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Not Disrespect, Just a Cry for Boundaries: A Neuroaffirming Guide to Boundaries and Accountability for Autistic and PDA Kids & Teens
Does every boundary turn into a battle?Do simple requests spark meltdowns, shutdowns, or endless negotiations?
Does “no” seem to push your autistic or PDA child further into overwhelm instead of helping them calm down?
When boundaries seem to backfire, it’s not because you’re doing anything wrong. It’s because your child’s nervous system processes safety, control, and expectations differently. What looks like defiance is often anxiety, and traditional discipline can unintentionally make things harder.
Not Disrespect, Just a Cry for Boundaries offers a compassionate, practical roadmap to help you set limits without shame, power struggles, or constant conflict.
Inside, you’ll ✔️ Why traditional discipline and firm consequences often escalate meltdowns
✔️ The difference between a demand and a boundary and why it matters
✔️ How to set limits while helping your child feel safe, not controlled
✔️ Why kids lie or deny when they feel unsafe—and how to make truth-telling feel safe again
✔️ Ways to support your own nervous system so you can respond calmly
✔️ Ready-to-use scripts for real-life chores, screentime, transitions, hygiene, public settings, and more
✔️ How to teach accountability without shame or punishment
✔️ Tools to help your child recognize internal cues and set their own boundaries
✔️ Strategies to stay grounded and hold firm when others question your parenting
Written by neurodivergent parent and advocate Avery Grant, this short, compassionate guide is designed for overwhelmed parents who need clarity and actionable tools right now. You’ll learn practical strategies that support autistic and demand-avoidant kids by working with their nervous systems, not against them.
Part of the Autism and PDA Support Series by Avery Grant, this guide joins a growing collection of short and compassionate resources designed for real-life struggles, written for parents who need real-world, neurodiversity-affirming support.
Does “no” seem to push your autistic or PDA child further into overwhelm instead of helping them calm down?
When boundaries seem to backfire, it’s not because you’re doing anything wrong. It’s because your child’s nervous system processes safety, control, and expectations differently. What looks like defiance is often anxiety, and traditional discipline can unintentionally make things harder.
Not Disrespect, Just a Cry for Boundaries offers a compassionate, practical roadmap to help you set limits without shame, power struggles, or constant conflict.
Inside, you’ll ✔️ Why traditional discipline and firm consequences often escalate meltdowns
✔️ The difference between a demand and a boundary and why it matters
✔️ How to set limits while helping your child feel safe, not controlled
✔️ Why kids lie or deny when they feel unsafe—and how to make truth-telling feel safe again
✔️ Ways to support your own nervous system so you can respond calmly
✔️ Ready-to-use scripts for real-life chores, screentime, transitions, hygiene, public settings, and more
✔️ How to teach accountability without shame or punishment
✔️ Tools to help your child recognize internal cues and set their own boundaries
✔️ Strategies to stay grounded and hold firm when others question your parenting
Written by neurodivergent parent and advocate Avery Grant, this short, compassionate guide is designed for overwhelmed parents who need clarity and actionable tools right now. You’ll learn practical strategies that support autistic and demand-avoidant kids by working with their nervous systems, not against them.
Part of the Autism and PDA Support Series by Avery Grant, this guide joins a growing collection of short and compassionate resources designed for real-life struggles, written for parents who need real-world, neurodiversity-affirming support.
82 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 21, 2025
9 people are currently reading
13 people want to read
About the author
Avery Grant
19 books1 followerAvery Grant is a writer, researcher, and neurodiversity advocate who creates clear, compassionate, and practical guides for families, educators, and individuals navigating autism and PDA.
Avery never planned to write parenting books. But when their child was identified as autistic with a strong PDA profile, everything shifted. That journey opened the door to understanding their own neurodivergence and revealed how hard it can be to find respectful, accessible support. Most resources felt too long, too expensive, or too focused on “fixing” kids instead of understanding them — so Avery began writing the guides they wished they’d had.
Writing under the pen name Avery Grant allows for honesty and vulnerability while protecting their family’s privacy. Each guide blends lived experience with research, drawing from years of collaboration with psychologists, occupational therapists, speech-language pathologists, developmental pediatricians, and neuropsychologists.
Representation matters. Avery intentionally chooses inclusive images and examples so more families can feel seen and understood. At the heart of these guides is a simple belief: every child and every family deserves compassionate, neuroaffirming support.
The mission behind these books is simple: make support more accessible. These guides are for the burned-out parents, the overwhelmed educators, the late-diagnosed adults piecing things together, and every family who hasn’t always seen themselves reflected in autism resources but deserves understanding and validation. Avery believes that emotional neglect lies at the heart of so much harm in the world — especially for neurodivergent kids whose needs are so often misunderstood. When children grow up feeling respected instead of shamed, they are more likely to become adults who lead with empathy and help create a kinder, safer world. Parenting with less shame and more connection has the power to change lives.
Avery never planned to write parenting books. But when their child was identified as autistic with a strong PDA profile, everything shifted. That journey opened the door to understanding their own neurodivergence and revealed how hard it can be to find respectful, accessible support. Most resources felt too long, too expensive, or too focused on “fixing” kids instead of understanding them — so Avery began writing the guides they wished they’d had.
Writing under the pen name Avery Grant allows for honesty and vulnerability while protecting their family’s privacy. Each guide blends lived experience with research, drawing from years of collaboration with psychologists, occupational therapists, speech-language pathologists, developmental pediatricians, and neuropsychologists.
Representation matters. Avery intentionally chooses inclusive images and examples so more families can feel seen and understood. At the heart of these guides is a simple belief: every child and every family deserves compassionate, neuroaffirming support.
The mission behind these books is simple: make support more accessible. These guides are for the burned-out parents, the overwhelmed educators, the late-diagnosed adults piecing things together, and every family who hasn’t always seen themselves reflected in autism resources but deserves understanding and validation. Avery believes that emotional neglect lies at the heart of so much harm in the world — especially for neurodivergent kids whose needs are so often misunderstood. When children grow up feeling respected instead of shamed, they are more likely to become adults who lead with empathy and help create a kinder, safer world. Parenting with less shame and more connection has the power to change lives.
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