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A Room in Bombay: A Memoir
A best-selling novelist turns to memoir in this compelling story of a son’s love, a mother’s obsession, and the malevolent grip of the past.
Indian American author Manil Suri grew up in a large crumbling apartment in Bombay (now Mumbai) which his parents, who were Hindu, shared with three Muslim families. Their single room, at times a refuge from the religious and territorial tensions pervading the apartment, was also a prison that held them captive—his parents stuck in an unhappy marriage, the author unable to explore the dawning realization he might be gay. At age 20, Suri managed to break free and come to the US, where he finally found the freedom to embrace his sexuality and find a life partner. But the room, which still held his parents hostage, kept wrenching him back to Bombay.
By now real estate prices had risen so much that neighbors had begun conspiring to take over the room, causing Suri’s parents to dig in even more. Eventually it was only his mother, Prem, left, who had staked all her happiness on her son but was unable to escape the room’s hold on her. When a rash of mysterious incidents seemed to beset the room, Suri realized how little time he had left to convince Prem that a happier life might await beyond the four walls that both enthralled and imprisoned her.
This remarkable, gripping memoir explores how an abode can shape destiny, while delving into the difficult question of how much to prioritize our parents’ happiness over our own. Inspired by over 2,700 letters the author wrote home over three decades, it is ultimately a testament to the abiding, unbreakable bond tying a son to his mother.
Indian American author Manil Suri grew up in a large crumbling apartment in Bombay (now Mumbai) which his parents, who were Hindu, shared with three Muslim families. Their single room, at times a refuge from the religious and territorial tensions pervading the apartment, was also a prison that held them captive—his parents stuck in an unhappy marriage, the author unable to explore the dawning realization he might be gay. At age 20, Suri managed to break free and come to the US, where he finally found the freedom to embrace his sexuality and find a life partner. But the room, which still held his parents hostage, kept wrenching him back to Bombay.
By now real estate prices had risen so much that neighbors had begun conspiring to take over the room, causing Suri’s parents to dig in even more. Eventually it was only his mother, Prem, left, who had staked all her happiness on her son but was unable to escape the room’s hold on her. When a rash of mysterious incidents seemed to beset the room, Suri realized how little time he had left to convince Prem that a happier life might await beyond the four walls that both enthralled and imprisoned her.
This remarkable, gripping memoir explores how an abode can shape destiny, while delving into the difficult question of how much to prioritize our parents’ happiness over our own. Inspired by over 2,700 letters the author wrote home over three decades, it is ultimately a testament to the abiding, unbreakable bond tying a son to his mother.
280 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 21, 2026
About the author
Manil Suri
20 books202 followersManil Suri is a distinguished mathematics professor at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County. Author of three acclaimed novels, including The Death of Vishnu, he is a former contributing opinion writer at the New York Times, for which he has written several widely read pieces on mathematics. He lives in Silver Spring, Maryland.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews
June 25, 2026
Was my dharma to devote myself more fully to my mother , or to spend more time pursuing the goals I’d set up for my own life ?
A Room in Bombay is a deeply moving memoir by Manil Suri that explores the fragile balance between personal ambition and filial duty. Through his life story—growing up in a cramped one-bedroom apartment in Bombay and later building a life abroad—Suri reflects on sexual identity, independence, and the emotional pull of family.
At the heart of the book is his bond with his mother, sustained across distance through an extraordinary exchange of letters that eventually entered the Limca Book of Records. As his mother develops dementia, the memoir becomes increasingly emotional, capturing the author’s quiet struggle between caregiving responsibility and the desire to live freely.
Tender, honest, and often heavy, this memoir is a reflective read about love, guilt, and letting go. It will especially resonate with anyone who has navigated the complexities of caring for ageing parents.
June 15, 2026
3.75*
This was a book about Manil's relationship with his mom more than it was a book about Manil's life. I somehow wish we spent more time with Manil in the room in Bombay, or with Manil as he was grappling with the 'everyone is responsible for their own lives' conundrum he faced as he moved to the US. But it was nevertheless enlightening to learn about his experience growing up sharing a room with both of his parents and an apartment with what sounds like the most obnoxious people to have ever lived. I'm very appreciative that he shared his life in this book, and all i can say is that I found every detail of his early life very interesting.
Overall I think Manil does a good job at presenting and synthesising many key challenges of the life of a homosexual immigrant child of Indian parents, particularly the dilemma of choosing whether to stay or go, the startling culture shock he had as he first went back home after leaving for university, his duty to his parents vs his duty to himself, homosexuality in India class division and the limitations imposed by ones finances, marriages and many aspects of just quotidian life as it used to be for him in Bombay.
This was a book about Manil's relationship with his mom more than it was a book about Manil's life. I somehow wish we spent more time with Manil in the room in Bombay, or with Manil as he was grappling with the 'everyone is responsible for their own lives' conundrum he faced as he moved to the US. But it was nevertheless enlightening to learn about his experience growing up sharing a room with both of his parents and an apartment with what sounds like the most obnoxious people to have ever lived. I'm very appreciative that he shared his life in this book, and all i can say is that I found every detail of his early life very interesting.
Overall I think Manil does a good job at presenting and synthesising many key challenges of the life of a homosexual immigrant child of Indian parents, particularly the dilemma of choosing whether to stay or go, the startling culture shock he had as he first went back home after leaving for university, his duty to his parents vs his duty to himself, homosexuality in India class division and the limitations imposed by ones finances, marriages and many aspects of just quotidian life as it used to be for him in Bombay.
