Girlfriending

by Susanna Daniel

After a brief but intense affair that ends in wreckage, a divorced mother of two sets out to mend her own shattered heart by going on ten first dates, a quest she takes on with the ride-or-die support of her best friend and the small but mighty community she gathers along the way.

From the award winning author of two beloved novels about the slippery terrain of love and marriage set in South Florida comes a story about remaking one's life midstream, an exploration of friendship, the search for love and community, courtship, sex, marriage, and all the shades in between, and a love song to the author’s adopted hometown of Madison, Wisconsin.

Girlfriending is a spinoff of Susanna’s award-winning short story, “The Goddess of Illicit Choices,” which won the 2024 Zona Gale Award for Short Fiction.

Genres: Fiction, Queer, Romance

242 pages, Paperback

Published February 10, 2026

Reviews

[Jenna Goldsmith · Rating 5 out of 5]

More middle-aged lesbian novels, please.

[Amy Knock · Rating 5 out of 5]

Susanna's storytelling pulled me in on page one. Her voice feels like a friend sitting next to you, sharing all the wisdom. It captures all of the aspects of connection and left me thinking after the last page. It's definitely a fast and enjoyable read!

[Lindsay Bartels · Rating 5 out of 5]

A stellar novel with such rich and poignantly observed slices from modern life. A literary joy and a gift to all readers. Congrats, Susanna!

[Jonah Footbal · Rating 3 out of 5]

I only picked this up because it was Valentine's Day and my mom's friend wrote it, but it was actually pretty good. It turned out to be kinda spicy, but congrats gang 🫰

[Meredith Vanderbilt · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Must-Read Journey of Midlife Reawakening
Susanna Daniel’s Girlfriending is a masterfully written, evocative novel that captures the messy, hilarious, and deeply moving reality of a midlife queer awakening. At forty-seven, the narrator navigates the fallout of a heartbreaking end with a woman known only as "Z" by embarking on an experimental mission: going on ten first dates. This "lesbian adolescence" is rendered with incredible candor and wit, exploring the vulnerability of rediscovering oneself and one's body after decades in a conventional marriage. Daniel avoids self-help clichés, instead delivering a racy and tender story that feels as authentic as real life. 
The novel shines in its portrayal of female friendship and the complexities of long-term bonds. The relationship between the narrator and her best friend, Amanda, serves as a grounded anchor throughout the chaotic dating experiment. Their shared history and evolving lives—including Amanda’s own marital struggles and eventual move—provide a rich emotional backdrop to the central quest for love. The prose is expertly plotted, balancing the "heat and heart" of new romantic encounters with the heavy, relatable themes of grief, aging, and the pursuit of a more authentic existence. 
Girlfriending is a rare find: a story about midlife that feels fresh, mesmerizing, and unapologetically gleeful despite the tears shed along the way. Whether the narrator is clumsily splitting wood on a date or finding peace through an energy healer, her journey toward self-worth is universally resonant. It is a compassionate and truthful exploration of what it means to keep casting for love, even when you know how badly it can hurt. This book is a treasure for anyone who has ever had to break open their own life to find what lies beneath.

[Madison Vlasak · Rating 5 out of 5]

We 👏 Love 👏 Gay 👏 Madison 👏 Authors 👏

It takes a lot to get a book across the finish line in a weekend for me nowadays, especially when I pick it up from the bookstore on a Friday and have other books going, but this was a breeze. Big recommend to any of the Lovers™️ out there and am excited to loan my copy to my queer best friend and hear their thoughts!

[Chloë Fowler · Rating 2 out of 5]

Too many kayaks for my liking.

Jokes.

I'm a late 40's lesbian who was quite recently 'on the apps' and frankly, either I'm just jealous or disbelieving. There's clearly a parallel universe that's not what dating is like in, fair enough, London.

Needed more plot. But definitely no more dates.

[Liz Fiorino · Rating 4 out of 5]

Found in this book one of my favorite lines ever written: “I’m grateful to wake up each day in this heartbreaking and beautiful world, lugging outsized grief and love in this brief vessel of a body.”

Susanna Daniel is a lovely writer, and this book is full of heart.

