to play.
Overall, this was a drama filled, heartfelt debut. If you enjoy character driven stories about siblings, secrets, and emotional family reunions, this one is definitely worth picking up.
I originally requested this book because the cover is absolutely beautiful and the title instantly grabbed my attention and I’m so glad I did.
This story centers on four Nigerian-American siblings who reunite for Thanksgiving after years of distance, unresolved tension, and buried secrets. When their estranged sister Sola unexpectedly returns home after a decade away, the reunion forces the Longe siblings to confront resentments, complicated relationships, and the pressures placed on them by family expectations.
What I enjoyed most about this novel was the family drama. Each sibling is dealing with their own struggles including love, identity, marriage, reputation, and self-worth and when they’re all finally in the same room, the emotional fireworks begin. The tension feels very real, and the messy dynamics between siblings kept the story engaging from start to finish.
I also appreciated that this was my first time reading a novel centered on a Nigerian immigrant family. Some of the cultural elements and conversations about expectations, identity, and navigating life as Nigerian-Americans were eye-opening and interesting. The book explores themes of family obligation, forgiveness, and figuring out who you are outside of the roles others expect you to play.
Overall, this was a drama filled, heartfelt debut. If you enjoy character driven stories about siblings, secrets, and emotional family reunions, this one is definitely worth picking up.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Genuinely, I think this book healed something in me that I didn’t even realize I needed.
This story follows the lives of four adult siblings navigating their lives in Chicago. The title comes from the many ways they are learning how to be adults—each at different stages of life—while also being first‑generation Nigerian American children of parents who have a very specific vision of the “American Dream” for their family. The book thoughtfully explores the lengths people will go to in order to make their parents proud, and the cost of doing so. What these four siblings come to realize is that if you’re living solely to meet someone else’s expectations, then who are you really living for?
Do all four siblings experience messy, cringeworthy, and sometimes devastating circumstances? Absolutely. There were plenty of moments that caused secondhand embarrassment—but also moments that felt painfully relatable. My sibling and I are very much in a phase of life where we’re recognizing that while our parents want what’s best for us, the ways they tried to achieve that weren’t always harmless. Even when unintentional, those decisions can leave lasting impacts.
Another powerful aspect of this book is the process of growing *with* your parents. They are living life for the first time too, and while mistakes must be acknowledged, the growing pains ultimately lead to the most meaningful progress.
The intersectionality of identity in this novel is what truly makes it so impactful. This is absolutely a must-read.
Thank you to NetGalley and Viking Penguin for the advance copy.
This story follows the lives of four adult siblings navigating their lives in Chicago. The title comes from the many ways they are learning how to be adults—each at different stages of life—while also being first‑generation Nigerian American children of parents who have a very specific vision of the “American Dream” for their family. The book thoughtfully explores the lengths people will go to in order to make their parents proud, and the cost of doing so. What these four siblings come to realize is that if you’re living solely to meet someone else’s expectations, then who are you really living for?
Do all four siblings experience messy, cringeworthy, and sometimes devastating circumstances? Absolutely. There were plenty of moments that caused secondhand embarrassment—but also moments that felt painfully relatable. My sibling and I are very much in a phase of life where we’re recognizing that while our parents want what’s best for us, the ways they tried to achieve that weren’t always harmless. Even when unintentional, those decisions can leave lasting impacts.
Another powerful aspect of this book is the process of growing *with* your parents. They are living life for the first time too, and while mistakes must be acknowledged, the growing pains ultimately lead to the most meaningful progress.
The intersectionality of identity in this novel is what truly makes it so impactful. This is absolutely a must-read.
Thank you to NetGalley and Viking Penguin for the advance copy.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Leave Your Mess at Home absolutely wrecked me in the best way.
The story follows four siblings raised by two parents in a Nigerian household where reputation, obedience, and success are everything. Each sibling grows up under the same roof yet experiences that family very differently. The oldest sister is cast out and blamed for everything that goes wrong, leaving the younger siblings convinced she is the problem. One brother quietly falls in line, doing whatever the mother says without question. Another sister carries the heavy pressure of success and people pleasing, driven by a need to make her mother proud. The youngest sister is still figuring herself out, including her sexuality, while also feeling unwanted and disconnected from the sibling who left.
