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Adult Daughters of Emotionally Absent Fathers: Stop earning love that should've been yours by default, and break the spell that's shaping your love around his rejection
You're a ghost to your own father—and that emptiness follows you into every room, every relationship, every mirror you've ever looked into.
You know that sick feeling in your stomach when you watch other girls get actual affection from their dads?
When you realize you've been emotionally starving your entire life and thought it was normal?
When you understand that ‘provider’ and ‘parent’ aren’t the same thing—not even close?
Yeah. That feeling.
Maybe you learned early that your feelings were inconvenient. That needing comfort made you "difficult." That love had to be earned through straight A's, perfect behavior, and emotional invisibility. So you became the girl who didn't cry, who read every room but never got read in return.
Now? You're still shrinking to fit. Still flinching when kindness feels unfamiliar. Still chasing men who make you prove you're worth loving—because that ache feels like home.
Do you recognize your father in these behaviors?
• Spoke to you in a flat, disinterested tone (if he spoke at all)
• Never celebrated your achievements beyond a distracted "good job"
• Was always mentally elsewhere—TV, phone, work, literally anything but you
• Treated your emotions like a technical problem to solve or ignore
• Made you feel dramatic for wanting basic emotional connection
• Denied reality when you tried discussing his emotional absence
Maybe you're experiencing these Low self-esteem despite achievements. Romantic relationships with men who don't value you. Feeling like you must "earn" love through performance. Unexplained anger that feels too big for your body. Difficulty believing you deserve emotional attention without strings attached.
Here's what nobody tells emotional absence is still abandonment, even when they pay for college.
Through fifteen brutally honest chapters, you'll
• Why you're attracted to emotionally unavailable men ( they feel like home)
• How father hunger shows up in your conference room AND your bedroom
• Why you sabotage healthy relationships when men are actually emotionally available
• How to stop performing for male approval and start expecting it as baseline human decency
• Tools for healing that don't require your father to change or acknowledge his limitations
• How to become the parent you needed when you were small
No fairy-tale reconciliation stories here. Just the raw truth about becoming whole when he left you broken.
This isn't therapy-speak wrapped in gentle language. This is the brutal honesty of someone who spent years in therapy, made every mistake in the book, and learned everything the hard way. It's like having a conversation with your wisest friend who's been to emotional hell and back—with receipts, wisdom, and the ability to make you laugh while validating your pain.
You've been a ghost long enough. Time to fill that void—that hollow feeling that follows you everywhere. It's the most beautiful gift you'll ever give yourself. And absolutely liberating.
You know that sick feeling in your stomach when you watch other girls get actual affection from their dads?
When you realize you've been emotionally starving your entire life and thought it was normal?
When you understand that ‘provider’ and ‘parent’ aren’t the same thing—not even close?
Yeah. That feeling.
Maybe you learned early that your feelings were inconvenient. That needing comfort made you "difficult." That love had to be earned through straight A's, perfect behavior, and emotional invisibility. So you became the girl who didn't cry, who read every room but never got read in return.
Now? You're still shrinking to fit. Still flinching when kindness feels unfamiliar. Still chasing men who make you prove you're worth loving—because that ache feels like home.
Do you recognize your father in these behaviors?
• Spoke to you in a flat, disinterested tone (if he spoke at all)
• Never celebrated your achievements beyond a distracted "good job"
• Was always mentally elsewhere—TV, phone, work, literally anything but you
• Treated your emotions like a technical problem to solve or ignore
• Made you feel dramatic for wanting basic emotional connection
• Denied reality when you tried discussing his emotional absence
Maybe you're experiencing these Low self-esteem despite achievements. Romantic relationships with men who don't value you. Feeling like you must "earn" love through performance. Unexplained anger that feels too big for your body. Difficulty believing you deserve emotional attention without strings attached.
Here's what nobody tells emotional absence is still abandonment, even when they pay for college.
Through fifteen brutally honest chapters, you'll
• Why you're attracted to emotionally unavailable men ( they feel like home)
• How father hunger shows up in your conference room AND your bedroom
• Why you sabotage healthy relationships when men are actually emotionally available
• How to stop performing for male approval and start expecting it as baseline human decency
• Tools for healing that don't require your father to change or acknowledge his limitations
• How to become the parent you needed when you were small
No fairy-tale reconciliation stories here. Just the raw truth about becoming whole when he left you broken.
This isn't therapy-speak wrapped in gentle language. This is the brutal honesty of someone who spent years in therapy, made every mistake in the book, and learned everything the hard way. It's like having a conversation with your wisest friend who's been to emotional hell and back—with receipts, wisdom, and the ability to make you laugh while validating your pain.
You've been a ghost long enough. Time to fill that void—that hollow feeling that follows you everywhere. It's the most beautiful gift you'll ever give yourself. And absolutely liberating.
- GenresSelf Help
379 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 20, 2025
211 people are currently reading
586 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
January 17, 2026
I can’t say enough how helpful this book was in recognizing patterns and learning how to break them while also acknowledging possible causes. Hearing that you can love your dad and still acknowledge that he cannot give you what you need emotionally was groundbreaking to hear.
January 26, 2026
I usually finish books within a couple of days, but this one took me a minute because it’s soooo repetitive and boring. The author rambles and rambles on about the same things, just in different situations regarding her father. Okay, we know your father is emotionally unavailable… what else? How may situations are you going to bring up to try and prove the fact? We get it! The first chapter will help you realize if you fall into the same category in regards to having an emotionally unavailable father, but after that, the book serves zero purpose.
