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Leave Your Mess at Home
Longe, eldest daughter, estranged from the family, is secretly back home in Chicago for the first time in a decade. She’s a newly single and recently disgraced influencer trying to quietly put her life back together again. The other three Longe siblings aren't doing much better.
Anjola is in love with her best friend, who just got engaged to someone else; Karen, a college junior and the baby of the family, is grappling with her sexuality and self-image; and Ola, the golden child with a baby of his own on the way, is questioning his marriage and how to raise a Black son in America.
Sola’s unexpected return sets them on a crash course towards each other, and when the four siblings find themselves together again at their Nigerian immigrant parents' Thanksgiving table, a decade’s worth of secrets and a lifetime of resentments explode to the fore.
In the wreckage of their fateful reunion, each Longe is forced to reckon with the past, take stock of what really matters, and find a way back to each other. Big-hearted, hilarious, and poignant, Leave Your Mess At Home is an insightful debut about forgiveness, unconditional love, and becoming who you want to be, asking the what do we owe to our families, and what do we owe to ourselves?
Anjola is in love with her best friend, who just got engaged to someone else; Karen, a college junior and the baby of the family, is grappling with her sexuality and self-image; and Ola, the golden child with a baby of his own on the way, is questioning his marriage and how to raise a Black son in America.
Sola’s unexpected return sets them on a crash course towards each other, and when the four siblings find themselves together again at their Nigerian immigrant parents' Thanksgiving table, a decade’s worth of secrets and a lifetime of resentments explode to the fore.
In the wreckage of their fateful reunion, each Longe is forced to reckon with the past, take stock of what really matters, and find a way back to each other. Big-hearted, hilarious, and poignant, Leave Your Mess At Home is an insightful debut about forgiveness, unconditional love, and becoming who you want to be, asking the what do we owe to our families, and what do we owe to ourselves?
377 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 14, 2026
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 275 reviews
May 2, 2026
words to live by
(thanks to the publisher for the e-arc)
(thanks to the publisher for the e-arc)
April 21, 2026
Overall I enjoyed this novel about four Nigerian siblings living in Chicago. Sola, the eldest daughter, is back home for the first time after having been estranged from her family. Anjola, the second eldest daughter, is in love with her best friend who is getting married to someone else. Karen, a college junior and the youngest sibling is confronting her sexuality and who she wants to be in this stage of her life. And Ola, the only male sibling, has mixed feelings about embarking on the journey of fatherhood with his wife. Sola’s return to the family after many years away catalyzes changes that force each of the siblings to figure out who they are and what they’re willing to go for in each of their messy lives.
There were several elements of this novel that I really liked. First, I felt that Tolani Akinola nailed the family estrangement dynamic with Sola. Loved reading about how she navigated that and how her siblings responded, took accountability, grew in their understanding, etc. Each character also had a respectable growth arc (Ola’s I was kinda eh about, I think the ambivalence about being a parent could have been more richly explored, it was okay though.) Sola coming into herself after being in a mid interracial relationship, Anjola confronting her desires, and Karen developing confidence in herself and her sexuality were all moving and meaningful. Props to Akinola to writing a positive portrayal of therapy within Sola’s arc, and I was deeply in my feels about how Anjola’s story ended up because it was so relatable as an accomplished person who unfortunately still does not have everything I want in life.
The main constructive critique I have about this book is that I did find the writing style a bit predictable and not that exciting, especially for the first half of the book. For the first half of the book I was pretty certain I would give it a 3-3.5 at the highest. However, the way things came together for each of the characters in the second half impressed me enough for me to give it four stars instead. And, appreciated that Akinola truly decentered white characters/white love interests and focused on Black/Nigerian characters in this novel. If you’re into realistic fiction about family and relationships, you may want to check this one out!
There were several elements of this novel that I really liked. First, I felt that Tolani Akinola nailed the family estrangement dynamic with Sola. Loved reading about how she navigated that and how her siblings responded, took accountability, grew in their understanding, etc. Each character also had a respectable growth arc (Ola’s I was kinda eh about, I think the ambivalence about being a parent could have been more richly explored, it was okay though.) Sola coming into herself after being in a mid interracial relationship, Anjola confronting her desires, and Karen developing confidence in herself and her sexuality were all moving and meaningful. Props to Akinola to writing a positive portrayal of therapy within Sola’s arc, and I was deeply in my feels about how Anjola’s story ended up because it was so relatable as an accomplished person who unfortunately still does not have everything I want in life.
The main constructive critique I have about this book is that I did find the writing style a bit predictable and not that exciting, especially for the first half of the book. For the first half of the book I was pretty certain I would give it a 3-3.5 at the highest. However, the way things came together for each of the characters in the second half impressed me enough for me to give it four stars instead. And, appreciated that Akinola truly decentered white characters/white love interests and focused on Black/Nigerian characters in this novel. If you’re into realistic fiction about family and relationships, you may want to check this one out!
