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Christmas on Crack
Perverted Christmas Tales for the whole family!* * As long as every member of your family is over the age of 18 It's a dark and seedy side of Christmas that you didn't know about. A Christmas underworld where Santa gets dominated by peppermint women and Frosty is a transvestite stripper. There's elf sluts, toy orgies, and giant flesh-eating Christmas crabs that shoot lasers. That's right. Lasers. It's the holiday season, bitches, so strap on your sugar plum ball gag, bend yourself over the Yule log, and get ready for Kris Kringle to shove some Christmas cheer up your ass! Featuring stories by Jordan Krall, Jeff Burk, Kevin L. Donihe, Cameron Pierce, Kirsten Alene, Kevin Shamel, Edmund Colell, and Andrew Goldfarb.
168 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 1, 2010
13 people are currently reading
274 people want to read
About the author
Carlton Mellick III
119 books2,172 followersCarlton Mellick III (July 2, 1977, Phoenix, Arizona) is an American author currently residing in Portland, Oregon. He calls his style of writing "avant-punk," and is currently one of the leading authors in the recent 'Bizarro' movement in underground literature[citation needed] with Steve Aylett, Chris Genoa and D. Harlan Wilson.
Mellick's work has been described as a combination of trashy schlock sci-fi/horror and postmodern literary art. His novels explore surreal versions of earth in contemporary society and imagined futures, commonly focusing on social absurdities and satire.
Carlton Mellick III started writing at the age of ten and completed twelve novels by the age of eighteen. Only one of these early novels, "Electric Jesus Corpse", ever made it to print.
He is best known for his first novel Satan Burger and its sequel Punk Land. Satan Burger was translated into Russian and published by Ultra Culture in 2005. It was part of a four book series called Brave New World, which also featured Virtual Light by William Gibson, City Come A Walkin by John Shirley, and Tea from an Empty Cup by Pat Cadigan.
In the late 90's, he formed a collective for offbeat authors which included D. Harlan Wilson, Kevin L. Donihe, Vincent Sakowski, among others, and the publishing company Eraserhead Press. This scene evolved into the Bizarro fiction movement in 2005.
In addition to writing, Mellick is an artist and musician.
Mellick's work has been described as a combination of trashy schlock sci-fi/horror and postmodern literary art. His novels explore surreal versions of earth in contemporary society and imagined futures, commonly focusing on social absurdities and satire.
Carlton Mellick III started writing at the age of ten and completed twelve novels by the age of eighteen. Only one of these early novels, "Electric Jesus Corpse", ever made it to print.
He is best known for his first novel Satan Burger and its sequel Punk Land. Satan Burger was translated into Russian and published by Ultra Culture in 2005. It was part of a four book series called Brave New World, which also featured Virtual Light by William Gibson, City Come A Walkin by John Shirley, and Tea from an Empty Cup by Pat Cadigan.
In the late 90's, he formed a collective for offbeat authors which included D. Harlan Wilson, Kevin L. Donihe, Vincent Sakowski, among others, and the publishing company Eraserhead Press. This scene evolved into the Bizarro fiction movement in 2005.
In addition to writing, Mellick is an artist and musician.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews
December 17, 2015
Ummmm....I'm stumped right now
At a loss for words
At a loss for words
December 16, 2013
Why, Santa...is that a candy cane in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?
In this book, it doesn't really matter what's in Santa's pants, 'cause believe me, he's GONNA use it on you!
Since you'll be too sore to move, you might as well read up on a certain snowman with a yen for those frosty flakes of meth. (Better call Saul!)
You'll learn why the next Santa Claus may have tentacles and have a surprisingly intimate encounter with Father Christmas.
Read an oddly titillating story about horny batteries and meet two naughty elf sisters who compete to be the one Santa unwraps.
And it's a Christmas to remember when everyone gets crabs...nasty, laser-shooting, take-over-the-world crabs.
