So Old, So Young: A Novel

by Grant Ginder

Six Friends.
Five Parties.
Twenty Years…
How did we get So Old, So Young?

From Grant Ginder, the bestselling author of The People We Hate at the Wedding, comes a novel of impending millennial middle age that is part love story, part tragic comedy. Five parties over the course of two decades bring six college friends together, exploring the ways we can run from and cling to our friends in love, life, and death.

For Marco and Mia, Sasha and Theo, Richie and Adam, the one constant in life after college together has been change. New jobs. New cities. New spouses. New children. Through it all, one thing they thought would always stay the same is their friendship. But time has a way of breaking even the strongest bonds and testing what we thought we knew. From East Village apartment parties and disastrous destination weddings to fortieth birthdays and suburban backyard barbecues, Grant Ginder’s resonant, funny, and deeply moving novel is a story about the growing pains of the millennial generation, and a celebration of how love can shift, stumble, and grow into something bigger than we ever could have imagined.

Genres: Fiction, Contemporary, Romance, Literary Fiction, Friendship, Audiobook, Book Club

384 pages, Paperback

First published February 17, 2026

About the author

Grant Ginder is the author of five novels, including LET'S NOT DO THAT AGAIN and THE PEOPLE WE HATE AT THE WEDDING. He received his MFA from NYU, where he teaches writing. He lives in Brooklyn.

Follow him on Twitter or Instagram @GrantGinder

Reviews

[Lucia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley, the publisher, and the author for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

For the first few chapters of this book, I was so worried that I wasn't going to like it. It felt a bit shallow, and there didn't really seem to be a plot. I was wrong.

"So Old, So Young" is told over twenty years, through five different parties. The novel does a perfect job of illustrating how time changes everything: people, relationships, interests, and ideas. Each character navigates this in different ways, showing the complexity of human nature.

This story was completely character-driven. While that can be boring, this was done very well. The story follows six characters, and every single one of them is complicated, realistic, and distinctive. Sometimes I liked them, and sometimes I hated them. What I had first mistook for being shallow was actually just complexity, with each character having very real flaws, which could be found in any of us.

Although the ending felt slightly rushed over, it was still an incredible read!

Overall, I would definitely recommend "So Old, So Young" if you are looking for a more character-driven story that is still interesting. Do yourself a favor and read it once it's released on February 17th!

[Meagan (Meagansbookclub) · Rating 4 out of 5]

6 friends all trying to navigate adult life as they grow up and grow apart as they long for their old selves and who they used to be.

Going in, I knew this would be a story you’d need to sink your teeth into because it is primarily character driven with a larger cast of characters. It took a minute to sort everyone out. With alternating POV, I found myself wanting to stay with certain characters, and then skip over other chapters because they weren’t interesting to me or they were just too insufferable.

There is a lot here that I found relatable but i think ultimately, the writing lacked depth and emotion. It was hard to emotionally connect with anyone. It flowed between past reflections to present day sometimes within the same paragraph so my eyes did a lot a work reading each word to make sure I didn’t skip over anything.

The ending felt rushed and by then, I didn’t feel that emotional pull I know the author was trying to accomplish.

I’m giving this one 3.5 ⭐️ right now but rounding up to 4 because there is a lot here to unpack and I think with the right readers, it’ll be a hit.

[morgan! · Rating 5 out of 5]

“they were never going to stop growing up, and there was nothing they could do to change that”

unapologetically human and absolutely devastating as a twenty something already riddled with nostalgia for the present

[TracyGH · Rating 1 out of 5]

Unusual for me to DNF a book. 60% and I can not.
Very rare for me to not finish a book, maybe one or two a year.

Too much drug use. Too many parties. Binging on alcohol making for bad decisions. I feel like these people are not my kind of people and therefore I do not care how this book enfolds. I have 100 books sitting on my shelf. (I probably have more… 😬)
Surely there has to be better reads than this. 🤞🏼

[Tell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this in two sittings and absolutely loved it. A strong entry into the decades spanning friendship novel genre, this book follows six friends across five parties and how their lives and friendships radically shift across twenty years of Millennial touchpoints.

Ginder has a way of evoking time and place- MGMT on the radio, the East Village in 2007, Cardi B soundtracking a summer house party in 2018- that instantly transport the reader into a specific mood and moment.