September 24, 2025
4.5 ☆
This was simply beautiful. Heartbreaking, thought-provoking, and oh so real.
First, I liked the writing. This is written in third person limited from the prospective of each sibling (and even the mother getting her own chapter). I feel that this prospective was perfect to tell this story as it allowed me to properly observe the story as if I were in the room or walking alongside the characters.
Each person was messy and imperfect and at times incredibly unlikeable and that just made me enjoy their journey's that much more. They weren't created to be liked, but you couldn't help but love and feel for them because of how realistic they were. While I couldn't relate to the characters' main struggles, I found bits in each that truly spoke to me. I couldn't help but to root for them.
I'd say the ending was bittersweet. They spent a lot of time angry, confused, and insecure and yes, there was some goodness at the end, but I saw it as the beginning of their journeys. They still have a ways to go of accepting themselves, healing relationships, etc. and I like that thought more than everything being okay at the end. Healing is a long journey and I think the author did a great job of showing that.
There were even funny moments! It was nice to laugh away some of my tears.
Utterly unputdownable and amazing for a debut. Everyone should definitely give it a read.
** There's not a TWs page but be mindful that there are mentions of child molestation, chastisement, and abuse. They're not incredibly detailed and the mentions are brief, but they are there.
Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for access to this ARC in exchange for a review!
⤷ Fave quotes:
• 'Knowing what she wants out of life is a hard thing. If she had to describe what she's done so far to, say, a blank-faced God on Judgement Day, she thinks she would say it's mostly been a mixture of what she's been told to do and what seems right. Want is something else entirely.'
• 'She realizes that she keeps trying to bargain herself into the life designed for her and then making small compromises to inch outside of it.'
• 'Learning this late that love takes kindling and stoking work, diligent effort, that it isn't just handed to you? The same way she's had to learn, this late, that she even deserves love at all?
This was simply beautiful. Heartbreaking, thought-provoking, and oh so real.
First, I liked the writing. This is written in third person limited from the prospective of each sibling (and even the mother getting her own chapter). I feel that this prospective was perfect to tell this story as it allowed me to properly observe the story as if I were in the room or walking alongside the characters.
Each person was messy and imperfect and at times incredibly unlikeable and that just made me enjoy their journey's that much more. They weren't created to be liked, but you couldn't help but love and feel for them because of how realistic they were. While I couldn't relate to the characters' main struggles, I found bits in each that truly spoke to me. I couldn't help but to root for them.
I'd say the ending was bittersweet. They spent a lot of time angry, confused, and insecure and yes, there was some goodness at the end, but I saw it as the beginning of their journeys. They still have a ways to go of accepting themselves, healing relationships, etc. and I like that thought more than everything being okay at the end. Healing is a long journey and I think the author did a great job of showing that.
There were even funny moments! It was nice to laugh away some of my tears.
Utterly unputdownable and amazing for a debut. Everyone should definitely give it a read.
** There's not a TWs page but be mindful that there are mentions of child molestation, chastisement, and abuse. They're not incredibly detailed and the mentions are brief, but they are there.
Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for access to this ARC in exchange for a review!
⤷ Fave quotes:
• 'Knowing what she wants out of life is a hard thing. If she had to describe what she's done so far to, say, a blank-faced God on Judgement Day, she thinks she would say it's mostly been a mixture of what she's been told to do and what seems right. Want is something else entirely.'
• 'She realizes that she keeps trying to bargain herself into the life designed for her and then making small compromises to inch outside of it.'
• 'Learning this late that love takes kindling and stoking work, diligent effort, that it isn't just handed to you? The same way she's had to learn, this late, that she even deserves love at all?
April 13, 2026
Thank you to Viking Penguin, Pamela Dorman Books, and NetGalley for the eARC! Greatly appreciated :)
This book's bittersweet story about the lives of Ola, Sola, Anjola, and Karen navigating their lives of being children of Nigerian immigrants was something fresh and in a way, very inspiring and relatable. I lowkey feel that I resonated most with Karen, especially with trying to be the person my mother wants me to be but wanting to pave her own path and do what feels right for her. Her also being a lesbian black woman also made her story all the more interesting and relatable, but everyone's stories and how they intertwined with each other and how their parents shaped their lives and relationships with others.....wow.
This book was so well written and even though I'm not really well versed with familial contemporary fiction, this is was very well done. Reading about Sola's story was so heartbreaking, and I felt like a could relate to each of the sibling's experiences. From Anjola having feelings for a best friend of years who loves someone else, to Ola's experience of never really knowing or feeling adequate enough as a partner, to Sola's experience of always being the one who had to be the prim and proper child and always being on the receiving end of her mother's scorn, and to Karen's experience of her feelings towards women and feeling like she has to fit in a certain box to be validated and appreciated by her mother.....just wow. Akinola did her BIG ONE with this one. For this to be a debut.....is absolutely incredible and impressive.