June 24, 2026
the beginning bits i found to be excellent, about the struggle living in his room, moving to the us, balancing duty and responsibility and cultural difference. i especially enjoyed the depiction of his struggle with his sexuality as it relates to his relationship with his parent. however, i found the last half of the quite long and drawn out. as his parent’s health deteriorate i found it a struggle to read the same struggle with no solution over and over and over again with zero new insight. i just wanted it to be over. 5 stars in the beginning 1 star for the ending and 3 overall.
July 17, 2026
I just finished this beautiful, severely heartwarming book and I am simply trying to hold back the incoming tears. A beautiful and unflinchingly honest memoir by Manil Suri that had me captured every step of the way.
“What you love too much is always taken away” - Prem Aunty
More than anything else I think this book is a testament to the love shared between the author, Manil and his Mummy, Prem Suri. While the Room is certainly a central and almost evil protagonist, firm in its hold over the family and all the challenges it brought about, I am simply left admiring the fact that this book has allowed me the opportunity to witness a love so strong, so “unselfish” and yet so complex.
The memoir begins with Manil’s growing years in the cramped room rented by the family within a four bedroom apartment at Razia Mansion where he struggles to find himself, suffocated between the walls of the tiny room, the overwhelming affection of his parents and the realisation of his growing responsibility towards them, not to mention the constant neighbour-wars over common spaces. All while trying to ascertain if his “phase” of liking boys would pass soon, as his Mummy once told him, while explaining the Freudian theory.
We are a witness in this room to the bitterness between his parents - a constant reminder to Manil that he is the sole reason they are still happy, relying on his affection as they receive none from each other. When Manil contemplates the idea of moving abroad, he is weighed down by how they will cope without his presence providing respite. How could he abandon them in that room? But he knew he needed to escape, experience the freedom that allowed him to explore ideas, the freedom that allowed him to build his own life. As did Prem, sad as she was, she wanted him to pursue a greater life abroad.
After he moves to the US, the questions regarding filial responsibility, the meaning of duty, or dharma towards his parents become a recurring theme that is most complicated and can never have a clear answer. Manil began writing detailed letters to his parents, wanting to include them in his daily activities and new experiences, and while it could never replace his presence, his letters were the highlight for his parents. They eagerly awaited each letter, his father made dated notes and Prem carefully collected the entire collection, stacking up to a whopping 2,711 letters since he had left Bombay in 1979. The letters were their primary source of connection and they helped Manil assuage his guilt for abandoning his parents. When their first phone call went wrong as he was too groggy to speak properly, Manil’s Mummy was extremely upset. He replied by writing “I love you” 365 times in the next letter, an apology like a punishment at school, except it's very heartwarming.
He even managed to share his relationship experiences with Mummy through cryptic language as he hadn't come out to his father yet, his Mom expected him to have an adverse reaction. Years later, when Manil did come out to him, he was pleasantly surprised by the quiet acceptance shown by his father and wondered how it would be if he had shared this before. Manil is clearly much closer to his Mummy, who had been wronged by his father, so he wondered if he always looked at him with a bias as he attempts to empathise with him as an individual. Parents are so much more complex to understand when you look at them as individuals in their own right, not just defined by your relationship.
Even Prem's acceptance of Manil's lifestyle had evolved through the years. While she had largely accepted him, she initially got very upset when she saw Manil with another man during a visit to the US. But even though she struggled, she always wished for him to be happy. Years later, when they were at a salon, the question of his non-existent marriage came up and the stylist asked Prem to find a girl for him. She loudly announced to the entire salon - “Girls? He likes boys!” An extremely heartwarming moment that Manil was sure he would use in his book some day, I was so glad to witness it!
While Manil would visit his parents from time to time, he hated the chokehold that the room had over his parents. He had briefly celebrated his escape from the room but soon realised that as long as his parents were stuck there, still fighting with the Jaffers and Rahims for a bit of kitchen space or just some peace, he would never be free of either. The guilt of leading a much better life in the US while his parents were stuck there often ate at him. Prem once told him: “You're lucky. You escaped.”
Somehow, all attempts to relocate them were in vain. Moving to Delhi was rejected by both, buying a flat in Bombay was too expensive and once the idea of selling the room had spawned in their minds, leaving it without getting their rightful due was absolutely out of question. As the years passed, their health deteriorated, eventually leading to the death of Manil’s father. This event has finally “freed” Prem from a loveless marriage, the burden of being stuck a man she had grown to hate.
However, living alone did not go well for Prem and even though Manil did try, she kept rejecting the idea of a permanent move to the US, insisting that she needed the freedom to live alone. Soon, her health began to deteriorate, bringing about harrowing hallucinations and conspiracies all around her - from the neighbours to the cat. No matter how much he wanted her to move to the US, she was bound by the room, dead against the idea of letting it go without getting her rightful dues, especially as she had persevered for years, fighting the pushy neighbours. Finally, a buyer was found and Manil managed to bring Prem to the US. By this time however, Prem’s health was deteriorating and it became difficult for Manil and his partner to care for her.
The question of duty versus pursuing his own life plagued Manil again, the thought of leaving her caused such weighted guilt. He was distraught between his own desires and the kind of life he wanted for himself and Larry and the responsibility towards his mother. Was he a bad son? Was he doing enough? What was the right course of action?