Now let's do some (North) pole dancing, and pray that the sugar plum fairy leaves us alone this Christmas. You don't even want to know what he's got under his tutu.
In this book, it doesn't really matter what's in Santa's pants, 'cause believe me, he's GONNA use it on you!
Since you'll be too sore to move, you might as well read up on a certain snowman with a yen for those frosty flakes of meth. (Better call Saul!)
You'll learn why the next Santa Claus may have tentacles and have a surprisingly intimate encounter with Father Christmas.
Read an oddly titillating story about horny batteries and meet two naughty elf sisters who compete to be the one Santa unwraps.
And it's a Christmas to remember when everyone gets crabs...nasty, laser-shooting, take-over-the-world crabs.
Now let's do some (North) pole dancing, and pray that the sugar plum fairy leaves us alone this Christmas. You don't even want to know what he's got under his tutu.
December 15, 2015
HO HO HO-ly crap...what did I read?!? :D
Review to come!
Review to come!
December 19, 2021
CHRISTMAS ON CRACK is a quick anthology of short stories that will make you spit your eggnog all over the place! These stories are from a variety of authors (not by CM3 like I thought - I misread this going in, but that's no big deal) and they all have perverse takes on Christmas icons and classics. Elves, snowmen, Santa, batteries, etc, you name it! If there is something you love about Christmas then just prepare for your world to be rocked and your life ruined over this book. It's sexy, hilarious, and outrageous and some of these authors are definitely going to be read more in my future. Fun and quick, this is a great little bizarro collection that you don't want to miss!
November 8, 2025
The only thing getting stuffed this year is... well, everything
March 9, 2025
Cute 😊
My favorites were "Santa Claus and Elves of fuck", "Frosty and the Full Monty", "Two-Way Santa" and "The Elf Slut Sisters".
My favorites were "Santa Claus and Elves of fuck", "Frosty and the Full Monty", "Two-Way Santa" and "The Elf Slut Sisters".
January 7, 2019
As with most short story books, some good, some bad, and some just naughty hehe. Overall a very enjoyable read. Very quick but fun. Not they type of book to read in front of children, especially those who like to ask questions ha.
December 1, 2022
Vskutku nevsedni zazitek pouze pro Dost silne zaludky! Pracovnici pohrebni sluzby, patologove , nejruznejsi devianti mezi nami si pripisou hvezdicku navic ;-)
July 13, 2015
Rudy poured a hot chocolate and rum from the bar for everyone. He looked adoringly a his bedraggled family.
"Merry Christmas," he told them.
They raised their mug in a toast.
this book is quite possibly the most aptly named book of all time. every story in this book was bizarre as fuck, and some of them were actually pretty disgusting. i'm not very easy to gross out, especially since i've been on a seemingly endless binge of everything mellick has written, but... some of these stories made me feel literally, physically uncomfortable. my skin got all itchy and my teeth felt all weird and part of me loved it but other parts of me fucking hated it. in other words, it was perfect, exactly what it set out to be.
i'm probably going to spend from now until next christmas wishing that i could unread the elf slut sisters. between bestiality and disturbing dick imagery, this is something that literally. grossed. me. out. i've still got a little bit of an uncomfortable feeling lingering around that i can only describe as the heeby jeebies. yuck. this was so important that it had to be outside of the spoilers tag.
overall, i loved this, even if it was absolutely insane. i'm glad it was the first full book i read on my brand new kindle. i just wish i hadn't stumbled over it on the day after christmas.
"Merry Christmas," he told them.