This book's bittersweet story about the lives of Ola, Sola, Anjola, and Karen navigating their lives of being children of Nigerian immigrants was something fresh and in a way, very inspiring and relatable. I lowkey feel that I resonated most with Karen, especially with trying to be the person my mother wants me to be but wanting to pave her own path and do what feels right for her. Her also being a lesbian black woman also made her story all the more interesting and relatable, but everyone's stories and how they intertwined with each other and how their parents shaped their lives and relationships with others.....wow.
This book was so well written and even though I'm not really well versed with familial contemporary fiction, this is was very well done. Reading about Sola's story was so heartbreaking, and I felt like a could relate to each of the sibling's experiences. From Anjola having feelings for a best friend of years who loves someone else, to Ola's experience of never really knowing or feeling adequate enough as a partner, to Sola's experience of always being the one who had to be the prim and proper child and always being on the receiving end of her mother's scorn, and to Karen's experience of her feelings towards women and feeling like she has to fit in a certain box to be validated and appreciated by her mother.....just wow. Akinola did her BIG ONE with this one. For this to be a debut.....is absolutely incredible and impressive.
April 30, 2026
If you are a fan of dysfunctional family fiction, this was an interesting read. Plenty of drama, secrets, etc told from the various viewpoints of most of the major characters. There is some strong emotional content. Because there is a reference to childhood abuse, I do wish a page with a trigger warning had been included. Otherwise, well written for the genre.
April 2, 2026
I don’t believe in perfect books but this one is making me reevaluate that. A perfect story of family, sibling relationships, culture, immigrant families, the courage to be yourself, and more.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for this arc in exchange for honest opinion.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for this arc in exchange for honest opinion.
May 4, 2026
Brb I’m crying 🥹
March 27, 2026
Review of advanced reader copy received from NetGalley
Leave Your Mess At Home by Tolani Akinola is a dynamic read that explores the adult lives of four siblings raised by Nigerian immigrant parents.
While we all have our own family experiences, many readers will feel seen by how Akinola masterfully captures the different layers of belonging, love, individualism, jealousy, hate, and fear that unfold throughout family life. Throughout this book, each sibling is forced to confront their past while also trying to understand who they want to be in the future.
What I loved about this book is how it doesn’t shy away from some of the hard stuff, like tense mother-daughter relationships, identity crises about who you are rather than who your family wants you to be, and confronting racial bias. I found myself emotionally invested in Sola’s story. Not because I had the same experiences, but because I know so many older daughters have to carry so much of what they don’t ask for.
Overall, this is an engaging read I’d recommend to solo readers and book clubs, as there are many themes to explore that could keep you talking for hours!
Thank you NetGalley for an advanced reader copy of this book.
Leave Your Mess At Home by Tolani Akinola is a dynamic read that explores the adult lives of four siblings raised by Nigerian immigrant parents.
While we all have our own family experiences, many readers will feel seen by how Akinola masterfully captures the different layers of belonging, love, individualism, jealousy, hate, and fear that unfold throughout family life. Throughout this book, each sibling is forced to confront their past while also trying to understand who they want to be in the future.
What I loved about this book is how it doesn’t shy away from some of the hard stuff, like tense mother-daughter relationships, identity crises about who you are rather than who your family wants you to be, and confronting racial bias. I found myself emotionally invested in Sola’s story. Not because I had the same experiences, but because I know so many older daughters have to carry so much of what they don’t ask for.
Overall, this is an engaging read I’d recommend to solo readers and book clubs, as there are many themes to explore that could keep you talking for hours!
Thank you NetGalley for an advanced reader copy of this book.
September 3, 2025
Such an impressive debut novel. It's so good that it really is hard to believe that this multi perspective book from four Nigerian American siblings is this author's first published work. This contained multitudes about a family who is at odds with each when the prodigal daughter returns home for Thanksgiving. There are so many secrets and truths withheld, but what was truly touching, is when each learned the difference between perceived love and actual love. The ending is exceptionally strong and I really loved how each of the siblings grew into and within themselves.
I received an arc from the publisher but all opinions are my own.
I received an arc from the publisher but all opinions are my own.
December 1, 2025
PERFECT.
May 18, 2026
Leave your Mess at Home felt messy in the most
human way possible - emotionally layered, frustrating at times, but very real. Tolani Akinola did a great job capturing the tension between family expectations, personal identity, and the emotional baggage people drag from one relationship into the next.
What stood out most for me was how grounded the characters felt. Nobody was perfectly good or perfectly terrible; everybody was carrying something. The dialogue and interpersonal conflict felt natural, like conversations you've either overheard or personally survived.
The pacing slowed a little in parts for me, but the emotional payoff kept me invested. Overall, this was one of those reads that quietly lingers after you finish because it forces you to think about what people inherit emotionally and what they refuse to unpack.
human way possible - emotionally layered, frustrating at times, but very real. Tolani Akinola did a great job capturing the tension between family expectations, personal identity, and the emotional baggage people drag from one relationship into the next.
