Anxious Attachment Recovery: The People Pleaser's Guide To Secure Relationships, Healthy Boundaries, and Emotional Freedom

by H.L. Nakamura

Do you constantly worry if you’re “too much” for others—or not enough? Do you bend over backward to keep the peace, even when it hurts you? If so, it might be more than just being nice. It might be anxious attachment.

You may not have had the words for it before, but you’ve felt it. That ache when someone pulls away. The fear of setting boundaries because you might lose them. The exhaustion of people-pleasing just to feel loved, safe, or enough.

If any of this sounds familiar, this book is for you.

In Healing Anxious Stop People Pleasing, Set Healthy Boundaries & Build Secure Relationships, you’ll find a compassionate guide that helps you understand the root of your anxious attachment.

This book is more than a how-to. It’s a companion. A roadmap. A mirror. It weaves together personal stories, research, theory, and practical tools that help you feel seen, understood, and empowered to change.

Inside Healing Anxious Attachment, discover how

Identify the hidden ways anxious attachment and people-pleasing show up in your lifeReclaim your inherent self-worth and build emotional independenceCultivate healthy emotional regulation and self-soothing techniquesDevelop secure, emotionally safe connections—without overextending yourselfCreate space for love and intimacy while still honoring your own needs…and so much more.

Whether you’re dating, navigating friendships, or working on long-term partnerships, this book gives you the tools to set boundaries with confidence and move toward secure, balanced relationships.

If you’ve ever felt like you care too much, give too much, or lose yourself in relationships, this book will help you come home to yourself.

Start your healing journey today. Your transformation begins the moment you open this book.

196 pages, Kindle Edition

Published July 19, 2025

About the author

H.L. Nakamura is a Registered Nurse, medical spa owner, and author who understands firsthand the journey from people-pleasing to self-empowerment. After years of helping others through healthcare and aesthetic services, she discovered that true transformation begins within. Drawing from her professional experience and personal growth journey, she now writes to help women break free from people-pleasing patterns and embrace their authentic selves.
As a working mother and entrepreneur, she intimately understands the challenges of balancing others' needs with self-care. Through her writing, she combines practical wisdom with compassionate guidance, helping readers transition from exhaustion to empowerment. Beyond her self-help work, she channels her creativity into young adult mysteries and designing coloring books, believing that creativity and self-expression are vital paths to personal growth.
Deeply committed to holistic well-being, she advocates for the power of meditation, mindfulness, and maintaining an authentic life. Her philosophy centers on the importance of calming the mind while nurturing a spirit of persistence and perseverance. Whether through her books, artistic designs, or wellness guidance, she encourages others to embrace their unique journey with unwavering determination.
When not writing or running her medical spa, she can be found exploring nature through camping and travel, taking mindful walks, or spending cherished time with her teenage son, family, and friends. She believes that every experience—whether challenging or joyful—contributes to our personal story and growth.

Reviews

[Clara · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book helped me see patterns that were damaging my relationships that I didn't even know about. It made so much sense that people who want to please others also have uneasy attachments. I finally see a way to move forward. The valuable tips and emotional insights touched home. It was like having a wise buddy help me heal.

[Allison · Rating 5 out of 5]

I always thought I was just "too sensitive," but this book showed me that there is more going on. It talked about my concerns and tendencies in a way that made me feel understood instead of judged. I liked how the author used real-life examples and offered me tools that I could really use. Now I feel calmer, stronger, and more in touch with myself.

[Aubrey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this was like finally hearing the words I needed to hear. There were so many occasions when I had a lightbulb moment! I liked how it dealt with profound emotional traumas kindly while still giving actual answers. It didn't just advise me to set limits; it showed me how and why they are essential. Great for everyone who is sick of feeling like they aren't good enough.

[Millie · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you've ever been afraid of being "too much" or not deserving of love, this book is for you. It helped me figure out what makes me upset and how often I go over and beyond to keep folks around. Some of the tools I've already started utilising are making a difference. It makes you feel good and gives you power.

[Melody · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book doesn't preach; it gets it. I felt like someone saw me, not judged me. It named feelings I've had for years and showed me a proper way to build better connections. It's easy to follow along with because of the mix of information, personal reflection, and exercises. I'll keep going back to it when I need to start over.

[Ayla · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I had found this sooner. Each chapter made things clearer and more comforting. It talked about uneasy attachment in a way that was both helpful and relatable. I've always had trouble with boundaries, but this book made me feel like I could do it instead of being scared—a real life-changer for folks who offer too much.

[Bella · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was like a novel that helped me feel better. I didn't think I would weep, but it touched me in the best way. This is your indication to start healing if you're tired of being the one who keeps the peace. The book shows you how to care for others without losing yourself. There is so much insight in each chapter.

[Skylar · Rating 5 out of 5]

It makes me feel good and gives me power. I never knew why I got scared when people left me until now. This book helped me understand where those worries came from and provided me with real ways to deal with them. It's not just talk; it's change. I feel more sure of myself and safe, even when things don't go as planned.

[Lucia · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lovely mix of practical advice and personal insight. I felt like I was in every chapter. It helped me see that trying to please others wasn't just a habit; it was a way to stay alive. I now see that there is another method. I'm learning to respect my needs and quit putting others' happiness ahead of my own.—strong and healing.

[Gabriella · Rating 4 out of 5]

This novel made me feel like I was letting go. I didn't know how much nervous attachment had affected my life until I read it. Every page made me realise how I've been making myself smaller to feel safe. It gives you hope and makes things clear. This book will help you if you've ever had trouble speaking out or asking for what you need.