They raised their mug in a toast.
this book is quite possibly the most aptly named book of all time. every story in this book was bizarre as fuck, and some of them were actually pretty disgusting. i'm not very easy to gross out, especially since i've been on a seemingly endless binge of everything mellick has written, but... some of these stories made me feel literally, physically uncomfortable. my skin got all itchy and my teeth felt all weird and part of me loved it but other parts of me fucking hated it. in other words, it was perfect, exactly what it set out to be.
i'm probably going to spend from now until next christmas wishing that i could unread the elf slut sisters. between bestiality and disturbing dick imagery, this is something that literally. grossed. me. out. i've still got a little bit of an uncomfortable feeling lingering around that i can only describe as the heeby jeebies. yuck. this was so important that it had to be outside of the spoilers tag.
overall, i loved this, even if it was absolutely insane. i'm glad it was the first full book i read on my brand new kindle. i just wish i hadn't stumbled over it on the day after christmas.
March 15, 2023
THE ELF-SLUT SISTERS is positively too silly - unironically worth your time.
December 30, 2022
Overall a great bizarro christmas collection. That said, if you love christmas, hallmark channel movies or Santa Claus, you will find this book borderline blasphemous.
My only gripe with this book is that some of the stories seem to be leading to a gran satire on christmas itself, sometimes with our personal obsession with it, or with the insane consumerism of the season. Yet, it seems like when that subtext is about to hit, it suddenly stops, it is not that the stories are inconclusive, it is just that some of them are in need of an epilogue to ground them and to really stay with you beyond the grossness and bizarre antics.
My favorites of this collection
-The Elf Slut Sisters by Cameron Pierce and his wife Kirsten Alene.
A depraved tale about two hipersexual elves that get stuck in a blizzard with Santa Claus. Clits getting sliced with car keys and bulls filling elves to the brim with sperm make this tale stand out in the best and grossest of ways
-The Christmas Turn-on
AA batteries having an orgy inside bizarre and politically incorrect toys, such as a literal toy bitch with stockings and insane japanese scientists with prisoners of war.
-Santa and the Elves of Fuck
Santa gets captured by a christmas witch dominatrix in a chilly uncharted town and now is up to the Elves of Fuck to rescue him under Mrs Claus orders after they where planning on killing him for cheating on mrs Clause with a russian prostitute.
My only gripe with this book is that some of the stories seem to be leading to a gran satire on christmas itself, sometimes with our personal obsession with it, or with the insane consumerism of the season. Yet, it seems like when that subtext is about to hit, it suddenly stops, it is not that the stories are inconclusive, it is just that some of them are in need of an epilogue to ground them and to really stay with you beyond the grossness and bizarre antics.
My favorites of this collection
-The Elf Slut Sisters by Cameron Pierce and his wife Kirsten Alene.
A depraved tale about two hipersexual elves that get stuck in a blizzard with Santa Claus. Clits getting sliced with car keys and bulls filling elves to the brim with sperm make this tale stand out in the best and grossest of ways
-The Christmas Turn-on
AA batteries having an orgy inside bizarre and politically incorrect toys, such as a literal toy bitch with stockings and insane japanese scientists with prisoners of war.
-Santa and the Elves of Fuck
Santa gets captured by a christmas witch dominatrix in a chilly uncharted town and now is up to the Elves of Fuck to rescue him under Mrs Claus orders after they where planning on killing him for cheating on mrs Clause with a russian prostitute.
August 29, 2022
An odd day to finish this but have a bad habit of having too many SS collections open at same time so trying to finish a few, regardless of the season.
Like all SS collections, can be a mixed bag but they were mostly entertaining. In this set of stories of Bizarro fiction set around XMas. They are usually inventive & in other ways transgressive in regards to sex & violence. Bizarro is a genre into itself, with elements of horror or erotica being other primary elements. A fair share of gross out stuff. So never going to be for everyone. But, in a definite case of judging a book by its cover. I looked at the cover+title & thought I’ve got to read these. If that’s your reaction, you’ll probably be fine too.