What makes this book so powerful is how clearly it shows that shared parents do not mean shared experiences. Watching each character’s perspective unfold was eye opening and painfully real. I live for books about dysfunctional families, and this one had me constantly reflecting on my own siblings, wondering what they might be carrying silently.
By the end, the character growth was incredible. The multiple points of view were so well written, and the recurring theme of finally speaking up for yourself felt both hopeful and healing. This book reminds you that complicated family dynamics can move toward understanding and repair, even when it feels impossible. I loved every page.
The story follows four siblings raised by two parents in a Nigerian household where reputation, obedience, and success are everything. Each sibling grows up under the same roof yet experiences that family very differently. The oldest sister is cast out and blamed for everything that goes wrong, leaving the younger siblings convinced she is the problem. One brother quietly falls in line, doing whatever the mother says without question. Another sister carries the heavy pressure of success and people pleasing, driven by a need to make her mother proud. The youngest sister is still figuring herself out, including her sexuality, while also feeling unwanted and disconnected from the sibling who left.
What makes this book so powerful is how clearly it shows that shared parents do not mean shared experiences. Watching each character’s perspective unfold was eye opening and painfully real. I live for books about dysfunctional families, and this one had me constantly reflecting on my own siblings, wondering what they might be carrying silently.
By the end, the character growth was incredible. The multiple points of view were so well written, and the recurring theme of finally speaking up for yourself felt both hopeful and healing. This book reminds you that complicated family dynamics can move toward understanding and repair, even when it feels impossible. I loved every page.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Slow and predictable.
This wasn't for me, but if you really want a story about adult siblings coming together, then you'll enjoy this book.
I found the writing to be very repetitive. I started skimming paragraphs because information was repeated from one chapter to another but from a different POV without adding anything additional to the situation. Scenes were also drawn out with very little tension. I got bored.
All the characters are introduced belonging in a similar headspace: They're unhappy with their current life choices, believe they want something different but don't know what that is. In the end, each character doesn't blow up their life but instead chooses the same life they had before. So in that way, not much really happens. Yes, there are life events that impact them during the book, but the ending is what I expected based on the opening chapters.
Maybe I've read too many "adult children of immigrants" stories because this one played out exactly as expected. I enjoyed the Nigerian details, but that was about it.
It's not a bad book. For readers who want a slow, slice of life, read about complex family dynamics and adult sibling relationships, this is probably exactly what they want. I was hoping for more nuance or more craft surprises in the writing.
I received a copy from NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
Story: 2 stars
Character Development: 3 stars
Writing: 2 stars
This wasn't for me, but if you really want a story about adult siblings coming together, then you'll enjoy this book.
I found the writing to be very repetitive. I started skimming paragraphs because information was repeated from one chapter to another but from a different POV without adding anything additional to the situation. Scenes were also drawn out with very little tension. I got bored.
All the characters are introduced belonging in a similar headspace: They're unhappy with their current life choices, believe they want something different but don't know what that is. In the end, each character doesn't blow up their life but instead chooses the same life they had before. So in that way, not much really happens. Yes, there are life events that impact them during the book, but the ending is what I expected based on the opening chapters.
Maybe I've read too many "adult children of immigrants" stories because this one played out exactly as expected. I enjoyed the Nigerian details, but that was about it.
It's not a bad book. For readers who want a slow, slice of life, read about complex family dynamics and adult sibling relationships, this is probably exactly what they want. I was hoping for more nuance or more craft surprises in the writing.
I received a copy from NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
Story: 2 stars
Character Development: 3 stars
Writing: 2 stars
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
This is a strong debut novel about coming of age and navigating family expectations, seen through the lens of children of Nigerian immigrants. I loved the shifting perspectives among the four Longe siblings, especially when the narrative looped back and overlapped to cover particular events from different angles. (I actually think this device could have been used a little bit more throughout the novel; it was a very effective way to portray the climactic scene.) The novel especially picked up steam in the second half--the insights, dialogue, and pacing all got stronger as the characters' individual and shared journeys progressed. I found myself wanting to spend more time with the siblings after they'd all started to round their own bends of self-discovery.