While the hook of the book is gripping, the emotional core of the novel is the connection across time, and how those fray and tatter: the most powerful storyline was the slow dissolution of a particular friendship due to motherhood and marriage. I'll say more about this on TikTok (as I always do), but the real pain of being forgotten about as friends progress into new versions and visions of their lives is always ripe for dissection and startingly real for people single in their thirties or forties.

Honest, incisive, particular, and smart: I loved this book.

[Brandice · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved So Old, So Young, a contemporary fiction story most millennials will find relatable.

It’s a privilege and a gift to have the same friends in different stages of life and So Old, So Young explores this, through a group of 6 friends, at 5 parties, over 20 years. The story has humor, hope, tragedy, frustration, and love. None of the characters were without flaws and I did not always like her, but Mia was my favorite. I also enjoyed all the 2000s references, many of them on brand for my own college experience.

So Old, So Young felt familiar and resonated with me — In Grant Ginder’s own words, it’s about friendship and time. I highly recommend it.

Thank you to Netgalley and Gallery Books for providing an advance reader copy in exchange for an honest review.

[dani · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars

wow cause WOW. this made me super emotional and a bit weepy and also a bit existential?

this is a story of six friends who we follow along with throughout five different parties in the span of twenty years. it has you loving characters, hating them, and loving them again. i absolutely ADORED this. i loved how real it was and how you connect with most, if not all of them, to the point where finishing the book felt like closing some sort of chapter in your life.

this was beautiful and so wholly real and human. it makes you incredibly aware of how short life is and the reality of your friends and the people you love. funny at times, and even devasting—“so old so young” will transcend time

[biba ♡]

dnf @ 28%

here's the deal. i was actually enjoying this one. it's really well written, the characters are intriguing, etc etc. there's nothing "wrong" with the book. i was simply uncomfortable reading it; there was just far too much about drugs and sex. the language was strong as well, which generally isn't an issue, but combined with the other factors i just didn't want to keep going.

thank you to the publisher for an e-arc!

[Gail · Rating 1 out of 5]

There should be a foreign word for the feeling that comes when your expectations are unmet by a book. Maybe that word already exists, but whatever it might be, I was starting to experience it a few chapters into the party-centric narrative of this buzzy new release.

Confused by all the characters (and failing to understand their relationship to one another), I was wondering if I wanted to keep reading when a scene arrived that made the decision for me: a throwaway reference to an artist featured in the gallery where main character Sasha works—a photographer whose new show “consisted of high-res shots of garbage dumps in Indiana.”

Nice .... reallllll nice.

Look, when you’re from the Midwest, you’re used to getting shit on proverbially for living in fly-over country. And I know I’m hyper-sensitive to the resentment I feel every time I see a passive dig at my state delivered on the page. But witness the pattern enough times, and you, too, might get a little testy. (So testy, in fact, that you counter your frustrations by creating a successful online book group dedicated to reading and discussing books that actually celebrate the Midwest.)

Maybe So Old, So Young got better, but I guess I’ll never know. In setting it aside, I only wish my copy had been a physical one—that way I could have taken a “high-res shot” of it in one of the Indiana garbage dumps Ginder is so fond of writing about. (A work of art, indeed!) Sadly, the closest I’ll come to that satisfaction is the refund I received for the digital version from Apple Books.

[Chrissy Vaughn · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 stars. (Publishing Feb 17 2026)

Unpopular opinion alert:
I almost DNF'd this one, but I'm morally opposed to DNFs so slogged through. While I found Ginder's prose smooth and polished, so much about this book didn't hit or truly bugged me. As others have mentioned, it's a character-driven story that spans decades of six(ish) college friends through their 40s. The original stage - a NYE party and college apartment living - meant to forge super-tight bonds in this friend group did the opposite for me; nothing communicated to me that these people were close with -- or even liked -- each other. As such the foundation of the rest of the book couldn't hold up the remainder of the story meant to explore their evolution as friends and people. They were all quite unlikable and highly privileged, which isn't a dealbreaker for a character, but I didn't really *care* about any of them enough to engage in their usually petty stories.

Some of the specific things that bugged me (better editing could've helped?):
- Why was each chapter given a date and time? I've seen this method well used in mystery/thrillers that are building to a big crescendo moment, but this added detail was completely superfluous and purposeless here
- The friends attended events like a wedding and baby shower for someone in their extended group that none of them ever appeared to like or have a relationship with -- why?
- Unnecessary and repeated details bogged down the prose and did nothing to advance a scene -- e.g., taking glasses more than once off to clean them with a shirt tail, pulling up a shirt sleeve 1/2 inch from the wrist to look at a watch
- Gluten-free cupcakes were treated as obviously gross (maybe a petty observation from a GF reader, but this bugged me to no end)

+++++
Thank you to Net Galley and Gallery/Scout Press for the eARC in exchange for my unbiased review.

[Angie Miale · Rating 2 out of 5]

The best thing about this book is the off handed references to current events over the course of the book. Things everyone was talking about at the time that you forgot about. The nostalgia and remembering is well done.

There are many characters and it is difficult to keep them straight, but over time they come together.

I did not like the way women were portrayed in this novel. The main characters- Mia and Sasha- but also the minor characters such as Courtney, and the nameless women in the background. They were all vapid and came across as cruel.

[Shannon (The Book Club Mom) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another one for the millennials! Grant Ginder gives his readers a glimpse at a 20+ year friendship between six college friends. We witness how they meet, form bonds, and evolve overtime. As they each take a different path, choose a career, find a partner, and for some, become parents, it’s evident how life changes them and fractures their relationships with one another. With various weddings, moves, births, new jobs, break-ups, arguments, and betrayals, the big question is if their friendship can stand the true test of time

QUICK SYNOPSIS:
𝘎𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘎𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳’𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘯𝘵, 𝘧𝘶𝘯𝘯𝘺, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘭𝘺 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘯𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘭 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘔𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢 𝘤𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘧𝘵, 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘮𝘣𝘭𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘪𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘸𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘥.

READ THIS IF YOU ENJOY:

- Marriage and relationships
- Pregnancy and parenthood
- Career life
- The college years
- Friendship fiction
- Parties, events, and get-togethers
- Multiple POVs and timelines
- Fun and witty banter

I will say that I found it a bit difficult to form genuine connections to these characters. I related to a lot of things that some of them were going through, but with six different perspectives, I struggled to pick a favorite. Perhaps this is just a common occurrence with novels with a plethora of characters. I had a similar experience with another book I read earlier this month that also had a lot of characters to keep track of. With that said, I still found it quite enjoyable and entertaining.

4/5 stars for SO OLD, SO YOUNG! It’s out now!

[Stephanie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I want to write this while the book is still fresh in my mind, especially since it's a giant cluster of characters and none of them are likeable for any reason whatsoever. Was that Grant Ginder's hope? To have a book where the reader shouldn't like the characters? Weirder things have happened.

There are a ton of characters, none that had any development whatsoever. A few I wish were in it more, like Allison, and who is Ravi? And why does everyone hate Nina Guzman? She was hilarious!

There's Ralphie, Mia, Mitch, Adam, Theo, Sasha, and quite a few others that didn't really need to be in the book so the focus could have been on the main six (or is it eight? I don't know) characters. Some are romantically involved, some hate each other, some have kids together, all happens over a 16-year period, where the same group of college friends meet each other at various parties and locations. Don't really know why, as they all seem to hate each other, or maybe they actually love each other?

Regardless, I stuck through it because there were some laugh out loud moments, as if Ginder just has SO much potential to write a decent book here, but instead, it's a giant cluster of half baked characters, a lot of cocaine, east coast nonsense, and by the end you might cry, but only if you're invested in who these shallow people even are.

High hopes, with major letdown.

[Christine Savukinas · Rating 4 out of 5]

I did not like many of the people in this book, I do not want to be friends with them and I think they are almost all extremely self centered and selfish. That being said, I could not put this book down. It was like watching the scene of an accident, and I needed to know what was going to happen next. This novel follows a group of people who all meet in their early 20’s and then on several special occasions over the years. We see them at their worst socially and yet somehow I was very invested in what would happen between them next.
I have heard it described as similar to The Big Chill, but it has been a very long time since I saw the movie, so I am not entirely sure if that is he best reference, I do know now that I am done I am glad I read it, and I will be thinking about it for a while.
Thank you Netgalley and Gallery Books for the digital ARC.

[Toni · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent excellent!

I adore this author’s writing. This is kind of like, The Big Chill (1983 film), for millennials, without the music. Hint: would be a fantastic film!

A core group of six friends from college try to maintain their friendships as their lives naturally change. Marriage, children, careers all affect their lives but often making it difficult to relate and stay in touch.

The story follows all of them from their twenties to their forties. Realistic, funny and so relatable. Loved it!