Best Story: ‘Christmas Crabs’ (lazer armed or clawed(?) crabs attack at Xmas, good fun)
Worse Story: ‘The Elf Slut Sisters’ (Santa was definitely disturbing but this one just felt like it was trying too hard to be offensive (not that I was) with its sexual content. Incest, tick. Bestiality, tick. Etc. Just did not seem to be much of the inventiveness I like with bizarro stuff here)
Like all SS collections, can be a mixed bag but they were mostly entertaining. In this set of stories of Bizarro fiction set around XMas. They are usually inventive & in other ways transgressive in regards to sex & violence. Bizarro is a genre into itself, with elements of horror or erotica being other primary elements. A fair share of gross out stuff. So never going to be for everyone. But, in a definite case of judging a book by its cover. I looked at the cover+title & thought I’ve got to read these. If that’s your reaction, you’ll probably be fine too.
Best Story: ‘Christmas Crabs’ (lazer armed or clawed(?) crabs attack at Xmas, good fun)
Worse Story: ‘The Elf Slut Sisters’ (Santa was definitely disturbing but this one just felt like it was trying too hard to be offensive (not that I was) with its sexual content. Incest, tick. Bestiality, tick. Etc. Just did not seem to be much of the inventiveness I like with bizarro stuff here)
December 22, 2022
This is the only book that Carlton Mellick had released that I actually found offensive, but that's due to the story from Cameron Pierce/Kristen alene. I'm really not a prude, I love just about all of mellick's other releases, and even when there are sexually explicit situations in his stories, it's certainly pertinent to the story and as depth to the characters. The story by cp/ka is just simply distasteful and offensive for the sake of being as over the top as it can be. I'm not adding any spoilers, but the content of the story is truly questionable and actually worrisome as to the character of the people who wrote it. That story ruined the whole book for me which is a shame because all the other stories, though perverted (excluding the last one, that one was just pure weird fun), were in line with what I would otherwise expect from a CM3 release.
January 4, 2019
"Walking in", I was unaware of this being a collection of short stories "merely" edited by CMIII. So I was quite surprised, albeit pleasantly. As it turns out, the short stories herein (except for the comic strip) were well-written, and in my opinion the writers showed a much better writing style than I expect from CMIII himself. I did not like the stories too much (and why does so much of bizarro literature have to focus on sex and depravity? I simply don't get it), but the well-done writing means I will check out some other writings of these authors.
December 18, 2016
Interesting bizarro Christmas tales, best by Kevin L Donihe about showing a strange kind of charity to a homeless down and out Santa, the worst "the Christmas turn" on by Edmund Collel about a fantastic battery orgy on xmas but less fun than it sounds and reads like a text book. All over the place in quality and highly erotic if you're turned on by poop.
September 29, 2019
Full of perverted and disturbing Christmas tales, this book was perfect company to my hot apple cider. It has humor, horror, and of course is full of everything bizarre, these stories were a great treat to read!
February 20, 2021
Bizarre...Weird...Gross
It's all about the snow job! Best story in the book. The others were decent as well but this is the one that stuck with me. Alright read if you are looking to waste some time.
It's all about the snow job! Best story in the book. The others were decent as well but this is the one that stuck with me. Alright read if you are looking to waste some time.
March 10, 2025
This is a Christmas collection of various authors' stories in the bizarro fiction sub-subgenre. Bizarro fiction is extreme horror trying to be funny (mostly not succeeding) and horny (in, well, bizarre ways). What is extreme horror, you ask? Be glad that you don't now. The trouble with this bizarro fiction thing is that the authors in the movement (?!?) aren't good writers and their output is just very bad storytelling, treir style is atrocious even if you find their ideas funny.
December 27, 2021
Not sure what to write a lot of fucked up shit. Also the last story might be a Clickers story. Look up Clickers by JF Gonzalez.