This last portion of the book was extremely difficult to read - as Prem’s health deteriorated and Manil made the extremely difficult decision of moving her back to a care facility in Neral. Manil describes the Hindu concept of duty through the story of Shavan Kumar, the gold standard of a son fulfilling his duty to his parents. Several times he grappled with the tension of this duty and leading his life on his own terms. Could he somehow strike a balance? There were no correct answers and yet a constant, heavy sense of guilt.
He wondered what his mother's life would look like had she possessed the freedoms he was lucky to have, maybe she would explore the world, find love in her life and he wouldn't exist in such a world. Would her life parallel his own in it's discoveries and difficulties and joys?
He visited Prem several times a year (she lit up every time she saw him) and made sure to take her out around her beloved South Bombay each time he visited, as much as her health allowed.
Bombay had been such a central character here, especially for Prem, who was forever obsessed with South Bombay, since her early days at the YMCA. Together they would go on walks by the beach, to her favourite salon and restaurants and melas and cinemas, from the days of his youth till the last years of her life, experiencing Bombay was her haven. She loved taking walks at Breach Candy and Nariman Point and always hating on the suburbs since Prem thought them to be backward (ouch). They often regretted not being able to get a flat in the area early on, they would've escaped the room much faster if that had ever happened. If only.
This narration of course is full of regrets and questions and guilt and yet it is abundant with love, so full of love. As I reached the end of the book and read the letter written by Manil’s Mummy I cried.
“My love means that have the happiness of the world - what I have given and what I give to you is the gift of love so that you can spread it around - pass it on to others (I can't explain properly) but my love is most unselfish. ….
In the end I would say, no one, no mother, no son, no father, no daughter can love like me - I love you more than anybody. But I would say your happiness is my love. You may do wrong or right- I just wouldn't mind- nobody can love them the way I do.”
The bond between Prem and Manil was so heartwarming and heartbreaking to witness. A love so powerful that Manil has struggled to repay, a love he was so fortunate to have received, yet when it ended, somehow liberating. A love that always provided a haven, a home, an understanding that nothing he does could ever vanquish her love.
Prem Suri is such a remarkable woman, I have admired her, grown to care for and empathise with her and have been in complete awe of her. What a privilege it must be for Manil to be loved like this, both a privilege and a burden. Thank you for sharing it with us <3
“What you love too much is always taken away” - Prem Aunty
More than anything else I think this book is a testament to the love shared between the author, Manil and his Mummy, Prem Suri. While the Room is certainly a central and almost evil protagonist, firm in its hold over the family and all the challenges it brought about, I am simply left admiring the fact that this book has allowed me the opportunity to witness a love so strong, so “unselfish” and yet so complex.
The memoir begins with Manil’s growing years in the cramped room rented by the family within a four bedroom apartment at Razia Mansion where he struggles to find himself, suffocated between the walls of the tiny room, the overwhelming affection of his parents and the realisation of his growing responsibility towards them, not to mention the constant neighbour-wars over common spaces. All while trying to ascertain if his “phase” of liking boys would pass soon, as his Mummy once told him, while explaining the Freudian theory.
We are a witness in this room to the bitterness between his parents - a constant reminder to Manil that he is the sole reason they are still happy, relying on his affection as they receive none from each other. When Manil contemplates the idea of moving abroad, he is weighed down by how they will cope without his presence providing respite. How could he abandon them in that room? But he knew he needed to escape, experience the freedom that allowed him to explore ideas, the freedom that allowed him to build his own life. As did Prem, sad as she was, she wanted him to pursue a greater life abroad.
After he moves to the US, the questions regarding filial responsibility, the meaning of duty, or dharma towards his parents become a recurring theme that is most complicated and can never have a clear answer. Manil began writing detailed letters to his parents, wanting to include them in his daily activities and new experiences, and while it could never replace his presence, his letters were the highlight for his parents. They eagerly awaited each letter, his father made dated notes and Prem carefully collected the entire collection, stacking up to a whopping 2,711 letters since he had left Bombay in 1979. The letters were their primary source of connection and they helped Manil assuage his guilt for abandoning his parents. When their first phone call went wrong as he was too groggy to speak properly, Manil’s Mummy was extremely upset. He replied by writing “I love you” 365 times in the next letter, an apology like a punishment at school, except it's very heartwarming.
He even managed to share his relationship experiences with Mummy through cryptic language as he hadn't come out to his father yet, his Mom expected him to have an adverse reaction. Years later, when Manil did come out to him, he was pleasantly surprised by the quiet acceptance shown by his father and wondered how it would be if he had shared this before. Manil is clearly much closer to his Mummy, who had been wronged by his father, so he wondered if he always looked at him with a bias as he attempts to empathise with him as an individual. Parents are so much more complex to understand when you look at them as individuals in their own right, not just defined by your relationship.
Even Prem's acceptance of Manil's lifestyle had evolved through the years. While she had largely accepted him, she initially got very upset when she saw Manil with another man during a visit to the US. But even though she struggled, she always wished for him to be happy. Years later, when they were at a salon, the question of his non-existent marriage came up and the stylist asked Prem to find a girl for him. She loudly announced to the entire salon - “Girls? He likes boys!” An extremely heartwarming moment that Manil was sure he would use in his book some day, I was so glad to witness it!
While Manil would visit his parents from time to time, he hated the chokehold that the room had over his parents. He had briefly celebrated his escape from the room but soon realised that as long as his parents were stuck there, still fighting with the Jaffers and Rahims for a bit of kitchen space or just some peace, he would never be free of either. The guilt of leading a much better life in the US while his parents were stuck there often ate at him. Prem once told him: “You're lucky. You escaped.”