What stood out most for me was how grounded the characters felt. Nobody was perfectly good or perfectly terrible; everybody was carrying something. The dialogue and interpersonal conflict felt natural, like conversations you've either overheard or personally survived.
The pacing slowed a little in parts for me, but the emotional payoff kept me invested. Overall, this was one of those reads that quietly lingers after you finish because it forces you to think about what people inherit emotionally and what they refuse to unpack.
May 5, 2026
Thanks to NetGalley and Pamela Dorman Books for my ARC in exchange for my honest review. This book is available now.
I loved this debut novel. Told over about 2.5 months, 4 adult siblings (Sola, Karen, Anjola and Ola) return to their Nigerian parent’s home for Thanksgiving, each with their own personality and secrets. Their stories are messy and yet I was rooting for each of them.
Themes include family and forgiveness.
I loved this debut novel. Told over about 2.5 months, 4 adult siblings (Sola, Karen, Anjola and Ola) return to their Nigerian parent’s home for Thanksgiving, each with their own personality and secrets. Their stories are messy and yet I was rooting for each of them.
Themes include family and forgiveness.
April 18, 2026
Rating: 4.5 ⭐️
———
Here I go again picking up another book centered on siblings and family trauma—I might need a break from this theme soon. 🫠
This story follows multiple perspectives, which added strong character development, but at times felt repetitive since the same events were revisited through each sibling’s lens. Still, it helped deepen my understanding of their individual experiences.
Sola’s character was the most frustrating for me. She excused her father while placing blame on her siblings, as if they weren’t children navigating the same toxic environment. That lack of awareness into adulthood was difficult to watch. At the same time, the contrast in how the siblings viewed one another was interesting—Anjola and Karen held onto loving memories of Sola, while she remained focused on the negative. It highlighted just how much unhealed trauma she carried, especially given how little protection she received growing up.
Around 66%, the story takes a shocking and emotional turn that I didn’t expect. While heartbreaking, it ultimately becomes the catalyst for the family to come back together. I appreciated that the author didn’t rush this reconciliation—the process felt gradual, messy, and realistic. By the end, there was a strong sense of closure. Despite my frustrations with some of the characters, the book thoughtfully explores family trauma, self-worth, and healing, and I found myself enjoying it overall.
I’m late to the party, but thank you Net Galley & Pamela Dorman Books/Penguin Random House for the ARC!
———
Here I go again picking up another book centered on siblings and family trauma—I might need a break from this theme soon. 🫠
This story follows multiple perspectives, which added strong character development, but at times felt repetitive since the same events were revisited through each sibling’s lens. Still, it helped deepen my understanding of their individual experiences.
Sola’s character was the most frustrating for me. She excused her father while placing blame on her siblings, as if they weren’t children navigating the same toxic environment. That lack of awareness into adulthood was difficult to watch. At the same time, the contrast in how the siblings viewed one another was interesting—Anjola and Karen held onto loving memories of Sola, while she remained focused on the negative. It highlighted just how much unhealed trauma she carried, especially given how little protection she received growing up.
Around 66%, the story takes a shocking and emotional turn that I didn’t expect. While heartbreaking, it ultimately becomes the catalyst for the family to come back together. I appreciated that the author didn’t rush this reconciliation—the process felt gradual, messy, and realistic. By the end, there was a strong sense of closure. Despite my frustrations with some of the characters, the book thoughtfully explores family trauma, self-worth, and healing, and I found myself enjoying it overall.
I’m late to the party, but thank you Net Galley & Pamela Dorman Books/Penguin Random House for the ARC!
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
This character driven book was so emotional and multi layered. You can feel the turmoil that the family is going through as the days lead up to Thanksgiving and the siblings are coming to terms with meeting up after so long being apart.
I loved that every sibling was able to have their on POV chapters. There was definitely some mess that was hashed out amongst everyone, things long buried that needed to be addressed. It was beautifully written and deeply rooted in culture and African heritage. I would definitely recommend this book.
Thank you to Viking Penguin and Netgally for this ARC.
I loved that every sibling was able to have their on POV chapters. There was definitely some mess that was hashed out amongst everyone, things long buried that needed to be addressed. It was beautifully written and deeply rooted in culture and African heritage. I would definitely recommend this book.
Thank you to Viking Penguin and Netgally for this ARC.
May 16, 2026
A tender, often funny, compelling, and absolutely gorgeous exploration of family - and, in particular - sibling dynamics. I loved and rooted for all four (4) siblings, while aching for and because of my own. A brilliant debut by Ms. Akinola.
May 10, 2026
Everybody in this book was a mess but the writing was pretty good. 4/5 ⭐️.
May 22, 2026
Wonderful story about dysfunctional families and how it impacts the choices of their adult children. These characters were so well written—full of life and unique and deeply flawed.