One small note of critique: Three of the four siblings have names/nicknames that end in "-ola" (Ola, Sola, and Anjola), which was a little confusing at the outset. As the book addresses the perceived challenges of Nigerian names in America (and the author's last name is Akinola) this could absolutely be intentional! But I found myself wanting each character to have a more distinctive name to further reflect their unique voice and perspective.
Thank you to #NetGalley and Viking Penguin for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
One small note of critique: Three of the four siblings have names/nicknames that end in "-ola" (Ola, Sola, and Anjola), which was a little confusing at the outset. As the book addresses the perceived challenges of Nigerian names in America (and the author's last name is Akinola) this could absolutely be intentional! But I found myself wanting each character to have a more distinctive name to further reflect their unique voice and perspective.
Thank you to #NetGalley and Viking Penguin for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
I really enjoyed Leave Your Mess at Home. It’s a family drama told from the perspectives of four adult siblings whose lives have taken very different paths, and it does a great job capturing how people raised in the same household can walk away with completely different experiences.
At its core, this is a story about family bonds, estrangement, old wounds, and the complicated ways love shows up. It also touches on the tension many first-generation children feel trying to balance their parents’ expectations with the reality of building lives in a different world. That layer added a lot of depth to the story.
The book spends time with each sibling individually before bringing them back into each other’s orbit. Each one had their own strengths, flaws, and coping mechanisms, and the shifting dynamics between them felt believable and grounded. Even when they frustrated me, I still found myself rooting for them to find their way back to each other.
The writing is engaging and very character-focused, and there’s something honest about how the novel handles sibling relationships, long-held grudges, and the slow work of reconciliation after a tragedy. It captures that mix of frustration, loyalty, and love that shows up in so many families.
Overall, this was a thoughtful, emotional read about identity, forgiveness, and what it means to come back to each other after life pulls you apart. If you like multi-POV family stories with strong emotional threads, this one is definitely worth picking up.
At its core, this is a story about family bonds, estrangement, old wounds, and the complicated ways love shows up. It also touches on the tension many first-generation children feel trying to balance their parents’ expectations with the reality of building lives in a different world. That layer added a lot of depth to the story.
The book spends time with each sibling individually before bringing them back into each other’s orbit. Each one had their own strengths, flaws, and coping mechanisms, and the shifting dynamics between them felt believable and grounded. Even when they frustrated me, I still found myself rooting for them to find their way back to each other.
The writing is engaging and very character-focused, and there’s something honest about how the novel handles sibling relationships, long-held grudges, and the slow work of reconciliation after a tragedy. It captures that mix of frustration, loyalty, and love that shows up in so many families.
Overall, this was a thoughtful, emotional read about identity, forgiveness, and what it means to come back to each other after life pulls you apart. If you like multi-POV family stories with strong emotional threads, this one is definitely worth picking up.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
This novel felt like a warm Nigerian embrace in the middle of a Chicago winter. From start to finish, it captured everything I look for in a powerful, emotionally resonant read.
The story centers on a Nigerian family’s siblings living in Chicago, and when tragedy strikes, the narrative unfolds through each of their perspectives with remarkable depth and grace. The author’s ability to fully immerse the reader in every point of view is striking—I found myself laughing, crying, and, at times, seeing parts of my own experiences reflected in these characters.
Each sibling’s journey is layered and compelling: a parent whose intense desire for success leaves lasting emotional impact, a people-pleasing sister struggling with self-worth, a favored son unsure of his place within his marriage, a misunderstood and mistreated sister rebuilding her life in her 30s, and another sibling navigating their sexuality while seeking acceptance.
Through these interconnected lives, the novel thoughtfully explores themes of family trauma, identity, cultural expectations, and the complexities within African and Black communities. The storytelling feels both intimate and expansive, touching on issues that linger long after the final page.