January 16, 2025
Best christmas book I've ever read
December 17, 2021
🎄🎁 Book #7 for #Christmas2021 🎄🎁
"Christmas On Crack" by Carlton Mellick III
💥Proceed with caution in regards to this read as it is a bizzaro horror collection and NOT for the faint of heart💥
This book is a collection of bizarro fiction stories put together by Carlton Mellick III. I loved the preface that Mellick gives each story and author and the artwork included was hilarious. "The Elf Slut Sisters" by Cameron Pierce and Kirsten Alene and "Two-Way Santa" by Kevin L. Donihe were my favorite stories. There's a wickedly merry tale inside of this collection for everyone. 3.5 🌟
"Christmas On Crack" by Carlton Mellick III
💥Proceed with caution in regards to this read as it is a bizzaro horror collection and NOT for the faint of heart💥
This book is a collection of bizarro fiction stories put together by Carlton Mellick III. I loved the preface that Mellick gives each story and author and the artwork included was hilarious. "The Elf Slut Sisters" by Cameron Pierce and Kirsten Alene and "Two-Way Santa" by Kevin L. Donihe were my favorite stories. There's a wickedly merry tale inside of this collection for everyone. 3.5 🌟
December 24, 2011
Mrs. Claus puts a hit out on her unfaithful husband. Giants crabs with laser trying to ruin the perfect Christmas. Elf porn!
These are the Christmas-themed Bizarro short stories that make up Christmas on Crack, edited by Carlton Mellick III. Yes, I chose to read this one in time for the holidays. Because I'm just that twisted.
You'll have your pick from thoroughly Bizarro stories here, and there's no shortage of Bizarro-ness. There also no shortage of Christmas-ness in these stories, rather than stories that are only loosely related to Christmas. Which is strange when you think about the latter. Christmas is a holiday that really lends itself well to this genre.
A quick summary for each story is as follows:
Santa Claus and the Elves of Fuck by Jordan Krall:
Mrs. Claus puts a hit out on Santa for stepping out on her. But did he really step out, or has he been kidnapped?
Frosty and the Full Monty by Jeff Burk:
Frosty comes to life, but finds that living snowmen are addiction-prone, particularly to ice. Snowjobs aplenty.
Unwanted Gifts by Andrew Goldfarb:
A short, one page cartoon.
Two-Way Santa by Kevin L. Donihe:
Santa has quit his north pole gig, but is now homeless. That is, until someone gives him a place to stay for the night...
The Christmas Turn-On by Edmund Colell:
Imagine that the batteries used in your Christmas toys were alive and looked forward to Christmas because to them it was one big orgy.
The Elf-Slut Sisters by Cameron Pierce and Kirsten Alene:
In short, elf porn. Dark elf porn. Twisted and dark elf porn.
Christmas Crabs by Kevin Shamel:
Giant crabs with lasers try to ruin Christmas, but Rudy Olen won't let that stop him from having the perfect family Christmas.
So, how are they? As is often the case with anthologies, some of these stories are better than others, and it's really according to taste, but there's really not a miss among them. They're all solid stories told in a few pages each. My particular favorite was Christmas Crabs, but again this is likely according to taste as this story brought up memories of “National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation,” a classic in its own right. The Elf Slut Sisters might be a little disturbing, no make that a lot disturbing, to those who aren't prepared or haven't read things by Cameron Pierce before. Fortunately, I've read and reviewed Ass Goblins of Aushwitz previously, so I had some idea what I was in for.
If you're looking for some really messed-up Christmas stories, this is the place. There's something for everyone and every level and type of dementia (we're all a little mad). At the same time, being short stories by different authors, there are going to be certain stories that simply won't click with some readers. It's a measured risk with anthologies. However, I can still give the collection a hearty recommendation.
Christmas on Crack, edited by Carlton Mellick III, earns 4 “Ho's” our of 5.
These are the Christmas-themed Bizarro short stories that make up Christmas on Crack, edited by Carlton Mellick III. Yes, I chose to read this one in time for the holidays. Because I'm just that twisted.
You'll have your pick from thoroughly Bizarro stories here, and there's no shortage of Bizarro-ness. There also no shortage of Christmas-ness in these stories, rather than stories that are only loosely related to Christmas. Which is strange when you think about the latter. Christmas is a holiday that really lends itself well to this genre.