February 4, 2026
This book tackles an important subject but undercuts itself. Large sections are devoted to revisiting the author’s resentment toward her father, often at the expense of the broader theme. What begins as context quickly becomes fixation, and the repeated emotional unloading feels more cathartic for the author than useful for the reader. The result is a work that confuses personal processing with thoughtful analysis.
January 8, 2026
This book reached me in a way nothing else ever has.
It’s simple, honest and brutally real. No fluff, no over-explaining, no pretending. I listened to the audiobook. I cried, I laughed and I had to pause it more than once to sit with what I had just heard. I saved clips. I wrote things down. There were so many “holy shit, how did I not see this before” moments. It didn’t just describe experiences. It named things I had lived with for decades without understanding them.
It took me forty years, a major personal shock and this book for things to finally click. It helped me see patterns I couldn’t see on my own and understand myself with clarity. For the first time I felt seen, validated and understood in ways I could not do on my own.
What I loved most is how simple and clear the message is. There was no jargon or pretension. Just direct, honest truth that was sometimes uncomfortable, but exactly what I needed to hear. This book put me on the right path. It will take time and hard work, but I am worthy. I am finally showing up for myself and my inner child. I am deeply grateful to the person whose love and whose leaving shattered me to the point where I could no longer look away from my demons.
It’s simple, honest and brutally real. No fluff, no over-explaining, no pretending. I listened to the audiobook. I cried, I laughed and I had to pause it more than once to sit with what I had just heard. I saved clips. I wrote things down. There were so many “holy shit, how did I not see this before” moments. It didn’t just describe experiences. It named things I had lived with for decades without understanding them.
It took me forty years, a major personal shock and this book for things to finally click. It helped me see patterns I couldn’t see on my own and understand myself with clarity. For the first time I felt seen, validated and understood in ways I could not do on my own.
What I loved most is how simple and clear the message is. There was no jargon or pretension. Just direct, honest truth that was sometimes uncomfortable, but exactly what I needed to hear. This book put me on the right path. It will take time and hard work, but I am worthy. I am finally showing up for myself and my inner child. I am deeply grateful to the person whose love and whose leaving shattered me to the point where I could no longer look away from my demons.
July 31, 2025
Brutal honesty
This book is the author's brutal truth as to what it is like to grow with a father who is physically present but absent emotionally. The author shares her painful journey and her path to healing. She teaches the reader how to unlearn the lessons of childhood and identify men who are connected emotionally.
This book is the author's brutal truth as to what it is like to grow with a father who is physically present but absent emotionally. The author shares her painful journey and her path to healing. She teaches the reader how to unlearn the lessons of childhood and identify men who are connected emotionally.
July 31, 2025
you deserve emotional attention with no strings attached
The author explains the after effects of being emotionally denied as a child. When emotional attention is attached to performance or totally absent, the aftermath follows to,adulthood resulting in poor choices for affection. Read this book and learn to break free.
The author explains the after effects of being emotionally denied as a child. When emotional attention is attached to performance or totally absent, the aftermath follows to,adulthood resulting in poor choices for affection. Read this book and learn to break free.
February 7, 2026
From Father Hunger to Fulfilled
Absolutely amazing book! It was a hard read because of the raw subject matter; however, it was necessary for my growth and healing. I will FOREVER recommend this book to anyone struggling with a Father wound. It helped me to name 33 years of baggage. Bravo, Lyla!
Absolutely amazing book! It was a hard read because of the raw subject matter; however, it was necessary for my growth and healing. I will FOREVER recommend this book to anyone struggling with a Father wound. It helped me to name 33 years of baggage. Bravo, Lyla!
January 17, 2026
This book explained so many challenges that I have been through & helped me understand why/how some of my relationships have failed. I am glad I sought out counseling & have worked through some of my daddy issues.
January 23, 2026
I read a lot of these types of books for work (children of emotionally immature parents, children of narcissists etc) and this one is one of the worst. They all trend towards disorganized rambling anecdotal details and this one was the same yet somehow worse. I loathed the AI reader also.
July 29, 2025
Daughters of Narcissistic parents
If you are like a ghost to you one father this book is for you. Help overcome that sick feeling in your stomach.
If you are like a ghost to you one father this book is for you. Help overcome that sick feeling in your stomach.
December 28, 2025
One of the hardest books I have ever read. Worth the read though for sure! Just be ready to get sad.
December 30, 2025
Chapter ten took me out 😭😭😭
January 6, 2026
thank you Lyla
I’ve never felt so seen before… I hate that I can relate but so glad that I’m not alone and that I can choose better for myself and my children.
I’ve never felt so seen before… I hate that I can relate but so glad that I’m not alone and that I can choose better for myself and my children.
January 15, 2026
Very enlightening!
January 22, 2026
The best book I have read in a long time! It was validating and answered so many questions.
January 25, 2026
worth a read
good for the most part, some parts were a little theatrical or overly harsh on the dad but the core approach to addressing the inner work is great
good for the most part, some parts were a little theatrical or overly harsh on the dad but the core approach to addressing the inner work is great
February 5, 2026
This book was obviously written by AI. The repetition confirms it.
February 9, 2026
It was quite an eyeopener to learn the source of entertaining a toxic relationship. The best part was the solution to avoid them
January 12, 2026
This was so insightful and transformative in terms of revealing the emotions and pain points behind some of the ways I live my life. (Totally love my dad though, he’s just not the most emotional guy)
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews