Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook: A Step-by-Step Guide to Challenge the Ten Traits of Perfectionism That Mask Your Depression

by Margaret Robinson Rutherford, Kimberley Quinlan (Foreword)

When your life seems perfect to others, but you’re slowly and silently falling apart—this workbook will help you recognize and challenge the ten traits of destructive perfectionism that mask and drive your hidden depression. If you were raised to believe that expressing struggle is a sign of weakness, or if being emotionally transparent has always made you feel unsafe, then you may have protected yourself by creating a perfect-looking life—a life where you appear to be successful, engaged, and always there for others. The problem? What began as protection is now its own prison. You’re filled with self-criticism and shame, and you can’t allow yourself to express fear, anger, loss, or grief. You recognize something is wrong, but you’re not sure what exactly—only that you feel trapped and alone. If this sounds like you, you may have perfectly hidden depression (PHD).With this evidence-based workbook, you’ll learn to challenge the ten traits of perfectionism that act to mask your depression, release feelings of shame, overcome the need to rigidly control your emotions, and cultivate true self-acceptance. You’ll also find tangible tips for quieting that critical and rule-bound inner voice, and powerful strategies for coping with difficult feelings. Most importantly, you’ll discover that asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, but a sign of your strong determination to heal.This workbook will help what created the need for your perfectionismIdentify destructive beliefs and challenge their usefulness in the presentBegin to express and honor your range of feelingsBuild meaningful connectionsIf you’re ready to stop hiding and start healing, this workbook will guide you—every imperfect step of the way.

200 pages, Paperback

Expected publication April 1, 2026

About the author

I have been a psychologist in private practice for over thirty years. I began writing online in 2012, and I’m excited to announce that my book, entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism that Masks Your Depression, was published in English in 2019, and since has been translated into German, Turkish, Polish, Dutch, Korean, and Czech.

You can learn more about perfectly hidden depression and other topics by searching for articles on my website and by listening to my podcast called SelfWork, which you can find here or on your favorite podcasting platform.

I’ve been researching and writing on perfectly hidden depression for ten years, and I’m passionate about the message that although depression can be heavily masked by perfectionism, its damage can still be devastating to that someone who’s trying so hard to smile their way through growing loneliness and despair. I recently became a TedX Speaker at TedXBocaRotan and would love to speak to your organization.

Reviews

[Beth · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was so refreshing and eye-opening. Not all forms of depression (or anxiety, for that matter) look like the stereotypical version, and that lack of awareness means that many people live in invisible pain. I liked how this book walked through the characteristics of this particular version of depression, clearly mapping out what these terms mean, and then also provided thought-provoking exercises to investigate.