[Hailey · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's not often that you encounter a book that is both smart and quite nice. The book was written particularly for me. The insights concerning emotional triggers and dread of being left behind hit home. The most important thing was the emphasis on developing safe, loving connections, starting with the one you have with yourself. This gave me hope and a path to follow.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a very soft and reassuring read. I've read numerous books about attachment, but this one hit home for me. It didn't simply explain uneasy attachment; it also helped me understand why I've always pushed so hard to be flawless or required. I'm learning to stop looking for love and let go. It already feels like a weight has been lifted.

[Savannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

The advice in this book comes from understanding, not blaming. That's what made it so strong for me. I've always had trouble saying no and keeping my limits because I was afraid of being rejected. I now know what this fear is called and, more importantly, how to get over it. I feel more stable and confident, and I'll come back to these pages often.

[Cora · Rating 5 out of 5]

This or that. This book reminded me that it is possible to heal, even if you had, for most of the subsequent years, tried to make othersčkom. The stories made me feel better, the research backed me up, and the workouts pushed me to do more. It's the best mix of emotional support and helpful guidance. I told two of my pals who like to please others about it.

[Madeline · Rating 5 out of 5]

dry; I 徐 this up thinking retouching it would be easy, but I ended up picking tokens up thinking I would just skim yee, but I ended up rewriting half of it. It made me think about how I act in relationships. I didn't know how much I had given up on my own needs until I read this. I'm making little but essential changes now, and they are having a significant effect

[Natalia · Rating 5 out of 5]

What I liked best about this book is how profoundly it validates me. I've always thought there was something "wrong" with me in relationships—too needy, too sensitive. But today I perceive such behaviours as a sign of an uneasy connection. I'm learning how to calm myself down and change my emotional habits for the better. I didn't know I needed this book

[Ariana · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is like a roadmap for how to avoid being afraid of losing people. It doesn't guarantee quick cures, but it does give you actual TOURs and emotional insight. Subhead I liked the bits about how to establish self-worth and set limits with love instead of guilt. This is an excellent place for people who offer too much to be understood.

[Lydia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is very emotional and motivating. I used to be ashamed of what made me feel attached, but now I feel sorry for myself. The writer does a great job of making hard-to-understand principles easy to understand and use. I'm already noticing the changes in how I deal with people. I'm more confident and less scared.

[Athena · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had no concept of how often I was giving up on myself just to feel "safe" in relationships. This book helped me figure out why I do that and gave me the strength to stop. It's nice, clear, and complete, times when I felt like I was there. If you feel like you're giving too much, here is a good place to find comfort and clarity.

[Eden · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book helped me understand how much emotional baggage I've been carrying to keep people close. It helped me put words to feelings I couldn't express before. The writing is comforting, and the tools do what they're supposed to do. I've already begun to practice new routines that help me feel stable without needing to be reassured by people all the time.

[Iris · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so calming and eye-opening. For years, I've had trouble with feeling "clingy" or "needy," and now I know why. More significantly, I finally believe that I'm not broken; I just need to heal. The book helps you through that process in a gentle way. I'll keep it on my nightstand for a long time.

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

This isn't simply a book; it's a hug for your nervous system. I used to think that setting limits was selfish, but now I see that it's a way to protect myself. The author is cautious with their writing, and each chapter made me feel stronger. This will help you find your way back if you've ever lost yourself in a relationship.

[Eloise · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must-read for anyone who wants to stop becoming a people-pleaser. The book doesn't just tell you to stop; it helps you figure out why you started. That made a significant impact on me. It made me feel so sorry for my younger self and gave me the tools I needed to move forward with more confidence and less fear.

[Jade · Rating 5 out of 5]

I didn't think this book would be so personal, but it truly spoke to me. It made me realise how hard I've been working to get affection instead of just getting it. I liked how it combined psychology, real-life stories, and exercises in a way that made sense and wasn't too much—a soft approach to being free of your feelings.

[Caroline · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book taught me that resolving anxious attachment isn't about altering who you are; it's about getting back to yourself. I don't say sorry for having wants anymore, and that has impacted my relationships. It has a lot of valuable functions, but what makes it stand out is how it validates your feelings.

[Brooklyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book can help you figure out why you sometimes feel like you care too much or get involved too quickly. More significantly, it shows you how to stay connected without losing who you are. I liked how the tone didn't judge. It was like talking to someone who had been through it and found a way out.

[Quinn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was different from the first page. It doesn't make you feel bad for being sensitive or requiring comfort. Instead, it shows you how to make yourself emotionally safe from the inside out. I'm now showing up in relationships more calmly and with more precise boundaries, and it's already making a difference.

[Ruby · Rating 4 out of 5]

It felt like someone finally grasped the storm in my heart when I read this. I've always been afraid of being left behind, but this book helped me put those thoughts into words and gave me peaceful ways to move forward. I feel more in control now that I've started creating boundaries. It gives you strength and makes you feel better at the same time.

[Claire · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book broke things down in a way that was very personal yet still based on psychology. I didn't feel like I was being scolded; I felt like I was being helped. I used to think that being anxious in relationships was just who I was. I now see it as something I can work through instead of something that defines me. I will read this book again and again.

[Kinsley · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book that doesn't advise you to stop overthinking but helps you figure out why you do it. I felt safe reading this because I thought the author had been in my shoes and knew how to get out. Instead of always needing reassurance, I'm learning how to calm myself down. This has changed the way I interact with other people.