Somehow, all attempts to relocate them were in vain. Moving to Delhi was rejected by both, buying a flat in Bombay was too expensive and once the idea of selling the room had spawned in their minds, leaving it without getting their rightful due was absolutely out of question. As the years passed, their health deteriorated, eventually leading to the death of Manil’s father. This event has finally “freed” Prem from a loveless marriage, the burden of being stuck a man she had grown to hate.
However, living alone did not go well for Prem and even though Manil did try, she kept rejecting the idea of a permanent move to the US, insisting that she needed the freedom to live alone. Soon, her health began to deteriorate, bringing about harrowing hallucinations and conspiracies all around her - from the neighbours to the cat. No matter how much he wanted her to move to the US, she was bound by the room, dead against the idea of letting it go without getting her rightful dues, especially as she had persevered for years, fighting the pushy neighbours. Finally, a buyer was found and Manil managed to bring Prem to the US. By this time however, Prem’s health was deteriorating and it became difficult for Manil and his partner to care for her.
The question of duty versus pursuing his own life plagued Manil again, the thought of leaving her caused such weighted guilt. He was distraught between his own desires and the kind of life he wanted for himself and Larry and the responsibility towards his mother. Was he a bad son? Was he doing enough? What was the right course of action?
This last portion of the book was extremely difficult to read - as Prem’s health deteriorated and Manil made the extremely difficult decision of moving her back to a care facility in Neral. Manil describes the Hindu concept of duty through the story of Shavan Kumar, the gold standard of a son fulfilling his duty to his parents. Several times he grappled with the tension of this duty and leading his life on his own terms. Could he somehow strike a balance? There were no correct answers and yet a constant, heavy sense of guilt.
He wondered what his mother's life would look like had she possessed the freedoms he was lucky to have, maybe she would explore the world, find love in her life and he wouldn't exist in such a world. Would her life parallel his own in it's discoveries and difficulties and joys?
He visited Prem several times a year (she lit up every time she saw him) and made sure to take her out around her beloved South Bombay each time he visited, as much as her health allowed.
Bombay had been such a central character here, especially for Prem, who was forever obsessed with South Bombay, since her early days at the YMCA. Together they would go on walks by the beach, to her favourite salon and restaurants and melas and cinemas, from the days of his youth till the last years of her life, experiencing Bombay was her haven. She loved taking walks at Breach Candy and Nariman Point and always hating on the suburbs since Prem thought them to be backward (ouch). They often regretted not being able to get a flat in the area early on, they would've escaped the room much faster if that had ever happened. If only.
This narration of course is full of regrets and questions and guilt and yet it is abundant with love, so full of love. As I reached the end of the book and read the letter written by Manil’s Mummy I cried.
“My love means that have the happiness of the world - what I have given and what I give to you is the gift of love so that you can spread it around - pass it on to others (I can't explain properly) but my love is most unselfish. ….
In the end I would say, no one, no mother, no son, no father, no daughter can love like me - I love you more than anybody. But I would say your happiness is my love. You may do wrong or right- I just wouldn't mind- nobody can love them the way I do.”
The bond between Prem and Manil was so heartwarming and heartbreaking to witness. A love so powerful that Manil has struggled to repay, a love he was so fortunate to have received, yet when it ended, somehow liberating. A love that always provided a haven, a home, an understanding that nothing he does could ever vanquish her love.
Prem Suri is such a remarkable woman, I have admired her, grown to care for and empathise with her and have been in complete awe of her. What a privilege it must be for Manil to be loved like this, both a privilege and a burden. Thank you for sharing it with us <3
Want to Read
July 10, 2026YES: A book I borrowed from the library to try before I buy (tired buying hundreds books and hating half)
I read first ch or more -first 10-100 pages skim around at times. I read many of my GR friend's reviews. This is what I did and didn't like:
Love this cover and nice paper.
A bestselling Indian American writer’s memoir about growing up in an apt in Bombay whose parents were Hindu shared w three other Muslim families. His parents were in an unhappy marriage and Manil thinks he might be gay so at 20 he breaks free & moves to the US where he finds freedom to be homosexual.
I started to read this and it’s very vivid and well written. This is often not the case w memoirs. It feels real to me. I feel like I’m in Bombay with him. A very interesting book.
Amazon $21.34 (29% off)
I read first ch or more -first 10-100 pages skim around at times. I read many of my GR friend's reviews. This is what I did and didn't like:
Love this cover and nice paper.
A bestselling Indian American writer’s memoir about growing up in an apt in Bombay whose parents were Hindu shared w three other Muslim families. His parents were in an unhappy marriage and Manil thinks he might be gay so at 20 he breaks free & moves to the US where he finds freedom to be homosexual.
I started to read this and it’s very vivid and well written. This is often not the case w memoirs. It feels real to me. I feel like I’m in Bombay with him. A very interesting book.
Amazon $21.34 (29% off)
May 25, 2026
Memoirs are revealing and must take courage to write, sharing one’s life with strangers. Duty and love intertwine here with love the seemingly stronger branch. The descriptions of life in India—including people, places, things, and feelings—is quite vivid. The descriptions of picking up a new life in the States is less vivid, but still clear. A moving read.
May 5, 2026
An excellent memoir.
May 1, 2026
I very much enjoyed reading this book. Manil is a friend and fellow mathematician. It was quite interesting getting to know a lot of new aspects of his life through this memoir. Even without knowing him personally, it would be a great read, focused on balancing life between two very different cultures, and trying to fulfill the familial duties at a distance.
July 5, 2026
A lovely companion memoir to Mother Mary Comes to Me.
I loved the exploration of his bond with his parents in relationship to space.
I loved the exploration of his bond with his parents in relationship to space.
June 13, 2026
A beautiful, honest memoir - written with such honesty yet lending enough grace and dignity to the complex family dynamics, the dilemmas, the fatigue and the unconditional love.
Anyone who has lived in Mumbai might just connect a bit more. Recommended read.
Anyone who has lived in Mumbai might just connect a bit more. Recommended read.
June 15, 2026
A Room in Bombay is a well-written memoir with vivid descriptions and honest storytelling. Manil Suri paints a detailed picture of his childhood, family dynamics, and life in Bombay, and there is no denying the care and authenticity with which the story is told.
That said, I found myself a little disconnected from the narrative. One challenge with memoirs is that they often resonate more deeply when you’re already familiar with the author or have a strong reason to be invested in their life story. Since I didn’t know much about Manil Suri beforehand, some parts felt less engaging and occasionally slow-paced for me.
The book is insightful and thoughtfully written, but it didn’t fully hold my attention throughout.
Overall, a decent read—informative and sincere, but not one that left a lasting impression on me.
April 26, 2026
Being an only child, an Indian son, homosexual, and the child of Hindu parents stuck in a loveless marriage, Manil Suri faced challenges.
In his memoir, A ROOM IN BOMBAY, Suri talks about his life and how it unspooled in Bombay, then stretched across the world from a Pittsburgh university to one in Maryland, with trips and vacations to New York City, London, Paris, California and Delhi. He meets the challenges of his life, crashes and burns a few times, has a loving partner, and learns that he can never quite leave home.
Home was an apartment in Razia Mansion, where Suri’s father, Ram, and his mother, Prem, moved in 1958. He was born a few months later, and they were a tight unit. They shared the apartment with three other families (all Muslims), and the many quarrels and arguments involved the refrigerator, marking floor territory, using and cleaning the toilets, and verbal spats among their visitors. Suri had shame for their situation but also was extraordinarily loyal to his parents. The machinations of maintaining this room were complex. It was ramshackle and needed repair, yet they were all bound to it. It was home.
Suri’s growing understanding and acceptance of his homosexuality is quite naturally a huge focus of his adolescence and early manhood. Prem, affectionately called Mammy, is able to somewhat comprehend what his choices meant because she read and had gotten an education, but Ram did not. It seems that Suri has a single regret about his father’s death --- that he did not speak openly with him and answer questions.
Suri returns again and again to Bombay during the 11 years after Ram’s passing. He moves Prem to America to live with him, but then she goes back to India. He visits her and the extended family, and he sees changes in Bombay, Delhi and the surrounding areas. Amidst the uncertainty of Prem’s declining health, he is steadfast in his commitment to her, finding solutions and new paths for her contentment. However, she does not always take them. During a final airplane trip to Bombay, Suri reflects on the “what-ifs” of her life. Her choices gave him life, but would her hypothetical choices have paralleled his? He does not know.
The obligations of an Indian son to his parents are immense. Social interactions, Bollywood plots, cultural and religious norms, and fables from Ramayana are all reminders of filial duty that exemplar sons are meant to achieve. After his move to America, Suri learned the precept that “everyone’s responsible for their own life,” which sounded liberating and promising. But it was not so easy to abandon his parents.
The memories of card games sitting on the edge of the single bed, the joy he recalls in his parents' faces on the balcony as he would return home from school, their shoulders lifting as they recognized him in the crowd --- Suri’s life felt bound to them and to the room in Bombay. He thought he needed to repay the “surging, overpowering, all-engulfing love” from his childhood. He was supportive and generous beyond measure, and he needed that responsibility to come to an honorable close.
In an effort to make the distance between himself and his parents more bearable, Suri writes letters --- more than 2,700 of them, all addressed to Prem. They show the richness, honesty and humor of his life. You will remember A ROOM IN BOMBAY long after you put it down as you consider your own understanding of home.
Reviewed by Jane T. Krebs
In his memoir, A ROOM IN BOMBAY, Suri talks about his life and how it unspooled in Bombay, then stretched across the world from a Pittsburgh university to one in Maryland, with trips and vacations to New York City, London, Paris, California and Delhi. He meets the challenges of his life, crashes and burns a few times, has a loving partner, and learns that he can never quite leave home.
Home was an apartment in Razia Mansion, where Suri’s father, Ram, and his mother, Prem, moved in 1958. He was born a few months later, and they were a tight unit. They shared the apartment with three other families (all Muslims), and the many quarrels and arguments involved the refrigerator, marking floor territory, using and cleaning the toilets, and verbal spats among their visitors. Suri had shame for their situation but also was extraordinarily loyal to his parents. The machinations of maintaining this room were complex. It was ramshackle and needed repair, yet they were all bound to it. It was home.
Suri’s growing understanding and acceptance of his homosexuality is quite naturally a huge focus of his adolescence and early manhood. Prem, affectionately called Mammy, is able to somewhat comprehend what his choices meant because she read and had gotten an education, but Ram did not. It seems that Suri has a single regret about his father’s death --- that he did not speak openly with him and answer questions.