Thanks Edelweiss and Gallery.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

So Old, So Young is one of those deeply character driven novels that hits hardest in audio, especially with its stellar full cast narration. Featuring Jill Paice, Christian Barillas, Santino Fontana, Greta Jung, Patti Murin, and Michael Urie (a literal who’s who of audiobook royalty), the listening experience feels immersive and intimate, like being dropped into a long running friend group’s life and quietly observing how time reshapes everything. The story unfolds across a series of parties and milestone events over twenty years, which is a refreshingly smart structure that lets relationships evolve naturally; sometimes tenderly, sometimes painfully. Grant Ginder has a sharp, observant voice and plenty to say about aging, friendship, ambition, and the strange dissonance of feeling both “so old” and “so young” at once. If you’re anywhere near midlife, these characters will feel uncomfortably relatable in the best way.

[Sydney · Rating 5 out of 5]

This one worked for me! The blurb on the back sums it up best - “Five parties over the course of two decades bring six college friends together, exploring the ways we can run from and cling to our friends in love, life, and death.

This novel captures the nostalgia of old friendship well. How you can simultaneously love someone but be annoyed at their choices. I loved the dynamics. I found the interactions and how they changed over the years so spot on. The struggle to appear the same to your friends when you’ve changed so much and how it inevitably changes your relationship despite your best efforts. A great character driven novel.

4.5⭐️

[Callie Mish · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. It pans from college to mid 40s around a friend group and how growing up and life change dramatically.

[Andrea Samacicia Mullan · Rating 4 out of 5]

So Old, So Young is special for so many reasons. First is its structure: the novel unfolds over a series of milestone gatherings across roughly twenty years, told through the perspectives of a group of friends who meet in college in the early 2000s. It’s a clever, engaging framework that keeps the story moving and makes the passage of time feel both fluid and meaningful. Plus, for anyone like me who is of a similar age as the characters, the references are amazing.

The writing is beautiful. Light enough to draw you in quickly, sharp in its humor, and poignant without ever tipping into sentimentality.

My one real criticism is that, at times, certain plot turns arrived without quite enough narrative buildup. One particular storyline felt as though it was introduced too abruptly, which made it harder to fully understand what was driving the character in that moment. It was eventually addressed in a way that gave me enough context for it to make sense, even if I still didn’t entirely relate to the choice itself.

In a way, that slight disorientation feels right in line with what the novel is exploring: how well we truly know our friends (and ourselves!) as we move through the messy, unpredictable process of growing up, and how we never really stop doing so. The book is deeply attuned to the idea that adulthood doesn’t bring clarity so much as it brings new versions of uncertainty.

For readers drawn to stories about friendship, coming of age, and the surprising, often bittersweet turns life can take, this book will be a hit. So Old, So Young is funny, emotionally astute, and full of sharp observations that I expect will stay with me for a long time.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the advance copy.

[Jazmine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC. This is a character driven novel with deeply relatable characters navigating the complexities of growing older. Told through multiple POVs, it weaves together the perspectives of five people all grappling with identity, aging, and the ache of nostalgia. It’s a coming of mid adulthood story, that dives into that quiet, unsettling realization that their youth passed in a blur, and before they truly figured out who they were, they woke up in a life full of responsibilities. The story explores how they grew apart from people, places, and versions of themselves they once couldn’t imagine living without and how that distance, while freeing, can also feel a little heartbreaking. What I loved most is how the book captures the layered nature of being human. It doesn’t shy away from the hard parts of parenthood, friendship breakups, love lost, grief, and even the mundane rhythms of daily life. It’s a gentle reminder that growing older means remembering, letting go, and holding on often all at once.

[Kelli · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the story of a group of six friends told through the respective lenses of each of them using 5 parties that bring them together, twenty years, and all of the life changes that cause their friendships to evolve. It begins with them in college and we are carried with them into their 40s.

I did not expect to love this book as much as I did. I loved these characters and it was so nostalgic of my college years, young adulthood in my twenties, and all of the life experiences that came with my thirties and forties. It was real and raw with nuggets of humor and emotion that made you connect with the characters. I was really sad to finish this book because I wasn’t ready to let these characters go.

Thank you so much to NetGalley, the publisher, and to the author for granting me this ARC Kindle copy of So Old, So Young. I loved, loved, loved it and I’m so grateful. Thank you for the opportunity.

[Cindy (leavemetomybooks) · Rating 5 out of 5]

* thanks to Gallery/Scout Press for the ARC (pub date: Feb 2026)

Coming-of-age/dealing with approaching middle age story about a group of college friends (some couples) based around five parties over 20+ years. I didn’t necessarily like any of these people, but I was very invested in what happened to each and every one of them.