April 25, 2026
4.5 rounded up to 5 stars!
This is my kind of jam, a little bit of literary fiction, an author who is a female annnnnd minority, and not too many main characters.
Four siblings, this is can do! It was easy enough to keep all the siblings straight, and that says a lot bc my brain cannot switch it up shem there are so many important characters.
This was a hell of a debut novel, I must say. All the differences between how the siblings were raised and how they became successful adults was so interesting and so real life. I actually grew up across the street from a Nigerian family, and the way they treated the girls was so much more strict than how they treated their sons.
The drama, unrequited love, sexuality exploration, tragedy, etc... it doesn't necessarily make for the happiest story, but I'm all about real life, and THIS story is definitely real life!
This is my kind of jam, a little bit of literary fiction, an author who is a female annnnnd minority, and not too many main characters.
Four siblings, this is can do! It was easy enough to keep all the siblings straight, and that says a lot bc my brain cannot switch it up shem there are so many important characters.
This was a hell of a debut novel, I must say. All the differences between how the siblings were raised and how they became successful adults was so interesting and so real life. I actually grew up across the street from a Nigerian family, and the way they treated the girls was so much more strict than how they treated their sons.
The drama, unrequited love, sexuality exploration, tragedy, etc... it doesn't necessarily make for the happiest story, but I'm all about real life, and THIS story is definitely real life!
May 19, 2026
It is a lucky thing to get a 5 star read like this! I love a family drama and this was thrillingly entertaining.
Count me in for any story about the weight of generational expectations, especially in families of first generation Americans. Honestly, I can’t even imagine the pressure that some parents can place on their children, pressing down on them with the constant underlying sentiment of “we uprooted our lives, we came to America, we gave up everything so that you could have it all, so you better go out and be a doctor and if you’re not a doctor and if you’re not perfect then you may no longer be worthy of my love.” It’s amazing that people can come out of childhoods with the weight of those expectations and still be sane, productive members of society, still actively participating in their families and carrying on loving relationships.
All four siblings in Leave Your Mess at Home were flawed, but so endearing. Ola’s struggle was particularly fascinating to me. Men suffer tremendously in patriarchal societies. They are told that their worth and superiority is intrinsic because of their gender which ends up being a form of brainwashing that keeps them in turmoil - conflicted, unable to be their authentic selves. As Ola notes he was “teetering along parallel paths” code-switching between the authentic self and the ingrained role.
The Thanksgiving dinner scene has the most fascinating line-by-line, emotion-by-emotion, subtext-by-subtext showcase of a dysfunctional family dynamic. The writing is tense and insightful throughout the entire novel, but that scene in particular was superb. It is a very special writerly skill to be able to make the reader feel both disappointment in and empathy for every character in a scene that has eight characters. She unveils the motivations behind their defensiveness and bravado while letting you watch the siblings slowly devolve into their adolescent archetypes, the kindly patriarch slowly pull his head out of the sand, and the matriarch finally reveal all her nastiness.
Tolani Akinola gives us a whole dissertation in a page-turning banger of a book. In addition to the depths she plumbs to show an immigrant Nigerian-American family dynamic, there’s deep commentary here on intra-family relationships (ie mothers and daughters), multiple love stories playing out - one new love with self discovery, one old love with maturing/moving on, and she even gives us debates about the black American experience vs the black first generation experience and the striations and resentments therein. I’m wildly impressed with books that can do this much and never lose the thread of story authenticity.
Count me in for any story about the weight of generational expectations, especially in families of first generation Americans. Honestly, I can’t even imagine the pressure that some parents can place on their children, pressing down on them with the constant underlying sentiment of “we uprooted our lives, we came to America, we gave up everything so that you could have it all, so you better go out and be a doctor and if you’re not a doctor and if you’re not perfect then you may no longer be worthy of my love.” It’s amazing that people can come out of childhoods with the weight of those expectations and still be sane, productive members of society, still actively participating in their families and carrying on loving relationships.
All four siblings in Leave Your Mess at Home were flawed, but so endearing. Ola’s struggle was particularly fascinating to me. Men suffer tremendously in patriarchal societies. They are told that their worth and superiority is intrinsic because of their gender which ends up being a form of brainwashing that keeps them in turmoil - conflicted, unable to be their authentic selves. As Ola notes he was “teetering along parallel paths” code-switching between the authentic self and the ingrained role.
The Thanksgiving dinner scene has the most fascinating line-by-line, emotion-by-emotion, subtext-by-subtext showcase of a dysfunctional family dynamic. The writing is tense and insightful throughout the entire novel, but that scene in particular was superb. It is a very special writerly skill to be able to make the reader feel both disappointment in and empathy for every character in a scene that has eight characters. She unveils the motivations behind their defensiveness and bravado while letting you watch the siblings slowly devolve into their adolescent archetypes, the kindly patriarch slowly pull his head out of the sand, and the matriarch finally reveal all her nastiness.