This is undoubtedly one of my top reads of 2026!!
Truly unforgettable—encore.
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The story centers on a Nigerian family’s siblings living in Chicago, and when tragedy strikes, the narrative unfolds through each of their perspectives with remarkable depth and grace. The author’s ability to fully immerse the reader in every point of view is striking—I found myself laughing, crying, and, at times, seeing parts of my own experiences reflected in these characters.
Each sibling’s journey is layered and compelling: a parent whose intense desire for success leaves lasting emotional impact, a people-pleasing sister struggling with self-worth, a favored son unsure of his place within his marriage, a misunderstood and mistreated sister rebuilding her life in her 30s, and another sibling navigating their sexuality while seeking acceptance.
Through these interconnected lives, the novel thoughtfully explores themes of family trauma, identity, cultural expectations, and the complexities within African and Black communities. The storytelling feels both intimate and expansive, touching on issues that linger long after the final page.
This is undoubtedly one of my top reads of 2026!!
Truly unforgettable—encore.
Auto-buy author!
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
“We’ve all gotta be honest about what we want from life…I’m learning to tell the truth now.”
A journey of self told through the intricate dynamics of a large Nigerian family, ripe with dysfunction and love scattered unevenly between them. Akinola gives voice to each family member through their different perspectives, strengths, weaknesses and vulnerabilities. Their parental expectations, pressure to be rich and successful, abuse when they fall short, self doubt and self righteousness, all land differently depending on whose eyes you’re seeing though.
The lies and betrayal that fractured them years ago makes finding their way back to each other that much more difficult. Watching the growth of these loved ones, learning their adult selves, how they fit together, how to be a friend to each other, and eventually learning how to forgive is the quiet heartbeat of the story.
Akinola’s writing takes on many layers as she clashes and weaves this family’s story with Nigerian and African American cultures, which feels both vibrant and authentic. The pages are alive with color and tradition that shape the characters as surely as their trials and triumphs do. Akinola created a heartfelt story, told beautifully.
*I was invited to read by the publisher Viking Penguin, through NetGalley, for an honest review
A journey of self told through the intricate dynamics of a large Nigerian family, ripe with dysfunction and love scattered unevenly between them. Akinola gives voice to each family member through their different perspectives, strengths, weaknesses and vulnerabilities. Their parental expectations, pressure to be rich and successful, abuse when they fall short, self doubt and self righteousness, all land differently depending on whose eyes you’re seeing though.
The lies and betrayal that fractured them years ago makes finding their way back to each other that much more difficult. Watching the growth of these loved ones, learning their adult selves, how they fit together, how to be a friend to each other, and eventually learning how to forgive is the quiet heartbeat of the story.
Akinola’s writing takes on many layers as she clashes and weaves this family’s story with Nigerian and African American cultures, which feels both vibrant and authentic. The pages are alive with color and tradition that shape the characters as surely as their trials and triumphs do. Akinola created a heartfelt story, told beautifully.
*I was invited to read by the publisher Viking Penguin, through NetGalley, for an honest review
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Thank you to NetGalley and Pamela Dorman Books for the eARC in exchange for an honest review of Leave Your Mess at Home by Tolani Akinola. This is a fantastic debut about a family through their highs and lows. Four adult siblings are very different. As someone with a sister who is quite different from me, I enjoyed watching how their dynamics played out. I think adult sibling relationships could be explored a bit more in fiction, so it was so nice to see it here. We get a peek into the lives of these siblings, and layers of their past are slowly peeled away. There is some triggering content in this book, such as mentions of child molestation, which brings about generational trauma as well as a struggle to seek personal identity. This was a sore subject for me and quite heavy. By the end, I wasn't sure how to feel about all of this because while the author tackled that subject in such a caring way, I still felt wrung out. It's a bit slow to start, and I did not fully sink into this one. While very well-written, it's not something that I think I would have picked up on my own if I didn't come across a recommendation list with this book on it. This was unputdownable, but my personal enjoyment was more in the middle.
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