[Michelle Kimber · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars

I was pleasantly surprised by this novel. I enjoyed the study in friendship and how it can change over time. I enjoyed the very real cast of characters. They felt well fleshed out and very unique. I wished only that the nostalgia was more nuanced.

[Derek Driggs · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’ve been a little hesitant to commit to many new fiction releases this year… there just seem to be so many of them, and more than half are these multiple pov “group of friends over a lifetime” books which, when well-done, I really enjoy; I just can’t imagine many of them are all that well-done. This one was good, but it wasn’t great. It felt a little bit purposeless, and lacked much of a narrative thrust. The writing was nice and the characters were realistic, but none were particularly likable. In fact they were all a little obnoxious. Perhaps this is because they were all casually elite, either in class or career, and this didn’t seem remarkable to the writer in any way. I struggle to connect with writers for whom upper class life is the assumed setting rather than something to be aimed for or commented on or cast in some kind of interesting light.

Certain things made me think, like the unresolved tension between friends who struggled to connect once some of them became parents and others didn’t; both sides of that divide were interesting and there was no right answer in how those friendships could stay strong.

But overall, I feel a bit meh; one of those books that doesn’t uplift and doesn’t make you think too hard but is likely to be praised by other writers who are part of the same connected group.

I’d be curious to hear about any must-read new fiction books this year, if anyone has come upon one.

[Kimberly · Rating 4 out of 5]

This novel offers an honest, detailed exploration of friendship, focusing on how it shifts and evolves as people move through different stages of life. The story centers on six friends whose lives remain intertwined for twenty years, chronicling their shared experiences as they navigate the challenges of adulthood, celebrate milestones, and drift apart. The author excels at creating complex, realistic characters whose flaws and vulnerabilities make them feel authentic and relatable—even when their actions aren’t always likable. I was particularly struck by how the book’s depiction of friendship made me reflect on my own relationships, especially those from my twenties, and how they changed over time. The writing is sharp and insightful, blending humor and emotion to capture the complexity and messiness of human connection in a way that resonates deeply.

Would I recommend this book? Absolutely, especially to readers who enjoy character-driven stories with multiple perspectives and timelines that will make you laugh out loud and cry!

[Heather~ Nature.books.and.coffee · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had both the digital book and audiobook for this one. I did mostly the audiobook and let me tell you, it's so good. The full cast did such a great job of depicting each character's POV. I always love stories about groups of friends and friendships. The author gives us relatable characters in this book. A group of friends, throughout the years, at different points in their lives. I could not stop listening/reading. Just like in real life, how friends can drift apart and then find their way back into each other's lives, that's what we get here. Full of heart, humor, and love. I really enjoyed this one.

Thank you to the publisher and netgalley for the gifted copies. All opinions are my own.

[Rick B Buttafogo · Rating 4 out of 5]

The novel follows a group of six close college friends over two decades, showing how their friendships and romantic lives change. It’s very similar to the 1983 movie The Big Chill were all friends gather for the funeral of one of their own. Mia, the main character, is now a 43 yr old woman flying back to NYC from London (where she now lives) to attend the funeral of a once close friend. The novel then travels back to her college days where all the friends fist meet and then all the issues life has brought their way. While the book was a bit too long giving all the background character details, the last section of the book, the funeral, was well worth the wait. It really makes you think about the choices you make in life. You are not young forever because you never stop growing up. I recommend reading this if you get the chance. You may learn something about yourself and perhaps rekindle friendships you lost along the way.

[Sarah Charleson · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 ⭐️ I nearly DNF’d this as I was so confused with so many characters stories to follow, but I am so so glad I didn’t. I LOVE a story spanning generations and character driven - if done well - and this was fantastic. Thanks to Libro.fm for the ALC!

[Caro · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars 🌟 and once I digest it a bit more, maybe even 5?

[gina · Rating 1 out of 5]

Such a disappointment. I liked the overall tone of the writing style but everything else is just bland and vacuous. The characters are characters I’ve already encountered multiple times in multiple different books. Every single one has their own ordinary (which is fine, that’s real life) but ultimately boring history. For a character driven story to work they have to be distinct and compelling but all you get here is facts thrown at you but no deep dive into their being and individuality. It didn’t make me feel a thing except annoyance. There was just nothing new to discover, the same cliché quotes and in the end the same maxim. I got actually so bored that I skim read the last 100 pages, wishing I just dnf'd a lot sooner.