A quick summary for each story is as follows:
Santa Claus and the Elves of Fuck by Jordan Krall:
Mrs. Claus puts a hit out on Santa for stepping out on her. But did he really step out, or has he been kidnapped?
Frosty and the Full Monty by Jeff Burk:
Frosty comes to life, but finds that living snowmen are addiction-prone, particularly to ice. Snowjobs aplenty.
Unwanted Gifts by Andrew Goldfarb:
A short, one page cartoon.
Two-Way Santa by Kevin L. Donihe:
Santa has quit his north pole gig, but is now homeless. That is, until someone gives him a place to stay for the night...
The Christmas Turn-On by Edmund Colell:
Imagine that the batteries used in your Christmas toys were alive and looked forward to Christmas because to them it was one big orgy.
The Elf-Slut Sisters by Cameron Pierce and Kirsten Alene:
In short, elf porn. Dark elf porn. Twisted and dark elf porn.
Christmas Crabs by Kevin Shamel:
Giant crabs with lasers try to ruin Christmas, but Rudy Olen won't let that stop him from having the perfect family Christmas.
So, how are they? As is often the case with anthologies, some of these stories are better than others, and it's really according to taste, but there's really not a miss among them. They're all solid stories told in a few pages each. My particular favorite was Christmas Crabs, but again this is likely according to taste as this story brought up memories of “National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation,” a classic in its own right. The Elf Slut Sisters might be a little disturbing, no make that a lot disturbing, to those who aren't prepared or haven't read things by Cameron Pierce before. Fortunately, I've read and reviewed Ass Goblins of Aushwitz previously, so I had some idea what I was in for.
If you're looking for some really messed-up Christmas stories, this is the place. There's something for everyone and every level and type of dementia (we're all a little mad). At the same time, being short stories by different authors, there are going to be certain stories that simply won't click with some readers. It's a measured risk with anthologies. However, I can still give the collection a hearty recommendation.
Christmas on Crack, edited by Carlton Mellick III, earns 4 “Ho's” our of 5.
December 22, 2010
This is not your typical Christmas book. One look at the cover art should tell you that.
Carlton Mellick III, author of Sausagey Santa (my all-time favorite Christmas book) as well as many other books of bizarro fiction, is the editor of this collection of "perverted Christmas tales for the whole family (as long as every member of your family is over the age of 18)."
What we have here is a collection of stories about Mrs. Claus putting a hit on Santa for cheating on her, Frosty the Snowman as a stripper, battery sex, elf sluts and, my personal favorite, "Christmas Crabs" by Kevin Shamel, which is about one fine Christmas morning on which laser shooting crabs invade the world (what a wonderful b-movie this story would make!).
I admit I was a bit disappointed that Mr. Mellick himself did not have a story in this book, but I can understand that he wanted to showcase his friends -- other writers in the bizarro fiction community -- and I applaud his generosity in doing so.
While this book may not be to everyone's taste, those who have enjoyed such holiday literature as Sausagey Santa or Shane Ryan Staley's Dead Santa, or such holidays films as Jack Frost and Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman, might want to give this one a try.
Happy holidays!
Carlton Mellick III, author of Sausagey Santa (my all-time favorite Christmas book) as well as many other books of bizarro fiction, is the editor of this collection of "perverted Christmas tales for the whole family (as long as every member of your family is over the age of 18)."
What we have here is a collection of stories about Mrs. Claus putting a hit on Santa for cheating on her, Frosty the Snowman as a stripper, battery sex, elf sluts and, my personal favorite, "Christmas Crabs" by Kevin Shamel, which is about one fine Christmas morning on which laser shooting crabs invade the world (what a wonderful b-movie this story would make!).
I admit I was a bit disappointed that Mr. Mellick himself did not have a story in this book, but I can understand that he wanted to showcase his friends -- other writers in the bizarro fiction community -- and I applaud his generosity in doing so.