[C Dow · Rating 5 out of 5]

My favorite aspect of GIRLFRIENDING is just a superbly written immersive story of finding identity and relationships that matter, even in the ones that end. I relate so much to the happenstance of new love and the different story each relationship tells and teaches. Susanna Daniel’s talent as a writer easily helped me overcome any inherent biases I might have about reading a gender fluid novel. Love was truly LOVE. The main character is tender, funny, raging, heartbroken, resilient and all the feels. Each and every make up and break up is relatable. I recommend GIRLFRIENDING to anyone who seeks a good love story and excellent writing craft.

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

So true-feeling that I had to double check it was a novel! A fun and heartfelt story of self discovery and healing after heartbreak.

[Madison Glusick · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was really sweet! It took me a second to get into but overall enjoyed it and it’s based in Madison so it was fun to try guessing where different things were taking place

[Shirley Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

What would it be like to discover that, after a divorce from a man who is the father of my adolescent children, what I really wanted was a lesbian relationship? Now I know, even though the thought never occurred to me. The narrator's exuberance and immersion in her recently discovered lesbian adolescent life straight away swept me off and I read this book in a couple of sittings.

Setting herself the goal of dating ten women to find a lasting relationship, the narrator approaches each date with whole hearted openness, despite (or because of) the deep wound she's carrying from Z, whom she loved, who inexplicably broke up with her. Now the narrator is there for whatever each woman brings her in a way we might all aspire to no matter what our sexual orientation; at least, I aspire to that kind of living. She's also mindful of her own reactions and feelings (which sometimes have to be carefully unearthed) and tries to honor them, all the while filtering out residue from feelings for Z. She's also grateful for how much her world expands because of the endeavor.

She examines her experiences with the help of her long time nonromantic girlfriends, particularly Amanda. Amanda has her own very imperfect marriage to contend with, a situation that brings out strong opinions from the narrator, which she diplomatically tries to alternately contain or convey, depending on what Amanda needs. They talk about almost everything, and enviably spend a lot of time together doing outdoor things, like making their way across the frozen lake or walking their dogs.

[CC · Rating 3 out of 5]

The bottom line: I love Daniel's writing, and I'll read anything she writes. I cannot recommend "Stilstville" and "Sea Creatures" more highly. I enjoyed "Girlfriending" plenty, but it just didn't hit the same.

Loved the premise, the writing, the setting (unnamed, but it's clearly my city!). Daniel is a virtuoso of character development.

I think I'm just a little burnt out on auto-fiction? And I can't get over how thoroughly I disliked the main character's ex-husband (and how the main character just...never pushed back on his fucked up words and actions). I'm trying to imagine an ex-spouse consistently groping me without my consent...and I just accept it as if it's normal? The whole thing makes me blind with rage. A bleak portrait, in so many ways.

[R Oettinger · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book spoke to my heart: of friendship and love, of partnering and parenting, and of finding new, energizing paths at the end of well-trodden ones. A forty-something woman goes on ten first dates after the end of her marriage to a man and after a painful ghosting from the first woman she loved, all while processing the death of a parent and the imminent cross-country relocation of a lifelong friend. During her "lesbian adolescence" of dating new people, she meets a few downright "nos," several solid "maybes," and quite possibly a real "yes." As she explores friendships, girlfriendships, and girl friendships, Daniel tells tender truths about the connections we have with others.

[Missy O · Rating 5 out of 5]

Disclaimer: I’m one of the 10 dates… I love this book! It is hard to put down and I devoured it in just a day, but not because it doesn’t have substance. There’s so much good stuff packed into this. It is somehow both authentic to my own experience and experiencing someone else’s adventure. It is sweet, funny, and warm. It captures so many types of relationships and so many of the parts of those relationships from first dates to heartbreaking and friendships and family - and doesn’t feel crowded. Overall, I left this book feeling joy, anticipation, and optimism for how we can all find love and friendship - and not just because I’m one of the dates from the book. ;)

[Pam Anderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book to be incredibly consumable. Once I started, I was ALL IN.
Loved the personal journey the narrator went on, and all of the details that…well, make up a life: what we eat, what we notice, the places we spend our time.
I also loved that there are many parallel universes that exist in the book—the friend who stays in any satisfying marriage, the one who leaves. The women who seek permanence at all costs, the ones who run when permanence looms. A study of humanity, really.
Well written and warm, like a deep conversation with a good friend. Highly recommend.

[Rhea · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a tender, real book about being queer in midlife. Every topic, from friendship to dating, parenting to divorce, is handled in such a nuanced, unique way. The ex relationship really grossed me out but felt realistic to having a man in your life in any capacity. I liked that it wasn’t all “happy family”. My favorite relationship is the best friend one - what a living depiction of a long friendship between women. The lesbian dating stuff was great, perfect amount of sex as well. I loved this book, I’m gonna buy it for my best friend!

[Charlene Derby · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received a copy of this book as part of a promotion from the publisher. I find Susanna's writing witty and insightful. What is most valuable to me, though, is that it provides me with a better understanding of same-sex attraction. When members of my extended family came out as queer (their term) there were questions I wanted to ask but couldn't out of respect for their privacy. Susanna's brave descriptions of her experiences answer some of those questions.

[Shay Harlan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Girlfriending was one of those books that quietly stayed with me. It is less about romance and more about the importance of friendship, timing, and the small, ordinary moments that make a relationship meaningful. I loved the reminder that connection is built through everyday life, not just grand gestures.

It made me reflect on my own relationships and what it really means to feel known by another person. Warm, thoughtful, and emotionally honest, this was a book I am glad I picked up.

[Ann Imig · Rating 5 out of 5]

Susanna Daniel's latest is smart, spicy, and hard to put down. I devoured it in a weekend. Reading Girlfriending feels like getting all the dirt about dating from your newly-single friend, one who's honest (often to a fault), incisive, and funny as hell. Girlfriending is fresh, enthralling, and FUN. Amazing writer.

[Tanya · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a delight to read! I missed these characters when I had to put the book down and I’ll miss them now that I’ve finished it. The narrator is so warm and generous and quirky and self-aware that it’s impossible not to love her. The pacing is great and even though it’s about finding love, so much of the book is about friendship— with the best friend, with the brother, even with her ex.

[carol faynik · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love the protagonist’s course of finding a partner, a love for a long lasting relationship. I love her connections with the various women she dated as part of her 10 dates. The characters are well developed, interesting and heartwarming. And I love the humor of the protagonist. She made me laugh as she encountered life‘s challenges. A book well worth reading.

[Neeyati · Rating 4 out of 5]

Appeal factors: authentic characters, funny, conversational, candid

This book felt wonderfully queer, i.e. full of nuance and possibility and multiple truths. There's lots of space for the narrator to feel conflicting feelings, learn through experience, form relationships of different shapes, and move through cycles of connection, conflict, and repair. With humor!

[Jtlerner · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a fun book to read! Yeah for more books with main characters in perimenopause please. The mix of self exploration, sprinkled with details of co-parenting teens, made this story a peak into another life. It was told with honesty and humor. I recommend this book!

[Horace Nelson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Utterly well-written, overflowing with intense relatable feelings. Very Curtis Sittenfeldesque; in my book, a good thing.

[Madeline · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book started out as cute and light and fun and turned in a real slog about halfway through. Woof.

[Jenny Dahm · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall an enjoyable read, an extra star for the Madison references. I found the fixation on Z tiresome, the ending was a little pat for me.

[Ryan Mulrooney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Why did I think I wouldn’t totally love it? So Madison, so well written.

[Madelyn Peppard · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was very entertaining. It was like a window into a world that I personally can only explore through fiction- not just because of the narrator’s orientation, but the way she dates in general is so… far from the way I think about things. Also, being from Madison, I loved going, “hey, I know that place” in almost every chapter.

With that said, the narrator needs to apologize to at least five of the women she dates in this book. Like they did not deserve that. Her avoidant attachment style PMO multiple times because SHe cAnt lOve AgaIN aFTer wHaT hER eX dId. Okay so it’s all of these women’s fault? No. Apologize now. Are you also trying to leave a trail of broken hearts in your wake? Naomi especially should have walked straight out.

Still, it’s a great summer read and I love the narrators friendship with Amanda, her dog, her kids, her ex husband (mostly) and the city of Madison. Susanna’s line-by-line writing improves with each book.