Suri returns again and again to Bombay during the 11 years after Ram’s passing. He moves Prem to America to live with him, but then she goes back to India. He visits her and the extended family, and he sees changes in Bombay, Delhi and the surrounding areas. Amidst the uncertainty of Prem’s declining health, he is steadfast in his commitment to her, finding solutions and new paths for her contentment. However, she does not always take them. During a final airplane trip to Bombay, Suri reflects on the “what-ifs” of her life. Her choices gave him life, but would her hypothetical choices have paralleled his? He does not know.
The obligations of an Indian son to his parents are immense. Social interactions, Bollywood plots, cultural and religious norms, and fables from Ramayana are all reminders of filial duty that exemplar sons are meant to achieve. After his move to America, Suri learned the precept that “everyone’s responsible for their own life,” which sounded liberating and promising. But it was not so easy to abandon his parents.
The memories of card games sitting on the edge of the single bed, the joy he recalls in his parents' faces on the balcony as he would return home from school, their shoulders lifting as they recognized him in the crowd --- Suri’s life felt bound to them and to the room in Bombay. He thought he needed to repay the “surging, overpowering, all-engulfing love” from his childhood. He was supportive and generous beyond measure, and he needed that responsibility to come to an honorable close.
In an effort to make the distance between himself and his parents more bearable, Suri writes letters --- more than 2,700 of them, all addressed to Prem. They show the richness, honesty and humor of his life. You will remember A ROOM IN BOMBAY long after you put it down as you consider your own understanding of home.
Reviewed by Jane T. Krebs
June 30, 2026
Manil Suri’s memoir traces his journey from a single room in Bombay to a life in America—earning a PhD, coming out as gay, and navigating adulthood while remaining tethered to the room and its two central figures: his mother and father. It’s a story of physical escape and emotional return, of leaving home and never quite leaving it behind.
What I found most compelling was Suri’s restraint. The memoir is largely non‑dramatic, even when describing the quarrels, compromises, and claustrophobia of living in a single room in Bombay. As an immigrant myself, his reflections on early cultural shocks in America—newfound freedom, the ability to express oneself fully, the disorienting openness of American life—felt especially resonant. Those sections capture the emotional vertigo of migration better than many immigrant memoirs I’ve read.
One of the book’s most charming threads is its epistolary nature. Growing up in the pre‑WhatsApp era, Suri communicates with his mother through long, detailed letters, almost over‑describing his American life as a way of compensating for the experiences she cannot share. These letters become a lifeline, a way of keeping the room alive across continents.
Where the memoir falters is in the latter half. The extended focus on attempts to sell the room—anthropomorphized into a character—slows the narrative. Trim fifty or sixty pages and the book becomes tighter, more fluid, more emotionally concentrated.
Compared to other works that explore filial love, loss, and the fragility of family—On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous, When Breath Becomes Air, or even The Paper Menagerie—Suri’s memoir doesn’t deliver the same emotional force. But it does offer a sensitive, textured portrait of a mother–son relationship, rendered with affection, eccentricity, and cultural specificity. It may not make you cry, but it certainly makes you care.
A thoughtful, quietly affecting memoir—especially for readers familiar with India or with the immigrant experience.
What I found most compelling was Suri’s restraint. The memoir is largely non‑dramatic, even when describing the quarrels, compromises, and claustrophobia of living in a single room in Bombay. As an immigrant myself, his reflections on early cultural shocks in America—newfound freedom, the ability to express oneself fully, the disorienting openness of American life—felt especially resonant. Those sections capture the emotional vertigo of migration better than many immigrant memoirs I’ve read.
One of the book’s most charming threads is its epistolary nature. Growing up in the pre‑WhatsApp era, Suri communicates with his mother through long, detailed letters, almost over‑describing his American life as a way of compensating for the experiences she cannot share. These letters become a lifeline, a way of keeping the room alive across continents.
Where the memoir falters is in the latter half. The extended focus on attempts to sell the room—anthropomorphized into a character—slows the narrative. Trim fifty or sixty pages and the book becomes tighter, more fluid, more emotionally concentrated.
Compared to other works that explore filial love, loss, and the fragility of family—On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous, When Breath Becomes Air, or even The Paper Menagerie—Suri’s memoir doesn’t deliver the same emotional force. But it does offer a sensitive, textured portrait of a mother–son relationship, rendered with affection, eccentricity, and cultural specificity. It may not make you cry, but it certainly makes you care.
A thoughtful, quietly affecting memoir—especially for readers familiar with India or with the immigrant experience.
July 30, 2026
Growing up an only child, in a single room apartment in the Bombay of the seventies, sharing toilets and kitchen with three other families, is enough to make one want to escape it all. Suri's memoir is about that escape. Reading it, you get a visceral feeling of claustrophobia...as he struggles to escape not just the room his parents refuse to leave, but also the stifling love of his mother who wants him to lead the life she never could. It's a hard-hitting book, describing deep but complicated relationships and also the difficulty of being gay in a society that doesn't accept it. At the center of the book stands Prem, Suri's mother, a complex character, strong and independent, yet bitter about her marriage and her failure to achieve her own ambitions. She sees her salvation in her son, and as he chases his future in gay-friendly American academia, and as she ages into dementia, that mother-son bond is tested to its limits.
Parts of this book are very difficult to read, especially the ones where Suri confronts life choices as Prem deteriorates mentally - how best can he balance his need to live his own life and her need for care, when does love become just duty, and when does prolonging a life become destructive to the quality of it.