Tolani Akinola gives us a whole dissertation in a page-turning banger of a book. In addition to the depths she plumbs to show an immigrant Nigerian-American family dynamic, there’s deep commentary here on intra-family relationships (ie mothers and daughters), multiple love stories playing out - one new love with self discovery, one old love with maturing/moving on, and she even gives us debates about the black American experience vs the black first generation experience and the striations and resentments therein. I’m wildly impressed with books that can do this much and never lose the thread of story authenticity.
April 14, 2026
Thank you @prhaudio for the free audiobook! 🎧
I LOVED IT!! I LOVED IT, I JUST LOVED IT!
This debut pulled out all the stops cause honey it was layered, it was full of family drama, emotional depth, I loved the complexity within the sibling and parent relationships and it was MESSSSSY!
It’s the type of story that beautifully reminds you how powerful flawed characters can be. Ola, Karen, Anjola and Sola felt real in a way that made me sit with them, understand them, and even wrestle with them.
There were some moments I didn’t love, especially certain choices from two of the siblings and there was something about how one character was written. But honestly? I still appreciated the reality of her character arc and what it represented. When I really think about it, this story felt like a love letter to children of immigrants; all of those unspoken expectations both culturally and religiously, the tension between identity, and that heavy longing to be fully seen. 😭
The closer I got to the end of this story the more I wish that somehow more chapters would’ve just kept loading— that’s how much I didn’t want this to end. I’m glad I took my time with it because it truly felt like a story that deserved that kind of attention.
I HIGHLY recommend the audiobook, because A'rese Emokpae did a phenomenal job bringing all four of these distinct characters to life.
May 10, 2026
The impact this book had on me emotionally will stay with me for a long time. The raw emotion put into this book depicting a strained family dynamic felt so authentic and relatable. Each family member was flawed in ways we can see our own family members and ourselves flawed. We crave acceptance and overall love - and in this case each sibling is fighting for it unbeknownst that they are hurting each other in the process.
After the eldest daughter Sola returns after leaving her family years ago, her siblings try to make sense of their relationship with her. Why did she leave? Why is she back? Who are we to each other ? I loved each sibling in different ways and found my heart breaking for each of them. The family dynamics between the siblings and the parents felt particularly a hit too close to the heart. It’s a tale of immigrant parents raising their kids to have a better life in a new part of the world but ultimately coming at a traumatic price.
There was a turning point in the book that felt like things would start healing and then BAM - a twist that left me in tears. Thinking of it now has me crying. This book is full of emotion and depth. It crosses between fiction and reality - i know for myself I can see these dynamics and family members within my own home. The author does an amazing job capturing all of the emotions in a dysfunctional family. Highly highly recommend - please read trigger warnings.
After the eldest daughter Sola returns after leaving her family years ago, her siblings try to make sense of their relationship with her. Why did she leave? Why is she back? Who are we to each other ? I loved each sibling in different ways and found my heart breaking for each of them. The family dynamics between the siblings and the parents felt particularly a hit too close to the heart. It’s a tale of immigrant parents raising their kids to have a better life in a new part of the world but ultimately coming at a traumatic price.
There was a turning point in the book that felt like things would start healing and then BAM - a twist that left me in tears. Thinking of it now has me crying. This book is full of emotion and depth. It crosses between fiction and reality - i know for myself I can see these dynamics and family members within my own home. The author does an amazing job capturing all of the emotions in a dysfunctional family. Highly highly recommend - please read trigger warnings.
April 23, 2026
Every family is a mess. But when you’re the child of immigrants, that mess is often pressurized by the weight of a thousand expectations. Tolani Akinola’s Leave Your Mess at Home takes four siblings, one Thanksgiving table, and decades of ‘don’t tell our secrets’ to show what happens when the pressure cooker finally explodes.
My Thoughts on Leave Your Mess at Home:
Dialogue:
Akinola does a wonderful job of creating dialogue. I felt like I was sitting in their house eavesdropping on the banter of the siblings, the loving or harsh comments from the parents, and even the internal dialogue was spot-on. Sometimes, the dialogue was uncomfortable among the characters, but that only added to its reality.
Cultural Insight:
The four siblings come from Nigerian immigrant parents. I never thought about the pressure that is sometimes placed on their children to succeed because of the sacrifices that were made to come to the United States. As the oldest son and the oldest daughter, the pressure was even greater. This was eye-opening for me, and I’m glad it was a major theme in the book.
Sibling Relationships:
I always enjoy books that highlight sibling relationships. A sibling never experiences family the same way as another sibling. Akinola truly demonstrates this throughout the story. It doesn’t matter where you fall within the sibling line-up, there are always pros and cons, and this story delves deeply into each one.
The Pacing:
This is a very long book to take place over such a short amount of time. I always wanted to keep reading, but the pace is slow and steady. It is like watching your favorite family drama over the length of a weekend. The story is told in third-person, and since we see the point of view from each of the four siblings (and some from the mother), it is like an unhurried stroll through the park.
