Unequal By Design: Counseling Power Dynamic Relationships

by Raven Kaldera

Power dynamic relationships – meaning deliberately negotiated unequal relationships – are often misunderstood by mental health professionals as inevitably abusive. This anthology of essays by kink-aware therapists explodes that myth, and gives solid, practical advice for effectively counseling couples in these alternative relationships. Edited by a psychiatrist and a professional educator on power dynamic relationships, this book should be a cultural-competency reference for any mental health professional, because you never know who might be sitting on your couch someday.

Genres: BDSM

121 pages, Kindle Edition

First published July 5, 2014

About the author

A female-to-male transgendered activist and shaman, Raven Kaldera is a pagan priest, intersex transgender activist, parent, astrologer, musician and homesteader. Kaldera is also the author of "Hermaphrodeities: The Transgender Spirituality Workbook" from XLibris Press. The founder and leader of the Pagan Kingdom of Asphodel and the Asphodel Pagan Choir, Kaldera has been a neo-pagan since the age of 14, when he was converted by a "fam-trad" teen on a date. Since then, he's been through half a dozen traditions, including Gardnerian, Dianic, granola paganism, Umbanda, Heithnir, and the Peasant Tradition. He is currently happily married to artist and eco-experimentalist Bella Kaldera, with whom he co-founded the Institute for Heritage Skills.

Reviews

[Dani · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a good, solid, well written book (3 stars in my rating system means exactely what Goodreads intends it to mean: "liked it). However, I was looking for something else so that might have prevented a higher rating.

The essays offer solid, well-researched but basic information on terminology and kink culture. The relationship dynamics are discussed in a validating, non-judgemental tone.
However, since this book is geared towards mental health professionals I was expecting a more in-depth analysis of potentially dysfunctional aspects of power-dynamics-relationships (PDR) and their interplay with diagnosable mental health issues.
Instead it is repeated ad nauseum that PDR relationships are not inherently abusive and the people involved are neither more nor less prone to dysfunctional dynamics and mental health issues.

I know that - nevertheless it DOES happen, as in a lot vanilla-relationships, and I would have liked a more application-oriented, in-depth look at the specific problematic aspects and the treatment thereof.

This feels more like a beginners guide.

ETA
Any of my fellow kinkster friends: Do you have a recommendation for what I'm looking for?

[Zell Murdy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really appreciate this book's existence, and thought it did a good job explaining the concept of power dynamic relationships. However, I felt that it was overly short and would have loved to see more of a focus on how to counsel power dynamic relationships, unique concerns that come up, and more fleshed out information. There was some good stuff about attachment styles and similarity with traditional relationships, but this just felt too short and unfinished.