Suri is honest to a fault, and while it doesn't make for a comfortable read, his book is an important one. Life is never easy...and good memoirs remind us of that.
Parts of this book are very difficult to read, especially the ones where Suri confronts life choices as Prem deteriorates mentally - how best can he balance his need to live his own life and her need for care, when does love become just duty, and when does prolonging a life become destructive to the quality of it.
Suri is honest to a fault, and while it doesn't make for a comfortable read, his book is an important one. Life is never easy...and good memoirs remind us of that.
June 30, 2026
This popped onto my TBR because of a GoodReads challenge (Spring2026/AAPI Heritage). There was enough LGTBQ content that I was a little surprised it wasn't also on the PridePicks section.
Normally I dislike when the Prologue is a futuristic peek (spoiler), but here, it actually really worked. The author, in 2016 (past a point we come on in the book) coming back to Bombay and passing "the room" he and his family lived in, some thoughts about it, which lead into the story of the room (more the story of his/his parents lives).
In five sections, with numerical chapters (32 of them) running throughout.
The Room
The Quest
Til Death Do Us Part
Escape
A House for Mrs. Suri
This was an interesting and eye-opening memoir, always making me grateful for my easy life here in the US. The author is a writer (other books, so many letters to his mother) and some of that record provided material for this memoir. Words I noted: palimpsest, preternatural, cacophony, Carnegie.
The author's sexual struggle was a little reminiscent of my recent read DevOUT (which was in the GR Pride Picks challenge). I was a little surprised being gay wasn't as big of an issue, given the culture and the time period.
ProFanity x2 ... told in 1st person, all from the author's POV. Past tense for the book, with the prologue in present tense.
Borrowed the audio and Kindle copy on Libby.
Normally I dislike when the Prologue is a futuristic peek (spoiler), but here, it actually really worked. The author, in 2016 (past a point we come on in the book) coming back to Bombay and passing "the room" he and his family lived in, some thoughts about it, which lead into the story of the room (more the story of his/his parents lives).
In five sections, with numerical chapters (32 of them) running throughout.
The Room
The Quest
Til Death Do Us Part
Escape
A House for Mrs. Suri
This was an interesting and eye-opening memoir, always making me grateful for my easy life here in the US. The author is a writer (other books, so many letters to his mother) and some of that record provided material for this memoir. Words I noted: palimpsest, preternatural, cacophony, Carnegie.
The author's sexual struggle was a little reminiscent of my recent read DevOUT (which was in the GR Pride Picks challenge). I was a little surprised being gay wasn't as big of an issue, given the culture and the time period.
ProFanity x2 ... told in 1st person, all from the author's POV. Past tense for the book, with the prologue in present tense.
Borrowed the audio and Kindle copy on Libby.
July 1, 2026
Starts slow, but becomes compelling when you begin to realize what the "room" really is: the entire home for the family of three, in just one-fourth of a 2600 square foot floor of a multi-story building, with a space in the room for bathing but no toilet. There were two open hole-in-the floor toilets down a common corridor, the usual open hole-in-the- floor-type of toilet, shared among the four families who also occupied the four "rooms." In addition to sharing the two toilets, residents also shared a communal kitchen space. My American horror of sharing toilets with anyone outside my family recoiled at this uncivilized arrangement, but in 1970s Bombay, these quarters seemed entirely suitable for a college-educated social worker/teacher, her musician husband, and their one child--for 47 years! As the one son grows up and begins to claim a life of his own, the one thing that stands out is the over-arching love of the parents for their son, even though they, the parents, experience almost nothing of the marital love that in the beginning that created their beloved son. If you have loved the literature, the movies, the food, the history of India, this memoir will add new dimension and detail to your understanding of Indian culture in the late 20th century, as the author left India for an academic life in America.
June 10, 2026
A Room in Bombay: A Memoir by Manil Suri is a thoughtful and deeply personal account of identity, family, and self-discovery. Through memories of his childhood and youth in Bombay, Suri reflects on growing up in a traditional Indian household, his love for the city that shaped him, and his journey toward understanding and accepting his sexuality.
What makes the memoir particularly compelling is the author's honesty and sensitivity. He writes with warmth about his family and vividly captures the atmosphere of Bombay, bringing its streets, homes, and social dynamics to life. His reflections on belonging, migration, and cultural expectations are both intimate and universal, making the book relatable even to readers whose experiences differ greatly from his own.
Suri's prose is elegant and reflective, balancing personal anecdotes with deeper insights into identity, love, and the search for acceptance. The memoir offers a nuanced portrait of life between cultures and the challenges of staying true to oneself while navigating family and societal expectations.
A moving and insightful read, A Room in Bombay is recommended for anyone interested in memoirs, LGBTQ+ narratives, and stories that explore the complex relationship between place, identity, and personal growth.
What makes the memoir particularly compelling is the author's honesty and sensitivity. He writes with warmth about his family and vividly captures the atmosphere of Bombay, bringing its streets, homes, and social dynamics to life. His reflections on belonging, migration, and cultural expectations are both intimate and universal, making the book relatable even to readers whose experiences differ greatly from his own.
Suri's prose is elegant and reflective, balancing personal anecdotes with deeper insights into identity, love, and the search for acceptance. The memoir offers a nuanced portrait of life between cultures and the challenges of staying true to oneself while navigating family and societal expectations.
A moving and insightful read, A Room in Bombay is recommended for anyone interested in memoirs, LGBTQ+ narratives, and stories that explore the complex relationship between place, identity, and personal growth.