My Rating:
If you like reading about complex family relationships, an insider’s view of living the American dream, a wide emotional range, you will enjoy this book. If you are looking for a fast-paced story with all likable characters, then this book may not be for you. I definitely enjoyed the story. I’m just not sure it will stick as something I will always remember.
My Favorite Quote:
“And then his father fixes a look on his mother worse than betrayal. The look of love inverted, of sweetness turned rancid, of rotting fruit.”
I could feel the feels in this quote. I thought it was written perfectly because it created a tension that felt almost suffocating.
Thank you to NetGalley, Viking Penguin, and Tolani Akinola for my free copy of this book. This is my honest opinion.
Leave a comment:
Where do you fall in your sibling lineup, and do you feel it shaped how you viewed your parents’ expectations?
My Thoughts on Leave Your Mess at Home:
Dialogue:
Akinola does a wonderful job of creating dialogue. I felt like I was sitting in their house eavesdropping on the banter of the siblings, the loving or harsh comments from the parents, and even the internal dialogue was spot-on. Sometimes, the dialogue was uncomfortable among the characters, but that only added to its reality.
Cultural Insight:
The four siblings come from Nigerian immigrant parents. I never thought about the pressure that is sometimes placed on their children to succeed because of the sacrifices that were made to come to the United States. As the oldest son and the oldest daughter, the pressure was even greater. This was eye-opening for me, and I’m glad it was a major theme in the book.
Sibling Relationships:
I always enjoy books that highlight sibling relationships. A sibling never experiences family the same way as another sibling. Akinola truly demonstrates this throughout the story. It doesn’t matter where you fall within the sibling line-up, there are always pros and cons, and this story delves deeply into each one.
The Pacing:
This is a very long book to take place over such a short amount of time. I always wanted to keep reading, but the pace is slow and steady. It is like watching your favorite family drama over the length of a weekend. The story is told in third-person, and since we see the point of view from each of the four siblings (and some from the mother), it is like an unhurried stroll through the park.
My Rating:
If you like reading about complex family relationships, an insider’s view of living the American dream, a wide emotional range, you will enjoy this book. If you are looking for a fast-paced story with all likable characters, then this book may not be for you. I definitely enjoyed the story. I’m just not sure it will stick as something I will always remember.
My Favorite Quote:
“And then his father fixes a look on his mother worse than betrayal. The look of love inverted, of sweetness turned rancid, of rotting fruit.”
I could feel the feels in this quote. I thought it was written perfectly because it created a tension that felt almost suffocating.
Thank you to NetGalley, Viking Penguin, and Tolani Akinola for my free copy of this book. This is my honest opinion.
Leave a comment:
Where do you fall in your sibling lineup, and do you feel it shaped how you viewed your parents’ expectations?
April 16, 2026
(4.5 stars)
Thanks to Viking Books and PRH Audio for the free ARC & ALC, respectively. All opinions are my own.
If you're a fan of character-driven family dramas, I highly recommend this beautiful debut novel! It follows four adult siblings and their parents as they converge in Chicago one fall - complete with a confrontational Thanksgiving meal. Each sibling, and of course their parents too, has their own "mess" to deal with. The book also depicts the complexities and relationships within this Nigerian-American family both in the past and in the present.
Ola's wife is pregnant with their son and he's wondering about the life paths not taken.
Sola is the family outcast, hurt and betrayed. She's back in Chicago after a painful breakup but hasn't seen her family in a decade.
Anjola is a golden daughter, pursuing her medical career. She's also in love with her male best friend, who is engaged to someone else.
Karen, the baby of the family, is in college trying to figure out who she is and what she wants.
This is such an impressive debut, from Akinola's compelling prose to the way she deftly balances six main characters, switching POVs throughout.
More of what you'll find in this story:
* Queer rep
* Interracial marriage
* Vitiligo rep
* Therapy rep
* Family drama
* Adult siblings
* Immigrant/first generation Nigerian-American rep
I loved the narration by A’rese Emokpae. She was perfect for this book as far as I could tell and really enhanced the story!
As I said up top, highly recommend this one to all fans of character-driven family dramas! There are some triggers to be aware of, though, so please take care of yourself as always.
Thanks to Viking Books and PRH Audio for the free ARC & ALC, respectively. All opinions are my own.
If you're a fan of character-driven family dramas, I highly recommend this beautiful debut novel! It follows four adult siblings and their parents as they converge in Chicago one fall - complete with a confrontational Thanksgiving meal. Each sibling, and of course their parents too, has their own "mess" to deal with. The book also depicts the complexities and relationships within this Nigerian-American family both in the past and in the present.
Ola's wife is pregnant with their son and he's wondering about the life paths not taken.
Sola is the family outcast, hurt and betrayed. She's back in Chicago after a painful breakup but hasn't seen her family in a decade.
