The Mattering Instinct: How Our Deepest Longing Drives Us and Divides Us

by Rebecca Newberger Goldstein

“[An] extraordinary and urgent book.” —Jonathan Haidt



“The Mattering Instinct is a masterpiece. I wept, I laughed out loud, I came face-to-face with the wellsprings of my life, but mostly I marveled at Rebecca Goldstein’s genius. This book should ignite a revolution.” —Martin Seligman, best-selling author of A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being



A paradigm-shifting work that explores humanity’s most fundamental desire.



Apple Books • Most Anticipated Books of 2026


MacArthur Fellow and National Humanities Medalist Rebecca Newberger Goldstein, author of Plato at the Googleplex and The Mind-Body Problem, returns with a revelatory book about the primal drive that in our species alone has been transformed into one of our most persistent and universal the longing to matter.



Drawing on biology, psychology, and philosophy, Goldstein argues that this need to matter—and the various “mattering projects” it inspires—is the source of our greatest progress and our deepest the very crux of the human experience.



Goldstein brings this profound idea to life through unforgettable stories of famous and not-so-famous people pursuing their unique mattering the ragtime genius Scott Joplin, whose dedication to his ignored masterpiece, Treemonisha, ended in tragedy; the pioneering psychologist William James, who rose above the depression of his young adulthood to become perhaps the first great theorist of mattering; an impoverished Chinese woman who rescued abandoned newborns from the trash; and a neo-Nazi skinhead who as a young man dealt racial violence to feel he mattered but ultimately renounced that hateful past after realizing that mattering isn’t a zero-sum game. These portraits illuminate how our instinct for significance shapes identity, relationships, culture, and conflict—and they point the way to a future where we all might see that there is, fundamentally, enough mattering to go around.



Deeply revealing and insightful, and decades in the making, The Mattering Instinct is a must read for those curious about why we seek to matter to ourselves and others—and how this insatiable longing that drives us apart may be the key to finally understanding each other.

Genres: Nonfiction, Philosophy, Self Help, Psychology, Science

350 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 13, 2026

Reviews

[Seçkin Sosyal · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this book was about meaning, but it was about desire to be important what Goldstein calls 'mattering'. I was expecting a sharper philosophical investigation; instead, it relies heavily on anecdotes and biographical narratives.

Goldstein groups people into four by how they pursue mattering:
- Heroic striver: achievement motivation
- Competitor: social comparison orientation, tendency to instrumentalize others
- Transcender: religious/spiritual orientation
- Socializer: belonging/affiliation motivation

The book mostly consists of life stories that fall into each category. Those categories are presented as heuristics rather than as a framework supported by systematic empirical validation.

[Donna · Rating 4 out of 5]

We all long to matter. Needing to matter drives some of our most selfish and selfless impulses. Some people choose to pursue mattering by harming others; they seem to believe they have to matter more than someone else. Some choose to pursue mattering by creating something new to benefit themselves and others. Others choose different forms of mattering.

This book got me to think a bit about how I pursue mattering and what I see in others. I don't quite fit the categories, but I'm guessing those were based on allistic (nonautistic) people. Perhaps autistic people like me are a bit different with this.

I hadn't quite put this term to what I've seen with supremacists, but it makes sense to me. They seem to see mattering as a finite resource, and thus if someone else matters, they see it as taking something from them. So they choose to push back and "prove" they matter more.

I found this book fascinating. Sometimes the author provides extensive background, which is excellent for those who don't have it. It can be a bit tedious in parts if you have the background knowledge already, though I liked seeing how the author explained it in relation to the topic.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC!

[Ali · Rating 4 out of 5]

I rarely highlight passages when I read, but this book had me reaching for the pen repeatedly.
Goldstein's central claim is simple: the longing to matter is the engine behind almost everything we do. Not Maslow's pyramid where you work your way up to meaning after handling the basics. The mattering instinct runs underneath everything, constantly.
Her taxonomy of how people pursue mattering—transcenders, socializers, heroic strivers, competitors—gave me a new lens for understanding people whose choices previously seemed inexplicable. The stories she tells to illustrate these types are what make the book work. This isn't dry philosophy.
The passages on relationships and how people get pulled into destructive groups stuck with me most. You can't argue someone out of a mattering project. They leave only when they find an alternative path to mattering that works better.
Where I struggled: Goldstein's standard for healthy mattering is whether it increases flourishing, connection, knowledge, beauty. But everyone believes their project does this. The framework offers no defense against self-deception. It's a sharp tool for understanding others but suspiciously forgiving when turned on oneself.
Still—the book changed how I see people. That's enough.

[Angie Boyter · Rating 3 out of 5]

We all want to matter
This book introduced me to a universal human need that I now recognize and acknowledge but had never really thought of---the need to MATTER. Everyone wants to matter, to live lives we see as meaningful . We want to matter in different ways, though, depending on your personality and circumstances. Goldstein identifies and explores four mattering types: socializers, transcenders, competitors, and heroic strivers. She gave me a lot of food for thought.
Unfortunately, the book was spoiled for me by the author’s style , which I found wordy and academic. At one point I even entered a comment, “pompous gobbledegook”. A good example (and shorter than most} is “We are not only gregarious but altricial---meaning born helpless and requiring long periods of care from others.(The root comes from Latin alere -meaning to nurture, to nurse- making for the other half of alma mater.)." First of all, it would be best in general not to use a word you do not think your reader will know. If you think it is a term they should know or that you will be using a lot, it is good to define it, but you really do not need to provide the derivation. It is off-topic, even for readers like me who are interested in language. There are wonderful very appropriate references in the book to thinkers, writers, and leaders in the past and present day, but she too often added irrelevant information about the person, which annoyed me. Get back on track!
If you can be patient and not be put off by the writing, there are some very good ideas in this book that can help you understand your own motivations and that of others. And that is certainly something that matters.
I received an advance review copy of this book from Edelweiss and Liveright publishers.

[Tiago Flora · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is more enriching than my rating suggests. Goldstein has found a vocabulary for a litany of feelings that seem universal and universally important. The last 2 chapters are deeply moving. This is a book I will reread. But that doesn't make it a superbly well-written one.

While I liked the content, much of it could have been condensed into an outstanding Substack article. I think that would have been a better format for Goldstein's ideas. But a book carries respect inaccessible to web pages. Hopefully, it carries more longevity as well.

[Neil · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book isn't an easy read because it delves into psychology, physics, metaphysics, sociology, and philosophy. It's a smogorsboard of concepts but it does do a good job walking through the basis of the concept of Mattering and how that drives us. Should be read by anyone trying to lead organizations motivate people on their mission and values.

[Lisa Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very intriguing. I do think the categories are well thought out and useful in terms of understanding others. I think her ending was her falling into the trap of hypocrisy that she actually lays out in the book but over all a thought provoking read!

[Alex M. Bendersky · Rating 5 out of 5]

Superb! Should be a must read for anyone who is curious about the human condition!

[Gijs Limonard · Rating 3 out of 5]

2,5 stars; what a hype;

[Terry Pearson · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars

[Ben · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting read, especially as it rightfully gives more perspective than answers regarding the need to matter and how to achieve that need.