May 23, 2026
A ROOM BIG ENOUGH FOR LOVE -- Imagine being holed up in a 400 square foot one-room apartment for twenty years. That was Manil Suri until he fled Bombay for the U.S., where he found enough space and freedom to grow and be himself. A gay mathematician, with a gift for writing. If the room in Bombay confined Suri, it confined and defined his parents even more. Because they shared a kitchen and a couple restrooms with three other households, the Suris often found themselves at odds with their scheming neighbors and a mischievous white cat. Nevertheless, there was plenty of love in those 400 square feet. This book is a love letter to Suri's late mother, Prem, who was funny, outrageous, a complainer, a martyr, a booster, a critic. Suri writes with affection and a wry wit, deftly chronicling trials and tribulations. This book will definitely make you laugh and it may make you cry. A mother's love can be suffocating but it sure beats the alternative. Suri is a gifted storyteller whose punch-lines are both funny and profound. A delight to read!
Review of advance copy received from Goodreads Giveaways
An interesting memoir that calls to mind what we owe our parents throughout our lives, especially as they age and become infirm in body and mind. This was fascinating in terms of showing Indian culture and ways of life that are taken for granted there, versus America. But I didn't feel it was written in a way that made me especially understand the writer or his mother in depth - it felt emotionally subdued (which may also be a cultural difference that makes it tough for this American to fully empathize). I thought the strongest part of the book was toward the end, as mom is descending into dementia. Very scary, sad, and relatable. Won in a Goodreads giveaway - thanks, Goodreads!
June 30, 2026
I made the mistake in overlooking the clue in the title. From the book jacket I settled in for a story about the author's journey from the room in Bombay to living an open life in the US, but in reality little attention is given to the author's US journey which feels more like an abstract footnote in the memoir. The book feels more like a biography of the author's mother who attachment to that room in Bombay shapes her life. With the indirect point of view for much of the events coming to the author through stories, letters and word of mouth, the memoir lacks depth to give the events the detail to bring her story to life.
July 12, 2026
I was really captivated by Manil’s story. I’m noting that I don’t feel very critical of memoirs because they’re someone’s life, but I must say that I thought it was really well written. I kept waiting for rejection to come from his parents but it never did and while there were uncomfortable moments between them, the love Manil and his mother have is so comforting. I can’t believe they set a record with their letters. It almost made me want to cry. I’m sorry he didn’t get to speak more candidly with his father. That relationship really intrigued me toward the end and I wonder what secrets were laid to rest with his father. With that being said, I enjoyed this memoir.
July 8, 2026
Some books stay with you long after you’ve turned the last page. A Room in Bombay is one of them.
Manil Suri writes with extraordinary tenderness, finding profound meaning in life’s smallest moments. His journey through Bombay, America, and, above all, his evolving relationship with his parents touched something deep within me. It is the first book that has ever made me cry—and left behind a quiet ache that still lingers.
Having loved The Death of Vishnu and The City of Devi, I can only say this memoir reaffirms what I already believed: Manil Suri is among the finest storytellers of our time.
Manil Suri writes with extraordinary tenderness, finding profound meaning in life’s smallest moments. His journey through Bombay, America, and, above all, his evolving relationship with his parents touched something deep within me. It is the first book that has ever made me cry—and left behind a quiet ache that still lingers.
Having loved The Death of Vishnu and The City of Devi, I can only say this memoir reaffirms what I already believed: Manil Suri is among the finest storytellers of our time.
June 18, 2026
5/5. The prose is so beautiful and easy to follow. Although the book is centered around the room Manil grew up in, this is mainly a love letter from the son to his mother for her love and sacrifice. It conveys the complexity of family dynamic in South Asian families while highlighting the tension amongst the neighbors paralleled to the country's politics. I can't wait to read his debut novel and dive deeper in the culture of my neighbors to the west.
June 22, 2026
Manil Suri describes growing up in his family apartment among toxic neighbors and a home in shambles. His parents are stuck in the room for years and years with a fear of moving for so many reasons. This story is also so much about Manil's love and support for his mother until her death. It is very honest and poignant with excellent descriptions of difficult situations. You also learn a lot about Indian culture.
May 5, 2026
I was sobbing in my car as I listened to the end of this book. This was a raw and honest memoir. I felt the love he had for his mother even as I thought he was selfish and could have done more for her towards the end. This was a joy to read.
June 24, 2026
3.5 ⭐️
I bought this memoir in Mumbai, after travelling there from New Delhi. The read was most fun at first because I recognized the cities and landmarks he mentions. Then as the story progressed I enjoyed this peek into his life: a story of cultural duty, freedom and love. I would recommend.
I bought this memoir in Mumbai, after travelling there from New Delhi. The read was most fun at first because I recognized the cities and landmarks he mentions. Then as the story progressed I enjoyed this peek into his life: a story of cultural duty, freedom and love. I would recommend.
Review of advance copy
Very rarely reading a book written by an international student. Got me thinking a lot about my own parents who live away and my duties/responsibilities.
May 3, 2026
Sorrow permeates every aspect of his life: past, present, and even future.
June 5, 2026
An autobiography, primarily dedicated to the author's mother and his long-term care for her. A vivid description of her living in one room in an old building in Bombay for more than fifty years.
June 6, 2026
This audiobook says not expected until June 12th, 2026; but I downloaded it from our library Libby the end of May, 2026.
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