Anjola is a golden daughter, pursuing her medical career. She's also in love with her male best friend, who is engaged to someone else.
Karen, the baby of the family, is in college trying to figure out who she is and what she wants.
This is such an impressive debut, from Akinola's compelling prose to the way she deftly balances six main characters, switching POVs throughout.
More of what you'll find in this story:
* Queer rep
* Interracial marriage
* Vitiligo rep
* Therapy rep
* Family drama
* Adult siblings
* Immigrant/first generation Nigerian-American rep
I loved the narration by A’rese Emokpae. She was perfect for this book as far as I could tell and really enhanced the story!
As I said up top, highly recommend this one to all fans of character-driven family dramas! There are some triggers to be aware of, though, so please take care of yourself as always.
April 14, 2026
4.5 stars
This is a beautiful debut story.
The writing is incredible, humorous and engaging. I liked how it was written in each siblings’ POV, it made the story more relatable and personal.
The storyline explores family dynamics and its complexities, immigration, identity crisis and Nigerian culture. The characters are interesting, imperfect and messy. The story is a reminder that siblings can experience different versions of their parents despite living under the same roof.
I found myself sympathizing with Sola; she carried so much burden and I couldn’t help but hold a grudge against Ola and their mom. The tragic part of the book had me crying, it was so heartbreaking.
Although the ending was bittersweet, I still think it was a good ending.
Thank you to Viking Penguin and Netgally for this ARC.
This is a beautiful debut story.
The writing is incredible, humorous and engaging. I liked how it was written in each siblings’ POV, it made the story more relatable and personal.
The storyline explores family dynamics and its complexities, immigration, identity crisis and Nigerian culture. The characters are interesting, imperfect and messy. The story is a reminder that siblings can experience different versions of their parents despite living under the same roof.
I found myself sympathizing with Sola; she carried so much burden and I couldn’t help but hold a grudge against Ola and their mom. The tragic part of the book had me crying, it was so heartbreaking.
Although the ending was bittersweet, I still think it was a good ending.
Thank you to Viking Penguin and Netgally for this ARC.
April 25, 2026
A messy, heartfelt family drama that follows four adult siblings of Nigerian immigrants navigating identity crises, impending parenthood, relationship woes and more. The novel takes place in Chicago over the course of two months, alternating POVs between each sibling and has them coming together over the unexpected death of someone in the family. Good on audio, this was entertaining, relatable and perfect for fans of books like The Irish goodbye or Hope and glory by Jendella Benson. Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early digital copy in exchange for my honest review.
April 12, 2026
4.5
This captured family/life mess and trauma so well. It saddened and angered me. It made me laugh and tear up. They were all such well written characters with depth still learning to find themselves after so many years of being who they were told to be. An amazing story about grief, trauma, navigating life, learning forgiveness, and so much more. I had a hard time with the ending as far as the mother goes but I understand that’s just how it goes sometimes. Really enjoyed this one.
This captured family/life mess and trauma so well. It saddened and angered me. It made me laugh and tear up. They were all such well written characters with depth still learning to find themselves after so many years of being who they were told to be. An amazing story about grief, trauma, navigating life, learning forgiveness, and so much more. I had a hard time with the ending as far as the mother goes but I understand that’s just how it goes sometimes. Really enjoyed this one.
March 19, 2026
Wow!!!!!!Leave Your Mess at Home by Tolani Akinola is a compelling and emotionally rich debut that explores the complexities of family, identity, and personal growth. Centered around four Nigerian-American siblings, the novel brings readers into a tense yet heartfelt Thanksgiving reunion where long-buried secrets and unresolved tensions come to the surface. Each character is well-developed and relatable, navigating their own struggles with love, expectations, and self-discovery. Akinola does a beautiful job balancing humor with heavier themes, making the story feel authentic and engaging without becoming overwhelming. This is a thoughtful, character-driven novel that highlights the messy but meaningful nature of family relationships.
March 17, 2026
Thank you Viking and Pamela Dorman books for the ARC of this book. This book surprised me in so many ways…it was extremely raw in its portrayal of just how ugly, fragile, beautiful and MESSY family/families can be. The writing was extremely captivating, and the plot was THICKKK! I tore this book up in two days, simultaneously wanting to know what was happening next and trying to elongate the story.
I love seeing the character development of each of the four main characters. The book is both heartbreaking, inspiring, and dare I say fun?
Congrats to the author on their debut novel. If this is how she’s starting a book one I’m really excited for her future work!!
Lastly this would be a PERFECTTTTTT book club read because there’s just so many different elements to dig in…
I love seeing the character development of each of the four main characters. The book is both heartbreaking, inspiring, and dare I say fun?
Congrats to the author on their debut novel. If this is how she’s starting a book one I’m really excited for her future work!!
Lastly this would be a PERFECTTTTTT book club read because there’s just so many different elements to dig in…
April 29, 2026
Lots of important messaging in this one!!
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