While this book may not be to everyone's taste, those who have enjoyed such holiday literature as Sausagey Santa or Shane Ryan Staley's Dead Santa, or such holidays films as Jack Frost and Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman, might want to give this one a try.
Happy holidays!
October 14, 2011
This is a collection of 7 bizarro Christmas stories from various authors of the genre and compiled by Carlton Mellick III. These tales place cherished Christmas icons and traditions on a mantle...then blast them to smithereens with a double-barrelled shotgun. The stories feature, among other things, a philandering Santa, a junkie-stripper Frosty the Snowman and a pair of elf sisters who are into some pretty kinky stuff. One of the more interesting concepts to me was the story "The Christmas Turn On" by Edmund Colell, which is from the third-person point of view of a AA battery on Christmas morning. I enjoyed the collection as a whole, but I'd have to say that my favorites are "Frosty and the Full Monty" by Jeff Burk, "Christmas Crabs" by Kevin Shamel and "Two Way Santa" by Kevin Donihe (which is actually pretty darn disturbing). So grab some eggnog and enjoy!
January 2, 2015
Well what can I say? Firstly, the cover bears no resemblance to any of the stories. Why should it I suppose-statement of fact rather than implying any disappointment. This book belongs to a genre of fiction called bizzaro (from the blurb on the back) and was bought as a joke present for me at xmas. It does what it says on the tin-its bizarre-totally bizarre so one can't really complain- a bit like when in Scotland I was asked if I wanted chips or potatoes with my meal, opted for potatoes and got chips. It was good to try and be pushed into trying an alternative (very alternative!) genre from allegedly excellent writers of the art. A collection of short stories it was very quick to read. I wouldn't class it as offensive in any way; it is, well- bizarre-it's freakish and definitely oddball and at times unpleasant. Probably avoid unless you're a fan
January 25, 2016
This is one of the worst books I've ever read. It's awesome. From reimagining "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" with giant mutant crabs, to self-mutilating nymphomaniac elves, to tentacles, to batteries mating with batteries inside Christmas toys, this book has it all and it's all shit. Strongly recommended if your tastes are adventurous, perverse, or if you just want to read something actually INTERESTING for Christmas this year.
July 31, 2014
Weird, strange, unsettling. The list can go on to describe this book. This was my first "bizarro" novel and it is very unique. All of the stories except the last feature some sort of bizarre sexual act that ranges from abnormal to sick. The last story has no sex, just giant man-eating crabs with lasers. Can't go wrong with that!
March 23, 2014
After reading Cannabals of Candy land I couldn't wait to read another Carlton Mellick book. Ooops this was short stories from other writers.
I'm glad I stuck with it cause I really enjoyed this book! I love bizzaro there was a bit more sex than I like but the stories were so much fun!
Battery sex, cheating Santa and my FAVORITE the stripper Frosty. Great read.
I'm glad I stuck with it cause I really enjoyed this book! I love bizzaro there was a bit more sex than I like but the stories were so much fun!
Battery sex, cheating Santa and my FAVORITE the stripper Frosty. Great read.
December 18, 2015
We love this book. It is sick, twisted and perverted just like the cover indicates. The first two stories have us hooked, Jordan Krall's "Santa and The Elves of Fuck" and Jeff Burk's "Frosty and The Full Monty" deliver exactly the kind of twisted debauchery we were hoping to read. Great work by the editor in picking these perverted Christmas tales.
May 1, 2024
A collection of short stories based on Christmas by Carlton Mellick III.
This was my second book by him (the first being The Menstruating Mall) and this really showed me just how insane the Bizarro genre can be, and I absolutely loved it!
I have no words for some of these stories, just read them for yourself and your mind will be absolutely blown and fucked!
4/5
This was my second book by him (the first being The Menstruating Mall) and this really showed me just how insane the Bizarro genre can be, and I absolutely loved it!
I have no words for some of these stories, just read them for yourself and your mind will be absolutely blown and fucked!
4/5
Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews